The List
by angel1002
Summary: Janet and Eddie hadn't been dating long before tragedy strikes. WARNING- tissues will be needed and character death. Please send a review and let me know if you want me to continue.
1. Chapter 1

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

_**Got this idea from watching an old episode of Las Vegas a few weeks ago that Geoff Stults (AKA- Eddie Latekka) guest starred in. I have had this chapter written since the day I saw the episode, debating with myself whether or not to post and posting won – so I hope you enjoy a story of true love.**_

"Mr. Latekka we have your latest test results." Dr. Turner said.

"I'm ready." He said bravely. He knew from the look on Dr. Turner's face that the news was not good. His parents each reached over and took one of his hands.

"The MRI showed three cancerous masses on your brain I'm so very sorry." Eddie's mother, Laura began to quietly sob.

"Can you remove them?" Jack Latekka asked Dr. Turner desperately.

"Unfortunately the placement of the tumors is inoperable."

"So what the hell can you do?" Jack snapped.

"Dad, relax." Eddie said

"We can offer radiation and chemo to try and shrink the tumors."

"Will it work?" Eddie asked him softly.

"The type of tumors that you have are very aggressive so the radiation and chemo may slow down the growth but not kill them."

"How much time do I have?"

"Six to nine months." Laura's sobbing increased.

"Is that with the chemo and radiation?" Dr. Turner nodded. "How much time without it?"

"Maybe six months."

"Is it bad, the chemo?"

"There are multiple side effects caused by chemotherapy. You will lose your hair, lose weight, and become weak and tired. You'll constantly be nauseated and throwing up among other things."

"Let me make sure I'm understanding this correctly. I can get chemo and radiation that might slow down these tumors but I'll be miserable until I die correct?"

"Most of the time yes, you will be miserable."

"And what happens if I don't get the treatment?"

"Eddie that's not even an option." Laura spoke up.

"Mom, let Dr. Turner talk."

"If you don't get the treatment over time the tumors will continue to grow and affect different parts of your brain. Your headaches will increase in frequency and severity. You'll develop seizures and possibly lose some body control as different parts of your brain are affected by the tumor and eventually your memory may be altered."

"Altered?'

"You may not recognize people around you, memories will be forgotten, things like that."

"But not the whole time right? Some of my time will be good?"

"Most of it yes. I can give you pain medication for the headaches and medication for the seizures."

"I don't want the treatment." He announced.

"Don't listen to him. He'll take the treatment." Laura said.

"Would you like a few minutes to discuss this?"

"No."

"Yes."

"Mr. Latekka this is a huge decision. You may want some time to think about it." Dr. Turner encouraged.

"No, I don't need to think about it. I don't want the treatment."

"Eddie baby please." Laura begged

"I'll give you guys a some time."

"Thank you doctor." Jack said.

"Sweetheart, you have to get the treatment." Laura told her only son.

"No mom, I'm not doing it."

"It will give you more time."

"But not quality time. I'll be sick and that's not how I want to go out, I want to spend what time I have left living." His mom looked at him with tears streaming down her face. "Mom this is my decision and I would like you to support me."

"Baby, I don't want to lose you."

"It's going to happen with or without the treatment." He told her gently. "Mommy I'm going to need your support. I can't do it without you." Her sobbing started again as she embraced her son.

"Okay Eddie. Whatever you want, I'll support you." She told him when she calmed down.

"Can I have some time alone please?"

"Of course son." Jack said pulling his wife away from Eddie. "We'll go grab some coffee."

"Thanks pop."

Once he was alone the gravity of the situation and his decision came rushing to the surface but he refused to cry because tears wouldn't change anything. He was going to be dead in six months and the timing couldn't be worse. The day before his life went to hell he finally told her he loved her.

He and Janet Meadows had been friends for years. It started out innocently enough. She was the bartender at the bar that he frequented. First it was just drink orders but slowly a treasured friendship developed. He realized that he wanted something more when he saw her leave the bar one night with some loser from The Duf. He was at the bar the next day, at the start of her shift asking her out. He smiled as he remembered the look of surprise and then joy that crossed her face and he knew at that moment that he wanted to be the one who made her that happy for the rest of her life. She casually accepted his dinner invitation for dinner that night and thus was the start of the best relationship of his life.

Their first date was amazing. They talked for hours at the restaurant until the waitress politely asked them to leave because it was closing time. He then took her to the lake where they sat on the dock continuing the conversation that started at the restaurant until the sun rose. After taking her to breakfast he ended the date with a very soft and tender kiss, the first of many that they had shared.

The last four months that they had been together have been the best of his apparently very short life. He loved everything about his new relationship. He loved the hours of conversation about nothing and everything. He loved that she wasn't too girly, she didn't need to primp for hours, she didn't freak if one of her beautiful curls was out of place. She was content to stay home and watch a current game on TV or go paint balling but she also demanded romance from him. At first his friends questioned Eddie's new relationship because Janet was unlike any woman he had ever been with but once they knew that it was the real thing, at least for Eddie, they accepted and supported his choice and they had all seen a change for the better in their friend. In the past he had always preferred tall, thin, busty woman willing to accept one night of sex with no commitment from him and Janet wasn't anything like that. She wasn't tall, she wasn't busty, she wasn't thin and she wasn't willing to accept a meaningless one-night stand from him. She was on the shorter side, chubby and to him her breasts were the perfect size, not to small, not to large and he couldn't wait to put his hands on them. He found everything about her absolutely beautiful. She had told him on their first date that she would not be one of his conquests nor would she be a bang buddy. In the past he would have gotten up and walked away from her but when she told him what she wouldn't accept what he used to want he knew that he no longer wanted any of those things. He wanted something meaningful.

For the past six months he had been getting headaches every day but he would take some Advil or Tylenol and it would relive the pain temporarily. Janet was worried about the amount of headaches he was getting so he eventually quit telling her when he had them and although she didn't question him he had a feeling that she knew that he was still having them. The night he got the headache that sent him to the hospital Janet was going out of town to see her grandparents. He was supposed to go with her but that afternoon a waterline busted in his parents bathroom and he needed to help his dad fix it. He was totally bummed out because Janet had booked them one room at a hotel and they were planning on finally sleeping together.

_"Everything looks good J." Eddie said slamming the trunk. He had checked the air pressure in her tires and her oil. He wanted to make sure that she would be safe on her journey._

_"Wow. You discovered exactly the same thing that I did when I checked the tires and oil." She told him with a smirk._

"_I just want to make sure you'll arrive safely." He said, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her to his chest. _

"_I was single not too long ago Eddie and just because I have a boyfriend doesn't mean that I forgot how to take care of myself." _

"_I'm so sorry that I can't make it, that I ruined our plans." He said through closed eyes. His headache was slowly getting worse. _

"_Family comes before sex Eddie and you're parents need your help." She placed her palm on his cheek. "You're head hurts doesn't it." _

"_It'll be fine." He forced a smile. "You better go. I don't want you driving too late." He covered her hand that was on his cheek and kissed her. When they broke apart she climbed in her jeep and rolled down her window. "Call me when you get there." _

"_I will." She leaned forward and kissed him. "Bye." _

"_Janet." She looked at him expectantly. "I love you." Her eyes widened. He had no idea why he chose that moment to tell her but he really wanted her to know how he felt before she left. _

"_I love you too Eddie." _

Instead of getting better his headache worsened that night at his parents house. When his mom found him on the bathroom floor clutching his head, moaning in agony they rushed him to the ER. Two hours later they told him that he had a mass on his brain and they transferred him to Boston. That was three days ago. He thought of everything that he would never get to do. He would never grow old with Janet. He would never have a family of his own with her. He would never see her dressed in white coming down the aisle towards him. As he thought about all of the things he would never do he felt tears beginning to form. He took a deep breath to keep them from falling. There may be a lot of things he would never be able to do but there were just as many that he could still do while he was alive and by god, he was going to do them. He wasn't going to sit around, saying goodbye to everyone, feeling sorry for himself waiting to die. He was going to enjoy what time he had left and he was going to enjoy it with the woman he loved.

--

Janet sighed as she pulled into Sully's. She was tired from driving home from Rhode Island and she really didn't want to work but Sully sounded so desperate on her machine so she couldn't say no. All she really wanted to do was cuddle up on the couch next to her boyfriend and watch TV but since she hadn't heard from her boyfriend she might as well earn some extra money.

"Thank you so much for coming in Janet." Sully said as soon as he saw her.

"You owe me."

"I know it. Think you can fix the backup at the bar?

"What kind of question is that? Of course I can." She said smugly. Thirty minutes later there was no longer any lines at the bar and all of the patrons of Sully's were happily enjoying their drinks.

"Hey Janet.'

"Hey Nick." Since dating Eddie his friends that had once been just polite costumers have become friends to her.

"Have you heard from Eddie? He's not answering his phone and he hasn't been seen or heard from all weekend. His truck is at his parent's house and they're not home either."

"I heard from him on Friday when he left me a voice mail telling me that he had a family emergency out of town. Aside from a few text messages I haven't heard anything else."

"I hope that everything is okay."

"Me too. Can I get you something Nick?"

"A beer would be great."

An hour later she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. She pulled it out and saw Eddie's name on the caller ID. She quickly flipped it open. "Hey." She answered.

"I'm on my way home. Can I see you tonight?" He asked, jumping right into the conversation.

"Sure. Susan called off so Sully called me in so I'm at the bar. Why don't you swing over here when you get back."

"I'm not really in the mood to for Sully's."

"Okay. Do you want me to head over to your place when I get off?"

"How about your place? Can I just head over and wait for you there?"

"Sure no problem. You know where my spare key is. Make yourself at home and I'll get there as soon as I can."

"Thanks J. I'll see you soon." As she closed her phone she was worried about him. He didn't sound like himself. She couldn't put her finger on it but she knew that something was going on with him.

Finally Sully's slowed down enough that she could leave. She had a massive collection of nervous butterflies that had taken up residence in her stomach when she pulled into her driveway and saw Eddie's truck. Pushing them aside she rushed inside anxious to see her boyfriend. She giggled as that thought entered her mind, boyfriend. She actually had a boyfriend, an extremely hot boyfriend who she had crushed on for years, a boyfriend that loved her. She had fallen in love with Eddie but was terrified to tell him, she was afraid that those words would push him away so she was surprised as hell when he was the first one to say those three precious words. Walking into the house she smiled when she saw Eddie crashed out on her couch. Thanking God for small miracles she headed upstairs for a shower to wash off the stench of beer, smoke and grease from her body. As soon as she was clean she threw on a pair of sweats and a tee shirt, threw her hair up on top of her head and headed back downstairs. She loved the fact that she was comfortable enough in their relationship that she didn't feel the need to always have to perfectly put together, that Eddie loved her if she was wearing her makeup perfectly applied and a dress or if she was wearing her comfy clothes with no makeup.

He was still sleeping when she got back to the living room and she really hated to wake him because he looked so peaceful but she wanted to talk. She gently shook his shoulder. His eyes quickly fluttered opened and he grinned when his eyes focused on her. He pulled himself up, reached for her hand and pulled her onto to the couch next to him. "I've missed you." He whispered thickly before pressing his lips to hers. She giggled as he used his weight to push her back onto the couch. "I've missed you." He repeated seconds before his lips found her neck causing a soft moan to escape her mouth. He slipped his hand under her shirt and it traveled up to her breast. Her nipples were already hard in anticipation when his fingers closed around them. She gasped in surprise as he rolled it between his fingers.

"Eddie…" She whispered in the dark when he pulled his hand away from her breast and his mouth away from her lips.

"Come on." He pulled himself off of her, grabbed her hand and led her to her bedroom. "Is this okay?" He nervously asked her. He wanted her so bad but he didn't want to push her if she wasn't ready.

"It's perfectly okay." She told him lovingly reaching out for his tee shirt and pulling him towards her.

"One thing you should know before we do this." He told her as he pulled her ponytail holder out of her hair causing her curls to fall. He gently ran his fingers through her hair, still wet from her shower.

"What's that?" She asked pulling his tee shirt up over his head.

"I need you to know that I love you so much Janet Meadows." He whispered huskily.

"I do know that Eddie. I really do." He smiled at her. "I love you too." This time she took his hand and led her to the bed. She turned the bed down and pulled him down on top of her. Within minutes their clothes were gone and his mouth was on her breasts. They tasted so soft, just like he thought they would. As his tongue began to circle her nipples she moaned and pushed his head against her breast. He quickly realized that she was not afraid to tell him what she wanted from him and that turned him on immensely. When he couldn't take it any longer he easily spread her legs with his knee and he slid inside her, eliciting a groan from both of them. He fit so perfectly inside of her, nothing ever felt so right before.

"Eddie…honey this really ain't working for me." Since he pushed into her he hadn't moved his penis at all. In fact the only thing he was moving was his lips on top of hers.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. I just want to remember this feeling for the rest of my life." Janet had never heard anything so sweet before. It actually brought tears to her eyes.

"Then take your time." For the next few minutes he continued to kiss her. He had never kissed a woman so much during sex before and he didn't want to stop, ever. He loved kissing her. He loved the how soft her lips were, he loved how her tongue sought out every crevice inside of his mouth. She was a great kisser, the best he had ever encountered. Knowing he wasn't being fair to her finally began to move inside of her with long smooth strokes. She automatically wrapped her legs around his waist encouraging him to thrust deeper within her. He drew out their lovemaking for over an hour and when they finally climaxed it was the most intense orgasm that either of them had ever experienced.

"What happened to your hand?" They were relaxing in bed, kissing and cuddling. While Janet was kissing his hand she noticed a bruise on the top of his hand.

"I need to show you something." He told her.

"Eddie, what happened to your hand?" She repeated as he got out of bed, walked naked over to his jeans, pulled something out of the pocket and then climbed back into bed.

"Can you turn on the light?" He asked her since the lamp was on her side of the bed. She pulled her tee shirt off of the lamp, where it had landed when he tossed it, pulled it over her head and switched on the lamp. She saw that he was holding a piece of paper in his hand and she also noticed a second bruise on his arm, this one on the inside of his elbow, a common place where blood is drawn.

"Eddie what the hell happened to your arm?"

"Let me show you this first and then I'll explain about my arm." She sighed irritably. "Work with me here, please?" She nodded. "While I was out of town I had some time to think about everything that I hadn't done yet in my life. I'm thirty years old and I haven't even begun to live. There are so many things that I want to do before I die and I want do them with you."

"I don't know what to say." She was so confused

"Here I made a to do list. Look at it." He handed her the folded up piece of paper. She slowly unfolded it.

_1. Go to Vegas and WIN_

_2. See Wayne Newton in concert_

_3. Take a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon then hike to the bottom and camp out and make love to Janet under the stars_

_4. Go whitewater rafting_

_5. Go bungee jumping_

_6. Learn to surf_

_7. Run the bases at Fenway Park_

_a plane_

_9. Go to the veterans wall in DC and visit the Smithsonian_

_10. Make love to Janet on the beach of the Pacific Ocean all night, as the waves wash over us until the sun rises_

Besides the fact that number three and number ten caused her to blush she had no idea what to think of this list. "Wow, this is interesting." She didn't know what else to say.

"I thought that next weekend you could take off work and we could go to Vegas because if we could win some money first then I can afford the rest of my list. Since we will already be in Vegas we can see Wayne Newton. From there we can go to the Grand Canyon and then we can go the Pacific Ocean and make love on the beach and I can learn to surf." He said excitedly.

"Eddie I hardly think I can get off work on a weekend. It's the start of the playoffs so you know that Sully's will be packed. Let's take some time and plan out an awesome vacation when we both can afford it and we don't have to rely on winning in Vegas." She didn't understand why he was rushing.

"I can't wait." He said softly.

"Why? Is Wayne retiring?" She joked. He reached out and took her hand. He looked so sad and serious that it scared her. "Eddie what the hell is going on?" She whispered fearfully.

"Janet I have brain cancer and I'm dying." He told her gravely.

"I...What…How…How long?"

"Six months. I'll be dead in six months."

"Oh my God."


	2. Chapter 2

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

Janet felt her eyes fill with tears. "Is this a joke? Is this your way of breaking up with me because if it is it is a real shitty way to do it? I don't want to see you anymore or even you repulse me would be easier then this." She snapped. Her words stung and brought tears to his eyes. He reached out for her but she pulled away from him.

"I swear this is not a joke." He whispered thickly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Janet I…"

"How could you make love to me and not tell me?"

"I wanted you to be able to make love to me at least one time without my death sentence

running through you mind. I wanted to give that memory."

"You sure have a shitty way of ruining that memory. Why is it okay for you to be able to think about dying but not me?"

"Trust me, you were the only thing on my mind." He tried reach for her again but this time she got out of bed and pulled on her robe. "Janet?"

"I'm sorry Eddie but I need to be alone right now. You've given me a lot to think about."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No. Just give me time to process."

"Whatever you need." She walked over, gently kissed him and then left the room.

Watching Janet walk out of her room he hated himself. He wanted their first time making love to be wonderful and it was. He had never experienced anything so sweet and tender before. He never knew that making love could be so great and he went and blew it by telling her that he was going to die. His instinct was to run to her and beg her to forgive him but he knew that she needed time alone and if he went now he would push her away for good so he laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling imagining what his life would have been like had he been given the chance to live and grow old with Janet.

Meanwhile Janet grabbed a blanket from the couch and went outside on her porch swing. It was slightly chilly but the blanket should keep her warm. As soon as she was situated on the swing she allowed her tears to fall. She didn't want to cry in front of Eddie, he didn't need the added stress of watching her cry. She couldn't believe this was happening to them. He was such a good man who didn't deserve to die so young. She had known for a long time that life was cruel but this was beyond cruel. They just found each other and now they were being torn apart and there wasn't a damn thing that she could do to stop it. It was just her luck that the man she had been crushing on for years finally sees her as something more then the chubby bartender, they fall in love and he gets a cancerous brain tumor that's going to kill him.

She knew, without a doubt that she would stay with Eddie as long as he needed her, until he took his last breath, if he wanted her to. She was just terrified that she wouldn't be strong enough to support him. She was a very emotional person by nature and the last thing he needed from her was tears so she decided to do the one thing she was confident in. She would love him with everything that she had inside of her. She heard him shuffling around in the living room and she knew he would be coming out to join her shortly so she took a deep breath and wiped away her tears just as the door to the porch opened.

"Care for some company?" She scooted over to one end of the swing and held her blanket open, inviting him to join her. He walked out of the house wearing nothing but a pair of jeans, and gratefully sat beside her. He placed his arm around her shoulder and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Tell me what happened this weekend." She demanded.

"On Friday after you left I went over to my parents to help my dad with the bathroom. The headache that I had when you left kept getting worse no matter how many pain relievers that I took. It got to the point that I couldn't stand or see. Dad found me on the bathroom floor, barley conscious from the pain and they rushed me to the ER. When I got there they gave me some Demerol, which is really great shit by the way. Once the pain wasn't so debilitating they started doing a bunch of tests and that's when they found the masses in my brain. They transferred me to Boston for more tests. Since it was after midnight when I got to Boston they didn't start the tests until Saturday and by the afternoon the doctor was telling me that the MRI showed three cancerous tumors in my brain and I have maybe six months to live"

"Can't they do surgery?" He shook his head.

"They are inoperable. According to the doctor they aren't in the best spot to get at and even if they could get to it the tumor has worked its way into my brain tissue so if they tried to get it they would have to penetrate the tissue and that would kill me."

"What about chemo or radiation?"

"That is an option."

"Then why the hell aren't you taking it?"

"Because Janet, it won't save my life. If I did get chemo or radiation I would be lucky if it gave me another month or two."

"But it's another month or two that you will be alive."

"If I get the chemo or radiation I'll be sick. I'll be puking all the time, I'll lose weight, and I'll go bald. I love my hair too much to go bald." She sent him a glare. "Seriously, I'm going to die. There is nothing that I can do to stop it and I don't want to spend my last few months sick. I want to enjoy what time I have left and I want to enjoy it with you, the woman I love."

"Without any treatment how bad will it get?" She whispered fearfully

"It depends on if it spreads or not. As of yesterday the cancer hadn't spread anywhere else but the tumors in my head are aggressive bastards who love to travel. I'm going to have to get weekly body scans to see if it spreads or not. If it spreads then I guess it depends on where it spreads to as to how bad it could get. If doesn't spread then we only have to worry about how it affects my brain. I'm going to continue to get headaches, bad ones. I'm probably going to get seizures. Depending on how big those bastards grow will depend on what part of my brain is affected but Dr. Turner said from it's current location I can expect to lose some of my memories and I may lose some of my body functions like walking, shit like that."

"What do you mean by lose your memories?"

"When the end comes I may not know who you, my parents, Katie or the guys are." Eddie felt Janet shudder so he tightened his grip on her shoulder.

"Who knows?"

"You, mom, dad and Katie." Katie was Eddie's younger sister. "I talked to her today and she will be here in a couple of weeks. She was going to come right away but I told her not to bother cause my girl and I would hopefully be in Vegas."

"When are you going to tell the guys?"

"Tomorrow night after they get off work." She lifted her head off of his shoulder to look at him. She could see the pain in his eyes and she knew that he had another headache.

"Come on, I know you have a headache. Do you have something for it?" He nodded. Janet stood, grabbed the blanket and pulled him to his feet. While she replaced the blanket back on the couch Eddie returned to Janet's bedroom.

"Can you bring me a glass of water?" He yelled. She walked in the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. When she returned to the bedroom she found him in obvious pain, struggling with a pill bottle. She walked over and took the bottle from him and opened it.

"How many?"

"Two please." She dropped two Percocet into his palm and he quickly swallowed them.

"What are all of these for?" She motioned to all of the pill bottles that had taken up residence on her nightstand.

"I've got an iron pill, a pill for nausea, two pills to help prevent seizures, an anti-inflammatory, a minor pain pill and a major pain pill."

"Come on. Let's go to bed."

"I can't sleep yet. The pain is to bad and the meds hasn't kicked in yet."

"I'll hold you until you do." They crawled into bed. Janet propped herself up with pillows and Eddie laid her head on her abdomen. "Are you scared?" She whispered, running her fingers gently through his hair. She felt him nod.

"Terrified."

"Of what?"

"Of not being with you." She chocked back a sob.

"You'll never be without me, even after you die you will own my heart. I'm not going anywhere Eddie Latekka."

"I love you Janet." He mumbled sleepily. She leaned forward and gently kissed his forehead.

"I love you too. Now sleep." A few minutes later he was snoring softly. Janet spent the rest of the night staring at Eddie, memorizing every perfect detail of his face, not falling asleep until the son began to rise.

--

When Eddie awoke the next morning the pain from his headache was gone. He couldn't believe that he slept all night on her lap and she slept sitting up. He pulled himself out of bed and then he laid her down. She mumbled incoherently as he kissed her cheek. He grabbed his morning pills and headed down to the kitchen. He wasn't hungry, he was convinced that the cancer was killing his appetite but he couldn't take his pills on an empty stomach. He threw some bread into the toaster when his cell phone rang.

"Hey mom."

"Hi honey. How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Headaches or seizures?"

"Headache last night but I'm fine this morning." His toast popped up from the toaster and he shoved the entire piece in him mouth.

"Did you take your meds?"

"Hmmm." He mumbled with a mouthful.

"Eddie I did not raise a cow. Don't talk with your mouth full." He quickly slowed the toast, tossed the pills in his mouth and took a swig of water to wash it all down.

"I just took them."

"Did you tell her?" Laura asked him softly.

"I did."

"And?"

"She was mad at first but she told me that she would be with me until the end. Mom, am I being fair to her, asking her to stay with me and watch me die?"

"Does she love you Eddie?"

"She says she does."

"Then it's her choice. If she didn't want to stay then she wouldn't."

"I'm going to call the lawyer and make some other appointments. Care to be my taxi?" Dr. Turner wasn't letting him drive because of the seizures that he could start having at anytime.

"Of course. Just let me know when you need me."

"I'll call you later." After he hung up with his mom he began to make some phone calls. He needed to see his lawyer so he could make will. He needed to see a realtor about selling his house. He hated to kick Phil out but he didn't have much choice. He would just make sure he would do whatever he could to help him through this change. He also needed to go to the bank. He was going to close out his savings account and his retirement account since he wasn't going to make it until he retired. He was going to use that money to pay for everything that he wanted to do on his list and to help Janet out since she was going to have to take time off work to go with him. He just hung up with his mom again when Janet walked into the kitchen. He immediately walked over and kissed her.

"Morning gorgeous." He whispered huskily in her ear.

"Good morning. How's your head?"

"Perfect. How's your back from sleeping sitting up all damn night?"

"It's fine. Are you hungry?"

"I had a piece of toast."

"That's it?"

"Not really hungry."

"Oh right."

"Can we talk?" She nodded and they sat down at the table. "Since I don't have much time left I want to spend as much of it as I can with you so I was wondering if I could stay here with you?" She stood up and kissed him passionately. "Is that a yes?" He asked breathlessly when they broke apart.

"That was most definitely a yes," She told him with a grin.

--

"Eddie what the hell goes on?" Nick asked once all the guys had gathered at his soon to be former home. "You disappeared for three days without a single word to anyone, not even Janet. Did she dump your sorry ass or something?"

"No dipshit Janet didn't dump me. For your information we are still together and in love." The guys busted out laughing.

"Eddie Latekka is in love?" Owen asked when he finally stopped laughing. "Does Janet know this?"

"Yes Janet knows. I told her on Friday and she told me she feels the same way."

"You're serious?" Ikey asked

"Dead serious." His best friends have no idea how true that statement really was.

"Wow. That's a switch. Good for you man." Phil congratulated his friend.

"That still doesn't explain where the hell you took off to." Nick snapped.

"I was in Boston."

"What were you doing in Boston without us?" Ikey asked

"Trust me, you wouldn't of had much fun."

"Eddie just tell us." Phil said.

"I was in the hospital."

"Is someone sick? Is it Katie or your parents?" Owen asked him.

"Yeah. Someone is sick." Eddie answered and his friends just looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "It's me. I'm sick. I'm actually dying." Their first instinct was that he was joking with them but the look on his face told them he was telling the truth.

"Do you have AIDS?" Ikey asked. Given his past indiscretions this question was a logical assumption. Eddie was neither hurt nor surprised by it.

"I wish it was then at least I would have more time." He told them sadly. "I have brain cancer. I've got about six months to live. Now before you ask they can't operate and yes there is treatment but I'm choosing not to receive it but it won't save my life. It will just make me sick and I'm not spending what time I have left feeling like shit." His friends sat in silence. Eddie saw the looks of pain that crossed his friend's faces'. Owen stood and walked out of the house.

"How long have you known?" Phil whispered.

"Three days."

"Does Janet know?"

"Of course Janet knows. She's been great. I made of list of things I want to do before I die and she's going to help me complete my list."

"Things like what?" Ikey asked

"Going to Vegas, seeing Wayne Newton, flying over the Grand Canyon and hiking down to the bottom, learning to surf, fly a plane."

"What about us? Why don't you want us there with you?" Nick asked sounding somewhat hurt.

"I do want you guys there and you will be. There are some things that only my boys and I can do but I'm going to be honest I want to spend as much time with Janet as I can. You guys have had the first twenty some years of my last and I want to give the last few months to Janet since that's all I can give her and besides I really don't have any desire to make love to any of your morons."

"Thank God." Ikey quipped.

"Now Nicky, I'm obviously not going to come back to work." Nick nodded. "I would recommend that you hire Ikey fulltime. I'm still working with my lawyer on the best way to handle my half of the business."

"Until you decide what to do you'll still get your half of the profits." Nick told his friend.

"Phyz I have some bad news for you. I'm going to have to sell the house. I'll do whatever you need me to do to help you find your own place and get you there." He thought Phil was going to lose it but he remained calm.

"I'll buy the house."

"Excuse me? How the hell can you afford to buy a house when you never leave the house?"

"My website development is becoming very lucrative. I've got great credit and I can get a loan."

"Phil instead of buying the house maybe you could use this as an opportunity to get out of the house."

"I'm going to use this to get out of the house. I'm not going to sit around in this house waiting for my best friend to die. I'm going to be there for you. I want to buy this house because it is yours. We have lived together for years, I have so many memories of us and the guys here and after you're gone it won't seem right to have a stranger living here." His comments brought tears to Eddie's eyes.

"I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for. If you leave the house before your ready it could be worse for you then it is now. Nothing, not even my death is worth that." Over the years Eddie had done research on his friend's condition and he knew that if Phil forced himself out of the house too soon then he may never get out of the house and he didn't want that on his dying conscious.

"I'm ready Eddie. I think I've been ready for a while and now you've given me the motivation that I've needed. Now don't expect me to walk out of this door tomorrow but soon, I promise you my friend I will walk out of here." Phil told him.

"So what happens now?" Nick asked.

"Before I tell you all of the nasty details, I want to get Owen back in here." Eddie stood and went outside where he found Owen sitting on the steps. This was the second conversation that he had about his death outside, on a porch. Eddie sat next to his friend and waited for Owen to say something.

"It's not fair Eddie." Owen finally said

"You'll get no argument from me."

"How can you be so calm? Why aren't you furious? Why aren't you crying? I'm furious and I'm crying and I'm not the one who's dying."

"I was furious and I cried when I first was told but the hell is the point now O? If I lay down on my bed and sob or start punching holes in walls it won't change a damn thing, it won't make dying and leaving everyone any easier. So instead of pouting and feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to enjoy what time I have left."

"Eddie, you're the glue that holds all of us together. It's because of you that we all are friends. You were the best man at my wedding. You gave Ikey a job. You're the reason Nick came back home. You took care of Phil, no questions asked on your own. What happens when you die? I'll not only lose my best friend but all of my friends." All of the guys considered Eddie to be their best friend.

"That's bullshit Big O. We are all so tight. When Nicky took off we nothing happened to our friendship. What we all have, it's cemented. Nothing will ever break us apart, not even my death. You guys will be fine without me. It'll be hard but you guys will need to take care of each other and in the end you're friendship will be stronger because of my death."

"I hate this." Owen mumbled,

"Join the club. At least you were able to fall in love, get married and have a family. I finally fall in love and get diagnosed with cancer. I won't be able to marry Janet or have my own family. Treasure that Owen. You have no idea how lucky you are." Eddie said wistfully. It was the first time he admitted out loud how much he regretted not being able to marry Janet.

"I do know how lucky I am man. I'm so sorry that you won't be able to experience it."

"No use feeling sorry for myself." Eddie stood. "Come on, let's get back to my death party." Owen stood.

"Not funny." He snapped.

"Come on man, if I can't laugh about my upcoming demise what the hell can I laugh at?"

--

"How did the guys take it?" Janet asked him later that night.

"As well as can be expected." He placed his suitcases on the floor in her bedroom.

"I cleared out some closet space and some drawers for your things." She went over and grabbed one of his suitcases but he placed his hand over her wrist.

"We can do that later." She placed the suitcase back on the floor as Eddie turned her around. "I would much rather make love to you instead of unpacking."

"I think that can be arranged." Smiling shyly, Janet pushed her insecurities deep inside and removed her shirt and bra. Seeing the look of pure desire that crossed his face as his eyes roamed over her chest encouraged her to continue undressing. She slowly pulled her pants and underwear off. She stood there awkwardly while his eyes traveled up and down her body.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." He whispered huskily.

"Thank you." She said tearfully. Taking a half step he was placing his lips hard against hers. "You Mr. Latekka, still have way too many clothes on." She said breathlessly when they broke apart.

"Damn straight." He quickly removed his clothes while Janet lay on the bed. As soon as he was naked he crawled on top of her. He began kissing her gently while she spread her legs, granting him access.

"I love you Janet." He whispered as he slid inside of her.

"I love you too." She answered, wrapping her legs around his waist.

They made love slowly and tenderly whispering words of love into the darkness. When they reached their orgasm they both had tears streaming down their faces. When Eddie pulled out he rolled over and brought her with him.

"Eddie I'm too…" He placed a finger over her lips.

"It's perfect."

"I should get off."

"I believe you already did." He laughed when she turned red. "Please, stay like this. I want to be close to you."

"Are you sure?" He pulled her face down to his and kissed her softly.

"I'm sure." She scooted down and placed her head on his shoulder, in the crook of his neck. He pulled the blankets over them and wrapped his arms tightly around her. He ran his fingers through her curls until he felt her breathing even out. He lifted his head and kissed her forehead. "Sleep tight my love." He whispered lovingly.

_**Thanks so much for reading. Please review with your thoughts.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Maybe I should have mentioned this earlier but I'm not to keen on flying." Janet mumbled. She and Eddie were sitting in the airport terminal waiting to board their flight to Vegas. Over the past week Eddie divided his time between his parents, friends and Janet. His friends wanted to be with Eddie as much as they could but they understood that he needed to be with Janet. He had gotten his whole body scan yesterday and an hour before they left for the airport his doctor called them and told him that his cancer had not spread, a small victory for Eddie.

"Don't worry. I'll keep you safe." He joked and she sent him a glare.

"If a giant few thousand ton plane decides to crash there isn't a damn thing you can do about it."

"It won't crash babe." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his well-worn list and handed it to her. "Here, I made some changes to my list. Take a look at it." Taking a deep breath to keep her tears from falling she opened the paper.

_1. Go to Vegas and Win_

_2. See Wayne Newton in concert_

_3. Get a tattoo_

_4. Go whitewater rafting_

_5. Go bungee jumping_

_6. Learn to surf_

_7. Run the bases at Fenway Park_

_8. Fly a plane_

_9. Go to the veteran's wall and the Smithsonian in DC_

_10. Watch a sunset with Janet, stay out all night and then watch the sun rise in the morning_

_11. Join the mile high club_

"What happened to the Grand Canyon?" She asked him

"I though about it and it was something that I wanted to do but not something that I have to do before I die. I can look at pictures on the Internet and get the same view. I also figured that a hike to the bottom was a little risky cause if I got a headache halfway down, I was screwed."

"You don't have a tattoo?"

"You've seen me naked Janet." He said somewhat loudly causing a few people to glance their way, which caused her to turn red. "Do I have a tattoo?"

"No I guess not. I guess I'm just surprised that you don't already have one. Why don't you have one?"

"I don't know. I guess that I always thought that there would be more time. Why don't you have a tattoo?"

"I can't think of anything that I like well enough that I want to permanently place on my body. What kind of tattoo do you want?"

"I haven't decided yet. Do you wanna get one with me?"

"No way buster." He looked crestfallen so she leaned over and quickly kissed his lips. "Now did you bring someone along to help you with your mile high club aspirations?"

"I'm looking at her."

"No way in hell am I having sex with you on a plane."

"Please?" He gave her a puppy dog look and she almost caved.

"Not happening stud."

"Are you really going to deny a dying man his wish?"

"That's not funny Eddie." She snapped. Although she knew making jokes was his way of dealing with his death she hated it. Before he could respond the boarding call went over the loudspeaker. They both stood and boarded their plane in silence. Neither of them spoke until the plane was in the air.

"Are you okay?" He whispered.

"I'm fine." He knew she wasn't fine. He knew that she was pissed about the dying man crack he made be he couldn't help himself. He leaned over and placed kisses on her neck while his hand rested on her inner thigh, under her skirt. "Eddie." She protested weakly.

"I'm sorry I upset you."

"I'm not upset."

"Are you sure?" She nodded. "Okay. I'm going to get some sleep."

"I love you."

"I love you too." He settled back on his seat and closed his eyes.

While Eddie attempted to sleep Janet was wide- awake thinking of how she hurt him. When she told him that she wouldn't join the mile high club she was just playing hard to get but he had to pull the dying man card and it just pissed her off. Pushing her anger deep inside she decided to help him accomplish what was on his list. She placed her hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently and he opened his eyes.

"I have to go to the bathroom." She placed her hand on his inner thigh and gently rubbed. Winking she stood and headed to the bathroom. Once the door was locked she slipped off her underwear, thankful she chose to wear a skirt. After a few minutes of anxious waiting she heard a knock on the door. Leaning forward from her spot on the sink she turned the lock and Eddie walked in wearing a huge toothless smile locking the door behind him. Placing his hands on her thighs he leaned forward and kissed her hard on the mouth his hands slowly traveling up until he met with her underwear free hot and wet center. He groaned when his fingers made contact.

"God woman, you're not wearing any underwear."

"I took them off when I came in here." Her fingers unbuckled his belt; she unzipped his pants and pushed them off of his hips along with his boxers. He pushed her skirt up her thighs, grabbed her legs, pulled her to the very edge of the sink, spread her legs and he pushed himself into her with one swift smooth stroke. "This is so damn uncomfortable." She said laughing between strokes. With every stroke he pushed her lower back into the faucet. "You so owe me."

"Damn right I do." He grunted. A few thrusts later he had emptied himself inside of her and for the first time in their relationship she did not have an orgasm. "Baby, I'm sorry." It was really bothering him that she didn't get a release like he did. She reached out and cupped his face in her hands.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't you. It was the faucet being jammed into my lower back that put a damper on my mood." She quickly kissed him. "Now pull your pants up and get back to your seat before people become suspicious." He quickly did as he was told.

"I will make it up to you." He promised.

"Damn right you will baby." This time he winked at her and slipped out of the bathroom, leaving her to clean herself up.

Five minutes later she returned to her seat, a slight blush covering her cheeks because she swore people were staring at her. "What took you so long sweetheart?" He asked her loudly.

"I'm going to kill you." She muttered under her breath and he laughed.

"Did I hurt you?" He turned serious.

"Nothing a massage won't fix."

"You've got it." He pulled his list out his list and crossed off number 11. "Ten more things to do. Now we are going to stay in Vegas for four days unless we lose all of our money tonight then we can go home early. When we leave Vegas we will fly to West Virginia where I booked us a one-day rafting trip. The day after our trip I got us scheduled for bungee jumping off of a bridge into a lake." His eyes were sparkling with excitement and it was rubbing off on Janet. "After we jump off a bridge we will end our trip in D.C. where we will stay a couple of days taking in the sights."

"We are going to be busy for the next couple of weeks. What happened to surfing and making love in the Pacific Ocean?"

"I know you Janet and I can't imagine you willingly making love in the sand, in public." He knew her very well. "As far as the surfing goes there is an indoor water park in Boston that have this simulation surfing thing. I want to take the guys with me and spend a day there."

"I think that it will be perfect. Just remember that there will be children present." He burst out laughing.

"We'll be good sweetheart." He reached out and took her hand. When he looked at her his eyes were full of unshed tears.

"Thank you Janet for helping me complete my list." She nodded because she could not speak over the lump in her throat. "I love you."

"Oh Eddie, I love you too."

--

When they arrived in Vegas they went straight to their hotel. Eddie had booked them at The New York New York hotel. Neither of them had experienced anything like this before and they were both a little shell-shocked but excited as hell.

"I feel like I'm New York City." Janet told him as they waited in line to check in.

"I think that's why they named it the New York New York." He quipped with a grin and she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Smart ass." She whispered as they stepped up to the desk.

"Welcome to The New York New York. How may I help you?"

"We have a reservation for Latekka." Eddie said happily. The woman at the desk typed in a few commands on her computer, walked over to a file, grabbed an envelope and then returned to Eddie and Janet and handed them a key.

"You will be in room 5436." She slid the envelope across the desk. "These are the tickets for the seven o'clock Wayne Newton concert that you ordered. We provide a shuttle to the concerts that leaves an hour before every show. It's a free service provided to guests of our hotel. Just show your room key and you'll be all set. Now would you like a bellman to assist you with your luggage?"

"No thanks. We can handle it."

"Enjoy your stay." Eddie grabbed their key and tickets off of the desk; they both grabbed their suitcases and headed to their room.

"Wow." Janet breathed as she looked around their exquisite room. "This is beautiful. Eddie, it must of cost a fortune. Maybe we could get a cheaper room." Eddie walked over and took her hands.

"I know you're worried about the money but don't. I have it all under control."

"I'm not worried about money."

"Janet I've seen you critically examining your checkbook and I know that taking this trip is going to cause some financial strain for you because you aren't working but don't worry about that because I'm going to take care of you. I have a credit card with an insane limit that I'm going to max out. I've cleaned out my savings and retirement account since I'm not going to see my retirement and pretty soon I'll have the money from selling my house and when I'm gone my life insurance can pay off my credit card."

"I can take care of myself."

"Janet I know how damn stubborn and independent you are, it's one of the things that I love about you so quit being stubborn and let me take care of you. Your willingness to drop everything and be with me until the end means so much to me. You've let me move in with you and obviously you're grocery and utilities will go up and that's because of me."

"I can handle my bills."

"Janet, sweetheart I believe that you can but it's going to be hard, especially when you get your paycheck after missing all of these shifts because of this trip. I love you Janet and I want to take care of you in every way. Will you let me do this?" She nodded. "Good, I'm going to start now." He pressed his lips to hers while pushing her back onto the bed. He easily pushed her skirt up, lifted her ass off of the bed and slipped her underwear off. "Time to give you what I didn't earlier." He sat on his knees and lifted her legs onto his shoulders.

"Eddie…I…" She had suddenly become very nervous because no one had ever gone down on her before.

"Just relax sweetheart and let me take care of you." He placed his lips on her inner thigh and planted small soft kissed up her thigh until he reached her core. She began to squirm when he found and began to suck her clit. The sounds that were coming out of her mouth were primal and it was turning him on. When he placed his tongue inside of her she bucked her hips and almost knocked him off of his knees and onto his ass. He almost came in his pants when he glanced up between her legs and saw that her eyes were closed, she had unbuttoned her shirt, pulled a breast out of the cup that was holding it and her fingers were gently caressing it. He quickly increased the speed of his tongue, lapping up all of her sweet juices. When she finally climaxed in his mouth he held her legs tightly to his shoulders until her tremors subsided.

"Eddie…that was…wow." She panted breathlessly as he placed her legs back on the bed. Smiling he leaned down and kissed her lips in a sweet gentle kiss. When she tasted herself on his lips her hips involuntarily arched towards his. "Make love to me." She whispered when they broke apart. Eddie Latekka did not need to be asked twice. Smiling he sat back on his knees, pulled her skirt and his tee shirt off. He quickly climbed off of the bed and yanked his pants and boxers off while she tossed her shirt and bra across the room. In ten seconds he was back in bed and on top of her kissing and sliding inside of her. "I love you." She told him.

"Oh sweetheart, I love you too." He returned his lips to hers and they made love slowly and tenderly until both of their bodies were convulsing in sweet release.

"So are you ready to go gambling?" She asked planting soft kisses on his chest.

"You wore me out babe. I think I need a nap." She knew it was the cancer, not the sex that wore him out. "I just need a couple of hours and then I'll be good as new and we'll go lose all of our money."

"Or win some." She said grinning.

"You can go start now if you want." He said yawning.

"No, I want to wait for you."

"I like that." He wrapped his arm around her while she laid her head on his chest, running her fingers through his chest hair. He was snoring softly in less then five minutes and she followed suit ten minutes later.

--

After they woke up from their naps they took a shower together and then headed down to the main floor of their hotel. They found a restaurant and grabbed a late lunch/early dinner and then they hit the casino.

"So what do you want to do first?" He asked her.

"It's your list Eddie so it's up to you."

"Let's start with Roulette." He grabbed her hand and led her across the casino to The Roulette table. "Okay baby what number should I bet on?" He asked her.

"What if the number I pick doesn't win?"

"It's Vegas. I'm not supposed to win so pick me a number."

"Okay black 14."

"You heard the lady twenty on black 14." He laid the chip down and the game started. They both watched as the marble went around and around and to both of their surprise it landed on black 14."You did it J." He cheered, planting a big sloppy kiss on her mouth.

"Unbelievable." She said in amazement. "It must have been a fluke." Eddie collected his winnings and made her pick again but they weren't as lucky this time or the next three times. "I'm sorry." She mumbled as they walked away.

"Don't be sorry. Its just money and I expected to lose a shit load of it. Come on, let's lose some more on blackjack." The spent the next two hours traveling around the casino playing card games and the slot machines winning some but losing a lot more but they sure had fun doing it. At six o'clock they were on the shuttle van on their way to see Wayne Newton. Eddie talked like an excited child the entire ride and Janet just smiled and let him have his fun.

During the concert Eddie stared at the stage and snag along to all of the songs while Janet just watched him watching the show. She didn't understand why he was so fascinated with Wayne Newton. In all of the years that knew each other he never mentioned anything about being a Wayne Newton fan. "Isn't he amazing." He whispered several times to her during the show and she just smiled and nodded. She was just happy that he was enjoying himself.

"That was so freaking awesome." He told her after the curtain went down. "Thanks for coming with you."

"It was my pleasure."

"You are such a liar." He accused when they got outside.

"I'm not lying. It may not have been my favorite activity but you had fun and that's all that matters to me."

"You are too sweet." When they got to the van he stopped her from getting on. "Let's walk."

"Eddie our hotel is miles from here and Las Vegas isn't the safest place to walk around at night."

"We're on The Strip around thousands of people. We'll be fine and I don't want to walk all the way back to our hotel. I'm not that crazy. The dancing fountain thing isn't far from here and they run a show every half hour. Once we see the show we'll catch a cab back to our hotel."

"You're up for walking?" She stared at him, looking for any signs of a headache but she saw none.

"I'm fine. Come on." They linked hands and joined the throngs of people out walking and enjoying Las Vegas. "Isn't this place amazing?" He asked her.

"I've never seen anything like it. So out with it, what is up with you and Wayne Newton? I never knew that you liked him."

"I grew up listening to him."

"Really?"

"Mom and dad played him all of the time."

"You're parents are fans?"

"They are. Mom and dad met at a Wayne Newton concert their first night in town. They both were in Vegas with friends and they ended up sitting beside each other at the concert. They started talking during intermission and they quickly realized that they lived near each other. Mom lived in The Ridge and dad lived in Myersville. They spent the rest of the week together and on their last day in town they headed to an Elvis wedding chapel and got married. To celebrate they went back to where it started to another Wayne Newton concert and rumor has it that I was conceived after that second concert."

"Oh my God. That is so romantic. I can't believe that they only knew each other for a week before they got married and they are still married thirty years later. No one really falls in love and stays in love like that anymore." She said wistfully.

Eddie didn't respond. He was afraid that if he did he would burst into tears and he refused to cry in the middle of The Las Vegas Strip. Instead of speaking he just squeezed her hand tightly and they finished their walk in silence until the reached the fountain.

"Are you okay Eddie?" She asked softly.

"Janet I know that the love that I feel for you would have lasted the test of time. I know that I will love you for the rest of my life which is only for a few more months but even if I didn't have this death sentence hanging over me I know that our love would have been like my parents, something that would last for years and years." Damn it, he could have kicked himself. He made her cry and that was something he did not want this to happen during this trip. Using his thumb he wiped the tears from her cheek. "I'm sorry that I won't be able to give my love to you for more than a few short months." Without saying a word she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head in his shoulder and he just wrapped his arms around her back and he held her tightly. "Are you okay sweetheart?" He whispered in her ear and she nodded, never lifting her head off of his shoulder. "The show is about to start." She slowly lifted her head off of his shoulder. He turned her around so she could relax against his chest and he weaved his arms around her and linked his hands together, resting them on her stomach and his head on her shoulder.

"This is beautiful." Janet said softly.

"Absolutely." He responded looking at the woman in his arms.

They reluctantly broke apart towards the end of the show so they could join the rest of the crowd in the applause during the finale. When it was over he started to lead her over to the edge of the sidewalk to catch a cab but she stopped him.

"I'm not ready to go back to the hotel yet. Can we sit here for a few minutes?" She asked him.

"Sure." She took his hand and led him over to a bench near a fountain. He sat first and she sat on his lap. She snaked her arm around his neck and kissed him passionately. "Wow." He said breathlessly when they broke apart. "That was hot."

"Eddie I'm helping you complete your list of things to do before you die and now there is something that I want you to do for me before you die."

"Anything you want sweetheart."

"Good." She took a deep breath before uttering the words that would quite possibly change her life forever, hopefully for the better. "Eddie Latekka, I want you to marry me."

_**Thanks for reading. Please, please review with your thoughts.**_


	4. Chapter 4

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

Eddie sat on the bench, surrounded by the beautiful Las Vegas scenery with the woman he loved sitting on his lap, dumbfounded. "Janet I…umm…I…What?" He could not believe that Janet had just asked him to marry her. He never, in a million years would have thought that she would be the one to propose.

"Eddie I want to marry you." She could feel her confidence fading.

"You know I love you more than anything right?" He softly asked her with tears forming in his eyes. She nodded, to afraid to speak. "Sweetheart I can't marry you."

"But…"She had to take a deep breath to keep from sobbing. "But you just said that you loved me more than anything."

"That's exactly why I can't marry you."

"You're not making any sense."

"I can't marry you knowing that I'm going to make you widow in a few months." He snapped.

"That's ridiculous." She snapped back. "Widow is just a word Eddie. When you die, married or not it's still going to hurt like hell because I love you."

"It's won't be fair to you. You deserve to marry someone that can spend a lifetime loving you, not the few months that I have to give."

"I am so tired of people telling me what I do and do not deserve. I deserved to be married to someone that loves me with his whole heart. That someone is you Eddie Latekka or at least that's what I thought and that's why I asked you to marry me." She stood from his lap and went to the curb to hail a cab with him following meekly behind her.

They got into a cab and rode in silence back to the hotel, each of them staring out their respective windows with tears rolling down their cheeks. Janet's reasons for getting married made sense to him but he just couldn't bring himself to say yes and he had no idea why because he truly did love her.

When they got back to the hotel they continued in silence up to their room. As soon as they walked in Janet grabbed something to sleep in and headed straight for the bathroom while Eddie sat alone in the bed feeling like an ass and he just felt worse when he heard her crying from the other side of the door. He slowly made his way over to the bathroom and knocked softly on the door. "Janet sweetheart?"

"Go away." She yelled.

"Please." He begged. "We need to talk about this." Suddenly the door flew open and she stormed out fury burning in her blue eyes.

"I think you have said all that needs to be said." She fumed. "Apparently I am good enough to help you complete your list and screw but I'm not good enough to marry."

"JANET" He shouted, furious with her that she said such horrible things. "That is not true."

"Well that's what it sounds like to me. You asked me to be with you so you could complete your list and die happy but when I ask you to give me one thing to hold on to after you're gone – one thing that will make me happier than I have ever been I can't help but feel that all I am is your friend with benefits." He walked over and tried to take her hand but she stormed away from him.

"Janet you are not just a friend with benefits. I love you so damn much that it hurts."

"Then why won't you marry me?" She whispered tearfully.

"Sweetheart, marriage should be a happy time. Do you really want your first marriage to be sad and miserable?"

"How can I be sad and miserable with you?"

"I'm dying Janet. How happy can you be with my death looming over you?"

"I'll be happy because I'm with you. With this list of yours you made the choice to make the most of the time you had left. You could have chosen chemo and lived those extra few months and been sick but instead you chose to end your life happy. I had a choice too Eddie. I could have chosen to walk away from you but I didn't. When you die it's going to be the worst day of my life and even though I know how badly it's going to hurt I want to stay with you because it makes me happy but being married to you would make me even happier. Eddie when your gone I want the memory of our wedding. When I start to really miss you I want to pull out a photo album and remember the happiest day of my life." He began to sob quietly. "When people ask I want to proudly tell them that I was married to the most wonderful man in the world; that I had the privilege of being Mrs. Eddie Latekka." By the time she finished her miniature speech she was sobbing as well. She took him in her arms, held him tightly and for the first time since he had told her of his death sentence they sobbed together.

Forty-five minutes later they had both calmed down and they were lying on the bed just holding each other. They both had been hiding their fear and sadness from each other and it was starting to take its toll on them emotionally. When his sobs subsided he knew that he would not deny her what she wanted from him. "J." He whispered into the darkness.

"Yeah?"

"I would be honored to marry you." She was silent. "Janet?"

"I don't want you to do anything that you don't want to." She mumbled into his chest.

"Janet, please, baby, look at me." She raised her tear filled eyes to meet his. "Before I fell in love with you I never wanted to get married but you changed that. From our first date I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, which turns out isn't nearly long enough. One of my first thoughts when I got the bad news was how much I regretted waiting so long to see what was right in front of me for years. My second thought was the sheer disappointment of not being able to marry you. I was so insanely jealous of an unknown man that you will eventually fall in love with after me, the man that you will marry and have babies with. I wanted to be that man Janet. I wanted it more than anything and now because of your bravery and love I will get half of my wish. Believe me when I say that I want to be your husband more then anything so if you'll still have me I want to marry you." She answered him with a passionate kiss. "So is that a yes?"

"It's a yes." She was positively glowing with happiness.

"So when do you want to do this?"

"Right now or tomorrow."

""You want to get married here, in Vegas?" She nodded. "You're a girl. Shouldn't you want a big poufy dress, lots of flowers and girls standing next to you holding flowers?"

"Those girls are called bridesmaids Eddie."

"Okay whatever. Don't you want those?"

"I don't need any of those things. All I need to make my wedding perfect is you standing next to me as my groom. You've said it Eddie we don't have a lot of time and I don't want to waste a minute more not being your wife." Eddie grinned.

"If it's okay with you can we wait until tomorrow?"

"If that's what you want."

"I want my parents to be here. Mom would never forgive me if we got married and she wasn't here. I need to give them this."

"Of course Eddie. They are your parents. They should be here for their son's wedding." She smiled softly at him. "What about the guys and your sister? Do you want them here too?"

"I really do but things are hard for everyone right now and I know that my boys can't afford a plane ticket out here. Especially since we aren't giving them any notice. Mom's got plenty of frequent flier mileage from flying out to see Katie all of the time so she should be able to get free tickets for her, dad and Kate. Most of these wedding chapels will give us a DVD and when we get home we'll have a party and show it to them."

"I'm sorry Eddie. I know that you want them here." She suddenly felt very bad for rushing him into this. "Look we don't have to get married here. We can have a small ceremony when we get home so your friends can be there."

"Hell no Janet. You've got me all pumped up and excited to have Vegas wedding. Like you said the only thing I need for a perfect wedding is you as my beautiful bride. We are getting married tomorrow here in Vegas understand me?" She nodded. "Good. Now what about your mom? Do you want her here?" Janet snorted in response. "I take that as a no."

"That would be correct."

"J, she's your mom."

"Even if I wanted her here she wouldn't come." Janet and her mom were never close and when her dad died they grew even further apart. The day after Janet graduated from high school her mom took off to Washington D.C. to work as a lobbyist and Janet hadn't seen her since. "She couldn't find the time in her busy schedule to come home when my appendix burst and I almost died last year so I'm sure my wedding wouldn't even register on her radar." She told him bitterly.

"She's your mom Janet. You should at least call and tell her about the wedding. What she does with that information is her choice." She shook her head. "I know you Janet and I know that you'll regret it if you don't call her."

"Fine." She conceded. "Let's call them."

"You first."

"Fine." She huffed. She grabbed her cell and dialed the number.

"Put in on speaker so I know that you actually are calling her." She did as he requested and after three rings her mom's voice mail kicked on.

"Hi mom it's me. I just wanted to let you know that I am in Las Vegas and I'm getting married tomorrow. If you would like to come please call me and I'll give you the information. Okay. I'll talk to you later. Bye." She hung up the phone and looked at Eddie. "Happy now?"

"Even though you are acting fine I know that it bothers you that she isn't in your life."

"I'm used to it." She lied and he knew it but he chose not to press the issue. He would save it for another time. "Okay now you call your parents." Smiling Eddie grabbed his cell phone, dialed his parents and put it on speaker so Janet could talk too.

"Hey mom it's me and Janet. You're on speaker."

"Is everything okay?" As always Laura was worried about her son.

"I'm fine mom. In fact I'm great. Can you have dad pick up the extension?"

"Hang on." Eddie reached over and took Janet's hand while his mom called his dad to the phone. "Okay we're here."

"Mom, dad, Janet and I are getting married." Laura squealed and then burst into tears.

"Congratulations son. Janet welcome to the family." Jack said tearfully.

"Janet sweetheart how did he propose? Was it romantic? I want all the details."

"Actually mom Janet proposed." Eddie told his mom.

"Way to go." Laura responded. "So Eddie give me the details." Eddie and Janet spent the next few minutes telling his parents the details regarding their night on the town ending with the proposal.

"I know that this is short notice but we really want you and Katie here with us when we say our vows." Eddie said softly.

"No matter what we have to do son, we will be there. We wouldn't miss this for the world." Jack told his son.

"One more thing." Eddie added. "Please don't mention this to the guys. I want them to be here but none of the can afford to fly out here and if they found out that I'm getting married they will try to come out here and end up putting themselves in debt over it and I don't want that to happen. We'll have a party when we get home and show everyone the DVD."

"Don't you think you should let them make that choice Eddie?" Jack asked

"I know what their choice will be. It cost me over two hundred dollars for one ticket out here and I booked a week in advance. Can you imagine what it will be booking only a day in advance? Owen has a family and he needs all the cash he can get. All of Nicky's money goes to paying back his student loans and into Best Friend Windows and Ikey is an idiot who can't save money and lives paycheck to paycheck. I don't want to put pressure on them."

"Have you looked at any rings yet?" Laura asked.

"Probably tomorrow. I just want a simple band." Janet answered.

"Don't buy one. I have Eddie's grandparent's rings I was planning on giving them to him before…anyway I'll bring those with me. Janet if the ring doesn't fit we'll get it sized."

"Laura I can't take a family heirloom."

"Nonsense. Eddie's grandparents left those rings to him to give to his wife and as of tomorrow that will be you so those rings belong to you." Laura said firmly.

"Janet you can't talk mom out of it." Eddie told her wisely.

"Okay, fine." She relented.

They talked for a few more minutes before they disconnected. When Laura hung up the phone she turned to her husband with a determined look in her eyes, a look that Jack knew well. "You're going to tell the guys aren't you?" Jack asked her.

"Damn straight I am. There is no way I am letting my son get married without his best friends by his side. I don't care what I have to do but I will make sure that Eddie is surrounded by the people he cares about on his wedding day." Picking up the phone she began making the necessary phone calls to make sure that her son and his fiancé had the wedding day that they deserved.

--

Eddie and Janet spent the rest of the night planning their wedding. After talking to his parents Eddie called Katie who was ecstatic. She didn't really know the woman that her big brother was in love with so Janet and Katie spent over an hour getting to know each other. They were fast friends by the time the phone call ended. During the time that Janet was on the phone Eddie went to the hotel lobby and got as much information on Vegas weddings as he could. He returned to the room with a hand full of brochures on wedding chapels.

"What about this one?" Eddie asked. They were on their bed, Eddie was sitting up and Janet had her head in his lap with the brochures spread out around them.

"I am not getting married by Elvis Presley."

"Come on babe, it's a Vegas tradition."

"I'll think about it if you consider getting married by Captain Kirk from Star Trek."

"Tell me you're kidding." Janet burst out laughing.

"Of course I'm kidding. If I'm not willing to let Elvis marry us what makes you think that I want Captain Kirk to marry us. I want something simple yet normal."

"I know. I only grabbed those for fun." He bent down and kissed her softly.

"I can't believe that I am in Las Vegas planning my wedding. I feel like such a cliché but I love it."

"You're going to be a beautiful bride."

"You're biased."

"No. I am seeing clearly." This time she reached up and pulled him down for a kiss. "I love you." He whispered when they broke apart.

"Come on we need to focus."

"Yes ma'am." He replied, drawing another giggle from her.

"Wow I'm not even married yet and I have this wife thing down already." Eddie laughed as they focused on the task at hand.

Two hours later they had called numerous chapels but was unable to find one that was available for the next day so they agreed to wait until the following day and booked Janet's favorite chapel. For a reasonable rate the chapel would take care of everything. The only thing the happy couple had to do was show up.

"Were your parents mad about the delay?" Janet asked coming out of the bathroom. Eddie had just hung up with his parents.

"Not a bit. In fact mom actually seemed excited." He patted the spot on the bed next to him and she crawled in next to him and into his arms. She had never felt so safe and loved as she did when she was in his arms. "What kind of dress are you going to buy- a real one or just a regular one"

"I don't need to buy a new dress. I packed a nice dress that I can wear."

"That is unacceptable. My fiancé is not getting married in an old dress."

"Hey! My dress is not old."

"You know what I meant. You need to buy yourself a new dress."

"Eddie..." Janet began but he interrupted her.

"I'll give you my credit card and you can go shopping tomorrow with Mom and Katie."

"I am not letting you buy me a dress. I can afford my own." She said stubbornly.

"I know you can but since I don't have to buy the rings I have some extra money."

"Eddie you're already paying for the wedding, which in reality should be my job so I'll agree to buy a new dress but I'm paying for it."

"Janet sweetheart, please let me do this for you." He begged her and she couldn't deny him.

"Fine." She relented. Eddie grinned smugly and Janet stuck her tongue out at him.

"How pissed off to you think the guys will be when they find out that we got married without them?" Eddie had been worrying about that all night.

"Honestly, I think that they will be angrier that you didn't give them the choice about coming out here then the fact that you didn't tell them. Some male pride thing I think."

"Maybe I should call them and tell them."

"Maybe you should but not tonight. It's late."

"Yeah you're right. I have a better idea of something that I can do tonight."

"Oh really?" She raised her eyebrows and he attacked her lips. "Not quite sure what you have in mind Mr. Latekka."

"I guess I'll have to make myself more clear." Laughing he pulled her tee shirt over her head, tossed it across the room and planted his mouth on her breast.

"I love you." She breathed out as her cell phone rang. "Ignore it." She begged.

"It might be my mom with her flight information." He reached across her and grabbed her phone. "It's your mom."

"Like I said, ignore it."

"Janet she called you back. Give her some credit." Sighing she grabbed the phone out of his hand and flipped it open.

"Hello?"

"Hello Janet it's your mother." Janet rolled her eyes.

"Speaker." Eddie whispered. She flipped the setting to speaker and answered her mom.

"Hi mom."

"I got your message and I'm sorry to say that I won't be able to make it to your wedding. You should have given me more notice and then I may have been able to work something out."

"Mom we're in Vegas. It was a spur of the moment thing."

"Are you pregnant?" Janet had to bite her lip to keep from crying.

"No mom, I'm not pregnant."

"Then why are you rushing into a marriage?"

"Because we are in love."

"Love is over-rated. Who is this guy you're marrying?"

"Eddie Latekka."

"That name is familiar. Do I know him?"

"No you don't." The two women sat in silence until Eddie broke the silence.

"Ms. Meadows I'm Eddie your daughter's fiancé. I'm sorry that you can't make it to our wedding."

"Well if my daughter would have planned this in advance I might have been able to make it." Eddie had a strong desire to tell this woman what he thought of her at this very minute but he held back for Janet's sake.

"We are going to be in D.C. as part of our honeymoon in a week. I would very much like to meet you. Is a week enough notice to fit us into your schedule for lunch?" Janet shot him a glare but he ignored her.

"A week is enough notice for lunch. Call me when you get into town and we will make the arrangements."

"Great. I look forward to meeting you."

"As do I. Goodbye Janet."

"Bye mom." As soon as the call was disconnected Janet laid back in bed, facing away from Eddie. He lay next to her, wrapped an arm around her waist, brushing her bare breast with his hand.

"I'm sorry sweetheart." He whispered, placing soft kisses on her naked shoulder.

"I told you that she wouldn't come." She mumbled tearfully.

"I know you did. I just thought that since it was your wedding she would want to be here."

"If she really wanted she could be here." She whispered so softly that Eddie barely heard her. "She just doesn't want to be here."

"My sweet Janet, she has no idea what she is missing. You are an amazing woman who doesn't realize how lucky she is to have such an awesome daughter."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For loving me when my own mother doesn't."

"Oh sweetheart. It's a pleasure to love you and your mom loves you in her own self absorbed way." He held her tightly as he tears increased.

"When you die…there will be no one left that loves me." Her sad words brought tears to his eyes. He rolled her over so he could look at her.

"Don't say that. Hannah loves you and the guys love you. Since we are getting married you are inheriting a family that will love you and if it matters even though I'm not going to be with you physically as long as you remember me and the love that we shared then in a way I'll still be loving you." Janet reached up and pulled him down to her chest and hugged him tightly.

"Of course it matters. You have no idea how much that matters it me. I'm sorry Eddie."

"For what?" He tried to pull away from her embrace so he could look at her but she wouldn't loosen her grip.

"I shouldn't be going on like this when you're…this is supposed to be a happy experience for you and I'm ruining it." He pried her arms away from his neck.

"Janet you did not ruin anything. Just because I'm dying is no reason to keep anything to yourself. I love you Janet and dying or not if you're hurting, scared, mad, happy or lonely I want to know about it."

"But you have so …"

"I'll make you a deal. You share with me I'll share with you okay?" She nodded slowly. "That's my girl." He began kissing her tears away until she was smiling again. "Now where were we before we got interrupted?"

"I believe that you were getting ready to make love to your fiancé."

"That's right." He looked deeply into her eyes. "I love you." He told her. Her eyes filled with tears as his lips descended on hers. They made love slowly and tenderly that night, whispering their words of love and devotion to each other in the darkness until they both fell into a deep sleep wrapped tightly in each other's arms.

_**Thanks for reading. Reviews are appreciated and encouraged. Thanks in advance. :)**_


	5. Chapter 5

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Hey mom." Eddie said answering his cell phone while Janet nibbled on his ear. He had to bite his lip to keep from groaning into the phone.

"Hi sweetheart. What are you doing?" He gasped when Janet stuck her tongue in his ear.

"Hanging out." He whispered thickly.

"We arrived a little while ago so when you're ready come on up to our room. We're in 5406." Laura said.

"You weren't supposed to be here for another hour. You should have called." When Janet heard that she pulled away from Eddie's ear.

"We wanted to freshen up a little bit before we saw you."

"Give us a few minutes and we'll be down."

"Don't rush sweetheart."

"Bye mom." As soon as he hung up his phone he tackled Janet down on the bed. "That was so wrong."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Janet said innocently.

"Payback's a bitch." Eddie grinned wickedly.

"I don't mind your version of payback baby."

"Oh you'll mind this version." Eddie slid his hands under her shirt seductively. Just as Janet let out a small moan Eddie turned the seduction off and began tickling her.

"Eddie…stop…please…can't…breathe…oh…god…" She was laughing so hard that she was crying and she could hardly talk. Janet was the most ticklish person he had ever met and he was taking total advantage of that fact.

"Say you're sorry." He demanded.

"I'm sorry." She gasped and Eddie ended his torture.

"Like I said payback's a bitch." He told her with a smug grin.

"I hate you." She muttered.

"I love you too." She stuck her tongue out at him and headed to the bathroom to freshen up laughing the entire time.

--

"Eddie" Katie Latekka screeched. She had been standing in doorway of her room waiting for her brother. As soon as she saw him she ran down the hall and threw herself into his arms.

"Hey kid."

"Not a kid." She mumbled into his neck. "I'm a grown woman."

"I know it." He gently pried her arms off of his neck. "Katie I would like for you to officially meet my fiancé Janet." Both women embraced.

"Are you kids going to stay out in the hall all day?" Jack quipped.

"Hey pop. We're on our way." Eddie slung his arms around both girls and they all walked into Jack and Laura's suite and hugs were exchanged.

"How are you feeling son?" Jack asked

"I'm good dad. More tired then normal but I'm good thanks to my girl." Eddie said shooting a smile at Janet.

"I don't think that I have ever seen you this happy."

"I haven't been." Eddie glanced at his mom who was staring wistfully at him. "She worries too much." He commented to his dad.

"She a mother and you have cancer. It's her job."

"Worrying won't change what's going to happen."

"She knows that but it doesn't mean she's going to stop."

"I hate that I'm doing this to her, to you, to Kate and Janet." Jack put his hands on his son's shoulders, fighting back his tears.

"You're not doing anything. It's the cancer. Seeing you happy makes all of us happy."

"Thanks dad." The two men smiled at each other and Laura walked over to them.

"Eddie I brought the rings. They are on in our room on the nightstand. Why don't you go get them? I think that Janet needs her engagement ring."

"Umm okay." He sent his mom a weird look as he went to retrieve the ring. When he opened the bedroom door he got the surprise of his life. There, standing in the room were his best friends, Hannah and Allison. The only one missing was Phil. "What the hell? How did you…? What are you doing here?"

"We're here for your wedding." Owen answered.

"I…I…" Eddie was speechless. He was so glad that his friends were here but he hated the financial strain that his wedding caused them.

"I can't believe that we had to find out that our best friend was getting married from his mother." Nick said.

"Sorry about that. I tired to call you guys this morning to tell you but now I understand why I couldn't get through to any of you guys except for Phil. He's a shut in. Why the hell didn't he answer the phone?"

"We told him not to." Ikey answered. "He wouldn't be able to keep the secret."

"That's true." Eddie said with a smile but his friends didn't smile back. He knew he owed them an explanation. "Look guys I really wanted you here for this but it was such a spur of a moment thing I knew how expensive it would be for all of you to fly out here for one day and I couldn't ask that of you."

"You should have let us make that decision." Nick said,

"I know that which is why I was calling you guys."

"Just so you know coming out here didn't cost us a thing." Owen told him

"How is that possible?"

"Ask your mom dude." Ikey said.

"I think I'll do that." Eddie began to turn away from his friends but he stopped and turned back around to look at them with tears in his eyes. "I'm really glad you guys are here." He whispered and then disappeared quickly before his tears fell with his friends following him.

Hannah and Janet both squealed when they saw each other. Both women embraced tightly. "I can't believe that you're getting married." Hannah gushed.

"I'm so glad that you're here." Janet told her tearfully. "But how did you know?"

"I was just about to find out." Eddie said. "Mom care to explain?"

"I may have mentioned that my son and Janet was getting married in Vegas people started donating their frequent flyer miles and cash so your friends could be here with you." Laura explained.

"Why would people do that?" Eddie asked in shock.

"Because sweetheart, people love you and Janet. You have gone out of your way so many times to help people when needed, shoveling sidewalks for the elderly in the winter, mowing lawns for those same people in the summer for free. You've been a town favorite since that football game when you were a senior."

"The championship game ma."

"The only championship game that Knights Ridge High ever won." Jack added.

"Anyways the people of The Ridge love you and Janet. She is everyone's favorite bartender. When I told Sully about the wedding he put a jar on the bar and it was filled to capacity within the hour by Janet's loyal customers." Eddie reached out and took Janet's hand. They both had tears rolling down their cheeks. "You both have touched a lot of lives and they want to repay your kindness and the only way they know how to do it is with money so you can have a wedding with your friends." Laura said softly.

"Excuse me." Eddie said. He released Janet's hand and went out onto the balcony. Laura started to follow him but Janet stopped her.

"Let me." Laura nodded and Janet joined Eddie on the balcony. She went and stood beside him, not saying anything. She knew he would talk when he was ready. After a few minutes he came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on top of hers.

"I didn't want people feeling sorry for me." He finally said. "That's why I didn't want a lot of people knowing that I was dying and now the whole damn town knows. Now everyone will look at me with pity in their eyes."

"Of course people are going to feel sorry for you." Janet decided not to coddle him. "And they should. You are dying in the prime of your life. If someone looks at you with pity ignore it. As long as you're happy that's all that matters." Janet turned around to face him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You're a very prideful man, baby. Let it go. Accept the help and support that people want to give to you okay?" He nodded. "Now your best friends are here for our wedding so it's time to be happy and be thankful that the people in our hometown love us enough to make sure that they are here. Now lets get in there and enjoy their company." Eddie leaned down and kissed her softly.

"I am so glad you're here. You're my rock and I couldn't get through this without you."

"You don't have to."

"Wait here. I'll be right back." He broke their embrace and returned to the room. Janet watched through the glass door as Eddie talked to his mom. Laura walked over to her purse, removed a box and handed it to Eddie who quickly returned outside.

"I know that you were the one who proposed but it's the man in me who feels it's my job to propose." He dropped to one knee and took Janet's left hand. "Janet Meadows, I love you more than I ever thought possible. You have made me so happy and I want to make you as happy as you've made me. Janet will you marry me?"

"Of course I will." Janet answered with tears in her eyes. Grinning, Eddie rose to his feet and slipped his grandmother's engagement ring on her left finger and it fit perfectly. "I can't believe it fits." She whispered admiring the ring.

"I can. My grandfather's band fits me perfectly and this ring fits you so it means that we are meant to be together."

"I don't need a perfect fit ring to tell me that."

"Do you like the ring?" He asked nervously.

"I love it." It was a simple gold ring with a princess cut diamond. "I love you too." The happy couple shared a kiss until the guys started knocking on the glass patio door.

"I guess we have to get back to our guests." He said he pulled away from her.

"Yeah we should." They linked hands and returned inside.

"It's about time." Ikey said. "We're starving."

"We thought that we could go grab some lunch." Jack said.

"And then we'll hit the tables and plan your bachelor party." Owen said.

"I don't want a bachelor party." Eddie protested.

"Of course you do."

"And we'll plan Janet's bachelorette party." Hannah said.

"Guys really it's not necessary." Janet said.

"Yes it is. You're in Vegas, party central and you're getting married tomorrow so tonight we party." Ikey said but Janet and Eddie shook their heads.

"Okay how about we call it girls and boys night out." Hannah suggested.

"That will work for me. How about you sweetheart?" Eddie asked.

"I can do a girls night out." Katie clapped her hands.

"Before you start your girls night out Janet needs to go shopping for a wedding dress." Eddie told his sister. Janet thought that he had forgotten.

"I love shopping." Katie said. Eddie pulled his credit card out of his pocket and handed it to his sister. "I need a new dress too."

"Ask your father." Eddie quipped. "Now make sure she gets whatever dress she wants no matter what the cost is okay?" Katie nodded. "She'll fight you on it but I'm paying for it."

"She is right here." Janet said.

"I know it. I just need to make sure that she didn't forget." Janet stuck her tongue out and Eddie just laughed.

"Can we eat now?" Owen asked.

"Come on. Let's go." Eddie said and everyone filed out of the room. Katie linked arms with her brother and they fell behind everyone else.

"So how are you feeling?" She asked. This was the first time that they had been alone.

"For someone who is dying of cancer I'm pretty good. I always seem to have a headache but it's tolerable." Katie tightened her grip on Eddie's arm. "I'm glad you're here Kate."

"I glad too. Look I did some research on the Internet on your cancer and there are some surgery's that you could have."

"Surgery won't work."

"It could. Have you spoken with any surgeons?"

"I have. The tumors are growing fast and they are infiltrating my brain tissue. Even if they could be removed there would still be some tumor in the tissue and if they remove that I could end up a vegetable. I don't want to live like that. That's not living. What I'm doing know is living."

"You don't know what will happen unless you try. From what I've read the surgery can be very successful."

"Katie please just drop it. I've accepted what is going to happen and I just want to live out the rest of my life happy okay?"

"I don't want you to die." Katie whispered softly. Eddie stopped walking and pulled his sister to his chest in a tight hug.

"I don't want to die either but I don't have a choice. So instead of spending what time we have left together being sad let's enjoy each other okay?" She nodded and Eddie felt her tears hit his shirt. He lifted her face to his. "No tears Katie bug. This is the happiest time of my life. Tomorrow I'm marrying the woman I love more than anything. This is not the time for tears."

"I love you Eddie."

"I know. I love you too Katie."

--

After lunch the friends all split up. The guys and Jack went to the casino and the girls went shopping. The guys lost more money then they won but they had a blast doing it. Janet was able to find a dress that she loved for her wedding. It wasn't a real wedding dress or even a real fancy dress. It was a simple white sun satin sundress with spaghetti straps and roses embodied on the dress. It came to her mid-calf and flowed around her when she spun around. She thought that she looked great in the dress. She just hoped that Eddie thought so.

"Come on baby. Let me see the dress." Eddie begged, as they got ready for their respective night out.

"Tomorrow."

"Come on. I bought it so I should see it."

"Not part of the rules. You will see it tomorrow." He pouted but it didn't work. She ignored him and continued to put on her makeup so Eddie gave up.

"So what are you ladies doing tonight?" He asked.

"We got tickets to some magic show and then we're going to a bar. What about you guys?"

"We're going to see The Blue Man Group and then we're coming back to the guy's room for poker."

"You're not going to see strippers?" She asked

"No we're not. The guys want to but I don't and since tonight is about me I won."

"If you want to see strippers I'm okay with it." Eddie stared at Janet and he knew that she wasn't lying; that she was okay with him seeing strippers.

"The only boobs that I want to see are yours."

"You're a man and I know men like boobs. I won't be hurt if you want to see strippers."

"I am a man and I do love boobs. I love your boobs, I don't want to spend tonight looking at woman with fake ones when all I'll be thinking about are yours." He leaned forward and kissed her neck. "How about showing me yours before I leave?" She burst out laughing.

"You are such a pervert."

"I'm waiting."

"We don't have time."

"We always have time for a quick peek. It will only take a second." He tired the pouting lip again.

"Eddie."

"Please?" He stuck his lip out further,

"You're pathetic." He gave her the puppy dog eyes, "Fine." She quickly unbuttoned her blouse and opened it wide. Eddie ran his hands over the lace of her bra until he found the hook in the front. In one quick movement he unsnapped her bra and her breasts tumbled free. Groaning Eddie cupped the soft tissue and gently caressed them.

"Now this is what I'm talking about." He mumbled bringing his lips to her breasts.

"Hmmm." She moaned, running her fingers through his hair, pushing his face against her breasts. Suddenly there was a knock on the door of their suite. Eddie reluctantly pulled his lips away from her breasts.

"What?" He yelled

"Dude are you ready yet?" Ikey yelled

"No." He shouted back.

"We'll be ready in a minute." Janet yelled.

"Janet…" Eddie whined as Janet gently pushed him back.

"You said you just wanted a peek and you got more than a peek."

"It's not enough."

"It's going to have to be until after our wedding." Janet hooked her bra and began button her blouse again.

"After the wedding?" He spat.

"Rules must be followed. No more sex until after the wedding." She slipped on her shoes.

"You are evil. So very evil."

"Evil or not, you love me."

"Yes I do." He grabbed and pulled him towards her and kissed her until Ikey knocked on the door again. "I am so going to kick his ass." Eddie muttered pulling away from Janet.

"We better go."

"I guess you're right." They linked hands and walked to the door.

"It's about damn time." Ikey muttered.

"Watch it or I'll kick your ass." Eddie told him.

"I'd like to see you try."

"All right boys." Janet said stepping in between them, standing on her tiptoes and kissing Eddie. "Have fun." She whispered.

"You too." After another quick kiss Ikey drug Eddie down the hall to the elevator to start their boys night out.

--

Hours later Eddie was sitting on the balcony waiting for Janet to return to the room. He bailed on his friends about an hour ago with a headache. He did have a headache but it wasn't anything he couldn't tolerate. He was just tired and wanted to be with Janet who wasn't back yet. He jumped to his feet when he heard a knock at the door.

"Hi…honey…" Janet slurred when Eddie opened the door and he busted out laughing. She was toasted leaning against Hannah and Katie.

"Someone had fun I see." He reached out for his fiancé and she fell against his chest.

"She had a lot of fun." Katie said.

"I'm…drunk…" Janet told him.

"Yes you are." Eddie agreed.

"Do you need any help?" Hannah asked him.

"Nah. I got her. We'll see you for brunch tomorrow."

"Goodnight Eddie." Hannah and Kate said. Eddie smiled at them and shut the door.

"Come on sweetheart. Let's get you to bed."

"Not…tired…" She mumbled sleepily.

"Sure you're not." He assisted her to the bed where she collapsed in giggles. "I'm glad that you're enjoying yourself." She raised her arms in the air and motioned him to lean down. When he did she gave him a big, wet sloppy kiss.

"I love you Eddie." She slurred when they broke apart. "I'm going to love you forever and eve, even after you're gone."

"I hope you do." He said thickly. He left her alone and went to the bathroom for some aspirin and water, tears rolling down his cheeks. When he returned she looked asleep and he hated to wake her but he knew that if she didn't take the aspirin she would wake up with a hell of a hangover and be miserable on her wedding day. He gently shook her awake.

"Ummph."

"Janet baby, come on. Wake up honey and take the pills."

"No…need…them."

"Yes you do." He moved her to a sitting position. "Open your mouth." She did as he asked and placed to Aspirins in her mouth. "Now drink." He placed the water bottle to her lips and she drank it greedily. "That's my girl." He laid her back down and kissed her forehead. "I love you my sweet Janet." By the time he took her shoes off and covered her back up she was snoring softly. He took his pills and crawled in next to her and pulled her into his arms.

Sleep didn't come quickly for Eddie that night. Instead of sleeping he lay awake, staring at the woman in his arms who was snoring and drooling on his chest. He could close his eyes and picture her beautiful face anytime but tonight he was committing to memory everything about her; the way her curls sprayed across the pillow when she slept at night, or the way they looked piled on top of her head when she washed her face; the softness of her skin when he ran his rough calloused hands over her body; her smell; her natural scent and the perfume she used; the way her eyes sparkle when she smiles; the little wrinkles that develop at the corner of her eyes when she laughs.

He had no idea what was waiting for him on the other side. He didn't know if Heaven or Hell existed and the unknown terrified him. The only thing that helped ease his fear was the hope of taking and holding on to the memory of the amazing woman in his arms until they met again.

_**Thanks for reading. Please review with your thoughts. **_


	6. Chapter 6

**I own none of the characters of October Road -_Sorry for the delay in posting. My laptop died so I had to get a new computer and when I did that my internet went down and it took four days for it to get fixed but now everything is working again. YEAH_**

Eddie was woken up by the sound of groaning in his ear. He opened his eyes and had to squint against the sunlight. He figured that's why Janet was groaning because he had forgotten to close the drapes and the sun was shinning right in her eyes. He untangled his arms and legs from hers, pulled himself out of bed and shut the drapes.

"Thank you." She mumbled.

"Sweetheart you need to take more aspirin." He told her as he walked over to her side of the bed.

"No…sleep." She sounded like a little girl and he couldn't help but smile.

"Come on J. It'll help with your hangover. Trust me baby, I know. Now work with me please." He helped her sit up just like he did the night before. "Now open wide." With closed eyes she opened her mouth, placed the pills on her tongue, placed the water bottle to her lips and she drank. "Good girl." He complimented her as he helped her lay back down. "Now get a few more hours of sleep so you'll be bright eyed for our wedding." She nodded, rolled over and immediately fell back asleep.

Eddie was now awake and had no desire to go back to sleep so he headed to the bathroom to shower and shave. After the shower and a fresh pair of clothes he grabbed his morning pills from the nightstand, kissed Janet's head and slipped out of the room so he could go to breakfast because he couldn't take his medication on an empty stomach. He thought about ordering room service but he didn't want to risk waking Janet. He would just bring something back for her.

He was surprised when the elevator doors opened and he found Nick standing inside. "What goes on Eddie?"

"Fiancé is sleeping off a hangover and I need to eat. What about you?" Eddie asked as he stepped in the elevator.

"After you bailed last night we went out drinking and got shitfaced so they are still practically unconscious and I'm hungry."

"Well since you're hungry and I've got to eat let's eat together." Eddie suggested and Nick just laughed.

The men rode in silence down to the lobby/casino and found a restaurant. Nick ordered eggs, bacon, pancakes and potatoes while Eddie ordered a bowl of oatmeal and toast.

"Dude that's all you're ordering?" Nick asked.

"Not much of an appittite lately. It's either the cancer or the medicine but one of them is killing my desire to eat."

"You've lost a lot of weight Eddie."

"I've got cancer and I'm dying. Weight loss is part of it all." Nick fell silent until the waitress brought them their food.

"I hate it when you talk like that." Nick mumbled taking a big bite of his eggs.

"It's the truth and I'm not hiding behind it. You've got to face it Nicky."

"I don't want to. I don't want my best friend to die." He snapped. This is the first time the two friends have been alone since Eddie gave them the news.

"Do you think that I want this Nick? Hell I'm getting married today and I can only give her a few god damn months when I should be able to give her a whole lifetime. I want to live to be old and gray, have grandkids sitting on my lap in a rocking chair out on my front porch but you know what Nick? I'm not going to get any of that. I'm never going to be a father let alone a grandfather. I'm going to have one maybe two months of a happy marriage before I start drooling all over myself and become unable to function. Do you really think that I want this Nick? Do you?" Eddie stood up, tossed his napkin along with some cash for his breakfast and stormed off. Nick quickly did the same and rushed after him.

"Eddie wait." Nick shouted running to catch up with him but Eddie ignored him and increased his pace. "Dammit Eddie stop."

Even though Eddie heard Nick shouting for him he continued to ignore him and rush away. He didn't want Nick to see his tears. He hated thinking about everything he would never have and the pain he was putting his friends, family and Janet through. Every night before he fell asleep there was a small part of him that wished he would die in his sleep so he wouldn't have to see the hurt and sadness that surrounded him on a daily basis but the part of him that wanted to live each and every day to it's fullest was much bigger. Eddie finally found a nice solitude bench away from the world. He collapsed on it, head in his hands.

"Jesus dude for someone who is dying you sure can run fast." Nick panted sitting next to his best friend.

"Leave me alone Nicky."

"No man, I ain't leaving you alone."

"I'm not in the mood."

"We don't have to talk. We can just sit here in silence but you're not doing it alone."

"I'm scared Nicky. I'm so god damned scared." Eddie admitted softly.

"I'm scared for you Eddie." Nick put a hand on Eddie's shoulder.

"Why did I wait so long? She was right in front of me for years and I didn't see it. I've wasted so much time, so much time that we could have been together all wasted; time that we will never have together."

"Eddie you couldn't have known but you're doing the right thing. You are making every moment that you have left with Janet count."

"But will it be enough for her when I'm gone?"

"I think it will be. You are filling these days with love and memories and hopefully they will be enough."

"Look Nick. You love Hannah. It's so obvious and I know she feels the same. Don't waste another minute being apart because it could all be taken away tomorrow. Go get your girl."

"I will."

"Promise me Nicky. Promise me that you'll be happy." Eddie insisted vehemently.

"I promise Eddie."

--

"Wakey Wakey beautiful." Eddie mumbled in her ear as he placed kisses on her neck. Janet groaned and tried to pull the blankets over her face but found it impossible since Eddie was laying on top of the covers.

"Go away." She mumbled.

"I brought you breakfast?" She opened her eyes. "Blueberry pancakes."

"I love blueberry pancakes." She pulled herself into a sitting position.

"I know." He leaned forward and kissed her softly. "How are you feeling sweetheart?"

"Wonderful. Happy. Excited. It's our wedding day." She took a bite of her breakfast.

"No hangover?" She shook her head and swallowed.

"Nope because someone took such great care of me."

"Did you have fun last night?" He asked

"We did. There is this bar downstairs, Coyote Ugly and it's just like the movie. It was so cool. We sang, dance and drank way too much. I actually think that I got up on top of the bar and danced." Eddie stared laughing.

"I would have paid to see that."

"I think Hannah or your sister has pictures. What about you? Did you have fun?" She asked between bites.

"Yeah. We played poker. Phil kicked our asses."

"Phil? He's here?"

"Nah. We videoed conferenced him in on the laptop and he joined the game. I would hold up his cards in front of the camera and then he would tell us what to discard and pick up. It was a riot."

"Did you have fun?"

"Yeah I did." Janet placed her empty plate on the night stand, scooted forward, wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him down on the bed while kissing him. They were deeply involved in a hot and heavy make out session when Janet suddenly pushed him off of her.

"Janet?"

"What time is it?" Eddie rolled over and looked at the clock.

"11:30"

"Shit." Janet flew out of bed. "I have an appointment for a massage in thirty minutes and you aren't you supposed to go golfing?" She asked rushing into the bathroom taking her clothes off as she went.

He didn't bother answering her because he heard the shower turn on and he knew she wouldn't hear him. "Need some help in there?" He asked walking in the bathroom.

"I'm good thanks." He heard her giggle.

"Are you sure? I can wash those special places for you if you." He poked his head behind the curtain and he admired her backside as she shaved her legs.

"I think I've got it handled." He reached out and smacked her ass making her jump in surprise.

"Eddie." She shrieked.

"Love you babe."

After taking one of the fastest showers of her life Janet jumped out of the shower, threw on some clothes, piled her hair on top of her head and grabbed her makeup. She wouldn't put her makeup on until right before the wedding, after her hair appointment. "Bye babe. I love you." She told him.

"I love you too. I'll see you in a few hours. I'll be the sexy guy in the nice suit in the front of the chapel."

"I'll see you then." They shared a long passionate kiss before they parted ways before their wedding.

--

Janet spent the morning getting a massage, manicure, pedicure and finally a hair appointment. Eddie liked her hair down so she chose to keep it down and curly and the stylist placed a crown of flowers in her hair.

"You look beautiful Janet." Hannah whispered softly as both women got dressed.

"Thank you."

"Are you nervous?"

"No I'm not. I have no reason to be. I'm marrying the man that I love. I couldn't be happier."

"Nick told me he loves me and wants to be with me." Janet looked at her friend in shock.

"How do you feel?"

"I love him Janet."

"Then go for it girl. It can be taken away in an instant. Don't waste a minute." Janet wiped the few tears that had fallen from her eyes. "Treasure every day that you have together."

"Janet I am so sorry that this is happening to you. It's not fair. You and Eddie deserve a lifetime of happiness not the few months that you've been given. I wish that there was something I could do to make this better for you, to take away your pain."

"Do you have a cure for brain cancer lying around?" Tears filled Hannah's eyes. "Then you're doing everything you can. Just being here with me, on my wedding day means the world to me."

"The limo's here ladies." Katie said happily.

"Let's go get you married." Hannah said as both girls linked hands and headed out the door.

--

Nick heard the vomiting through the closed bathroom door. He knocked softly. "Eddie you okay in there dude? Nervous butterflies too much for you?"

"Pills. Bring me my pills." Nick heard Eddie grunt from the other side of the door. Nick looked around the room and saw a bunch of pill bottles on the nightstand. He didn't know what pills he needed so he grabbed them all.

"Eddie?" Nick walked into the bathroom and found his friend lying on the bathroom floor, head resting on the toilet. "I didn't know what pills you wanted so I brought them all." Eddie reached his hand out and Nick gave him the pills.

Eddie squinted against the pain and read the labels on the pill bottles until he found what he was looking for. "Water." He grunted as he opened the bottles. Nick quickly filled a paper cup that was on the bathroom sink and handed it to Eddie.

"What can I do?" Nick asked and Eddie shook his head as he swallowed a few pills. "Eddie you look really bad. Maybe I should call Janet." Eddie shook his head.

"No…don't call…her…"

"You can't get married in this condition."

"I'll be fine in a few minutes. I just need to give my medicine time to kick in." He didn't take his really powerfully strong medicine because if he did he would be knocked out for the rest of the day and he wasn't going to ruin this day for Janet.

"You guys can reschedule your wedding. You're in Vegas for crying out loud. Janet wouldn't want you to go through with it in this condition."

"I'm not canceling the wedding." He snapped lying down on the bathroom floor. "She wants this more than anything and I'll be damned if I'm going to let my cancer stop me from marrying the woman I love today."

"Eddie…"

"Don't Nick. I've got time to let the meds kick in. Just let me rest here and I'll be fine."

"Come on let's get you in bed." Nick resigned.

"No. It hurts to bad to walk. I'll just stay here."

"If you can't walk to the bed how the hell are you going to get married?"

"I'll do it. Now turn the light off and let me be." Nick didn't move. "Nicky please do this for me."

"Fine." Nick shut the light off and left his friend lying on the bathroom floor in severe pain. He really wanted to call Janet but he knew Eddie would never forgive him. His best friend was stubborn as hell and he knew Eddie would die angry at him and Nick didn't want to risk that so he turned on the TV and waited until he could wake Eddie up and he hoped like hell Eddie would be feeling better.

An hour later Nick went in the bathroom to wake Eddie. He squatted down next to the sleeping man and shook him gently. "Eddie it's time to wake up." Eddie groaned and rolled over, opening his eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." Nick stared at Eddie who was sitting up, head between his hands, taking deep breaths.

"Liar."

"Look dude, I'll be fine. I just need to get moving." His head still hurt like hell but he wasn't going to admit it to Nick. Placing his hands on the edge of the sink he pulled himself to his feet, fighting waves of dizziness and nausea. He grabbed two more of his pain pills.

"Should you be taking more pills so soon?" Nick asked him.

"Mind your own business Nicky." Eddie snapped swallowing the pills. "When do we leave?"

"Twenty minutes. Can you pull yourself together that quickly?"

"Yeah. I just need to put my suit on." Eddie slowly made his way to the room and got dressed. The guys showed up just as he had finished getting dressed and was struggling with his tie when they walked in.

"Need some help son?" Jack asked and Eddie nodded. Jack walked over to his son. "You okay?"

"I've got a really bad headache." He whispered. Jack opened his mouth to speak but Eddie stopped him. "I'm not canceling the wedding. I'm marrying Janet today."

"Whatever you want Eddie." Jack smiled softly at his son and tied his tie for him.

"Eddie we have one more surprise for you." Owen said happily.

"You shouldn't have." Eddie insisted.

"It wasn't us." Ikey opened the door and in walked Phil.

"Phyz what the hell are you doing here?"

"I couldn't miss your wedding. It was hard but I got myself out of the house, on a plane and here I am." Eddie walked over and embraced his friend tightly, fighting back his tears.

"I am so glad that you're here. You have no idea what it means to me to have you here. Thank you Phyz. Thank you so much." Eddie whispered softly.

"Come on Eddie. You'll be late for you're wedding."

"Let's do this." Eddie said with a smile.

--

Eddie stood at the front of the chapel, fighting the pain in his head, waiting for his bride to walk to him. Since all of his friends showed up and he couldn't decide which one to stand up for him and he didn't want anyone to get upset that they weren't chosen so he and Janet decided to stand alone. When the music began to play "Here comes the bride" he focused his attention on the back of the chapel and when he saw his beautiful Janet walking towards him the pain in his head seemed to disappear. He had never seen her look so beautiful and the dress she had chosen fit her perfectly. When he saw the tears streaming down her face his own fell.

"Hi." He whispered when she joined him.

"Hi."

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you."

"Are you ready to get started?" The man who performing the ceremony asked them,

"Oh yeah. Sorry. Please go ahead." Janet told him.

If either the bride or groom had been asked what was said during the ceremony neither of them would have been able to recall anything but each other. Their hands were linked and they stared at each other the whole time, tuning out everything but each other. Eddie and Janet finally snapped out of their trance when they heard their friends saying their names.

"Sorry. What did I miss?"

"Vows. Repeat after me." Eddie nodded. "I John Edward Latekka take Janet Edith Meadows to be my lawfully wedded wife; to love, honor and cherish all the days of my life." Eddie and Janet decided to go with the traditional vows minus the "obey and to death do us part" part of the vows. With tears in his eyes Eddie repeated those words to his bride then Janet followed suit.

After their vows were said they exchanged rings with shaking hands and then they were pronounced husband and wife by the state of Nevada. "You may now kiss your bride." They finally released hands and Eddie placed his hand on her cheek and they kissed softly as their friends and Eddie's family stood and cheered. They newlyweds kissed until they had no more breath left. "Thank you." Janet whispered when they broke apart.

"For what?"

"Marrying me. Making me the happiest woman alive."

"Thank you for asking me to marry you." He clucked her chin.

"I love you husband."

"I love you Mrs. Latekka."

"Come on you two. I'm hungry." Ikey quipped.

"Do you ever think about anything but food?" Eddie asked him tearing his gaze away from his wife.

"Now what kind of question is that?" Ikey responded and everyone laughed.

"Come on baby. We don't want to upset our guests." Janet said.

They spoke with the man in charge who told them that they could stop by the next day and pick up their pictures and DVD. They thanked him for everything and then joined their friends and family outside for congratulatory hugs.

"We've decided that since there are two limo's we'll all pile into one and leave the second one for you two to have some alone time." Laura told them.

"Works for me. We'll see you at the restaurant." Eddie told his mother, grabbing his wife and pulling her into the limo before she could open her mouth to respond. "Finally we're alone." He mumbled pulling her onto his lap so she was straddling him.

"You have a headache." She told him cupping his cheek. His headache returned a few minutes ago.

"I'll be fine."

"Eddie…"

"I'll be fine." He repeated pressing his lips to hers. His hand found the back of her dress, he unzipped it, slipped it down over her shoulders.

"Eddie…we shouldn't"

"Oh yes we should and besides sex is supposed to get rid of headaches." He argued. He pulled her breasts out of her bra and placed his mouth on them. Janet reached for his pants and unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. Janet sat up on her knees, Eddie lifted his ass off the seat and Janet yanked his pants down. Pushing her underwear to the side she slid down on top of Eddie's erection. "Oh hell Janet. You feel so damn good." He grunted. Placing his hands on her hips he helped her move on top of him. "Faster sweetheart. Please faster." He begged and Janet's body began to move faster over him. "Oh…yeah…that's it." He groaned staring at her breasts as they bounced with every thrust.

"Eddie…I'm…coming…" She moaned.

"Let it go baby and come for me."

"Oh…Eddie" She cried as her juices gushed over him.

"Janet." Eddie shouted as he exploded inside of her. "I love you." He said and then kissed her passionately until their trembling ceased.

"Married sex rocks." Janet told him as she put herself back together.

"Sex with you rocks married or not." Eddie responded zipping up his pants.

"Zip me please." She turned her back towards him and he zipped her dress back up. "How's you're head?"

"It hurts." He answered honestly.

"How long have you had it?"

"It was only a slight one when I was getting ready." He lied.

"Did you take your pills?"

"Before I left."

"Baby why don't we go back to the hotel and skip dinner." He shook his head.

"No. I can make it through." She looked at him, raising her eyebrows. "Really sweetheart. I'll be fine." The limo pulled to a stop.

"If it gets too bad you'll tell me and we'll leave okay?" He nodded. "Promise?"

"Yeah Janet. I promise." The driver opened the door and Eddie grabbed her hand. "Come on. Let's celebrate our wedding." Janet took her hand and reluctantly allowed Eddie to pull her out of the limo. She had a bad feeling but she pushed it aside.

--

Halfway through their dinner Eddie looked miserable. Janet could tell his headache was worsening with every minute that he sat there and everyone else knew it too and because Eddie wasn't enjoying himself and everyone else was having a hard time enjoying themselves.

"Janet I'm going to go lay down in the limo." Eddie painfully told her.

"Wait a second and I'll come with you and we'll go back to the hotel." She told him.

"No. Stay here and finish eating. I'll be fine." She opened her mouth to respond by the placed a finger over her lips. "Please stay and enjoy yourself. I just need some sleep." Janet had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. He leaned forward and kissed her and then stood. "Thank you all for everything. It was wonderful." With one last look at Janet he slowly shuffled off and Nick came over and took Eddie's seat next to Janet.

"I'm worried about him Janet." She nodded. "He's had this headache for hours and it's not getting any better."

"What do you mean for hours? He said it came on as he was getting ready."

"I'm sorry Janet. I showed up a couple of hours before the wedding and found him on the bathroom floor puking. He was really bad Janet. I gave him his pills but he didn't take the stronger ones because he didn't want to be knocked out for the wedding. I begged him to let me call you to reschedule the wedding but he refused. I told him you would understand but he wouldn't budge. He slept on the bathroom floor because it would hurt too much to walk to the bed."

"That stubborn, lying son of a bitch." Janet muttered. She tossed her napkin on the table and went out to the parking lot followed by Nick. That bad feeling that she had suddenly intensified as she rushed to the back of the parking lot where the limo was parked. She was about ten feet away when she saw him lying on the pavement about a foot away from the limo. "EDDIE." She screamed running over to him. "Nick call 911." Janet begged tearfully. "Eddie, honey." She gently rolled him over on his back and his eyes fluttered opened.

"Hurts J…hurts." He mumbled. "I just wanted to rest."

"I know. Help is on the way sweetheart. Hang on." She tried to lift h is head onto her lap and he groaned in agony and Janet burst into tears. "I'm sorry Eddie. I'm so sorry." She whispered over and over until the ambulance arrived.

**_Thanks for reading. Please review. I really do appreciate them._**


	7. Chapter 7

**I own none of the characters of October Road.**

"What do we have?" The emergency room doctor asked as Eddie was rolled in on the gurney nearly unconscious from the pain.

"Thirty year old male with N-stage brain cancer complaining of a severe headache. BP 164/98 Pulse tachy at 120. Resps 12." The paramedic answered.

"On my count 1. 2. 3." The doctor ordered while Janet stood in the doorway watching with tears streaming down her face.

"Please can you give him something for the pain?" Janet begged.

"Are you family?" The doctor asked. Janet automatically shook her head forgetting her wedding that took place a few hours ago.

"No I'm his girlfriend."

"Does he have family here?" Janet reached down and began to twirl her new ring that had taken up residence on her ring finger of her left hand and she suddenly remembered that she was married.

"I'm sorry. I'm his wife. We were just married this afternoon." The doctor looked like he didn't believe her. "I swear." She held up her left hand. "I've just been so worried and upset regarding Eddie that my wedding slipped my mind." She heard Eddie groan. "Please, he is in so much pain. He needs something."

"What medication is he on?" Janet had familiarized herself with Eddie's condition and the medication that he took so she quickly rambled off the medicine that he was taking. "Let's start him off with Dilaudid 4mg." The doctor ordered and then turned back to Janet. "Mrs. Latekka I need to get in touch with your husband's oncologist."

"Of course." Janet gave him Dr. Turner's number.

"I want to get an MRI of his brain."

"Why? We already know that he has cancer."

"With the severe headache I want to make sure that it's the tumor that's causing his pain and not something else like an aneurysm." Janet clamped her hand over her mouth.

"Could that be a possibility?" She gravely whispered.

"I need to rule it out."

"Can I sit with him until he goes for his MRI?"

"He probably won't be very receptive because of the pain medication."

"That's okay. I just want to sit with him." The doctor nodded and Janet went to sit with Eddie. As soon as she linked their hands together his eyes fluttered open.

"Janet?" He whispered.

"I'm here Eddie. How are you feeling?"

"Hurts so bad." He mumbled. "I think I'm going to puke." A nurse rushed over when she heard him. With Janet's help they quickly rolled him to the side and he puked.

"How is the pain Mr. Latekka? Any better?" He shook his head and closed his eyes because the light was making him sick.

"Give him another 4 of Dilaudid." The doctor ordered.

"Janet…stay with…me." He whispered.

"I'm not going anywhere." With her free hand she cupped his cheek. "Just rest now baby. I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Sorry…ruined…wedding."

"You didn't ruin anything. Just sleep." She leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to his. "I love you."

"Love…" He finally drifted off to sleep.

Janet stayed with Eddie until they took him away for his MRI and then the nurse took her to the waiting room where all of Eddie's friends and family were waiting anxiously. She gave them an update and then she joined them in waiting.

"You look like you need this cup of crappy coffee." Hannah said, handing her friend a cup.

"Thanks." Janet gratefully took the cup. She took a sip and then made a face. "This is really bad."

"Are you okay sweetie."

"I'm fine but Eddie's not." She mumbled wiping her tears away.

"Can I do anything?" Janet shook her head so Hannah just sat next to her friend in silence.

--

"Mrs. Latekka." Dr. Gibbons said as he came out into the waiting room. He saw Janet sitting there, staring at her cup of coffee but she didn't respond. "Mrs. Latekka." He repeated more loudly but she didn't move.

"I'm Mrs. Latekka." Laura said to the doctor.

"You must be John's mother." Dr. Gibbons said and Laura nodded. "I need to speak with his wife."

"I'll get her. She must not recognize her new name. They just got married a few hours ago." Laura walked over to Janet and placed her hand on her shoulder causing Janet to jump in surprise. "Sweetie the doctor is here. He wants to talk to you."

"Please come with me." Janet pleaded. Laura nodded and waved Jack over and the three of them walked over to Dr. Gibbons. "How is he?"

"The MRI results were what I expected. There was no aneurysm just the masses. I spoke with Dr. Turner and comparing the MRI that he just had today to the last one that he had in Boston one of his current masses have grown 1.3mm and there has been one new one that has developed."

"Is it bad?" Laura asked.

"It's very small, 0.3mm."

"Does this change anything in his treatment?" Jack asked.

"I'll adjust some of his medication but nothing major."

"When can he leave?"

"He's knocked out right and I want to admit him for observation. His blood pressure was high when he came in which I think was due to the extreme amount of pain he was in so I want to make sure that his blood pressure returns to normal and his headache is gone once the pain meds wear off." Dr. Gibbons explained.

"We have a flight to catch tomorrow afternoon. Should I cancel it?" Janet asked.

"If everything is good when he wakes up I'll discharge him in the morning."

"Can we stay with him?" Laura asked.

"Visiting hours are over but since he just got married today I'll make an exception and let his wife stay."

"Thank you." Janet whispered.

"He'll be in a room within thirty minutes and I'll send a nurse to find you when he's settled."

"Thanks Dr. Gibbons." Jack said extending his hand to the doctor and the two men shook hands and then the three of them returned to their friends and family.

"Thank you all for coming here with me. Eddie will be fine." Janet told them. "He's been given some pain medication and he is sleeping. They are keeping him until he wakes up and as long as his headache is gone he'll be discharged. I'm going to stay here with him."

"Do you want us to stay here with you?" Nick asked.

"No. You guys should go back to the hotel and get some rest. We'll call you in the morning when I have some news." They all exchanged hugs and kisses and everyone slowly filed out of the room with the exception of Katie.

"Want to go outside and get some air?" Katie asked her.

"Sure." Both women headed out into the muggy Las Vegas night.

"So I take it this wasn't what you had planned for your wedding night." Katie said with a grin.

"Far from it."

"I admire you Janet. Not many women would marry a man who was going to be dead in a few months."

"The marriage was my idea. Eddie didn't want to marry me and leave me a widow but I love him and I'll never love anyone like I love him and I wanted to spend what time we have left as his wife."

"Janet I've checked the internet and it sounds like there are some possible surgery options but he is refusing to listen to me. Why doesn't he want to try surgery?"

"According to Dr. Turner the position of one of his tumors is inoperative so even if the other ones were removed he would still have the one and then the way the doctor explained it to me his tumors kind of have tentacles that have traveled down into his brain tissue and any attempt to remove them could kill or leave him a vegetable and he doesn't want to risk it."

"So there is nothing that he can do?" Katie asked sadly.

"No." Janet and Katie lapsed into a comfortable silence for about five minutes before Katie spoke again. "I'm coming back home."

"Your brother wouldn't want you to give up your entire life in Georgia to come home and watch him die."

"I've got nothing in Georgia anymore. I went there with a guy and that is no longer an issue. I've got a shitty job taking pictures in a department store that wouldn't even let me take a week off to come home and see my dying brother. I've been thinking about coming home for awhile and when mom called and told me about your wedding and I couldn't get off I quit. Mom and dad are going to fly to Georgia with me, help me pack then we will drive to The Ridge."

"Do you have a place to live because you are welcome to stay with Eddie and I." Janet offered.

"I appreciate your offer but I'm going to stay with mom and dad until I can afford my own place. I want to put my college degree to use and open my own photography studio and mom and dad are going to help me out but I would like to visit as often as I can."

"You are welcome anytime Katie."

"Janet you are a wonderful woman and I am so glad that you are my sister."

"I'm glad that we are sisters for the next few months." Katie's mouth fell open in shock.

"Next few months! What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you planning on writing off my family once Eddie is dead?" Katie snapped with tears in her eyes.

"No of course not." Janet began to cry. "I just assumed that after Eddie…I'm no longer family." They both walked over and sat on a ledge.

"Janet you married my brother so that makes you family forever. I know that without his cancer you and Eddie would have been married forever. You are part of our family girl, whether you like it or not."

"Thank you." Janet whispered and she hugged her new sister.

--

One of the first things that Eddie noticed when he woke up was the extra weight on his abdomen. He knew without even opening his heavy eyes that Janet was sleeping on his stomach. As he opened his eyes, he reached down and his fingers found her curls. At the slight movement Janet awoke.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" She asked.

"Better."

"Does your head still hurt?" He nodded and she reached across him and pressed the call button.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered hoarsely.

"Don't be."

"Mr. Latekka, what can I do for you?" His nurse Chrissy asked.

"His head still hurts." Janet told her.

"Can I have something for the pain?" Eddie asked.

"The doctor okayed some Dilaudid for you if you need it."

"Is that what I had when I got here?" Chrissy nodded. "Can I have something less strong like my Percocet?" Chrissy flipped through Eddie's chart. "That will be fine. I'll be right back." Eddie closed his eyes until Chrissy returned. "Okay Mr. Latekka." With Janet's help Eddie pushed himself up and with a shaking hand he reached for the cup of water. With his free hand he took the cup of pills, tossed them in his mouth and washed them down with the water. "Do you need anything else?"

"No thanks." Chrissy nodded and left them alone.

"Have you been sleeping?" Eddie asked Janet when he laid back down.

"Yeah I'm good. Don't worry about me."

"Sleep with me." He requested.

"Eddie I'm fine."

"You shouldn't sleep sitting up and besides it's our wedding night. We should be sleeping together."

"I don't want…" Eddie opened his eyes and squinted at his wife.

"Please Janet." She couldn't say no to him. He scooted over to the far side of the bed and rolled to his side. Janet slipped off her shoes and climbed in next to him on her side. Staring at each other they reached out and linked their hands together. "This isn't what I had in mind for tonight." He mumbled sleepily.

"Don't talk. Just sleep so you'll feel better and you can get the hell out of here in the morning."

"Love you."

"I love you too." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his and within a few minutes they were both sound asleep.

Eddie woke the next morning when his nurse came in to check his vital signs. The first thing he noticed was that he was alone in the bed. "My wife, have you seen my wife?" Eddie asked his new nurse Connie.

"I'm right here Eddie." Janet said coming out of the bathroom.

"How are you feeling Mr. Latekka?" Connie asked

"Much better thank you." Connie placed the blood pressure cuff on his arm.

"Headache gone?" She pressed the button and the cuff inflated to check his pressure.

"Just a slight one which is normal."

"Would you like any pain medication?" She took the cuff of his arm and noted his reading in the chart.

"I have a prescription for 800mg of Ibuprofen. That's what I usually take."

"I'll get some for you. Would you like some breakfast?"

"Maybe some dry toast."

"I'll put the order in. Dr. Gibbons will be in shortly to check on you."

"How are you feeling?" Janet asked once he had taken his pills and his dry toast had been delivered.

"Much better."

"Are you sure?" He gave her a confused look.

"Yeah I'm sure. I just have my normal everyday headache." He grinned at her.

"Good." She said and then slapped him on the arm. "Don't ever do that again." She said, her eyes filling with tears.

"Do what?"

"Lie to me. Let yourself get so sick that you have to be admitted to the hospital."

"Janet…I…"

" Nick told me. You had a headache. A bad one and instead of taking your medication like you should have you had to be stubborn and then you ended up in the hospital on our wedding day."

"I thought I could deal with it."

"And how did that work for you?"

"Not well." He mumbled sadly.

"Why Eddie? Why didn't you just take your Percocet?"

"Because we were getting married. If I would have taken the pills I would have been knocked on my ass. I wouldn't have been able to stand at the altar and marry you."

"So instead you stood at the front of the wedding chapel in obvious pain to marry me. Thanks a lot Eddie because now every time I look at our wedding album I'll remember how much pain you were in."

"No Janet that's not true. It was the most amazing thing. My head hurt so bad but when I saw my beautiful bride walking towards me the pain in my head disappeared." Janet looked deeply into his eyes and saw that he was speaking the truth.

"Don't ever lie to me again." She whispered softly.

"I just didn't want to ruin your day."

"Our day Eddie. It was just a wedding. We could have rescheduled until you felt better."

"I'm sorry Janet. I just wanted to make you happy."

"Yeah Eddie, seeing the man I love in so much pain that he could have avoided, finding you practically unconscious on the ground and spending my wedding night in the hospital made me real damn happy." Eddie reached out and wiped her tears off of her face that had fallen.

"I've said this already but I'm sorry. This is not how I wanted our marriage to start."

"Don't hide your pain from me no matter what we have planned. If your head hurts I want to know. I want you to take your medication so you can feel better. When I saw you lying on the ground next to the limo I have never been so furious with you and scared for you at the same time. I don't want to feel like that again. Promise me Eddie. Promise me that you won't ever hide anything from me."

"I promise Janet." He placed his hand behind her neck and drew her face to his and they kissed until they were interrupted by Dr. Gibbons.

"I see that you're feeling better." Dr. Gibbons commented with a smile and Janet situated herself on the edge of his bed.

"Yes sir." Dr. Gibbons shined a pen light in Eddie's eyes checking his pupils.

"How is your headache this morning?"

"Better."

"But not gone."

"My headache never goes away but most of the time I can manage it." Dr. Gibbons spent the next fifteen minutes discussing his MRI results and some different pain management strategies.

"Your blood pressure is still elevated. It's not as high as it was when you were brought in yesterday but it's still high so I would like to start you on some blood pressure medication." Dr. Gibbons explained.

"Do I really need more pills?"

"Eddie if you didn't need it then Dr. Gibbons wouldn't prescribe it." Janet told him.

"Fine." He sighed.

"I want to adjust your pain medication too. Obviously the ibuprofen isn't enough so I'm going to give you a prescription for Darvocet. Start taking these when you have one of your level 1 headaches. If the Darcovet doesn't take care of it then move to the Percocet before it becomes worse. Your body can't handle many more of those headaches like you had yesterday. Do you have any questions?"

"Can I get the hell out of here? We have a honeymoon to get to."

"Dr. Turner wants you to go home and see him."

"Not happening. Not now. I'll see him in another week when we get home."

"Eddie please. We can reschedule." Janet begged him.

"No Janet. I decided that the cancer is not going to control what time I have left." Eddie snapped. "It already ruined our wedding night and I'll be damned if I'm going to let it ruin our honeymoon."

"John I really don't recommend…"

"My name is Eddie and I'm leaving this hospital to start my honeymoon. Now get me my discharge papers."

"I'll send a nurse in. Eddie I wish you the best of everything." Dr. Gibbons said before stepping out of the room.

"Eddie that was unnecessary. You were rude." Janet chastised.

"I want to get the hell out of here and spend time with you. Is that so wrong?" He practically shouted. When he saw her eyes fill with tears he felt like an ass. "Janet I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. Spending time inside of a hospital is the last thing I wanted and going home today won't change a damn thing." He reached out for her and she laid her head in his chest. "Being laid up here in the hospital puts the cancer that's killing me front and center in my life and it's all I can think about but when it's just me and you I never think about it. All I can think about is you, loving you and making you happy." He leaned forward and kissed her head.

"Well hopefully the nurse will be in her quickly because we have a flight to catch." She mumbled into his chest.

"Thank you for understanding. I love you Janet."

"I love you too Eddie."

--

"Mom, dad thank you for everything that you did for Janet and I." Eddie told his parents before they boarded their flight.

"We didn't do anything." Laura said.

"Yes mom you did. You dropped everything to come to our spur of the moment wedding and you'll never know how much that means to me. You used your Latekka charm to get our friends here and you love and accept my wife. Thank you."

"You are our only son. We wouldn't have missed your wedding day for anything. And the love and accepting, that was easy. She is a wonderful woman who loves you and makes you happy." The boarding call for his parent's flight filled the airport terminal so Eddie embraced his parents.

"I love you guys."

"We love you son." Jack said.

"Be safe." Laura said.

"I will mom." Katie and Janet joined them and they all hugged.

"Take care of him Janet." Laura whispered.

"I promise. I will."

"Katie I guess I'll see you at home." Eddie told his sister.

"She told you?" Katie asked.

"Of course she told me. She's my wife. We have no secrets."

"I'll see you in a week."

"Hey Kate." She looked at her big brother. "I'm glad you'll be home, where you belong."

"I should have listened to your warnings about Joel."

"Yes you should have." He winked and then kissed his sister's head. "Love ya kid."

"Love you too old man."

Eddie and Janet stayed at the gate until the plane was out of sight and by that time it was time to board their flight.

"Nervous?" Eddie asked as they settled into their seats.

"No. I've got you hear to protect me."

"Damn right."

"I changed my mind about something." She told him as their plane ascended into the air.

"We're already married and we have already consummated the marriage. It's too late to change your mind."

"Not about that. I'm going to get a tattoo with you." Eddie's eyes lit up in surprise.

"Do you know what you want to get?" She nodded.

"I want the Chinese symbol for love tattooed on my wrist with my initials above it and our wedding date below it."

"Your initials are my initials too you know."

"I know."

"I've decided what I want my tattoo to be." She looked at him, waiting expectantly. "I'm getting the same one as you in the same place."

"With these tattoos we will always be a part of each other." Janet told him softly.

"Even without them we will always be a part of each other."

"I know." She quickly laid her head in the crook of his shoulder so he wouldn't see her tears. Eddie wrapped an arm tightly around her and they both drifted off to sleep.

_**Thanks for continuing to read and review. I really appreciate it.**_


	8. Chapter 8

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Eddie I can't do this. I've changed my mind." A panicked Janet said.

"You'll be fine. Just hang on tight." Eddie encouraged. From her spot on the bridge Janet glanced down to the river below and it looked really far away.

"I'm really afraid of heights." She said tearfully. "I really don't think I can do this." As much as Eddie wanted Janet to take this plunge with him he didn't have the heart to make her jump if she didn't want to. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry sweetheart. I would never let anything happen to you but if you don't want to jump then I don't want you to jump." Janet looked deeply into his brown eyes and she knew that as long as his arms were around her she would be safe. "Excuse me can you come over and unhook my wife please? She has changed her mind." Eddie said to the gentleman working the bungee operation.

"That won't be necessary." Janet spoke up, never taking her eyes away from Eddie's. "I've changed my mind again. I'll jump."

"Are you sure Janet? I don't want you to do anything that you don't want to do for me."

"I'm sure. I know as long as I'm with you I'll be fine."

"Whenever you two are ready." The owner said.

"Ready hon?" Eddie asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be." She buried her head in the crook of his shoulder.

"On three." She nodded closing her eyes tightly. "One...two" They both bent their knees. "Three." Tightening her grip around his neck they both dove off of the bridge.

Janet tried to scream but due to the fact that her stomach was in her throat she was unable to make it happen. They continued to soar through the air until the tops of their heads were dipped into the river and then they were pulled back up into the air and Eddie swore he heard Janet giggling.

"Isn't this great?" Eddie shouted.

".God." Janet said through her giggles. "That was amazing." Janet continued to giggle until they were just swinging in the air.

"I'm going to release us. Are you ready?"

"Yep." Eddie released them and they both fell into the warm water.

"I would love to do that again." Janet announced when she surfaced.

"Maybe next time you'll keep your eyes open on the way down." Eddie said with a smile as they both treaded water waiting for the boat to pick them up.

"If we ever do this again I will definitely keep my eyes open." Eddie swam closer to Janet and reached for her hands.

"Hell we're going back up and doing it again." He told her with a grin and a huge smile crossed her face.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. Come here." Eddie pulled his wife to him and kissed her until the boat arrived.

They arrived in West Virginia the day before and they didn't come out of their hotel room until it was time to bungee jump. Eddie made sure that Janet had the honeymoon night that she didn't get on their wedding night because he was a dumbass. They made love numerous times and when they were hungry they ordered room service and then made love again. It was perfect for both of them.

The owner of the bungee jump laughed when they returned from the river requesting a second jump. There were four groups ahead of them so they patiently waited in line acting like the classic newlyweds, holding hands, stealing kisses, whispering words of love in each other's ears and just holding each other.

They both enjoyed the second jump much more then the first one. Janet kept her eyes open and laughed the entire time. Eddie was right. The vision around them while sailing through the air was exquisite. She had never seen anything so beautiful. Meanwhile, Eddie wasn't taking in the scenery around him. He was thoroughly enjoying the look of pure joy that was on his wife's face.

"Thank you Eddie. Thank you so much. This was an amazing experience; something that I never would have done without you." She wrapped her arms around her neck. "I love you husband." As much as he didn't want to think about it he couldn't help where his mind wandered. He knew that they wouldn't be standing on this bridge together in West. Virginia if he wasn't dying.

"I love you too wife." He leaned forward and they shared a long sweet kiss.

--

The next day they spent four hours white water rafting. Eddie had booked the shortest excursion because he knew with his diminished strength he wouldn't be able to go longer then the four hours. The river was a level 2 river which meant that it wasn't dangerous but there were enough currents that they were able to feel challenged and have fun at the same time. And fun they did have. They sat next to but across from each other and they paddled hard but laughed at the same time. There were a few times that each of them thought the other was going overboard but it never happened. They remained safely inside of their raft at all times.

On the way back to the hotel they stopped for a late lunch and Eddie had to fight to keep his eyes open. He was more exhausted then normal so the minute they returned to the hotel he collapsed fully clothed on the bed and was out like a light within minutes. Of course Janet was tired too because rafting is a lot of work so she crawled in bed next to him and took a nap.

When she awoke two hours later she noticed that the sun had started to set. She yawned, stretched, and leaned over to kiss her husband but his snoring never faltered and she knew he was probably out for the night. Even though she expected this outcome she was still disappointed that she was going to have to spend the remainder of the evening alone but there was one advantage; she could call Hannah and catch up on some much needed girl talk.

The first call she made was to Laura to let her know that Eddie was fine. She promised to call Laura as often as she could because Laura worried about her son and Janet couldn't blame her. Since Eddie was asleep Janet was able to have a lengthy conversation with her mother in law about Eddie's condition. It drove Eddie crazy whenever Janet and Laura talked about his cancer so they made sure their conversations were short and sweet. After she disconnected with Laura, Janet called her best friend.

"So how is the honeymoon?" Hannah gushed as soon as she answered the phone. Janet went in to most every detail of her wonderful honeymoon. The more intimate details she kept to herself. "It sounds like you are having a wonderful time."

"I really am." Janet said.

"So are you seeing your mom when you get to D.C.?"

"Yes. Eddie is insisting on having lunch with her."

"You don't sound happy about it."

"Hannah it's my mom."

"Janet she may be able to help you when …she knows what its like to lose a husband." Janet was silent. "Are you going to tell her?"

"No I'm not going to tell her. She would think that the cancer is the only reason that Eddie married me. "

"She's your mother. She…"

"Hannah I don't want to talk about my mother. In fact I want to talk about anything but her right now."

"Ok fine then. The guys are planning on meeting you at the airport when you return."

"Eddie will like that."

"If it works out with you they have a couple of surprises planned for him. Do you have any plans the first few days when you return home?"

"He has an appointment with his oncologist on Monday and since we are getting back in Boston on Saturday we were just going to get a hotel room and stay until after his appointment. That's our only definite plan. Why?"

"They want to take Eddie to the indoor water park on Saturday for the surfing that he wants to do and have a boys day and then thanks to Sully who has friends in high places, on Sunday he has arranged for Eddie to fly a helicopter, just the two of them and of course an instructor and then Eddie's family, Pizza Girl, Allison, the guys, you, I, Sully and Eddie are going to play a game of baseball at Fenway park."

"Oh my God." Janet practically shouted. "Are you serious? Eddie is going to flip out. How the hell did all of this happen?"

"I'm telling you. Sully has friends in high places. He knows one of the groundskeepers at Fenway and he has a friend that owns his own helicopter. When he heard the guys talking about Eddie's list he started making phone calls and ta da. Janet it's amazing how many people want to do what they can for Eddie." Hannah finished softly.

"What if I can't do what he needs me to do?" Janet asked her friend.

"What are you talking about?"

"I…I…What if I'm not strong enough to watch him die?" She whispered tearfully. "What if I can't be what he needs me to be?"

"Do you love him?"

"More than anything."

"Then you are already what he needs you to be. You are the woman that loves him: his wife. Janet you are the strongest woman I know and you'll find the strength to be there for him."

"But what if I don't." She sniffled."

"You will." Hannah said in a "don't argue with me" tone.

"Hannah I don't want him to die." Janet sobbed into the phone. "I love him so much. I don't want to live without him."

"I know sweetie."

"No Hannah you don't know." Janet snapped, unable to control her emotions. "Nick is fine. He isn't going to be dead in a few months. You're going to be able to spend the rest of your life together…years. I don't have that. I only have months." Janet jumped out of her skin when she felt Eddie's hand on her shoulder.

"Give me the phone." He requested softly and Janet handed her cell to him and then disappeared into their room.

"Hey Hannah. Janet's going to have to call you back later. Probably tomorrow okay?"

"No problem Eddie. Tell her I love her." Hannah replied through her own tears.

"Will do." Eddie snapped the phone closed and returned to their room. Seeing the bathroom door closed he knew that's where his wife was. "Come on out and talk to me." Eddie called to the closed door. For a few minutes he didn't hear anything so he turned the handle only to find it locked. "Janet." He called again. He then heard the toilet flush and the water turn on. He waited by the door until she came out five minutes later with a freshly washed face.

"I'm sorry I woke you up by talking too loud. You should really try to get back to sleep." She said as she walked right past him while avoiding eye contact.

"You didn't wake me. I woke up on my own." He watched as she pulled their suitcases from out of the closest. "Babe what are you doing?"

"Packing. We have an early flight tomorrow."

"Let me help."

"I can do it."

"I know that but I want to help."

"Fine." They packed in silence for the next hour and every time Eddie glanced at Janet he saw her biting her lip, desperately trying not to cry and seeing her like that broke his heart.

"Are you hungry? Do you want to order some room service?" He asked her when their suitcases were packed.

"Not really." She mumbled. She was checking all of the drawers again in an attempt to avoid him. He walked over and placed his arms firmly around her upper body to stop her movements.

"Talk to me." He mumbled in her ear.

"There's nothing to talk about." Her body was stiff and her voice trembled.

"I heard your conversation with Hannah."

"You shouldn't eavesdrop."

"You should tell me what you're feeling. Not Hannah." He said gently.

"She's my best friend." He felt a tear hit his hand.

"I'm your husband." She struggled against him until his grip loosened and she was facing him.

"You want to know what I'm feeling?" She shouted, tears spilling from her eyes.

"I do." He reached for her hand but she pushed it away.

"I wish that we never became more than friends." She saw the hurt flash across his face. "I didn't mean it like that. If we weren't more than friends then this disease wouldn't hurt so god damn much. I wish that we would have realized that what we felt was more than friends' years ago and then we would have been together for years already…maybe with babies of our own. I wish that life was fair and you didn't have cancer. I wish that we could have at least fifty more amazing years together. I wish that you weren't dying and leaving me." She was sobbing, barely able to get the words out. "I wish it was me. I wish I was the one with the cancer. It should be me. Not you."

"No Janet no." Eddie said desperately as his wife collapsed sobbing in his arms. Not knowing what else to do he gently eased her to the floor and he held her tightly as they both cried together.

"I'm sorry." Janet mumbled once she had finally calmed down.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing at all sweetheart. Its how you feel."

"I'm not sorry about that. I can't help how I feel." Eddie couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. "I'm sorry for breaking down and acting like a child."

"Can we move this to the bed please? My ass is starting to hurt."

"We can't have that now can we?" Janet asked with a grin. They slowly got to their feet and climbed into bed under the covers, each on their sides facing each other, holding hands.

"Sweet girl why do you wish it was you that has this shitty cancer?" He whispered tearfully.

"Because you mean so much more to people than I do. So many people are going to miss you baby. You have touched and impacted so many lives. Knights Ridge will not be the same without you."

"That's the most asinine thing that I have ever heard. That is no reason to wish that you were dying instead of me and it's not true. You have people that love and care about you. As the bartender at the only bar in town you, my dear, have touched or impacted the lives of many people."

"I want the cancer because I don't want to be here without you." Tears slid down her face. "I don't know if I could sleep in our bed without you, go into Sully's knowing that you'll never be sitting at your stool again, walk past Best Friend Windows knowing you aren't there, hell walk through the entire town and know that I'll never see you again. I would much rather it be you that has to go through that then me."

Eddie didn't know what to say to those heartfelt and true words. He knew that he would feel exactly the same way that she did if the shoe was on the other foot but he knew she didn't need to hear that. He didn't want to die but more importantly he didn't want his beautiful wife to die. Even though he wouldn't be with her he wanted her to live a long, happy, healthy life. He wanted her to fall in love again and have babies. He knew she would make a wonderful mother. He just wished like hell he could be the father of her babies. He just wished he could grow old with her.

"I love you Janet, more than you'll ever know." Before she could respond he leaned forward and kissed her softly and slowly.

"I love you too. I…I…don't want to lose you."

"Shhhh." He murmured kissing away her tears.

"I shouldn't have…"

"Don't talk. Just kiss me."

"But…"

"Just kiss me." Eddie demanded sweetly.

"If you insist." Janet wrapped her arms around Eddie's neck and pulled him to her face and they shared a long passionate kiss.

When they broke apart they slowly undressed each other tenderly. When they were both naked Eddie sat up against the headboard. Somewhat shyly Janet crawled over to him, positioned herself on top of his erection, wrapped her legs around his lower back, her arms around his neck and he pressed his lips to her neck, cheek, ears, lips, shoulders, breasts and anything else he could reach.

Without speaking they both knew that tonight wasn't about making love. Tonight was about being together, being one with each other. There really was no major movement. Janet just slowly rocked back and forth, savoring the feeling of his lips on her body, his hands on her ass or back. They didn't speak. They didn't moan. They didn't scream. They just held each other tightly and made love slowly and tenderly until they were experiencing the most intense orgasm to date that either of them had to date.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" Eddie asked once they were settled in each other's arms.

"I'm sorry I broke down like I did. I know you don't need that bullshit from me."

"It's not bullshit babe. If the roles were reversed I would feel the same way."

"You would?" Janet sounded surprised.

"Of course I would Janet. I love you as much as you love me and it would be hard as hell to be in all the places that we were together without you. I would be miserable and speaking of being miserable I want you to promise me something."

"What?"

"When I'm gone I want you to be happy."

"Without you I don't think I can be." She mumbled softly.

"You can try sweetheart. I want you to fall in love, get married and have lots of babies. I want you to be happy. Promise me Janet." Asking her to make that promise broke his heart. He didn't want to imagine her with anyone else but he didn't want her to be miserable for the rest of her life.

"No I won't promise that."

"Janet…"

"I can't lie to you Eddie and if I make that promise to you it would be a lie. I know that I will never love any one like I love you. I'll never be as happy as I am when I'm with you. What we have had together these last few months and what we will have in the next few months, the memories we have made, the memories that we will make, those will keep me happy for a very long time."

"But…"

"No buts Eddie. After you're gone I'm not going to go out looking for your replacement. You are irreplaceable in my life and heart Eddie Latekka. I'll make you a deal. If someone comes into my life I won't fight it okay."

"I guess that will have to do. I just worry about you."

"I know you do and I love you for that." Janet lifted her head and kissed him softly. "Now sleep baby. You know that you are more prone to headaches if you don't get enough sleep and I don't want our trip to D.C. to start with a headache. Do you?"

"Absolutely not. I love you Janet."

"I love you too. Now sleep."

"Yes ma'am." Eddie said with a grin. He kissed the top of his wife's head and settled back onto the pillows and within a few minutes he was sound asleep.

As soon as Janet was sure he was in a deep sleep she untangled herself from his arms, slid Eddie's tee shirt over her body and slipped out onto the deck. She wasn't tired and she didn't want to keep Eddie awake by tossing and turning. She felt guilty because she wasn't completely honest with him. She knew that there would never be anyone else in her life after the love of her life was gone. She didn't foresee any other men coming into her life but if it did happen she wasn't opening her heart to anyone. Her heart belonged to only one man and that man was Eddie. No one would ever have her heart after he was gone…no one.

As she sat on the balcony looking out at the mountains that surrounded the hotel she couldn't help thinking about what a rotten hand Eddie had been dealt. He was such an amazing, wonderful man who deserved to live a long life. She couldn't understand why, when they were only just beginning their lives together he was cruelly being torn away from her. She knew, in the end, he was going to be in so much pain and he wouldn't know who she was and those two facts terrified her. She didn't want to imagine him hurting so much while there was nothing she could do for him and probably what scared her the most was the image of Eddie looking at her as a stranger.

"Why?" Janet asked raising her face to the sky. "Why Eddie? Why are you taking him away from me?"

Janet buried her face in her hands and sobbed as quietly as she could so she wouldn't wake Eddie. She was so sick of crying. She hated herself for being so weak and emotional. Eddie didn't need the added burden of her emotional weakness. She needed to be strong for him. That's what a good wife does. She stays strong when her husband needs her to be. She vowed right then and there to be strong for Eddie. To be the wife that he needed her to be.

Wiping her eyes she quietly returned to the room, removed Eddie's tee shirt so he wouldn't get suspicious and climbed back into bed. She snuggled up next to him and without his snores stopping Eddie automatically placed his arm around her and pulled him closer to his body. "I love you Eddie…so much."

_**Thanks, as always for reading. Please review with your thoughts. I really appreciate your support. **_


	9. Chapter 9

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Call her Janet." Eddie said to his wife.

"I don't wanna."

"Jesus, you sound like a child." He muttered.

"If it's so damn important to you why don't you call her?" Janet snapped back. The topic of her mother always put her in a foul mood.

"Because she isn't my mother. She's yours."

"Why is this so important to you Eddie?"

"Because she is your family and after I'm gone you're going to need all the family that you can get."

"Give me the damn phone." Janet would much rather talk to her mother then discuss Eddie's death any day of the week. She waited impatiently while the phone rang on the other end until her mom picked up, surprising Janet.

"Hi mom. It's Janet. Ummm…Uhhh….Eddie and I arrived here in D.C. a few hours ago."

"How was your flight?"

"Fine."

"What are your plans for your stay?"

"Today Eddie wants to scope out all of the monuments, maybe take a couple of tours and then we are going to spend the next two days at the Smithsonian's."

"Is that all you have planned?" Sharon asked.

"Yep.

"It doesn't sound like much fun."

"It's what Eddie wants to do." As soon as the words were out of her mouth Janet regretted them. She did not want her mom knowing that Eddie was dying. "I meant it's what we want to do. You know how much I love museums."

"Well how about we meet for dinner on Friday night?" Sharon suggested

"That's fine." Janet mumbled.

"Let's meet at 7:30 at L'Tureve. It's a very nice restaurant. Do you two have nice clothes with you, a dress for you and a jacket and tie for you husband?"

"I'm sure we'll manage to come up with something that will meet the dress code requirements."

"Very good. I will also have passes left for you two at the museums."

"Mom you don't need to do that."

"Nonsense. I have the passes and I will never use them so stop at security and they will be there for you. Now what is your married name? I know you told me but I just don't remember."

"It's Latekka."

"Spell it dear." Janet sighed irritably.

"L-a-t-e-k-k-a."

"Okay. The passes will be there. Have a nice time and I will see you on Friday."

"Yeah. See you on Friday."

"I look forward to meeting your husband."

"Bye mom."

"Now that wasn't so bad now was it?" Eddie asked with a self-satisfied grin and Janet just glared at him.

"Oh by the way the lunch has changed to dinner at a fancy restaurant that requires a shirt and tie." Janet gloated. Eddie hated wearing ties and she was going to rub it in.

"I think I can suck it up."

"I hate you." She growled and Eddie just grinned as he pulled her into his arms. When he kissed her she stubbornly didn't respond but he was not a man to give up. He continued to kiss her and eventually he felt her body begin to relax followed by her lips and she was quickly responding to his kiss hungrily.

"Now." Janet whispered into his ear when her hands began to unbuckle his pants. "I need you now." She shoved his pants below his hips to the floor and pushed him onto the couch.

"Janet!" He gasped when he landed, bare ass, with a thud on the couch. She has never been the aggressive one in their sexual relationship so this was taking him by total surprise and he was loving it. He jaw dropped when she shucked her jeans off, straddled his lap and slid over his erection. "Son of a bitch." He breathed out when she began pumping herself rapidly over him.

"A little help here." She panted. Taking his hands she placed them under her shirt that she was still wearing on her bare hips. The sensation of her bare skin mixed with fabric drove Eddie insane and suddenly she wasn't moving fast enough. He gripped her hips tightly and began bucking himself roughly inside of her. A slow smile crossed her face, she closed her eyes and dug her nails into his shoulders through his tee shirt and met his thrusts with pure joy.

"Am I hurting you?" He grunted.

"Harder." She groaned.

"Janet?" He questioned. He was already pumping into her pretty hard.

"Harder! Faster." She demanded breathlessly. Because of his current position he really couldn't go much harder or faster, so without pulling out he awkwardly adjusted their positions until she was on her back on the couch and he was above her on his knees.

"Are you sure?"

"God…YES." He pushed her legs out as far as they would go and then he slammed into her over and over as fast as he could while she yelped in pleasure with every stroke. It didn't take long before she was convulsing in pleasure and he was exploding inside of her.

"Did I hurt you?" He whispered gently. He was terrified that he had because he really was rough.

"Hell no. That was exactly what I needed."

"What the hell got into you?" He reached out and pulled her to her feet. They were both covered in sweat and they needed a shower.

"I don't know. I just got really horny suddenly and slow sex just wasn't going to cut it."

"Baby that was damn hot. We need to do that again." He said with a grin.

"I'll see what I can do." She said pulling him into the shower with her.

For the next two days the newlywed couple explored every possible inch of the Smithsonian's in D.C. They absorbed every possible bit of information that they could and they loved every minute of it. If they could have spent another week going through the museums they would have.

"Maybe she forgot." Janet said hopefully. They were at L'Tureve waiting for Janet's mom to show up.

"She didn't forgot. I'm sure she's just running late."

"Damn." Eddie reached for her hand.

"Why aren't you drinking that ridiculously expensive wine?" He asked her gently.

"My stomach is still queasy." She had been nauseated all day.

"Janet, sweetheart it's just your mom. There really is no reason to be so worked up."

"I know. I can't help it." She gave him a small smile and he leaned over and quickly kissed her.

"I gotta take a leak. Try not to get into any trouble while I'm gone." He instructed.

"I'll try."

As she sat alone and waited she thought of her relationship with her mother. For as long as she could remember she and her mother had a stormy relationship and her father was always the buffer between them. When her mother would get on her case about her weight her dad would always be there to tell her that she was beautiful just the way she was. No matter what Janet did she always felt that it was never good enough for her mother.

When Josh Meadows died Sharon and Janet were both heartbroken and kept that pain to themselves. The last six months that Janet spent in high school they hardly spoke. They had lost their buffer and even though they still had each other they felt utterly alone. Sharon missed her best friend and lover and Janet missed the man who had complete and total faith in her; the man who loved her unconditionally.

"I'm sorry that I'm late." Sharon gushed.

"It's no problem." Janet stood and the two women awkwardly embraced.

"So where is this husband of yours?"

"Bathroom."

"Are you enjoying your trip?"

"Yeah. The museums were amazing. Have you ever been?"

"No I haven't. I just don't have time."

"Of course you don't." Janet mumbled under her breath.

"Janet you know how I feel about mumbling. It's rude and…"

"Here comes Eddie." Janet interrupted the beginning of the lecture.

"Where?" Janet felt tears spring to her eyes. Eddie was the only person walking towards them.

"The only guy walking over here."

"Really?" Sharon said in a surprised tone.

"Yes mom, really. What the hell did you expect, some fat slob?"

"Janet Edith...please don't be so rude." Sharon chastised.

"Mrs. Meadows. I'm Eddie Latekka. It's a pleasure meeting you." Eddie said flashing a charming smile her way.

"It's nice to meet you as well. I'm starving. Have you ordered yet?" Sharon asked them

"No we were waiting for you." Sharon raised her hand, snapped her fingers and the waiter came right over to take their orders.

"Nice." Eddie said with a grin and Janet just rolled her eyes.

Throughout the meal Eddie and Sharon carried on a light conversation while Janet just picked at her food. Eddie had a constant grip on Janet's hand reminding her that he was there with her.

"So Janet, how did your husband propose?" Sharon ask

"Actually mom I was the one who asked Eddie to marry me."

"Very funny Janet." Sharon was not smiling.

"I'm not trying to be funny mom."

"So you are pregnant then aren't you?"

"No mom. I'm not pregnant." Janet said softly.

"Then why on earth did you propose? Don't you think that you put Eddie in an awkward position by forcing him to say yes?"

"Forcing him to say yes?"

"Janet if he really wanted to marry you I'm sure that he would have asked you but by you asking him you made him say yes because it would have been rude not to."

"Okay he is sitting right here." Eddie spoke up. "And he wanted to marry Janet, more then anything. Janet just beat me to proposing."

"It's just not right…not normal." Sharon mumbled. "It's the man who should be the one who proposes."

"Times change mom."

"They certainly do. The daughter I remember would never have proposed to a man like this." Eddie cringed.

"Love changed me mom."

"I can see that. It looks like you are taking better care of yourself. Are you on a diet because I've noticed that you have hardly eaten your dinner?"

"No mom. I'm not on a diet." Janet snapped. "Excuse me. I need to use the ladies room." Before anyone could respond Janet was rushing away from the table.

"Okay Sharon we need to have a chat." Eddie said turning to his mother in law. "I love that woman who just walked away from this table in tears. I love her more than anything and seeing her hurt does not make me happy."

"I don't mean to hurt her."

"You do Sharon. You hurt her with your snide little comments about her weight; the look of shock on your face when you realized I was her husband or hinting that I would only marry Janet because I felt cornered in to it because she proposed or she was pregnant. I love Janet. She is the most beautiful woman that I have ever laid eyes on and I wanted to marry her. I wanted to become her husband and I promise you Sharon that I am going to love that amazing, wonderful, precious woman for the rest of my life."

"Janet and I…we just never got along."

"As her husband I can't let you hurt her anymore. You two are family and she is going to need you."

"What does that mean?"

"It just means that both of you need to try to get along; attempt to have a relationship."

"We have a relationship Edward."

"It's just Eddie and what you two have, I wouldn't call a relationship. You know, she was really disappointed that you didn't come to the wedding."

"She should have given me more notice. I am a very busy woman." Sharon said.

"That would take away from the whole spur of the moment idea." Eddie muttered. He couldn't win with this woman. "Just think about giving her a call every once in a while when it's not her birthday or Christmas."

"What about Christmas?" Janet asked returning to her seat.

"I was just asking your mom what her plans were because if she doesn't have any she should come and spend it with us." Eddie said staring at Sharon.

"I'll let you know closer to the holidays but it sounds like a nice idea." Janet stared at her mother. Who was this woman sitting across from her? It sure as hell wasn't her mother.

"Will you be having dessert?" Their waiter asked and the three of them shook their heads.

"But I will take the check please." Sharon said. The waiter nodded and disappeared.

"Mom, we'll get dinner." Janet said

"No it's my treat. Consider it a wedding gift oh and speaking of gifts." Sharon reached into her purse and handed Janet a bank book.

"Oh my God." Janet opened it and saw that the balance in the account was around ten thousand dollars. "What the hell is this mom?"

"That is the money that your father and I saved for your wedding and college. Since you never went to college and you had a Vegas wedding I guess that this money is yours to do with as you wish."

"Mom I can't take this. It's a hell of a lot of money."

"We saved it for you so technically it belongs to you."

"Mom I…"

"Janet your dad would want you to have it." Sharon knew that telling Janet that Josh wanted her to have the money would convince her to keep it.

"Thanks mom." Janet didn't know what else to say.

"You're welcome. Maybe it will come in handy."

After Sharon paid the bill the three of them walked outside to the waiting cab. Janet and Sharon awkwardly embraced and then Eddie embraced Sharon. "Call her." He whispered before they broke apart.

"I'm sorry Janet." Eddie said once he gave the cab driver the name of their hotel. "I know it wasn't easy for you and I'm sorry I forced this visit on you."

"Don't be sorry. It went pretty much as I expected. As usual she reminded me how much I've disappointed her."

"Janet that's not true."

"Oh but it is. I proposed to you when I should have waited for you to propose. I never went to college and I didn't have a proper wedding. I'm just a giant disappointment but I've learned to live with it."

"Sweetheart…" Eddie tightened his arm around Janet's shoulder.

"I don't want to talk about her anymore."

"How is your stomach?"

"Still a little upset but I'll live." She suddenly sat up out of his embrace. "Excuse me? Can you stop at the drugstore on the right?" She asked the cab driver.

"What's wrong?"

"I just remembered that I need shampoo."

"Okay." The cab pulled into the parking lot.

"I'll run in real quick. Do you need anything?" Eddie shook his head and Janet quickly kissed him. "I'll be right back."

Once inside the store Janet made a beeline for the pharmacy where the pregnancy tests were kept. During dinner when her mother mentioned that the reason for the marriage was a pregnancy it got Janet thinking. She thought that maybe the queasiness that she has had all day may be a little more then her nerves and she realized that she had not had her period since she and Eddie made love for the first time; not since she found out that he was dying.

Both of them have been tested negative for STD's and HIV so they opted not to use condoms and just relied on Janet's birth control pills. She always takes her birth control pill before bed and the night that Eddie told her about his cancer she was so upset and there was so much on her mind that she forgot to take her pill. The next night she had taken two but now she was wondering if the effectiveness of the pill was decreased because of her error.

She had always assumed that since Eddie was sick that they would never have kids but now that she might be pregnant she wasn't sure how she felt about it. There were way too many thoughts going through her head right now to even begin to try to sort out her feelings. The only thing she knew for sure was that she wouldn't tell Eddie until she was holding a positive result in her hand and if it was negative she wouldn't tell him at all.

When she got to the checkout line she realized that she didn't have the shampoo in her hand so she ran to aisle 3, grabbed a bottle and returned to the checkout. She didn't want to linger in the store for very long and arouse suspicion. Before leaving the store she shoved the receipt and the pregnancy test in her purse and then returned to the cab.

"Did you get it?" Eddie asked

"I sure did." She gave him a big smile as she settled back into the crook of his shoulder.

"You okay hon?" Janet lifted her head and kissed him gently.

"I love you Eddie. You know that don't you?" She asked when they broke apart.

"Of course I know that."

"By asking you to marry me did I force you to do something that you didn't want to do?"

"Absolutely not. Janet I told you why I didn't propose and it had nothing to do with you or my feelings for you. I love you so damn much and I'm glad that we got married. I do not regret it." He placed a hand on her cheek. "Never ever doubt what we have and what I feel for you."

"I don't and I won't." She whispered pressing her lips to his until they arrived back at their hotel.

"Eddie are you sleeping?" Janet asked. She waited for an answer but all she heard was snoring so she carefully extracted herself from his arms, climbed out of the bed, grabbed Eddie's tee shirt off of the floor, slipped it over her head, grabbed her purse and closed herself in the bathroom.

With shaking hands she pulled the pregnancy test out of her purse and read the directions. When she read every bit of information that came with the test she reread it all again. This was too important to risk making a mistake. Once she was confident in the directions she peed on the stick and began to wait. According to the directions it could take up to three minutes for results. Her grandmother used to say 'A watched pot never boils' but Janet could help herself. With a pounding heart she stared at the stick in her hand and waited and waited until finally the stick began to change colors. First one pink line showed up and then a second line showed up and Janet knew from reading the directions, twice, that two pink lines meant that she was pregnant.

Tears fell from her eyes the instant that she saw the second pink line and she had no idea if they were happy or sad tears. She was thrilled that she was going to have a baby; that she would always have a part of Eddie in her life after he was gone but at the same time she was heartbroken that she was going to have to raise a child on her own, that this child would never know its wonderful father and Eddie would never know his child; that he would be dead before the baby is even born.

What terrified her the most was the fact that she had no idea how Eddie was going to react. Hell, how does someone react to learning that they were going to have a child that they were never going to know? Eddie would never have the opportunity to hold his child, hear his child's first words, hear his child call him daddy; he'll never even know what their baby looks like.

This should be one of the of the happiest times of her life, of both of their lives but right now all Janet could feel was heartbreak. Heartbreak for herself, heartbreak for her husband and heartbreak for the child that had yet to be born, the child that would never know his or her wonderful daddy and that alone broke her heart.

After she calmed herself down she put the positive pregnancy test in her purse and returned to bed and Eddie's arms but she didn't sleep. She spent the night reliving the past few months as Eddie's girlfriend, lover, and finally wife and then imagining the future she had left with Eddie and the future with their child without Eddie. By the time the sun rose she had decided that she would tell Eddie about their baby when they got home that way they could talk about it in the privacy of their own home.

"Morning sweetheart." Eddie mumbled with a yawn.

"Good morning." Janet said leaning forward to kiss him. "You're up early." She commented when they broke apart.

"I guess I just needed to make love to my beautiful wife before we fly out of here." He said rolling on top of her. "Is that okay with her?"

"It's more than okay." She whispered pulling his face towards her. "I love you Eddie."

"I love you Janet." Their lips descended on each other and they started their day, together as one in body, heart, and soul.

_**Thanks for reading. Please review with your thoughts. I really do appreciate it. **_

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	10. Chapter 10

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Eddie Latekka you are being kidnapped. If you proceed out of this airport without making a scene and your wife is able to come up with out ransom demands then you will be returned to her in one piece." Owen said in a very deep menacing tone as he wrapped Eddie's arms behind his back.

"What the hell O?" Eddie looked around and saw Ikey and Nick on either side of him and Phil in front of him with a video camera. He also saw Hannah, Allison, Pizza Girl, Katie and his mom standing around with huge smiles on their faces.

"Do you want to see your beautiful wife again?" Owen asked and Eddie nodded. "Then remember what I said. No scene and no questions."

"You didn't say anything about no questions." Eddie quipped.

"Latekka." Owen growled.

"Okay fine."

"Here is everything that you will need to properly kidnap him." Janet told Nick handing him her carry on. She had packed him dry clothes, swim trunks, towels and his medications.

"You knew?" Eddie gasped and Owen tightened his grip on his friend's arms.

"May I kiss the kidnap victim goodbye? I may not be able to come up with the ransom and I may never see him again." Janet asked sweetly.

"I suppose." Owen released Eddie. "But don't make a run for it cause I've got my eyes on you." Janet took Eddie's hand and led him away from the group.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked her.

"I didn't want to ruin your surprise. The guys are really excited about today."

"What are we doing?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Are they now?" He asked with a grin, leaning towards her for a kiss.

"Well maybe not." He crushed his lips to hers and kissed her passionately. He shoved his tongue inside of her mouth, caressing the roof and cheeks, causing her to shiver until Owen came and pulled him away.

"Have fun babe." Janet called as her husband was led away.

"Help me." He called back with a smile. He knew whatever the guys had in store for him, it would definitely be fun.

--

"Dude you have spent more time on your ass then on the actual board." Ikey said with a grin as he helped Eddie back up. They were at the indoor water park, at the surfing simulation and everyone, even his dad, had managed to stay on their board, everyone except for Eddie. Instead of standing back up Eddie yanked Ikey down in the water with him.

"Now who is on his ass?" Eddie said laughing. The lifeguard blew his whistle and motioned for the two overgrown boys to remove themselves from the pool.

"You might as well give it up Eddie." Owen chided.

"Hell no. If you baboons can do it then I sure the hell can." With a newfound determination Eddie grabbed his surfboard and got in line again followed by Nick.

"How was the honeymoon?" Nick asked as they waited in line.

"It was great. We jumped off a bridge, we did some white water rafting and D.C., man it was totally amazing. The museums were like nothing I have ever seen before. Nick you need to take the time to go. You will not regret it."

"I've heard. And the sex? Did you guys have sex?"

"Hell yeah. Lots of amazing sex. I never knew that sex could be so damn good."

"I'm so jealous."

"What goes on with you and Hannah Jane?" Eddie asked. He wanted to his friend be as happy as he was.

"We're progressing."

"What the hell does that mean? Progressing?"

"It means that she wants to take it slow. She doesn't want to jump right back to where we left off ten years ago because I broke her heart so we are staring over."

"That kinda sucks."

"It does but it doesn't. We have both changed a lot over the years so we are getting to know each other again which is really good and in the process I'm getting to know my son."

"I want things to work out for you Nicky. I really do. I am so happy with Janet and I want you to experience the same thing."

"I want that to. When I said I was jealous I wasn't just talking about all the sex that you are getting."

"Are you jealous that I'm dying of cancer?"

"Not funny Eddie. I'm jealous that you have found the love of your life."

"Good. You should be because it freaking rocks." It was Eddie's turn. "All right. I am going to do this." He took his surfboard and this time he was able to stay up his entire time. When he walked out of the pool his friends and dad all gave him a round of applause.

"Thank you. Thank you all very much." Eddie said taking a bow. "I need a break. How about the lazy river?"

"Let's do it." Phil said. The guys ran like kids over to the lazy river, receiving many odd looks from other patrons along the way. The grabbed their tubes and bounded into the river.

"Ikey get over here. We need to have a chat." Eddie said as they all floated down the river. He grinned as Ikey paddled over to him.

"What's up dude?"

"What's going on with you and Katie?"

"What…um…what are you…talking about?" Ikey stuttered.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. At the airport you guys were standing right next to each other and you were whispering and giving each other looks."

"I drove past your parent's house and I saw that they were moving her stuff so I stopped by and gave them a hand. After we were done I took her out to dinner and we stayed until the restaurant closed. Afterwards we went to the park and stayed out talking till the sun rose just talking." Ikey explained, somewhat fearfully. When Katie lived in town before Eddie always made it perfectly clear that Katie was off limits to his friends, which is why Ikey has made no attempt to kiss her even though he really wanted to.

"Ikey, you are one of my best friends."

"But?"

"But you can't date my sister. I have seen how you are with woman and you have no desire for a serious relationship and Katie…well Katie is just the opposite of you. She isn't a casual kind of girl. She wants a serious relationship. She wants marriage and kids. She wants it all and when you don't or can't give that to her she will be heartbroken. I'm sorry Ik but you can't date Katie."

"I know what I've been like in the past but I think I can change. Hell, man you changed. You never used to be with a woman for more than two weeks and now you're married. If you can change why can't I?" Ikey had a valid point.

"I don't want my sister to be the one that you try to change on."

"Eddie it's different. I have never talked to a woman before like I talked to Katie. That first night I was so disappointed when the sun came up because I didn't want the conversation to end and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her."

"What did you talk about?" Eddie asked softly. In all the years that he had known Ikey, he had never seen this side of him before.

"You, her life in Georgia, my life, hell man we talked about everything. It was amazing."

"Have you kissed her?" Ikey shook his head. "Why not?"

"Because I knew that you didn't want me to date her but believe me man, I really wanted to." They floated in silence for a few minutes before Eddie spoke again.

"If she wants to date your scrubby ass then I guess I'm okay with it but I swear to God, I may be dying of cancer but if you hurt her I will kick your sorry ass. Do I make myself clear?"

"Perfectly and I swear I won't hurt her."

"You better not." Eddie reached out and shook his friend's hand.

--

Janet and Eddie were sitting in the tub that was filled with bubbles sharing slow, sweet kisses when they heard knocking at their hotel room. "I'm going to kill them." Eddie mumbled into her neck where is tongue was currently licking. Janet let out a small moan when his hand cupped her breast.

"Maybe you should answer it." Janet suggested softly, biting her lip to keep from moaning again when he pinched her nipple.

"Maybe we should ignore it. I told them I would call them when we were ready."

"Eddie go answer the door. It's rude to keep them out there." Janet knew it wasn't his friends at the door.

"You go answer the door."

"It's easier for you. All you have to do is put on a robe."

"That's all you have to do."

"No. I have to wrap my hair up. Just go."

"Fine." Janet sat up and Eddie reluctantly pulled himself out of the tub, wrapped himself in a robe and grumbled his way to answer the door. "I thought I told you that I would…Sully what the hell are you doing here?"

"Have you had breakfast yet?"

"You came all the way to Boston to ask me if I've had breakfast?"

"No. There is something that you and I need to do but I haven't eaten yet and if you haven't eaten yet then I thought that we could have breakfast."

"What about Janet?"

"I think that she may already have plans."

"Umm okay. Give me fifteen minutes. Would you like to come in?"

"No. I'll meet you in the lobby." Eddie nodded, somewhat confused while Sully walked away. He shut the door and returned to the bathroom where Janet was getting out of the tub.

"You knew that Sully was coming this morning didn't you?" He accused playfully.

"Yes I did."

"Where are we going?"

"I've been sworn to secrecy."

"Nothing I could do to get you to change your mind?" He untied her robe and ran his hands skillfully over her body. She removed his hands and retied her robe.

"Nope. You better get ready. You know that Sully doesn't like to be kept waiting."

"How about a hint?" He begged following her out of the bathroom.

"You'll have fun." She said with a wink.

--

"Oh my God. I can't believe that I actually flew a plane. I mean I really did it." Eddie rambled excitedly. "For one whole hour I flew a plane by myself. It was one of the coolest things that I have ever done. My god, I really wish that Janet could have seen me. She would have been amazed. If I wasn't dying I would seriously consider a change of careers and become a pilot because I was that damn good. Sully how the hell did you know?" It was the first time that Eddie had quit talking since they left the airport.

"One night at the bar I overheard the guys talking about your list and what was on it so I made some arrangements." Sully simply said.

"When I made my list I didn't think that I would actually be able to accomplish everything that was on it. It was more like a wish list. Sul, how can I ever begin to thank you?"

"You don't need to thank me. You are like a son to me Eddie and I wanted to do this."

"After I'm gone can you watch out for Janet? She trusts you and she will listen to you. She'll need all the love and support she can get to get through it."

"You know I will." Sully responded sadly.

"What are we doing here?" Eddie asked when Sully pulled into the employee parking lot of Fenway Park.

"Isn't there something on your list about this place?" Eddie's eyes grew wide.

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"Nope."

"But how?"

"An old Navy buddy of mine works the grounds here and he owed me a favor."

"I wish the guys and Janet was here." Eddie said wistfully.

"Your wish may just come true." Sully laughed as Eddie became like a child again, anxious and excited. He rolled down the window and stuck his head out taking in all that there was to see. As soon as the truck was parked Eddie flew out and was dancing around impatiently.

"Come on old man." Eddie joked.

"Go through that door and follow the signs to the field. I'll catch up." Eddie started to jog away but when he got to the door he stopped, turned around and jogged back to Sully. "You okay?" Eddie answered his friend by grabbing him in a giant bear hug.

"Thank you so much." Eddie said tearfully as Sully squeezed him back.

"You are very welcome." Sully responded tearfully.

The two men walked together to the field, taking in everything around them. Eddie could not believe that he was walking through the part of Fenway Park that only the players ever got to go through. This was a dream come true for him. Even though the season was over and the locker room was empty it still was an amazing sight. When and he Sully stepped out of the locker room and into the dugout and Eddie saw his friends and family waiting for him he could no longer hold in the tears. Janet walked up to him and wrapped her arms around is waist and he buried his head in her neck.

"Janet…I…unbelievable." He mumbled.

"Shhh. It's okay." She lifted his tear stained face to hers. "No more tears. This is supposed to be a happy day." He nodded and wiped his face. "Good now let's play." They quickly pressed their lips to each other and then turned to their friends to start the game.

Everyone but Sully, who claimed he had a bad back, participated in the game. Everyone knew, with this crowd that this would be anything but a normal game of baseball. Eddie and Katie were made team captains and due to the flip of the coin Katie chose first and she chose Janet.

"Hey you can't pick my wife for your team." Eddie shouted at his sister.

"There is no rule against that." Katie shot back with a smirk.

"You're going down little sister."

"Bring it on big brother." And thus began the craziest game of baseball any of them had ever experienced.

The first inning was played relatively normal; three strikes; three outs per team. After that first inning Eddie began to feel mischievous. He figured that he was only going to be on the field of Fenway Park one time in his life and he was going to have fun while he was here so he started changing the rules. If someone could hit the ball they only got one strike. If they player wasn't so good they got as many swings as needed until the ball was hit. Since Eddie decided to change the rules everyone else did as well and eventually it wasn't a game at all. It was just a bunch of friends having the time of their lives. At one point when Janet made it to second base, the base that Eddie was covering, he decided that she was not moving on so he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly until Nick brought the ball over and tagged her out. The next time Eddie made a hit Katie got him back by jumping on his back and Eddie had to run all the way home while he gave his sister a piggyback ride.

The baseball game soon turned into a baseball/football game. The guys tackled each other to keep the bases clear. Janet hit a ball to the outfield that would have easily been a homeroom but Eddie tackled her to the ground and sat on her until his mom retrieved the ball and tossed it to her son so he could tag her out. Of course Katie wasn't going to let that slide so when Eddie was rounding the bases again she jumped on his back and Pizza girl dove to the ground and grabbed his ankles and they were able to slow him down enough so Janet could tag him out. Two hours later, they were all thoroughly exhausted so they called it quits with no true winner. The day ended with a group of great friends that had one of the best days of their lives.

--

"Hi Eddie, Janet. How was the trip?" Dr. Turner asked with a grin when he walked into the room.

"It was awesome." Eddie reached over, grabbed Janet's hand and held it up, proudly displaying their wedding rings. "We got married."

"Congratulations. I am really happy for you both." Dr. Turner said sincerely.

"So doc what did my MRI show?" Eddie asked jumping right into the reason for his visit.

"No new spots since your last MRI in Vegas but the newest spot that was discovered in Vegas has grown a quarter of a centimeter while the others have remained stable."

"Is that bad?" Janet asked

"Well it's not horrible but the cancer is still growing." Janet wiped a stray tear away. "Eddie, last week a new chemo drug was put on the market that I think that you will benefit from." Dr. Turner said.

"I told you that I don't want chemo."

"It's not the traditional chemo. It's was made for people like you who don't want traditional chemotherapy. During the clinical trials it stopped the growth of the cancer in 75% of the cases for 4-6 months."

"I'm listening." Eddie said. Dr. Turner launched into how the medication worked, all of the technical jargon but what it really boiled down to was, it chemo in a pill form.

"Side effects?" Eddie asked.

"During the first week maybe two you will have the classic chemo effects, the nausea, vomiting, weakness, no appetite, fatigue, but after that the rough stuff it goes away and you are left with fatigue, some mild weakness, loss of appetite and possible erectile dysfunction."

"Excuse me? Did you say erectile dysfunction?" Dr. Turner nodded. "Nope. Sorry not doing it."

"Eddie please."

"Not happening."

"How about I give you guys a few minutes and something else to think about, the erectile dysfunction may be from the medication or it may be from the cancer and if it does happen there is medication that you can take to return blood flow to your penis." Dr. Turner smiled at them and walked out of the room.

"Are you really not going to take the new medicine because you might be able to get it up anymore?" Janet asked.

"I'm not."

"You're crazy."

"I'm not. I really, really, really love making love to you and if that is taken away what the hell is the point?"

"So what if you can't have sex? The point is you'll be alive Eddie. Four to six more months. Don't you want that?" Janet had tears streaming down her face.

"I do sweetheart."

"Then take the God damned medicine."

"But what if I…"

"The doctor said that there are medications that you can take Eddie."

"I'm not even thirty years old. I shouldn't have to take medication to have sex with my wife."

"Well you shouldn't be dying either but you are." Janet reached for his hand. "I love making love to you but I love you so much more and if giving up sex or waiting for a pill to take effect is what I have to do to have you around for six more months then dammit I am willing to do it. I'll do anything to keep you around longer." She stood up, cupped her hand around his face and kissed him softly. "Please Eddie, please take the medicine." She begged him tearfully.

"I'll do it."

--

"Mom don't get your hopes up. Dr. Turner said it might not work."

"But it might." Laura said tearfully. Eddie and Janet were on their way home from Boston and Eddie promised his mom that he would call her as soon as his appointment was over.

"Yeah mom it might."

"Do you two want to come over for dinner tonight?" Eddie was torn. He did want to see his parents because according to the doctor for the next couple of weeks he was going to be so sick he wouldn't be able to get out of bed but he also wanted to stay at home with his wife and have lots of sex before his penis stopped working. In the end he couldn't break his mother's heart and he put his penis on the back burner.

"Yeah we'll come over." He looked at Janet who nodded.

"Six thirty?"

"Okay. We'll see you then." Eddie disconnected his cell. "Is it okay that we are going over there?"

"Of course it is."

"I wonder if she invited Ikey. That would just suck." They both laughed and continued the remainder of the drive in comfortable conversation.

"I can't believe that we are home. These last two weeks have been surreal." Janet commented as they walked into their home for the first time as man and wife.

"Can we talk?" Eddie asked softly

"Of course." He led her to the couch.

"I was going to do it this week but since I'm going to be sick it will have to wait but when I'm better I need to go to the funeral home and to the hospice care center and I would like you to come with me."

"Why?"

"Why? Because I'm dying Janet."

"I know that." She snapped.

"I want to plan my funeral…you know pick out my casket, my plot, gravestone so you don't have to worry about it."

"Why hospice? I can take care of you."

"I know you can sweetheart but we don't know how bad things will get and I don't want to die at here. I don't want you living with that memory. Will you go with me?"

"You have more time now. You don't have to do it right away." She pleaded. Picking out his casket with him would make everything so…final and real.

"We don't if the medication doesn't work. I'm going to do this with or without you but I really want to do this with you. Please baby?" She nodded through her tears. "Thank you." He whispered kissing her softly. "Now we have a few hours before we have to be at mom and dads so how about we…" He motioned with his head upstairs.

"Not yet. There is something that you need to see and something that we have to talk about." Janet wanted to tell him about their baby in a romantic setting but she couldn't wait any longer. Keeping this secret was driving her crazy. She grabbed her purse off of the floor next to her, pulled out the pregnancy test and with a shaking hand, handed to her husband.

As Eddie stared at the pregnancy test in his hand he wanted to be happy, he wanted that more than anything but he couldn't make himself feel happy. The only thing he felt was anger. Anger at himself for getting Janet pregnant, anger at Janet for getting pregnant, and for the first time since the diagnosis he was furious with his cancer. Even if this medicine worked there was no way that he would be around to see his child born and it wasn't fair. He couldn't take his anger out on himself or obviously his cancer so he took it out on the only person he could; the woman standing in front of him; the woman he loved more than anything and the worst thing about it was he couldn't stop himself.

"What the hell is this?" He growled

"It's a pregnancy test." She whispered seeing the anger in his eyes.

"How the hell could you be so selfish?" He yelled and she burst into tears.

_**Thanks for reading. Please review. **_


	11. Chapter 11

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Did you even think about talking to me about what I wanted before you went and got yourself knocked up?" Eddie snapped glaring at Janet.

"Whoa there Latekka. I didn't get knocked up by myself." Janet snapped back through her tears.

"I thought that you were on the damn pill." His voice was growing louder.

"I am."

"LIAR." He shouted and Janet sobbed harder. "If you were on the pill like you said then you wouldn't be pregnant now would you?" Eddie couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth but he couldn't stop them.

"Accidents happen."

"Accident my ass Janet. How long have you known?" Janet looked at the floor. "How long Janet?" Eddie fumed.

"I took the test our last night in D.C." She mumbled through her tears.

"Three days. You have known for three days and you haven't said one god damned word. Why Janet? Why didn't you tell me sooner?" She opened her mouth to explain that she wanted to tell him in the most romantic setting possible but Eddie didn't give her a chance. "Wait I think I've figured it out. You were never going to tell me were you?"

"Of course I was going to tell you. I did tell you."

"You figured that I would be dead before you even started to show but now with this new medicine I might be around long enough to notice that you're knocked up so you had to tell me."

"EDDIE!"

"Or maybe the kid isn't even mine. Maybe you were screwing around before you and I started screwing around and that's why you weren't telling me because the kid ain't mine." Those words hurt her more than she thought possible. Before she could stop herself she raised her hand and slapped him hard across the face.

"You son of a bitch. How dare you? You know me better then what you have accused me of."

"No Janet I thought I knew you but I have no idea who the hell you are." Eddie stormed over to the table by the front door, grabbed his truck keys and Janet's jeep keys out of the dish and threw open the door.

"Where are you going?"

"None of your damn business."

"Eddie you know that you can't drive." Janet shouted as he got into the drivers seat. Eddie ignored her, started the jeep and pulled out of the driveway without a backwards glance.

--

Two hours later Eddie still hadn't returned home. Even though Janet was furious with him she was still worried. She was afraid that he may have had a seizure and is lying helpless somewhere and since he took both sets of keys she had no way of going to look for him. The guys had all called for him so she knew he wasn't with them and she called and found out that he wasn't at Sully's She really didn't want to get his parents involved but he had left her with no choice. She grabbed her phone and dialed her father in law.

"Hello?"

"Jack it's Janet."

"Hi honey. What's up?"

"I…uhhh…I need Eddie's spare truck key. Can you run it over to me?"

"Sure. Did he lock his keys in his truck?"

"Not exactly."

"I'll be over in a few."

Janet went and waited anxiously out on the porch for Jack to bring over the spare key. Ten minutes later Jack pulled into the driveway and Janet rushed to his truck. "Thank you so much Jack."

"Janet where is your jeep?" Jack asked looking around and then back at Janet in time to see her eyes fill with tears. "Where is Eddie?"

"We got into a horrible fight and he left in my jeep taking his truck keys with him. He's been gone for hours and I'm worried about him. What about if he had a seizure and he is lying unconscious somewhere?" Tears were rolling down her cheeks. Jack put an encouraging arm around Janet's shoulder.

"The Ridge is a small town and I'm sure we would have heard if something happened to him." Janet nodded. "I think I know where he is. Let me find him and bring him home okay?"

"I should go with you."

"I think it would be better if I go alone and have a little father and son time but don't worry. I'll bring him home to you." Jack kissed her forehead.

"Thank you and I'm sorry for dragging you into this. I just was so worried about him."

"You have nothing to apologize for. That's what family is for."

--

Jack pulled into the high school parking lot and parked right next to Janet's jeep. Whenever Eddie was in high school and they had gotten into a fight or he had a problem that he needed to sort out he always came to the football field. He said that the quiet and solitude helped put things into perspective. Jack quickly called Janet to let her know that he found Eddie and then he headed out to the field.

"She couldn't leave you out of it could she?" Eddie mumbled as Jack sat next to him

"She's worried about you and she should be. She called me to get the spare to your truck so she could look for you since you practically stole her car and you aren't supposed to be driving."

"Well as you can see I'm perfectly fine."

"Wanna talk about it?" Jack asked.

"There is nothing to talk about pop. I really screwed up I said some horrible things to my wife…really bad and I don't think that I can fix it."

"They were just words Eddie."

"Horrible words dad. She slapped me so hard across the face that she left her handprint on my cheek so if I were her I wouldn't forgive me."

"She slapped you?" A shocked Jack asked with a smirk.

"I deserved it." Eddie looked at his dad with tears streaming down his face. "I lost her dad and it's all my fault."

"What the hell happened son?"

"Janet's pregnant." Jack was silent for a minute.

"That's wonderful Eddie."

"It is for Janet. She'll have a part of me after I'm gone."

"So what's the problem?"

"The problem is I'll be dead before the baby is even born. I'll never get to know my child. I'll never be its father." Eddie broke down in sobs and Jack took his son in his arms and held him tightly while he cried.

"I'm sorry Eddie. I am so sorry."

"It's not fair dad." Eddie said once he calmed down. "I should be happy and I am but I am so much more pissed then I am happy."

"I understand."

"No you don't dad. You're not dying. You got to be a dad to me and Katie and I'll never get that chance." Eddie shouted standing and walking down off of the bleachers and onto the football field. "I am so pissed off that I have cancer and that cancer is taking away my chance to live a long happy life with Janet and to be a father to my child and dammit it's not fair."

"It's okay to be mad Eddie. You are having a lot being taken away from you."

"I don't give a shit if it's okay or not. I'm mad as hell and who do I take it out on?" His father stood there and let him yell. "I took it out on Janet. It's not her fault that I have cancer and I'm dying but when she told me that she was pregnant I lost it and took all of my anger about having cancer on Janet when she didn't do anything wrong."

"We always hurt those that we love."

"Well I did a damn good job of that." Eddie said miserably. "Dad I'm going to be a dad and…" Eddie collapsed on the ground in sobs again, unable to finish his sentence.

"Oh god Eddie." Jack's heart was breaking for his son. He knelt on the ground next to him and attempted to soothe him.

"Don't…touch…me." He cried so Jack just sat next to him until he calmed down. "What if I lost her for good?"

"I don't think you did. She loves you too much to walk away from you."

"You didn't hear what I said to her."

"Well the only way to find out is to man up and go home."

"I'm scared." Eddie admitted. "I'm ashamed and I don't know if I can face her."

"Eddie I have always taught you to face your problems head on and you have never backed down from them so don't start now." Jack said wisely.

"You're right dad." Eddie pulled himself off the ground and wrapped his arms around his dad.

"I'm going to follow you back home and don't worry about coming over for dinner tonight. I'll talk to your mom."

"Please don't tell her about the baby. Not yet. Not until I fix things with Janet…if I can."

"Your secret is safe with me."

--

Eddie's stomach was in knots as he slowly walked into the house. He had no idea what to except. Walking into the living room he found his wonderful wife sitting on the couch, eyes red and swollen, holding a coffee cup, staring at the wall in front of her.

"Hey Janet." He mumbled sitting beside her.

"Eddie."

"Should you be drinking coffee? I thought caffeine should be avoided while you're pregnant."

"It's decaf but why should you care since the baby might not be yours." Janet snapped.

"Look about that Janet I…"

"No Eddie I don't want to hear it right now." Janet placed her coffee cup down and stood. "You had your say earlier and now you will listen to me."

"Of course Janet."

"You said some really, really mean and hurtful things. How dare you, Eddie Latekka, accuse me of sleeping with another man when we were together? I thought you knew me better then that."

"I did. I do. I…"

"Hey I'm not done." Eddie closed his mouth and let her talk. "I had every intention of telling you about our child. I wasn't keeping it from you. I wanted to tell you with a very romantic dinner, candles and maybe a card but I wanted to do it here in our home. I thought that it would be more special then some strange hotel room." Eddie nodded.

"On our last night in D.C. mom mentioned me being pregnant and it got me thinking. I realized that I hadn't had a period since before we made love for the first time. I bought a pregnancy test and took it after you fell asleep and it was positive." Her tears were flowing freely. "I was so happy and heartbroken at the same time but you didn't bother to ask me how I felt did you?"

"I should have."

"You're damn right you should have." Janet walked into the dining room and returned a few minutes and threw her pack of birth control pills at him. "As for your second accusation, open the pack."

"Janet I don't need to open the pack."

"Open the damned pack." She shouted and he did. "As you can see I'm not a liar. I took my pills everyday until I found out that I was pregnant. The birth control pill is only 98-99% effective when taken correctly. Our first night together when you told me that you were dying I was so upset and then you got a headache I forgot to my pill that night. The next day I took two, like I was supposed to but it must not have worked."

"Sweetheart." Eddie stood and placed his hand on Janet's shoulder but she shrugged him off.

"Don't touch me." She yelled. "You don't deserve to touch me right now. I trusted you and loved you with my whole heart and you broke it Eddie. No I take that back you took my heart and shattered it into a million pieces." She stormed away from him, upstairs into their bedroom and slammed the door.

Eddie was not going to let it play out like this so he followed her upstairs and into the room. He found Janet sitting on the floor, head in her hands sobbing. "Oh Janet." He rushed over to her, sat on floor next to her and to his surprise she let him take her in his arms. "I'm so sorry sweetheart." He mumbled into her hair as he ran his fingers through her curls.

"How could you be so cruel?" She cried into his chest.

"I'm angry Janet… so angry but not at you."

"Could have fooled me."

"I could spend what time I have left telling you how damn sorry I am but it will never be enough time to make up for how badly I hurt you. There is no excuse for what I did."

"Then why did you?"

"Oh baby. When I saw the pregnancy test I was happy for a split second and then I became furious. Not at you sweetheart but at the cancer. The cancer is taking away my life and killing me and if it wasn't bad enough it now it's taking me away from my child. I'm never going to know my kid and my kid is never going to know me and it's not fair. Obvisouly, I can't take out my anger on my damn cancer and you were the one in front of me. I think that it's the first time since I've been diagnosied that I was actually angry. No I'm not angry. I'm furious." From her spot on the floor next to Eddie Janet wrapped her arms around him. "Janet I am so happy that you are pregnant; that you are going to have our child in your life after I'm gone but I just hate it that I won't know our baby."

"You're right Eddie. It's not fair."

"Janet how do you feel about the baby?"

"Like you I have mixed emotions. I was and am so happy to be having your baby but at the same time my heart is breaking for you and our child because it will never know how wonderful its father is. I didn't know how you would take the news but what happened today was worse than I ever thought." She cried into his chest.

"Janet I am so very sorry for everything I said." Eddie cried. "I never thought that you were sleeping with someone else. I never thought you were a liar or selfish. You are the most unselfish person that I know. I was just so mad at the cancer I said whatever came to my mind without thinking first. I didn't mean one word that I said and I have no right to ask you but would you please forgive me?" He sobbed into her hair.

Janet didn't answer him right away. Instead she buried her face in his chest and cried softly. Before he came home she was furious with him for the way he treated her. Once she got her anger out and heard his side of the story and saw how brokenhearted he was she instantly forgave him. She knew he would never speak to her like that if he wasn't dying for cancer but she couldn't let him talk to her like that again. "Did it hurt when I slapped you?"

"Like hell. You left your handprint on my cheek."

"Good because that was the least that you deserved." She sat up, wiped her eyes and looked at her husband. "After you stole my jeep and stormed out of here I considered throwing all of your shit out on the front lawn."

"I expected to see my shit on the lawn when I got home."

"I don't care how mad you are that is no excuse for you to treat me like that. I love you Eddie but I will not tolerate it ever again."

"Janet I swear to god. I will never treat or talk to you like that ever again." Eddie said despertley through his tears. "I never ever want to hurt you like that again."

"I never want to hurt like that again." Eddie placed his fingers under her chin, lifted her face and kissed her gently. "Please baby, please say you've forgiven me." He whispered tearfully in her ear when he broke the kiss.

"I forgive you Eddie." She responded before pressing her lips to his.

When they broke apart Eddie stood, held out his hand, helped his wife to her feet, and they slowly began to undress each other while never taking their eyes off of each other. Once they were both undressed Janet turned down the bed and climbed into bed. Once Janet was settled Eddie climbed on top of her. "I love you so much and I'm so sorry." He said tearfully.

"I love you too and no more apologies. Now make love to me." Eddie's lips descended on hers at the same time that he sheathed himself inside of her. He slowly thrust himself inside of her while he kissed every piece of bare skin that he could find whispering "I love you." the whole time. When he finally climaxed inside of her he was sobbing softly. He realized how close he came to losing her and it scared him to death and at the same time made him so grateful that he hadn't lost her.

A few hours later Janet woke up to soft kisses on her abdomen. Without opening her eyes she reached down and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Hey sleepyhead." Eddie mumbled into her belly.

"You wore me out."

"I can't believe that our baby is inside you. It's amazing." He whispered running his fingers around her abdomen, causing her to giggle. "How big is it now?"

"It's very small."

"Can it hear me?"

"No not yet."

"Thank God. I'm so glad that it didn't hear me saying all of those horrible things to you."

"Eddie, you need to stop beating yourself up."

"I can't Janet. I feel so damn guilty."

"Come up here and hold me." She demanded and he obliged but he kept his hand on her belly.

"Are you going to find out what you're having?"

"What we are having you mean?" He nodded. "Do you want to?"

"It doesn't matter what I want since I'm not going to be here." He said bitterly.

"Eddie Latekka you are not dead yet so quit acting like you are. Until you are gone you and I are parents together and we are going to make all of the decscions for our baby's life together from its name to the color of the nursery. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes ma'am." Eddie said with a grin. "I would like to know what we are having. I think it would be easier knowing what I was leaving behind if I knew for sure what it was exactly I was leaving behind."

"I want to know too."

"What do you want Janet? A boy or girl?"

"I've been thinking non stop about it and I would love a little girl."

"I would love a little girl too." Eddie scooted down the bed to her belly. "Hi in there. I'm your daddy. I know you can't hear me yet but I was wondering if you are a little girl or a little boy? We do. Okay. I guess we can do that. Oh really? That's a great idea. Yeah I'll tell your mommy.I love you my little baby." Eddie returned to the top of the bed. "Our baby won't tell me what it is yet but it did tell me that it's hungry and guesses that you probably are too." Janet shot straight up.

"Oh my god. We were supposed to go to your parent's house for dinner and I totally forgot." She reached for the phone. "I need to call them."

"Dad canceled for us. Don't worry about it. Anyways since I'm also hungry the baby suggested that we call our family and friends and have them meet us at Sully's so we can tell them our great news."

"Our baby is very smart. I love that idea. I'm going to jump in the shower while you make the calls." Janet said crawling out of bed.

"While I make the calls? Kinda bossy aren't you?"

"It was our baby's idea." Janet said with a wink.

--

"So what goes on?" Nick asked once their dessert arrived. He could tell by the looks on Janet and Eddie's face that something was going on with them. He watched as Eddie reached for his wife's hand.

"Janet and I have some news." Some of the people at the table shut their mouth while others kept talking. "Hey. Will you goofs shut the hell up? I'm trying to speak here." Eddie said loudly and the two tables they shoved together finally quieted down. "Thank you. Now, as I was saying. Janet and I have some news."

"Didn't Janet finally get smart and drop your sorry ass?" Ikey quipped and Katie punched him in the arm.

"Hey, that's my wife you're talking about." Eddie growled jokingly.

"Ikey I am a very smart woman and that's why I married Eddie." A chorus of "Awww's" went up around the table.

"Anyway first piece of news my doctor gave me a new medicine that I'm starting tomorrow. This medication is a mild chemotherapy in a pill form. During the trials it slowed down the growth of the tumors by four to six months."

"Eddie that's great." Owen said.

"It will be if it works." The table grew quiet for a few minutes until Janet spoke.

"I'm pregnant." Again silence. It seemed no one knew what to say.

"Did you guys hear my wife? We are having a baby." Eddie said. Hannah was the first to react. She jumped out of her seat and rushed over to her best friend and engulfed her in a hug.

"I am so happy for you sweetie." Hannah gushed.

"Thanks."

"You are going to make such a great mom." Janet just nodded through her tears.

"I'm going to be an aunt." Katie said hugging her brother. "Poor kid. I hope for it's sake it looks like it's mom." That comment got the tables rolling with laughter and Eddie's friends began sending him their congratulations. From the corner of her eye Janet saw Laura get up from her chair and sneak out of the bar. Janet excused herself and followed her.

"Laura?" Janet said when she got outside.

"I'm sorry honey." Laura said wiping her eyes.

"It's okay. It is a bit overwhelming."

"I just…he'll never know his baby." Laura sobbed.

"I know. I know." Janet said putting an arm around her mother in law. "But think about it Laura, now there will be a part of Eddie here after he is gone. A baby that will hopefully look just like him."

"Did you guys plan this?"

"No it was an accident. A wonderful accident."

"Eddie's happy about it?"

"He is." Laura wiped her eyes, took a deep breath and hugged Janet.

"Congratulations Janet."

"Thank you Laura. Thank you very much."

"Let's go back in. I need to congratulate my son." Janet and Laura linked hands and returned inside where Eddie was waiting anxiously by the door.

"Mom?"

"Congrats baby. I'm so very happy for you. For both of you." Laura said as she wrapped her arms around her son.

"Thanks grandma." Laura withdrew from the embrace and slapped Eddie in the back of the head.

"Don't start that grandma stuff yet."

"Yes ma'am."

--

"Hey Janet?" Eddie whispered into the darkness. They had been home for a couple of hours and they had made love again and Janet was just drifting off to sleep when Eddie spoke.

"Hmmph?"

"Even though I am dying of cancer, lying here with you in my arms I have to tell you that I have never been happier." He told her tearfully, kissing her head.

"I…happy too." She curled up closer to him. "Love you…very much."

"Love you too sweetheart. Sleep now." She nodded and within a few minutes Janet was sound asleep.

That night when Eddie finally fell asleep he had multiple dreams of his wife and unborn baby. In some of his dreams their child was a little boy and this little boy was growing up without him; learning to walk, throw a football, going on his first date, graduating high school all without him. In another dream he saw his beautiful daughter who looked just like her mother, going through all of the same life events of his son, again without him. In another version of the dream it was his daughter being walked down the aisle in her wedding dress, looking beautiful on the arm of another man, a man that his Janet had married and had become a father to his little girl. This strange man gave her away and they all looked so happy without him.

Eddie woke up in a cold sweat with his heart pounding. Thankful that he didn't wake Janet, he gently extracted himself from her arms and snuck downstairs, curled up on the couch and sobbed like a child. He cried for everything he was going to lose and for the child he was never going know.

**_As always, thanks so much for reading. Please review. Did I mention Please? _**


	12. Chapter 12

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

The first morning after Eddie took his first Chemo pill he woke up feeling fine. He had none of the expected side effects. Thrilled that he still could get an erection he virtually attacked Janet who was downstairs at her desk. Eddie was so horny they didn't even make it upstairs. They were lucky that they made it to the couch. After they made love, they showered and then Eddie took his beautiful wife out to breakfast.

"My god, I can't believe how great I feel." He told her as he shoveled eggs into his mouth. "Maybe I'm not going to react to the medicine like Dr. Turner said."

"I hope so baby."

"So what do you want to do today?"

"I called my OB/GYN for an appointment and they had a cancellation this afternoon. I was hoping that you would come with me."

"Of course I want to come with you. I want to be as involved with this baby while I'm here as I can." Janet reached across the table, took and squeezed his hand.

"I also need to go to Sully's, stop at the bank and go to City Hall to get the paperwork to change my name." She said with a smile. "What about you? What do you want to do today?"

"I want to go with you while you run all of your errands."

"Eddie you don't have to hang out with me all day."

"I want to."

"Well what do you want to do?"

"You might not like it."

"Tell me."

"Since I'm feeling good I want to go to the funeral home." Janet had to bite her lip to keep from crying.

"If that's what you want then I'll go with you."

"Thanks sweetheart. Your support means a lot to me." She nodded, to afraid to speak because if she opened her mouth she would cry. "And I was thinking that we could get our tattoos today too that is if you hadn't chickened out."

"I haven't chickened out Latekka. As long as my doctor says it's okay then it's on."

After their breakfast they stopped at Eddie's old house to pick up the last of his things that Phil had boxed up for him and his mail. Eddie was pleasantly surprised as he sorted through his mail. His retirement check came in and the check from selling his house to Phil came in. Both checks were more than he expected so now he could easily take care of Janet financially and hopefully he could convince Janet to deposit the check her mom gave her into her savings account so she and the baby wouldn't have to worry so much about money after he was gone.

At the bank Eddie closed his checking account and Janet added Eddie to hers. They ordered checks with her married name on them and as soon as she got her new social security card with her name changed on it the bank would change her name on the account. After a lot of arguing Janet finally agreed to deposit her mother's check into her savings account. She was a very independent woman who never had to rely on anyone, especially a man to take of her and she wasn't ready to change that now, even for Eddie. She was willing to relinquish a little bit of her independence because she loved Eddie so much but that didn't mean she wouldn't continue to fight for her rights.

"I've never shared a checking account with anyone before. This is so cool. I love being married." Eddie commented as they pulled into Sully's.

"Isn't that what marriage is all about? What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours." When Janet turned off the jeep he leaned over and kissed her softly.

"Especially my heart. My heart belongs to you." He whispered.

"As does mine." Eddie grinned at her, jumped out of the jeep and raced around to open her door and then they linked hands and walked into Sully's together. Some of the regular crowd was already there when they walked in and they applauded them. Janet turned red with embarrassment at all of the attention and Eddie just made it worse when he grabbed her, dipped her and kissed her passionately. "I'm going to kill you." She whispered when he stood her back up.

"Aww you know you loved it." He quipped.

"Janet, Eddie welcome back." Sully said coming around the bar to hug his favorite bartender.

"It's good to be home." Janet said.

"I have something for you two." Sully handed Janet a box full cards.

"What is this?" Eddie asked, looking over Janet's shoulder.

"Some folks or actually a lot of the folks here in town wanted to send you their congratulations so they started bringing cards here."

"Wow." Janet mumbled, thumbing through the cards.

"Eddie, what goes on?" Nick said walking up to the three of them.

"Look at all of these wedding cards people left for us." Eddie said.

"You two, well Janet anyway is pretty damn special so it's no wonder why you have of these cards." Nick said.

"Got that right." Eddie said proudly.

"Got a minute Sully?" Janet asked.

"For you sweetheart I'll give you two." Janet and Sully headed to the back while Nick and Eddie found a booth in the back.

"So how is he?" Sully asked Janet when they got to his office.

"He's good…today. He started his new chemo med today and so far he hasn't had any of the expected side effects but his doctor said that he will definitely get them."

"I'm sorry hon."

"I am too."

"What's on your mind Janet?"

"I was hoping that we could talk about my schedule."

"Your schedule?" Sully asked, somewhat surprised. "I thought that you were going to quit."

"Eddie and I talked this morning and as long as he is feeling okay we want to live as much as a normal life as we can. We want to be together as much as we can but at the same time if all we do is sit at home all we are going to think about is his upcoming death and I …we can't do that. It's just too hard."

"So what do you want to do?'

"Because of his medication Eddie will be weak so he won't be able to work like he used to and right now he is talking to Nick about going to work in the mornings to do paperwork. Nick hates paperwork and Eddie doesn't mind it so much. Our plan is for Eddie to work at Best Friend Windows in the mornings and if it works for you I can come in and open up and work through lunch and maybe some evenings when Eddie is hanging out with the guys I can work a shift. We want to spend our afternoons together and the evenings with family and friends that is if that schedule works for you."

"Janet besides the fact that you are my best bartender my patrons love you and there would be a revolt if I wouldn't give you any damn schedule you wanted." Janet smiled softy at her boss. "So this is what we're going to do. I won't put you on the schedule. You just come in whenever you can or want. Morning, afternoon or evening, whenever you want."

"I…I…don't know what to say." Janet mumbled tearfully and Sully pulled her to his chest and hugged her tightly.

"Janet you are like a daughter to me and I will do everything I can to help you. I was so happy that you found true love with the goofball Latekka and it breaks my heart that you are going to lose him. I want you two to spend as much time together as possible before there is no time left." Tears were falling from Janet's eyes and she clung tightly to Sully.

"Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me."

"If you ever need anything…a beer, dinner, a talk, a cry or if just need to vent I'm here because I love you."

"I love you too Sully."

--

"Welcome to Hinkley. My name is Rob. How can I help you?"

"We need to plan a funeral." Eddie answered.

"I'm very sorry for your loss."

"I'm not lost yet." Rob looked very confused.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Eddie knock it off." Janet snapped. She was not enjoying this whatsoever.

"It's my funeral. I'll be dead in a few months and I would like to plan my funeral now so my wife doesn't have to do it."

"I'm very sorry."

"Don't be. So is it something that we can do?"

"Absolutely. Why don't you and your wife follow me to my office and we'll go over some of our packages."

"There are packages for funerals? Cool." Eddie commented and Janet glared at him. "Aww come on sweetheart it is cool." She didn't say a word as he took her hand and they followed Rob back to his office.

Janet lasted all of fifteen minutes and two funeral packages before she had to leave. Seeing the pictures of the coffins and imagining Eddie lying in one was too much for her to handle. "I…I…can't do this Eddie." She said through her tears. She stood up and walked out of Rob's office.

"Excuse me. I'll be right back." Eddie found his wife sitting on the steps outside sobbing quietly. He sat next to her and pulled her to his chest.

"I'm sorry." She cried. "You asked for my support and I told you that I would give it but I just can't. Every time I look at those damn pictures I see you lying in them…dead…gone from my life forever and I'm not ready to face that yet."

"Don't be sorry hon. I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm being selfish. I know how hard all of this is for you and I was only thinking of myself. I'm so sorry baby. "

"No, you were thinking of me." She sniffed. "You don't want me having to plan your funeral. You're trying to save me more pain and I love for that. I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough."

"You are strong sweetheart. You are the strongest woman I know."

"I need a few minutes to pull myself together. Go on back in and finish up and I'll be back in."

"You don't have to."

"I know." She lifted her head and kissed him softly. "Go on. I'll be fine." He looked at her, his face full of concern. "Really sweetheart. I'll be fine." He kissed her forehead and slowly walked back inside.

Janet took about another half hour to pull herself together. When she thought she was okay she went back inside the funeral home and as soon as she saw a casket, she burst into tears again. Another employee of the funeral home found her sobbing, led her to a chair and sat with her until she calmed herself down. "Thank you." Janet sniffed.

"I'm very sorry for your loss."

"He's not gone yet. My husband is here planning his funeral and it's just really hard for me."

"Your husband is not the first person to plan their own funeral. When someone is dying they have no control over their illness, death, or essentially their life. Planning their funeral gives them a sense of control and they feel it will take a load off of those they leave behind."

"That's what he told me. He doesn't want me to have to go through planning the funeral."

"He's doing it because he loves you."

"I know it. Thank you." Janet blew her nose and returned to Rob's office.

"What do you want on your tombstone?" Rob asked Eddie and Janet wanted to puke.

"I guess whatever people usually put on their tombstones. My name, birth date and death date."

"With that your tombstone will read John Edward Latekka III. Date of…"

"That's not his name." Janet spoke up causing Eddie to turn around in surprise because he didn't know she had returned.

"What are you talking about Janet? That is my name." She sat next to him and took his hand.

"Officially John is the name on your birth certificate but it's not your name. No one ever calls you John. You're Eddie and that's what should be on your tombstone."

"I never thought about that but you're right sweetie. I'm Eddie. I have been since I was born. John is my grandfather." Eddie looked at Rob. "The name on my tombstone should read Eddie Latekka." Rob nodded and made the change on the paper in front of him.

"I also want written "Beloved Friend, Brother, Son, Husband and Father." Janet instructed and for the second time Eddie looked at Janet in surprise.

"No Janet." Eddie said softly, his eyes filling with tears.

"I want this on your tombstone Eddie. It's who you are, beloved to all of us and I want everyone who passes your stone to know it so it's going on there one way or another either you agreeing to it now or I'll change it after you're gone."

"It sounds like I have no choice. You heard my wife. Make the change please." Eddie said, squeezing Janet's hand.

"The last thing that needs to be settled is a burial plot. Do you know where you want to be buried?"

"My family has a set of plots at the cemetery already." This time Janet was the one who was surprised.

"I can contact the cemetery to find out the exact location. Is the plot in your name or just your family name?"

"There are two plots in my name…John Edward Latekka the third." He said with a grin.

"I'll take care of it."

For the next thirty minutes Rob and Eddie took care of the final details of the funeral while Janet sat quietly. By the time they left Eddie had a list of things that he still needed to do, like talk to his mom about finding someone to perform the funeral, talk to his friends about eulogy's and just stuff like that. He made arrangements to make payments now so by the time his death happened, hopefully the funeral would be paid for and all of his life insurance would go to Janet and the baby.

"What's up with the family plots?" Janet asked once they left the funeral home and were on the way to her doctor's appointment.

"My grandparents bought all of us plots when they bought theirs. I always thought it was kind of morbid but now I appreciate the fact that I'll be close to family."

"This may be a stupid question but why do you have two plots?"

"My grandparents bought one for each of them, one for each of my parents, one for Katie and I and one for each of our future spouses. Look, I'm not asking you to be buried next to me because …"

"I want to. I want to spend forever next to you." She said softly. They drove the remainder of the way to the doctor in silence.

--

"What are they going to do to you?" Eddie asked Janet once the nurse left the room and Janet was undressed and on the table.

"  
"Draw lots of blood, take some measurements, perform a pelvic exam and check the baby's heartbeat."

"We're gonna hear the baby's heartbeat?" Eddie's eyes grew wide with excitement and Janet nodded. "Wow. I can't believe that I'm or we're going to hear our baby's heartbeat."

"We sure are."

"What's a pelvic exam?"

"See that speculum over there?" Janet motioned to the counter and he nodded. "The doctor inserts that speculum into my vagina to do a visual exam, to make sure everything is as it should be."

"The doctor puts that inside of you?" Janet nodded. "Does it hurt you?" He looked worried.

"No baby. It doesn't hurt."

"Is your doctor a male or female?"

"Female."

"That's kinda hot."

"Eddie!"

"Hey I'm a guy and I can't help it. Can I watch while she does the exam?"

"Absolutely not. That's just gross."

"Janet how are you?" Dr. Lindley asked coming in the room.

"I'm good. Thank you. This is my husband Eddie." Eddie held out his hand and they shook hands.

"Married? Your chart still says Meadows. Are you keeping your maiden name?"

"No. I just haven't changed my name yet."

"Well let's get started." Dr. Lindley began her exam while talking to Janet and answering any questions that she had.

"Are you tired?" Dr. Lindley asked.

"Very."

"Good. That's normal. Breast tenderness?"

"Yeah they're tender. I have to be gentle when I'm touching them." Eddie answered and Janet turned bright red.

"That's normal too. The tenderness will improve with time. How about morning sickness?"

"None. I don't feel sick at all."

"Well everything looks good. Go ahead and get dressed and I'll be back in so we can listen to the heartbeat."

"That was boring." Eddie commented as Janet got dressed.

"Sorry it wasn't porn." Janet quipped.

"That's all right. I got some porn at home I can watch."

"No I left that at your old house."

"You didn't."

"No. I know that every man needs his porn."

"I've got the coolest wife ever."

"Damn right you do." Eddie pulled Janet to his chest and kissed her hard on the mouth until the doctor returned.

"Okay Janet back on the table." Dr. Lindley instructed. Eddie helped Janet up and she lay down. "Lift up your shirt for me." Janet did as instructed. "This is a like a microphone. I'm going to place it over your belly and we should all be able to hear your child's heartbeat." Janet and Eddie linked hands and a minute later the very fast heartbeat of their child was heard. Eddie felt no shame as the tears fell from his eyes because he knew this would be the only sound of his child that he would ever hear.

"Do you have any questions Janet?" Dr. Lindley asked as she handed Janet her prescriptions and Eddie loudly cleared his throat.

"Oh yeah. I want to get a small tattoo and I was wondering if it was safe?"

"No official studies have been done about the safety of the ink on the fetus but I have had patients who have gotten tattoos while they were pregnant and the babies have been fine. As long as the artists use all of the proper safety precautions, sterilized needles and gloves then you should be fine."

"Thank you doctor."

"Janet, Eddie, if you have any questions please call me."

"Thanks, I will."

After they left the doctor's office Eddie directed Janet to Mission Flats to an old high school friend who owned a tattoo shop. Eddie knew that his friend was one of the best artists around and he was also one of the safest.

"Eddie Latekka, how the hell are you?" Will shouted when they walked in.

"Pretty damn good. Will, I'd like you to meet my wife Janet. Janet this is will."

"Nice to meet you Janet." Will said.

"You too."

"What brings you in Latekka? Do you want a nipple piercing?"

"No way in hell. We want a tattoo." Will grinned and led them over to his chair.

They both still wanted the Chinese symbol of love on their right wrists. They decided on the right wrist because they wore their watches on the left and they didn't want anything covering their tattoos. They decided on a dark blue color with their wedding date in black. Janet went first and she was a trooper. Eddie put on a brave face as well but Janet wasn't sure if he was as brave as he acted. By the time Will was done Eddie was pale and sweating.

"I need some fresh air. Can you take of this?" Eddie asked as he rose unsteadily to his feet.

"Are you okay sweetheart?"

"I…just need air." He took a step and swayed into Janet's arms.

"I'm going to walk him outside and then I'll be back to pay. Is that okay?"

"It's on the house." Will told her.

"You don't have to. We can afford to pay."

"Eddie's an old friend. It's on the house."

"Janet…I really need to…"

"Thanks Will." With Eddie leaning against her they slowly made their way outside. They made it about five feet outside before he started puking. Janet did the only thing she could for him, she gently rubbed his back as his whole body heaved. As the smell made its way to Janet's nose her stomach suddenly retched and she was throwing up. As soon as they both stopped vomiting they slowly made their way to the jeep. Janet helped Eddie settle into the passenger side and then she made her way to the driver's side, taking deep breaths as she went.

"You okay?" Eddie mumbled with closed eyes when she got in. He still was very pale and his eyes were closed and he was leaning against the window.

"I'm fine. Let's go home." During the thirty minute drive home Janet had to stop five times so Eddie could vomit. The first two time Janet tried to help him but immediately nausea overtook her body and she was joining him so the last three times, even though she felt horrible about not being able to help or comfort him she found it best to hang her head out the window while he was throwing up and by doing that she avoided throwing up herself.

Once she arrived home she helped Eddie up to bed without either of them puking. He stripped out of everything but his boxers and climbed into bed. Janet got him a glass of water and forced him to take the pills he was prescribed at his last visit for his nausea and vomiting, which he did but it ended up being worthless because he just threw those up twenty minutes later.

"Janet." He weakly called an hour after they got home.

"What's wrong baby?"

"My head. I need my pills." He was in tears and obvious pain. Janet quickly grabbed his strong pills, helped him sit up and he swallowed them. "Thanks." He mumbled settling back onto the pillow.

"You're welcome."

"Stay with me."

"I'm right here." Poor Eddie made it about five minutes before he was rushing to the bathroom again. Janet followed, thinking that she would be okay but as soon as she walked into the bathroom she was throwing up into the trash can right next to her husband.

"What the hell is going on?" She mumbled to herself. She had never had this kind of reaction to vomit before. Hell, she was a bartender and she had cleaned up vomit many nights at Sully's and it had never once bothered her but today every time she heard Eddie puking or smelled it she automatically vomited right along with him. It was like she was having sympathy vomiting.

"Janet…" Eddie cried from the toilet. "I threw up my pills and my head is going to explode." Tears were rolling down his face.

"Now for plan B." Janet went to the medicine cabinet and pulled out two of the new prescriptions that Dr. Turner had given them. "I'm going to put on a pain patch since you can't keep anything down." Eddie nodded while Janet opened the patch and placed it under his collar bone. "You're going to feel out of it while the patch is on but you need something for the pain."

"I'll take anything right now."

"Good because I also have a suppository for your vomiting."

"I'm not shoving anything up my ass." He grumbled.

"Not even if it will help you feel better?" He shook his head. "Dammit Eddie, I know it's not the most pleasant thing in the world but it will help you feel better so please just put the medication in."

"I'm not doing it." Janet sighed.

"Grow up Latekka. So you have to shove a suppository up your ass? Big deal? Remember what got shoved up my vagina today? We all have to do some things we don't like. If you don't this you won't be able to keep anything down, mainly your medication and all of this hell that you have gone through would have been worthless. Is that what you want?"

"I'm shoving a giant pill up my ass."

"Fine. Be that way. I'm not fighting with you. Come on. Let's get you back to bed."

Eddie had just fallen back asleep and Janet had just walked out of their room when he was woken up again with the urge to vomit. He tried to make it to the toilet but missed it by a foot. "Janet." He called, sobbing. He felt so bad. He waited a few minutes and when she didn't come he crawled to the bedroom and yelled for her again.

"What's wrong?" She asked returning to the room.

"I'm sorry." He sobbed.

"Sorry for what?"

"I couldn't make it to the toilet."

"It's okay. Come on. Back in bed." She helped him into bed and then she covered her mouth and nose and ran into the bathroom and grabbed the trashcan and brought it to Eddie. "Next time you need to throw up use this." He nodded through closed eyes.

"So sorry." He mumbled. She kissed him on his head and let him sleep.

It took Janet over an hour to clean up the bathroom floor because she had to keep stopping to throw up herself. As soon as the bathroom was cleaned the trashcan she gave Eddie was full of vomit and when she dumped it and tried to clean it she threw up. By this point she knew that she couldn't help Eddie and she didn't understand why. She normally had a strong stomach so puking every few minutes was not like her. Eddie needed someone who could take care of him without puking so she did what any good wife would do. She called his mom.

When Laura arrived an hour later she found Eddie and Janet on the bathroom floor. Janet was sitting up with her head on the toilet seat, sleeping and her arm wrapped around Eddie while Eddie was curled up in a fetal position with his head on her lap, hand linked with Janet's and he was sleeping soundly. Janet was sobbing when she called and right now they both looked so peaceful that she didn't have the heart to wake them.

As Laura stood at the bathroom door watching her son and his wife holding each other while they slept, once again her heart broke for them. She hadn't even known Janet for a year but she loved her so much. She was the woman that she always wanted her son, kind, sweet, compassionate and so much more. They deserved an entire lifetime of happiness not a few short months. Like she has done everyday since her son was diagnosed she sent up a quick prayer for a miracle.

_**Thanks for reading. Please, Please, review. Thanks so much for all of your support.**_


	13. Chapter 13

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Janet." Eddie moaned. She woke up and slowly pulled herself up and out of her husband's lap.

"How are you feeling?"

"Horrible." He had tears in his eyes and Janet's heart broke for him. She gently kissed him.

"Come on. Let's get you off of this cold floor and into our warm bed."

"I like that idea." Janet pulled herself to her feet, reached out a hand pulled Eddie to his feet.

"Oh hell." He mumbled as soon as he was on his feet his stomach retched and had his head back in the toilet.

"Not again." Janet moaned as her stomach lurched and she had her head in the trashcan.

"Janet out of the bathroom." Laura ordered walking into the bathroom. "There is a trashcan already next to your bed but I don't think you'll need it." Janet nodded and did as her mother-in law instructed. As soon as she was out of the bathroom she instantly felt better.

As Eddie continued to puke Laura took care of him like she did when he was a little boy. She placed a cold washcloth on his neck and rubbed his back until he was done heaving. "Come on sweetheart. Let's get you to bed." She hoisted him to his feet and helped him into bed.

"Mom what are you doing here?" He mumbled as she tucked him in.

"Janet called me to help take care of you."

"She's sick too." He mumbled.

"She'll be fine. Do you need anything?" He shook his head. "Just sleep now." She kissed his head and walked out of the room.

"Laura thank you so much for coming." Janet said when Laura came into the living room. "Is he okay?"

"He's sleeping."

"I don't understand it. I felt fine all day until Eddie got sick and then every time he got sick I got sick. It's like the smell trigged my vomit reflex but I've dealt with vomit before. I work at a bar for crying out loud." Tears filled Janet's eyes. "I just can't take care of him and I hate it."

"You're pregnant Janet. Your sense of smell is super sensitive right now and stuff that never bothered you before will bother you now, like the smell or sound of vomit."

"I'm reacting like this because of the pregnancy?" Laura nodded. "So because I'm pregnant I won't be able to talk care of my husband."

"Not when he's throwing up."

"Well that just sucks." Laura laughed.

"So what's the word on Eddie? What should I know?"

"He stared his new chemo med yesterday and the side effects stared today. He can't keep any of his medications down so he's wearing a pain patch because he has or had a really bad headache."

"Didn't Dr. Turner give him anything for the nausea and vomiting?"

"He did but he couldn't keep the pills down and he refuses to use the suppository."

"We'll I'm going to fix that. Follow me." Laura stormed back into the bedroom, flipping on the lights.

"What the hell?" Eddie groaned.

"Are you enjoying throwing up?" Laura snapped

"Mom what are you talking about?"

"Do you like throwing up?"

"No."

"Then why aren't you doing something about it?"

"I took the pills but I threw them back up. Now please let me sleep."

"Pills aren't your only option."

"Great Janet. You had to rat me out didn't you." He snapped.

"Grow up Eddie. She didn't rat you out. I asked and she told me. Now get your ass up and in the bathroom and put the suppository in." Laura demanded.

"I'm not shoving anything up my ass."

"If you don't do it yourself I will call your father over here and he will hold you down and I will shove the suppository up your ass myself." Eddie pulled himself into a sitting position and glared at his mom and she glared right back. Janet couldn't help but grin.

"You are so mean. Janet is nicer then you."

"She still is a newbie. She'll learn. So what's it going to be? Do I need to call your father?"

"I'll do it myself. Where is it?"

"I'll get it." Janet went into the bathroom and returned with the suppository and handed it to him.

"I can't believe this." He mumbled climbing of bed.

"It'll help you feel better." Janet told him.

"I don't like either of you very much right now." He said as he disappeared into the bathroom.

"I love you too son."

From the other side of the bathroom Janet and Laura listened as Eddie dry heaved and then cussed out practically everything. He returned ten minutes later looking pale and miserable.

"Did you take care of it?" Laura asked.

"Would you like to check?" Eddie snapped.

"I don't think it's necessary."

"Can I sleep now?"

"Yell if you need anything." Eddie nodded, his eyes already closed. Janet walked over to the bed and kissed him softly.

"I know you're angry with me right now but I love you." She whispered. "I just want you to feel better."

"I know Janet. I'm really tired right now."

"Okay." She walked out of the room with tears in her eyes. "He's furious with me."

"No he's not sweetie. Eddie is a very prideful man and anything that he feels is making him less than a man, such as a suppository, is what pisses him off. Trust me Janet. It's not you. He adores you."

--

When Eddie woke up a few hours later he felt better which meant that there would be hell to pay when admitted that fact to his mom and wife. He still felt nauseated but it was a strong as before and at least time he could stand up without puking. He threw on a pair of sweat pants and tee shirt and headed downstairs.

"Look whose up." Laura commented when he walked into the living room. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." He mumbled walking over to the couch where Janet and Katie were sitting. "Move it." He told his sister. Katie stuck her tongue out at her brother and got off of the couch. Once Katie vacated the couch Eddie laid down with his head on Janet's lap. She reached behind her on the couch, grabbed the blanket and covered him up.

"I'm sorry. I must not have heard you. Did you say that you are feeling better?" Laura said with a smirk.

"I'm still really nauseated, exhausted and weak but I can move now without getting sick so if you want to consider that better then yeah ma I'm better."

"I consider that better so what do you say to your mommy?" Eddie sighed and mumbled something that no one could understand. "What was that?"

"You were right mom."

"That's mommy's good boy." Laura said and Katie burst out laughing.

"Shut up bug." Eddie said.

"Come on Kate. Help me with dinner." Laura said.

"But it's…"

"Kate help me with dinner." Laura grabbed Kate's arm and drug her to the kitchen.

"That was subtle." Eddie commented when his mom and sister disappeared.

"Your mom is going to stay with us for a while and help out."

"Why?"

"Because the baby doesn't like that you're sick." Janet said with a smile. "I guess that I'm really sensitive right now and every time that you get sick I get too and I can't take care of you."

"Great, I'm a newlywed and my mom is living with me." He muttered and Janet's eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry." She said tearfully. A tear slipped from her eye and landed on his cheek. "I just didn't know what else to do."

"Aww hell baby." Eddie sat up and pulled Janet to his chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I know that you just want me to feel better and I'm making it difficult. I just feel like such shit. I'm sorry for being a pain in the ass sweetheart."

"It's okay."

"Janet I don't know if I can continue to do this." Janet sat up and looked at him.

"What are you talking about?"

"I never wanted the chemo because I knew how sick it would make me. I've only had one dose of this new medicine and I've never felt worse. I hate feeling like this and I don't know if I want to continue to feel like this."

"Eddie it's only going to last for a few weeks. Isn't a few weeks of misery worth the extra time you'll get with your family, friends, me and our baby?"

"It's a long shot Janet that it's going to give me extra time."

"I know your miserable but can you please continue the meds for me?" She reached for his hand and placed it on her belly. "For us? This may be selfish but I want you around for as long as you can be."

"I'll stay on the medicine Janet. For you. For our family."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too." Eddie pulled his wife to his face and kissed her until his mom and Kate walked back into the living room interrupting them.

"Eddie it's time to eat." Laura said.

"I'm not hungry." He said snuggling next to Janet. He had no appetite.

"I didn't ask. Here." She handed him a can of Ensure. "Drink." Eddie slowly reached out and took the can from his mom.

"I'll drink it later."

"No. You'll drink it now." Janet spoke. A look of shock passed over Eddie's face and Laura smiled proudly.

"Fine." Eddie took a drink and then made a face. "It tastes like chalk."

"I bought other flavors. Chocolate and strawberry."

"Oh goody." Eddie quipped and the women around him laughed.

--

"Mrs. Latekka?" Both Janet and Laura stood up and walked over to the doctor. "I need to speak with Mr. Latekka's wife."

"This is his mom. I want her to stay." Janet said.

"Okay. Your husband is stable. We gave him IV fluids, and we gave him another medication for his vomiting which seems to have helped."

"Can I see him?"

"Sure. We have moved him upstairs to a private room. I spoke with Dr. Turner and since Eddie only has two more days of this high dose chemo Dr. Turner agrees that Eddie should remain in the hospital until he finishes it."

"I think that would be for the best." Janet agreed.

"Dr. Turner said that he will come down here and see Eddie before he is discharged."

"Thank you Dr. Williams."

"I'll take you to his room." Janet hugged Jack and Laura goodbye and then followed Dr. Williams upstairs to Eddie's room. "The medication for the nausea combined with the pain medication made him extremely drowsy so he will probably sleep all night." Janet nodded and Dr. Williams left them alone.

"Hey sweetheart." Janet whispered to the sleeping form in front of her. She pulled the chair over next to his bed and took his hand in hers. "I am so glad that you are feeling better. You really gave us quite a scare tonight."

Over the past week and a half Eddie had been tolerating the medicine fairly well. He was tired, weak and had some vomiting but the suppository had been keeping that at bay until very early this morning. He had woken up with severe vomiting that nothing would help. By mid-morning Laura and Janet wanted to take Eddie to the hospital but he refused, insisting that the medicine just needed to kick in. Eddie managed to make it downstairs later in the evening, with the help of his dad to join his family. When he tried to get up and go to the bathroom he collapsed on the floor and was barely conscious. Janet called 911 and Eddie was rushed to the hospital.

"I love you so much Eddie, so damned much. You've almost made it through the first, hardest round of your medicine. Two more days then it's a lot easier from here on out. I know it hasn't been easy and I'm so proud of you. You continue to amaze me Eddie." She leaned forward, kissed his still lips. "Sleep well my sweet man." She laid her head on the bed next to him and quickly dozed off.

--

"Janet." Eddie groaned sleepily. Her head immediately shot up.

"Hey babe."

"What the hell are you doing?"

"What?"

"Why are you here and not at home?" She smiled softly at him.

"Because I want to be here with you. How are you feeling?"

"Better. Stronger. Tired as hell."

"It's the new medication that's making you tired and the fluids they gave you because you were so dehydrated is why you are stronger. They're keeping you in here until you finish the chemo meds."

"Baby I'm so tired."

"Sleep Eddie."

"Go home."

"What?"

"It can't be good for you to sleep on a chair all night. You're pregnant and you need a good night sleep. I'll take care of myself if you go home and take care of our baby."

"Okay. I'll go but I'm coming back first thing in the morning."

"I'm counting on it." Janet stood slowly and stiffly. "See. You're sore. You need to be home in bed."

"I'm going." She kissed him softly. "I love you and I'll see you in the morning."

"Love you too." Janet slowly walked out of the hospital and drove to her empty home. As she climbed into her big empty bed she was overcome with loneliness. Even though he had been sick they still spent every night in bed together, wrapped in each other's arms and the thought of in the next few months that she would be spending the rest of her life in their bed alone was almost too much to bear. That night she cried herself to sleep.

--

"Happy Birthday sweetheart." Eddie said with a big grin when Janet walked into his hospital room.

"Thank you." He held out his arms and she walked into them and he gave her a big birthday kiss.

"Delivery for Janet Latekka." Janet broke away from Eddie and turned around to face a hospital employee holding a vase full of daises.

"Oh Eddie, they're beautiful." Janet said taking the flowers.

"It's the best I could do being stuck here in the hospital."

"It's perfect." Before she could show him her gratitude Dr. Turner walked in.

"Hello Janet. How are you?"

"I'm good Dr. Turner. Thanks for coming down here to see Eddie."

"No problem. I have your latest MRI results Eddie."

"You know I'm getting really sick of that damn machine. The jack hammer in my head doesn't do much for my headaches."

"Head phones aren't working?"

"Not so much."

"Do you have a headache now?"

"Nothing I can't handle but after my MRI's it gets really bad. The nurse gave me something yesterday for the pain and now I'm as good as new."

"I can start sedating you before the MRI's if you like."

"I can suck up."

"If it gets too bad let me know." Eddie nodded. "Okay now these MRI results." Dr. Turner put the films in the scanner. "The good news is that there are no new tumors."

"The bad news?" Janet asked.

"One tumor has grown a half a millimeter."

"So the medicine is not working" Janet whispered.

"We can't jump to that conclusion yet. The growth was very small which may have happened before the medication took effect." Janet and Eddie both nodded. "I want another MRI in two weeks and we'll check your progress. Now that you are on the lower dose of the chemo drug you should be feeling better. You may still have some residual nausea but you are through the worst of it." Dr. Turner shook both of their hands. "I'll you guys in two weeks."

"Janet let's blow this joint." Eddie said with a grin when the doctor left the room.

"You got it."

--

"SURPRISE!" Eddie had convinced Janet that he was starving and wanted some of Sully's onion rings and since he hadn't been out in public in two weeks he wanted to eat at Sully's. To Janet's shock when they walked into the bar all of their friends and Eddie's family were there for a party, a surprise birthday party for her.

"Happy birthday baby." Eddie whispered in her ear before he kissed her.

"How? Why?"

"Because I love you and you deserve it and I have connections."

"I don't know what to say." Janet mumbled tearfully.

"You don't have to say anything. Just enjoy yourself. You deserve it. You'll get your present from me at home."

"I'm sure I will." Janet said with a wink.

"Happy Birthday dear." Janet turned around and came face to face with her mom.

"I…uh…thanks."

""Go enjoy your party." Sharon said walking over to the bar. Janet turned around to glare at him.

"I called her."

"Eddie."

"It's your birthday Janet and she should be here. You and the baby are going to need her when I'm gone. Talk with her Janet."

"We will talk about this later." She told him.

"I'm sure we will." He mumbled as she walked over to Hannah.

"You look like you're in trouble." Nick commented to Eddie.

"Apparently I am."

"What did you do?"

"Invited her mom."

"Man don't you know that you never come between a woman and her mom?"

"I do now. Did you get Janet's present for me?" Nick reached into his pocket and handed Eddie a small gift box. "Thanks. I owe you man."

"No you don't. It wasn't a problem and Hannah said that Janet will love it."

"I hope so."

--

"Hey mom what are you doing out here?" Janet asked. She saw her mom walk outside and she followed her. All night she had been standing off to the side by herself looking bored and miserable.

"I just needed some air."

"Thanks for coming."

"Your husband called and he can be very convincing."

"Yeah he can be."

"It's been a long time since we've been together on your birthday. Maybe we can spend the day together tomorrow if you don't have any plans."

"I'm pregnant mom."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm pregnant. Eddie and I are having a baby."

"It's a little soon don't you think?"

"It's not soon enough." Janet whispered tearfully.

"What does that mean?"

"Eddie's dying mom. He has cancer and he will be dead in a few months. He probably won't be around when the baby is born." Janet wiped away the tears that had fallen

"Is that why you got married, because he is dying?"

"No. We got married because we're in love."

"Did you know about his cancer when you married him?"

"Yes I did."

"Then why did you marry him and allow yourself to become pregnant?"

"Again I married him because I love him more than anything mom and the baby was an accident but it was the best thing that could have happened. When he is gone I'm always going to have a part of him." Janet was sobbing softly now.

"I just can't understand why you married a dying man?"

"Why wouldn't I? Married or not I love him and it would hurt just the same when he dies. Why can't you just support me?"

"I'm your mother and I don't want you to suffer and hurt."

"Mom it's going to hurt. It hurts now. When I see him sick and miserable it hurts me but being with him makes me so happy. No one has ever loved me like he loves me. Please mom can't you be happy for me?"

"I am happy for you Janet but I know what you are going to go through when he dies. Nothing will ever hurt as badly as it will hurt when Eddie dies."

"How do I get through it? How did you get through daddy's death?" Sharon took her sobbing daughter in her arms.

"I can't tell you that because I don't think I ever got over your dad's death. I never got to say goodbye. At least you will get to say goodbye."

"I don't wanna say goodbye."

"I know Janet I know. Just treasure every moment that you have with your husband and those memories will get you through when he is gone."

"Will it be enough?" Janet sniffed.

"No honey. Memories will never be enough."

"Janet is every thing okay?" Eddie had walked outside and saw Sharon and Janet crying and holding each other.

"Yeah. It's good." Janet said pulling away from her mom with a smile in her direction. She then walked over to Eddie and wrapped her arms around his neck. "It's really good." She whispered in his ear.

--

"Now for your final present." They were lying in bed when Eddie handed Janet the box Nick had given him.

"You've already done too much. You shouldn't have."

"Just shut up and open the present." Janet slowly took the wrapping off and opened the jewelry box.

"Eddie it's beautiful. " She pulled out a gorgeous gold bracelet with a simple gold heart in the middle. The heart was engraved _I love you forever E_. "You've been in the hospital and home for the past couple of weeks. How did you manage this?"

"Nick bought it for me. I showed him the picture in the catalog and he went out and picked it up for me. Do you like it?"

"I love it." She held out her wrist. "Will you put it on?"

"Of course." Eddie concentrated on fastening the bracelet. "Did you have a nice birthday?"

"This was the best I have ever had."

"So you're not pissed at me for calling your mom?"

"No baby. I'm glad you did. We had a really good talk. She is the only one who will know what I will go through when you… She's taking me shopping for maternity clothes tomorrow. I think that it will be fun."

"You should know that when I called her she was so excited to be invited and hesitate for a second to accept the invitation. She really wanted to be here."

"Thanks for making this the best birthday ever. I love you." Janet pulled Eddie to her and showed him just how grateful and happy she was.


	14. Chapter 14

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

Eddie stood at the doorway of his bedroom and watched his beautiful wife sleeping. She was on her back and one of her hands was lying protectively on her growing belly. He didn't think that she could possibly get anymore beautiful but he was wrong. She was positively glowing and to him it just made her more beautiful. He had to wipe the tears away as he recalled the first time he felt their child kick, something he never thought he would be able to do. They were enjoying a rare evening home alone and they were cuddling together on the couch watching a basketball game. His hand was lying on her stomach when he felt it kick. It was the most amazing thing he had ever experienced. He held onto to her and cried tears of happiness.

He crawled back into bed and began kissing her. Without even opening her eyes she wrapped her hand around the back of his neck, pulling him closer and she returned his kiss passionately. "Morning sweetheart." He mumbled when they finally broke apart.

"Good Morning." She whispered running her hands across his bare chest. "Feels like someone took his medicine this morning." The chemo medication did affect Eddie's ability to achieve an erection on his own so he ended up resorting to taking a pill for erectile dysfunction which thankfully was working well. The only thing Eddie hated about it was that he had to take it and then wait about an hour before he could get it up. It took away any spontaneous sex but Janet assured him that she didn't mind. In fact she enjoyed it because as Eddie waited to get his erection he usually spent that time lavishing his attention on his wife.

"I sure did take my pill and it worked well." He pushed erection against her thigh.

"I would appreciate it if you help me out of my clothes considering that you are already naked and I'm not."

"It would be my pleasure." He lifted her legs up and ripped her underwear down causing Janet to laugh hysterically. Once her underwear was somewhere on the bedroom floor Eddie pulled Janet up off the bed into a sitting position, straddled her, lifted her arms into the air and yanked her or more accurately his tee shirt off of her body. Janet placed her feet flat on the bed, spreading herself wide for her husband and he slid himself inside of her.

Eddie gripped the headboard for leverage, stared down at Janet nibbling and licking his nipples while he thrust himself back and forth inside of her. They had never tried this position before and he was sad that they hadn't. He loved it and thought that it was totally hot. In fact, seeing Janet sitting below him kissing his nipples was one of the hottest things he had ever seen. Occasionally, she would lift her head, he would stop pumping and they would share a slow, sweet kiss. "Harder…faster…please" She begged.

"Will I hurt the baby?" Janet burst out laughing. "What's so funny?"

"You may be well endowed baby but you ain't that big. The baby is really far up there and not even your enormous penis can't reach it"

"Yeah well we'll see how far my enormous penis can reach." Janet yelped in pleasure as he shoved himself inside her as far he could.

"Oh yeah…that's it baby." Janet dug her nails into his ass.

Edie continued to thrust himself inside of his wife and due to their position his penis rubbed against her clit with every thrust and she had two orgasms by the time Eddie had his one. "Oh my…WOW." Janet said breathlessly as Eddie pulled out. "That was so hot." With a grin she collapsed back against the pillows.

"I wish that I could take more than one pill per day because I want to make love to you slowly." He said sadly.

"No regrets Eddie. This was perfect, just what we needed. Tomorrow we can go slow."

"I love you so much." He kissed her slowly on the lips, then her neck, both of her breasts and finally her growing belly. Janet reached down and ran her fingers through his hair. "Do you know what today is?" He whispered softly running his hand over her belly.

"Uhhh Friday."

"Anything more specific?" He climbed back up the bed and she laid her head on his chest.

"We're going to find out what we're having."

"Yeah there is that."

"What are you getting at Eddie?"

"It's D-day."

"Huh?"

"I was supposed to be dead today Janet."

"Eddie…" She whispered as tears filled her eyes.

"Now don't cry sweetheart." He said when he felt a tear hit his bare chest. "This is a good thing. Dr. Turner said maybe I would have six months…that I would be lucky if I made it six months and look at me hon, it's been a great six months, minus the couple weeks that I started the chemo meds and some really bad headaches."

"I know. I just didn't realize you knew the exact day."

"A guy tends to mark on the calendar the date that he is going to die."

"I…I'm sorry. I didn't know. Things have just been so good. Your medicine is working and the cancer has stopped growing. Everything is so perfect right now that I…for awhile I forgot that you are dying." Eddie wrapped an arm around Janet and squeezed her tightly.

"Don't be sorry about forgetting Janet. I'm glad that you are able to forget for awhile, that you are able to be truly happy."

"I'm always happy Eddie."

"I know that but your happiness has been over shadowed by my cancer so I'm glad for awhile you aren't thinking about it."

"I love you Eddie."

"You know you were wrong about one thing."

"I don't think so."

"Not everything has been perfect." She sat up out of his embrace and hit him in his arm.

"I beg to differ Mr. Latekka."

"The only thing that hasn't been perfect is our little baby." Janet started giggling.

"That is so right but hopefully that will change today."

They have had two ultrasounds already to find out the sex of the baby and both times the only thing they had been able to clearly see was its butt. It was very important to Janet to find out the sex of the baby because Eddie needed and wanted to know what his child was going to be before he died and Janet's doctor understood that which is why she was doing the extra ultrasounds.

"What if the baby doesn't cooperate Janet and I die not knowing if I have a son or daughter?" He had tears in his eyes.

"I promise you that you will know if you have a son or daughter, no matter how may ultrasounds it takes. I don't care if I have to have one everyday you will know Eddie." She tapped on her belly. "Hey you in there. Daddy and I need your cooperation today. You need to be in the right position so we know what you are. I'm tired of calling you an it and this is really important to us so how about a little help today okay?" The baby kicked in response to its mother's voice. "That's a good baby." Janet looked at Eddie. "Did you feel that? The baby will cooperate today."

"I hope so honey because I'm living on borrowed time."

"Don't talk like that."

"It's true. As of today I should be dead. It's basically a miracle that I'm still alive so I am living on borrowed time."

"Then by God we are going to make the most of it. Our best friends our getting married tomorrow. We have the baby shower, Christmas, New Years coming up and our baby will be born in three short months. We have a lot of happy times to look forward to and more memories to make starting right now." Janet wiped the tears from Eddie's face and pulled him down on top of her. "I love you my sweet, sweet man."

--

"Okay Mrs. Latekka do you remember the drill?" The ultrasound tech asked with a smile. She had done the previous two ultrasounds.

"I remember the drill." Janet said with a smile. With Eddie's help Janet lay back on the table. She lifted her shirt and the tech put the cold gel on her stomach.

"All right let's see what we got." Eddie and Janet stared at the ultrasound screen as it came into focus.

"Oh my god." Eddie whispered. "Is it sucking its thumb?"

"It sure is." The tech answered.

"I can't believe that it can already suck its thumb. Janet do you see that?"

"I sure do." She whispered.

"The baby is in perfect position. I can see what you're having. Do you care to venture a guess?"

"I can't see a damn thing. Just tell us." Eddie said.

"Congratulations. You're having a boy."

"Are you sure?" Eddie asked

"I am positive." She froze the screen and pointed out their son's penis. "Can you see it? It's pretty obvious."

"Just like his daddy." Janet commented. The tech printed the pictures and handed them to the happy parents.

"Congratulations. I'm glad it all worked out."

--

"I am so not wearing heels tomorrow." Janet groaned as Eddie massaged her feet. They had just gotten home form Nick and Hannah's rehearsal dinner where she had wore heels and she was now paying for it because her ankles were swollen and her feet were killing her.

Nick and Hannah had gotten engaged two months ago and although neither of the said it out loud both Eddie and Janet knew that they pushed the wedding through quickly because they wanted to make sure that Eddie would be around to stand up for Nick.

"You could wear slippers and be the sexiest woman at the wedding."

"I will bring my slippers for the reception and I'm not supposed to be the sexiest woman at the wedding. That's the bride."

"I won't tell if you won't tell."

"You're biased Eddie. I cannot possibly be the sexiest woman at the wedding. I'm six months pregnant, big as a house and I don't have ankles any more, I have cankles."

"You are sexy as hell and I love your cankles." He lifted her foot his mouth and placed a kiss on it. "We need to decide on a name for our little man." Eddie said softly as he resumed the massage.

"That's easy. John Edward Latekka IV."

"No."

"What do you mean no? It's your family name."

"I want our son to be his own person. If he is given my family name as soon as he is born he has a name that he has to live up to. Sure, I go by Eddie but I was still John Edward III, named after my dad and grandfather. I don't want that for our son."

"What will your family say?"

"I don't care. It's not their kid. It's ours."

"I want him to have Edward as his middle name."

"Janet…"

"I want your name to be part of our son's name period."

"Okay fine." He conceded. "Edward as a middle name but what about a first name?" For the next thirty minutes they tossed out tons of different boy names but they found that they couldn't agree on one.

"What about Arthur?" Janet asked with a smirk.

"Now you're just being ridiculous Janet. We are not calling our son Art or Arty."

"Oh come on it's cute."

"You can't be serious."

"I'm not but since you've vetoed every reasonable suggestion that I have had I thought that I would throw Arthur out there. There was nothing wrong with Cooper, Liam, Caleb, Tyler, Kyle, Alexander, Evan"

"Jacob. What about Jacob?" Eddie suddenly interrupted.

"Hmmm Jacob Edward Latekka. I like it. No scratch that. I love it. It's perfect. What about you Jacob? Do you like your name?" Janet reached out, took Eddie's hand and placed it on her belly where Jacob was kicking like crazy.

"He likes it." Eddie said tearfully.

"You found the perfect name for our perfect little man."

"When you first got pregnant you said that you wanted a girl so are you okay with having a boy?"

"Of course I'm okay with having a boy. I'm going to have a miniature you and that makes it really okay. A girl would have just been easier for me."

"Easier? Girls are a pain in the ass to raise." He said with a smirk.

"No. We are perfect angels to raise."

"Pu…lease. Boys are so much easier."

"But if a girl asks me girl questions I can answer them but when Jacob asks me boy questions I'm afraid that I won't be able to answer them. Jacob will need…" She couldn't finish the sentence.

"For all the boy stuff that you don't think you can handle you will have dad around, and the guys will help out too. They have promised me that they will all be there to help you with anything you and Jacob will ever need."

"No offense to your friends but I don't want them. I want you, Jacob's father." She suddenly burst into tears. Eddie quickly pulled her up and into his arms. "This isn't fair. Jacob needs his father. I need you." She sobbed into his chest.

"I know Janet. I know. I want to be here." He held her tightly until her sobs subsided.

"Dammit I'm sorry." She sniffed wiping her eyes.

"Don't be sorry." He kissed the tip of her nose.

"I don't know where this came from."

"It's been inside you honey."

"I guess now that our baby has a sex and name it's more real than it was before. I'm scared Eddie. I don't know if I can raise our son by myself."

"You won't be by yourself Janet. You'll have my parents, Kate, Hannah, Nicky, all of our friends and your mom. And never forget that I'll always be with you, watching over you and Jacob."

"Oh sweetheart." Janet lifted her face and kissed Eddie passionately until a knock at the door broke them apart.

"Are we expecting someone?" Eddie groaned pulling away.

"No. Ignore it and maybe whoever it is will go away." Janet mumbled kissing his neck. Even though Eddie already took his pill for the day and they couldn't make love they still could make out.

"Dammit." He snapped. Ignoring the knocking was not working. Whoever it was, was not going away. "It's open." He yelled adjusting Janet's shirt back over her stomach.

"Hey guys. Did I interrupt something?" Katie asked with a knowing grin.

"What the hell do you think? We didn't answer the door." Eddie grumbled.

"No Katie. It's fine. Can I get you something to eat or drink?" Janet asked.

"A drink would be great." Janet went to stand up but Eddie put a hand on her thigh thus stopping her.

"You know where the fridge is. Go get it yourself." Eddie told his sister.

"Okay fine." Katie stuck her tongue out at her brother as she walked past him to the kitchen.

"That was rude." Janet told her husband.

"That's what she gets for interrupting us." Eddie said with a grin as he pressed his lips to Janet's again. He pulled away when he heard Katie clearing her throat. "God you're annoying." Eddie told his sister.

"It's what I do best."

"What the hell do you want?"

"Be nice Eddie." Janet said.

"Do you two have any plans on New Years Eve?"

"I don't know. Do we hon?" Eddie asked.

"Nothing yet. Are you having a big party?"

"Kinda."

"Kinda?" Eddie repeated with raised eyebrows.

"Ikey and I want to get married on New Years Eve." Eddie sat straight up.

"No way Kate."

"Excuse me?"

"You're not marrying Ikey on New Years Eve."

"Whoa back off. First of all you are not my father so you have no right to tell me what I can or can't or who I can or can't marry. Secondly, I thought that you were okay with Ikey and I dating."

"Dating Katie not marrying. You've only been with him for what now five months? You guys haven't been together long enough to get married."

"Whatever. You and Janet only dated for four months before you guys got married."

"True but Janet and I were friends for years before we started dating. You and Ikey can't say the same."

"But…"

"Kate you hardly know him."

"I do know him Eddie. We spend all of our free time together and he is an amazing guy. I love him and he loves me." Eddie reached out and took his sister's hand.

"Look bug I know why you're doing this, rushing into a wedding."

"I'm doing this because I love him." She whispered tearfully.

"Yeah there's that but just like Nicky and Hannah you want to rush into a wedding before I die." Tears fell from Katie's eyes.

"You're my big brother. I want you to see me get married to the man I love."

"Oh Katie bug, believe me, I want to see that too but not like this. I really like the fact that you and Ikey are happy together. He has really stepped up and been a good man for you but I don't want you to rush into a marriage because I'm dying. I would rather you take your time and really get to know Ikey, make sure that he is the one for you."

"I think that he is the one."

"You can't get married on think. You have to know. You have to know that you can't live without him, when you think of your future you see that doofus in it with you, the thought of being without him tears your heart into a million pieces."

"Is that how you and Janet feel about each other?" Katie asked.

"Its how I feel." Janet told her sister in law.

"Me too. I want you to feel what I feel for Janet even if it is with Ike so promise me Kate, promise me that you'll take some more time and then if you're sure then I'll support your marriage."

"But what if…what if you're not…here when I get married?"

"I'll always be with you bug even if I'm not I'll be in your heart. Remember that." Katie nodded and wiped her tears. "So no wedding on New Years Eve?"

"No wedding."

"What the hell did mom and dad say when you told them?"

"Surprisingly they didn't freak. Mom just shook her head and then sent me over here to tell you. Oh my god where you guys in this together? Did she call you? Did you plan this?"

"No. She didn't call. The first I heard about this was when you told me."

"Janet." Katie looked at Janet because she knew that Janet couldn't lie.

"No she didn't call."

"Okay. I believe you."

"Gee thanks." Eddie snipped.

"You know I love you but I wouldn't put it past you to lie to me." The three of them burst out laughing.

"Katie, I'm really glad you stopped over." Janet said once the laughing died down.

"Why's that?"

"Yeah why is that? If I recall she interrupted us making out."

"Shut up Eddie. We can make out any time." Janet reached onto the floor for her purse, pulled out the ultrasound picture and handed it to Kate.

"Awww look at your baby. It looks just like you Eddie."

"Whatever. He looks like an alien."

"My point exactly. Just like his dad…wait did you say he?"

"Look at the next picture." Janet told her. Katie flipped to the next picture and saw the arrow pointing to her nephew's penis labeled boy.

"Oh wow. I'm going to have a nephew. You're having a boy." Katie stood and walked over to Janet. "May I?" Janet nodded and Kate placed her hand on Janet's belly. "Hi there little man. I'm your Aunt Katie and I'm going to spoil you rotten."

"Jacob. His name is Jacob Edward." Eddie told his sister.

"I love that name. Jacob Latekka. I love you little man." Katie whispered softly as her nephew kicked her. "Man he kicks a lot." Katie said laughing.

"Tell me about it. The boy never stops. He's quite annoying, just like his father."

"Hey." Eddie said pinching Janet.

"Oww." She nailed him in the face with a couch pillow.

"That's it. You're going down woman."

"I'll leave you two alone to fight this out." Katie said

"You don't have to leave Kate."

"That's okay Janet. I need to go talk to Ikey." She and Janet hugged and then she gave Eddie a hug and kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too Katie bug."

As Katie left her brother's house he heard Janet and Eddie pick up where they left, wrestling and laughing. She was so happy that her brother had found such happiness and true love with Janet.

--

"Dance with me." Eddie said holding out his hand.

"Baby, my feet hurt." Eddie knelt down and removed Janet's shoes and then slid her slippers on her feet.

"Come on." He grabbed her hand, pulled her up and led her to the dance floor. "As I recall we didn't dance at our wedding." He whispered wrapping his arms around her waist and they began swaying to the music.

"The wedding was really nice." She murmured.

"Do you wish we had a big wedding like this, the fancy dress, the bridesmaids, the cake, the reception, the dancing?"

"Not at all. I'm the one who wanted the Vegas wedding and our wedding was perfect well almost perfect expect for the headache you got."

"Don't remind me. But was it the wedding you always dreamed out since you were a little girl?"

"It was because I always dreamed of marrying an amazing man that I loved more than anything so yes it was the wedding I always dreamed of having." She lifted her head off of his shoulder and kissed him softly. "What about you sweetheart? Was our wedding everything you dreamed of?"

"I'm a guy. We don't care about the wedding. What guys care about is the honeymoon or more accurately the sex that comes with the honeymoon." He said with a grin. "Honestly Janet, I never thought about marriage until you came along. Sure I figured one day that maybe I would get married but it was just a thought. By the end of our first date I knew that I wanted to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you."

"Really? After our first date you knew that?" She had tears shining in her eyes.

"I did. I really did."

"So you were thinking about our possible honeymoon after that date?"

"Oh yeah."

"So you wanted to sleep with me by the end of our first date?"

"Nah." A look of surprise crossed her face. "I wanted to sleep with you halfway through the date. I seriously considered clearing the table and doing you in the middle of the restaurant." He told her with a wink.

"And here I thought that you were such a gentleman."

"Not so much. I was a chicken. I figured that if I tried anything more than a kiss on our first date you would have nailed me in my crotch and I never would have seen you again."

"You were right. I'm a lady who doesn't put out on the first date."

"What about the second date? Would you have put out on the second date?"

"You'll never know." She told him with a wink.

"May I cut in?" Jack asked.

"Do I have to dad?"

"Move it boy." Eddie kissed Janet's cheek and then walked over to the bar where Ikey was standing.

"What goes on?" Ikey asked his friend.

"Dad snuck in on my woman."

"That sucks."

"Yep."

"Look man I want you to know the New Years Eve wedding was Kate's idea."

"I know."

"And I only agreed to it because I knew that it was what she wanted."

"I know."

"Are you pissed off at me?"

"Nope."

"Really? Could have fooled me." Eddie sighed and looked at his friend.

"Look man I know that you care for Kate but it scares me that you would agree to something as major as marriage just because it was what she wanted."

"I just don't care for your sister dude. I love Kate and she wasn't the only one who wanted it. I wanted and still want to marry her. You were right though we were rushing into it because we are scared that you will be dead by the time we decide to get married."

"That's not a good enough reason to rush into marriage Ike."

"I know that. We know that and that's why we are waiting."

"You make her happy Ikey. She's something in you that makes her happy. I've seen a change in you since you two started dating. You aren't as goofy as you used to be."

"Gee thanks."

"Look me in the eye Ikey and tell me how you really feel about Katie." Eddie requested.

"I adore your sister. She is all I think about. I want to make her happy. I've never felt like this before. I really do love her with my whole heart." As Ikey poured his heart out to his friend Eddie believed him. Eddie was convinced that Ikey felt for Kate like he felt for Janet.

"What's going on here? Eddie are you being nice?" Katie asked walking up and linking her arm through Ikey's.

"I'm always nice. Ikey and I were just having a nice chat weren't we Ikey?"

"We sure were." Eddie nodded at his friend who smiled at him.

"Eddie I'm ready to go home." Janet said limping over to him. She looked exhausted and her poor feet were swollen to twice their size.

"Okay sweetheart. Let's go." Eddie and Janet said their goodbyes to the bride and groom and then, both exhausted they headed home.

Once they arrived home Eddie helped Janet into her pajama's, tucked her in bed, kissed her goodnight and she was sound asleep within five minutes and Eddie couldn't blame her. She had been up since very early this morning helping Hannah get ready for the wedding.

Eddie had a lot on his mind and he couldn't sleep. He has been bothered by Janet's comment yesterday regarding questions that Jacob would ask that she won't be able to answer, boy questions. Eddie knew that Nicky, Owen, Ikey, Phil, his dad, and the man that Janet would marry would be there to help Janet out in that department but there were some questions that only a dad can answer, stories that only a dad can tell and Eddie wanted to be the one who answered some of these questions and tell some of these stories and he knew just how to do it. Grabbing a notebook out of the desk he sat down and began to write the first of many letters to his son.

_Dear Jacob-_

_Hi. It's your dad here. I know that this might seem really weird to be getting a _

_letter from a dead man but there are some things that I want to share with you, _

_things that your mom, grandpa or uncles can't, things that should be between a father _

_and son so here goes. Yesterday we had our 3__rd__ ultrasound because you were being a _

_pain in the butt and we finally found out that you are a boy. I am so excited but your mom _

_is nervous. Because she is a girl she will be more comfortable raising a girl and since I _

_won't be here to help she is scared. I really hope that you are going easy on her. I hope_

_that you know that you have the best mom in the world. She is a precious, amazing _

_woman and I know she loves you so much. Just so you know, I gave your uncles _

_permission to bust your ass if you are disrespecting your mother so you better watch_

_it. If I was still alive I wouldn't put up with any disrespect of her and I'm not going _

_to put up with it while I'm dead. _

_I want to tell you the story of your mom and I. I'm sure you probably told it to you_

_but I want you to hear it or read it from my point of view. Your mom and me had been _

_friends for a few years. She was the bartender at the only bar in The Ridge. She watched_

_me come and go with woman, listened to me complain about them or my life and we talked. We talked a lot about anything and everything. I had thought that I was feeling _

_something more then friendship but I wasn't quite sure what it was because honestly, I had never felt like that before. Your mom was so much better than I was and she deserved someone a lot better then me but when I saw her leave with some loser from The Duf I knew right then and there that I wanted to be the man she left with. The next day I asked her out and the rest is history. She was like no other woman that I had ever dated. She was beautiful but didn't know it, she was strong, and she knew what she wanted from me and she wasn't afraid to tell me. I knew son, after that first date that I was going to marry that woman. _

_But of course things don't always go like planned. Four lousy months after we started dating I get cancer and told I'm going to die. I was so afraid to tell your mom, not because I thought she would leave me, I knew she wouldn't but I didn't want to break her heart which I knew I was going to do. I had found the woman of my dreams, I was happy and I was going to die in a few months. It really sucked but your mom made it better. She not only stuck by me but she proposed. I wanted to marry her Jacob, believe me, but I didn't think it was fair to ask her then die but she took care of that and she wouldn't let me say no, not that I wanted to and let me tell you, it has been the best decision that I have ever made. These last five and half months that we have been married have been the best five and a half months of my life._

_My goal, while I still can, is to write you as many letters to you as possible. I want to answer as many questions for you, questions that you would have for your dad. You can show these letters to your mom if you want. I know that she won't ask to see them because she will understand that this is between me and you but I don't care if you want to show them to her. If she is sad these may make her smile. _

_You're supposed to be born in just three months. It may not seem like very long but to a dying man three months can seem like forever if you're waiting for something. So far my medicine is working so there is a chance that I may be around when you are born. I hope like hell I am because I really want to hold you and see what you look like. I really want the chance to be your dad, even if it is just for a short time. I never knew I could love someone so much that I hadn't even met yet but I love you Jacob, so much and I hope one day to get to tell you that. _

_Love, Dad _

As Eddie signed dad his tears fell. He never realized one word could have so much meaning. "Dad", he always knew that it was an important word but as he signed it he realized just how important "dad was. God, he wants to be Jacob's father so bad. He knows officially he is Jacob's dad now but he wanted to be a dad. He wanted to hold his son, calm him when he is crying, feed him, bathe him, and change his diapers. He wants to be a dad, a real dad and he was going to fight with everything he had to make sure he had that chance.


	15. Chapter 15

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Merry Christmas baby." Janet said brightly walking into their bedroom with a tray of French toast, bacon, fried potatoes, fresh fruit, coffee and juice.

"Time?" He grumbled through closed eyes.

"Almost ten." Eddie's test results were still the same, his cancer still wasn't growing which was amazing but he was sleeping more than normal.

"You shouldn't have let me sleep so late."

"But it gave me plenty of time to cook this amazing breakfast that we are going to share in bed."

"You know I love breakfast in bed." Eddie pulled himself into a sitting position and Janet placed the tray over his lap and then climbed on the bed next to him. As soon as she was settled under the covers Eddie leaned over and kissed her gently.

"Merry Christmas Janet." He whispered in her ear bringing goose bumps to her flesh.

"Are you hungry?" She asked when he pulled away.

"A little. You?"

"Yeah. Your son is constantly making me hungry." She grinned at him.

"My son huh? I believe he is just as much my son as he is yours."

"Just shut up and eat." Eddie took his fork, cut a piece of the French toast and held the fork up to Janet's mouth. "Eddie." She said laughing.

"Come on. Open wide. I can't have my son starving."

"What about your son's mom?"

"What about her?" Eddie shoved the fork in her mouth before she could respond. "You know I will always take care of you."

"I know." She whispered.

It took them over an hour to finish their breakfast in bed because Eddie would not let Janet feed herself and after every bite he had to kiss her. The pieces of French toast were the worst because he would make sure he would spread they syrup over her face and then he would lick off of her. By the time they were done eating Eddie's medication had kicked in and he had a major hard on. He pulled his very pregnant wife over to him, knocking the tray onto the floor in the process and they made slow sweet love.

--

"Merry Christmas sweetheart." Sharon Meadows said as soon as Janet opened the door.

"Merry Christmas mom. Come on in." Janet held the door open and Sharon walked in carrying a bag full of gifts for her daughter, son-in law and future grandson.

"Oh my God. No offense Janet but you look like you are going to explode."

"Three more weeks." Eddie said walking into the living room. "At her appointment two days ago she was a centimeter and a half dilated." He walked over and embraced his mother in law.

"So it could be anytime." Sharon said.

"Hopefully." Janet said, rubbing a hand over her belly and staring at Eddie. Neither of them thought he would live this long and they were so grateful that he was still here.

"So are we ready?" Eddie asked. They were spending the day celebrating Christmas at Eddie's parents with Katie. Throughout the day Ikey, Hannah, Nick, Sam, Phil, Pizza Girl, Owen, Allison and the kids would be stopping by.

"Almost. I need your tennis shoes Eddie. My shoes don't fit." Janet's poor feet were so swollen that the only shoes that would fit were Eddie's untied tennis shoes.

"Sit down and I'll get them honey."

"How is he sweetheart?" Sharon asked when Eddie walked out of the room.

"He's fighting mom. He's fighting like hell. We didn't think that he would be here for Christmas. It's a miracle that he is here and I am so grateful that he is but it's so hard mom. Everything that we do or experience I keep thinking is this the last time? Like today, this is our first Christmas and probably our last together and I hate it. I hate living my life thinking that this is the last time we will experience something. I don't have much time left and I need to be enjoying it not keeping a tally of final times." Janet sniffed and wiped away the few tears that had fallen.

"In your situation it's hard not to think about that stuff but you need to just concentrate on enjoying the first of everything that you and Eddie will experience together and not think about the fact that you may not have that experience again."

"Oh mom it's just not enough time."

"I know Janet. I know."

Eddie was standing in the doorway listening to the conversation between Janet and her mom and he had to wipe away the tears that had fallen. He hated what his precious Janet was going through. He had it so damn easy. After he was dead that was it. It was over for him but not for her. She would have to go on, living her life, raising their son without him. It wasn't fair. Taking a deep breath he put on a happy face and walked back into the living room.

"Got the shoes." He said brightly. He dropped down to on one knee and slipped on his tennis shoe onto her very swollen foot.

"I feel like Cinderella." She said giggling. "Except Cinderella had prettier shoes that didn't smell so bad."

"Hey be grateful that I'm letting you wear my shoes. I could just let you go barefoot out in the snow."

"You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I?" He slid the other shoe on her other foot and winked at her. Janet leaned forward until her face was an inch away from his and placed both hands on his cheeks.

"You wouldn't." She said confidently. Eddie smiled and Janet closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together. "I love you." She whispered when they broke apart.

"I love you too."

--

"Eddie will you turn the damn camera off." Katie asked her brother.

"Hey Katie language. There will be little ears watching this video." Eddie turned the camera on himself. "Sorry about that Jake. Your aunt Kate has no manners. I'll work on her. Let's go shake some presents. Pay close attention son because this is the best way to figure out what your presents are." He walked over to the Christmas tree and picked up a box and proceeded to shake it.

"EDDIE." Laura, Jack, and Janet shouted and he just grinned at them.

"One thing I probably should have mentioned Jake make sure that no one is around when you shake your presents because you don't want to get busted my the parental folk."

"I think you shouldn't have bought him that damn camera." Laura told Janet with a smile.

"It's what he wanted and I'm powerless to resist him."

"Why did he want it?" She asked Janet softly.

"He wants to record himself reading stories for Jacob so that way…" Janet couldn't finish the sentence but Laura knew what she was saying.

"Let me see that ring he got you. I saw it in the box so now I want to see it on your finger." Laura said holding out her hand. Janet placed her right hand inside of Laura's and she examined the ring closely.

Janet told Eddie that she didn't want anything for Christmas but of course it went in one ear and out the other. He bought her a mother's ring with Jacob's soon to be birth stone being the main stone in the middle and then her and Eddie's birthstone on either side of Jacob's. "My boy did good." Laura said proudly.

"He did really good."

"I guess we better open the presents before Eddie unwraps them all by himself."

"Has he always been like this?"

"Always. He was a terror. He loves presents. Hey Eddie tell your wife about the one year you woke up before you were supposed to."

"No mom." He shoved the video camera in his mom's face. "You tell Jake that story."

"All right Jacob. One year on Christmas morning your aunt Katie came to wake up your gramps and I so we could all open our presents. I was surprised that your daddy didn't wake us up first because he always woke up first on Christmas morning. Anyways, when we went to wake your daddy up he wasn't in his room. Guess where we found him?"

"Downstairs with the presents?" Janet guessed.

"Oh yeah downstairs with the presents. Every one of them was opened and he was sound asleep in the middle of the mess." Laura said laughing.

"He even opened my presents." Katie said.

"How old was he?" Janet said laughing.

"Ten I think."

"And he opened all of my presents." Katie said again and Eddie turned the camera on his sister.

"It was years ago Kate. Get over it."

"So what did you do to him?" Janet asked with a grin. She could easily picture a ten year old Eddie pulling a stunt like that.

"What any good parent would do. We rewrapped Kate's gifts, busted Eddie's butt and took away his new gifts for a month."

"Ouch." Janet said.

"Yeah tell me about it. It really sucked that all of my friends had these cool new presents that they could play with and I had nothing."

"You deserved it." Katie said.

"Katherine Elizabeth Latekka let it go." Eddie told his sister and Janet just giggled.

"I was really traumatized John Edward Latekka III."

"All right you two enough." Jack said laughing. "It never ends. They are two adults and they still act like kids."

"He started it." Katie said.

"No I didn't. You did."

"I'm glad that I only had one child." Sharon said.

"You were smart." Laura told her. "All right everyone take your seat and we'll open our presents."

"Oh can I hand them out?" Eddie asked and everyone burst out laughing. "Please mom?"

"All right Eddie."

Eddie handed out everyone's gift and then for the next hour they all opened their gifts with laughter and sincere thanks. Eddie had asked that his family treat this like any other Christmas and get him regular gifts so he got some clothes since most of his didn't fit him anymore and his parents got him a DVD/video machine that could convert the video's he was recording onto DVD's. It was the one thing he asked his parents for. Eddie and Janet were given a lot of gifts for Jacob which Eddie insisted on opening. Katie gave them both a scrapbook of their wedding and bachelor/bachlorette parties.

"Katie this is amazing." Janet whispered tearfully as she flipped through the pages. She could tell that Kate had out a lot of work into it. "Thank you so very much. I love it."

"Yeah Kate. This is awesome. Thanks." Eddie said.

"I'm working on one for Jacob right now. I have the pictures of you throughout your pregnancy and pictures of your shower to start with and I'm just going to keep adding until the book is full and then I'll start another one."

"Will you show me how to make one of these books?" Janet had a lot of pictures of her and Eddie and she wanted to make her own scrapbook of the two of them.

"I would love too. Scrapbooking is so much fun and you will love it. We will go shopping and buy all kinds of stuff. We will have so much fun."

"So tell me how this works." Janet requested and Katie launched into an elaborate explanation. Eddie sat back on the couch and watched his sister and wife talk. He couldn't stop the smile that crossed his face. Laura and Jack sat and watched Eddie watching Janet. Their hearts filled with happiness when they saw the happiness that was shining in their son's eyes.

As the sun set on Christmas Day for the Latekka family and Sharon they all knew that this would a Christmas that they would treasure always, a Christmas with Eddie. They all knew that this would probably be the last Christmas that they would all be together as a family and as happy as this day was, it was overshadowed by a great sadness.

--

"How far apart are they now mom?" Janet panted.

"Seven minutes." Sharon said looking at her watch.

Janet was a week away from her due date and at 12:30 her contractions woke her up from a dead sleep. She didn't want to wake up Eddie up so instead she woke her mom up who had taken a leave of absence at work to stay with Janet and Eddie until the baby was born and for as long as her daughter needed her afterwards. After talking to her mom she realized that she had probably been in labor since the early afternoon when her back started hurting. Her active contractions had been going on for about an hour and a half.

"Do you want me to wake Eddie?" Sharon asked.

"No. Not yet. The doctor said I shouldn't go to the hospital until the contractions are five minutes apart so I want to wait until it's time to go. If he doesn't get enough sleep he tends to get a headache and I want to avoid a headache if at all possible."

"Can I get you anything honey?" Janet just shook her head. She was too nervous to think.

"Uh oh." Janet felt her belly tightening alerting her to another contraction. Closing her eyes she gripped the arm of the couch. "There that wasn't so bad. I can so handle this whole giving birth thing. I might even forgo meds and go the natural route." Sharon decided not to remind her daughter that this was just the beginning and the pain would only get worse.

"You're contractions are four minutes apart. It's time to go to the hospital. I'll go and wake Eddie."

"My bag is packed in our room. Can you grab it?" Sharon nodded. "Also Eddie's pills. We need to bring those. He can't miss any of his doses."

"Which pills?"

"Just grab them all. I'll sort through them later." As Sharon headed upstairs to wake Eddie she knew that her daughter was going to make a wonderful mother. She could tell by the way she took such good care of Eddie.

"Hey Eddie." Sharon gently shook her son in law. Eddie just grunted and pulled the blankets around him. "Eddie wake up."

"Umph." Eddie opened his eyes and the first thing he noticed was Janet was not in bed next to him. It took him a second before he realized that Sharon was in the room. Eddie bolted straight up, his eyes wild with fear. "Janet, where is Janet?"

"It's time Eddie."

"Time? Time for what?"

"The baby. Janet is in labor."

"Holy shit." Eddie threw back the blankets, jumped out of bed and flew around the room throwing on jeans and a tee-shirt while Sharon grabbed Janet's bag and all of Eddie's pills.

"Janet honey are you okay?" Eddie asked. Her face was contorted in pain. As soon as the contraction passed she took a deep breath and nodded.

"Can we go now?" In between her contractions she put on her coat and Eddie's shoes.

"Yeah sweetheart. We can go." Eddie wrapped an arm around h is wife, helped her up from the couch and out to Janet's jeep.

During the ride to the hospital Eddie sat in the back with Janet holding her tightly through the couple of contractions she had on the way while Sharon drove. As soon as they arrived at the hospital Janet was taken right to labor and delivery.

"Okay Janet you are five centimeters dilated. Would you like an epidural?" Her doctor asked.

"Not yet. I want to try to do it naturally."

"Don't wait too long. If the pain gets unbearable let the nurse know and we'll get you hooked up."

"Thanks."

"Are you sure you want to go without meds honey?" Eddie asked

"I think so. The pain isn't too bad."

Four hours later Janet had only dilated one more centimeter and she was miserable. She had honestly expected to have delivered Jacob by now but he was not cooperating. She really didn't want to get an epidural but she was in a lot of pain and it didn't look like it would be over anytime soon.

"Hang on baby. It's almost over." The nurse had shown him how to read the fetal monitor so he knew when a contraction was coming and when it was over.

"Son of a bitch." Janet gasped when the contraction passed. Her whole body hurt.

"Come on sweetheart. Don't torture yourself. Get the damn epidural." He begged her. He hated to see her in so much pain especially since there was pain medication available. "I don't want to see you hurting so much." Janet finally nodded in agreement and Eddie paged the nurse. Ten minutes later the anesthesiologist was in the room and Janet was sitting on the edge of the bed with Eddie kneeling in front of her holding both of her hands.

"Janet don't move." The doctor told her and she just nodded. She squeezed Eddie's hand tightly as the needle was inserted into her lower back. "You're doing great."

"Oh god, please hurry." She begged as she felt the beginning of another contraction. "Another one is coming."

"Mr. Latekka hold her tightly through this contraction. Keep her very still. It is imperative that she does not move." Eddie stood up, and wrapped his arms around his pregnant wife.

"Hold on to me Janet." Janet wrapped her arms around Eddie and buried her face in his chest.

"Eddie." She cried as the contraction hit.

"Hold still Janet. Hold still."

"It hurts. It hurts so bad." She cried and Eddie felt tears hitting his shirt.

"You are doing great Janet. I am so proud of you."

"Oh. My. God. Son of bitch." She said through gritted teeth. Eddie and Janet continued to hold each other until the contraction passed and then the anesthesiologist finished the procedure.

"Very good Janet. The epidural is in and you should be feeling better shortly."

"Thank you doctor." Eddie said as he helped Janet settle back in bed.

"I kept a port in your back so if it wears off before your child is delivered they will call me back and next time it will be a piece of cake."

"Thanks." Janet mumbled.

"Here sweetheart. Have some ice chips." Eddie said. Janet gratefully took the chips from Eddie and they resumed waiting for their son to be born.

--

"Seven and a half centimeters." Dr. Fulton said.

"That's it?" An exhausted Janet claimed. "In ten hours I've only dilated 2 and a half centimeters? I don't know how much more of this I can take." Her epidural wasn't working as well as everyone had hoped. She was still in a moderate amount of pain but she wasn't complaining.

"Why don't you and your husband go talk a walk?" Dr. Fulton suggested.

"A walk? I'm really not in the mood to walk." Janet said.

"Walking can sometimes speed things up."

"Let's walk Eddie." Dr. Fulton laughed.

"I'll be back in another hour to check your progress." He said walking out of the room.

"Come on honey." Eddie helped her out of bed and he slipped her robe and slippers on. Once she was ready he wrapped an arm around her and they began to walk the hallway of the maternity floor.

"I didn't think that it would be like this." Janet said tearfully.

"You are amazing Janet. I don't think that I could do this, hell baby I know I couldn't."

"Oh it's nothing." She said her voice full of sarcasm. "Dammit. Here comes another one."

"I got you." Eddie held her tightly as she cried through her contraction.

"I'm so glad that you're here with me." Janet whispered as they continued to walk. "I couldn't do this without you." Eddie stopped walking and faced his wife.

"Janet you have no idea how glad I am that I am still alive to be here with you for the birth of our son even though he is being a pain in the ass."

"Pain everywhere else is more like it." She said and Janet grinned despite the pain.

"But you need to know something sweetheart. You are the strongest woman I know and I know that even if I wasn't here I you would have been able to have our son." Janet wrapped her arms around Eddie and hugged him tightly.

"I love you so much." She whispered tearfully. "Thanks so damn much for fighting to stay with me and Jacob."

"I love you too."

--

Jack walked into the bathroom attached to Janet's room and found his son on the bathroom floor holding his head in his hands. His head had been hurting for the past few hours but only during the past hour had the headache become unbearable. Eddie had disappeared into the bathroom about twenty minutes ago and they had all heard him vomiting from the other side of the closed door. "I just need a nap." Eddie said. "I only got a few hours of sleep last night and a nap will help me."

"Come on son. Let's get you to the E.R." Eddie and Jack both knew that a nap wasn't going to help.

"I'm not leaving her." Eddie mumbled through closed eyes. "I have to be here for Jacob's birth. I have to."

"You can't even stand and it hurts to open your eyes. Let's get you better so you can enjoy your son once he arrives."

"God dammit son of a bitch." Jack watched in shock as Eddie began hitting himself in the head. "I hate this. I fucking hate this." He shouted through his tears and Jack rushed to his son, grabbing his hands.

"Eddie stop it." Eddie quickly relaxed in his father's. "Shhh. It's okay. Calm down. You're going to upset Janet." Jack knew the thought of upsetting Janet would calm Eddie down. "She doesn't want to see you in so much pain."

"I don't want to miss…"

"I know Eddie but you're in no condition to be here. Let's get you better and back to your wife as soon as we can okay?" Eddie nodded and Jack helped him to his feet, out of the bathroom and into the wheelchair that was waiting for him.

"Baby I'm so sorry." Eddie whispered sadly when Jack wheeled him over to the bed. Janet reached out and placed her hand on his cheek.

"Just feel better and hurry back. Your son and I will be waiting."

Forty-five minutes later Eddie was in a pain medication induced sleep and Janet was finally ten centimeters dilated and was pushing their son out into the world without her husband by her side.

"Okay Janet I can see the head. Give me another good push and it should be out." Dr. Fulton said.

"The camera. Is it ready?" Janet asked Laura. She wanted to make sure that Eddie would be able to see their son as soon as he was born and hear his first cry.

"Yes Janet. It's all set." Laura told her for the fifth time. After every push Janet asked her the same thing but Laura understood that it was very important to Janet that these memorable moments are on tape for Eddie to see.

"Time to push Janet." She sat up, Sharon held her leg back and Janet pushed and then collapsed back against the bed. "Janet that wasn't a push. You need to give it more power if you want your son to be born."

"I'm so tired." Janet said through closed eyes. She had been in labor for nineteen hours.

"Honey, I know you're exhausted but it's almost over. Just a few more pushes and it will all be over."

"I…I…don't know if I can do it. I'm so tired and it hurts so damn bad." Tears began to fall from Janet's eyes as she felt her resolve failing. She was so tired and she was in so much pain and all she wanted was Eddie.

"You can do it." Laura told her.

"I want Eddie." She sobbed.

"Eddie wants to be here too but he can't. He's counting on you to deliver your son and you don't want to let him down do you?" Sharon asked her daughter and Janet shook her head. "Okay then sit your ass up and push that baby out." With newfound determination Janet sat up and pushed as hard as she could.

"Ahhhhhhhhh." She groaned as Jacob's head slid out. Her heart seemed to freeze until the doctor cleared the mucous and she heard him cry.

"Now it's time for the shoulders. Give me a really good push Janet." Janet gritted her teeth and pushed with all of her remaining strength.

"Oh….my…God." She screamed in agony as the shoulders came out.

"Great job. The worst is over." Janet cried when she felt the rest of her son slid out of her. Dr. Fulton held up the screaming baby boy. "Congratulations. It's a boy." One of the nurses quickly laid a blanket over Janet's chest and Dr. Fulton laid the screaming, squirming bundle on his mother's chest.

"Hi Jacob. I've been waiting to meet you for a long time." Janet sobbed to her son.

"Janet do you want to cut the umbilical cord?"

"Can you do it but is it possible to leave some of the cord for my husband to cut when he returns?"

"Absolutely." Dr. Fulton cut the cord and then a nurse took the baby out of her arms and Laura followed with the camera, recording every moment for her son.

"Did you see him?" Janet asked her mother tearfully and Sharon nodded, to choked up to speak. "He's perfect and looks just like Eddie."

"I can you in him too."

"A little but he is mainly all his father."

"Janet one more push so we can get the placenta out." Janet bore down and pushed the placenta out.

"Is he okay?" Janet asked the nurse. Jacob had been screaming since he had been taken away from his mom.

"He's fine Mrs. Latekka. We're cleaning him up and he doesn't like it. He weighs 7lbs 10oz and he is 20 inches long." Janet watched intently as the nurse wrapped her son up and carried him over to her. "Here you go." Janet reached out and took her son in her arms. She leaned down and kissed his perfect little head.

"I love you so much Jacob Edward Latekka."

--

"Are they both okay?" Eddie asked his dad as he wheeled him to Janet's room.

"Yes Eddie they are both fine."

"You're sure? You've seen them?"

"Yes son. I have seen them both and they are perfectly fine."

"What does Jacob look like?"

"A baby." Jack answered.

"Dad."

"Just wait until you see him."

"Can I walk?" Eddie was becoming very impatient.

"No. The E.R. doctor insisted that take a ride. Hell, Eddie you're lucky that he let you out." The doctor wanted to keep Eddie in the E.R. for observation but Eddie begged, pleaded and argued until he released him.

"Stop." They were in front of the nursery. Jack leaned forward and put the brakes on the wheelchair and Eddie slowly stood up. He was still slightly weak from the headache and exhausted from the medication. "Where is he? Where is Jacob?" Eddie asked looking through the window.

"I'm not sure Eddie. Maybe he is in the back." Holding onto the widow and wall he slowly walked over to nursery door and knocked.

"May I help you?"

"I would like to see my son."

"May I see your wrist band?" Eddie held out his arm and the nurse scanned his wrist band. "Baby boy Latekka. He is getting his bath right now. Would you like me to bring him to his mother's room when he is done?"

"Yes please." The nurse shut the door and Jack helped Eddie back to the wheelchair. "To Janet's room please." Jack grinned and pushed Eddie down to Janet's room.

"Hey sweetie." Laura whispered when Eddie and Jack came in the room. She stood from her chair, walked over and kissed him. "How is your headache?"

"Much better. How is she?" Eddie asked staring at his sleeping wife.

"Exhausted but happy. She will be happier when she sees you."

"I'm glad you're better Eddie." Sharon said coming over to embrace her son in law.

"Thanks for being here with her."

"We're going to leave you, Janet and Jacob alone for the rest of the day. We've called your friends and they will all be here tomorrow so you and Janet can get to know your son." Laura explained

"Thanks mom, dad, Sharon. Thanks for everything."

"It's what we're here for." Jack said. They all said their goodbyes and left Eddie and Janet alone. He wheeled himself over to her bed. As if she sensed his presence she opened her eyes, turned her head to him and a smile crossed her face.

"How is your headache?" Her first concern was always for him.

"Better. How are you?"

"I'm better to. In fact I'm wonderful. Eddie we have a perfect little boy. Hand me my call button and I'll have the nurse bring him down here."

"I already stopped at the nursery and he was getting a bath. They will bring him down as soon as he is done." Eddie reached out for her hand. "I'm so sorry that I wasn't here honey. I really wanted to be. I wanted it more than anything." Tears filled his eyes.

"I know you wanted to be here but it couldn't be helped."

"Was it bad?"

"It was horrible. By the time I was pushing the epidural wasn't working and the other pain meds they gave me weren't helping. I have never hurt like that before but as soon as he was placed in my arms I forgot all about the pain. Seeing and holding our baby, the pain was totally worth it."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Your mom taped everything, well most everything for you to see; from his first cry on so you can see it all. The doctor left some of the cord on too so you can cut it cause I know you wanted to do that."

"You thought of everything."

"Don't I always?" Eddie gripped Janet's bed, pulled himself to his feet and gently kissed his amazing wife until he could no longer breathe. "I love you." She breathed.

"I love you too."

"Knock knock someone wants to see his mom and dad." Janet's nurse Melinda said wheeling in the bassinet. "Would you like to hold him or leave him in the bassinet?"

"Can I hold him?" Eddie asked.

"He is your son Eddie. Of course you are going to hold him." Eddie sat back in the wheelchair while Melinda lifted Jacob up and brought him over to his father.

"Here you go dad." As soon as Jacob was placed in his arms Eddie's eyes filled with tears. "Call me if you need anything."

"Thank you Melinda." The nurse slipped out of the room and for the next ten minutes Janet watched in silence as Eddie stared at the sleeping bundle in his arms with tears flowing from his eyes.

"You're right Janet. He's perfect." He sniffed.

"He looks just like you."

"He has your eyes."

"Does he have all of his fingers and toes?"

"He does. Bring him up here and we'll check him out together." Janet scooted over to the side of the bed and Eddie and Jacob climbed up with her. They laid Jacob on the bed in front of them and unwrapped the blanket from around him and he started to scream.

"What? What's wrong? What did I do?" A panicked Eddie asked.

"You didn't do anything. He just doesn't like to be uncovered." Janet gave Jacob a pacifier that seemed to soothe him and then his parents examined him with a critical eye. Once Eddie saw for himself that Jacob had all of his pieces and parts they wrapped him back up and Eddie cradled this miracle in his arms. Once Eddie and Jacob were settled back on the bed Janet pulled the video camera off the table beside her bed and she and Eddie watched the video of Jacob's birth with tears streaming down his face.

Before the video was over Janet was sleeping with her head on Eddie's shoulder and her hand linked with his. Jacob was just lying in Eddie's arms staring at his father. "Hi Jake. I'm your daddy. I didn't think I would be here to see you, to hold you and I am so glad that I am. You are the most amazing kid and I am so lucky to be your father. Unfortunately son, I'm not going to be around for much longer Jacob. I'm sick and I'm dying. I can feel my body turning against me. I'm tired all the time and my headaches are becoming more frequent. I don't know how much more time I have left or how much fight I have left in me. I don't want to die Jacob and leave you and your mom but cancer is winning this fight but I promise you right now I'm going to continue to fight for as long as I can. I love you son, so much."

Janet had woken up when Eddie started talking but she lay perfectly still so Eddie could have this moment with his son. When he started talking about the cancer winning her heart broke. She had seen the changes in him over the past couple of months but she chose not to think about what it meant.

"Thanks for fighting baby." She whispered. She lifted her head and kissed his cheek.

"I always will." Eddie lifted his arm and wrapped it around his wife. She settled her head on his chest.

"Do you want me to call the nurse to put the baby back?" She asked.

"No. I want to hold him, hold both of you for as long as I can."


	16. Chapter 16

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Look Janet he's smiling." Eddie exclaimed.

"It's probably just gas." Janet commented.

"It's not gas. You're smiling at your daddy aren't you Jake?" There was a quick knock at the door and Dr. Turner walked in.

"So is this the newest member of your family?" Dr. Turner asked walking over to Eddie and checking out the bundle in his arms.

"This is our son Jacob. Jacob this is Dr. Turner. He is the man who gave daddy the medicine that kept him alive so far."

"He is very handsome. He looks just like you."

"I think so too." Eddie told his doctor proudly.

"Janet can you take your son so I can examine your husband?"

"I would love to." Janet stood and reached over to take Jacob from his father's arms, a place the baby spent most of his time.

Today Jacob was six weeks old and the past six weeks have been the best of Eddie and Janet's life. Jacob was such a good baby. He only cried when he was hungry or really tired. Janet was primarily nursing Jacob but she pumped as much milk as she could so Eddie could feed him. It didn't surprise Janet at all that Eddie was such a hands on father. There wasn't anything that he didn't do for his son. He woke up in the middle of the night to feed him. He bathed him, read him stories, changed his diapers, held him when he cried and held him when he was happy. In fact he was always holding Jacob. Sometimes Janet felt like she had to wrestle Jacob away from Eddie just to hold him but she understand why Eddie always had to be with Jacob, he needed to be with his son as much as he could before he could no longer spend time with him.

"Your neurological exam looks good. Have you noticed any changes in anything whether or not you think that it's significant?" Dr. Turner asked.

"Well maybe a small one." Eddie admitted.

"What? Why haven't you said anything to me?" Janet asked looking very mad.

"I didn't think that it was a big deal." He mumbled.

"That's not your call Eddie. Anything that changes can be a big deal." She snapped.

"Eddie what change have you noticed?" Dr. Turner asked, temporarily halting their argument.

"My pinky finger on my left hand has been going numb."

"Does it stay numb?"

"No it comes and goes."

"What is the longest period of time that it has stayed numb?"

"Uhhh…four hours once."

"When did the numbness began?"

"About three weeks ago."

"What does this mean?" Janet asked. "Is the medication no longer working? Is the cancer back?"

"No the numbness does not mean that the cancer is growing again. The latest M.R.I. shows no new tumors and the current tumors haven't changed sized."

"I don't understand. Why are his fingers going numb?" Dr. Turner could hear the distress in Janet's voice.

"The tumors aren't growing but they are making themselves more at home."

"Excuse me?"

"The tumors are settling into the brain tissue and that's why you are experiencing new symptoms."

"Should I expect this to continue or worsen?" Eddie whispered.

"The symptoms will probably continue. As for worsening I can't answer that."

"Why the hell not?" He snapped.

"No one has survived on this medication as long as long as you have. In other cases the medicine worked and then stopped. We have never seen anyone go as long as you have without new tumor growth which is why I can't answer your question. We are learning with you Eddie."

"So we have no idea what could happen?"

"Not exactly no." Eddie nodded. "Now because of these no developments Eddie I'm going to recommend that you not be left alone with your son."

"Do you mean that I could hurt him?"

"Not intentionally but because we are unsure of how your symptoms will progress something could happen, like a seizure when you are holding him."

"I understand." Eddie nodded with tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Eddie. I know how hard this is for you but at least you're alive."

"But what kind of life is it?" He mumbled.

"What did you say honey?" Janet asked because she didn't hear what he said.

"Never mind. It's not important."

Dr. Turner refilled Eddie's medications, gave him another month supply of the chemo medication because since it was still in the trial phases it wasn't available at any pharmacy. They scheduled his next M.R.I. and appointment and Eddie and Janet headed home. During the ride home Jacob slept and Eddie acted like he was sleeping. He really wasn't in the mood to talk to Janet. He wasn't in the mood to talk at all. He couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he could hurt Jacob, his sweet innocent boy and he was having trouble dealing with that.

"We're here." Janet announced.

"Where is here?" He mumbled opening his eyes.

"My doctor's office. Remember today is my six week post partum check."

"Oh yeah." Janet opened her door and Eddie just sat in his seat, making no effort to move. "Are you coming?"

"Why would I?"

"Excuse me?"

"It's your appointment. Not mine. I'll wait out here for you."

"It's the end of January. It's cold and snowing. You can't wait out here."

"That's why there are heaters in cars Janet. I'll be fine."

"I really don't want to Jacob back in the room with me so I need you to come with me and keep him occupied."

"Come on Janet. He'll be fine." Janet sighed in irritation.

"What happens if I'm in the middle of a pelvic exam and Jacob starts crying? I very well can't stop the exam and get him so you're coming with me."

"Fine." Eddie snapped. He slowly got out of the car and followed Janet in the office.

Once Janet signed in she sat down next to Eddie and took Jacob out of his carried. Eddie was flipping through a magazine practically ignoring his wife. Some of the nurses came out and ohhhed and ahhhed over Jacob. When Janet was called back she attempted to hand Jacob to his father.

"Put him in his carrier." Eddie requested.

"I have to go. Take him please." Janet placed Jacob in Eddie's arms and followed the nurse back. After her weight was checked she passed by the window that looked out into the waiting room and she saw that Eddie had already put the baby back in his carrier and she felt tears fill her eyes.

--

Janet woke up to the sounds of Jacob's cry filling their dark bedroom through his monitor. Normally Eddie would be jumping out of bed at the first whimper but not tonight. She could tell that he was awake but he was making no effort to get up. "Do you want to feed him?" Janet mumbled sleepily.

"You're the one with the tits. Not me." Eddie snapped as he rolled away from her.

A surge of anger flowed through her but she chose to ignore it and deal with him later. She threw back her blankets and headed to Jacob's room, turning off the monitor as she left. "Hey my little prince." Janet whispered to her son as she lifted him out of his crib. "Are you hungry?" She grabbed a blanket and settled herself in the rocking chair next to his bed. He eagerly latched onto her breast and began to nurse. "I know that you are used to daddy coming in on these nighttime feedings and I'm sorry that he isn't here tonight. In fact I'm sorry about how he has treated you since his doctor's appointment. I think that he really afraid that he will hurt you. Don't worry I'll talk to him and he'll be back to your regular dad soon but he does love you." Using her free hand Janet wiped away the couple of tears that had fallen.

Since his appointment with Dr. Turner, three days ago he has been pulling away from Jacob. In fact he hasn't held his son at all. When he was hungry Eddie wouldn't feed him. When it was bath time he was always doing something else that he couldn't be pulled away from. It seemed that Eddie had done a 180º turn going from a very devoted father who couldn't stay away to someone who doesn't want anything to do with his son and it was scaring Janet more than anything.

Janet even felt like he was pulling away from her as well. During the last six weeks since she gave birth to Jacob, Eddie kept telling her how much he wanted to make love to her, how he couldn't wait until she was cleared by her doctor to resume sexual activity. She received her clearance three days ago and Eddie hasn't mentioned one word about making love nor has he made any moves on her. If he kisses her it is distractedly, usually on her cheek. At night, he is always in bed before she is, acting like he is sleeping. Janet has wrapped her arms around him or laid her head on his chest, depending on the position he was in and he never made a move to hold her and within thirty minutes he was on his side of the bed, as far away from her as he could be without falling out.

After Jacob was fed and burped Janet returned him to his crib and she returned to her bedroom ready to confront her husband about his sudden change in attitude.

"What the hell Janet?" Eddie snapped when she turned on the overhead light.

"I should be asking you that question."

"Whatever."

"We need to talk Eddie."

"Can't it wait until the morning?"

"No. It can't."

"Dammit Janet there is nothing to talk about. Just let me sleep."

"Baby, I'm worried about you." Janet sat on the bed and pulled Eddie up.

"There is no need to worry. I'm fine." He mumbled, not meeting her eyes.

"No you're not. You have not held Jacob once since your appointment with Dr. Turner and he knows it Eddie. He has been more cranky and fussy over these past three days then he has ever been before and it's because of you. He got so used to your voice and your touch and he misses it. He wants his daddy."

"Don't lay guilt on me Janet."

"I'm not. I'm telling the truth. Why won't you hold him?"

"He safer if I don't."

"That's ridiculous."

"You heard what Dr. Turner said. Jacob is not safe around me."

"That is not what he said. Jacob is very safe around you. We just have to take precautions in case you get worse. It's for you as much as it is for Jacob. If something happens to you and you are alone I may not be able to get to you in time and we can prevent that if someone else is here with you baby."

"It's better this way."

"What way is better?"

"Jacob has been getting used to my presence and that's a bad thing."

"I don't understand."

"I'm going to be dead soon so the less he knows me the better off he will be."

"No baby." Janet whispered tearfully.

"He might as well get used to being without me now while he is still young enough not to remember." Janet reached out for Eddie but he pulled away from her.

"Is that why you are pulling away from me?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"I've been able to have sex for three days and suddenly you're not interested. When you kiss me it's like you aren't there and you haven't held me at night. You sleep far away."

"Maybe."

"What has changed Eddie? Why are you pulling away now? You are exactly the same as you were before your appointment."

"I just had time to think about stuff."

"Eddie…"

"Look I've got nothing else to look forward to but dying. I wanted to live long enough to meet my son and I've done that so now I'm ready to die." Janet began crying when he spoke those words.

"Well I'm not ready for you to die and neither is Jacob."

"You may not have a choice."

"What happened to you?"

"I got cancer." He snapped.

"You are a fighter Eddie Latekka. You should have been dead months ago but you're not because you have been fighting to live for me and Jacob. You say that you have nothing else to look forward too well that's bullshit Eddie. Our anniversary is coming up in a couple of months. We have so much to celebrate." Janet sobbed. "Your son is changing on a daily basis. You have so much to look forward to with him. Do you want to miss the first time he sits up on his own, his first laugh, first word, first steps. Watching Jacob change is enough to look forward to so don't you dare give up. Don't you let your son down." Eddie just stared at her with tears shining in his eyes and then he shocked her by lying back down in bed and closing his eyes. "You've got to be kidding me." She mumbled.

"I'm tired." He stated rolling over and clearing ending the conversation.

"Please Eddie…don't do this." Janet begged through her tears but Eddie ignored her. "You know you may have given up on yourself but I haven't. I love you." She stood up, leaned over and placed a kiss on his head but he didn't move. Sighing, she grabbed her pillow and spent the night in Jacob's room on the floor.

--

"Hi Dr. Turner. Thanks for calling me back." Janet spoke into the phone. She had called his office first thing when she woke up asking for him to call her.

"Sure thing Janet. What's up? Is Eddie okay?"

"No he's not. Since his appointment with you he's been pulling away. He's really afraid that he will hurt Jacob and he hasn't held him since. He…says that he is ready to die. I think he is giving up. You told me a few months ago to watch out for any signs of depression and I'm seeing the signs." Janet explained tearfully.

"Do you still have the list of therapists that I gave you when we had that conversation about depression?"

"I do."

"These therapists specialize treating patients that have been diagnosed with a terminal illness. They help patients deal with there impending death and their fear and sorrow associated with leaving behind their lives and loved ones."

"I don't think he will agree to therapy." Janet mumbled into the phone.

"Probably not at first but if anyone can convince him to do it it's you Janet. He will do anything you ask."

"I used to think so."

"Also I'm going to call in a prescription for an antidepressant. I think that it will help him."

"I'll try to get him to take them."

"I want to see him next week. I'm going to transfer you to my secretary to make the appointment."

"Thank you Dr. Turner."

"Call me if you need anything else."

An hour after Janet hung up with Dr. Turner the pharmacy called to let Janet know that Eddie's prescription was ready. Not even bothering to tell him that she was leaving she bundled Jacob up and they both went to the pharmacy and grocery store. She bought the stuff for Eddie's favorite dinner hoping the smell of her Lasagna would lure him out of their bedroom.

When Janet and Jacob got home and dinner was started and Jacob was fed and down for his nap Janet grabbed Eddie's new pills and headed to their bedroom. She found him in bed watching T.V. By the looks of him he obviously hadn't even bothered to get out of bed long enough to shower or shave.

"Here. You need to take this." Janet said holding out her hand with the antidepressant in it.

"What the hell is that?" Eddie grumbled, making no move to take the pill from her.

"Dr. Turner called in a new medication for you."

"I can see that. I asked what it is?"

"It doesn't matter." Janet whispered. Eddie sat up and started to reach for the pill in Janet's hand but at the last second, so she wouldn't see it coming he reached for her other hand that held the pill bottle and he grabbed it out of her hand.

"Antidepressant? What the hell is this? I don't need this."

"Yes you do."

"I'm not taking it." He yelled.

"Eddie…" Eddie never let her finish her sentence. He threw the bottle against the wall with such force that the lid popped off and the pills scattered all over the room.

"I'm not taking the god damned pills." He screamed at her. "Do you understand me?"

"You're scaring me." She told him softly.

"I want to be left alone. Why don't you get that?"

"You're not dead yet so stop living as if you are." Janet shouted back. She stormed out of the room in tears.

Shutting off the oven Janet again bundled up Jacob so they could leave. Janet had to get out of the house. She needed to clear her head and get away from Eddie.

"Hey Laura, sorry to barge in." Janet said as she walked into her in-laws carrying Jacob's carrier.

"You and Jacob are welcome here anytime. Here let me take him." Laura took the carrier from Janet. "What's going on sweetheart?"

"Eddie…he's just having a really rough time these last few days."

"Janet…"

"I've never seen him like this before Laura. He hasn't been out of our room in days and I'm scared. I think that I need some time alone with him. Would you mind keeping Jake overnight tonight? I really hate to ask but…"

"I would love to keep Jacob. That's what grandma's do." Before Jacob was born Laura and Jack turned Eddie's childhood room into a nursery for Jacob.

"Thank you so much." Janet took Jacob from his grandmother. "You be a good boy for your grandma and grandpa. Mommy is really going to miss you tonight but I need some time with daddy and try to help him. I love you so much my prince and so does daddy." Janet kissed her baby boy's head and handed him to Laura. "There is some frozen breast milk in the diaper bag. There should be plenty to get you through until tomorrow. If you have problems or if you need me call and I'll…"

"Janet we will be fine. Jacob likes hanging out here, don't you baby?" Jacob yawned in response to his grandmother's question. "You call me if my son needs a swift kick in his ass."

"I will. Thank you."

After Janet left her in-laws she drove to the high school football field to think. Since his diagnosis whenever Janet needed a place to think but feel close to Eddie she came to the football field, a place that Eddie loved. As she sat in her truck, looking out onto the field she smiled as she recalled all of the football games she went to during her high school career to see her crush play. She'll never forget the hail Eddie play that put Knights Ridge High on the map. It was so exciting. If she only knew then what she knows now things may have been different. They could have spent more time together, had more babies, who knows what they're lives would be like today if they knew back then that they were meant for each other. Would they of caught the cancer in time to save his life or would he already be dead.

Janet knows deep down the reason that Eddie has lived as long as he has because of his love for her and Jacob and his strong desire to see his son born and get to know him She was terrified that because he is giving up the cancer will start to grow rapidly again and he would die son and she wasn't ready to let him go…not yet.

Sometimes during her visits to the field Janet would get so angry at God. Angry because her husband and son's father was dying way too soon, angry because she has been given this extra time with the man she loved. She was so grateful for every day that she got to spend with the man she loved more than anything but she knew because of this extra time it would be so much harder for her in the end when she lost him. She was so conflicted and she couldn't imagine how Eddie must feel. Suddenly her cell phone rang pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Eddie?" Their home number had showed up on her caller I.D.

"I need you. Please come home."

"Are you okay?" She started up her jeep.

"Yeah…I…please can you just come home?"

"I'm on my way. Do you…" Janet never finished her sentence because Eddie hung up on her. She was a nervous wreck as she drove home. He didn't sound like he had a headache. He just sounded defeated and her heart broke.

"Eddie I'm here." She called as she rushed into the house. When he didn't answer Janet searched the living room, dining room and kitchen. When she didn't find him she rushed upstairs to their bedroom and bathroom and found it empty so that left just one more place, Jacob's nursery. "Oh baby." She whispered when she found him sitting on the floor, staring at Jacob's crib with tears rolling down her face. She rushed in and sat beside him on the floor and she wrapped her arms around him. He allowed Janet to pull him to her chest and he clung to her.

"I don't wanna die." He cried into her chest.

"Then keep on fighting baby. Keep on fighting."

"I'm getting worse."

"It's just a numb finger, not the end of the road."

"My hand."

"What about it?"

"It's shaking."

"Honey?" He pulled one of his arms away from Janet and reached for his bottle of antidepressants that he picked up off the bedroom floor. Janet watched in horror as his left hand shook uncontrollably. "When did this start?"

"The day of my appointment with Dr. Turner. It started shaking on the way home."

"Eddie…"

"No matter what Dr. Turner says it's starting Janet." Eddie whispered tearfully.

"Don't say that." Janet begged as Eddie rewrapped his arm around Janet and they held each other tightly in silence.

"Sweetheart?" Eddie said a few minutes later.

"Yeah?"

"Can you understand why I can't hold Jake?"

"How bad is the shaking? Is it constant?"

"No. Only when I have something in my hand."

"Then you can still hold your son. Your right arm is fine. Jacob will be safe in your right arm."

"I can't risk it. I can't take a chance and hurt him."

"You won't hurt him."

"I can. It's a huge possibility. What about that shaken baby syndrome?"

"Honey it's only your hand that is shaking. Jacob will be fine. I trust you with him. You just need to trust yourself."

"I'm scared Janet. I'm so scared. What is it going to be like? Am I going to go to heaven or hell? Does heaven or hell even exist? Will I be able to watch over you and Jacob? There is so much unknown and I don't know how to deal. I pissed off. I'm scared and I don't know what the hell to do."

"Will you see a therapist?"

"What the hell is the point?"

"There are therapists that can help you deal. They specialize in helping people diagnosed with a terminal illness deal."

"Will it help me feel better? Will I be happy again?"

"I hope so Eddie. I really do."

"I'll do it."

"There is something else that might help you feel better." Janet said.

"The antidepressants?"

"Dr. Turner said that depression is to be expected. It can't hurt to take it." Eddie reached back on the floor, picked up and opened the pill bottle, shook a pill onto his hand and quickly swallowed it. "I love you Eddie." Janet lifted her face and kissed him softly.

"Where is Jacob?" Eddie asked once they broke apart.

"With your parents. I thought that we could use some time alone."

"Can you go get him? I just really need him, well both of you close to me."

"Of course I will." They untangled from each other and stood. "Do you wanna come with me?" Eddie shook his head.

"I'm not really in the mood to deal with my parents tonight."

"I understand. Do you need anything while I'm out?"

"Just Jake."

"I can do that." Janet reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. "I love you so much. You know that don't you?"

"I do. I love you too sweetheart." Eddie cupped his wife's face and kissed her gently.

--

When Janet and Jacob returned home an hour later Janet was shocked to find the house full of candle light. Their dining room table had been set and in the middle were two lighted candles and a bouquet of daises. It was very romantic. "Eddie." She called.

"I'm in the kitchen. Go ahead and have a seat at the table. I'll be out in a minute. He called.

"Look what your daddy did. Isn't it beautiful?" Janet whispered tearfully to her sleepy son. It now made sense to her why Jack and Laura kept her at the house talking.

"Dinner is served." A freshly showered and shaved Eddie announced walking into the dining room carrying a box of pizza and Janet burst out laughing.

"Don't laugh. You know that I can't cook."

"Sorry." She giggled. Eddie returned to the kitchen for a minute and when he came back he was carrying two wine glasses full of milk which made Janet laugh even harder.

"I would have preferred wine but you can't drink it cause you're nursing and I can't drink it because of my meds so we are stuck with milk."

"It's perfect."

"Is he ready for bed?" Eddie asked nodding to Jacob who was comfortably sleeping in his mother's arms.

"He is. I had to wake him up to bring him home."

"Can I put him to bed?"

"He's your son. You don't need to ask and I think that he would like that very much." Eddie slowly reached out and took his baby in his arms.

"Will you come with me in case something happens?"

"You'll be fine."

"But I…"

"I trust you." Taking a deep breath Eddie left the dining room and carefully made his way upstairs with Jacob in his arms. Jacob was mostly in Eddie's right arm and his left arm was there for extra support. Eddie breathed a sigh of relief when they made it to the crib with no problems.

"Hey there little man. I am really sorry for ignoring you these past few days. I just got really scared and I shut down. I'm going to talk to someone to help me deal with what I'm feeling but there is one feeling, okay two feelings that I don't need help dealing with. It's the feeling of love that I have for you and your mommy. I love you both so much that it hurts. You two are the best things that have ever happened to me and I need to treasure what time I have left with you guys instead of worrying about what's going to happen." A tear slid down Eddie's cheek as he laid his son in his crib. "I love you little man. Sleep well."

When Eddie returned to the dining room he found his lovely wife sitting there waiting for him. As soon as she saw him she stood from her chair, wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "Thanks. I needed that." He whispered.

"I thought that you might."

"Come on. Let's eat before the pizza gets cold." They slowly broke apart and sat down. Eddie gave them each some pizza and then they linked hands as they ate. "I'm so sorry baby." Eddie told her as they ate.

"For what?"

"For the way I have been treating you these past few days. I hope that I didn't scare you."

"You did scare me. Especially when you threw the pill bottle across the room. I've never seen you like that."

"I hate that you had to see me like that."

"All is forgiven as long as you don't let it happen again."

"Deal." He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it softly.

After they were done eating Janet took their dishes to the kitchen to wash them while Eddie took a bottle upstairs to Jacob who had woken up. Since his left hand is shaking his plan was to hold Jake in his left arm and feed him with his right hand which worked out fine. Eddie was able to easily hold Jacob with one arm and when he rested his hand against his leg it didn't shake. Fifteen minutes later Jacob was burped and back to sleep and Eddie was back in the kitchen wrapping his arms around Janet's waist while she wiped the counters down.

"Hmmmm." She mumbled as Eddie placed soft kisses on her neck. "Jacob?" She managed to get out when his hands went under her shirt to caress her breasts.

"Sound asleep." Eddie grinned when he heard her moan softly. She tried to turn to face him but he held her tight. "Does that feel good?" Janet could only grunt in response. Eddie pulled his hands away from her breasts so he could raise her shirt over her head and pull her bra down over her breasts.

"Eddie…"She breathed as his hands pulled and tweaked her nipples and kissed her neck. She leaned against him and while she enjoyed the manipulation that her breasts were receiving she stretched one arm back behind her to grab his ass and the other she lifted up to wrap around his neck. Janet whimpered when he pulled one of his hands away and left a breast naked and alone but she soon was gasping in surprise when he slid that hand down her pants. "Oh…my…god." She moaned when his fingers found her clit.

"Easy there girl." He said with a smile when she began to grind and buck her hips against his hand. She was squeezing his ass hard and digging her nails into his neck. A loud moan from deep in her chest erupted as she climaxed around his hand.

As Janet came down from her climax she pulled his hand out of her pants and she was finally able to turn around and crush her lips to his, something that she has been wanting to do. As their tongues circled around each other Janet's hands unbuckled his belt and pants, slid his zipper down and quickly shoved his pants and boxers to the floor. When she finally tore her lips away from his eager ones she dropped to her knees on the kitchen floor and took her husband's large erection in her mouth while her hand moved in motion with her mouth.

"Son of a bitch Janet." He groaned. It took everything he had not to grab her hair. He had always thought that it was disrespectful to woman to do that. Since he has lost his ability to achieve his erection on his own they have learned that he could still get blow jobs as long as he didn't finish. If Janet stopped sucking in time he was still was able to keep it up so they could make love. "Janet…you gotta stop." He knew that he was ready to explode so with one last slurp she slowly pulled away and she reached for his hands to pull him down on the floor with her. "Holy hell woman. That was amazing."

"I'm glad you liked it." With a smug smile Janet pulled Eddie to her and they shared a slow, sensual kiss. "Upstairs." She gasped as his lips traveled down her neck.

"I don't think I'll make it." Thanking God that Janet was such a clean freak he gently pushed her back onto the kitchen floor, pulled her pants and underwear off with her assistance then he kicked his pants and boxers off as well, practically ripped his tee shirt off of his body and tossed it on the floor behind him.

Staring into his wife's blue eyes he lifted her right leg up off the floor, placed it on his shoulder and then he sank himself inside of her. Janet yelped in pleasure as he pushed deep inside of her. He loved the look in her eyes whenever they made love. They were full of love, passion and desire. Pulling almost all the way out and then sinking just as slowly back they never took their eyes off of each other. No words were spoken, no kissing and touching. They just concentrated that for a small amount of time they were no longer to separate people, they were one. When their orgasms hit them they both had tears streaming down their faces.

"Let's go upstairs." He mumbled into her hair when his breathing returned to normal. "I want to hold you."

"I want to be held." Eddie slowly withdrew from Janet, stood up and then helped his wife up.

"Let me grab our clothes."

"Leave them. We'll get them in the morning." Eddie grabbed her hand and they slowly made their way upstairs to their room and to their bed. They spent the next couple of hours kissing, touching and whispering into the dark until Jacob decided that he was hungry. Eddie went and brought Jacob to Janet to nurse and when he was done they laid him in the bed between them.

"Can you believe we made him?" Janet whispered in awe as she stared at her sleeping son.

"It's amazing. He is perfect. I am the luckiest man alive. I have a beautiful wife and the cutest son ever."

"We're pretty lucky to have you too."

"I love you my sweet, sweet Janet."

"I love you Eddie." They leaned forward over Jacob and kissed softly. They then linked hands and both quickly fell asleep while watching their son sleep between them.


	17. Chapter 17

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Eddie can't we take him with us?" Janet asked as cradled her three month old son to her chest.

"No hon, we can't take him with us on our anniversary trip. It's not like we had him there with us when we got married."

"Well technically we did." Janet said with a grin.

"Come on Janet. We're going to miss our plane."

"Okay." Janet hugged Jacob close to her chest and then she planted kisses all over his head. "Bye my little prince. You be a good boy for grandma and grandpa. I'm going to miss you so much. I'll call everyday to check on you. I love you." She handed Jacob over to Eddie before she lost all of her resolve.

"All right little man. Mom and me are only going to be gone for a week so you be good. We're really going to miss you but I promise you that we will bring you home lots of presents." Eddie kissed his boy and handed him off to his mother.

"You guys better go. You'll miss your plane." Laura said.

"Thanks so much for keeping him mom." Eddie said as he kissed her.

"It's my pleasure. Jake and I will have fun."

"I've started giving him formula mixed with breast milk and he…"

"Janet honey, she knows. Come on." They have been at the house for over an hour and the entire time Janet had been giving Laura instructions regarding Jacob, instructions that she already knew. After a few more minutes hugs and kisses Eddie and Janet Latekka finally left to celebrate their first year of marriage.

--

"We're going to Florida?" Janet said excitedly. Eddie had not told her where he was taking her for their anniversary and now they were standing at the departure gate for a flight to Orlando, Florida.

"No. We just have a short layover in Florida." Eddie lied to her. He handed the stewardess their tickets and they boarded their plane.

"Will you please tell me where we are going?" Janet asked once their plane was in the air. She was still nervous about flying so as the plane took off she clutched Eddie's hand tightly and now that they were cruising in the air she had relaxed.

"Nope. It's a surprise."

"Please tell me?" Janet batted her eyes at her husband and traced a heart on his thigh. Eddie grinned at her and removed her hand, placing it on her own thigh.

"It's not going to work. You're just going to have to wait and see." Janet stuck out her lower lip and pouted. If the batting eyes didn't work usually the pout worked but not today. Eddie leaned over and took her lower lip between his teeth and nibbled gently.

"I'm going to take a nap." He told her when he pulled away. "Wake me when we start descending."

"You know I will." Eddie made himself comfortable in his seat and closed his eyes. "What about a hint?" She whispered in his ear.

"None." He said through closed eyes with a smile.

"Party pooper." She mumbled as she laid her head on Eddie's chest. Eddie wrapped an arm around his wife and quickly drifted off to sleep.

Eddie was so excited about this trip that he had planned. One night, about a month after they were married, they were lying in bed talking, after they had made love and Eddie had asked her if she could go anywhere in the world where would it be and with tears in her eyes she told him Disneyworld.

"_I said anywhere in the world and you pick Disneyworld, why?" Janet lifted her head up off of his chest and looked at him with tears shining in her eyes. _

"_My dad planned a trip for us to Disneyworld. I had wanted to go since I was a little girl, I think that every kid wants to go but dad waited until I was a teenager to plan the trip so I would appreciate it more. A week before we were supposed to go daddy had his heart attack and died so I never got to go." She leaned down and kissed him gently. _

That story has weighed heavily on his mind since she told him. He wanted to give her Disneyworld but the timing was never right. For the first nine months of their marriage, she was pregnant and Disneyworld would be kind of pointless for a pregnant woman and then since Jake was born they have just wanted to spend all of their time with him. Now that he was still alive on their first anniversary he thought that it was the perfect opportunity to give her the trip that her father wanted to but couldn't.

"Eddie, baby we're landing." Janet said sleepily. Eddie struggled to open his eyes. They were heavy with sleep and he's been finding it harder to wake up anymore.

"Already?" He said through a yawn. "It feels like I just feel asleep."

"So what's our next stop?"

"Nice try babe. I may be tired but I'm not stupid."

"You know that you're driving me crazy don't you?"

"I do." With a smile, Eddie kissed the tip of her nose. "And I'm loving every minute of it." Janet stuck her tongue out at him and he just laughed.

A half hour later their plane had landed and they were making their way through the airport hand in hand. "What gate are we going to? What should I be looking for?" Janet asked anxiously.

"I know where we're going. Don't you worry you're pretty little head." Janet quietly followed Eddie without anymore questions until they were standing in front of the baggage claim.

"Okay, I may not be a pro at flying but I know that if we are just switching flights we don't get our luggage so what the hell is going on?"

"All right honey, you are too smart for me. This isn't a layover. This is our destination." Eddie watched in pure delight as her eyes sparkled in excitement.

"Really? This is where we are staying? Here in Orlando?" He knew she was thinking Disneyworld but he couldn't let his plan out all at once. He still had to save some surprises.

"Just for a day. There is a Sea World here that I thought that you would enjoy sp tomorrow we are going to spend the day there and then we are going to rent a car and drive to the beach and spend the rest of the week laying out in the sun, catching some rays." He knew that spending days at the beach, lying out in the sun in a bathing suit wasn't one of her most top ten favorite things to do but she did a damn good job at hiding her disappointment.

"That sounds wonderful Eddie." She said with large smile.

"I'm glad that you think so." It took everything he had not to laugh. She was going to kick his ass when his true plan finally came out but it would be worth it.

After gathering their luggage they hailed a cab and took in all of the sights around them while they journeyed to their hotel. Lady luck was on Eddie's side because as soon as they entered the hotel Janet disappeared to pee so she wasn't around when the hotel clerk confirmed that they would be staying for a week. It would have ruined everything if she would have heard that.

"Oh Eddie this room is amazing." Janet exclaimed as she walked around their large spacious room. There was a large king sized bed, two end tables, a table, dresser, a large plasma T.V., The bathroom was as big, if not bigger then their master bedroom at home. The bathtub could easily fit 3-4 adults in it and there was also a Jacuzzi in the bathroom as well. "Check out the view." Janet had made her way out onto the balcony and she was taking in the breathtaking view of Florida from the ninth floor. Eddie came our behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"It's beautiful." He said, staring at her.

"Happy Anniversary Eddie." She said turning into his embrace.

"Happy Anniversary darling." Eddie closed the distance between them and kissed her softly. "Happy, happy anniversary." He whispered when they broke apart. "Come on, I know you want to call mom and check on Jake."

"You know me so well."

--

"Don't hesitate to call if there are any problems. We can be on a plane home in no time. Okay I will. I love you too. Kiss Jake for me and Eddie. Bye Laura."

"Jake good?" Eddie asked.

"Jake's good." Janet confirmed.

"Told you." Janet rolled her eyes. "Can you grab me my Vicodin from my medicine bag in the bathroom? I'm due for my next dose." Phase two of his plan was in effect. He had placed the passes to Disneyworld in his medicine bag.

"Really?" Eddie was stretched out on the bed watching a game on the plasma. "You can't get off you're ass and get it yourself?"

"I'm really comfy and the game is really neck and neck right now."

"Eddie."

"Come on baby. You're already up and you don't want me to miss my medicine and get a headache do you?"

"Bastard." She mumbled walking into the bathroom. Chuckling to himself Eddie sat up and waited on the edge of the bed. Two minutes later he heard a squeal coming from the bathroom. "Oh my God. Are these really what I think they are?" Eddie opened his mouth to respond but Janet was so excited that she kept on talking. "And these are four day passes so the trip to beach and Sea World was just bullshit. Do you think four days is enough time for us to see everything? Are you going to be able to handle four days of walking around the biggest amusement park in the world? I have to ride the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Why aren't you saying anything?"

"I was waiting for you to finish. Are you done?" She nodded happily. "The whole beach thing was bullshit but I do have a trip for to Sea World planned. Four days will be plenty of time for us to do everything that you want to do and more. I will be fine. I figure that we are close enough to the park that we can leave for a few hours during the day so I can nap. Did you notice the front of the line passes in the envelope?" Janet looked in the envelope again and found the passes.

"Eddie this all must of cost a fortune."

"The passes were free. You're mom contacted one of those foundations that grant wishes to terminally ill patients and she pulled a few strings and got us the passes and the tickets. She paid for our hotel and mom and dad paid for our flight, it was their gift to us." Tears filled Janet's eyes.

"I…we…it's…can…why…I…?" Eddie reached out and took her hand.

"I know baby." He squeezed her hand. "So is this better then a week at the beach?" That question brought a smile back to Janet's face. She tossed the envelope on the end table and threw herself into Eddie's arms, knocking him back onto the bed, kissing every inch of his face.

"So." Kiss. "Much." Kiss. "Better." Kiss. "Best." Kiss. "Husband." Kiss. "Ever." This kiss was long, slow and sweet. Eddie flipped her over on her back and kissed her with more force while his hand ripped opened her shirt. Since she and Eddie had gotten married he has ruined quite a few of her shirts by ripping them off of her. "What…about…your…game…?" This time Janet flipped him on his back and she ran her fingers under his shirt causing him to groan.

"Hell baby, I don't even know who is playing. You're the only thing I want to watch right now." Eddie reached up, placed his hand on the back of her neck, brought her face down to his and kissed her sweetly while rolling her over onto her back. They continued to roll over on the bed, both fighting for dominance while their clothes slowly fell to the floor.

"What do you want Eddie? Tell me, I'll do whatever you want, missionary, me on top facing you, me on top facing away from you, doggy style, up against the wall, in the tub, whatever you want." Janet said breathlessly when she finally managed to tear her mouth away from Eddie's.

"You don't have to honey."

"I want to. You gave me this wonderful trip so I want to give something to you." She nibbled his ear lobe and she felt his body stiffen over hers. "So tell me what you want baby."

"I want a ride Janet. I love it when you ride me hard and fast."

"Then hang on baby cause I'm going to give you the ride of your life." Eddie quickly climbed off of Janet and he sat up against the headboard. "Hold on baby."

"I plan too." Janet straddled herself over Eddie's hips, spreading her legs apart as far as they would go and she sank down as far as she could on Eddie's erection.

"Son of a bitch Janet." Eddie shrieked.

"Oh I'm just getting started." Eddie placed his hands on Janet's ass; he loved the feel of her full, smooth ass in his hands, her breast in his mouth while Janet placed her hands on Eddie's shoulders for better leverage and then she worked it. Eddie had a hard time keeping his mouth on her breasts because she was moving so fast on top of him but it was just what he wanted from her, fast and hard. She was slamming herself on him so hard that he was afraid that she may have bruises on her upper inner thighs but she didn't seem to be in any pain. In fact she looked like she was really enjoying herself. Her eyes were closed and she threw her head back every time she moaned. When they both finally climaxed their moans and groans of pleasure filled the room.

"I can't move." Janet gasped as she collapsed against Eddie breathing heavily.

"I don't want you to move." Eddie lifted Janet's head up and kissed her passionately. "That was amazing baby. Thank you."

"It was what you wanted?" He nodded.

"And so much more. Since I've met you Janet, you've given me so much more than I have deserved."

"I've only given back what I have received." Janet finally realized that she had to pull out of Eddie because her legs were becoming really stiff and if she didn't move now she might not be able to move in a few more minutes. "I've got to lay down." She said reluctantly. She loved being this close to her husband.

"Okay honey." Eddie helped her off of him and then he scooted down and cradled her in his arms. "Look Janet, I know that this trip was something that you had planned with your dad so if by planning this I stepped on any toes I'll understand." Janet was silent. She just drew lazy circles on his chest. "Oh hell Janet I'm sorry. I really…"

"Don't be sorry Eddie. When I was sixteen the most important man in my life was my daddy and that's who I was going to Disneyworld with. Now you are the most important man in my life so it's very appropriate that you and I are now taking the trip that my dad had wanted to take with me. I think that my dad would be very happy that it was you that is taking me now."

"Do you really think so?" Eddie asked softly.

"I really do."

"I wish I could have known him. He sounds like a great man."

"He was. You would have liked him and I know that he would have really liked you."

"So it sounds like when I meet him in the great beyond I'm not going to get my ass kicked." He said with a laugh but Janet didn't respond. "Sorry babe, I know how you feel about my death jokes."

"You know what I wish?"

"What do wish darling?"

"I wish that I'm pregnant. I really hope that during this trip, maybe tonight I can get pregnant."

"Janet…" Eddie said softly. He had no idea where this had come from.

"A little girl would be nice this time. Don't you think?"

"Janet…"

"Jacob would make such a good big brother. He is…"

"Janet listen to me." She got quiet and looked at Eddie with a sad faraway look in her eyes. "Sweetheart, you know that the chemo medication made me sterile." He told her softly. "I'm shooting blanks."

"I know." Janet pulled herself out of his arms. "I said that it was a wish. Didn't you say that we had dinner reservations?" She climbed out of bed. "I'm going to get a bath to clean off all of this sweat." She leaned over, kissed his cheek and disappeared into the bathroom.

When he heard the water turn off Eddie finally climbed out of bed and walked into the bathroom. He stood in there for a few minutes, just watching her wet her body down with the washcloth. "Are you just going to stand there and watch me or are you going to come and help me with those hard to reach places?" Janet asked, never looking at him.

"Well since you asked I guess I could lend a hand or two." In three giant steps Eddie was stepping into the tub behind Janet. He reached around her and took the washcloth out of her hand, soaped it up and began to gently wash her back. "Can I ask you something?" He asked her.

"Anything."

"Why do you want another baby? It's going to be hard enough to raise just Jacob alone, why add another baby?"

"I wished for one. Wishing and wanting are two different things."

"Okay. Why did you wish for another baby?"

"It doesn't matter." She mumbled.

"It does to me."

"I guess that I want as much of you with me in the world as I can have once you're gone." He felt her sigh under his hands. "I know that it makes no logical sense but…"

"I know honey, I know." He leaned forward and kissed her neck.

After their bath they put on the only nice clothes they brought and headed down to the hotel restaurant for dinner. The hostess handed each of them a menu and Janet watched as Eddie's left hand shook like crazy as he tried to hold the menu up and read it. Seeing the frustration and humiliation in his eyes Janet reached over, took the menu out of his hands and laid it in front of him. "Just flip the pages."

"I hate this." He mumbled. "I can't even hold a god damned menu." Janet reached across the table and took his left hand in her right hand.

"It'll be okay baby."

"No it won't. This is just the beginning Janet. Things are just going to get worse." He looked at the table.

"Eddie look at me." He slowly raised his eyes to hers. "I don't want to think about what is going to happen down the road. You planned this amazing trip for our anniversary, something that we never thought we would see so I just want to concentrate on enjoying every moment that we have together this week. When we get home then we'll worry okay?" Eddie lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the soft skin.

"I can do that." He promised.

--

For the next four days Eddie and Janet enjoyed every moment they had together at Disneyworld. The rode every ride possible, some of them two and three times, they saw most every show, most of them Eddie found boring but Janet loved them so he tolerated them for her sake, usually by dozing off. They scheduled one day just for water rides because they didn't want to walk around everyday soaking wet. On the their last day, instead of getting up, spending the morning at the park, going back to their hotel for an afternoon nap and then returning to the park for a few more hours they opted to sleep in and go to the park in the late afternoon because Janet wanted to stay late and see the parade and the fireworks show so they didn't ride any rides, they just took it an easy. They went on a ride through a Safari, something they both loved, saw the rest of the shows that they hadn't seen and ended their day ohhing and ahhing over the fireworks.

--

"Do you think that there are this many stars at home in The Ridge?" Janet asked. It was their last night in Florida and they were cuddled up together, naked, under a blanket on reclining deck chair on their balcony. They spent their last day at Sea World and their last night making love in their hotel room.

"I'm sure that there are." Eddie answered with a smile.

"I don't think that there are. I have never seen this many."

"Okay baby. Whatever you say." Janet twisted her body slightly and kissed Eddie gently on the lips. When they broke apart Janet turned back to the sky and Eddie tightened his arms around her naked belly.

"Thank you so very much for this amazing trip Eddie. I'll never forget it."

"Hell Janet you shouldn't. You took enough pictures." She giggled. They filled up their memory card on their digital camera and half of the new card they bought.

"Katie and I are going to have so much fun making the scrapbook."

"Will you promise me something darling?"

"Anything." She murmured.

"One day when Jacob is old enough to appreciate it bring him here, to Disneyworld and show him everything that we did together, tell him the stories. I know that you'll show him the scrapbook but pictures won't be as good as the real thing. I want him be in the same place where we had so much fun, ride the same rides, pose in front of the statues that we did for pictures. Maybe it will help him feel closer to me. Can you do that for me Janet?"

"Absolutely Eddie. I promise."

"Thank you sweetheart." Eddie said with a yawn.

"Are you ready to go in and go to bed?"

"No. I want to sleep out here tonight."

"It might get too cold."

"Nah. The weather is perfect and we brought an extra blanket out here before we decided to share so we're set if we get cold but I don't think we will. So what do you say honey? Will you sleep out here with me tonight, under the stars?"

"I would love too."

"Sit up for a second babe." Janet reluctantly sat up, out of Eddie's arms and he reclined the chair all the way back. "Come on now." It took them a few minutes to arrange themselves so they both were comfortable but once that was accomplished they made the most of their positions by sharing soft kisses, in the dark, under the stars until their bodies grew too tired to continue.

--

"How is your head?" They were sitting in Dr. Turners office waiting for him to come in with his latest M.R.I. results that he had a few hours ago.

"It's freaking killing me. Not even the headphones are working anymore." Janet handed Eddie his Percocet and the bottle of water she was drinking. He swallowed the pills gratefully hoping that they worked because he really wanted to go home, without a headache and see his son, who he missed terribly. Their plane landed in Boston yesterday and they got a hotel room because of Eddie's appointment first thing the next morning. It made no sense to drive home and then back so they spent the day yesterday in a hotel room napping and watching T.V., recouping from their vacation.

"We'll talk to Dr. Turner about sedating you for your next M.R.I."

"Can you kill the light?" Eddie asked lying back on the table.

"Sure thing." Just as Janet stood Dr. Turner walked in the room.

"Wow look how tan you two are." He exclaimed as Eddie slowly sat up.

"We just came back from Disneyworld. It was our first anniversary." Janet explained.

"Wow. I can't believe that it's been a year since you two got married. It's amazing. Time goes so fast." Dr. Turner said with a sad smile that Eddie and Janet both picked up on.

"You have no idea." Janet mumbled softly, reaching over for Eddie's hand. She had a feeling that she was going to need it.

"So what's the word doc? I can tell by that look on your face that the news ain't good."

"I'm sorry Eddie." Janet felt tears sting her eyes but she didn't allow them to fall. Instead she squeezed his hand.

"How bad is it?" Eddie asked as Dr. Turner put his scans up on the lighted board.

"See this little dot here?" Eddie nodded and Janet had to squint to see it but she did see it. "That's the newest tumor. It's not quite a millimeter and these two old tumors; they have grown deeper into the brain tissue."

"So the medication has quit working?" Janet inquired.

"No it's still working, just not at its full potency."

"Well why not?"

"Baby…" Eddie whispered.

"After being on this medication for so long the body develops a resistance to it and that's what has happened to Eddie."

"So what can we do about it?" Janet asked even though she already knew the answer. "Can we increase the dose? Can we change it?"

"This is it honey. There is nothing else to do." Eddie answered for the doctor.

"He's right Janet. We've done everything medically we can for him. I'm very sorry."

"So what now? Do I stop the medicine?"

"No. Keep taking it. It's still working, just not as well as it was."

"What happens of I stop taking it, well besides the obvious?"

"You're symptoms will worsen rather quickly and you'll die within a month, two at the most."

"And if I keep taking the medicine that is slowly not working what happens?"

"Over time you're symptoms will slowly increase."

"How much more time do I have with the medicine?" He asked.

"Probably six months." Dr. Turner answered sadly. In his profession unfortunately he was always giving patients a death sentence and he hated this part of his job and today he hated it more than normal. Over the past year and a half that this young man has been his patient he has grown very fond of him and his wife. He had everything going for him, a woman that loved him who he wouldn't grow old with, a baby boy that he wouldn't see grow up all because of a disease that still could not be cured. Dr. Turner had spent his entire career fighting this disease and most days he felt like he was doing some good but today, telling this young man and his wife that he was going to be dead in six months made him question his career choice. "I wish that there was more that I could do."

"You've done so much already. You've given us more time then we ever expected." Janet told the doctor.

For the next twenty minutes Dr. Turner conducted Eddie's exam while Janet sat in the chair, taking notes and asking questions. Dr. Turner noticed that Eddie's left arm was weaker then his right and he had lost some of his peripheral vision on his left side as well. By the end of the visit Eddie was given a pain shot for his headache and Dr. Turner wrote for an order of sedation for his next M.R.I. so hopefully he wouldn't get another headache.

"I really want to thank you doc, for everything you have done for me." Eddie said. Janet had left the room to use the bathroom before they left so Eddie and Dr. Turner were alone.

"I didn't do much Eddie."

"You did. You gave me this medication that gave me a year with Janet and allowed me to see my son born, something I didn't think I would be able to see. My words can't express to you how grateful I truly am to you." Eddie surprised his doctor by pulling him in for a hug. "Thank you, for giving me more time then I hoped for after my diagnosis. I'll treasure it always."

"It wasn't just the medicine that helped Eddie. It was your strong desire to live that has kept you alive as long as you have been. It's amazing what love can do for a man."

"You have no idea." The door opened and Janet walked back in. Eddie turned around and smiled broadly at his wife.

"Bye you two. I'll see you in a month unless you need me before then."

"We'll see you in a month doc." As soon as the door to the room shut Eddie wrapped one arm around Janet's neck, one around her upper back, pulled her to his chest and kissed her.

"Wow. What was that for?" Janet asked breathlessly when they finally broke apart.

"Do I have to have a reason to kiss you?" She shook her head. "I just wanted to kiss you because I love you so much."

"I love you too."


	18. Chapter 18

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Janet can you help me out here? Eddie asked walking into Jacob's bedroom where Janet was getting Jacob ready for Katie and Ikey's wedding.

"Give me one minute." Janet finished up with Jacob, picked him up and then turned around. "Look how handsome your son looks in his suit."

"Oh my God. He does look cute."

"He looks just like his dad." Janet laid Jacob in his crib and turned his attention to her husband who needed his tie tied. "Are you ever going to learn how to tie your own tie?"

"Why would I when I have you to do it for me?" He said with a grin. "How did you manage to tie Jacob's tie?"

"I didn't. It's a clip on."

"Why can't I get a clip on?"

"Because you're a big boy." Janet finished with his tie. "You look very handsome."

"And you look beautiful…in your robe." He said with a grin.

"That's thoughtful. Jacob's bottle is on the dresser. Why don't you feed him so I can get dressed and then you can compliment me again?"

"Deal." Eddie sat in the rocking chair and Janet placed Jacob in father's arms. Janet kissed both of her boys and disappeared into their room to get dressed.

Jacob was now six months old and it has been three months since their anniversary trip. Jacob was growing and changing everyday. He was rolling over, smiling, laughing and sitting up. Eddie was slowly going downhill. His left side was getting weaker by the day. He loved holding Jacob but he wouldn't or couldn't walk around with him so Janet always brought the baby to him. Neither of them was no longer working. They wanted to spend as much time together with their son as possible.

"Wow. You look amazing." Eddie told his wife when she walked back into Jacob's nursery.

"You're sister picked out the dress. I'm just wearing it."

"Regardless. You still look beautiful."

"Thank you but I had to look my best when the two best looking boys in The Ridge are my date." She leaned down and kissed her husband gently. "We better go. We don't want to be late for Katie's wedding."

"All right." Janet took Jacob from Eddie and the handsome couple and their son headed to the church.

--

"Oh my God. Look how cute my nephew and ring bearer is." Kate gushed when Janet and Jacob walked into the bride room of the church. Jacob was obviously too little to walk down the aisle and carry the rings but Kate really wanted Jacob in her wedding so he was going to be in a stroller pushed down the aisle by the flower girl. "I didn't know that they made suits that little. He is just adorable."

"I would have to agree." Janet said.

"How is Eddie?" Kate asked.

"Oh you know your brother. Bitching and moaning because he has to wear a suit, bitching and moaning that he has to give a toast, bitching and moaning that Ikey will be his brother. He is good." Janet said with a grin.

"How is he feeling? Will he make it through the ceremony?"

"His head hurts but it always hurts. He took more medications then normal so I think that he will be fine."

"I hope so." Janet could see the worry in her sister in law's eyes.

"Kate he is truly happy for you. I hope you know that but you know Eddie, he likes to give everyone, especially Ikey a hard time but he sees how much you and Ikey love each other and how happy you both are and that's what matters to him."

"Thanks Janet."

"Okay it's time to get started." Laura announced and everyone lined up.

Ikey couldn't decide which one of his four best friends would be his best man so he made all of them his best men. Since Kate's best friend was her maid of honor Ikey had Phil stand next to him. Next to Allison was Janet and Kate made sure that she and Eddie were paired together. Nick and Owen were paired with two other friends of Kate's that were also in the wedding.

The wedding started with Eddie walking his mother down the aisle then he returned to the back of the church to stand next to his wife. When it was their turn to walk down the aisle they both turned to look at their son who was snoozing in his stroller, they linked arms and Eddie escorted Janet down the aisle. When they reached the end, as they unlinked arms Eddie couldn't help himself, he leaned down and kissed Janet softly and then they went their separate ways at the altar. When the flower girl came down the aisle pushing the stroller with a sleeping Jacob inside the church was filled with "aww's" and Janet and Eddie smiled proudly.

The ceremony went by without a hitch. Jack and Laura cried throughout the service and when Janet glanced at her husband she saw that his eyes were red, a sure sign that he had been crying. The entire church erupted in applause when the bride and groom kissed. During the time that the receiving line was taking place Jacob decided that he was hungry so he and his parents snuck off into the groom's room so Janet could feed Mr. Crabmonster, as Janet loved to call him and Eddie could catch a quick nap before it was time for the pictures to be taken. By the time Jacob was done eating Eddie was snoring softly on a chair and Janet and Jacob were able to join the festivities again just as the bubbles were getting blown at the bride and groom. Jacob loved them. He just laughed as he tried to catch them.

"Where is Eddie?" Jack asked Janet as Katie and Ikey pulled away for a quick drive around town and they headed back into the church.

"Napping in the groom's room. He can't make it through the day anymore without a couple of naps so we figured that this would be a good time for him to catch a short one."

"Honey I don't want you to be afraid to ask Laura or I for help if things get too hard for you. That's what family is for."

"Thanks and I will but things are okay now but I don't know for how much longer it will stay that way. He changes everyday. He can't even carry Jake anymore. He is shaking so bad and his left side is weaker than his right and when we were walking down the aisle I noticed that he was dragging his left foot slightly behind him as he walked."

"I didn't notice that." Laura said joining their conversation.

"It was very slight. He probably didn't even notice it." Janet adjusted her squirming son in her arms.

"Why is the cancer just primarily affecting the left side of his body?" Nick mused. Janet didn't even realize that she had an audience.

"Because the biggest tumors are on the right side of his brain and the right side of the brain affects the left side of the body and vice versa. Eventually when the tumors on the left side get bigger then the right side of his body will be affected."

"How is he dealing with the changes?" Phil asked. They really hadn't had time to talk with Janet without Eddie around.

"As well as can be expected. He tries to put on a happy face when I'm around but I know that it's really hard on him. He's not his normal, outgoing, energetic self. He sleeps a lot more but he does make it a point to get up out of bed and come down and interact with Jacob and I but he's more quiet and withdrawn then I have ever seen him." Janet said softly.

"Is there anything that we can do?" Owen asked.

"Just continue to be his friend. He needs you guys to help keep things as normal as possible for him. He wants you guys to come over and hang out, he wants guys night out at Sully's. He wants to feel as normal as possible for as long as possible."

"We can do that." Nick said and all of the guys nodded in agreement.

--

"I hate giving speeches." Eddie said nervously into the microphone and the crowd laughed. "But since my baby sister is the bride and one of my best friends is the groom I guess that I really don't have a choice. Ikey I've known you for years and for most of those years you have been our resident goofball. You were always the one we could count on to make a serious situation laughable. You really never took anything seriously until my sister came along. For the first time in your life you really took something seriously. You took your feelings for Kate seriously. I've seen another, great side of you my friend and I am so glad that I finally got to see it. I know that you already know this but I'm going to remind you anyways. Kate is an amazing woman and you are damn lucky to have her. Spend everyday that you have together loving her because you never know when it can be taken away and you don't want to leave this earth with any regrets. Welcome to the family Ike." Applause filled the room and most everyone had tears streaming down their faces.

"My little Katie bug. Even though I have spent most of my life giving you hell, torturing you, teasing you, scaring away all of your stupid little boyfriends you know I did that all because I love you. I remember when mom and dad brought you home from the hospital and told me that I had a sister, I got so mad because I wanted a brother but now I wouldn't trade you in for anything. You had a lot to contend with being the kid sister of Eddie Latekka and I surprised that you actually had dates during high school not because of anything bad but because of all of the guys that I threatened. I may have been mean to you but I wasn't going to allow anyone to hurt my baby sister. Kate I love you and I am so happy that you have found your true love, even if it is Ikey." Everyone laughed. "I wish you all of the happiness that the world can give you. I wish that you and Ikey are as happy as I have been with Janet. Co…" Janet watched as Eddie struggled to come up with the word. "Co…Con…" He closed his eyes in frustration, took a deep breath and tried again. "Way to go. I love you both." The room filled with applause again and more tears, especially from Janet.

"That was beautiful Eddie." Janet whispered when Eddie took his seat.

"I want to go home." He whispered back. He was frustrated and embarrassed. He just wanted to get the hell away from everyone.

"They are just getting ready to start the dancing and Kate has really been looking forward to dancing with you."

"I don't want to dance." He mumbled.

"It's your sister's wedding and she wants to dance with you more than anything."

"Did you see what happened to me up there?" Janet reached for his hand.

"Everyone forgets a word that they want to say."

"I didn't forget the damn word Janet. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I just couldn't get my mouth to say it."

"Eddie…"

"It's the cancer."

"I know but are you going to let the cancer keep you from dancing with your sister at her wedding?" He looked at the table and then back at her.

"No I'm not."

"We'll leave as soon as you dance with Kate. I don't think that Jacob will last much longer anyways."

After watching Katie dance with her husband and then with Jack they called all of the best men and bridesmaids up on the dance floor. Not wanting to disappoint his sister, Eddie followed Janet to the dance floor, wrapped his arms around her waist, Janet laid her head on his chest and they slowly swayed to the music. Eddie loved the feeling of his wife in his arms and Janet always felt safe and loved in his arms. After the song ended Janet left the dance floor to get Jacob ready to leave and Eddie began to dance with his sister.

"Janet and I are heading out after this dance. Jake isn't going to make it much longer." He explained to his sister. Kate glanced over at Janet and saw that Jacob was fussing.

"He has hung in there really well today. You should be proud."

"I am. You look beautiful by the way bug. I don't I told you that yet today."

"Thank you. You look pretty damn good yourself."

"Are you happy Kate?"

"Very. Thank you for your wonderful toast. It meant the world to me and Ikey."

"I just said what I felt."

"I gotta know something."

"What?"

"Did you really threaten guys in regards to me?"

"I sure the hell did."

"Why?"

"Cause I was a stupid teenage boy and I know how stupid teenage boys think and you were or are too special and I didn't want your heart to get broken by a stupid teenage boy."

"What did you threaten them with?"

"Bodily harm." Kate laughed. "First of all I made it clear to my boys that you were off limits, that if they put one single move on you I would beat them within an inch of their lives."

"Why? They are your best friends and you have great taste in friends."

"In high school they were just a bunch of horny dumbasses, same as I was and I wasn't letting them near you. That's why Ikey didn't kiss you the first night you guys were together. He wanted my permission before he kissed you. As for the rest of the boneheads that wanted to date you The Ridge is a small town and when I heard that someone wanted to ask you out I always had a friendly conversation with them."

"Friendly my ass." Katie muttered with a grin. "Do you approve of Ikey and me?"

"If I didn't you wouldn't be standing here in this wedding dress kiddo."

"I'm not a kid."

"Don't I know it?" The song ended and Katie stood on her tip toes and hugged her big brother.

"I love you so much Eddie. I am so glad that you were here." She mumbled into his neck. She was trying to hide her tears but he knew that she was crying. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed the top of her head.

"I wouldn't have missed this for the world. I love you to Katherine."

Once they arrived home Eddie and Janet divided parental duties since Jacob was exhausted, very cranky and he needed to get to bed fast. Janet changed the baby into his pajamas while Eddie made the bottle. "I know baby, I know you have had a long day and you are tired. Daddy is getting your bottle and then you can go to sleep because I know that's what you want." Janet whispered to her crying son. She put a binky in his mouth, hoping that would calm him down but it was pointless. He just spit it out and cried harder. Jacob was a good baby except when he was hungry or tired and then he was a hellion. "Just hang in there my little prince. Mommy is almost done." He was squirming around so much that she was finding it more difficult than normal to get him ready for bed.

"Someone is not happy." Eddie said walking in the room just as Janet finished snapping up Jacob's pajamas.

"You can say that again. He is acting like he hasn't ate in a month." Janet lifted her crying boy up from his changing table. "Are you ready?" Eddie sat in the rocking chair and Janet carried Jacob over to his daddy. As soon as the bottle was placed in his lips Jacob's cries stopped.

"He is just like his old man." Eddie said with a grin. "He loves nipples in his mouth."

"Oh my God. No you didn't just say that." Janet said giggling as a blush crept on her cheeks. "He is just a baby you perv." Eddie just smiled at her.

"Okay little man, how about a story?" Since Eddie's arm has begun to shake he hasn't been able to properly read Jacob a story from a book so he has resorted to making up stories about pirates, princes, mermaids, lions, and anything else he could think of to entertain his son. Janet had set up the video camera on the dresser and had begun to tape these stories so one day when Jacob was older he could listen to these amazing stories again. Janet walked over and hit record on the camera.

As Janet listened to tonight's story about a troll who trekked through the wilderness fighting dragons and anything else that crossed his path to save his one true love, tears filled her eyes. All of his stories had a general theme, one character that saved their true love from some unspeakable horror and lived happily ever after. Unlike Eddie's stories their life was not make believe and she could not save her one true love from death and they would not have their own happily ever after.

"Janet." He looked at her and saw that she was staring at the wall with tears in her eyes. "Janet, honey." She blinked and focused on him. "Jacob is sleeping."

"Oh yeah." Eddie leaned down and kissed his baby's head and then Janet took the sleeping child and placed him in his crib. After covering him up, Janet turned on the monitor, turned on the night light and she and Eddie snuck out of the room.

"I think that I am ready for bed. Care to join me?" Eddie asked Janet.

"Yeah. It's been a long day. I'm going to go down and lock up. I'll be up in a minute." Eddie nodded and headed to their room and Janet made her way downstairs.

By the time Janet retuned upstairs ten minutes later she found Eddie sound asleep in bed. After changing her clothes she crawled in bed next to Eddie. She reached out and laid her hand over his heart so she could feel it beating. Eddie must have felt the movement because Janet suddenly felt Eddie's hand on top of hers. "Checking to make sure that it's still beating?" He quipped.

"That's not funny." Janet muttered.

"Sorry." Eddie removed his hand and wrapped his arm around Janet. "I tried to stay awake honey but it's been such a long day and I couldn't keep my eyes open."

"I understand."

"I had a nice day today." He commented.

"The wedding was beautiful."

"I can't believe that my baby sister is married to Ikey of all people."

"Aww come on. Ikey stepped up and he is good for Kate. They both really love each other."

"Yeah he is. I think that they are going to be happy."

"I agree." Eddie let out a big yawn. "Go to sleep baby. You're exhausted."

"What about my kiss?" Smiling Janet lifted her head and they shared a soft, passionate kiss. "I love you Janet, so much." Eddie whispered breathlessly when they broke apart.

"I know. I love you too." Janet settled her head onto Eddie's chest. "Sleep well."

Within five minutes Eddie was snoring softly beside her and Janet was wishing that she could sleep as well. She has known for over a year that Eddie is dying but over the past month his symptoms have gotten worse and his death is more obvious to her now than it ever was before and it was scaring the hell out of her. She didn't know if she was going to be able to stay strong for Eddie or for Jacob. Seeing him giving his toast and not be able to say congratulations broke her heart and Janet knew that it was only going to get worse.

Two weeks ago they discovered that they could no longer make love. Eddie had taken his pill but no matter what he did or Janet did he could not get an erection. They both tried that night for over an hour doing everything that they could thing of to get it up but it never happened. After it was determined that making love was no longer an option in their relationship they held each other and sobbed for the loss of one of the most magical aspects of their relationship but at least they had the memory of their last time together.

It was the night of Eddie's birthday. His parent's had thrown him a party that had gone pretty late. Jacob had ended up falling asleep and Laura offered to keep him for the night. Janet agreed because she didn't want to wake the baby up just to take him home and put him right back to bed. By the time they got home Eddie' "sex pill" as he called it was most definitely working. Since they were alone they took their time undressing each other and making love, concentrating on touching and kissing each other. Prior to their last time, Janet had been on top a lot but this time Eddie was on top with most of his weight on Janet and he moved very slowly inside of Janet savoring every second that they were one being. When it was all said and done their orgasms were the most powerful that they had ever experienced. In fact, it was the most amazing, most wonderful sex that they had ever had and thinking back on it now Janet wonders if maybe they both knew, subconsciously that would be their last time that they would ever make love and that's why it was so wonderful.

--

"Eddie you shouldn't encourage him." Janet said laughing. Eddie, Janet and Jacob were in the kitchen and Eddie was feeding Jacob his lunch. Every time that Eddie put a spoonful of baby food in Jacob's mouth Jacob would laugh and spit most of it out. Eddie would then laugh which would just encourage Jacob to continue to spit his food. Jacob and his highchair were covered in orange carrots but father and son were having a blast.

"I can't help it. It's so damn funny."

"Well I hope you're still laughing when you're cleaning up your son and his highchair." Janet kissed the top of Jacob's head and then turned towards the sink. Suddenly she heard the baby food jar crash to the floor. "Eddie?" She turned around and gasped in horror when she saw him shaking uncontrollably in the kitchen chair. He was having a seizure. Dropping the dishrag on the floor she rushed over to him but before she could reach him she watched as his body jerked forward, his head hit the corner of the table and he crashed to the floor. "EDDIE." She screamed.

Dr. Turner had told her that when Eddie had a seizure that she shouldn't restrain him that she should just let him seize and make sure that he was cushioned so he wouldn't hurt himself and so far she has already failed. Janet dropped to the floor and watched helplessly as Eddie's body jerked and shook.

"Janet are you…Oh my God." Laura, who was over visiting, gasped when she saw her son on the floor.

"He's having a seizure." Janet cried. "Bring me the pillows from the living room." Laura returned a few seconds later with some pillows that they threw on the floor surrounding Eddie.

After what seemed like an eternity but was only a couple of minutes Eddie finally stopped convulsing. "He's bleeding. Will you grab me a dish towel?" Janet asked Laura. A second later Laura tossed the towel to Janet and she pressed it to Eddie's wound. Janet heard Jacob screaming from his highchair but she couldn't leave Eddie. Laura saw Janet's internal struggle and she took care of Jacob. "The gash looks deep. I think that he's going to need stitches." Janet mumbled tearfully.

"Janet." Eddie groaned when he opened his eyes a minute later. "What happened?"

"It's okay. You're okay."

"Why are you crying?" He reached up and touched his head where Janet was pressing the towel. "Owww. What happened to my head?"

"You fell off your chair."

"How? Why?"

"You had a seizure baby." Janet's tears fell from her eyes.

"Was it bad?" He was so tired.

"You're going to need stitches in your head."

"I don't want to go to the hospital."

"I know but you need the stitches." Eddie pulled himself up.

"Eddie…"

"I'm fine. Really I am." He stood and Janet was right behind him and it was a good thing because as soon as he was on two feet he realized too late that he was exhausted. He couldn't stand on his own. He started to fall back but Janet was there to help him stand.

"Come on; let's get you to the couch to rest." He nodded and allowed Janet to help him to the couch.

"Jake, did I hurt Jake?" He asked fearfully.

"No sweetheart. Jake is fine. He was in his highchair. Your mom is cleaning up the mess he made from lunch." Janet pressed the towel to his head.

"Oww. God Dammit." He snapped.

"I'm sorry but I have to stop the bleeding."

"I'm so tired." Dr. Turner had also told her that he would be exhausted after his seizures.

"I know. Just lay your head in my lap and just rest."

"I'm scared Janet. I'm losing control."

"I know you're scared honey. Try and sleep." Eddie settled on Janet's lap, closed his eyes but he didn't sleep. Instead he just laid there with tears streaming down his cheeks while clutching Janet's free hand.

Five minutes later Eddie's body began to shake again. It wasn't as severe as before but it was a seizure nonetheless. When this seizure was done Janet noticed that Eddie's lip was bleeding. On closer inspection she saw that he bit his lip during the seizure. Now Janet was beginning to freak out. She didn't think that his seizures should occur this close together. "Sweetheart are you okay?" She asked him and he just groaned in response.

"How is he?" Laura asked walking into the living room carrying Jacob.

"He just had another seizure. Can you bring me the phone? I need to call Dr. Turner."

"I'm not going to the damned hospital." Eddie mumbled.

"You're going to get stitches at least." Janet told him and Eddie sat up and glared at his wife.

"Put a damned band aide on my head. I'm not going to the hospital."

"Eddie…"

"It's final. I'm not going." They sat on the couch, glaring at each other until Janet finally relented.

"Fine. I won't take you to the hospital for stitches."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good." Laura brought the phone to Janet. "You don't have to call the doctor."

"Yes I do. He told me to call him with any changes in your condition."

"Whatever." Janet knew he was scared and snapping at her was his way of dealing with his fear. By the time Janet put the request in to have Dr. Turner to call her back Eddie was sound asleep. After laying his head on the couch Janet went to the kitchen where Laura was with Jake. Janet immediately took her son in her arms and held him tightly.

"He is refusing to go to the hospital." Janet told her mother in law.

"Why?"

"Because he is a stubborn ass." Suddenly Janet handed Jacob back to Laura. "Hold him." From her spot in the kitchen she still was able to see into the living room and she saw that Eddie was seizing again. By the time this seizure was over Eddie had fallen off of the couch and onto the floor. Janet grabbed the phone and called Dr. Turner again, this time holding until he came on the line.

"Janet what's going on?"

"Eddie started having seizures today."

"You knew that this was going to happen."

"I know but he has had three in the twenty or thirty minutes."

"You need to call the paramedics and get him to the hospital."

"He doesn't want to go to the hospital."

"Janet he needs a shot or his seizures won't stop. Do you want them to continue?"

"No." She sobbed.

"Then call the paramedics. I'll give the hospital a call and let them know what I want them to do and Eddie will be released in a couple of hours."

"Thanks." Janet slowly disconnected the call and then called the paramedics.

"You're doing the right thing Janet." Laura said from the doorway after Janet hung up with the 911 operator.

"He's going to be so mad."

"He'll get over it."

"Can you stay with Jake? The E.R. isn't the best place for him."

"Of course I will."

While waiting for the paramedics to arrive Janet threw on her shoes, put her purse by the door so she could grab it on her way out and kissed her baby boy goodbye. By the time the paramedics were walking through the front door Eddie was in the middle of yet, another seizure. Janet gave as much information about Eddie's condition as she could as they were loading his shaking body up onto the gurney.

"Are you riding with us ma'am?"

"No. I'm going to follow you so I can bring him home."

"When you get to the emergency room just let them know that your husband was brought in by us."

"Thank you. I will."

--

"Mrs. Latekka as soon as your husband wakes up and we evaluate him you guys will be all set to go home." Dr. Moore explained to Janet.

When Eddie got to the hospital they gave him an injection of Ativan, which finally stopped his seizures. They upped his current seizure medication and added a new medication and he had been seizure free for two hours and since he was sedated Janet requested that they stitch up the gash on his head

"Thank you for everything Dr. Moore." He nodded and stepped out of the cubicle and a nurse stepped in to check Eddie's vital signs. "I need to step outside and make a phone call. If he wakes up will you let him know?"

"Of course Mrs. Latekka." Janet kissed Eddie's sleeping form then went outside to use her cell phone.

"Mom."

"Janet, is everything okay?" The tears that Janet had been hold back fell hard and fast.

"He's…dying…mom…" Janet blubbered into the phone.

"Honey…"

"He started having seizures today."

"Oh honey."

"You said that when I needed you, you would come. I need you mom." Janet realized that if Laura hadn't been at the house when Eddie had his seizures she doesn't know what she would have done. Now that Eddie's cancer was worsening Janet know that he would need more of her attention which meant that Jacob would be getting less of her attention which wasn't good for a six month old baby. Sharon had told Janet that when she needed help, she would be there and right now Janet needed her mom.

"I'll be on the first plane. Can someone stay with you until I get there?"

"I'm sure Laura will stay."

"I love you Janet. Stay strong."

"I love you too mom."

"I'll call you with my flight information as soon as I have it."

"Thanks." Janet hung up the phone, wiped her eyes and returned to Eddie's cubicle where he was just waking up.

"Janet why am I in the hospital?" He asked.

"You don't remember?" He shook his head. "You had a bunch of seizures. They weren't stopping so I had to call 911. The doctors changed your medication and added a new one so hopefully it won't happen again." Eddie held out his hand and Janet took it and he pulled her to his bed.

"Are you scared?"

"No."

"Liar. I'm sorry I scared you."

"It wasn't your fault."

"It's too soon Janet. I'm not ready."

"I'm not ready either so we're going to keep fighting okay?"

"Okay." As Janet wrapped her arms around Eddie and hugged him tightly she knew, no matter how hard they fought, this was one fight that they would not win.


	19. Chapter 19

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

Eddie rolled onto his back and slowly sat up. The more slowly he sat up the less of a chance he had of vomiting. He was now at the point in his illness that if he moved to quickly he became dizzy followed by vomiting. Once his stomach settled he removed the tape from his right eye so he could see with both eyes instead of one. Over the past three days his next symptom developed; his right eye wouldn't stay closed so that's where the tape came in. Whenever he wanted to sleep Janet had to tape his eye shut. Once the tape was off he rubbed his eye and blinked a few times and he was able to see. Yanking back the blankets he swung his feet over to the side of the bed. The second he stood and placed his weight on his legs he crashed to the floor.

Downstairs Janet was writing checks for their bills when she heard a thump above her, coming from their bedroom. Dropping her pen, she pushed back from the desk and ran up the stairs, yelling for her mom as she went. "Eddie." She cried when she opened the door and saw her husband lying on the floor, groaning in pain. "Baby, what happened?"

"My…legs…tried to get…fell…not hold…me." He was scared and began to cry. "Can't…walk"

"Janet what happened?" Sharon asked when she burst into the room carrying Jacob in her arms.

"He fell. He can't walk." Amazingly Janet was holding it together. She wanted to cry but she held back for Eddie's sake. "Can you help me get him back in bed?"

"Of course." Sharon set Jacob on the floor and then together, they awkwardly lifted Eddie back onto the bed. Even though he lost a lot weight he was still heavy for the two of them but they managed to get him back on the bed.

"How's that sweetheart?" Janet asked, straightening the blankets. As she was covering him up again she noticed that his pajama pants were soaking wet and there was a strong urine smell. "Oh baby. Your bag broke." A few weeks ago Eddie began to lose control of his bladder so now he had a catheter in that was attached to a bag that collected the urine. Janet saw Eddie glance at Sharon out of the corner of his eye. "I'll be right back hon."

Janet motioned her mom to follow her out of the bedroom and they walked downstairs. "Mom can you call the visiting nurse and see if his nurse can come by earlier to replace his catheter?" Janet asked as she went to the kitchen and filled a bowl with warm water so she could clean Eddie up.

"Of course I will. Can I do anything else?"

"You're doing it just by being here and helping me with Jake."

Once the bowl was full Janet returned upstairs and grabbed a washcloth from the hallway closet before returning to their room. "Hey babe. I'm back." She walked over and set the bowl down on the nightstand. "I'm going to grab the soap and then we'll get you all cleaned up."

"No." He told her.

"I'm promise that the water will be warm."

"I…say…no." It was becoming harder for him to speak anymore.

"You can't sit around in your urine."

"Wait…nurse."

"Mom is calling the service but I don't know when she will be here. You can't wait until then."

"Not…baby. No treat…like…it." Janet could see the humiliation in his eyes.

"I know that you aren't a baby and I'm not treating you like one." Janet placed the bowl on the bed beside him. "Clean yourself up if you want but I'll be here to help."

"I…NOOOO." He roared weakly. Using his right arm, which was stronger then his left, he hit the bowl with all of his strength sending the water onto Janet.

"EDDIE! That was uncalled for."

"Get…gone…Go…"

"Babe please…" He grabbed one of the pillows on the bed and threw it at her.

"Leave…alone…me."

"Fine. Yell if you change your mind or if you need anything." He sat on the bed, fuming and ignoring her. She leaned down and gently kissed his cheek. "I love you Eddie." When he didn't respond she left him alone and as the door shut she heard him crying.

Once she was downstairs she picked Jacob up out of his swing and held her son close to her chest for comfort. Right now he was the closest thing that she had to Eddie right now. "Janet, sweetheart what's wrong?" Sharon asked when she walked into the living room and saw her daughter on the couch with Jacob and tears rolling down her face.

"He's angry and embarrassed. He won't let me clean him up. In fact he threw the bowl of water at me so right now he upstairs sitting in his own piss being stubborn." Janet answered miserably.

"From the short amount of time that I have known your husband I can tell that he is a very prideful man and he gets embarrassed when he feels less like a man."

"I can't understand. I'm his wife. I've seen him naked. I've seen him pee and take a shit. Why won't he let me help him?"

"Give him some time to let what is happening to him sink in and then I'm sure he will let you help him."

"Did you get a hold of the nursing service?"

"Yes. I told them what happened and they are going to send someone over as soon as they can but they couldn't give me a time. Oh and they are bringing a wheelchair."

"Thanks mom." Jacob began to squirm in his mother's arms. "When was his last bottle?"

"When he woke up."

"Are you hungry baby boy? Let's get you your mid-morning snack" Janet carried him into the kitchen, placed him in his highchair and then warmed him up a jar of baby food. "Wow you must have been starving." Jacob was putting away his carrots.

"Knock, knock anyone home?" Jack Latekka's voice rang through the house.

"Come on in. We're in the kitchen." Janet called to his father in law. Jacob giggled when he saw his grandfather.

"Hey little man. You are a mess." He leaned down and kissed his head and then he did the same to Janet. "Hey sweetheart. Are you dong okay?"

"I've been better."

"Eddie?" Jack asked softly and Janet nodded. "What happened?"

"He can't walk. His legs aren't strong enough to hold him anymore."

"Is he upstairs?" Again, she nodded. "I'm going to go check on him."

"Thanks." Janet whispered as Jack walked out of the kitchen.

Jack walked into his son's bedroom without even knocking and the first thing he noticed was an empty bowl on the floor followed by the strong smell of urine. He saw his son sitting on the bed staring at the television, looking miserable. "Heard you had a rough day." Jack said as he sat on the end of the bed.

"Janet…should not…call…you."

"She didn't son. I was in the neighborhood so I stopped to see how you were. From what I can tell you aren't doing to hot. What's going on Eddie?"

"Can't…walk…legs...not..."Jack saw the look of frustration pass over his face as he tried to come up with the word he wanted to say but couldn't. "Can't…walk…" He said miserably.

"I'm sorry son." Jack whispered.

"No…sorry." Eddie said with a small smile.

"I understand. So can you tell me why in the hell does it smell like a urinal up here?"

"Fell…piss bag…broke…catheter…falled…out."

"Why didn't you tell Janet?"

"She…knew."

"I don't understand." Jack stood and pulled the blankets down and saw that Eddie was sitting in his own urine. "Why the hell are you still sitting in you're wet clothes?"

"I…say…no. Not…baby."

"Eddie…"

"Change…Jacob…he's…a…baby…not…me."

"Everyone knows that you aren't a baby. Letting Janet clean you up doesn't make you a baby. "

"Don't…want…wife…clean…piss."

"Stop being so damn stubborn."

"Not…stubborn. Embarrassed."

"Oh Eddie, there is no reason to be embarrassed."

"Grown…man."

"You're a grown man who needs help Eddie. There is no shame in that."

"Feel…" Eddie sighed. "Feel…DAMMIT…" He yelled in frustration.

"It's okay son. Let me and Janet help you. Let's get you cleaned up. I'll take you to the bathroom and get you a shower."

"No…see me…naked."

"I'm your dad and a man. We've got the same parts."

"Please." Eddie begged with tears in his eyes. "Bad…enough…Janet has…to see…me…to…clean…up…me." A lonely tear slid down his cheek.

"I understand. I'll get you to the shower, fully clothed and then Janet can help you undress. Will that work?" Eddie nodded. "Okay. Here we go." Jack leaned down. "Put your arm around my neck." Eddie did as his father asked. "Okay, here we go." Jack placed his hands under Eddie's thighs and effortlessly lifted him up. Jack couldn't believe how light Eddie was. He had to fight to keep from crying. He couldn't let his boy see what this was doing to him. "I'm going to go get Janet now to help you." Jack said when he placed Eddie on the shower bench that Janet had put in the bathtub. With a smile Jack headed out of the bathroom.

"Dad." Jack turned around. "Thanks."

"I'm your dad. It's what I'm here for."

A few minutes later Janet came into the bathroom and found Eddie struggling on the bench in an attempt to get his pajama pants off. She wanted to help him but she was afraid that it would piss him off so she just smiled at him and then turned on the water in the tub, trying to get it the right temperature. "Janet...help…please…pants."

"Sure thing baby." Janet removed her socks and then stepped into the tub, in front of Eddie. "Place your arms around my neck and hold on. I'm going to lift your butt up and pull your pants down." She knelt down and Eddie wrapped his arms around her neck. Using her upper body, on the count of three she lifted him up and quickly yanked his pants and boxers down. When Janet sat him back down, she kneeled down pulled them rest of the way down. Once they were off she got back out of the tub, pulled the shower head down and handed it to him. "I'll be in the bedroom. Yell if you need anything."

Taking Eddie's pajamas she went to their bedroom and removed the sheets and blankets from the bed and made a pile of the dirty linens and Eddie's pajamas to wash. Grabbing the sponge out of the bowl of soapy water and scrubbed the mattress until she heard Eddie yelling for her. "Honey?" She asked when she returned to the bathroom.

"Dropped…shower. Help…please."

"Of course." She reached into the tub and handed the head back to Eddie. She watched as he struggled to hold the shower head, the washcloth and try to wash himself at the same time. He looked up at Janet with desperation in his eyes.

"Can't…help."

"Of course I'll help." Janet went and shut the bathroom door and then returned to Eddie. She took the showerhead out of his hands and used it to wet him down. When she reached for the washcloth he reached out and grabbed his hand.

"Come…in…with…me."

"Eddie I…"

"Please…want to…see…you." Janet felt tears fill her eyes. It had been so long since Eddie had expressed any desire to be intimate. She missed his gentle touch and the look of desire in his eyes, which she was seeing know. "Please baby…Can…I…see?"

Never taking her eyes away from Eddie's she slowly removed her clothes and then she stepped into the tub with Eddie. "So…beautiful." He took the showerhead and aimed it towards Janet, getting her wet. "Touch?"

"Please." Janet moaned softly. With a smile Edie reached out and cupped one of her breasts with one hand, squeezing her nipple gently while the other hand rand down the side of her body, softly caressing her. Eddie pulled Janet towards him and placed the breast in his mouth while his other hand made its way to her ass. A quiet moan escaped Janet's mouth as she ran her fingers through his wet hair.

"Miss…you…this." He mumbled.

"Me too baby. I've missed this so much." Eddie awkwardly lifted one of Janet's legs and placed it on the tub. Then very slowly he ran his hand up her leg to her hot, wet center. "Eddie." She gasped when he inserted two fingers inside of her. "Oh baby." She moaned. The penetration was so much different then it was before. Due to the weakness in his hands his fingers moved slowly inside of her instead of the normal fast pace he usually sets. She groaned when his thumb began to circle her clit and his tongue licked her breasts. "Yes baby. Oh yes." She moaned. She closed her eyes, threw her head back and enjoyed the feeling of Eddie's hands on and in her body. "Oh baby. I'm going cum." She breathed when she felt the muscles in her abdomen tightening. When she opened her eyes to look at the man whom she loved more than anything she saw that his eyes were full of love and he was wearing the sweetest smile and that was all it took to send her over the edge. With a deep groan she gushed her womanly essence on his hand. "Thank you sweetheart. Thank you so much." She whispered as she came down from her sexual high and settled on his lap, thankful that bench she bought can hold hp to five hundred pounds.

"Sorry…not…do…more." He whispered sadly.

"Don't be sorry. Never be sorry. That was wonderful and just what I needed." Janet reassured him but it didn't work. Tears fell from his eyes.

"Deserve…you…deserve…more."

"Shhh. Don't think that way." She gently wiped his tears. "I have you and Jake and that's all I ever wanted."

"Janet…I…I…lo…lo…SHIT. I…can't…say…it." More tears fell from his eyes. He desperately wanted to tell his wife that he loved her but he couldn't make his mouth say it.

"I don't need the words to know how you feel. I see your feelings every time that you look at me."

"But…" Janet placed her index finger over his lips.

"No buts baby." Janet replaced her finger with her lips and they kissed gently until there was a knock on the bathroom door. "Yeah?" Janet called

"The nurse is here honey." Sharon called back.

"Thanks mom. We'll be done in a few." Janet started to get up but Eddie weakly held on to her.

"No. Stay…kiss…few…minute." He asked.

"Now how can a girl say no to that?" With a smile Janet leaned forward and pressed her lips to his and they shared a passionate kiss until they were both breathless.

"I…Janet…I…"

"I know baby, I know. I love you too." Janet reluctantly pulled herself off of Eddie's lap and quickly rinsed the soap off of her and Eddie, drenched his head with water, dumped some shampoo on his head and washed his hair.

"Feel…bad." Janet smiled to herself as she rinsed his head. Besides having trouble speaking and not being able to get some of his words out he often confused his words. She knew when he said that it felt bad what he thought he said was it felt good.

Stepping out of the tub Janet grabbed two towels and tossed one to Eddie so he could dry off as she dried herself off. Once she was dry she quickly put her clothes back on, threw her hair up in a sloppy ponytail and went to get some fresh underwear and pajamas for Eddie. "Put your tee shirt on and I'll get your pants and underwear." Janet instructed as she tossed him the shirt.

"Thank…you…care…of…me." Janet just nodded, avoiding his eyes so he wouldn't see the tears that were in hers. "Sorry…I…was…an…hole…ass…"

"I understand and it's okay."

"Just…emb…em…felt…stupid."

"It's me. There is no reason to feel embarrassed." She smiled softly at him. "Okay baby, arms around my neck so I can pull your pants up." Eddie didn't answer her. He just wrapped his arms around her neck and just like when she pulled them down she lifted his butt off of the bench and yanked his pants on. "I'm going to get your dad to carry you downstairs. Is that okay?"

"Don't…want…carry."

"I know sweetheart but it's the only way to get you downstairs."

"I…stay…up."

"I want you downstairs with me and Jacob. Mom made up the sofa bed for you so please baby come downstairs and be with your family."

"Make…you…happy?"

"It will make me very happy."

"Sleep…here…night?"

"I'll be sleeping on the couch with you."

"Get…dad."

"Thank you baby." Janet quickly walked out of the bathroom wiping her tears as she went. Everyday that she woke up and saw that Eddie was still alive she was so thankful but spending everyday, watching him die in front of her eyes was tearing her apart. "Sorry to keep you waiting." Janet said to the nurse when she got downstairs.

"No problem."

"Jack do you mind bringing Eddie downstairs? He's dressed but still in the shower."

"No problem."

"So Janet, I spoke with your mom and she said that Eddie couldn't walk. Do you know what happened?" Liz, the nurse asked.

"As you know, he's legs have been growing increasingly weak but he has been able to get around slowly with his walker but today I was down here when I heard him fall. When I found him he told me that his legs couldn't or wouldn't hold him. I guess when he fell he pulled his catheter out and his urine bag broke."

"How is his pain level today?"

"I honestly don't know. I haven't talked to him about it today. It's been a rough couple of hours."

"I understand."

"Coming through." Jack called walking into the living room with Eddie in his arms. Janet had to turn away so Eddie wouldn't see the pain on her face.

"Can Eddie, Janet and I have some privacy please?" Liz asked.

"Sure thing." Sharon said and her and Jack walked into the kitchen.

"Okay Eddie, I'm going to do a quick exam." He nodded and Liz began to check him out. "Things don't look bad. I'm going to put in another catheter and it's probably going to hurt so just bear with me." Janet sat on the sofa bed next to Eddie and took his hand. He groaned and squeezed her hand as Liz put the catheter in. "Almost done. Hang in there Eddie."

"Hurts."

"I know baby but you are doing so good. You are so brave."

"SON…BITCH." He yelled as tears fell from his eyes.

"There. We're all done. I need you to breathe now Eddie. Take a few deep breaths." Eddie did as she asked and he quickly calmed down. After a few minutes of checking his urine, Liz spoke again. "My biggest concern right now is that there is some blood in your urine but it's probably from some irritation when the catheter was yanked out during your fall. I'm going to keep an eye on it. Now how are you feeling? What is your pain level?"

"Seven, seven and a half."

"What's hurts?"

"Everything."

"I'm going to up your Morphine. It will help with the pain but it will make you very sleepy. Are you okay with that?" Liz asked him.

"Don't…hurt." Liz looked at Janet.

"He wants the shot. He doesn't want to hurt anymore." Janet translated.

"Is that what you want Eddie, the shot?" He nodded. "Okay, I'll give you the shot. "

Fifteen minutes later Eddie had his shot, his eye was taped shut and he was sleeping soundly and Liz had just packed up all of her supplies. "Liz, can I speak with you in private?" Janet asked the nurse.

"Walk me to my car." Janet grabbed a bag and followed Liz outside. "How can I help you?"

"How bad is it? How much time is left?" Janet asked tearfully.

"Honestly?" Janet nodded. "A few more weeks, maybe a month at the most but it's highly unlikely that he'll make it that long."

"Are you just giving me the worst case scenario?"

"No. I'm giving you reality. Everyday, another major body function quits. Your husband is in a lot of pain, constantly. The shots that I'm giving him aren't going to last more than at a few hours at a time so between the time that the shot wears off and the time that I give him a second shot in the evening he's going to be in a lot of pain."

"Can't you give him a stronger dose of Morphine at a time?"

"His blood pressure is too low. I gave him the strongest dose possible that his body can tolerate. I know that you and Eddie decided on going to the Hospice center at the end. Janet, the end is here and I think that it's time that he gets moved."

"I can take care of him."

"Of course you can but Hospice can make sure that Eddie gets more medication and he is comfortable. You don't want Eddie's last few weeks to be full of pain do you?"

"Of course not."

"Then make the move. Hospice can keep him comfortable at the end." Liz told her softly.

"Thank you for your honesty."

"Call me if you need anything before I come back."

When Liz pulled out of the driveway Janet was back on the porch, sitting on the swing, sobbing quietly. Sharon came out, sat next to her and pulled her daughter to her chest. Once in her mother's arms Janet broke down, clung to her mother and cried her heart out. "What is it Janet?" Sharon asked when Janet calmed down.

"Liz thinks that Eddie needs to go to Hospice."

"Maybe she's right."

"She's saying that he only has a few weeks left."

"And you're afraid that if he goes to Hospice that you are giving him permission to die." Janet nodded. "He's going to die with or without Hospice but by putting him in Hospice you are making the end more tolerable, more comfortable for him and that's what you want isn't it honey?"

"I don't want him to die." Janet cried out and Sharon just looked at her. "You're right." Janet sniffed. "I want him to be comfortable, not miserable. I'll talk to him later tonight."

--

Janet had just dozed off when she felt movement beside her. Thinking it was Jacob, trying to get comfortable, she immediately opened her eyes and looked at her son but she saw that he was sleeping peacefully. Raising her eyes she was Eddie was awake and watching Jacob. Janet reached across the baby and linked her hand with Eddie's.

"Why…baby…here?"

"I just wanted him close to us tonight."

"What…wrong?"

"You know me so well."

"Tell…"

"Baby, Liz thinks that it's time to go to Hospice. She says that they can make you comfortable so you won't be in so much pain." Even though she wanted to cry, she held it back. She didn't want to make it any harder for Eddie then it had to be.

"I…so…tired…hurt…bad…all the…hour…Don't…want…hurt…no…more."

"You wanna go?"

"You…with…me?"

"Of course. I won't leave your side."

"Go."

"I'll make the calls tomorrow." Janet told him sadly. "Get some sleep baby. I love you." Janet said when she saw him yawn.

"Me…too." Janet pulled herself up on her elbow and kissed him softly.

The next morning when Janet woke up Eddie was lying on his side with an arm slung around her and his head was touching hers. She didn't dare move or even breathe too loudly because she wanted this moment, wrapped safely in his arms to last as long as it could because she knew this would be the last morning that they would wake up together in the same bed and she wanted to remember this feeling forever but unfortunately Jacob wasn't aware of her plans because he started to stir. "Morning baby. Did you sleep well?" Jacob just cooed and smiled at her. He was such a morning baby. He never cried when he woke up. He just laid in his crib cooing until someone went and picked him up. "Did daddy's snoring keep you awake?"

"No…snore." Eddie mumbled through closed eyes and Janet giggled.

"Morning baby. How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Liar." Janet could see the pain all over his face.

"Feed…Jake?"

"No. He hasn't had his morning bottle yet."

"Me…feed…Jake…one…time…last."

"I'll get his bottle." Janet climbed off of the sofa bed, slipped on her robe and went to the kitchen to make Jacob's bottle. "Hey mom." Janet greeted when she got to the kitchen.

"Good morning. How are things?"

"Eddie wants to feed Jacob." Janet answered as she defrosted some breast milk. "One last time." She added in a whisper.

"You can't think like that."

"I'm not the one who said it. Eddie did but its true mom. He's going to the Hospice Care Center today and that means the end is here. He probably never feed Jacob again." Janet nervously filled the bottle and put it in the microwave. "Today was the probably the last time that we will ever wake up together in the same bed. Last night was probably the last night that we will sleep together in the same bed. I'll never wake up in his arms again mom." Sharon took Janet in her arms and held her tightly as Janet cried in her mother's shoulder so she could muffle the sound. She didn't want Eddie to hear her.

"I'm not going to say that everything that will be okay because it won't be. You're husband is dying and right now there is no worse pain to be experienced but you're doing the right thing honey. You are making Eddie's last few days as comfortable as possible. You're doing what is best for both of you."

"How is it the best for me?" Janet sniffed as she calmed herself down.

"It would tear you apart, maybe even destroy you to see your husband in severe pain."

"Thanks mom." Janet said as she pulled the bottle out of the microwave. "We're going to feed Jake and then I'll make the calls."

"How about you just spend time with your husband and son and I'll make the calls." Janet nodded, took a deep breath and returned to the living room.

"You…cry." Eddie observed softly as Janet settled herself back on the sofa bed.

"I'm fine." Janet handed the bottle to Eddie and he awkwardly placed it in Jacob's mouth. Jacob was now old enough to hold the bottle on his on but this time, Eddie was the one holding the bottle and Jacob helped him out.

"No…liar…at…me."

"Don't worry about me."

"So…sad."

"Yeah baby, I'm sad."

"Sorry…Ja…Ja..." Suddenly tears filled his eyes. He let go of the bottle and rolled away from her and Jacob. Janet hollered for her mom who came in and took the baby to finish feeding him. Janet then scooted over next to Eddie, laid down behind him, placing her head on his shoulder and she reached around his thin body until she found his hand.

"Baby, it's okay."

"I…not…remember…how…say…you…name." He sobbed.

"It doesn't matter to me. I know you know who I am. I know that you know that I love you so much and that's all that matters to me."

"I…sorry…leaving…don't…want…love…so…much." He cried.

"Shhh. Don't upset yourself."

"Hate…this…"

"So do I."

"Don't…want…die…hurt…all…time…want…pain…stop…"

"I don't want you to hurt anymore either. That's why we're going to Hospice. They'll give you medicine to take away your pain." She kissed his bare shoulder.

"Hold…me"

"As long as you need me to." Janet tightened her grip around his husband.

"Don't…let…go."

"Never." She whispered, burying her face in his shoulder. "Never, ever will I let you go."

--

That same afternoon an ambulance came and took Eddie to the Hospice Care Center and that began the horrible process of saying goodbye to a wonderful man. Sharon stayed at Janet and Eddie's home with Jacob, only bringing him to the center once a day for a few hours at a time because the small room that was always full with Eddie's family and friends was not a great place for a seven month old baby that wanted to explore. In fact, the only time the room was almost empty was a night when Janet could be found sleeping on a recliner next to Eddie's bed holding his hand.

The first week that Eddie was there all of his best friends came and spent hours talking, reminiscing about the past. Eddie extracted promises from the men he trusted most to take care of his family, be the father to Jacob that he can't be and most importantly they promised to make sure that the man that Janet fell in love with after he was gone is a good man, treats her and Jacob right and that he loves her for who she is. The worst part was when they all said their goodbyes to their very best friend. It was the hardest thing that any of them ever had to do. Janet always gave them privacy and waited out in the hall but when Owen came out sobbing and he took Janet in his arms while his body shook with heartache, Janet cried right along with him.

By the time the second week approached Eddie was barely conscious. He was constantly in so much pain that the nurses had him pretty well sedated. Janet only left his side long enough to shower in the attached bathroom. She was terrified that if she left him for just one minute that minute is when he would die and she hasn't said her goodbyes yet. Even though she knew that his death was inevitable, there was a part of her that thought that if she didn't say goodbye then he wouldn't die.

"Is he in a lot of pain?" Janet asked the nurse late on night when she came in to give him another dose of pain medication.

"Yes I believe that he is in a lot of pain."

"Can't you do anything else?"

"We are doing all we can for him." Janet sighed and squeezed Eddie's hand. "Can I be honest with you Mrs. Latekka?"

"Please."

"He is ready to go. I believe that he is just hanging on for you to tell him that it's okay to let go, that you are okay for him to go."

"But I'm not. I'll never be ready for him to go."

"I understand that but do you really want him here with you like this?"

"Thank you for your candor." The nurse patted Janet on the shoulder and left her and Eddie alone. An hour later as she was sitting next to him watching him sleep when he moaned and she knew it was time, time to let go.

"My sweet, sweet Eddie, I love you so much. Words can't express how I feel for you, how much I love you. I know that we didn't have as much time together as we wanted, hell forever wouldn't have been long enough but Eddie, these past 2 years that we have had together have been the best of my life." Janet stopped to take a deep breath. "I have never felt as loved as I did when we were together. Thank you for loving me, for giving me Jacob, a part of you that will be here with me. I'm going to miss you so damn much. My heart hurts at the thought of you not being here anymore but I know that you are ready to go. You have fought such a long, hard battle so baby it's time for you to rest now. Just know that I will love you forever. Every time that I look at our son I will see you. Rest now, my sweet man." Janet laid her head on his chest and cried until she felt his hand in her hair a few minutes later. She immediately stopped crying. "Eddie?"

"Janet, I love you too." He whispered and Janet was momentarily speechless. His speech was perfect. "You said I've made you happy but you have made me just as happy. I'm thankful that you have been with me."

"I wouldn't have been anywhere else."

"I haven't accomplished much in my life. I've made a lot of bad choices but the best choice I made was falling in love with you. You and Jacob are the best things that I have done. I only have two regrets Janet. One is the fact that I will not see Jacob grow into a man and second is the fact that I won't grow old with you. We didn't have enough time but the time we had was amazing wasn't it?" Janet just nodded. "It was a hell of a ride. Promise me something."

"Anything." Janet answered in a choked voice.

"Don't let Jacob forget me."

"I won't. I promise." Eddie weakly reached up, placed his hand behind her neck and pulled her down for a soft kiss.

"Janet, I'm so tired." She knew what he was saying. He was ready to go.

"I understand. Go ahead and rest."

"I'll always be watching."

"You better." It was no use to try and hide her tears. They flowed freely.

"When the sun is shining, know that's me smiling at you and when it's raining, those drops are my tears because I miss you."

"I'll miss you, everyday."

"I…need…sleep…tired." His scattered speech had returned.

"I love you."

"Love…so…much." He closed his eyes and Janet kissed his still lips.

Never taking her eyes off of him Janet held his hand and whispered words of love until he took his last breath and slipped out of this world, taking her heart with him twenty two minutes later.

--

"Come on honey. Open your eyes." Eddie pried his eyes opened.

"Mom?"

"You're awake." Laura stated the obvious. Eddie looked around his hospital room and saw his dad and Katie next to his bed but one very important person was missing.

"Janet?" He croaked out.

"She went to grab some coffee. She'll be back any minute. She hasn't left your side since you came out of surgery."

"How long was I out?"

"A week. Dr. Turner put you in a medicated coma until the swelling in your brain went down." Laura leaned down kissed his bandaged head. Just then the door opened and Janet walked in with four cups of coffee. Her eyes went directly to Eddie and a huge smile crossed her face. Eddie opened his arms, she set the box down that held the coffee on the window sill and rushed into his waiting arms, hugging him tightly. Eddie unabashedly let his tears fall as he held her tightly.

"I'll go have Dr. Turner paged." Jack said slipping out of the room.

Eddie and Janet didn't say a word. They just held each other. Eddie couldn't get his dream of their life together as he was dying out of his mind and Janet was just enjoying the feeling of his fingers running through her curls.

"Eddie, how are you feeling?" Dr. Turner asked when he walked in Eddie's room ten minutes later and that's when Janet and Eddie finally broke their embrace. Janet stood next to his bed, clutching his hand.

"Like my skull was split open with a hammer."

"Close but we didn't use a hammer."

"So is it cancer?" Eddie asked, jumping right in. He needed to know if his dream was going to come true.

"The tumor was about the size of a baseball. It was pressing against your skull and cranial nerves which caused your headaches."

"Yeah, you explained that to me before the surgery. What I need to know is if I have cancer." Dr. Turner smiled softly at his newest patient.

"The tumor was benign." Eddie looked confused. "It was negative for cancer Eddie."

"Are you sure?" Katie asked

"Absolutely. There were no cancer cells at all in the tumor or anywhere in the surrounding brain tissue."

"Really? That's it? Just like that?"

"Just like that. I'm going to suggest for the next five years that you have a M.R.I. every six months to make sure that another tumor doesn't appear."

"Is that a possibility?" Laura asked.

"A small one and that's why I want to continue to watch but as of right now you do not have cancer and in about six weeks you will be back to living your normal life."

_**Due to popular demand Eddie Latekka lives. I hope you enjoyed the twist. Thanks for reading.**_


	20. Chapter 20

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

As Dr. Turner continued to talk about what Eddie should expect over the next six weeks he didn't listen. He knew that his mom would be doing enough listening for the both of them. All he could think about was Janet and his dream. His head was beginning to throb due to the fact that his skull was cut open to but he really wanted to talk to Janet and his family. "Eddie are you in pain?" Dr. Turner asked him.

"I feel like my head is going to…explode."

"I'm going to have a nurse come in and give a pain shot. You'll probably be out for the rest of the night."

"How much longer will I be in this kind of pain?"

"Were you listening to anything I said?" He shook his head. "The pain will lessen everyday as your skull heals."

"Thanks. If you need anything page me." Dr. Turner turned to Eddie's family and Janet. "He's going to need his rest so please just let him rest."

"We will. Thank you doctor." Laura said.

"Janet, sweetheart will you give me a few minutes alone with these guys?" Eddie requested softly. He was scared that she would take it personally but she seemed fine with it.

"Absolutely."

"Can you also do me a favor?" She nodded eagerly. "Can you call the guys and let them know that I'm awake and they can come by tomorrow afternoon?"

"Sure thing." Since they were still clutching hands, he pulled her down to his face and kissed her quickly. He didn't want to embarrass her in front of his family.

"Don't go far." He said when she got to the door.

"I won't." With a sweet smile she disappeared out into the hall.

"Is something wrong?" Katie asked.

"No. Everything is great. Hell, I'm alive, I don't have cancer and I have a great family and a wonderful woman that loves me. It doesn't get much better than that."

"Why did you want Janet to leave?" His dad inquired.

"Cause I don't her to know what I'm going to ask."

"Which is?"

"What day is it?" Eddie's head hurt so bad that he couldn't figure out what day it was.

"Friday." Laura answered.

"Time?" Jack looked at his watch.

"A few minutes after three."

"Good. Mom I need you to go the bank and access my safe deposit box."

"Why?"

"I want grandma's engagement ring. I want you to bring it to me tomorrow."

"Why?" Laura managed to ask.

"Why do you think?"

"You're going to ask Janet to marry you?"

"Very good bug." Eddie said with a grin.

"You guys haven't been together very long; only a few months." Laura stated.

"You have no room…to talk mom." Eddie said with a painful grin, referring to his parent's brief courting period before they were married. "I've known her for years and I knew after our first date I was going to marry her. This tumor… has shown me that life can be cruelly taken away at any point… and I don't want to wait any longer with Janet. I want to be with her for as long… as I can as… her husband." The pain in his head was getting worse.

"Eddie I think that you…" Laura was interrupted by Jack.

"Our boy knows what he wants honey and we need to support him." Laura slowly nodded. She knew that Janet loved Eddie with her whole heart and she knew that her son felt the same.

"Kate?" She rushed to her brother's side.

"I'll need some help tomorrow."

"Anything I can do."

"I'll call you when I get up and tell you my plan."

"I'll be waiting."

"Now go home." Eddie demanded. He saw his mom shake her head and he held out his hand for her to hold. "Mom I know you are worried but I'm fine. You heard the doctor. He said you have to let me rest and that's what I'm going to do. I'll see you in the morning." Laura leaned down and kissed him. "With my ring?"

"With your ring." She confirmed.

"I love you guys. Now send Janet back in."

"Love you too." They all said. After gentle hugs and kisses were given the Latekka family left him alone. He closed his eyes while he waited for Janet to return and he smiled through the pain when he sensed her standing next to his bed. He opened his eyes and his smile became larger when he saw her blue eyes looking at him.

"I called Nick and he is going to call the guys and they will be here tomorrow afternoon. He wanted to come right away but I told him that you were going to be sleeping for the rest of the night so he finally agreed to wait." Janet explained.

"Thank you." He said tenderly. "Will you sit my bed up?" Eddie asked

"Of course." She found the control and slowly raised his bed to a sitting position. As soon as Eddie was sitting up he reached out, pulled her down on the bed next to him, reached out and cupped her face, pulled her to him and kissed her softly until they could no longer breathe.

"I love you." He breathed out when they finally broke apart.

"I love you too."

"It seems like so much longer than a week since I last kissed you."

"I was so scared Eddie. I thought that…" He placed a finger over lips to keep from talking.

"Not now. I'm going to be getting my shot soon and I'll be asleep so I don't want to waste that time talking about my tumor okay?" She nodded.

"I've missed you much."

"If I would have been conscious I'm sure that I would have missed you too." His door opened and a nurse walked in. "Can you give me a few minutes please?"

"Sure thing. Just press your call button when you are ready for your shot."

"Eddie you should get your shot."

"I will." He reached out and ran a finger down her face. "You look tired. Are you tired sweetheart?"

"I'm fine."

"Mom said that you never left my side for the entire week that I was in my medicated coma."

"I…I couldn't."

"I think that I knew…that I sensed that you were here." That may explain his dream. He reached up and wiped away the stray tear that had fallen. "Promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Go home." She actually looked hurt. "I don't mean that…in a bad way. You look…tired. Where have you been sleeping?"

"On that chair." She mumbled.

"Please. I'm going to be sleeping…all night. I want you to sleep well tonight in your bed…not damn chair. Promise me?" She nodded and reached over and hit the call button. She couldn't stand watching him in pain anymore.

"I'm staying until you fall asleep."

"Fine." He conceded. "So much to tell you. Tomorrow. I'll tell you everything tomorrow."

"I'm looking forward to it." She whispered as his nurse came in.

"Ready for your shot Mr. Latekka?"

"Please." He looked at Janet. "Tomorrow…four o'clock. Don't come until then."

"All right Mr. Latekka. The medication should be taking effect here shortly." The nurse quickly left the room.

"Why can't I come over in the morning?" She sounded heartbroken.

"Family here then…then my boys…then you. Just you and me. Please Janet. Just me and you. So much to tell you and I…want to be rested."

"I'll wait." She saw his face relaxing.

"Help…lay down." Janet grabbed the bed controller and laid his bed down. He was now struggling to keep his eyes open. It amazed him how quickly the medication took affect. "I love you Janet." He whispered before he fell into a pain free slumber.

"I love you too." Janet leaned down and pressed her lips to his still bandaged head and quietly snuck out of his room.

The hour drive home seemed to take longer than normal because she was so tired, something she didn't realize until she got behind the wheel, but she made it and once Janet got home she ran a bath for herself. She had to admit that she was quite sore from sleeping in that uncomfortable chair that pulled out and reclined so she could actually lay down. As she slid into the tub and the hot water and bubbles covered her body she instantly felt herself relax. She laid her head against the back of the tub and the events of the past few months ran through her mind. Four months ago when Eddie showed up at Sully's first thing in the morning and asked her out on a date she was shocked and happy as hell but she played it off and causally accepted. She, like most girls in The Ridge had dreamed of sleeping with Eddie Latekka but she knew it would never happen. He was Eddie Latekka for crying out loud and she was Janet Meadows, the chubby bartender at everyone's favorite bar, Janet and Eddie would never happen. It wasn't the way of the world but the world seemed to be changing.

Their first date was amazing. She couldn't believe her luck. They both dressed up and he took her to a fancy restaurant. When the bill came she tried to pay for her half, because the restaurant was so expensive, but he grabbed the bill from her and paid it. They stayed at the restaurant, drinking coffee and talking until they were asked to leave. Once they were in his truck he told her that he wasn't ready for this night to end and asked her if it would be okay he drove out to the lake for a little while. She eagerly agreed. She was enjoying this night too much and she wasn't ready for it to end.

When they arrived at the lake he pulled a blanket out of his truck. Janet commented on the tackiness of having a blanket in his truck but Eddie told her he had just put it in there today, hoping that their night would end at the lake and she believed him. They made their way to the dock, took of their shoes, Eddie rolled up his pant legs and they dangled their feet in the water, talking and holding hands until the sun rose. They talked about anything and everything and it just felt right, for both of them. At one point Janet decided to let him know where she stood. This date was going so well and she didn't want to get her hopes up and then have them crushed when he reverted back to his old ways.

"_There is something that you need to know Eddie." She began softly, fighting the nervous anxiety in her stomach. What she was going to say could make or break what was starting between them. _

"_Tell me." _

"_I don't know what you are expecting from this or me but I am having the most wonderful night that I have ever had."_

"_So am I Janet so what's the problem? I'm looking forward to many more wonderful nights like this."_

"_The problem is you and maybe me. I know what you like, what your definition of a relationship is and that's not who I am. I really like you Eddie and I think…no wait, I feel like we have something special here but I need you to know that I will not be one of your bang buddies or another notch on your bedpost. That's not who I am and if that's what you are expecting from me then maybe we should end this night right now." Janet was afraid to even look at Eddie right now but she had to tell him how she felt before her heart got broken. She was staring at the water when she felt his hand under her chin, turning her face to look at him. _

"_Janet I know that is what you have seen from me in the past through our years of friendship but that was the past. I don't want another bang buddy or another notch on my bedpost. I feel something too Janet, something that I have never felt before and I want to explore what could be between us. Will you give me…give us a chance?" He asked softly._

"_Yes Eddie. I want to give us a chance but so help me god if you…" He placed a finger over her lips_

"_It won't happen. I promise." _

Once the sun was up Eddie took her to breakfast and when they were done he took her home and walked her to the door. Janet will never forget their first kiss. He told her how much fun he had, how he has never had a date as amazing and wonderful as this one and then he leaned forward, cupped her face, closed his eyes and kissed her softly. There was no tongue, no slobber, just pure sweetness and it was the perfect first kiss. Neither of them had experienced something so perfect before and at that moment they both knew that they were in the midst of something wonderful.

Over the next four months their romance blossomed. They went on dates and they hung out together at one of their homes, making out, watching television and sports. Eddie loved that she enjoyed getting dressed up and going to nice places just as much as loved relaxing in sweat pants watching a game on TV. The only downer to their budding romance was the increasing headaches that Eddie was getting. He tried to act like they weren't so bad but Janet knew better. She could see the pain in his eyes and she knew that they were bad when a few times he admitted that he was in pain.

The day that they were planning on taking a trip to Rhode Island to see Janet's grandparents and make love for the first time Eddie had to bail on her because his dad needed his help. He felt horrible about not going with her but assured him that his family came before sex. Before she left he told her that he loved her and her heart soared with happiness.

Janet was riding high on his proclamation of love when she got the phone call. Laura sounded very calm on the phone when she told her that Eddie was being taken to a Boston hospital. She didn't tell her why; just that they needed to run more tests and that Eddie wanted her to know but not to worry, like that was possible. She quickly inserted the hospitals address in her GPS and changed directions so she could get to the hospital.

Janet drove as fast as she dared, about five miles over the speed limit keeping in constant contact with Laura but every conversation was vague. She wouldn't give Janet any details, just generalizations, Eddie is having blood work done, Eddie is having an MRI done, and Eddie is waiting on test results. Janet knew that Laura knew more than what she was saying and in a way it irritated Janet that she wasn't telling her what was actually happening but at the same time she was glad that she wasn't telling her everything because she was sure that she wouldn't be able to concentrate on driving if she knew what was really wrong with him. All she knew for sure, what her gut was telling her is that it had to do with his headaches.

When Janet arrived at the hospital Jack was waiting at the main door for her because Laura wouldn't leave her son's side. He rushed her to the elevator in silence. "Jack what's going on?" Janet asked as soon as the doors to the elevator shut.

"They're prepping him for surgery."

"Why?"

"To remove the tumor."

"Where is it?" She whispered although she already knew.

"His brain." Jack answered simply.

"Is it..?" She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"They won't know until they remove it and test it. All they know right now is that there is a baseball size tumor sitting in his brain pressing against his skull and nerves causing him the severe headaches." Janet clamped a hand over her mouth to keep from crying out. The elevator doors opened and Jack ushered her out. "You only have a few minutes. They are ready to take him to surgery but he wanted to see you so the doctors are waiting so you're going to have to make it quick." He stopped in front of a room. He knocked on the door and Laura emerged a few seconds later with red, swollen eyes from crying.

"Go ahead Janet. He is waiting for you." Laura said softly.

When Janet walked in the room she saw Eddie lying on the bed and she could tell he was in obvious pain. Taking a deep breath she walked over to him and grabbed his hand. His eyes immediately opened and he smiled at her. "Sorry about your trip." He whispered.

"Don't be sorry."

"I have a big ass tumor in my head."

"I know."

"It might be cancer."

"I know." Eddie squeezed her hand.

"I'm scared Janet. They are going to cut my skull open and probably remove some of it to get it out. The doctor…" Janet watched as tears began to fall from his eyes. "The doctor said that there is a chance that I may…I might die during the surgery."

"You won't Eddie. You are the strongest man that I know."

"If I die please tell the guys that they are my best friends and I love them."

"I won't have to."

"Mr. Latekka it's time to go." A nurse said.

"One more minute." He requested and the nurse nodded and left them alone. "I love you Janet and these last four months have been the happiest of my life and if I die today I want you to know that." Janet was unable to stop her tears from falling. She leaned down and kissed him softly.

"I love you too Eddie and I promise you that we have more, so many more happy months and even years ahead of us. I'll be right here when you wake up and until you do wake up I won't leave you." She kissed him until the nurse returned to take him to surgery.

"How long will the surgery take?" Janet asked after she, Jack and Laura settled into the surgical waiting room.

"Four hours minimum but it could be longer depending on how hard it is to get the tumor out so basically, we don't know." Jack said miserably.

"He told me that there is a chance that he could die during this surgery." Laura nodded numbly. "How big is the chance?"

"Twenty to thirty percent." Laura answered and Janet couldn't respond. She tried to allow positive thoughts to run through her mind; instead of the twenty to thirty percent chance that he could die she tried to focus on the seventy to eighty percent chance that he would live but it wasn't working. All she could think about was the chance that he could die and it was breaking her heart. She never thought that she would ever fall in love but she did and when she did fell hard and now all that she could think about was losing him and she was overwhelmed with guilt.

"I should have made him go to the doctor. He kept complaining of his headaches. They kept getting worse. I asked him to see his doctor but he refused. I should have forced him to go. If he would have just have gone…before it got to this point then maybe…"Jack reached over and took Janet's hand.

"Don't beat yourself up Janet. You know how stubborn my boy is. His stubbornness is a good thing most of the time, it has made him who he is but sometimes it's a pain in the ass. Dr. Turner said it wouldn't have made any difference if he would have come in a few months ago. When he started getting the pain the tumor was already huge. He probably had it when you two started dating. Even if you had managed to convince him to go to the doctor it wouldn't have changed where we are right now."

"Thanks Jack. I appreciate it. I'm just so worried."

"We all are sweetheart but my boy is a strong one and he will be fine."

"He will." Janet agreed.

Over the next three and a half hours they all sat around, flipping aimlessly through the same magazines over and over, changing the channels on the television over and over even though they found nothing of interest to watch but mostly they paced the waiting room back and forth, trying not to think about the worst case scenario but it wasn't working.

When Katie, who flew in from Atlanta and took a cab to the hospital, walked in her parents embraced her and Janet walked over to the window to give Eddie's family some privacy. Janet was staring out the window and seeing nothing when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and came face to face with Laura and Katie. "Janet I would like for you to meet my daughter, Eddie's sister Katie. Katie this is your brother's girlfriend Janet."

"Katie it's a pleasure meeting you." Janet held out her hand and instead of taking it Katie stretched her arms out and hugged Janet and Laura discreetly walked away, leaving them alone.

"You too Janet. I have heard a lot about you."

"Only the good stuff is true." Janet joked.

'Then everything I have heard is true because my brother has nothing but good things to say about you."

"I'm sure that's not true."

"It is. Trust me. I've never known Eddie to be this happy and I have known him for twenty eight years." Janet smiled, feeling somewhat embarrassed. "Eddie and I talk every morning when I am on my way to work. I'll never forget the morning he called, four months ago I think, and he was furious."

"What? Why?"

"There was this girl who worked at the bar who he was friends with." Katie began with a grin. "He had developed feelings for this friend but he never told her about them."

"Why?" Janet asked, playing along. "Why didn't he tell her?"

"Because he didn't think he was good enough for her. In his words he thought that she was this amazing woman with a heart of gold that was too good for him."

"I'm sure that's not true."

"Well that's what he thought. So he formulated this plan to better himself, he worked really hard to make a successful business so he could shower her with gifts and take her to nice, expensive restaurants, he stopped…dating…I'm not sure if that is the right word but we'll go with it, he stopped dating so she would see that he wasn't the same man who would sleep with just anyone anymore." Janet felt tears fill her eyes because she never realized how many changes he made for her. "One night he was at the bar and he saw this girl he really liked leave on a date with and again I'm using his words, a doofus from the Duf, and he became furious, not with her but with himself. He was furious that he had waited so long and he was terrified that he was too late, that he had lost his only chance to be with her and of course you know my brother, he wasn't going to lose the one girl he really wanted, something that had never happened before so he made a decision to get what he wanted and he usually succeeds in getting what he wants. The very next day he showed up at the beginning of her shift and asked her out for that night and when she said yes, it was the happiest moment of his life." Janet's tears were now falling.

"Really?" She whispered and Katie nodded. Again, she felt like shit because he never told her and she didn't know.

"When we had our daily phone call the next morning he had just left your house and he was so freaking happy. Janet, I swear he actually sounded giddy and everyday since that first date he gets happier. He said he always felt like something was missing from his life and now that you two are together he finally feels complete."

"He has made me just as happy." Suddenly, Janet started to giggle.

"What is so funny?"

"I was just thinking that the catalyst for our relationship was someone else asking me out. If I would have known that I would have said yes to the offers that I had gotten before but the funniest thing is that I didn't have a date that night."

"Huh? He said he saw you leave with that guy."

"I did leave with a guy but it wasn't a date. I would never date a student at The Duf. I am thirty years old and these guys are in their early twenties which equals way to immature. That night, Lance who is a regular locked his keys in his car. Lance is a goof who always locks his keys in his car so he gave me a spare key. That night he came up to me for his spare key and since it was the end of my shift and I had left the spare key in my jeep so we left together. I guess I can see how Eddie thought that it was date and I am so glad that he did." Katie started laughing and the two women embraced.

It was another three hours, three very long hours for Jack, Laura, Katie and Janet before Dr. Turner came into the surgery waiting room. He told them that the surgery was more complicated than he had anticipated but he was able to remove all traces of the tumor successfully. After they all had calmed down from shedding tears of joy Dr. Turner explained to them that there was a lot of swelling in his brain so he was going to keep Eddie in a medicated coma, that if he was conscious he would be in a severe amount of pain and his agitation would make it harder and longer to heal. He wasn't able to tell them how long he would be in his coma, the length of time would depend on the swelling and how long it took to go down but Dr. Turner assured them that the swelling would go down and Eddie would wake up and that's all that mattered to Eddie's family and Janet.

The week that Eddie spent in his medically induced coma was one of the longest weeks of Janet's life. She promised Eddie that she would be there for him and she took her promise to heart, she never left his room for more than thirty minutes. Jack and Laura begged her to come to the hotel with them and get a room at night so she could sleep but she politely refused and slept on a pull out chair next to his bed and Laura thought that it was wonderful that Janet loved her son so much that she didn't argue with her, she knew it would have been pointless anyway. Janet and Katie also grew closer during that week. They were only two years apart and they each thought the world of each other and they spent a lot of time talking about Eddie, their lives, how they grew up and how their lives were now and by the end of the week they both felt extremely close.

Suddenly, Janet realized that her bath water had grown cold and she was very tired. She got out of the tub, dried off and slipped on one of Eddie's shirts that he had left at her place one night when his head hurt too bad to drive home. She brushed her teeth and fell into the soft bed and almost immediately fell asleep. As she drifted off to sleep she had the image of Eddie, awake from his coma, cancer free, smiling at her in her mind and for the first time in a week Janet had a good night sleep.

* * *

"Katie thanks so much for helping me out with this." Eddie told his sister. She was setting up a card table for him and Janet to have a special, romantic dinner, well as romantic as it could be in a hospital.

"No problem. I would do anything for you. How are you feeling?"

"Tired but better. I have only had one pain shot today and I was knocked out for a few hours and for the rest of the time I have just been taking pain pills and I've been okay."

"Did mom remember to bring you grandma's ring?"

"Yeah she did. She even got it cleaned. It looks really good." Katie put the finishing touches on the table by adding some candles.

"There. All done. Your food should be delivered in about twenty minutes. Is there anything else you need?"

"Yeah. I would like for you to sit here with me so I can talk to you." Katie gave her brother a weird look but Eddie smiled, patted the empty spot on his bed and she joined him. She never could say no to her big brother.

"What's up?"

"Are you happy bug?" Katie looked at the floor and nodded. She could never lie to Eddie while looking in his eyes. "You're lying to me."

"Did Janet tell you?" Katie had opened up to Janet about her life in Atlanta, thinking that she would keep her secret.

"What? You told Janet about what was going on and not me?"

"You were unconscious."

"Oh right. And by the way Janet didn't say anything to me. I only talked to her for a few minutes and trust me bug, you weren't the topic of conversation." Eddie said with a grin. "What's going on Kate? You can talk to me."

"I'm miserable." She admitted softly. She lifted her head and Eddie saw tears streaming down her face. He reached out and pulled her to his chest and held her for a few minutes. "I should have listened to you Eddie. You knew Joel was an ass. You told me but I didn't listen."

"Some things, even if the big brother is right, we have to learn on our own. You inherited the Latekka stubbornness so it's innate that you wouldn't listen. Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

"He changed when we moved. He started drinking…a lot, not coming home at night but I just blew it off, telling myself that he was just working hard and then these other women started calling the apartment and I knew he was sleeping with them. He of course denied it but I knew, in my heart or maybe it was my womanly intuition but I knew he was lying."

"He hasn't…" The thought of that asshole hitting his baby sister made him sick. "He hasn't hit you has he?"

"No Eddie he hasn't. I may be stupid enough to stay with a guy who is cheating on me but I would never stay with a man who hits me."

"Why are staying bug? You don't need that, you are so much better than that. Come home."

"I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because if I have to come home then it means that I failed."

"That's such bullshit Katie. It just means that things didn't work out with a true asshole."

"Come on Eddie. What kind of girl can't keep a guy in her bed? I've got a degree in photography and I'm taking pictures in a department store which fired me when I left to come here to be with you. Yeah, that sounds real successful."

"Aww bug. You can't think like that. Everyone has a detour from their ultimate life plan. Look at me, I was supposed to start a business with my best friend years ago but I had to take a detour, a ten year and failed business detour but now I've got my business with Nicky that is very successful and I've got a great girl. Come home Katie. I know that all of your dreams of love and taking pictures are here in The Ridge."

"You can't know that Eddie."

"I had a dream while I was in my coma and it was so real. In my dream you moved back home and everything you wanted you found here." Katie snorted.

"A dream Eddie? Really?"

"I'm telling you Kate it was so damn real. I think it was a glimpse of what the future holds for me, Janet, my friends and you and I'm telling you Kate everything you want is here."

"So in this dream I met a guy and fell in love." Eddie nodded. "Who is it?"

"I'm not telling you. You have to find him on your own. Will you come home?"

"I don't have anywhere to stay."

"You can always stay with mom and dad or with Janet. I'm sure that she wouldn't mind."

"Oh no. I would much rather stay with mom and dad then with Janet."

"Why? I thought that you liked her."

"I do. I like her a lot but what I don't like is sleeping in the next room listening to you have sex. I have done that once before and that is one thing I do not to repeat."

"Umm you have never had to listen to me have sex. I haven't ever brought a girl home. Mom and dad would kill me."

"Liar. You were eighteen, just graduated from high school and mom and dad were out of town. You brought some chick home and all I heard was her yelling "Oh Eddie…Oh yes…please" and the headboard banging up against the wall." Katie said grinning.

"I had forgotten about that. Sorry." He said.

"You should be."

"So are you coming home?"

"Yeah Eddie. I'm coming home." Eddie hugged her tightly.

"I am so glad."

"Me too." She mumbled into his chest.

* * *

Janet walked down the now familiar hall of the fifth floor of the Boston hospital. The nurses noticed that she looked so much more rested than she had been over the past week and that had a lot to do with the good night's sleep she got the night before and they relaxing day she spent lounging around her hotel room with Hannah who rode up with Nick and the guys. Janet was surprised when she got to his room and saw that the door was closed. Thinking that maybe his parents or maybe even Katie was still there visiting and not wanting to interrupt them she knocked instead of just walking in.

"Come in." Eddie called. Janet pushed open the door and was confused to find the blinds closed and the room was dark. She got even more confused when her eyes traveled to his hospital bed and found that it was empty. "Over here." Janet turned her head and gasped in surprise when she saw him sitting at a little card table filled with food and bathed in candlelight.

"What's going on?" She whispered.

"I believe that I owe you a fancy dinner." He had promised her a nice, fancy dinner during their trip to Rhode Island.

"Well I think that I'm a tad under dressed for this fanciness." She was wearing jeans and a casual shirt.

"What the hell are you talking about? Look at me. I'm wearing this hospital gown with bandages on my head. You are dressed perfectly. Now sit your ass down."

"Yes sir." Smiling Janet pulled out the folding chair across from Eddie.

"I'm sorry that I can't get up to pull out your chair. I get too dizzy when I move and it takes away from the point of me pulling out your chair if you have to help me back to my seat." He smiled tiredly at her.

"Don't worry about it. This is perfect, exactly how it is." Eddie dished out the food he ordered onto their plates. "Eat up." He ordered. For the next thirty minutes they ate with comfortable conversation while they held hands throughout the entire meal.

"I have some dessert for us but I was hoping that we could talk while our stomachs' digested. Is that okay?" Janet suddenly felt very nervous.

"I...is something wrong? Did I do something wrong?" She asked tearfully. Eddie reached across the table and held out his other hand until she joined hers with his.

"No sweetheart. You didn't do anything wrong and everything is wonderful, well expect for being in the hospital with staples holding my skull together. You and I are together and I'm alive. Everything is fine."

"Then what is going on?"

"I want to tell you about a dream I had."

"Last night?"

"No while I was in my coma and I want to tell you about it."

"It must have been some dream."

"It really was. Do you want to hear about?" She nodded. "Before I tell you I want you to know how very much I love you and that is something that I knew before I had my surgery and went into my coma. I need you to know that. Do you know that Janet?"

"Yes I Eddie I do and honestly you're scaring me."

"Don't be scared sweetheart."

"So don't keep me hanging. Start talking so the butterflies will disappear."

"Well my dream began with Dr. Turner coming into my hospital room telling me that I had brain cancer." Eddie began.


	21. Chapter 21

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"_Well my dream began with Dr. Turner coming into my hospital room telling me that I had brain cancer." Eddie began. _

"Thank God it was just a dream." Janet mumbled. Over the past week, she envisioned the worst, Eddie with cancer; Eddie dying.

"Before I go on, can we take this to my bed? My head is feeling a little too heavy to hold up."

"Sure." Janet quickly stood and helped Eddie to his bed. Once settled she pulled up the chair next to his bed but before she could sit, he stopped her.

"I said can we take this to the bed. We as in you and me. Come up here with me sweetheart. There is plenty of room for both of us." To prove his point, he scooted over to the side, making room for her. He held out his hand and she found it impossible to resist so she climbed into the bed next to him. Eddie rested his head against the bed and Janet rested her head on his shoulder.

"Now, remember what I'm going to tell you was all a dream okay?" She nodded. "Okay. So Dr. Turner came in told me that I had brain cancer. This cancer was inoperable and it was going to kill me in nine months max if I took chemo. The chemo would make me sick, bald and miserable so I decided not to take it. That dropped me to six months to live but at least for some of those six months, I wouldn't be sick. I would be able to enjoy what time I had left." Eddie glanced down and saw that Janet was visibly upset. "Hey sweetheart, it's just a dream, remember that."

"I know. I just hate thinking about you…about you dying."

"I am cancer free and I have no plans to die any time soon." He kissed the top of her head and continued his story.

"You were at your grandparents when all of this shit went down. When I came home from the hospital you were pulling an extra shift at Sully's because someone called off and because you are you, you worked. When you came home, we made love for the very first time and baby, it was amazing. It was everything that I thought that it would be. I mean, I have had good sex before but I never had amazing sex until that night with you." Janet giggled. "Think about it babe, if the sex was amazing in a dream, imagine what it's going to be like when we really do it." He raised his eyebrows suggestively and Janet burst out laughing.

"Oh my God. You are recovering from brain surgery and thinking about sex. What is wrong with you? Maybe they need to go back in and check out that brain of yours."

"I can't help it. When I'm with you all I can think about is sex."

"You're crazy, you know that, right?"

"Only for you Janet. Okay, so after we had that amazing sex, I totally ruined the mood and told you that I was dying."

"Jerk." She mumbled. "How did I take it?"

"You were pissed off at first because I didn't tell you before we made love. You thought it was selfish and tacky."

"It was. Did I kick your ass?"

"You probably wanted to but you didn't. Instead, you supported me. I came up with a list, you know a bucket list."

"A bucket list?"

"Yeah. It's a list of things to do before you die. I made my own list while I was in the hospital and I asked you to be with me and help me complete my list and you agreed."

"What kind of things were on your list?"

"Let's see, go to Vegas, go to D.C., white water rafting, have sex in an airplane, learn to surf, run the bases a Fenway park, get a tattoo, bungee jumped off a bridge and fly a plane."

"So in this dream of yours I helped you complete this bucket list of yours?"

"Every last thing."

"I am not a fan of heights so I know I wouldn't have jumped off no damn bridge. As for the tattoo, I have no desire to get a tattoo and lastly but most importantly I would never and I repeat, never ever have sex in a plane."

"You did all of those things and I gotta tell you, you enjoyed joining the mile high club babe."

"Obviously it was just a dream because I can't stress this enough, I wouldn't have sex in a plane."

"I think you did it because I was dying and you did it because you wanted to make me happy."

"That sounds like me." Janet agreed softly. "So what kind of tattoo did I get?"

"We both got the Chinese symbol of love on our wrists." At this point he was choosing to omit that their wedding date was also tattooed on their wrists. He didn't want to get too far ahead of himself.

"Now that sounds like me."

"It was your idea." Eddie paused in his story so he could kiss his sweet Janet. "I love you."

"I love you too." She mumbled, snuggling closer to him. "So was that your dream, you and I completing your list?"

"There is so much more baby."

"Then get talking."

"Yes ma'am." He answered with a grin. "The first thing we did was go to Las Vegas after having amazing sex of course was gamble and then we saw Wayne Newton. My parents met at a Wayne Newton concert so I grew up listening to him. You seemed to enjoy it but not as much as me." Janet smiled at that comment because it sounded so true. "After the concert we went for a walk and saw that water fountain show. You know what I'm talking about?"

"Yeah, I've heard of it."

"It was amazing but it could be the fact that I was with you that made it amazing."

"You are so sweet."

"After the show you then gave me the surprise of my life."

"What did I do?"

"You proposed to me."

"Excuse me? I did what?"

"You heard me babe. You asked me to marry you."

"Wow. What did you say?"

"I said no." He felt Janet stiffen next to him.

"Oh."

"Just remember Janet honey, this was just a dream. "

"I know but I guess it just stings a little to hear you say that you didn't want to marry me."

"In my dream, I did want to marry you, so damn much. What I didn't want to do was make you a widow. You convinced me that married or not when I died it was going to hurt you just the same. You also said that since you were helping me do the things that I wanted to do before I died so the least I could do was give you the only thing you had asked of me, which was to marry you."

"So did you?"

"Did I marry you? Yes sweetheart, I did marry you. Our friends and my family, even Phyz all came to our quaint little Vegas wedding."

"Please tell me that we didn't get married by some weirdo."

"Elvis married us." Eddie told her with a straight face. As a look of horror over her beautiful face and he started laughing. "I'm kidding sweetheart. We had a small, normal wedding in a chapel. It was perfect."

"Thank God." Janet said with a laugh. "So, where did we go on our honeymoon?"

"What makes you think that we actually went on a honeymoon?"

"Oh please Latekka, the way that you have been talking about sex, I know we must have had a honeymoon. And besides, as far as I can tell there are still some things on that list of yours that still haven't been completed yet."

"You are so smart which is one of the many reasons that I love you." He couldn't resist. he leaned forward and kissed her again, shocks of desire shooting through his body when she moaned into his mouth. "Janet." He groaned when they pulled apart.

"What's wrong baby?"

"You. You are so damn desirable and I want you so damn bad right now but I can't have you."

"Why can't you?" She purred, as she ran her fingernails over his chest, turning him on.

"Hospital…"Janet attached her lips to his neck and she began to kiss, nibble and suck softly. "Tumor…removed…ah…skull cut open…oh…Janet…headache…have take…easy." He sifted his position slightly and he slipped a hand under her top and cupped her breasts over her bra, rubbing his thumb over her pearled nipple.

"Eddie." Janet mumbled, arching into his hands.

"I can't." He reluctantly removed his hand from under her shirt. "We can't. Not here in the damn hospital."

"I'm sorry." Janet pulled her lips away from his neck and settled her head back on his chest. "So anyway, you were about to tell me about our honeymoon."

"Right, our dream honeymoon. We flew to West Virginia and went white water rafting and that's also where we bungee jumped."

"I still don't believe it." Eddie laughed.

"We ended our honeymoon in D.C. We spent a couple of days going through The Smithsonian museums. If they are half as good as they were in my dream then they must be freaking amazing. Have you ever been?" He asked, knowing good and well that she hadn't been. She quickly shook her head. "Well we should really go sometime."

"Yeah sure." He knew that she was thinking about her mother and he would tell her the role she played in his dream but not right now.

"From D.C. we flew back home into Boston. We were met at the airport by Nick, Owen, Phyz and Ikey. They kidnapped me to a water park for the day so I could learn to surf."

"You learned to surf at a water park?"

"I did. They have this surfing simulation thingy that I surfed on. I rocked it out."

"I'm sure you did baby."

"Actually, I kept falling on my ass but eventually I got it."

"Now that sounds more like it."

"I think that I should be insulted."

"Nah. We both know the truth and the truth is never insulting."

"The following day, Sully pulled a few strings and called in some favors and I got to fly a plane and run the bases at Fenway Park. It was freaking awesome. Remind me to talk to Sully when my life returns to normal."

"I will." Even though Eddie was not dying, she wanted him to complete everything on his dream list. He deserved to be happy and completing his list would make him happy.

"Before we actually headed home I had an appointment with Dr. Turner. During our trip to Vegas I got a really bad headache and ended up in the hospital. I had another MRI and it showed more tumors and the original ones were growing so I needed a follow up. During that appointment Dr. Turner told me about a new chemo pill that had great success with my type of cancer. It wouldn't cure it but it would temporarily stop the growing of the tumors and give me four to six more months but I refused to take them."

"Why on earth would you do that?"

"Because one side effect was erectile dysfunction."

"Are you serious? That is stupid."

"Yep. That's pretty much what you said in my dream. My reasoning was I enjoyed making love to you so much that I wasn't willing to give it up. Eventually you convinced me that I needed to take the medication so I could be around longer and it all worked out cause there was a medicine that I took that allowed junior to make an appearance."

"I'm glad you made the right choice."

"This next part of my dream is bittersweet so just bear with me okay?"

"Of course. I can't wait to hear what happens next." Eddie took a deep breath. "When we got home from the doctor's appointment you told me something, a life-changing something and I reacted really bad."

"What did I tell you?" Eddie linked his hand with hers.

"You told me that you were pregnant." He heard her gasp. "My god, when you told me I was so damn happy but at the same time I was furious and I let the fury take over and I reacted badly. I said really, really horrible things to you and you slapped the hell out of me before I stormed out."

"What did you say?" Janet whispered.

"I don't ever want you to know so I'm not going to tell you."

"Why were you so pissed off?"

"Because of the cancer. The only thing that I could think of was the fact that I wasn't going to be around to see my own child and that infuriated me. It wasn't fair and it scared the hell out of me."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sweetheart. It was all a dream and it worked out. I pulled my head out of my ass, begged for your forgiveness, which you gave to me after giving me quite a bit of hell, which I totally deserved, and it all worked out."

"So you were happy about the baby?"

"I was very happy about our child, our son."

"We had a son?"

"Jacob Edward." Janet felt tears fill her eyes.

"Were you…did you…did you meet our son?"

"I did. That pill they gave me was awesome but it wasn't all easy. The first couple of weeks that I took it, I got some of those shitty chemo side effects, the weakness and the vomiting. You tried to take care of me when I was puking my guts out but because of your pregnancy, you ended up puking right along with me so my mom had to come and take care of me, like she did when I was a kid. It did get pretty bad at one point, I was puking so much I ended up in the hospital because I was so dehydrated but after the first two weeks the puking stopped and I was pretty normal."

"So for a short time you were cured?"

"Yeah for a short time but when baby Jacob was six weeks old, things really started to go down hill. I started showing symptoms. At first my fingers started going numb which progressed to uncontrollable shaking in my hands. Seizures started showing up and I would have them over and over until my medication was changed and then I had one or two a day. Eventually, I started to have trouble walking and to the point where I couldn't walk at all. My brain couldn't tell my legs how to walk. Another thing my brain stopped doing was helping me talk. I would mix up words or I would now exactly what I wanted to say but I couldn't." He felt Janet's body shaking with silent cry. "Shhh baby. It was just a dream."

"Was I…was I there for you?" She asked as she tried to calm herself down.

"Until the very end. At the end I was in so much pain that I went into Hospice Care. They did what they could to keep me comfortable but it wasn't enough. I was miserable and you knew it. In this dream Janet, I saw an amazingly brave and selfless woman. As much as you wanted me to stay with you and Jacob, you let me go or gave me your blessing to die so, I wouldn't be in anymore pain. In my dream I was hanging on and waiting for your blessing because I couldn't leave you without it and once you gave it you sat by my side and held my hand as I died. Your voice was the last sound that I heard." Janet's cries were almost under control until he told her about his dream death and she started crying again. The thought of Eddie dying, was just too hard to think about. "Oh honey." Eddie gently crooned. He held her tightly and let her cry. Even a few tears fell from his eyes as well.

"I'm sorry Eddie." Janet sniffed. "I guess it was really hard to hear and picture you dying. I am so glad that it was all a dream."

"God Janet, you have no idea how true that and as bad as that dream was, it helped me realize something very important."

"What was that?"

"I realized that life is too damn short and can be taken away from us in an instant. Well, I guess I knew it but it never meant as much to me then as it does now. This tumor has given me a second chance at life Janet and I plan on not wasting one damn second of it, starting right now." Eddie reluctantly pulled his arm away from around Janet and reached into the drawer next to his bed and pulled out the ring his mom had brought to him. "Baby will you please sit up and look at me?"

"Eddie what is going on?" She asked as she sat up and turned her body to face him. Her eyes traveled down to the ring. "Eddie?" She whispered when he took her hand.

"I love you so much Janet. Our friendship over the years have meant so much to me but these past months that we have been dating have blown my mind. I never thought that I would feel for any woman what I feel for you. I want to spend the rest of my life, whether it's a day, a week, a month, a year or fifty years loving you." He pulled the ring out of the box and slid it onto her left ring finger, where it fit perfectly. "Janet Meadows, will you please marry me?" Janet finally took her eyes away from her hand and looked into his brown eyes and saw tears shinning in them.

"Eddie I don't know what to say."

"Say yes." He begged.

"We have only been dating for four months."

"We've been friends for years sweetheart. You know me better than anyone. I knew after our first date that I wanted to spend the rest of our life together."

"We need to really think about this Eddie. For all we know this is just a knee jerk reaction from having a major surgery during which you could have died."

"I have thought about this Janet. It's all I have thought about since I woke up from my damn coma. It's not a knee jerk reaction. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. Please Janet, marry me." A tear slipped from him eye.

"Are you sure that this…that I am what you want?" She was terrified that he was rushing into this proposal and he would change his mind after a few days.

"Yes Janet I am sure. I have never been more sure of anything. Being married to you, loving you everyday for the rest of my life is what I want." Another tear fell. "So what do you say honey? Will you become my wife?" As she looked into his eyes she knew that he wasn't going to change his mind.

"Yes Eddie. I will marry you."

"Thank you Janet. Thank you so much." His tears were freely falling at this point. "You have no idea how damn happy you have just made me." He slipped his arm around her neck, pulled her face close to his and he kissed her, pouring all of his love he felt for her into that kiss.

"Excuse me, sorry to interrupt." Eddie's nurse, Chrissy said and they newly engaged couple reluctantly pulled apart. "It's time for your medication."

"It's okay. I'm sure that there will be a lot more of that in the future." Eddie quipped.

"So I take it that she said yes?" Chrissy walked over and began to take Eddie's blood pressure.

"You told her?" A slightly embarrassed Janet gasped.

"Sweetheart, he told the whole floor." Chrissy answered and Janet glared at him.

"I was excited and yes she did say yes." He said proudly.

"Congratulations. Now hush a minute so I can check your blood pressure."

"Yes ma'am." While Chrissy did her job, Eddie and Janet looked into each other's eyes.

"Your heart rate is elevated Mr. Latekka."

"Does that surprise you? I'm very happy and excited right now."

"Can you sit up so I can check your wound?" Eddie did as she asked.

"Oww. Son of a bitch." He mumbled.

"I'm sorry Eddie." Chrissy said. "The area around the staples is red. I'm going to page your doctor."

"What's wrong?" Janet asked.

"I'm concerned that his incision may be infected. It's red, tender and warm to the touch. Open wide so I can check your temperature." Like a child, he opened his mouth and the thermometer was stuck in. Thirty seconds later Chrissy pulled it out. "You have a slight temp. 100.2"

"Is that bad?"

"If we caught it early enough it will be fine."

"Do you think you caught it early enough?" Janet whispered.

"I do." Chrissy handed Eddie his cup of pills. "Take your medicine and I will call Dr. Turner." He nodded and swallowed his pills. "Page me if you need anything before Dr. Turner gets here."

"Thanks." Eddie called to her as he settled back onto the bed, bringing Janet with him and seeing the worry in her eyes. "Hey don't worry babe. It's probably just a little infection. It's no big deal."

"It's an infection Eddie. It is a big deal."

"Nah. The doctor will probably give me some antibiotics and I'll be good as new. Now, tell me, do you like your ring?" Janet lifted her hand to her face and examined her engagement ring, the ring that she would be wearing for the rest of her life.

"I love it Eddie. It's beautiful. How on earth did you know my ring size?" He knew she was worried about him but she was trying not to be and he loved her for that.

"I don't know what your ring size is. This ring belonged to my grandparents who were married for fifty three years and when they died they passed their rings down to me. After my grandma died and I got her ring my grandpa told me that this ring can only go on the finger of the woman that I plan to spend the rest of my life with and I did just that."

"I just can't get over the fact that this ring fits me."

"I knew it would."

"Is this the same ring you gave me in your dream?" He nodded. "And it fit me in the dream too right?"

"You got it babe." At that moment Dr, Turner walked in.

"So Eddie, I hear you decided to get an infection."

"Yeah, nothing better to do."

"Let's have a look." Eddie pulled himself up and Dr. Turner removed the bandage that covered his stitches as gently as he could but Eddie still winced in pain. "All right young man, the infection doesn't look too bad and in normal circumstances I would give you oral antibiotics but because the infection is so close to your brain I don't want to take any chances of a microorganism sneaking in so I'm prescribing IV antibiotics. Any questions?"

"Nah. I'm good."

"All right then. Your nurse will be in shortly to set you up. I'll be back first thing in the morning to check on you."

"Thanks doc."

"Oh by the way, congrats on the engagement."

Ten minutes later Eddie's IV was up and the antibiotics were running through his veins. "So do you have any ideas on when you want to get married?" Janet asked him.

"Dr. Turner says I'll be released back to my normal life in six weeks." Janet bolted straight up.

"Six weeks? You want to get married in six weeks?" He grinned and nodded. "Sorry honey. It will be impossible to plan a wedding in six weeks. Why so soon?"

"I told you that I don't want to waste another minute of my life without being your husband."

"I get that but I don't know if I can put together a wedding with such short notice. If I'm lucky enough to find a church and reception hall that isn't booked it's going to cost an arm and a leg and I honestly don't have that kind of money Eddie."

"Janet, you are not paying for our wedding by yourself."

"I'm the bride and the bride is responsible for the wedding."

"Not in today's world honey. It's my wedding too so I'm helping with the costs."

"Eddie.."

"Don't even think about arguing with me because if you do it will be a waste of time because you won't win. Janet, we are in this relationship, engagement, marriage and eventually parenting together so you don't have to do it all on your own anymore okay?" She smiled at him and he knew he won that battle. "Do you want a big giant wedding?"

"No. I don't need that."

"I've been thinking and my parent's have a huge back yard. I know that they would let us have our wedding there. We would just have to rent some tables and chairs and maybe some tents if it rains. Kate can take the pictures and we would just have pay for what we develop. You have the connections babe when it comes to the alcohol. Sully thinks you walk on water and I know he would hook us up and as far as the food goes I'm sure we can find a good deal on a buffet thing. What do you think?"

"I love it." She answered tearfully. "But is it what you want?"

"You know me baby. I am not a hoity-toity kind of guy. I don't need all of that fancy stuff so a casual backyard wedding is my idea of a perfect wedding." Janet couldn't resist. She leaned over and kissed him until they were both breathless.

"I have so much work to do but I'm not ready to leave your side."

"Then don't." He whispered huskily as he lowered his face and kissed her again. "I love you." He moaned when they broke apart to catch their breath before capturing her lips again.

After a decent make out session they finally came up for air and settled back into each other's arms, breathing heavily. "Now would probably be the perfect time to bring up another decision that I have made."

"Oh really?"

"Yep. I have decided that I am not having sex with you for six weeks, not until our wedding night."

"What? You have got to be kidding me."

"I'm not. Think of this unique situation that we are in right now Janet. Not many people wait anymore to have sex until they are married. We've only got six weeks which isn't that long. Hell, we've already waited four months what's another six weeks?" Janet just rolled her eyes. "Since that logic isn't working for you then here is some more. Once I am released from this joint I'm going to be staying at my parents so mom can do the mom thing and take care of me so sex at the parental homestead is out. Dr. Turner said that my head is going to be hurting for at least another month until the staples come out and having a sore head isn't exactly conducive to sex. By the time the staples come out we'll only have two weeks so what do you say? Can you wait until our wedding night to make love?"

"What if…what happens if…"

"I know what's running through your mind and don't think it. I have proof via my dream that we will have amazing sex."

"It was just a dream Eddie. You can't possibly know that."

"I know that I am in love with you and sex with someone you love cannot be bad."

"But what if…you haven't seen me naked."

"Believe me, I know that and it's killing me that I haven't. Don't fear my sweet girl. When our wedding night comes around and I see you naked it will only make you more beautiful in my eyes." He kissed her head. He knew that she had a poor self body image but with him, she had nothing to worry about. To him, she was the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on and nothing would ever change that.

"Any way I can talk you into a pre wedding tumble?" Janet had never felt more secure in her relationship with Eddie as she did right now. His words and the way his eyes were filled with love and adoration every time he looked at her gave her that confidence.

"Nope."

"We'll see about that." She began to trace circles on his upper thigh.

"You are a cruel, cruel woman." He removed her hand and linked it with his.

"I'll let it rest for now. Besides, we have something else to talk about."

"What would that be?"

"Our living situation. We both own our own houses so what do we do about that?" Eddie had thought this one out as well.

"If it's okay with you, I would like to move in with you."

"It's more than okay but what about your house and Phil?"

"Well Katie is moving back home so I was thinking that she could take over my room. Pizza Girl has practically moved in there with Phil so she will have female companionship and they all can pay me rent until either Phil can move out or he decides to buy the house."

"It looks like you have thought of everything my love."

"I try."

Eddie and Janet spent the rest of the night planning their wedding and making phone calls. Everyone they talked to was so excited for them. Eddie's parents were totally agreeable to having the wedding in their backyard. Katie was thrilled to be taking the pictures and Phil even told Eddie that he was going to try to make it out of the house for the wedding and Eddie was touched. Everything was working out perfectly for the happy couple.

* * *

"Are you tired babe?" Janet asked when she saw Eddie tried to hide a yawn.

"I'm fine."

"Liar." Janet pulled herself out of Eddie's loving embrace. "I'll go home so you can get some sleep."

"No." He groaned pulling back down onto the bed. "Stay."

"You need to sleep baby."

"I will, with you in my arms. Stay the night with me."

"I cannot stay here Eddie."

"Yes you can. I already asked." Janet sighed and shook her head.

"You are unbelievable."

"I know. Now come on, get comfy." Janet lay back down on her side with her head on his chest. Eddie settled back on his bed and wrapped his arm around his fiancé. "Can I talk to about something, rather sensitive?"

"Depends on what it is." Janet responded.

"Your mother."

"Nope. There is nothing to talk about."

"Then just hear me out okay?" When she didn't respond Eddie took that as permission to continue. "Your mom was in my dream. You guys finally talked things out and ended up having a relationship. Your mother was there for you, helped you with the baby and me when I was dying."

"It was just a dream Eddie." Janet snapped.

"And so far everything in my dream is coming true. All I'm suggesting is that you give her a call and talk."

"I've got nothing to say to her."

"Yes you do Janet. You have a lot to say to her. God Janet, look how close I came to dying. What if something happens to your mom and you never make amends? How will you feel then honey?"

"You don't know what you are talking about."

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I just want you to be happy and I think having a relationship with her again will make you happy even if you don't." She didn't respond. "I'm sorry that I pissed you off honey. I'm not going to say anything else about your mom unless you bring it up. All I'm asking is that you think about it and if you come to a decision, whatever it is you will have my support."

"You should sleep Eddie."

"Don't be mad honey."

"I'm not. I'm thinking because you have given me a lot to think about." Janet quickly kissed him. "Now sleep. I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart."

* * *

Janet had no idea how long that she had been sleeping on Eddie's chest before she woke up. The first thing she noticed was the dampness on her cheek. Laying her hand on his chest she found that his hospital gown was soaked through with sweat. She quickly removed her hand from his chest and placed it on his forehead. He was on fire. "Eddie." Janet gently shook his shoulder but all he did was groan. She climbed out of bed and pushed his call button. While she waited for the nurse Janet went into the bathroom and wet down a washcloth with cold water to place on his head.

"Janet what's going on?" Eddie's night nurse, Tara asked.

"He's got a fever. It's so high that he is sweating." Janet explained. Tara hit the intercom and asked another nurse to have Dr. Turner paged and then she got to work while Janet stood helplessly off to the side while Tara checked his temperature, blood pressure, and his incision. Five minutes later the phone in Eddie's room rang and Tara grabbed it.

"Hi Dr. Turner. I am with Eddie Latekka. He has a fever of 103.2. BP is 142/90, Pulse 98 and his incision is draining yellow pus. Okay. Yes sir I understand. Thank you" Tara hung up and rushed out of the room so Janet returned to Eddie's side.

"Eddie, sweetheart, are you awake?" His eyes fluttered opened and he groaned.

"What's wrong? I feel like shit."

"I think your infection is getting worse. You are running a really high fever but you are going to be fine." Just then Tara and two orderlies walked into the room. "What's going on?" She asked.

"The first antibiotic isn't working so Dr. Turner wants him moved to ICU so he can be closely monitored. We're changing the antibiotic, giving him a really strong one."

"Can't you monitor him here? Why does he have to be in ICU?"

"Dr. Turner has concern about the infection traveling to his brain so he needs to be watched very closely. It's just a precaution."

"Can I go with him? I promised him I wouldn't leave." She didn't mention that she made the promise a week ago. It didn't matter. She had to be there for him.

"Yes, that will be fine."

"Janet what's happening?" Eddie asked when the orderlies began to move his bed.

"They are moving you to another room."

"Don't leave me." He begged tearfully.

"I'm not. I'll be right behind you."

Eddie was quickly taken to the ICU with Janet following every step of the way. While they set him up she used the phone at the nurses' station to call Jack and Laura and update them. Laura spoke with a nurse who assured her that everything was being done for Eddie and he would most likely recover.

As soon as she was able Janet went into his room, pulled a chair up next to his, grabbed his hand and began her vigil at Eddie's bedside. Six hours later as the sun rose in the sky Eddie opened his eyes and smiled at his beautiful fiancé who looked exhausted. "Hey gorgeous." He mumbles weakly. That fever took a hell of a lot out of him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I have just got my ass kicked."

"You scared the hell out of me but you are doing much better. They just checked your temperature twenty minutes ago and your fever is 99. You're going to be fine."

"Thanks for not leaving me."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else."


	22. Chapter 22

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Does it hurt?" Eddie asked softly as he watched Janet run her finger over her newly acquired tattoo, the Chinese symbol for love, located on her left wrist. Even though they weren't married yet Eddie convinced her to have the date if their upcoming wedding tattooed underneath the symbol.

"No. I just can't believe that I actually let you talk me into it."

"I can be pretty persuasive when I want to be." He told her with a cocky grin. Janet lifted her face and Eddie gave her what she wanted, a kiss.

"What about you? Does yours hurt?" Just like in his dream, he got an identical tattoo on his left wrist.

"It's all good baby." Janet settled her head onto Eddie's chest and fidgeted nervously in her seat.

"She's going to lose it when she sees this. She hates tattoos." Janet said nervously.

"She may be your mother Janet but you are an adult and if you want to get a tattoo then you are allowed to get a tattoo."

"God, I hate waiting." Eddie grinned. Janet is the most patient person he knows and if she had to wait ten hours for something, she would do it and not complain. She's just nervous because her mother is flying in.

True to his word, Eddie never brought up the subject of her mother to her again. He knew she needed to work out the issues with her mother on her own and he was not surprised when she told him one night that she called her mother. They had spent over an hour on the phone, catching up on each other's lives and three days later, Janet received a check in the mail to put towards the wedding and honeymoon. Janet called her mother to thank her for the money and they spent another couple of hours talking and this time, they talked about their problems and began to repair their relationship. Since those first two conversations Janet and Sharon had shared a phone call every day and finally Janet asked her mother to come to town before the wedding so they could visit. Sharon eagerly agreed and that's how Eddie and Janet ended up at the airport.

"What about if she doesn't like you?" Janet whispered fearfully.

"Oh Janet, everybody likes me." She glared at him. "Shouldn't I be the one worried that she won't like me?" She didn't even crack a smile. "Don't worry sweetheart. Even if your mom hates me, as long as you're happy then she'll be happy for you "

"I…I just want everything to be perfect. You are the most important person in my life and mom and I are finally starting to be good again and if she doesn't…"

"Quit worrying. Everything will be fine."

"Promise?" Just then, they heard the announcement announcing the arrival of Sharon's flight.

"Yeah sweetheart. I promise." Eddie stood and pulled Janet to her feet. "Let's go greet your mom." They walked over to the arrivals gate and waited for the passengers to disembark from the plane. Janet was clutching Eddie's hand so tightly that he was beginning to lose the circulation in his hand but he didn't complain.

"There she is."

"Are we just going to stand here or are we going to move?" Instead of answering, she began to walk to her mother, dragging Eddie along with her.

"This is it." She whispered, and then she raised her arm to wave. "Mom. Over here." Eddie saw a smile spread across Sharon's face and Eddie recognized it immediately. It was the same smile he saw on Janet's face. When Janet and Sharon finally came together, Janet released Eddie's hand and the two women embraced.

"Janet, you are positively glowing. Are you pregnant?" Eddie had to laugh when Sharon asked Janet that question. In his dream, when she asked that question Janet was pregnant but didn't know it. This time, the answer to the question was definite since they haven't slept together.

"No mom. I'm not pregnant. I'm just very happy." Janet reached out for Eddie and pulled him close to her. "And he is the reason why I'm so happy. Mom I'd like you to meet my fiancé, Eddie Latekka."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Meadows." Using the hand that Janet was clutching, he shook her hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well." She responded with a smile.

"Come on; let's get your luggage so we can get out of here." He suggested and the woman agreed. "So I hope you're hungry. Janet and I made reservations at a nice restaurant outside of Boston."

"That sounds good. I am starved and it will give me chance to get to know you."

"It's not too late. If you want to make a run for it, I'll cover for you." Janet whispered.

"Nah. I got this under control." He told her before he stole a quick kiss from her.

"Are you feeling okay Eddie?" Sharon asked as they enjoyed a nice dinner.

"I'm really good. I got the staples out of my skull last week and I've hardly had any headaches since. I'll be released to my normal life at the end of the week."

"That's wonderful."

"I've been given a second chance at life and I'm not wasting one minute of it."

"So Janet tells me that you own a company?"

"Yes ma'am. My best friend and I own a window company."

"A window company?"

"We specialize in installing windows, doors and floors but mainly, windows."

"And is this business lucrative? Will you be able to support my daughter and any children that you may have in the future?"

"Mom!" Janet gasped.

"What? I have every right to know if you will be taken care of."

"Your mom is right Janet. She does have every right to know that I'm going to take of you."

"I am a grown woman who doesn't need a man to take care of me."

"We both know that sweetheart." He smiled at her and she couldn't resist smiling back. "To answer your question Sharon, I am able to take of Janet and any children that we may have if she'll let me."

"That is an acceptable answer." Janet said.

"I agree. That is an acceptable answer." Sharon added. Before the conversation could continue the waiter came and set the check on the table and Eddie and Sharon both reached for it.

"I got this." Eddie said.

"No. Let me."

"No really. I got this."

"No really. Let me get this. Consider it an engagement gift." Eddie was standing firm. "Please Eddie. Allow me."

"She can be very stubborn Eddie."

"Now I know where you get it from." He commented as he released the check.

"Is that an insult or a compliment?" Janet asked in mock outrage.

"It's a compliment baby, all the way."

"It better be." The happy couple stared into each other's eyes until Sharon discreetly coughed, reminding them of her presence.

"Is the Johnson Inn still in business?" Eddie and Janet both nodded. "I remember that being a very nice establishment."

"It is mom. Why?"

"I figured that is where I will stay. I didn't make a reservation but I'm sure The Ridge hasn't changed that much over the years that it would be booked."

"I was planning on you staying with me."

"I don't want to intrude on you two."

"You won't be. Eddie isn't living with me yet. Most of his stuff is there but he won't be moving in until after the wedding."

"Why?" Sharon was shocked. She just assumed that the couple was living together.

"After my surgery I needed constant supervision so I have been staying with my parents and my mom has been doing what she does best; fussing over me. I get clearance on Friday and the wedding is on Saturday so that's when I'll move in."

"Please mom, stay with me."

"If that's what you want."

"It is." The waiter came and took the check.

"Then it's settled."

"Thank you mom."

"So where are you two going on your honeymoon?" Eddie and Janet shared a guilty look.

"Well we're not actually going on a honeymoon right away. Even though we are having a casual wedding it's costing us a little bit more than we anticipated, probably because of the short notice."

"So why rush?"

"We don't want to spend any more time not being married." Eddie answered.

"It's not that we can't afford the wedding because we can. The money you sent has been very helpful but we didn't think about Eddie's medical bills. His insurance didn't cover everything so we are paying those and because Eddie hasn't been able to work for almost two months has also put a financial strain on us. Eddie has a credit card that we could use but we don't need that extra large bill. Once Eddie gets back to work things will get better and then we'll take a long weekend." Janet explained and Sharon's heart almost burst with pride. Janet was willing to give up her honeymoon because of her husband's medical bills.

"That sounds like the most logical solution."

"It is. We don't need a honeymoon. We're together and that's what is most important." Eddie nodded in agreement but it still irritated him that they weren't taking a honeymoon.

When Janet first brought up the possibility of not going on the honeymoon Eddie balked. They both deserved a honeymoon, Janet more than Eddie. He had practically been on a vacation since he had been in bed recovering from surgery but Janet deserved this more than him. Spending all of that time at the hospital while he was in his coma and during his infection and since he got home from the hospital she has been pulling tons of extra shifts to pay for their wedding and when she weren't working she was at his parents house, helping Laura take care of him. She needed a break. It was the only fight that they had gotten into since they had been together. They yelled and screamed at each other, but Eddie finally relented and agreed to forgo the honeymoon. He had to admit that Janet brought up some really good points that he couldn't argue with but it still tweaked his manly ego, that because of some giant freaking tumor he couldn't afford to take his bride on a honeymoon.

They left the restaurant and drove home in comfortable conversation. Since Eddie hasn't been cleared to drive yet, that would happen the day before the wedding, Sharon insisted that Janet drop her off so she could take Eddie home and have a little privacy and Janet couldn't argue with that.

"My parents and sister aren't home. Would you like to come in? We'll be totally alone." Janet burst out laughing.

"You sound like a horny teenager instead of the thirty year old horny man that you are."

"You have no idea how horny I am. Come on." They both got out of the jeep and went in the house, straight to Eddie's room, falling into his bed.

"The hornieness is your fault. You're the one who decided to wait until we are married to have sex." Janet told him as he slipped his hand under her shirt to cup her breast.

"I was wrong. So wrong." He said. His lips fell onto her neck and he began to nuzzle, causing her to moan softly. His lips felt so good on her neck, her lips, hell his lips felt wonderful on any part of her body. "I just had brain surgery. Why in the hell did you listen to me?" He mumbled into her neck.

"I tried to talk you out of it but you wouldn't listen to me." With his free hand he trailed it down to the button on her pants and he slowly unbuttoned them. Janet's brain finally caught up with her when she felt him begin to pull the zipper down. She quickly removed his hand.

"Janet." He whined.

"Sorry baby. This waiting was you're idea."

"A guy is entitled to change his mind."

"Six more days Eddie. You can wait six more days." Janet gently pushed Eddie off of her and sat up, attempting to remove temptation.

"I don't think so." Eddie was not giving up. He ran his hand up her thigh, to the center of her pants where he could feel the heat radiating. He knew he wanted it as much as he did. "Every time I think of you I get hard so to say the least, I've had a constant hard on." Janet blushed and became more turned on then ever but she removed his hand.

"Our first time will not be in your childhood bedroom with the possibility of your parents or Katie walking in on us at any time."

"They could be gone for awhile."

"Eddie my mom is waiting for me at my house. I need to go."

"Can I at least get a kiss before you go?"

"I think that can be arranged." Eddie sat up and eagerly pressed his lips to Janet's while he pushed her back on the bed. Knowing that this kiss was only a kiss that wouldn't progress to anything further he placed a hand on her check and gently caressed it as his tongue caressed the inside of her mouth. "I gotta go." Janet groaned when they finally broke apart to breathe.

"I know." He mumbled as he began to kiss her again. Even though she knew that she had to leave she was enjoying kissing him way too much to stop.

She has no idea how much longer they kissed, time always flew when they kissed but eventually Janet pulled apart, got out of bed and straightened her clothes. "Walk me to my car?"

"Absolutely." Eddie pulled himself out of bed, adjusted his pants so he could walk with some comfort. Holding hands, Eddie walked his fiancé to her jeep. "My god, Janet I love you so much." He whispered before he kissed her.

"I love you too." She whispered when they pulled apart. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." Eddie stood in the driveway until he could no longer see Janet's taillights and then with a sigh, he returned to his bedroom, knowing that his hand was going to be his best friend…again.

* * *

"You're really happy aren't you sweetheart?" Sharon asked while she and Janet sat on the couch drinking decaf coffee.

"I've never been happier. Eddie is my everything. Every time we talk, kiss or every time he looks at me, I can see how much he loves me and I feel the same. I never thought I would feel this way about another man, especially Eddie Latekka."

"Why especially Eddie?"

"Because he is Eddie Latekka mom. He was the popular quarterback who dated the head cheerleader all through high school. He wasn't the type of cool guy that ignored all of the people that weren't cool. He was nice enough. Senior year he was my chemistry partner. God I loved chemistry that year."

"I remember how you spent more time then ever getting ready for school."

"Yep. Because I was going to see Eddie. He was always nice enough and when he saw me in the halls between classes he always said hi but I never thought in a million years that I would be marrying him in six days."

"Why didn't you think that you could end up marrying the quarterback?" Sharon inquired.

"Umm hello? Eddie- cool football player." Janet then motioned to herself. "Me, not a cheerleader."

"Oh sweetheart."

"Eddie changed. He is no longer the same superficial guy he once was. He loves me even though I'm not like the skinny girls he once dated. He thinks that I'm beautiful even though I'm not skinny. I am not even nervous about him seeing me naked for the first time."

"The first time? You two haven't slept together yet?" A shocked Sharon asked. It wasn't that she thought that her daughter was a slut but she knew that the couple had been together for awhile and she just assumed that they slept together.

"We had plans to. Eddie was going with me to see Grams and Gramps but he had to stay home and help his dad deal with a broken water pipe. That was the night that he ended up in the hospital and his tumor was diagnosed. Once we got engaged and decided on the quick wedding we decided to wait or he decided and I agreed. Now he is regretting it but I'm sticking to it." Janet told her mother with a wicked grin.

"I am so happy for you. I can tell that he adores you. He reminds me a bit of your father."

"I thought so too. I think daddy would have really liked Eddie. Do you?" Sharon had to blink back her tears.

"I do. All your dad wanted for you in life was to be happy and to be loved by a wonderful man. You found that so I know that your father is smiling down from heaven."

"I miss him. I wish he was here."

"So do I." Sharon cleared her throat. "I made some calls when you were dropping Eddie off and I have something for you."

"Mom, you didn't have to do anything. You already sent me money."

"That was your money, money that your father and I saved for you. I have a friend who owns a cabin in upstate New York. It's a truly beautiful cabin. There are lots of things to do, hiking, exploring caves, golf, horseback riding and it's only an hour away from the city so you guys can go and catch a show or see the sights. It belongs to you and Eddie for a week beginning on Sunday."

"Mom I…we can't accept it."

"It's my gift to my daughter and future son in law."

"This must have cost a fortune."

"No. It's my friend's cabin. I'm not paying anything for it. I also cashed in some of my frequent flier miles and you and Eddie have first class seats and they are non-refundable so you have to go."

"I don't know what to say. Thank you so much." Janet said tearfully and then hugged her mother.

"You're welcome honey. Tom is having the refrigerator stocked for you and he is having a car taken to the airport that you guys can use. I've been there a few times and it truly is gorgeous."

"He must be a really good friend if he is doing this for someone he has never met before." When Sharon didn't answer Janet had a revelation. "Oh my God mom, you're dating him aren't you?"

"I…uh…yes I am."

"I want to meet him. Call and invite him to the wedding."

"No. It's your day honey."

"Mom, please invite him. Eddie and I need to personally thank him. Call him."

"Are you sure?"

"If you don't call him your frequent flier miles will go to waste." Janet threatened.

"Fine. You win."

"I usually do. Call Tom and I'll call Eddie." Janet kissed her mom goodnight and they each went to their respective rooms.

Once Janet was changed into her pajamas she called Eddie to inform him about their honeymoon. She was so excited and she couldn't wait to hear his response. "Hey baby." He greeted into the phone. "Miss me?"

"Guess what?"

"So you don't miss me?"

"Yes I miss you. Guess what?"

"What dear?"

"My mom just gave us a honeymoon."

"Huh?"

"This guy that she has been seeing has a cabin in upstate New York and he is letting us have his cabin for a week, free of charge."

"Are you kidding me?" Eddie was shocked at the generosity of a stranger.

"No. I'm dead serious. Mom has also cashed in some frequent flier miles and purchased two first class tickets for us."

"I'm actually speechless." Eddie mumbled.

"Can you believe it?"

"I am so…this is awesome. I am glad that we get to go on a honeymoon because I was feeling like a real ass that because of me you couldn't have the honeymoon that you deserve."

"Eddie, for the hundredth time, it is not your fault. We could have gone, charged it to our credit cards then our monthly payments would have gone up and we probably would struggle financially for awhile. I don't want to start our marriage out struggling for money, working like crazy to get extra money and never seeing each other. It's not worth it."

"You're right Janet but I still feel like an ass."

"Well stop it. It all worked out and we are going on a honeymoon."

"It really did work out." He mused.

"Thank you." She whispered softly.

"You're welcome but for what?"

"Things between my mom and I are going so well. If it wasn't for you then I wouldn't have called her and she wouldn't be here and I am so glad that she is here to share the most important day of my life so thank you Eddie. Thank you for pushing but not pushing me at the same time." Eddie could hear the tears in her voice and he wished that he was with her so he could hold her.

"You did it baby. I just made the suggestion."

"And I am so damn glad you did. Thank you."

"You are very welcome. I love you and I want you to be happy."

"I am. I have never been happier and it's because of you. I love you."

* * *

Over the five days prior to their wedding Eddie and Janet found themselves busy. Eddie had returned to work but in a paperwork only setting. He hated paperwork but he hated sitting around doing nothing and feeling worthless so paperwork it was. When he wasn't working he was with Janet, either hanging out at Sully's while she worked or they were either at his parents or her house working on wedding details. Unlike most men he knew, he actually wanted and enjoyed participating in the planning of his wedding.

Meanwhile Janet spent her time either working or finalizing wedding plans. She managed to squeeze into her schedule time to go shopping for a dress, something rather important that she needed. She took an afternoon with her mom, Laura, Katie and Hannah and they went shopping. She wasn't looking for anything fancy and it didn't necessarily have to be white. Eddie was wearing a pair of dress pants and dress shirt so she didn't want to be overly dressed when standing next to her groom. After going to four stores Janet found a simple but elegant white and blue dress. She looked beautiful in it.

She was trying her hardest not to become a bridzellla but by Thursday, she was exhausted, frustrated and the littlest things were irritating her but she had to hand it to her fiancé. He was patient and understanding with her and never got angry with her. She figured that she was short on patience because the only time she was ever alone was when she was sleeping and she missed her alone time with Eddie. The biggest relief came when Eddie was cleared by Dr. Turner on Friday. There was no sign of any tumors or cancer cells. He was free to return to a normal life.

The night before the wedding their friends took them out to Sully's for a night of fun and drinking; a bachelor/bachelorette party. There was food, alcoholic beverages, singing, dancing and lots of fun to be had. Eddie and Janet participated in the festivities but not to the extreme. Honestly, neither of them wanted to be hung over on their wedding day. About eleven Eddie suggested that he and Janet sneak out of there for a little bit of alone time and Janet eagerly agreed.

He surprised her by driving to the lake, like on their first date. Eddie pulled into the empty parking lot, turned off his truck, pulled Janet into his arms and thus began a make out session that lasted for about thirty minutes. They couldn't get enough of each other. The second Eddie pressed his lips to Janet's she felt all of the stress from the past week leave her body. "Walk with me." Eddie requested during one of the breaks they took to breathe.

"Okay." Janet waited in the truck, something that made her feel awkward but Eddie loved being the gentleman and opening her door. Once she was out of the truck they walked, hand in hand down to the dock. "Remember our first date?" Janet whispered softly when they arrived at their destination.

"I do and that's why I brought you here tonight. I've told you this before but I knew, that night sitting out here on the dock that I was going to marry you and tomorrow its happening." Tears of happiness filled Janet's eyes. "Tomorrow we are just saying the normal, traditional vows so tonight, if it's okay with you, I want to say my own vows just between you and I. Is that okay?"

"It's perfect." Janet was blown away by this loving act of tenderness.

"Okay. Janet I love you. Before you came into my life I thought that I loved before but I realize that I never had. You are the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing on my mind when I fall asleep. I now know that I was born to love and take care of you. I promise you, in front of God that I am going to spend the rest of my life loving you with my entire heart. I promise that I am going to make you a very happy woman. I promise to laugh and cry with you. I promise that I will never be unfaithful to you and finally I promise to cherish your heart like it is the most precious gem in the world. I love you, more than I can ever show you but I will never stop trying." Janet had never felt more loved in her life then she did right then. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Thank you for that Eddie. Those have to be the sweetest words that I have ever heard." She told him when they broke apart.

"I meant every word."

"I know. Now you obviously had time to prepare and I have not so I'm going to speak from my heart. I have never felt more loved then I do right now. I just hope that I make you feel just as loved as you had made me feel. You are the most wonderful amazing man and I am so lucky to have you in my life. I promise you, in front of God that I am going to love you with everything that I have. I promise that I am going to make you a very happy man. I also promise to laugh and cry with you but I'm hoping for a laugh full of laughter and few tears. I promise that I will always be faithful to you. You will always be the one and only man for me. I promise to be a good mother to our children and I promise to be a loving, understand wife. I promise that I am going to love and cherish you for the rest of my life." Now it was Eddie who had tears streaming down his face. The couple wrapped their arms around each other and shared a tender kiss.

* * *

The day of Janet and Eddie's wedding dawned cloudy and rainy but that did not put a damper on the mood of the bride and groom. They were prepared for the rain and Jack and Laura's backyard was covered with tents. Eddie and Janet weren't worried about superstitions so Janet was at her future in-laws early in the morning, wearing sweats, and a tee-shirt with her hair pulled up on top of her head so she could help with the final touches.

An hour before the party was supposed to get started Janet, Katie, Sharon, Laura and Hannah went to Katie's room to help the bride dress. The girls insisted that Janet follow one tradition; something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. Her engagement ring counted as something old, her dress was new, she borrowed her mother's pearl earrings and Hannah put blue flowers in her hair. Ten minutes before the guests were due to arrive, Janet and Eddie met in his room for a little alone time. "Wow. You look amazing." Eddie gushed when Janet walked in and she blushed.

"Thank you. You clean up pretty well yourself." Eddie did look very handsome.

"I feel like a dork in this damn hat." He still had a slight bald spot in the middle of his head because of his surgery. Around his family, close friends and Janet, he was comfortable without the baseball hat but when he was out in public he always wore a hat, something he never really did before.

"I thought you might so I have a gift for you." Janet stepped out into the hall and handed him a box.

"Hmm. Wonder what this is?" Eddie slowly opened the box and a huge grin crossed his face as he pulled out the fedora hat that she had bought him. "Oh my God. This is freaking awesome." Eddie put the hat on and then went to the mirror to adjust it with a huge smile. "What do you think?" He asked turning around to face Janet.

"You look really hot." Eddie took two large steps, lifted Janet into the air and twirled her around the room while kissing her.

"You are truly the best."

"I'm so glad you like it."

"I freaking love it and I love you. I am going to keep wearing it even when my hair grows back." There was a knock on the door.

"Sweetheart. The guests are starting to arrive." Laura called from the other side.

"Are you ready to do this?" Eddie asked with a sparkle in his eyes.

"Am I ready to become your wife? Hell yeah I'm ready. Let's go." She grabbed his hand and together, they walked outside.

The afternoon was wonderful. It rained off and on but it didn't darken the mood. It seemed like every resident of Knights Ridge was in the Latekka backyard. On the invitation Eddie and Janet requested no gifts but either the residents of their town were illiterate or they chose to ignore the request because there were tons of gifts. Eddie and Janet spent just as much time together as they did apart, hanging with family and friends. Katie fluttered about taking tons of pictures while Ikey followed her around like a lost puppy. One picture that was taken that Eddie will treasure was a picture of him and his best friends, including Physical Phil. Since the announcement of the wedding, Phil had been working on coming out of the house and he succeeded. He wasn't out among all of the guests; that was still too much for him so he was hanging out in the kitchen with a view of all of the festivities. He came outside a few times, with his friends surrounding him, making him feel comfortable, if only for a short period of time.

"I'm going to go check out my mom's special friend. Wanna join me?" Janet asked Eddie.

"Absolutely." It took them about fifteen minutes to get over to Sharon and Tom because everyone kept stopping and congratulating them.

"Hey mom."

"Hello sweetheart. Hello Eddie. Are you two kids having fun?"

"The time of my life." Janet answered and Eddie leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Think you're having the time of your life now, just wait until tonight." Janet immediately blushed and she reacted by hitting him in his chest.

"What about you two kids? Are you enjoying yourselves?"

"Yes we are. Janet, Eddie, I would like for you to meet my friend Tom. Tom, my daughter Janet and my son in law Eddie."

"It's a pleasure to meet you sir." Eddie said holding out his hand. Tom took it and the two men shook hands. "Thank you so much for letting us use your cabin for the week. I can't tell you how grateful we are."

"It's not a big deal. It's just sitting there empty right now so I'm glad that you guys are going to put it to good use." Tom told them.

"Well thank you." Eddie replied.

"Janet I am so glad to meet you. I have heard many wonderful things about you."

"Thank you for coming and sharing our day with us. I hope that we get to see a lot more of each other." Janet meant every word. Her mother was very happy and it had been a very long time since Janet had seen that and she knew Tom was the reason.

"I hope that as well Janet."

"Sorry to interrupt you but we've got a break in the rain." Laura said.

"You know what that means sweetheart?" Eddie asked.

"Let's do it."

As they settled themselves on the deck, Eddie reminded his sister not to take any pictures of them from the back because he was taking his hat off and he didn't any pictures of his bald spot. Ikey was squatting in front of them, holding a microphone that was attached to a karaoke machine up to them so everyone could hear them.

The crowd grew quiet as Laura's minister began to speak. Eddie and Janet stood facing each other, holding hands while they stared into each other's eyes. Within five minutes, they were exchanging vows, then rings and then they were pronounced husband and wife. Before it was announced that Eddie could kiss his bride his lips were on Janet's and they were sharing a hungry kiss while every one clapped and cheered. Once Eddie finally managed to pull himself away from his wife he pulled her to his chest and hugged her tightly.

"By the way I had our rings engraved." He whispered in her ear. Janet pulled away and took the band off that was just placed on her left ring finger.

"Forever?" She whispered tearfully.

"How does that sound?" He asked.

"I think I can manage forever with you." Tears were falling from Janet's eyes as she lifted her face and they shared another kiss.

**Next chapter…honeymoon**


	23. Chapter 23

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Welcome home." Janet said when Eddie pulled into Janet's driveway or now since they were married it was their driveway. They had decided to spend their first night as a married couple in their home.

"It's good to be home with you." With a childlike grin of excitement he quickly got out of his truck. Janet didn't even try to get out of the truck because Eddie always insisted on opening her door. A minute later her door was open and he was holding out his hand. "Shall we?" With a shy grin Janet linked her hand with his and Eddie led his wife up to the house.

The second that Eddie closed the front door behind him, he grabbed his wife and he kissed her hard. Janet dropped her purse on the floor, wrapped her arms around his neck and tried not to fall as they attempted to get to the bedroom. "Umph." Janet grunted when her back hit a wall.

"Sorry." Eddie mumbled but neither of them made any attempt to move away from the wall. Keeping his lips attached to his wife's he removed his hands from her body long enough to unzip and push his pants to the floor. In an instant he was lifting her leg up, pushing her underwear to the side and stroking inside of her. "Son of a bitch." He grunted. "So tight. Feels so good." Janet could only moan in response. Eddie wanted their first time together to be something magical but it wasn't going to happen. His desire for her proved to be too much for him. He couldn't even wait until they were in their room. As soon as they were alone, and their bodies touch he lost all physical control of his body. He wanted to pull out, take her to the bedroom and lavish her in foreplay but he couldn't stop thrusting into heaven. "Oh God…Janet…I'm…"With one final thrust he was spilling inside of her. Once he stopped convulsing Janet lifted her face to his and kissed him softly.

"I am so sorry sweetheart." He whispered tearfully when they broke apart.

"Eddie it's okay." She knew what he was apologizing for.

"No baby it's not. You didn't even cum."

"The night isn't over yet."

"This isn't how I wanted our first time to be."

"I know that."

"It's your damn fault."

"It wasn't my idea to wait until our wedding night." She taunted.

"True but if you weren't so freaking beautiful then I may have been able to get us to a bed. From the second we got into the truck I got hard in anticipation of what was going to happen. The entire ride home you kept kissing my neck and running your fingernails up and down my thighs and I just kept getting harder. Hell baby, I almost came in pants twice before we got home but it's no excuse for not giving you the perfect night that you deserve."

"Oh for crying out loud Eddie, you've got nothing to feel sorry about. So far my night has been perfect but it's not going to stay that way if you don't take me in the bedroom and make love to me now."

"I can do that." He pulled out of Janet, kicked out of his pants and shoes, took Janet's hand and together they walked to their bedroom, Janet ogling his ass the entire way. As soon as they entered the room Janet pulled her hand from him. "Where do you think you are going?"

"I got some special lingerie."

"As much as I want to see you in that special lingerie there really is no reason to put it on."

"Why not?" Janet slipped her shoes off her feet.

"Cause I'm just going to take it right off of you. I want to see you without any silk or lace. Bring it with us to New York and I promise you that I will appreciate it then."

"You do bring up a good point." With a grin Eddie shed his shirt and he was standing naked in front of his wife who gazed appreciatively at the fine specimen before her. It was the first time she had seen him naked and she definitely liked what she was seeing.

"This is so not fair." He whined.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"I'm naked and you're fully clothed."

"Well I can fix that." She reached behind her, unzipped her dress, slipped it off her shoulders and let it fall to her feet.

"Wow." Eddie breathed as his eyes traveled over Janet's almost naked body.

"You ain't seen nothing yet." Janet said with a wink.

"Then you best give me something to see babe." With a coy smile she slid her underwear to the floor and finally, very slowly, so she could torture him because he was a boob man and she knew her boobs were what he was waiting for. Once her bra was on the floor with their other clothes Eddie took his time staring at his naked wife. "My god, how did I ever get so lucky to end up with such a beautiful wife?" He asked tenderly and tears filled her eyes. Janet had never felt so loved or desired before.

"So are you just going to stand there all night and stare at me or are we going to get down to business?" With a grin, she walked past Eddie and made herself comfortable on the bed. Eddie immediately pounced on the bed and on top of Janet, causing the bed and Janet to bounce up and their foreheads crashed together. "Ow. Son a bitch." Janet gasped running her hand over her forehead.

"Damn." Eddie grunted, rubbing his own head. They both then looked at each other and burst out laughing. "Are…you…okay?" He managed to ask while laughing.

"Yeah….you?" Janet was laughing so hard that teas were running down her face. Eddie managed to nod. He collapsed on top of Janet and they both continued to laugh until they could no longer breathe.

"Awe baby." Eddie propped himself up on an elbow and he ran his hand over her soft face. "Quick sex against a wall, banging heads and probably a concussion, this is really not what I had planned." He actually had tears in his eyes. He wanted this night to be amazingly wonderful for his Janet and so far it was turning into a big joke and he felt like shit. A tear slipped from his eye and rolled down his cheek. "You deserve so much better Janet."

"Oh sweetheart." Janet wiped away the tear. "So this night hasn't turned out the way that either of us planned. It's just the beginning. We can still turn this night around and make it what we want it to be. So what do you say? Care to turn things around Latekka?"

"I would love to turn things around Mrs. Latekka." He leaned down and kissed the red mark on her forehead. "I love you." He whispered. "And I'm going to show you just how much."

Eddie began to place kisses over every possibly inch of her face, neck, shoulders and finally her breasts. Janet knew he loved her breasts but until tonight, she had no idea just how much. By the time he was done kissing, licking and sucking on her breasts she actually had a small orgasm. He eventually moved south, kissing her stomach, thighs and legs, avoiding the spot that she really wanted his lips to be. As he kissed his way back up her leg Janet was becoming impatient and she was squirming underneath him. "Eddie…please…" She begged and he couldn't deny her what she was craving. With a smile he dove his tongue inside of her, causing her to yelp in pleasure. Because she was so close she was experiencing an orgasm within minutes but it wasn't enough for him. Before she could recover from her orgasm he thrust two fingers inside her and attached his mouth to her clit and Janet lost all control of her body. She was moaning, groaning, squealing, and thrashing around on the bed like a mad woman until she was screaming her husband's name.

"Now the fun really starts." Eddie whispered and before Janet could respond he was pushing inside of her. Wanting to feel him as deep inside of her as possible, she bent her legs back towards her chest and locked her ankles around his lower back. Eddie thrust slowly inside of his wife, savoring the feeling of being one. When he felt like he was ready to lose control he stopped thrusting and just kissed Janet until he could resume. After Janet's world shattered due to her third orgasm Eddie finally released. After sharing a passionate kiss Eddie pulled out and collapsed on the bed, pulling Janet to his chest. "Now that's what I'm talking about." He said with a grin as he ran his hand up and down her sweaty back.

"How could I have lived my whole adult life without this amazing sex?" Janet asked

"I was just thinking the same thing." He got quiet for a minute. "Please baby, don't take this the wrong way but sex has never been like this for me before. I've never felt so…so…" He couldn't come up with a word to describe what he was feeling.

"I know exactly what you are saying."

"You make me so happy Janet. I just hope that I can make you just as happy."

"You already have Eddie. No one has ever made me so loved, adored and desired as you make me feel and that alone makes me happier than I have ever been."

"I do love, adore and desire you Janet, more than you can ever imagine." After their marathon love making session Eddie didn't think he would be getting any more action for a few hours but he was wrong. Junior was springing to life and he has never recovered so fast before. He pulled Janet's naked body on top of his and kissed her soundly. "Up for another round?" He asked when they broke apart

"I'm up for anything you can give." Even though Janet had barely recovered from the amazing sex that they just experienced she found herself growing wet with desire. Sliding onto his erection she finally understand what all the talk was about in regards to making love to someone you loved versus just having sex and if the sex was this good on their first night, she knew it could only get better.

* * *

"What's that?" Janet asked when Eddie set down a covered plate next to the bottle of wine.

"It's a surprise." He answered her with a wink and Janet pouted. She reached out to take a peak but he playfully swatted her hand away. "Now Janet, keep that up and you won't get any."

"And if I don't listen, will you spank me?" Eddie groaned.

"No I won't spank you cause I think that you would enjoy it. No spanking. That will be your punishment." He slid into the hot tub, hoping the heat will shrink his erection but he figured that is wasn't likely with a half naked Janet sitting next to him.

"I won't like it." She slid a hand under his swim trunks while she batted her eyes.

"Dammit woman, you are killing me." He groaned, pulling her hand away. "Now be patient and you'll get a treat."

"Fine." Janet relented and sat back against the hot tub.

Once Eddie was convinced that his wife wasn't going to jump him he poured them both a glass of wine. "How about a toast?" Janet nodded. "To us, to the beginning of happily ever after."

"Who knew that I married such a romantic sap?" Janet giggled.

"Just shut up and drink the wine." With a salute Janet downed her wine in one gulp and held her glass out for more and of course, Eddie did not hesitate in refilling his bride's glass.

"Do I get to see what the surprise is?"

"I suppose. Close your eyes." Janet did as she was instructed and Eddie pulled out a chocolate covered strawberry, one of his wife's favorite treats and he ran the chocolate end over her lips. "Open wide." When Janet's mouth opened he placed it inside and she took a bite, keeping her eyes closed until it was gone. The second Janet stopped chewing he replaced the strawberry with his tongue.

"Hmmm. That was good." Janet mumbled.

"The kiss or the strawberry?"

"Both. Can I have some more?"

"Which one?"

"Both." This time Eddie placed the non chocolate end of the strawberry in his mouth and Janet eagerly nibbled on the chocolate end until their lips were meeting in a passionate kiss.

"How are you feeling baby?" Eddie asked when they finished feeding each other strawberry's and making out.

"Better." Since they arrived at the cabin, five days ago, Janet they have had non-stop sex. They have had sex on the bed, against the wall, on the floor, couch, and dining room table, and in the shower and they have experimented with many different positions such as, on her back, she rode him, standing up, or bent over the kitchen counter and couch. Her legs have been in positions that she never would have imagined and she has been paying for it. When she woke up the day before, she could hardly walk so she has spent the past two days in the hot tub, helping her muscles relax and more importantly they have gone almost forty eight hours without having sex which was killing her as much as it was killing Eddie.

"Really? How much better?" He slipped her bathing suit straps down her arms, exposing her breasts, her nipples hard in anticipation.

"Almost back to normal." She moaned when he cupped her wet breast.

"If we take it slow…?" He bent down and started kissing her breasts. With a sigh Janet leaned back, closed her eyes and placed her hand on his head, encouraging his ministrations.

"We don't have to take it slow." With a pop, Eddie released her breast from his mouth, stood and pulled her to her feet and they practically ran to the master bedroom. The minute they crossed the threshold of the bedroom they both quickly stripped out of their bathing suits. "Lie on the bed so your feet touch the floor." Eddie instructed and with a giggle, Janet quickly obeyed.

The bed was a perfect height for what Eddie wanted to try. He stepped in front of Janet, lifted her legs up from the floor, wrapped them around his hips and he pushed into her. He placed his hands under her thighs and he thrust in and out of her like a mad man. Janet loved the sensation she was being given and showed it vocally by moaning while Eddie couldn't stop staring at her breasts that were bouncing with every thrust. "Oh…my…JANET…" He shouted as he came inside his wife. Janet followed with her own orgasm a few strokes later.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" He asked her as they snuggled together under the blankets.

"I'm fine. Still a little sore but it's so worth it." She answered with a yawn.

"Sleep honey."

"Not tired."

"You sound like a child." Janet settled her head in the crook of his shoulder.

"Yeah but you love me anyways."

"More than you'll ever know."

* * *

"Come on old man. Can't you keep up with me?" Janet yelled. It was the last day of their honeymoon and Janet wanted to hike to a local waterfall that she had read about.

"Hey you're not the carrying a backpack full of supplies on your back. Why don't you carry it and then we'll see how fast you move." She stuck her tongue out at him but waited for him to catch up.

Janet was anxious to find this waterfall because the sky was growing darker by the minute. She had thought that they could make it before the rain would hit but the hike was taking longer than she had anticipated. "Oh Shit." Eddie felt the first few drops of rain and then suddenly the sky opened up and it poured. "Run." He shouted.

"Where to?" Janet asked

"I don't know. Just run."

"Why?" She had to shout to be heard over the downpour. "Are you going to melt?" She taunted.

"Yeah baby I'm going to melt cause I'm so damn sweet.

"Oh please."

"Come on let's find some kind of cover." Linking hands they continued to walk through the rain. Just when the first clap of thunder sounded Janet spotted the waterfall.

"Look there it is." Janet shouted pointing. "It's so beautiful."

"I have an idea let's go."

"But I…"

"Come on." Eddie had to practically drag her away from her spot.

"Where are we…whoa." In an instant Janet tripped over a root and went falling into a giant mud puddle taking her husband down with her. "Son of a bitch." She and Eddie were both covered in mud and Eddie was laughing. "This is not funny. I am covered in mud." Even as she said that she was smiling.

"It's totally funny." He then grew serious. "Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?"

"I'm fine." Eddie stood to his feet and pulled Janet's to hers.

"Come on. We need to get out of this storm." Eddie carefully made his way through the woods holding tightly to Janet. "Okay honey, be real careful. Its slick and I don't want you to fall again." The both of them slowly climbed down a hill until they were next to the waterfall. He hoped that there would be a way to get under the waterfall and they were in luck but to get under it they were going to have to walk through it but right now it really didn't matter because they were already soaking wet.

"What are you…?" Janet never finished her sentence because the next thing she knew Eddie was pulling her under the waterfall. "Now this was a great idea." She told him once they were out of the rain.0

"And that surprises you?" Janet gave him a quick kiss.

"Not at all."

"We're probably going to be in here for a while so we might as well make ourselves comfortable." Janet agreed and they sat on the cold cave floor and leaned against the wall, his arm around her and her head on his shoulder.

"You know, this is really romantic, sitting under a waterfall during a thunderstorm."

"If you say so honey."

"I do." That sat together in comfortable silence, listening to the sound of the waterfall and occasionally thunder when it was loud enough to overpower the sound of the loud water until Eddie felt Janet shaking next to him.

"Oh my God, Janet, you're freezing."

"I…'m…f..ine." Her teeth were chattering so much she could barely talk and her lips were turning blue.

"No you're not." He quickly pulled Janet to his chest, wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly until she finally stopped shaking. "Better?"

"Yes. You take very good care of me." She lifted her head and kissed him softly which quickly turned passionate.

"I know a way that I can take great care of you and keep you warm at the same time."

"I know that you are not suggesting that we have sex right here, right now."

"That's exactly what I am suggesting."

"No way bubba."

"Why the hell not? I can take care of you and keep you warm at the same time. I think its genius." He said proudly as he continued to rub her arms to keep her warm. "And I've heard to avoid hypothermia is skin to skin contact and sex."

"I am in no danger of hypothermia." Eddie just looked at her. "Eddie we are in public; outside for crying out loud. Anyone could see us."

"No one is as crazy as we are to go hiking all the way out when a thunderstorm is looming. I'm sure most people look at the weather report."

"I…"

"Come on, you said yourself this is pretty damn romantic. Think about it, a thunder storm, hidden back away from the world. You know you want to."

"On the ground though? There might be bugs, slimy gross bugs." Eddie knew she was about to give in. He reluctantly released her and the second he did, she felt herself growing cold again. He pulled out a blanket from the backpack and spread it over the floor of the cave.

"Any other objections?" Janet's body seemed to act of its own accord. She stood and removed her clothes. She couldn't believe that she was actually doing this but she couldn't seem to stop herself.

"My only objection is you're still dressed."

* * *

"Here is some hot tea baby." Eddie handed the steaming mug to Janet.

"Thank you." She whispered but it sounded more like "Bank Buu." When they returned from their eventful hike they showered and took a nap. When they woke up Janet was sick. She was coughing, she was so congested that couldn't breathe and she was running a slight fever.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Liar." Janet smiled weakly.

"I feel like shit." She admitted.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. The hike was my idea and I should have checked the weather report."

"I know it's not my fault. I have no control over the weather." This time she glared playfully at him. "I'm just sorry that you're sick."

"Aww. You're sweet."

"That's why you married me."

"That and many, many other wonderful reasons."

"Care to share some of those reasons with me?"

"Maybe later. I want to finish the movie."

"Whatever my wife wants, my wife gets."

"Smart man." Janet snuggled up against Eddie and fell asleep an hour into the movie. As soon as Eddie started to move so he could take Janet upstairs she immediately woke up. "Movie?" She reached for tissue and blew her nose.

"It's over. You slept through most of it."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. Come on gorgeous. Time for bed."

"I'm not tired." She mumbled and even Eddie knew she was lying.

"Then we can just lie in bed and talk until you fall asleep."

"Sounds good." They headed to the bathroom, took care of their nightly bedroom duties and climbed in bed and into each other's arms.

"Whatcha thinking about?' Eddie whispered into the dark.

"That our honeymoon is over and we go back to our real lives." She sounded so sad.

"That's not a bad thing Janet. We are going to spend every day together, waking up, and falling asleep together. It can't get much better than that babe."

"I know. It's just that this week has been so wonderful. We've been able to do what we want when we want. When we go back home we will have to return to work and everything else and I just don't want to lose what we experienced and found here. This week, we have experienced a level of intimacy that I have never had with anyone before and I don't want to lose that when we return to our lives."

"We're not going to lose what we found here. Sure, our normal lives aren't nearly as great as this week has been but regardless hon, we will never lose the intimacy that we found this week, sexual and otherwise."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Janet I love you more than anything in the world and that's never going to change so why are you worrying?"

"I've seen it happen to people we know, people who went to high school with us that got married and now they are divorced. I love you too Eddie and I don't want that to happen to us." Janet began to cough. She sat up and blew her nose while Eddie tapped her back to help relive her cough. "I'm sorry. I guess all the snot that is stuck in my head is messing with it." She settled back down next to him.

"The night before our wedding mom sat me down and gave me some martial advice. She and dad have been married for almost a hundred years and that's pretty good for a couple that only knew each other for a week before they got married so I really listened when she talked."

"So what was the advice?"

"That no matter how busy life gets we always have to remember to be Janet and Eddie."

"Huh?"

"As time goes on we are going to have a few roles that we are going to have to play during our marriage, the role of husband, wife and eventually the role of mom and dad. Mom said that we can't forget the people we are when we are alone. Most of the time my parents played the mom and dad role and while playing that role they indulged in the husband and wife role by going out on a date at least once a week and a couple times a month Kate and I were dumped at my grandparents house for the night so they could do the nasty."

"Ewe."

"Yeah, tell me about it. Now I know that they did it more then just the weekends that Kate and I were gone but I think that they needed time alone so they wouldn't get caught."

"Can we please move on? I really don't want to hear about your parents' sex life."

"No problem. Anyway mom said that we need time to be Eddie and Janet but not Eddie and Janet together. We need to spend time apart, with friends. She said that couples that are with each other constantly and have no life without the spouse end up losing each other and I'll be damned if I'm going to let that happen to us. So Janet, sweetheart, we are going to follow mom's advice to the letter. My parents have been happily married for thirty some years and it's worked for them and I know that it will work for us."

"Promise?"

"Yeah baby. I promise and I also promise you that we are going to have sex every single day for the rest of our lives."

"As much as I like the sound of that, it ain't going to happen bubba."

"Why the hell not?"

"Well first of all, tomorrow for example, if I feel as bad as I do now then I am not having sex."

"I'm sure I can change your mind."

"I'm sure you can't and secondly, I don't have sex while I'm on my period so that's at least five days out of the month that you won't be getting any."

"There are always condoms."

"I will not have sex while I'm on my period, period." She giggled. "Besides, my periods are nightmares and last thing I want to do while on my period is have sex."

"Five whole days? I'm going to have to go five whole days?"

"Yep. Five whole days starting in about three days"

"I just can't quit having sex with you cold turkey. You're going to have to wean me off. Let's see, today we did it three times so that means tomorrow we can do it three times again and then the next day twice and then finally one time." He practically looked heart broken.

"What am I a drug?"

"Yeah baby. You're my drug. I am so addicted to you. I am addicted to everything about you and the five days that you are on your period will be pure hell for me."

"Yeah well it sure ain't no walk in the park for me either."

"I'll try to make it as pleasant for you as possible hon."

"How did I get so lucky?" With a smile, Eddie leaned over to kiss her but she quickly turned her head and his lips landed on her cheek.

"What the hell?"

"I don't want you to get sick." Janet yawned.

"Speaking of kids."

"We were?"

"Yeah I mentioned being mom and dad so yeah, we talked about kids."

"Okay then what about kids?"

"We decided not to get pregnant right away so how long are you thinking?"

"Since we're talking about our future kids I think that when we start trying should be a mutual decision but I would like to start trying on our one year anniversary. I want to enjoy being married to you before we start a family. What about you? When do you want to add to our family?"

"I like your idea. Let's wait for a year."

"Wow. This time next year, I could be pregnant."

"I like that idea." Eddie whispered softly, kissing the top of Janet's head.


	24. Chapter 24

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

The first year of Eddie and Janet's marriage was practically perfect. Like any married couple, they had some fights but they also made up. They took Eddie's parents' advice and they made time for themselves, they made time for each other and during their time together they had lots of sex. Eddie had always been a hard worker but since his marriage he had worked harder then he ever had before. He wanted to give Janet nice things, take her to wonderful places and eventually buy a nice big house for the children that they were going to have.

Eddie made Janet come up with a list like his, a list of things that she wanted to do before she died. They both knew or hoped that it would be years before that happened but now, because of Eddie's tumor, they both realized that death can occur at anytime and Eddie didn't want to wait to wait until the last minute so they decided to tackle each of their lists when they had time and money. So far they made the trip to D.C. from Eddie's list and they traveled to New York City to see Hairspray, a Broadway show from Janet's list.

During their first year of marriage, Nick and Hannah got married and Katie and Ikey got engaged. After they returned from their honeymoon, Eddie believed in true love more than he ever had before. He has never been happier than her being married to the love of his life and he wanted his best friends and his sister to be as happy as he was so he convinced Nick to get off of his ass and tell Hannah how he really felt and he pushed Ikey and Katie together and now the four of them were well on their way to happily ever after.

They celebrated their first anniversary in Las Vegas and that weekend Janet stopped taking her birth control and Eddie was convinced that by the end of the weekend, she would be pregnant. Janet on the other hand was a bit more realistic. She knew it could take a few months to get pregnant after being on having been on the pill for so long but she didn't tell Eddie that. She didn't want to dampen his sprits and she was looking forward to trying.

Their anniversary weekend ended and Janet was not pregnant but they were a few thousand dollars richer thanks to some good luck that they had. Once they were home, they began actively looking for a house while continuing to try and get pregnant. It took them two months but they found a perfect two story, three bedroom home. For a couple of months Janet was occupied with packing up the old house and then unpacking the new house but as soon as that was done she focused all of her energy on getting pregnant.

Eddie loved having sex with his wife but during the six months prior to their two year wedding anniversary, the sex wasn't what it used to be. Janet was obsessive about making sure that they had sex when she was ovulating and it seemed to him that she didn't care about making love, all she cared about was having sex so she could get pregnant and Eddie wasn't sure how he felt about it.

* * *

"It's after six. What the hell are you still doing here?" Nick asked Eddie .

"Not ready to go home yet."

"Is it that time of the month already?" Eddie nodded glumly. Over the past few months, when Janet got her period she was miserable. She was angry, she cried and she was inconsolable. Eddie hated going home because he felt so helpless. There was nothing he could do to make her feel better except impregnate her but he seemed to be failing at that. "Maybe she's pregnant." Nick suggested.

"Trust me, if she was pregnant I would know. Janet always calls me once or twice a day, except for the day she gets her period and that day, today, she is sitting at home, probably on the couch crying."

"Eddie, I'm really sorry."

"Who would have thought that it would be so hard to get pregnant? Hell, you and Hannah got pregnant a few months after you two got married."

"Sorry about that. It probably didn't help Janet's mental state. Why haven't you guys seen a doctor about this?"

"The definition of infertitity is the failure to conceive after one year of regular intercourse." He quoted. "We couldn't get an appointment until we reached the one year mark. The one year was three weeks ago on our anniversary and our appointment is next week." For their second anniversary the took a trip to West Virginia and did a little white water rafting and bungee jumping and for the first time in months, the sex was what it used to be and the possibility of a pregnancy wasn't hanging over their heads, or at least that's how Eddie felt but it didn't last long. As soon as they were back home, sex became all about getting pregnant. "God Nicky, I am so tired of this drama that we go through every month. I want a kid too but it's so much worse for Janet. I hate seeing her so distraught every month and the only thing I can do to help her is knock her up and I can't even do that."

"Don't put this all on yourself man. Neither of you are to blame. Regardless of the reason that the doctor tells you that Janet can't get pregnant no one is to blame."

"Thanks Nick." Eddie logged off of his computer and stood. "I might as well get home and face the music."

"Good luck."

"Thanks." On his way home, Eddie stopped and picked up some flowers. He hoped that the flowers would make her feel better.

"Hey honey. I'm home." When Eddie didn't get an answer he went to the living room where he knew he would find her on the couch. "Hey baby." He said softly. He lifted her feet, sat on the couch and placed her feet on his lap.

"I got my period." She mumbled tearfully.

"I figured." He handed her the bouquet of flowers her brought home for her. "I brought you flowers."

"Wow. An "I'm sorry you're not knocked up" bouquet. Who would have thought?"

"That's uncalled for Janet."

"If that's not what it is then what are they?"

"It's nothing. I knew that you would be upset and I thought that it would help you feel better."

"Feel better? Do you honestly think flowers can help me feel better?" She burst into tears. "Flowers can't help." She sobbed, throwing the flowers across the room.

"I'm sorry Janet." Eddie snapped, pushing her feet off of his lap. He got up and grabbed the flowers off of the floor. "I just don't know what else to do." He turned back towards Janet when her sobbing increased. "Dammit Janet. Please, tell me what to do. I don't know what to do. I hate seeing you like this." Eddie himself was near tears.

"Well I'm sorry that you hate my inability to get pregnant. "

"It's not your inability to get pregnant that I hate Janet. I hate what it's doing to you and our relationship."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"First of all I actually am starting to hate coming home when I know that you got your period. You get depressed, you're angry and you're mean. You're not the woman I married when your period comes."

"Didn't you just get the shit end of the stick?"

"See. That's exactly what I mean." Janet's sobs intensified and Eddie's heart broke for his wife. Returning the couch, he lifted Janet's upper body, vacated that spot and then he cradled her to his chest, murmuring "shhh" until she calmed down. "Baby, all you can think about is getting pregnant and it's affecting our relationship. With the exception of our anniversary, we haven't made love in months."

"Are you kidding me? Where have you been lately? We have had plenty of sex."

"Exactly. We have sex. We don't make love and trust me, there is a difference. We used to touch, kiss and engage in foreplay. Now whenever you're ovulating all you want is me inside of you with the only goal being pregnant. Most of the time you don't even take off you're shirt."

"Eddie…" Janet burst into tears again and Eddie just held her tightly and shed silent tears of his own. Once she calmed down, she pulled away from Eddie and sat up. He reached for her hand and she let him hold it. "I always thought that when the time came and I was ready to get pregnant, it would just happen. I never imagined it wouldn't."

"Maybe we're just trying too hard. I've been doing some reading and some of the experts say that if the couple is too stressed out about getting pregnant it won't happen. What about if we just stop trying and maybe, just maybe it will happen?"

"We tried that. For six months we tried that and then, it wasn't about getting pregnant. It was just a possible possibility." Janet finally turned and looked at her husband. "Eddie what if…" Her voice trailed off.

"What if what?" Eddie asked, although he knew where this conversation was headed.

"What if something is so broken inside of me and I can't get pregnant. What if I can't give you the son, the family, from your dream?"

"Honey, I have a family. I have you. You are my family."

"It's not the family from your dream. We don't have a child."

"It was just a dream. It doesn't matter."

"But it does matter. It mattered enough to make you propose as soon as woke up."

"Before I got my tumor, I knew that I was going to marry you. It was just a question of when. Besides reminding me that life is short and I shouldn't put off anything because life can be cruelly taken away at any minute, the only thing that dream did was convince me not to wait any longer to propose. We are married and that's all that really matters to me, kids or no kids. What about if we ended up with a daughter or more than one and no boys? Would you still be upset that it wasn't like my dream?"

"No because if we had a little girl then at least I could give you a child."

"Why are you putting the blame of not getting pregnant all on yourself? Maybe it's me. Maybe I don't have motivated sperm."

"It's probably me." Eddie pulled Janet back to his chest. She wrapped her arm around his stomach and his arm went around her shoulder.

"Oh honey." He really didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry Eddie. I am so sorry. I just want a baby, our baby so much that it's making me crazy. What if we can't have one?"

"If we can't get pregnant there are options Janet. There are ways to get pregnant other than the natural way and if we can't have our own child there is adoption. It's not the end of the world. We will have a child Janet, one way or another." Janet lifted her tear-stained face to her husband and kissed his softly. When they broke apart, she placed her hand on his cheek.

"When my period is over I want to make love. Even though I have been acting like a crazy woman do you still want that?" With his free hand, Eddie reached up and linked their fingers together.

"More than anything sweetheart." He whispered softly.

* * *

"Janet you're going to break your bracelet if you don't stop." Eddie chastised. She had been twisting, clasping and unclasping her bracelet over and over.

"I can't help it. Our future is dependent on what the doctor is going to walk in here and say."

"No. We are going to find out of we are able to have our own children. Whatever happens here today, you and I are in this together. No matter what the doctor says I'm not going anywhere." Although, she never voiced it, he knew that somewhere deep down she was afraid that if she couldn't have a baby, he would leave her and nothing is farther from the truth.

They were at the fertility doctor's office, awaiting Janet's test results. Just as Janet suspected, the lack of pregnancy was her fault. Eddie had his sperm tested and his boys were numerous in quantity and they were highly motivated so that left Janet. When she was told that she was the reason that they weren't holding or loving a child was her fault, her heart shattered but Eddie was slowly piecing it back together.

"Mr. Mrs. Latekka. It's good to see you." Dr. Hatley greeted them. "Mrs. Latekka, I have your test results." Janet nodded and finally stopped playing with her bracelet and clutched Eddie's hand. "As I thought and explained to you, your test results came back showing an extreme case of endometriosis which is the cause of your infertility."

"How could I not have known that I had this?"

"You've been on birth control pills for fifteen to sixteen years right?" Janet nodded. "Why did you start the pill at such a young age?"

"Even at fourteen my menstrual flow was very heavy and my cramps were miserable. They would start two days before my period and last the entire week. I always missed a few days of school because I could hardly walk because I was in so much pain. My pediatrician suggested the pill to help with the flow and cramps and it worked. The flow has been much lighter and my cramps are tolerable." She explained.

"The symptoms that you had when you were fourteen led me to believe that you have had the endometriosis since then. Since the birth control pill stopped your symptoms your pediatrician had no reason to run further testing. Did your symptoms return when you stopped taking the pills last year?"

"Yeah they did. Not at first but by third month I was pretty miserable again."

"Birth control pills can inhibit the growth of endometrial tissue and that's what exactly what happened in your case. All the years that you were on the pill, your endometriosis wasn't growing. Now that you're off of the pill, it started growing rampant."

"Can it be fixed?" Eddie asked.

"There are a couple of fixable options such as returning back to the birth control pills or a hysterectomy but neither of those options will help you get pregnant."

"Am I going to be able to get pregnant?"

"Not the natural way." Dr. Hatley went on to explain the reasons why Janet would not be able to get pregnant the normal way. The only thing Eddie understood from the doctor's speech was scar tissue.

"What are our options? You said that I can't get pregnant the natural way so there must be some way that we can have a baby, right?"

"There are a couple of options that I can give you. The first is IVF or in-vitro fertilization, a process where sperm and egg are removed from both of you and then I inject the sperm into the egg in a Petri dish. Once fertilization takes place the embryo is put inside the uterus. The second option is surrogacy. The procedure is the same but instead of implanting the embryo in your uterus Janet the embryo is implanted in the woman of your choosing."

"Are those our only options?" Eddie inquired.

"For your particular situation, yes." Eddie and Janet both nodded.

Dr. Hatley then went over all of the pros and cons of each option, including the side effects, the cost because their insurance most likely won't cover either procedure and he sent them home with some brochures. Eddie and Janet walked out of the office with heavy heart, not knowing what to do.

Since Janet's appointment was first thing in the morning, Eddie decided to take the day off so he and Janet could make the necessary decisions that needed to be made. They set up at the dining room table, laying out the brochures out in front of them along with their insurance plan and financial information. "Before we start going through everything I have one question for you."

"What is it?"

"Are either of these options something that you want to do?"

"Shouldn't this be something that we decide together?"

"Technically yes, but the hard part falls on you. All I have to do is jack off in a cup. You're going to have to get shots and have surgery. If you're up for it then I'm game but if not, I need you to understand that if you don't want to do this, then I will support you one hundred and ten percent." Janet looked across the table at her husband with tears in her eyes.

"I want a baby Eddie. Our baby."

"All right then. We proceed. Next question. Are both procedures something you want to consider?"

"Only IVF. I will not consider a surrogate. I have heard too many stories and seen too many Lifetime movies where the surrogate won't give the baby to its parents and that is something that I won't chance."

"Agreed. That is the first thing that I thought of."

The couple spent the next hour on the phone with the insurance company, which was no easy feat and after being transferred to what seemed like a thousand people they had their answer. The insurance company wasn't going to pay for IVF. "Well I guess that we are back at square one." Janet said miserably.

"Not necessarily."

"Eddie we can't afford this. We have no where near the kind of money in our savings account and the doctor's office doesn't take payments." Tears began to fall. They had come so close.

"Sweetheart, we can apply for a loan."

"We just bought this house. I don't want to take on a loan, have a baby and then end up getting ourselves strapped. What's the point of having a baby if we can't provide financially for it?"

"While you have been on the phone with the insurance I have been going through our bills compared to what we bring home with our paychecks we can easily afford a loan payment. We have a fixed interest rate on the house for fifteen years. We'll be fine Janet."

"What if we take out a loan and it doesn't work We would have to pay back all that money and have nothing to show for it. It's just too much of a risk." She wanted to get pregnant, more than anything right now but she was afraid to put a financial strain on her family. She had seen so many couples get divorced because of money issues.

Eddie reached out and took Janet's hand. "Sweetheart, I want a baby and we now have the chance to have one. It's a risk but it's a risk that I am willing to take. I know you're scared that it won't work, I'm scared too but can you live the rest of your life wondering "what if"? What if we would have tried and it worked? What would our child look like? I don't want to beg you Janet so I'm going to ask you this one time. Please? Can we please get a loan and try to have a baby?" Tears were now falling from his eyes.

"Okay Eddie. Let's try for a baby."

* * *

A month later, after her next period Janet had started the injections to stimulate her eggs to mature so they could be inseminated. The side effects from the injections weren't bad and Janet tolerated them well. She spent a lot of time at the doctor's office with an ultrasound wand on her belly, so they could check the progress of her maturing egg cells. Once the eggs were mature to the doctors liking Eddie and Janet both went into the office for retrieval of eggs and sperm.

Eddie's part was easy and with Janet's help of manual stimulation and dirty talk Eddie was quickly able to produce a sample. After his part was done Eddie was put into the waiting room while Janet underwent her procedures. Since she had to be knocked out the doctor was going to first attempt to remove the excess endometrial tissue from her uterus so when the embryo's were put in her uterus they would have somewhere in implant themselves and then he was going to extract the eggs.

The days following the egg extraction leading up to the implantation Janet was giddy, knowing that she might be pregnant within a couple of weeks. The days seemed to drag on but the night before the implantation finally arrived.

"I think it's time that we fill the prescription Dr. Hatley wrote for us." Janet said as she walked into the living room wearing a very sexy, see - through nightgown.

"I was ready to fill it hours ago." Eddie stood and walked over to his wife. Dr. Hatley recommended that they have sex the night before the implantation, explaining that the uterine contractions that she experienced during her orgasm may increase the chance of the embryo implant and he jokingly wrote a prescription instructing them to have sex.

"The pharmacy is this way." Janet took his hand and led him to their bedroom that was bathed in candlelight. They released hands and Janet went and lay on the bed and watched as Eddie stripped.

"Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?" He whispered as he lovingly ran his hand up her leg to her thigh.

"Yes you have but a girl never tires of hearing it."

"Beautiful." He mumbled, burying his face in her cleavage, sticking his tongue in the crevice. "So beautiful." His lips were now placing soft kisses on her neck. "So very beautiful." The instant his lips met hers, in the first of many passionate kisses, he slid to fingers inside of her hot, wet center.

Janet moaned into the kiss and her hips involuntary bucked into his hands, pushing his fingers deeper. Eddie continued to kiss her while his fingers worked their magic inside her and within a few minutes she was groaning into his mouth. Eddie pulled away and licked his fingers. "You taste so good." Janet was feeling boneless from her orgasm so Eddie pulled her into a sitting position, yanked her nightgown over her head and then he laid her back down. Gazing at his beautiful wife, lying naked on the bed, totally content, he was reminded how damn lucky he was. Knowing, she needed time to recoup he lay back down and attached his mouth to one of her breasts while he fondled the other until she was squirming beneath him in pleasure.

"Fast and hard or slow and tender baby? Whatever you want, it's yours." He asked.

"Fast. I want it fast."

"You got it." Eddie pulled himself off the bed and then pulled Janet to the edge. This had become one of her favorite positions and one of his as well. She immediately wrapped her legs around his lower back and he thrusted into her. He pushed into her fast, just like she wanted but he needed to be deeper inside of her and he knew she wanted it too. He lifted her hips and sank deeper inside of her, eliciting a scream of pleasure from her. Eddie continued to pump furiously until he shouted her name as he exploded inside of her. Janet shattered around him a couple of thrusts later.

Eddie pulled out of his wife, repositioned her on the bed, crawled in next to her and covered them up. Janet immediately snuggled up next to him, pressing her body next to his. "This time tomorrow…"

"Don't say it honey." Eddie requested. He didn't want her to get her hopes up only to have her heart broken. If he really thought about it he didn't want to get his own hopes up and then dashed.

"Not saying it isn't going to stop me from thinking about it. It's all I can think about."

"You're telling me that while we were making love you were thinking about the implantation? Gee thanks honey." Eddie joked.

"I take it back. The only time today I wasn't thinking about the implantation was when we were making love."

"That's better." He tightened his arm around her. "Janet I don't want to see your heart broken."

"I know you don't and I don't want you're heart to be broken either but if I don't get pregnant then it's going to happen. Our hearts are going to be broken. As much as I'm hoping that the implantation will work, I'm just as scared that it won't." She admitted softly.

"Whatever happens tomorrow and the weeks that follow we're in it together, baby or no baby."

"I really want this to work, more than anything Eddie."

"Me too Janet. Me too."

* * *

"Mrs. Latekka. Are you ready?" Carol, the nurse at the fertility clinic asked. Janet and Eddie followed the nurse back into the procedure room.

"More than you know."

"Have a seat and Dr. Hatley will be in shortly to go over last minute details. Good luck."

"Thank you." Eddie said. From the corner of his eye he saw Janet walk over to stand in front of the window. She wrapped her arms around herself and just stared outside. He walked over to her, wrapping her in his arms and she leaned into the embrace.

"I'm so scared Eddie. I don't know if I can go through this."

"Because you're scared it will work or because you are scared that it won't?"

"A little of both but mainly the latter."

"Sweetheart."

"I…I…I don't know if I can handle it if it doesn't work."

"Then we don't have to do this today or ever. We can go home and talk about it some more. Whatever choice you make, you have my support." Janet didn't respond. She just continued to stare outside until Dr. Haley came in.

"Well today is the day. Are you excited?" The doctor asked and Janet finally broke out of Eddie's comforting embrace.

"I don't know if that's the word I would use to describe what I'm feeling right now."

"Are you having second thoughts?" Janet took a minute before answering.

"No I'm not. I'm ready to do this."

"Before we get started would you like to see your embryos?"

"We can see them?" Eddie asked.

"You sure can. The embryos are so small that you need a microscope to see them but I have a cool microscope that will allow me to project them on a screen. Are you ready?" They both nodded. "Follow me."

Eddie and Janet followed into another room. He dimmed the lights and then the embryos were up on the screen. Together, they slowly walked up to the screen and Janet reached out and touched one and then the other embryos through the screen. They decided only to inseminate two eggs and then implant the two embryos due to the money restrictions that they had.

"Eddie are you seeing this? One of these could be our baby." A giant lump formed in Eddie's throat and he was unable to speak so he just nodded. After giving them a few minutes to look at their possible future child Dr. Hatley escorted them back to the procedure room where he instructed Janet to undress from the waist down.

"I know that you were having second thoughts when we got here but when you told Dr. Hatley I know that you no longer were having them so what changed your mind?" Eddie asked while they waited for Dr. Hatley to return.

"I knew that I couldn't live without knowing. I can't go the rest of my life wondering if the implantation would have taken and even though I'm terrified that it won't take I have to know. Even if my heart will break I have to take this chance." Tears were sliding down her cheeks and Eddie wiped them with his thumb.

"You are so brave. Do you realize that?"

"You have just as much stake in this as I do."

"Yeah, but it's different for me." Just then, Dr. Hatley and his nurse returned.

"Are you ready?"

"More than anything."

"Scoot down to the end of the table and put your feet in the stirrups. You know the drill." Janet did as she was instructed and Eddie poisoned himself right next to Janet.

"Remember what I told you Janet. It's just like a pap smear except longer." She nodded and Eddie took her hand. "All right. Here we go."

Fifteen minutes later, it was all done and Janet was lying flat on her back and she would remain that way for the next hour. "Would you like to watch some television?" The nurse asked.

"No thanks." Eddie answered.

"Press the call button if you need anything." She said as she walked out of the room.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" Eddie asked softly.

"I'm more than all right. I think that it worked."

"Janet." The tone of his voice was mixed with worry and hope.

"I know right know the embryos are just hanging out right now but maybe it's my motherly instinct telling me that one of those embryos are going to make itself at home inside of me."

"I hope you're right."

"I am." The confidence that she was feeling made its way over to him. With a smile, he leaned over and kissed her softly.

"I love you Janet."

"I know. I love you too."

* * *

The next two weeks were the longest of both Eddie and Janet's lives. The day of the procedure, after Eddie took Janet home, she was on bed rest for twenty four hours and for those twenty four hours Eddie waited on his wife, whatever she needed or whatever he thought that she needed, she had. According to Dr. Hatley Janet was allowed to return to a normal life the following day but Eddie didn't want to risk it so for the rest of the weekend he didn't allow his wife out of bed. Janet loved the special treatment and honestly, Eddie loved pampering her. They were allowed to resume sexual activity a week after the procedure but Janet wasn't having it. She didn't want to risk hurting the baby, if there was in fact one to hurt.

Two weeks after the procedure, Janet was back at the fertility clinic getting blood work done to see if she was pregnant. Knowing how anxious perspective parents are, Dr. Hatley always runs the blood work stat. When he came back and told her the test was negative Janet remained positive. Dr. Hatley told her depending on when the embryo implanted, it could take up to three weeks for the blood test to be positive so even with one negative test, there was still a chance.

* * *

"This test will be positive today." Janet told Eddie while they waited for the fourth pregnancy test results.

"What makes you say that?"

"I was supposed to get my period yesterday and I didn't." Her blue eyes were shining with excitement.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid that if I mentioned it then I would start."

"You're always regular aren't you?"

"I am."

"Oh baby."

"I know."

"Hey Janet, Eddie." Dr. Hatley was wearing a huge smile when in walked in the room and Eddie and Janet knew the results.

"Do you have the results?" Eddie whispered as he clutched Janet's hand.

"This is my favorite part of the job. Congratulations Janet, you're pregnant." Eddie stood up, shook the doctor's hand, returned to Janet were they wrapped their arms around each other and cried tears of joy.


	25. Chapter 25

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

It had been six weeks since Eddie and Janet were told that they were going to have their long awaited and highly desired baby. They had decided to wait until Janet got through the first trimester before they told anyone because the percentage of miscarriages dropped after the first trimester. Around their family and friends they tried to act normal but when they were alone, they were downright giddy, planning and talking about their future child.

"Good morning Eddie and Janet." Dr. Hatley greeted, walking into the exam room.

"Good Morning." Janet and Eddie answered together.

"Everything going well Janet?" He asked, already knowing the answer. His patient was positively glowing.

"Everything is great."

"Feeling sick or tired?"

"I'm very tired and I do have morning sickness."

"Is it bad?"

"It sucks. It lasts a couple of hours but I can deal with it. Waking up and puking every day reminds me that I am pregnant and I am okay with that." Eddie reached over and squeezed her hand.

"The sickness should only last through the first trimester. If it gets to be too much for you let me know and I can give you something to help combat the nausea." Janet nodded. "Have you decided if you want to continue your prenatal care with your regular OB/GYN?"

"You said that you can handle my prenatal care and delivery if I wanted." Dr. Hatley nodded. "I would like for you to continue our care. You made this happen and you should see the end result."

"I think that I can handle that." Dr. Hatley smiled at his patient. "Let's get started."

"Are we going to be able to see the baby's sex today?" Eddie asked as Janet laid back on the table for her ultrasound.

"Sorry Eddie. It's way too soon. The point of today's ultrasound is just to check and make sure the embryo implanted correctly and check for multiple births." Dr. Hatley put the cold gel on Janet's belly, turned the ultrasound machine on and then placed the wand on her belly.

"Can you see it?" Eddie asked his wife as they both stared at the screen.

"I can't see anything."

"Yeah, me either."

"Well Janet and Eddie, you don't have to worry about twins."

"That's good." Janet whispered. They knew that with the IVF treatment and implanting more than one embryo could result in multiple births but that was a risk that they was willing to take but now that it was official that they weren't having twins, they both breathed a little easier.

"Nope no, twins."

"What's going on?" Janet was suspicious of the way the doctor was acting and grinning.

"You are not having twins."

"We got that."

"What do you think of the number three?" There was an immediate silence and it took a few minutes for Dr. Hatley's words to sink in.

"I beg your pardon?" Janet finally managed to get out.

"I found three heartbeats."

"Is there more?" Eddie asked. Three kids was a lot and he didn't know if he could handle more than that.

"No. Just three."

"I don't understand how this happened. We only put in two embryos." Eddie was in shock, happy but still in shock.

"Apparently, one of the embryos divided so two out of the three will be identical twins."

"Wow." Was all Janet could manage to say at this point.

"Would you like to see their heartbeats?" Janet nodded and Eddie spoke for them both when he agreed and five minutes later, they had seen three tiny heartbeats that belonged to their three children. "Okay Janet, everything looks good. Now because of the triplets, I want to see you every two weeks so I can closely monitor you and the babies' progress." She simply nodded. "Are you okay Janet? You've been kinda quiet."

"Just surprised. I had mentally prepared myself for the possibility of twins but not triplets."

"I need to do a quick pelvic exam." Dr. Hatley put his gloves on and Janet scooted her butt down to the edge of the table and placed her feet in the stirrups. Dr. Hatley did a quick pelvic exam and once it was over he told her that everything looked perfect.

"Now everything that you have heard about being pregnant will most likely not apply in your case." The doctor explained as Janet sat back up "Everything will be different with you. For example, your weight gain is going to start sooner than normal and you're going to gain a lot more weight than normal. You're going to be tired, pretty much your entire pregnancy and your going to hurt. The further along you get the more excess weight in your stomach, you will be carrying and your lower back will be sore from supporting the babies. And lastly, you most likely won't go full term, most multiple births don't simply because there isn't enough room in your uterus. You'll probably go 28-30 weeks but I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that when your children are born, they are healthy. Are you ready for this Janet?"

"Absolutely not but I will be. Granted, I only wanted one baby but I'll take three."

"Okay then. If you have no more questions, I'm done with you for today." Janet and Eddie shook their heads. "Okay. Make sure that you set up your next appointment and I'll see you in two weeks." Dr. Hatley smiled and left them alone.

"It looks like we have a lot to talk about." Eddie finally said as Janet dressed.

"Are you upset?" She asked quietly and Eddie could tell that that she thought he was. He walked over and wrapped his arms around his wife.

"No sweetheart. I'm not upset at all."

"Really?" She mumbled into his chest as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Really. I'm not upset. Scared shitless but definitely not upset."

"I'm scared too Eddie but because I have you I know that we'll be fine."

"Of course you have me silly. I am these babies daddy." Janet giggled, lifted her head and kissed him softly.

"Our babies are lucky to have you as their daddy." With a smile, Eddie and Janet shared another kiss, a slow, tender kiss.

* * *

"I think I lost some of my hearing." Eddie commented after hanging up the phone. His mother screeched very loudly when Eddie told her of the upcoming triplets.

"I even heard her before you pulled the phone away from your ear." Janet teased. They had decided that since she was having triplets they should tell their family and friends about the babies since she would be showing before the first trimester was done and they wouldn't be able to hide it.

"Come on and sit with me." Eddie patted the empty seat next to him on the couch and Janet joined him. He automatically placed his arm around her shoulders and she leaned against him. "Look baby, I've been thinking, all day about our babies, and I want you to stay home with them when they are born." He told her. "My mom stayed home and raised us and now that I'm all grown up and about to have kids of my own I realize what a good thing it was that she was there for us. She was there everyday when we got home from school. She helped us with our homework, taxied us everywhere we needed to go, made dinner for us every night, and came to every school function and sporting event that Katie and I had. I want that for our kids Janet."

"Can we afford that?" After her appointment they each returned to their respective jobs without really talking any details. They had decided to wait until they were home so they could discuss everything.

"I think that we can. We both have been working really hard and saving money. Daycare is not cheap. Nicky has been telling me what it's costing them for one kid and I multiplied that number by three and it's insane. Basically, for if you go back to work, your paycheck will pay for the daycare and there is no point."

"But Eddie with three kids, especially baby's, things are going to get way more expensive, diapers, formula, clothes. Will your salary be enough?" Janet loved the idea of being a stay at home mom but she wanted to make sure that they could provide for their family.

"Best Friend Windows is doing better. We are getting new accounts everyday. I think that we will be fine." Janet looked unconvinced. "Honey, if I didn't think that we could manage then I wouldn't suggest it." Janet believed him. "And I also had another brilliant idea."

"Oh really?"

"You have tons of those smelly candles around and you are always having parties so you can get more so why don't you start selling them. Remember last year when you had that party and I came home before it was over? You sent me to the kitchen until it was over." Janet nodded and smiled, remembering that night. "Well as I was sitting in the kitchen eating and bored, I was listening to the lady selling the candles and she was telling everyone that it was a great job, she made a lot of money and she worked when she wanted to. Janet that would be the perfect job for you. You could party when I'm home and able to take care of the kids."

"Wow. You're really using your brain."

"I'm always using my brain baby. That tumor didn't affect what a great organ my brain is."

"No baby. It didn't." Janet quickly kissed him. "Now while you spent the day thinking about me staying home with them, I have spent the day thing about their rooms. Now if we have two different sexes then two of them can share a room but I haven't figured out what to do if all three of them are the same sex. How do we decide which two would share a room and which one gets its own room? I came to the conclusion that the twins should share a room and then when they get older, we can switch things around. What do you think?"

"You know, I was thinking about that today too." Janet faked a shocked look.

"Wow! Twice in one day. I'm surprised that I don't smell smoke." She said with an evil grin.

Before Janet knew what was happening Eddie had pulled her onto his lap and started tickling her. "Eddie…please…" Janet gasped through her laughter. It never failed, whenever he tickled her, she ended up in hysterics. She laughed so hard that her stomach hurt. While he tickled her he removed her shirt and bra. "What…are…you…doing…?"

"Tickling you." He answered as one of his hands caressed one of her breasts.

"My boobs…not ticklish." She giggled because his other hand was still torturing her.

"Opps, my mistake."

"You don't seem very sorry."

"Trust me, I'm not." He finally stopped tickling her and he placed his lips on her neck, softly kissing her.

"We were…hmmm…talking about the nurseries…" Janet moaned.

"It can wait."

"But we should…"

"Woman would you please shut up?" He asked with a grin and Janet giggled. "I'm trying to get laid and you're making it difficult."

"Well I'm sorry but your intentions just weren't clear."

"Well I'm going to make my intentions damn clear." He pushed her off of his lap, stood up, shredded his clothes and then pulled off Janet's pants and underwear. Before he could climb back on the couch Janet was up on her feet, naked in front of him. "Now what part of my intentions are not clear?" He asked with a grin on his face.

"Your intentions are clear. You want to have sex. What wasn't clear was the position you wished to have sex so I decided to take the choice away from you." She walked in front of him and pushed him down on the couch.

"Are you giving me a ride?" Eddie's eyes sparkled in delight.

"Oh yeah." With a grin, she straddled his legs and sank down on hip with a groan. As soon as Janet began thrusting herself on him, Eddie's hands immediately went to her hips so he could help her move faster. "No. No. No." She scolded, placing her hands on top of his to stop their actions.

"What the hell?" He growled. He was inside of her and he wanted to move.

"Let me do the work."

"Please god, do something." He begged.

"I'm going to do something all right. I'm going to make you feel good." She placed a breast in his mouth, hoping to keep him distracted and he immediately began to suck so she began to move slowly over her shaft with the occasional rotating of the hips, giving them both extreme pleasure.

"God…Janet…" Eddie grunted. He was so close to his orgasm and he couldn't sit still any longer. Not caring about the consequences, he took his hands off of her ass where they had been caressing, put them around her hips and he began to thrust into her hard and fast. At this point Janet was close as well so she didn't fight him. She just placed her hands on his shoulders for stability and enjoyed the ride until they both came with a cry of relief.

Janet stayed on top of Eddie, the two of them gently sharing kisses until they had enough strength to lie down on the couch and enjoy some post-orgasmic cuddling. "Now before we got distracted we were talking about the nurseries." Janet probed as Eddie covered them up with a blanket.

"I think that you were right."

"Of course I am. I usually am."

"If we have two of the same sexes then those two should share a room but if all three babies are the same sex they should all share a room because it won't be fair for one kid to have its own room."

"I really don't want to squeeze all three kids into one room."

"We won't be squeezing. If all three babies are the same sex I want to tear down the wall between the two rooms and make one huge room and before you ask, it really doesn't cost a lot to tear down a wall."

"I think that is a perfect idea." Janet lifted her head, kissed him soundly.

"I know you're nervous about having three babies." Eddie told her when they broke apart. He knew her so well.

"I am. Besides the fact that it's very overwhelming I am so afraid that I won't be able to be a good enough mom to all three babies at once." He knew that was her biggest concern but he had no worries. He knew that she was going to make a wonderful mother whether they have one child or ten.

"Baby, you're going to make a great mom. You're right. It's going to be very overwhelming but we're in this together and we are going to raise the happiest three kids in Knights Ridge."

"How did you know what I was thinking?"

"Cause I know you sweetheart and I know you worry about things like that."

"I love you Eddie."

"I love you too." Eddie scooted down the couch and kissed her belly. "I love you guys too."

* * *

Over the next few months Janet's pregnancy became common knowledge throughout the small town of Knights Ridge, not because they told everyone they saw but Janet was showing very early on. In fact, by week twenty, Janet looked like she was an easy seven months. Once people found out that Janet and Eddie were having triplets most of the town started dropping off used baby items that they no longer needed. By Janet's fifteenth week they already had three cribs, three highchairs and tons of miscellaneous items.

Janet had to quit working when she was four months along. When she was on her feet for excess periods of time her feet swelled up and it became painful to stand. On her last night at the bar, Sully threw Janet a small party where some people, the regulars mostly, brought in gifts for the babies. Sully had also told his patrons that if they brought in a pack of diapers, any size that their drinks would be on the house so by the end of the night, even with three kids, Janet and Eddie would not have to buy very many diapers.

When Janet quit working she began going stir-crazy. She has never been a person to be idle so not working was slowly driving her insane. She cleaned the would be nurseries, she cleaned her house, she worked on scrapbook albums from their wedding, cooked Eddie breakfast, lunch and dinner but it wasn't enough. She couldn't wait to start decorating the nursery or nurseries but that had to wait until they found out the sexes of their babies and that wasn't until twenty weeks. Finally, before she went totally insane she started selling candles a couple of times a week and that seemed to pacify her.

Now finally, twenty weeks came and they were back at Dr. Hatley's office, a place they seemed to be living at lately, so they could hopefully see the sexes. At this point, they really didn't care what sexes were; they just wanted three healthy babies. "Everything good Janet?" Dr. Hatley asked as he applied the gel to her growing belly.

"Everything is good." She confirmed.

"Glad to hear it." He turned the machine on. "Let's see if we can tell what we have." He moved the wand around while Janet and Eddie watched in amazement. The picture on the screen had changed so much since the last, her first ultrasound. On the previous test, they couldn't see anything that was recognizable to them; now today, they easily saw one of their children's faces and this baby had its thumb in its mouth. The doctor moved the wand down and they saw hands. Eddie and Janet were in awe, looking at their child.

"Is that what I think it is?" Eddie asked, staring at the screen where the picture was frozen.

"If you think it's a penis then you are correct."

"Tall and proud just like his dad." Eddie quipped.

"EDDIE!" Janet gasped, hitting him on his arm and he just laughed.

"That was the baby that isn't identical. Let's move on." He moved the wand and this time the proud parents again saw the baby's face but this baby just looked like it was sleeping. "Do you see anything?" He asked them. Eddie squinted but couldn't find another penis.

"Is this one a girl?" Janet asked.

"Nope." The doctor pointed to the screen and then they saw it. "Another penis so you have another boy."

"So that means that our third child is a boy as well since this one is identical?"

"That is correct but let's see what we can see." A few minutes later they saw their third child's face and he was in the middle of a yawn. Tears filled his mother's eyes. "It's a match. This one is a boy as well. Congratulations you two. You are the proud parents of three boys. Are you up for the challenge?"

"Bring it on." Janet answered with a grin.

"We really should discuss names." Eddie said later that night as he sat on the couch with his wife, rubbing her swollen feet. "I do not want the boys having rhyming names. No Ted, Fred or Jed. It's just cheesy."

"But baby, I had my heart set on Fred." Janet joked.

"Not happening."

"Well Jed isn't so bad and actually it's part of both of our names, J from me and the Ed from you."

"Really Janet?"

"No. I'm just messing with you. I do have one name in mind." He quirked an eyebrow at her. "I'm being serious."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Jacob Edward, from your dream."

"Honey, we don't have to name one of the babies after our son from my dream."

"I want to. I really love the name Jacob."

"I'll agree to it if you agree to one name that I have picked out."

"What is it?"

"Joshua, after your father." Tears filled Janet's eyes.

"I love that."

"Jacob will have our initials so we should make Joshua's middle name start with an E and then we also need to pick the third boy's name with the same initials."

"Daddy 's middle name is Evan." A few tears fell from Janet's eyes. "It's meant to be." She whispered. Eddie leaned forward and wiped the tears away. For the next fifteen minutes they threw out boy names that started with the letter "J" but there wasn't a name that both of them loved. Janet had one name that had been hanging around in the back of her mind but she wasn't sure if Eddie would like it.

"What about Jackson?"

"That's really close to my dad."

"I know that you don't want any of the boys to have your family name, which I totally get but Jacob will have your middle name, Joshua will be named after my dad so maybe this third boy should be named after your dad, in a way. Not John Edward IV but since your dad goes by Jack I think that Jackson would be perfect."

"I'm assuming that you have a middle name picked out?" Janet nodded proudly. "Care to share?"

"I think our third baby should be named Jackson Elliott." A big grin crossed his face.

"I think my dad will get a kick out of it."

"Is that a yes?"

"It's a yes."

Over the next month they continued to get ready for their boys to join them. The weekend after they found out that they were having all boys, Eddie, with the help of his friends and dad turned the two rooms into one huge nursery. Janet really didn't want a theme like animals or sports so she just chose a bold blue color to paint the walls and she stuck clingons of various shapes in all different bright, bold colors and sizes all over the walls. Knowing that the triplets were all individual children, she didn't match their bedding. She just picked, plain, simple, bright bedding that was different for each crib.

Eddie sent her away during the weekend that he worked on the nursery because he didn't want her inhaling the paint fumes and when she returned home, she cried because she was extremely hormonal and simply because it was beautiful. All three cribs were set up against one wall, evenly spaced out so there was room to maneuver. Across from the cribs, on the opposite wall was their dressers and above those dressers, hanging on the wall were their names craved out of wood and painted, something Eddie made them in his dad's garage. On either side of the crib in the middle was the two changing tables that they had so if needed Eddie and Janet could change and dress more than one baby at once. Janet's favorite part of the room was the rocking chair in the corner. She expected to spend a lot of time in that chair and she couldn't wait.

"On three honey." Janet was now six months pregnant huge and miserable but one would never know it. She was always smiling and never complained about her ongoing back pain, swollen body parts, or about the fact that one of the boys was always positioned on top of her bladder so she had to pee every five minutes, or one of them was against her diaphragm which was making it hard to breathe. She never complained when she struggled to get out bed because her big belly made that once simple feat much more difficult now and she never complained that she wasn't getting much sleep because one of her children, usually more than one, was moving and kicking her.

"Okay." Janet smiled sweetly at her husband who was helping her out of bed, like he did most mornings and during the middle of the night when she had to pee. He never complained about it though. He would do anything for his wife.

"One. Two. Three." Eddie gently pulled Janet into a sitting position. "How did you sleep?"

"For the few hours that one of your babies wasn't kicking me, I slept like a rock." Eddie leaned down and kissed her.

"Thank you." He whispered.

"For what?" She asked as she stood up.

"For going through all this for us."

"It's not a big deal."

"Liar."

"We should probably leave in an hour. I'm going to shower." Eddie grinned as he watched Janet waddle to the bathroom.

"I'll be there in a few minutes." And he was. Fifteen minutes later he was in the bathroom, pulling back the shower curtain. "Ready?" Janet nodded and pulled the shower down into the tub, still running and placed a leg on the edge of the tub. For the past six weeks, Janet's belly had grown so big that she was unable to shave her legs so Eddie happily stepped in. Her skin was always so soft and her legs are one of his many favorite things about her. It was just another reason for him to feel her legs. He thoroughly loved shaving her legs for her but there was one major downfall. By the time he was done, he was always so turned on and right now, they were not making love. In fact, it had been a few weeks since they last made love. At this point, Janet's belly was so big that there really wasn't a position that she found comfortable and Eddie understood that. With everything that Janet was going through to carry their babies, he could sacrifice but he couldn't wait until the time came when they could make love again.

After eating a quick breakfast, Eddie went out to warm the van then returned to put on a pair of his shoes on Janet's poor swollen feet since she couldn't see her feet. "Thank you baby." Now it was her turn to thank him.

"It's giving me practice. In a few months, there are going to be six feet to put shoes on." Janet sat forward and cupped his cold face in her hands.

"Not for the shoes; for everything. I feel like I have become so helpless these last few weeks and you have been so supportive. Not many husbands would do what you have done for me and I am so lucky that I have you. You have helped make a sometimes unpleasant situation pleasant and I love you so much for that." She then pulled him to her face and kissed him.

"You don't have to thank me for doing what comes naturally to me which is taking care of you." He pulled her to his feet and helped her into her new winter coat that she had recently bought because, like everything else, her normal coat didn't fit. Once he was confident that she or his boys wouldn't freeze on the way to the car, he grabbed her hand and together they walked out into the cold, snowy weather. "Careful honey." He warned.

"I will." He only let go of her hand for an instant to open her door and help her in and when she took a step towards the open door she slipped on some ice and fell to the ground, landing on her butt, hard.

"Of my God, Janet honey, are you okay?" In an instant Eddie was kneeling down in front of her, wearing a worried expression.

"I think so." She answered after a minute. She wasn't hurt, just embarrassed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let go of your hand when it's so slick out here.

"It was an accident."

"Here, let me help you up."

"Just be careful. I don't need you falling too."

"I will." He easily pulled her too her feet and then did a visual exam for any broken bones. "Do you want to change?"

"No. My coat took the brunt of the damage and besides, you know how long it takes me to get dressed anymore and if I try to change we'll be late."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to get sick."

"I'm fine baby."

On the drive to Dr. Hatley's office the adrenaline from the fall wore off and she began to hurt, mainly her lower back. When she began to shift in her seat, trying to make herself comfortable Eddie became concerned.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Janet, please don't lie."

"I'm just a little sore. I guess that I just landed a little harder then I initially thought."

"Well I'm having Dr. Hatley give you a full exam."

"That's not really necessary."

"Yes it is so don't even think about arguing with me."

"Have you been practicing that? You sounded really dad-like." Eddie laughed in spite of his worry.

Eddie continued to drive while watching Janet out of the corner of his eye. By the time they arrived at the doctor's office she looked like she was in a lot of pain. She even had to stop walking at one point until her muscle spasm passed. He really wanted to take her to the emergency room to be checked out in case she did some real damage to her back.

"Will you help me up on the table?" Janet asked Eddie as soon as she had changed in a gown for her exam.

"Baby I'm taking you to the hospital when we leave here. You shouldn't be in this much pain from a simple fall." She was biting her lip to keep from crying because the pain in her back was getting worse.

"Let's see what Dr. Hatley has to say."

"Janet he is a female doctor. I would rather…" Eddie never got to finish his sentence because the doctor walked in.

"What's going on Janet? Maryann told me that you are having some back pain."

"She fell on the ice on the way here and since then she has been having muscles spasms in her back." Eddie explained.

"I need you to lie back and get in the stirrups so I can examine you." He instructed. "Janet, I need you to listen to me. I think those muscle spasms that you are having are contractions."

"Too soon." She whispered.

"Is it because she fell?"

"It may have been. On a scale from one to ten how bad is the pain with ten being the worse?"

"Six or six and a half but it just seems to be getting worse."

"I know that you are uncomfortable but I need you to relax and take a deep breath." Janet did as she was told while silent tears fell from her eyes.

"Eddie it's too soon. They aren't ready." She whispered to her husband while the doctor examined her. Eddie wanted to respond, to tell her that she and the boys would be fine but he didn't know that and he couldn't lie to her.

"Janet you are in labor. You are three centimeters dilated. I'm going to call an ambulance to get you to the hospital and Eddie you are going to follow her carefully. Once you get to the hospital you are going to be given a medication to stop your labor."

"What if the medicine doesn't work?" Eddie managed to ask, his voice, full of fear.

"Let's just take it one step at a time." Dr. Hatley told him.


	26. Chapter 26

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"My wife was brought here." Eddie said breathlessly to the clerk at the information desk. "She's six months pregnant and she went into labor." The clerk could see the nervous anxiety on Eddie's handsome face.

"Her name sir."

Who's name?" Eddie was not thinking straight.

"Your wife."

"Janet."

"Janet what?" The clerk asked patiently and Eddie gave her a confused look. After a few seconds, his brain registered what she was asking.

"Latekka. Janet Latekka. L-A-T-E-K-K-A." The clerk began typing.

"She is on the maternity floor, room 4312."

"Thank you." Eddie rushed towards the elevators. Seeing that both elevators were close to the top floor Eddie couldn't wait. He had to be with Janet so he found the stairs and took them two at a time until he reached the fourth floor. He followed the signs and quickly found room 4312, Janet's room. The door was shut and he was tempted to just walk in but he didn't want to walk in because she may be in the middle of an exam or changing so he knocked.

"Just a minute." A voice he didn't recognize called out to him. Eddie couldn't stand still. He began pacing in front of the room, trying to calm himself down so he could support Janet. A few agonizingly long minutes the door opened and a nurse stepped out. "Mr. Latekka?"

"Yeah. Is she okay?"

"She's been asking for you." Eddie brushed passed the nurse and entered Janet's room.

"Eddie."

"Hey honey. Sorry I'm late." Janet was in a hospital gown, had an IV in her arm, a blood pressure cuff on her opposite arm and he belly had monitors on it. "How are you?"

"I'm still having contractions but I'm still only three centimeters dilated."

"Why the hell haven't they started the medicine to stop the contractions?"

"They just got the IV in. The doctor hasn't even been in." Janet grabbed his hand and placed it on her belly. "It's so hard. It's never been this hard."

"Where in the hell is the damn doctor?"

"Did you call my mom and your mom?"

"I did. Your mom was ready to jump on the next flight out here but I held her off. I told her that there is no reason to come yet. If the contractions don't stop then I will call her and I held mom off from coming over until there was some kind of news, hopefully good news." Janet nodded and then she suddenly gripped his hand as another contraction ripped through her body. "You need to breathe sweetheart." Her face was bright red and she was holding her breath through the pain.

"I can't have these babies. Not yet Eddie." Janet said once the contraction passed.

"I'm going to find out what in the hell is going on."

"NO." Janet practically shouted. "Don't leave me."

"Okay. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm so scared. I don't want to be alone."

"You're not alone Janet. I'm here." Eddie pried her fingers away from his so he could grab the chair and pull it next to Janet's bed. Just as Eddie placed his butt in the chair the doctor followed by a nurse walked in. "Finally." Eddie muttered.

"I'm Dr. McCall, Dr. Hatley's partner."

"I think that we would rather have Dr. Hatley. He knows Janet's history. He has been with us since the beginning." Eddie informed the doctor.

"I am Dr. Hatley's partner. We cover each other's patients at the hospital and today is my hospital day." She explained. "I spoke with Dr. Hatley and I am familiar with Janet's case so if it's all right with you I would like to get started on stopping Janet's labor."

"I'm sorry." Eddie said.

"There is no reason to apologize. I can understand your concern for your wife and children."

"Eddie." Janet suddenly gasped. He grabbed her hand and she squeezed it until it was numb as she experienced another contraction.

"Breathe baby." Eddie encouraged but Janet didn't listen. Her only concern was making it through the pain no matter what. As soon as the contraction was over Eddie left her side to go in the bathroom and get a cold rag to mop up the sweat that had formed.

"Thank you." Janet whispered weakly.

"Janet I would like to exam you." Dr. McCall told her. Janet nodded and Eddie and the nurse helped Janet into position. Eddie watched as Janet grimaced in pain as the doctor did her exam. He felt bad for her. She was trying to be so brave but Eddie knew she was scared to death, as was he. "Okay Janet." Dr. McCall began after she finished Janet's exam. "You are about three and a quarter centimeters dilated. You are twenty four weeks along. Now obviously I don't want you to deliver right now. In single pregnancy a child delivered at twenty four weeks can survive. The likelihood of children of multiple births surviving at twenty four weeks is small because they are too small. At this point your children are barely two pounds." A strangled sob escaped from Janet.

"I know how badly you want this children to live so I'm going to do whatever I need to do to make sure you stay pregnant as long as possible or until your due date. Now I'm going to start you on a medication to stop your labor."

"And if the medicine doesn't work will our boys die?" Eddie asked her.

"I can't answer that question. If this first medication doesn't work there are other medications that we can try." Eddie nodded. "I'm also going to give steroids to help speed up their lung development so if they are born they chances of survival increase." Eddie heard Janet groan beside him. She was having another contraction. When it was over tears were falling from her eyes.

"Can she have something for the pain?" Eddie couldn't handle seeing the woman he loved in so much pain.

"Janet I know that you are miserable but I can't give you anything for the pain."

"Why the hell not?" Eddie snapped.

"Eddie don't be rude." Janet chastised.

"I can't give you pain because I need you to be able to tell me if the pain is lessening, increasing or staying the same once we start the medication." Janet just nodded.

Dr. McCall proceeded to list the side effects and possible risks of the medication that she would going to be getting. The risks were minimal, Janet signed the consent form and the nurse hung the IV bag full of medicine. "If you need anything let me know and I'll be back to check on you shortly." Janet nodded, Dr. McCall gave Janet a smile and she and the nurse left the room.

"Eddie." Janet said softly once they were alone. Eddie looked into her blue eyes and saw that they were full of fear.

"Yeah?"

"I'm so scared."

"I am too." He didn't know what else to say to her. He wanted to tell her everything is going to be fine but he didn't know that everything would be fine and he refused to lie to her.

Six hours later Janet's labor had finally stopped and she was sleeping. The past six hours were hell for both of them. With every contraction Janet thought that she was going to lose her boys and it was unbearable. She fought so hard to get pregnant and once she got pregnant she had done everything right, followed all the rules from the book and to lose these babies that was more then she could bear.

With every contraction that Janet experienced Eddie also terrified that they would lose their babies but right now, the worse thing for him was watching Janet in so much pain. He had seen movies where women in labor scream during their contractions but not his Janet. She suffered silently through each painful contraction only allowing a few tears to fall. He was grateful when she finally broke down and cried. She was on her side and he was rubbing her back when her body began to shake. He didn't try to soothe her. She was both mentally and physically exhausted and he knew that she just needed to cry. He just continued to rub her back until she cried herself to sleep.

"How is she?" Dr. McCall asked walking back in the room to check on her patient.

"She's been sleeping for the past two hours."

"I'm awake." Janet mumbled as she attempted to roll over. Eddie was immediately on his feet helping her. "Where is my bed control?" She asked sleepily.

"Right here honey. Do you want to sit up?" She nodded and Eddie raised the bed. "Is that okay?" Another nod.

"How are you feeling Janet?" Dr. McCall asked.

"Tired and sore."

"Normal after going through labor. Are you feeling any twinges or tightening in your stomach or lower back?"

"No nothing. Does that mean that I am out of labor?"

"You are no longer in labor."

"Thank God. When can I go home?"

"Not until after the babies are born."

"Excuse me?" Janet could not have heard the doctor correctly.

"Your pregnancy is considered high risk. You are carrying triplets, you went into pre-mature labor at twenty four weeks and your blood pressure is high. There is a very real possibility that if you return to the life you were living yesterday that you will go back into labor so you need to remain on bed rest until you deliver."

"That could be months." Eddie gasped.

"I hope that is the case. The longer the triplets stay inside the better their chances are."

"How restricted is my bed rest?" Janet asked. She was taking the news better then Eddie was.

"For the next few weeks I don't want you out of bed at all so that means bedpans and sponge baths."

"And after those few weeks, what happens?"

"If there are no contractions during that time then I'll let you up to go to the bathroom, shower and walk up and down the halls under the supervision of as nurse of course." Dr. McCall explained. "I know that bed rest doesn't sound like much fun…"

"I'll do whatever I have to do to keep my babies safe and healthy. My boys are all that matters right now."

"If you need anything, let the nurse know and I will be paged."

"Thank you Dr. McCall, for everything you did for my family today." Janet told her.

"It's my job."

"It's much more to Eddie and me."

Dr. Hatley shared a few more parting words and then Eddie and Janet were alone and Eddie did what he had wanted to do for hours. He leaned forward and kissed her softly. When they broke apart Eddie moved to Janet's belly. "Where are they?"

"One is here." Janet laid a hand on her belly and Eddie kissed right next to it. "Right here." Again Eddie kissed her belly. "And one is hanging out up here." Eddie kissed his third child.

"You guys really scared us today but you did really good by staying were you need to be. Mommy and I can't wait to meet you but you're not ready. You need to grow bigger so please guys please stay where you belong so you can grow big and strong like your daddy."

"Oh." Janet gasped and Eddie looked at her with panic in his brown eyes.

"What? What's wrong? Are you having another contraction?"

"No. All three of them are kicking me." Janet said with a giggle. She grabbed Eddie's hands and placed it on her belly.

"Wow. This is amazing." Eddie was in awe every time he felt one of his boys move inside of Janet.

"You should feel it from my end." Suddenly Janet's stomach growled.

"Hungry?"

"Starving." She batted her eyes at him.

"You want me to go to Sully's don't you?"

"Would you mind?"

"Of course not. I can stop at home and grab whatever you need."

"I don't need anything tonight. You can bring me my stuff when you come back tomorrow after work."

"No way in hell am I going to work while you are in the hospital."

"Why in the hell would you stay here all day when I'm fine."

"If something happens to you I need to be here."

"Eddie if I go into labor again during the day when you are at work you could be here before anything happens." He shook his head. "Eddie we need the money. We are now going to have my hospital bills on top of everything else. We can't afford you not working."

"Dammit Janet, I can provide for my family." He snapped and tears filled Janet's eyes. "Awe hell Janet. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"I know that you will provide for us. I know that you will do whatever it takes to make sure that the boys and I have whatever we need, even if it means that you work two or three jobs."

"Damn right I will."

"Baby, I don't want you to have to work two or three jobs. We have gone through so much to have these boys so we can be parents. I want you to come home in the evenings after work and I want you home during the weekends with us so we can reap the benefits of parenthood together. We want these boys so much, we went through so much to have them and all I want is for you to experience parenthood with me. I don't want you to miss anything because you are working all of the time. I'm going to spend the next few months lying in this hospital bed so the least that you can do is go to work."

"All right. You win." Janet smiled triumphantly. "As long as I'm the one giving you your sponge bath when I get home from work."

"Eddie there is no one else I want to give me my sponge bath." Eddie grinned. "One more thing I need you to do for me."

"Anything."

"I want you to go home and sleep in our bed at night."

"No."

"You just said that you would do anything for me."

"Not that."

"Eddie you can't sleep in that chair cot thing for months. It's not comfortable, you won't get a good night sleep, you'll be tired at work and more likely to hurt yourself and besides it won't be good for your back." Janet brought up some valid points.

"I will sleep at home during the week but on Friday's and Saturday's I will be sleeping here next to you."

"That is an acceptable compromise."

"I hate the thought of not sleeping in the same bed as you for the next few months." He said miserably.

"Of come on. These past few weeks I haven't been the easiest person to sleep next to, me and my giant belly."

"I love waking up, spooning you with my hand on your giant belly feeling our boys moving around. It's the best way to wake up."

"I love you Eddie."

"I love you too sweetheart."

"Good. Now go get me some food."

"Yes ma'am." Eddie said with a laugh. He knew better then to keep his hungry, pregnant wife waiting.

* * *

"Merry Christmas sleepyhead." Eddie greeted Janet with a grin on Christmas morning. She had been in the hospital on bed rest for two and a half weeks but her contractions had not resurfaced. She was bored and missed Eddie during the day which made her treasure the evenings and weekends when he was at the hospital with her.

Eddie had been great, which was no surprise to Janet. He brought her small things from home to make her room feel somewhat homey. He stopped at the library everyday and picked up books for her because she spent her days passing the long hours reading. Even though Janet never came out and said it, Eddie knew that Janet was devastated that she had to spend Christmas in the hospital so one night, on his allotted nights that he was staying the night, when Janet was sleeping Eddie decorated Janet's room with a small tree and lights he stored at the nurse's station so he could surprise her. When she woke up in the middle of the night to pee and she saw the tree and lights she burst into tears, happy tears. She knew she shouldn't be surprised that Eddie decorated her room because he is the most thoughtful man that she had ever known but she was. She was surprised, touched and had never felt more loved.

"Merry Christmas." Janet answered with a yawn.

"Sleep well?"

"Sure I did."

"Were they kicking?"

"All night but it's just preparing me for when they are born. Maybe I should start waking you up when they wake me up so that way you can be used to being awake during the night too."

"Nah. I'm good."

"Good morning. Merry Christmas." Janet's day nurse Laura greeted.

"Merry Christmas to you too."

"So you drew the short straw to work on Christmas huh?" Eddie quipped and Laura just laughed and placed a cup of orange juice next to Janet.

"How are you feeling this morning?"

"I feel kinda blah."

"What? Why in the hell didn't you tell me?" Eddie asked Janet.

"Because I just woke up."

"Can you give me a little more detail besides blah?" Laura inquired.

"Not really. Something just doesn't feel right."

"Okay. Well let's check your vital signs and we'll go from there." Janet nodded and Laura proceeded to check Janet's temperature, blood pressure and all of the fetal monitors. "Everything looks good. Have you been to the bathroom yet?"

"No. Not yet."

"Can you go?"

"Can I go? Of course I can go. I always have one of my children pressing against my bladder."

"I want a urine sample from you." Janet nodded. "You know the drill and everything you need is already in the bathroom."

"Come on sweetheart. Let me help you." Eddie assisted his very pregnant wife out of bed and into her bathroom. "Do you need anything?"

"No. I think I can manage." Eddie quickly kissed her and left her to do her thing.

"What's wrong with Janet?" He asked as soon as he shut the door.

"I honestly have no idea. It may be nothing, just normal pregnancy blah. If she is feeling the way that she does when Dr. Hatley comes in, I'm sure he will order more tests."

Five minutes later Janet came out of the bathroom and handed Laura the cup of urine. "God, everything takes so much longer anymore." Everyone laughed as Eddie helped Janet back into bed.

"If you need anything or if you get worse let me know."

"Thanks but I'm sure that I will be fine."

"Merry Christmas and drink your orange juice." Laura said as she left the room.

"Speaking of Christmas, I haven't gotten my Christmas kiss yet." Janet told Eddie with a grin.

"No I guess you haven't." With a tender smile he set down on the bed next to Janet, facing her. "Merry Christmas Janet." Eddie reached out cupped Janet's face in both of his hands, leaned forward and they shared a slow, tender kiss until Laura knocked on the room, causing the couple to pull apart.

"Sorry to interrupt your Christmas celebration." She apologized.

"It wasn't our Christmas celebration. It was our good morning." Eddie explained.

"Now that's a reason to wake up in the morning. Maybe I should suggest that to my husband."

"I recommend it. It really is a great way to start your day." Janet said.

"Janet, I spoke with Dr. Hatley and he wants me to draw some blood."

"Why? What's wrong?" Eddie immediately asked.

"The urine sample turned up some abnormalities."

"What kind of abnormalities?"

"Eddie, please relax." Janet asked her husband.

"We can't make a conclusive diagnosis until we have the blood tests and when we get those results back Dr. Hatley will be in to go over them with you." That was Laura's way of telling Eddie not to ask any more questions that she couldn't answer and he got the hint and let Laura draw Janet's blood in peace.

"Great. Now what's going on?" Eddie mumbled

"I'm sure it's no big deal."

"It's more than a big deal. It must…"

"Eddie baby, it's Christmas. Our boys are healthy and until we hear differently, I am fine as well. Can we just concentrate on those facts and enjoy our Christmas together?"

"I'm sorry Janet. I am just so worried about you and the boys and when there is something wrong with you I can't think of anything else."

"I love you too." Eddie grinned and kissed her.

"So it looks like Santa left you a present under the tree." He told her when they broke apart.

"I'm surprised I didn't hear him come in."

"He's slick like that." When Eddie went to go get Janet's gift that was under the tree, Janet adjusted herself on the bed so she could get into the drawer where she had Eddie's gift. As she leaned over she suddenly felt very clammy and shaking. She could hear Eddie talking to her but he sounded so far away.

"Janet what's wrong?" He saw that she was pale. Dropping her gift on the bed next to her, he put his arm around her, to get her attention but she brushed him off. In a nervous panic he hit the call button.

"Can I help you?" Laura's voice came over the intercom.

"Something is wrong with Janet."

"I'll be right in."

"Janet, talk to me." Janet had no control over her actions as she pushed Eddie away. "Dammit, you're scaring me."

"What's going on Eddie?" Laura asked.

"I don't know. Look at her." Laura walked over and pulled Janet's hand out as Janet fought her.

"Eddie hold her harm still please." Eddie did as Laura asked and she quickly poked Janet's finger and then she grabbed the orange juice that was left untouched. "Drink the orange juice Janet." Laura placed the cup up to Janet's lips but Janet just spit it out. "Drink the juice." After a little more struggle Janet finally drank the orange juice and after a few minutes Janet seemed to return to normal except that she was now crying softly.

"Shhh. It's okay sweetheart." Eddie crooned as he held Janet tightly.

"What happened?" She asked.

"You're blood sugar dropped too low. It was 40 when I checked which is why you should have drunk the juice when I told you too."

"The blood sugar. That's what's wrong with Janet isn't it?" Eddie asked.

"I believe that the slight problem with your blood sugar that we have been watching has turned into a major problem." Over the past week Janet's blood sugar levels began to jump around and she was diagnosed with gestational diabetes so Dr. Hatley and Dr. McCall began to keep an eye on it by adjusting her diet and until now, it seemed to be working. "This morning you had an excess of blood glucose in your urine sample so Dr. Hatley ordered a blood glucose test. Once those results come back we'll know what's going on." At that moment Janet's breakfast was brought in. "Now to help things along you need to eat every bit of this tasty breakfast."

"Yes ma'am." Janet sniffed.

Once Laura left Janet began to pick at her breakfast. "Will you quit staring at me?" Janet snapped.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"Why don't you go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat?"

"I'm not really hungry."

"Bullshit. You just want to hover."

"I'm not hovering."

"Look. I want to eat my breakfast in peace without you watching my every freaking move. Is that too damn much to ask?"

"Fine. Bon appetite." He stormed out of the room.

"Everything all right?" Laura asked as he strode past the nurses station.

"Yes. Everything is peachy. I'm going to get something to eat."

* * *

Two hours later Dr. Hatley was walking into Janet's room. Since Eddie returned from the cafeteria Janet had been sleeping and Eddie had been staring at the tiny Christmas tree. So far, this was turning out to be one crappy Christmas. "Janet, honey, Dr. Hatley is here." Eddie said, shaking her softly.

"Ummph." She groaned. Eddie helped her sit up. "I gotta pee. Robe please." Eddie helped Janet with her robe and then out of bed. He started to help her to the bathroom but she stopped him. "I'm not a cripple. I've got it." Eddie quickly backed off and returned to his chair.

"It's not you Eddie. She's been cooped up in this room for weeks. She very pregnant and miserable and taking it out on you." Eddie just nodded.

Ten minutes later Janet came out of the bathroom and struggled to get back into bed and Eddie made to move to help her. He wasn't in the mood to get his head bitten off, again. "So I heard that you have had a rough morning Janet." Dr. Hatley said.

"I've had better days."

"I have your blood work results back. Your gestational diabetes has worsened. We've tried to control it with diet but it's not working anymore. The normal second step would be to treat it with medication but Janet, you are far from normal. If you go without eating, your sugar drops extremely low and after you eat it gets very high. After your breakfast your sugar was over two hundred so I need to start giving you insulin."

"Last week you said that this only occurs during pregnancy. Will it go away after the boys are born?"

"It should but there is a small chance that it will remain after the birth. Now the insulin injections won't hurt, it's a very tiny needle and you're probably going to be getting three to four injections a day along with finger sticks to check your sugar. Do you have any questions?"

"No."

"Janet I know things are rough right now but it's not going to be forever." Janet nodded. "Okay, I'm going to check on the babies and then I'll get out of your hair so you can enjoy your Christmas."

Twenty minutes later, Dr. Hatley had confirmed that the triplets were okay, Janet had her first insulin shot and she and Eddie were alone, not speaking. Janet was trying to sleep but she couldn't. "I'm sorry Eddie. I'm sorry for the way that I have treated you today. It's Christmas, it's supposed to be a wonderful day and I've ruined it." Eddie went and sat on the bed and turned her head to face him.

"You're right. I have been hovering." Eddie watched as tears filled her eyes.

"I'm so tired of being in this damn hospital, in this damn bed. I hate that we have to spend Christmas in this damn room." She burst into tears and Eddie took her in his arms. He knew she would break eventually. Her spirits had been too good. "I just want to be able to walk around my own house again. I want to sleep in my bed next to my husband. I just want to go home." She sobbed in her husband's arms. "What kind of mother am I? To keep our boys healthy I need to stay here in the hospital and right now, they are healthy and instead of being grateful I am being selfish, thinking of only myself and what I want."

"It's okay Janet. Everything you are feeling is normal."

"I don't deserve to be a mother."

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course you deserve to me a mother. This pregnancy has not been easy for you. It's a miracle of modern science that you got pregnant and once that happened you puked for months and then you got huge because you are carrying three babies instead of one and everything became harder for you and the most amazing thing is you haven't complained once until today and only after you endured six hours of labor and been in the hospital on bed rest for two weeks. Most women would have complained as soon as they started puking but not you sweetheart. You have had the best attitude, the attitude of a mother. You have suffered and sacrificed so much for our boys so you deserve to be their mother. Hell, Jacob, Joshua and Jackson couldn't possibly have a better mother."

"How could I be such a bitch on Christmas? I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. It's all good sweetheart. It's all good. Now do you want the present that Santa left for you since you have been such a good girl?"

"Yes I would as long as you open your gift. It's in the drawer next to my bed." Eddie moved away from his wife and got their gifts. "You go first." Janet requested.

"Okay." Eddie has collected Hot Wheels cars since he was a child so Janet painstakingly searched the internet and bought him two old cars that he didn't have that were still in their original package.

"Janet these are awesome. I don't have these cars. How the hell did you know?"

"I have a great memory. You sat me down one night about a month after we stared dating and you pulled out everyone of your cars and then you told me about every car that you wanted."

"I can't believe that you remembered that. You are amazing. How did you fine these?"

"The internet. It's kind of cheesy to give a grown man toy cars for Christmas so I hope you like it." Eddie put down his precious cars and took Janet's hands in his own.

"It's not cheesy Janet. It's a wonderful gift. You remembered something I told you years ago and you got me something that is very important to me. I love it. Thank you baby." Eddie actually had tears in his eyes. It may have just been toy cars but it meant more to him then he could have expressed. "Now open your present." Eddie handed Janet a long, rectangular box, a box that Janet knew contained jewelry. She slowly unwrapped and opened the box and found a mother and child necklace.

"Eddie, it's beautiful," She had seen those necklaces in magazines and longed for one but she never told Eddie. "How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"How did you know that I was wishing for this?"

"Santa told me." Janet raised her eyebrows at her husband. "I saw you looking at them in the magazine. May I put it on?" She nodded and Eddie latched her necklace on and grabbed her mirror.

"I love it and I love you. Thank you. Merry Christmas Eddie."

"Merry Christmas Janet. I love you too."


	27. Chapter 27

**I own none of the characters of October Road **

Janet Latekka was sick and tired of lying in a hospital bed. She was admitted two months ago, eight very long weeks and with everyday that passed she became more and more agitated. She was tired of reading books and magazines and she couldn't handle anymore daytime television. Soap operas drove her mad. She was thirty two weeks pregnant, getting bigger and more miserable everyday. Her belly was so big that it was hard to move, not that she was able to move much in her bed but every movement that was allowed was difficult. The boys were always kicking her, hard and they were pushed up against her diaphragm which was making breathing hard and painful. She actually now had a nasal canula in her nose giving her extra oxygen. Her feet were so swollen that they hurt so her doctor gave her a water pill to help with that and it did help, a little but she had to pee all of the time, another once simple task that become complicated because of her giant belly and her bed rest restrictions and her legs were always hot because they were covered with a machine that stimulated circulation so she wouldn't get blood clots. Janet was miserable and couldn't wait to get her boys out of her.

She went into premature labor again at twenty eight weeks but the doctors were able to easily stop it and she ended up five and a half centimeters dilated. Dr. Hatley wanted Janet to at least hit thirty weeks and after that point when she went into labor he wasn't go to stop it. Janet anxiously awaited the thirty week mark because she knew it wouldn't be long but nothing has happened and she was still pregnant. These boys were going to be stubborn just like their father. Janet begged Dr. Hatley to let her go home when she made it to thirty weeks but he refused because she was also suffering from pre-eclampsia, high blood pressure. Janet had heard about women who breezed through their pregnancies, loved being pregnant and couldn't wait to do it all over but not Janet. She couldn't wait not be pregnant and she knew that she was never going to put herself through another one.

* * *

"Oh God." Janet moaned. She had just been woken up from a dead sleep by a severe, sharp pain in her stomach, most likely labor. She reached over and pressed her call button. It amazed her that she had been in labor twice already and had forgotten how painful it could really be.

"Janet, what's going on?" Her night nurse, Kelly asked.

"I think that I am in labor." Janet grunted.

"Let's set up the fetal monitor."

"I don't need a God damn monitor to tell me that I am in labor. This is the third time that I have been through this and I know what labor is." She snapped.

"You probably are in labor Janet but I have to set up the fetal monitor. Can you roll over on your back please?" Kelly calmly asked.

"Can you raise my bed?"

"Of course." Janet rolled over on her back and Kelly raised her bed and set up the fetal monitor.

"Ahhhhh." Janet moaned as another contraction shot through her.

"You are most definitely in labor." Kelly said ten minutes later.

"Gee really?"

"It looks like your contractions are four to four and a half minutes apart. Now I want to see how dilated you are."

"Great."

"It's time to assume the position." Kelly pulled out the stirrups and Janet placed her legs in them. She used to be modest but that was before she began this pregnancy journey. So many people had seen and had their hands inside her vagina that she just didn't care anymore. In fact she hadn't had underwear on since she was admitted to the hospital. "Seven centimeters."

"Oh my God. Already? How much time do I have?"

"There is no way to predict how long labor will last. It could be an hour, two hours or a lot longer. Would you like me to call your husband?"

"No. I'll do it. What about Dr. Hatley. When will he be here?"

"I'm going to page him and he'll be here closer to your delivery."

"When can I get my epidural?" The last couple contractions have been a bitch.

"You can't."

"What in the hell do you mean that I can't? I want a God Damn epidural."

"After six and a half centimeters you can't have one."

"That's ridiculous. Do you have any idea how much damn pain I am in?"

"As a matter of fact I do. I have three children myself but you can't have an epidural. I will get an order for a pain shot for you."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Janet the sooner that you let me call Dr. Hatley the sooner I can get an order for a pain shot."

"Please call the doctor." Janet begged. She couldn't take much more pain.

Once Kelly left the room Janet grabbed the phone. She knew that another contraction was due and she didn't want to call Eddie during a contraction so she braced for the next contraction and one minute later it hit her. "Son of a bitch." She groaned. It took her breath away. With a shaking hand, she dialed her home number.

"Lo?" A very sleepy Eddie answered.

"Eddie."

"Janet? What time is it?"

"It's two thirty in the morning but does that really matter?"

"What in the hell is going on? Can't you sleep?"

"No I can't because I'm in labor."

"Labor? You're in labor." Eddie suddenly sounded much more awake.

"Yes I am in labor and they won't give me a damn epidural.

"What do you need? Should I bring the diaper bag and carriers?"

"Even if I give birth in the next hour it's not like they will be coming home tomorrow. Just get here."

"I'm on my way. I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too."

* * *

Eddie showed up at the hospital at 3:05 AM with their camera in hand. He walked into her room, his second home over the past two months, and he saw Janet lying in bed, in obvious pain with tears rolling down her face. "Why is she wearing an oxygen mask?" He asked Kelly.

"She is having a little trouble breathing with the contractions."

"She is right here." Janet snapped, pulling the mask off.

"Sorry honey." Eddie placed the mask back over her nose and mouth and then leaned over and kissed her forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"How in the hell do you think I feel?"

"What can I do?" Janet never had the chance to answer him because another contraction shot through her. She reached out and grabbed his arm, squeezing it so hard that he knew he was going to have a bruise. "That's what I can do." He quipped when Janet released his arm and she ripped off her oxygen mask.

"This is not funny Eddie. You have no idea how much pain I am in and the damn shots aren't helping."

"Janet, you need to keep your oxygen mask on." Kelly told her and Janet reluctantly returned the mask.

"I'm so sorry honey. You're right. It's not funny."

"Eddie it hurts."

"Isn't there anything you can do for her pain?" Eddie asked.

"I'm giving her what I can."

"Janet, baby, I'm so sorry."

"I can't do this." Janet whimpered. "It hurts so damn bad. I…I…hate this."

"What can I do? Tell me baby cause I have no idea how to help."

"I don't know." She wailed.

Eddie hated seeing the woman he loved in so much pain and what he hated the most was the fact that there was nothing that he could do to take away her pain so he did the only thing he could think of. He sat next to her bed, wrapped his arms around her when she sobbed because she was in so much pain, he offered his hand to squeeze during a contraction and he sat back quietly while she yelled at him or cussed him out. It was the least he could do for her.

* * *

"It's time to push Janet. Are you ready?" Dr. Hatley asked thirteen hours later.

"You have no idea." When Janet hit the six hour mark and was still seven centimeters dilated an anesthesiologist came in and finally gave her an epidermal since labor was progressing painfully slow. It took the edge off the pain but Janet still felt every single contraction.

"Why are there so many doctors and nurses in here? Is something wrong with the boys?" Eddie asked, his voice, full of concern.

"It's protocol. The triplets are eight weeks early and they are going to be small and possible have trouble breathing so we are just taking every precaution." Dr. Hatley explained.

"So they might have trouble breathing?"

"Eddie, you need to relax. We won't know anything for sure until they are born but if something is wrong then we are going to be prepared."

"Oh…God…Eddie." Janet reached out and grabbed Eddie's hand.

"Breathe baby. Breathe through the pain." As soon as the contraction passed Eddie moped the sweat off of her face with a cold rag.

"On the next contraction I need you to push Janet." Dr. Hatley instructed.

"It's almost over." Janet whispered.

"Hey before you start pushing we have to pick our oldest son's name."

"Right." Eddie and Janet had trouble deciding which boy will get which name so they wrote the names down on three index cards and they were going to randomly pick a card before each boy was born. Eddie fanned out the three cards in front of Janet.

"Okay sweetheart. Pick a card." Janet reached out, grabbed an index card and handed it Eddie.

"In a few minutes we're going to meet Jackson." Eddie said with a grin. Just then, Janet reached out and clutched his hand.

"Okay Janet, bear down and push like you are having a bowel movement." Dr. Hatley told his patient.

Now like every other aspect of her pregnancy pushing her fist son out proved not to be so easy. It didn't take a few minute or a few pushes. It took one hour and 10 minutes of pushing before Jackson Elliott Latekka came out into the world. His parents waited anxiously for their son to take his breath and when they heard his tiny cry tears fell from their eyes. Once Jackson was crying Dr. Hatley placed him on his mother's chest. "Hello there little man." Janet greeted her son tearfully while Eddie snapped their first picture together.

"Eddie you're up." Dr. Hatley handed Eddie a pair of special scissors and Eddie cut his son's umbilical cord.

"Janet I need to take him." A nurse told the new mother as she reached for the baby.

"Eddie go and make sure he is okay."

"Are you okay?"

"Just go." Eddie walked over to the bassinet and watched as a doctor and nurse worked on his tiny son. Jackson was screaming the entire time; something that Eddie assumed was a good thing

"How…how is he?" Eddie asked.

"Your son is fine Mr. Latekka. He weighs five pounds two ounces. He is a great size." The nurse wrapped Jackson up and handed the bundle to his father. "Congratulations."

"Can you…will you please take our picture?"

"Of course." Eddie handed the camera to the nurse and she snapped their first picture together. "Thanks." Eddie took the camera back. "Come on Jackson. Let's go see your mom."

"Is he okay?" Janet asked.

"He's perfect. He weighs five pounds two ounces. Here take him." Janet held out her arms and Eddie placed Jackson in his mother's arms.

"He's perfect. He looks like you." Janet whispered gazing at her son and Eddie snapped a picture.

"Smile." Janet tore her eyes away from her son and looked into the camera and Eddie captured that moment. "Kelly would you please take our first family picture?"

"I would be honored." Eddie lowered his head next to Janet's.

"Oh God…hurry." Janet groaned as she felt the beginnings of another contraction starting. Kelly quickly snapped the picture and the Eddie took the baby just as Janet cried out in pain and clutched her stomach.

"Okay Janet you know the drill. Time to push again." Eddie handed Jackson to a nurse as Janet grunted and pushed.

"Janet you need to pick another card." Eddie insisted after Janet finished pushing.

"Really? Are you serious? I'm kinda busy."

"Janet he can't be born without us knowing who he is."

"I'm sorry. You're right." Janet grabbed another card and handed it to her husband.

"Our second son is Jacob Edward."

This time it took Janet forty five minutes to push Jacob out and like Jackson he got a good bill of health and he weighed in at an even five pounds. Eddie took the same pictures of Jacob that he took of Jackson plus pictures of the two boys together and with their parents.

Janet and Eddie barely had any time to enjoy Jacob before she had to start pushing again and after an hour and a half of unsuccessful pushing they realized that their third son, Joshua Evan was going to be a very stubborn child who would do things on his schedule.

"Push Janet." Dr. Hatley practically yelled at her.

"I can't." She cried, falling back on her pillow. "I am so tired."

"I know you're tired baby but…"

"You have no damn idea how exhausted I am." Janet shouted. "I. CAN"T. DO. IT."

"I know you're tired." Eddie began again. "You've been in labor for over sixteen hours so of course you are tired but you need to fight the exhaustion and keep pushing like you pushed to get pregnant and have these boys. You can't give up Janet. Joshua needs you."

"I can't. I don't have the energy."

"Janet your son, Joshua, has to be born. The longer he stays in t he birth canal the lower his chances of survival become. He needs you to be born. I can see his head so it won't be much longer." Dr. Hatley said but Janet didn't move.

"God dammit Janet. Be Joshua's mother and sit your ass up and push him out." Eddie shouted at his wife. He hated yelling at her, he knew how exhausted she was. Hell, he was exhausted and he wasn't doing any hard work but she had to push Joshua out and yelling at her was the only way he knew how to get through to her.

With a glare at Eddie Janet sat up and resumed pushing without a word and fifteen minutes later Joshua Evan came out into the world. Just like with his brothers Janet and Eddie waited for him to cry but this time they didn't hear a cry. Eddie didn't even get to cut Joshua's cord like he had done with his brothers. Dr, Hatley cut the cord and a nurse took Joshua out of the doctor's hands and rushed him over to the last neonatologist that was left in the room. "What's wrong?" Janet shouted but no one would answer her. "Eddie what's wrong with Joshua?"

"I…I…don't know."

"Go find out." Eddie nodded and rushed over to his son.

"Sir, you need to step back." The nurse said.

"Is he…what's wrong?"

"Sir you need to give us room to work." Eddie slowly walked back over to Janet.

"He's not breathing. They are giving him CPR." Eddie and Janet stared helplessly at the doctor and nurse until they heard a tiny meow like cry.

"Oh my God. He's breathing." Janet cried. "Is he okay?"

"He's having a little trouble breathing. It sounds like there is some water on his lungs but I need to do an x-ray to make sure."

"Is it my fault?"

"No ma'am. He is eight week early and very small. His lungs most likely aren't developed."

"But you gave me steroids. His lungs should be fine."

"There were three babies Mrs. Latekka. The other two most likely absorbed the steroids more then this little guy."

"Will he be all right? Eddie asked.

"I'll know more after I run some tests. I will let you know as soon as I have something to tell you. Let's go." The once happy parents watched as their youngest son was taken away from them.

"It's my fault. It's all my fault." Janet began to cry and Eddie wrapped his arms around her.

"No sweetheart. It's not your fault." He soothed.

"It is." Eddie knew Janet well enough to know that when she was in her current state of mind she could not be convinced otherwise so he just held her while praying for his youngest son.

* * *

Two hours later Janet was back in her room, lying on her bed staring at the ceiling, waiting for news on her boys. Her mom, Eddie's parents and Katie were also in the room visiting but Janet wasn't being social able. She was also exhausted and Eddie suggested that she get some sleep but she refused to until she knew if her boys were okay.

"You have some visitors." Janet's new nurse Angela announced walking into Janet's room pushing a bassinet followed by two other nurses and two more bassinets and a doctor. Eddie was on is feet in an instant and Janet sat up in her bed.

"Are they…they're okay?" Janet asked.

"Mr. Mrs. Latekka I'm Dr. Tobias. I've been taking care of your boys. Babies A and B are fine. Every test came back normal. As a precaution I have all three boys on antibiotics to ward off any type of infection. "

"And Joshua? The youngest? How is he?" Eddie asked. Janet was too nervous to speak.

"Joshua is having difficulty breathing and he hasn't taken any formula unlike the other two. Joshua's lungs are developed but not working to full capacity and right now they just need help getting started so I have him set up with oxygen; I'm giving him breathing treatments and medication. If Joshua doesn't start taking any formula within the next two hours then I'm going to insert a feeding tube."

"For how long?" The worried mother inquired.

"Until I am happy with his weight gain. Right now Joshua weighs four pounds three ounces and he needs to gain weight and a feeding tube can help him do that."

"Can we hold him?" Eddie asked the doctor.

"That's why I brought him in here. Since we took him right after he was born he hasn't had the chance to bond with you yet and it's very important for a newborn to bond with his parents, his mother especially but I can only give you a few minutes." Dr. Tobias picked up Joshua, adjusted the tubes and handed the tiny creature to his mother. Joshua started crying the second that he was moved from the comfort of his bassinet."

"Hello there peanut." As soon as Joshua heard his mother's voice his crying ceased. For the first time since he was born Janet finally had the chance to look at her youngest son and he was gorgeous. Like his brothers Joshua had many of his father's features but his eyes, he had his mother's eyes.

"My turn Janet." Eddie requested after he snapped some pictures and Janet regretfully handed Joshua over to his father. "Oh my God. You are so tiny little man." Eddie whispered in awe. Seeing a priceless opportunity Katie grabbed Eddie and Janet's camera and took some pictures of father and son.

"Eddie get next to Janet so I can get a picture of the three of you." Since the other pictures of their family had Janet holding the baby Eddie handed Joshua back to his mother. "Perfect." Katie commented after she snapped the picture.

"Mom, Sharon will you bring Jackson and Jacob over here." Eddie asked his mother and mother in-law.

"I have been waiting all day to get my hands on my grandboys." Laura said as she eagerly went over to a bassinette and picked up a baby. "Baby B. Which one is he?" She asked.

"Jacob." Janet answered.

"Hello there Jacob. I'm one of your Grandmas. You are just so handsome."

"Mom please. We don't have much time with Josh." Eddie told her.

"Mom you too." Janet said since her mother was fawning over Jackson.

"Right sorry." The grandmother's brought the boys over to meet their brother. Sharon handed Jackson to Janet and Laura handed Jacob to Eddie.

"All right. mom, dad, look this way." Katie instructed her brother and his wife. "Say cheese."

"Cheese."

"That is one great picture." Katie said proudly.

"Katie can you take one of all three boys?" Janet asked.

"Absolutely." Katie looked around the room. "I have a great idea. May I?" She asked Janet.

"Sure." Once Katie got permission she took the boys from their parents and put the three of them in Joshua's bassinet and snapped about a half of dozen pictures.

"I hate to break up this party but I need to get Joshua back to the nursery for his next treatment." Angela told the family.

"Of course." Sharon and Laura took Jackson and Jacob out of Joshua's bassinet.

"Can I say goodbye?" Janet asked.

"Of course." Angela took Joshua and handed him to his mother.

"You get better peanut and mommy will see you soon." Janet kissed his head. "I love you." With tears falling Janet handed her baby to Eddie.

"Stay strong Josh. I love you." Eddie also kissed his son's head and then handed him back to Angela.

"Visiting hours are over in an hour." Angela informed them.

"Well in that case give me my grandson and give Katie her nephew." Jack demanded with a grin.

For the next hour Eddie's family and Janet's mom made the most of their time with their two out of the three newest members of the Latekka family. Jackson was the non-twin triple while Jacob and Joshua were the twins but regardless, they all three looked very much alike and it was hard to tell them apart and the fact that they had name bands on their ankles identifying them as Baby A or B or Jackson and Jacob didn't help because they were wrapped up tightly in blankets so the nurses wrapped them in different blankets and Eddie made notes as to which boy was wrapped in which blanket.

Once visiting hours were over Eddie and Janet were finally only with two of their children just in time for them to start to get fussy. After checking their diapers and determining that they didn't need changed it left them to believe that they were hungry. Janet had decided that if she could, she wanted to nurse the boys because it was better for them and cheaper.

"Is everything okay?" Angela asked, walking into the room.

"I think that they are hungry and I wanted to make sure that it was okay to nurse them."

"It's fine. Do you have any questions about the process?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure what exactly to do."

With a smile, Angela went over the nursing process with her patient, answering all of her questions and when she was ready Angela helped Janet position Jacob, the baby that was screaming the loudest. Jacob latched on easily and sucked eagerly. "Is he done? He shouldn't be done. It's only been a few minutes." Janet asked in a panicked voice. She tried to get Jacob to latch back on but he refused.

"It's normal. He has a very small belly and he is probably full. If he was still hungry he would still be eating." Angela assured her. "Now it's time to burp this one and feed the other." Eddie stood and laid Jackson down on Janet's lap and took Jacob to burp him. Janet picked Jackson up and tried to feed him but he wasn't having it. He just screamed.

"What's wrong? Why isn't he eating?"

"Just give him a few minutes. Now don't force your nipple in his mouth. Just place it above his mouth and when he is ready he'll take it." Janet did as she was told and after a few minutes of screaming Jacob finally latched on to her breast.

"That's a good boy." Janet whispered.

"What's it feel like?" Eddie asked her.

"It kinda hurts right now."

"Does it feel like...ya know…when I do it?"

"Eddie!" Janet gasped and glared at him.

"What? It's an honest question."

"It's not appropriate question."

"Sorry." Eddie mumbled.

"Now what should I do about Joshua? Can I go and feed him?"

"Dr. Tobias did insert a feeding tube and he is just getting the most important nutrients. Once the tube is removed we can give him your breast milk. Do you have a breast pump?"

"Yes I do. Where is it Eddie?" Jackson had finished eating and Janet was positioning him to burp.

"At home."

"Why in the hell did you leave it at home?"

"It was two thirty in the morning and I did ask you what to bring and you said nothing."

"I was in labor. I shouldn't have to think of everything."

"I'm sorry hon."

"We have a breast pump that you can use. What I'm going to suggest is that you start pumping now. The more you pump the more milk you will produce and the nice thing is that you can freeze the milk and thaw it when needed and you can have help feeding them. I would recommend that you start pumping now and tonight when they are hungry we can feed them and you can get some much needed sleep."

"That sounds like a plan." Janet agreed.

"Great. I'll go get a pump." Angela disappeared.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you." Janet told him.

"It's okay."

"No it's not. I'm tired, I'm worried about Joshua and I'm taking it out on you."

"It's understandable honey. I'm tired and I'm worried about Josh too but the one thing we have to remember is that Josh is our kid which means that he is a fighter and he will be fine."

"You can't know that Eddie. There is no way to know."

"I know it and deep down you know it." Janet stared down at the child in her arms.

"I can't believe that they were inside of me. They are so perfect that you would never know that they were making my life miserable."

"Was it worth it?" Eddie asked as he looked at his sleeping son in his arms.

"Every miserable moment." Cradling his son to his chest Eddie moved from the chair to the edge of Janet's bed.

"I haven't told you lately but thank you for going through hell. Because of you we have three wonderful children. I can't imagine what you have been through these past seven months. You tried to hide how miserable you were, you never complained. I am in awe of you baby. You are the most amazing woman I know. I love you Janet." When Janet didn't respond Eddie took his eyes away from Jacob and looked at his wife and found that she was sound asleep.

Eddie slowly got up; put Jacob in his bassinet and then he returned to Janet and carefully removed Jacob from his mother's arms. "You and your brothers sure did wear your mother out." Eddie whispered and Jacob sighed in his sleep. "It's time for everyone to go to bed." Eddie placed Jacob in his bassinette and then he wheeled both boys to the nursery. After checking on Joshua and seeing that he was holding his own, Eddie returned to Janet's room, lowered her bed, covered her up and kissed her softly. "Babies?" She mumbled sleepily.

"Sleeping in the nursery."

"So tired."

"Sleep honey." Janet nodded and a few seconds later she was sleeping peacefully. Eddie brushed her hair off of her face and kissed her again. "I love you sweetheart."


	28. Chapter 28

**I own none of the characters of October Road **

It's been eight long weeks since Janet Latekka was able to take a shower like a normal person. For the past few months, while restricted to her hospital bed, she has had to endure sponge baths by a nurse, very uncomfortable or by her loving husband, very enjoyable except there was no satisfaction at the end of the gentle caresses he used. The only thing she was left with was pent-up sexual frustration, never a good thing for a pregnant woman.

Janet turned the water on as hot as she could stand it and then stripped out of the hospital gown, something else she was tired of looking at. There was a full length mirror in the bathroom, not a good idea as far as Janet was concerned because how many women who just gave birth want to see themselves totally naked. Standing in front of the mirror Janet was disgusted by what she saw. Carrying the boys was hell on her body. Granted, she was never the most toned woman with a flat belly prior to getting pregnant but now, it's so much worse than it ever was before. She had huge, hideous stretch marks, everywhere; she had excess skin on her abdomen from all of the stretching her belly had to do to accommodate three babies and finally her boobs were huge. Eddie would most likely appreciate that but they too, were covered with stretch marks and they were so sore and swollen.

Wiping away the tears of disgust that had fallen she slowly stepped into the shower and just stood under the hot water, letting the water fall over her. It felt so nice to have the hot water pounding on her body, relaxing her. After about fifteen minutes of savoring the hot water she finally began to proceed with her shower. She took another ten minutes, washing her hair, massaging her scalp. What she was most excited about was shaving. She needed to shave so badly. Shaving has gone to the wayside since she has been on bed rest and she felt like she had man legs, they were so hairy. It's been months since she had been able to see her legs, let alone shave them. Eddie had been taking over that job before she came into the hospital and that's the one thing that she was going to miss.

"You okay in here?" Janet jumped at the sound of Eddie's voice.

"I'm fine. "

"You've been in here for a half an hour. I got worried."

"I'm fine." She repeated.

"Need some help in there?" Eddie went to pull the curtain back to peek in but Janet quickly grabbed it and held it closed. "Sweetheart, why are you holding the curtain shut?"

"I…uhhh…don't want the cold air getting in."

"Liar."

"Eddie please, just go and let me finish." Janet saw the curtain relax and she didn't hear anything else so she assumed that he left her alone.

Five minutes later, Janet finished up her shower. She turned the water off and opened the curtain and came face to face with Eddie who was holding a towel up for her. "You son of a bitch." She snapped, grabbing the towel but he kept it just out of her reach. "Dammit Eddie, give me the towel."

"What are you afraid of Janet? I've seen you naked before."

"But not like this. I am sooo…" Her voice drifted off. Eddie stepped forward, wrapped the towel around his wife.

"Baby, you just gave birth to three babies." Janet burst into tears.

"But…I have these hideous stretch marks everywhere…and…and…the sk…skin that's…hanging…it's never going to go away…" Eddie held Janet tightly in his arms as she sobbed. The doctor and nurses told him to except mood swings from sadness to grumpiness because of her out of control pregnancy hormones. Janet had always been self conscious about her weight so Eddie expected this breakdown.

"Janet, sweetheart, look at me." She lifted her head off of his chest and looked up at him and his heart broke for her. "Janet I love you so much. I love you for who are on the inside and outside. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I don't care if you have stretch marks or extra skin. When I look at you I don't see any of that and I never will. Every time I look at you I see the beautiful woman that stole my heart. You will always be beautiful to me."

"But…but…you haven't…really seen how…hideous I am…to look at." In an instant Eddie pulled the towel off of Janet and she stood in front of Eddie naked as the day she was born. She instinctively tried to cover herself up but Eddie grabbed her hands. With a huge smile his eyes roamed up and down her naked body.

"Well I've seen all of you baby, stretch marks and extra skin and I still think that you are beautiful. In fact you are more beautiful today then you were two days ago, before you gave birth because having those babies, it made you more beautiful." Eddie gently wrapped the towel back around his wife. "Do you believe me?"

"You've never lied to me before so yes, I believe you."

"Good." Eddie leaned down and kissed her softly.

"Is your breast okay? The left one looks really red." He asked, concern filling his voice.

"It's a little sore but I'm sure that it's normal because of the breastfeeding."

"Are you sure?" Janet nodded. "Okay then. Well I am sure that you are tired of wearing that hospital gown so I bought you some new pajama's so get dressed and then we'll go get our boys." He grinned and turned to leave the bathroom.

"Eddie, I love you." He turned back to the woman he loved.

"I love you too sweetheart."

* * *

"No. I'm not leaving without Joshua." Janet told Eddie. The triplets were five days old and Jackson, Jacob and Janet were all being released the next day. Jackson and Jacob were born over five pound but as all babies do they lost weight after they were born and the neonatologist wasn't releasing them until they were at five pounds, which they just barely tipped the scale at five pounds exactly. Janet's blood pressure was still high after the boys were born so Dr. Hatley kept her admitted until it was at a manageable level. Now that she met the manageable level, she could go home. Joshua on the other hand was the smallest of the boys, weighing in at 4lbs 3oz. He has been off the of the feeding tube for two days and was finally nursing but he was struggling with latching on so more often then not, he ended up with a bottle of breast milk. He was gaining weight but he still wasn't at five pounds and his doctor wanted him to stay until he was at the same weight as his brothers are.

"We don't have a choice. You can be here during the day, hell; we can even bring the other two with us. You just can't stay the night." Eddie told her gently.

"He can't stay at the hospital all night, alone."

"He won't be alone. He'll be in the nursery, like he has been every night since he was born."

"His brothers were with him. Now he will be alone and scared."

"Sweetheart, this is what is best for Josh."

"It's not best for me."

"You have been wanting to come home for months."

"With all THREE of my children. Not just two of them. That's how I wanted to come home."

"You don't have a choice Janet. You, me, Jake and Jax are all going home tomorrow night." Janet and the boys were scheduled to be released in the morning and Eddie had already checked with the nursery staff and was assured that they could stay as visitors throughout the day so he decided that they four of them would then go home in the evening.

"We'll see about that." She mumbled and he sighed. He understood where she was coming from; he didn't want to leave Josh behind either but it had to be done. It was what their son needed to become healthy.

"Just think it about it baby." He kissed her head. "Geez Janet, you are burning up." He reached over and hit the call button. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired." She has felt blah throughout the day but she just attributed it to being tired. Even though the boys were sleeping in the nursery they were still brought to her to nurse, usually once an hour because the boys weren't nursing at the same time. Just as one would finish and Janet would drift back to sleep another would wake up and the process seemed to go on all night.

"What's going on?" The nurse asked.

"Something's wrong with Janet. I think she has a fever." Eddie explained.

"Well let's see what's going on." The nurse grabbed the thermometer and placed it in Janet's mouth while Janet sat on the bed and glared at her husband for opening his mouth. "102.4. Janet, what's going on? Do you feel okay?" The nurse began to examine her patient.

"I feel really blah."

"Define blah."

"I'm tired, I have a headache, and I feel sore all over, especially my breast."

"One or both breasts?"

"Both but my left is worse then the right."

"May I see your breasts please?" Janet gave her nurse a weird look. "Just trust me. I think you have an infection in your breast." She slowly sat up and pulled her shirt up, wincing slightly as her shirt brushed against her sore breast.

"Whoa." Eddie said. "That looks a lot worse then it did."

"Would you care to elaborate?" The nurse asked.

"Two days ago when Janet was getting a shower I noticed that her breast was red and swollen but we both assumed it had to do with breastfeeding." Eddie told Janet's nurse.

"I'm going to page a doctor to come in and have a look. I believe that you have a breast infection called mastitis, a common infection in breast feeding women. Hang tight."

"Great. Just what I need." Janet mumbled as the nurse walked out of the room.

Two hours later Janet's latest diagnosis was confirmed. She had a severe case of mastitis with an abscess. She was started on I.V. antibiotics and would remain on the I.V. for the next forty eight hours and the next morning she was scheduled to have the abscess removed. "Well it looks like you got your wish. You don't have to leave Josh for a couple more days." Eddie grumbled to his wife.

"I didn't want to stay here like this. Do you think I wanted this?"

"I honestly don't know."

"What in the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Why did you let the infection get so damn bad? You are a mother now and you have three babies to think about. You can't just think about yourself." He snapped. He was furious that Janet let her infection get as bad as it did.

"I just thought that it was a part of breast feeding."

"Bullshit Janet. The first day, yeah I could see that but now, anyone could tell that it was an infection."

"Well excuse me for never breastfeeding before. How in the hell was I to know what was going on?"

"Come on. Quit lying to me and to yourself. I knew something was wrong and it's not my breast."

"I don't appreciate what you are insinuating. I love my boys. I would do anything for them."

"Our boys Janet and apparently you won't do anything for them. You won't even take care of yourself."

"I think you should go." Janet muttered.

"Yeah. I probably should." He kissed the top of her head. "I'll see you in the morning." He walked out of the room without an "I love you."

Eddie was out of the room for a couple minutes before Janet realized that she couldn't let him leave on a bad note. She got out of bed and rushed to the elevator but she was too late. Just as she got there the elevator door shut. "Dammit." She mumbled tearfully. Turning, she slowly walked to the nursery and stood at the window and watched her boys.

"Looks like you had the same idea as I did." Janet looked over in surprise at her husband. Eddie wrapped an arm around her shoulder and Janet leaned against him and together they watched two of their boys sleep. "Come on. Let's talk." His arm slipped off of her shoulder and he took her hand and together they returned to Janet's room.

"I'm sorry." Janet blurted out as soon as Eddie closed the door. "I didn't mean anything that I said. I just don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I want out of this damn hospital so bad but I don't want to leave Joshua."

"It's your crazy ass pregnancy hormones. They should wear off soon."

"I knew something was wrong with my breast." She admitted softly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know." She burst into tears and again, Eddie just held his wife until she calmed down.

"I talked to the nurses and they have agreed that when Jacob and Jackson are discharged tomorrow the boys can stay in here with us until you are discharged."

"Really?"

"Yep. Now we are going to be totally on our own. They only baby they will continue to care for will be Josh. Are you up for the challenge?"

"I am."

"Me too."

"I'm so sorry Eddie."

"So am I. I just worry so damn much about you."

"This isn't how our life was supposed to be. This wasn't what you dreamed about."

"Of course it's not and that's because it was a dream. This is real life and real life is supposed to have its ups and downs and besides in my dream, I ended up dead and what we are going through right now is a definite improvement."

"I love you Eddie."

"I love you too sweetheart."

* * *

"I'm going to bed." Janet mumbled to her husband. It was nine thirty and they had just finished feeding the boys.

"I'll lock up downstairs and come with you." Janet handed Eddie two empty bottles.

"Whatever." She kissed his cheek distractedly and disappeared into their bedroom.

After locking up the house, Eddie returned upstairs to his bedroom. Hoping for some long overdue sex, he stripped naked, crawled into bed and began to nuzzle on her neck, something that always turns her on. "What in the hell are doing?" Janet grumbled.

"If you think really hard, I think that you can figure it out." He whispered

"Get off." Janet pushed him away.

"Come on baby. It's been months." Eddie was desperate to make love.

"I'm too tired."

"I'll energize you." He rolled back over to her and slid his hand under the tee shirt she was wearing.

"God dammit Eddie." She moved his hand off of her stomach, sat up and glared at him. "What part of I am exhausted do you not understand? You get to sleep all night while I am up with the boys and during the day when you are at work, I never slow down. I'm constantly either changing diapers, feeding, bathing, or soothing crying children until I go to bed where I get a couple hours of sleep before it starts all over again so let me make this perfectly clear. I. Do. Not. Want. To. Have. Sex. Now goodnight." She lay back down and covered up, ending the conversation.

Without another word Eddie got out of bed, threw on some clothes and stormed out of their bedroom and back downstairs to the kitchen to do some dishes. Eddie was worried about his wife. She and the boys had been home for seven weeks, the boys were now eight weeks old and instead of things getting easier everything seemed to be getting harder.

Sharon, Janet's mom stayed with them for the first two weeks that they were all home and with Sharon's help, things were okay, hectic but tolerable. Once they were alone, with their boys, things seemed to go downhill. He could see how exhausted she was. She was the one who got up with the boys at night. He tried to get up and help feed the boys but usually it was just one of them that would wake up and Janet insisted that she could handle it because it was just one that was up. She would turn off the baby monitor and he would go back to sleep and she never woke him up, telling him in the morning that he needed his sleep since he was the one who had to work. Eddie begged her, to wake him up and she would promise him that she would but she never did. On his weekends off Eddie was the primary caregivers of the boys while Janet caught up on her sleep, which was fine with Eddie because he knew she needed it but when she wasn't sleeping she just laid in bed watching television and that was something that he did not get because for two months she couldn't wait to get out of bed and now, he had trouble getting her out.

Over the past couple of weeks Eddie's concern heightened and he realized that it was much more than exhaustion. She wasn't eating and was losing a lot of weight. Janet, the most caring person he knew, seemed to stop caring. She stopped caring about friends and family. She made excuses so people wouldn't come over and if they're friends or family did come over she holed up in their room, telling everyone she was tired. She stopped caring about their home. Eddie wasn't old-fashioned. He knew that keeping a house clean wasn't only a woman's responsibility and the housework and laundry, they always shared it but now she didn't do anything. Every day the dishes, laundry, and trash continued to pile up. Eddie was doing the best he could to keep up with everything but he was failing, miserably.

What scared him the most was that Janet didn't seem to care about the boys. Yesterday, when he had gotten home from work he found Janet lying on the couch while the boys were either upstairs in their cribs or downstairs in their pak-n-plays. Normally that would have been nothing to worry about but all three boys were sitting in their dirty diapers and screaming. After Eddie yelled at her because he was scared for the boys Janet apologized, said that she fell asleep and swore it wouldn't happen again. Eddie was so concerned about the boys' lack of care that he took today off of work and Janet spent it upstairs in their room, far away from all of them.

When Janet was discharged from the hospital her doctor gave him some information about post-partum depression, something that was always given to new parents. Eddie had read the information from front to back and he was convinced that his wife was suffering from post-partum depression. Knowing that she would never make herself an appointment Eddie scheduled her one for the next day since the boys had their two month checkup and didn't tell her. He hated tricking her but he knew she would never willingly go to the doctor and since they all had the same doctor this seemed to be the best solution. He knew she would be furious with him, but her anger is something that Eddie is more then willing to deal with if she gets better.

* * *

"Janet, Eddie I heard the boys screaming. I take it they got all of their shots." Dr. Arnholter said, walking back into the exam room. Eddie had told the nurse the situation with Janet and she had told the doctor who observed Janet during his examination of the triplets. "How did they do?"

"They took it like the men that they are." Eddie said proudly as he worked on strapping the boys back into their car seats.

"Janet how are you adjusting to motherhood?"

"Fine." Dr. Arnholter knew she was lying. Under the pretense of going to the bathroom, Eddie met Dr. Arnholter out in the hall and filled him in on what was going on with Janet and his concerns.

"So you're getting enough sleep?"

"Of course not but what new mother does?"

"I have some concerns Janet."

"With the boys?"

"No. I have concerns about you."

"Me? I'm just a little tired but I'm fine." Eddie finished strapping in the last baby and then he took a seat next to Janet.

"Eddie has told me what's been going on with you." Janet turned and glared at her husband.

"He had nothing to tell. Everything is fine."

"I've been observing you during the boys' exam I noticed that you just stood by the side of the exam table and didn't answer any questions that I asked. Eddie did all of the talking and my nurse said that when she gave them their shots Eddie was the one who comforted the boys after their shots."

"It is a crime to sit quietly?"

"Something is wrong Janet. Remember a couple days ago when I came home from work and found our boys, in their cribs, wearing dirty clothes, sitting in their dirty diapers, screaming because they were starving and that scared the hell out of me. How long did you leave them alone Janet? Do you have any idea what could have happened if I didn't come home when I did?" Eddie had tears in her eyes and Janet's only response was too start crying. "You wanted these babies so bad and now you act like you can't stand the sight of them."

"I…I….I can't stand to hear them cry. Whenever I do, I get so angry so I stay away from them and when they aren't crying, I don't want to hold them. I don't want anything to do with them." Janet fell into Eddie's arms and sobbed. "Wha…what is wrong with me?" She cried into her husband's arms.

"Janet you have post-partum depression."

"I don't understand. I wanted to be a mother more than anything."

"Post-partum depression has nothing to do with your desire to be a mother. A pregnant woman's hormones are out of control and usually everything returns to normal a few weeks after giving birth but in some cases they don't and when that happens it's known as post-partum depression. It's very prevalent in patients who have had complications during their pregnancy and you definitely had complications." Dr. Arnholter explained to his crying patient.

"You can treat it right?" Eddie asked.

"Yes. I'm going to give you a prescription. Now it's going to take a couple of weeks before you start to feel better but you will feel better."

"And I will be able to love my babies?" Janet asked tearfully.

"The issue here is not about loving your children. I believe that you love them. Eddie believes that you love the boys and deep down you believe it too. Right now, you are just having trouble showing them your love but I promise you that you will be able to be the mother that you have always dreamed of being. Now I know that this is going to bother you Janet but for the next two weeks, until the medicine has taken effect, I am recommending that you are not left alone with your children."

"Do you …can I…will I hurt them?"

"No sweetheart. You couldn't hurt them." Eddie insisted through his tears.

"Janet, do you think that you could hurt your children?" Dr. Arnholter asked.

"I don't want to hurt them."

"I don't think that you will but I want to play it safe." Janet nodded through her tears. "I also want you to call me everyday to let me know how you are feeling because if I need to change your medication I would rather do it sooner than later. Do you have any questions?"

"Will I have to be on the medicine for the rest of my life?"

"Six months to a year. We'll play that by ear. Anything else?" Eddie and Janet shook their heads. "Okay. I'm going to get your prescription. I'll be right back."

"Things are going to get better baby." Eddie whispered.

"I…I…hope so." Janet was praying that he was right.

_**Three weeks later**_

Eddie walked into his house and was instantly inhaling the wonderful scent of his favorite food, Lasagna. He found all three boys in the living room in their swings. "Hey guys. How was your day?" He greeted all of them with a kiss and then he followed his nose to the kitchen.

He found Janet at the counter putting together a salad and he just stood there quietly, watching her. The woman he married was back. When Janet first started taking the medicine it was hard on her, especially the fact that someone had to be at the house with her but when the medication started kicking in Eddie noticed a difference immediately. They were little changes at first, she was out of bed more, and she spent the evenings and weekends with Eddie instead of in bed. She began to do her share of housework, cooking again and finally, she began spending time with her boys, holding and cuddling with them. She was being the mother that she had always wanted to be; the mom Eddie always knew she was.

"Hey. I didn't hear you come in." Janet said when she turned around and saw him standing there. He walked over and kissed her.

"How was your day?" She had been on her own with the boys for a week and as far as he could see, Janet was handling things well.

"It was really good. The boys and I are getting into a routine."

"They look really content hanging out in their swings."

"Jax hates the swing. He screams every time I put him in it but as soon as he starts moving and the music starts playing, he chills out. You would think by now he would quit fighting me but he doesn't. Josh and Jake, they don't care. They go in with no problem but not Jax." Eddie grinned because he knew exactly what she had been through because he had been through it himself.

"Smells good in here."

"I made you're favorite. I thought that we could have a nice dinner."

"I would like that. Is there anything I can do?"

"Would you bring the swings into the dining room so we could have our first family dinner? It's long overdue."

"Sounds like a great idea."

After their enjoyable family dinner and once the kitchen was cleaned it was bath time for the boys, an extremely long process. While Janet bathed one boy at a time, Eddie was undressing/dressing the other two and when the bath was done Eddie gave Janet the dry baby and he took the wet, squirming one. An hour later the baths were done Janet was soaking wet but she couldn't be happier.

"Are they sleeping?" Eddie had come into the nursery and found Janet in the rocking chair nursing Jackson.

"Jake and Josh are and Jackson is almost there." Janet pulled her son away from her breast and moved him to her shoulder so he could burp which he did a minute later.

"Let me put him to bed." Janet kissed the top of Jackson's head. "I love you." She whispered as Eddie took him out of her arms.

"Did I tell you that last night they slept for three hours before they woke up to eat?" Janet asked him when they got out into the hall.

"Oh really? That's good to know. I'm glad that they are sleeping more." Eddie said nonchalantly. He knew what she was hinting at and he wanted to torment her.

"During the day the boys never sleep at the same time during the day so it's nice to actually have some free time."

"I brought some paperwork home from the shop. This is the perfect time to get some work done."

"Okay. I think that I'm going to take a long hot bath."

"Enjoy yourself." Eddie kissed on the cheek, patted her butt and walked away, grinning to himself.

As soon as he heard the bathwater start to run he returned upstairs to their bedroom. Janet had left the bathroom door open a crack so Eddie became a Peeping Tom, watching her strip. As soon as her last article of clothing fell to the floor he walked into the bathroom. "I decided that my paperwork could wait." Before Janet could process what in the hell was going on Eddie had his hands around her waist and was sitting her on top of the bathroom counter.

"You bastard." Janet said with a grin as Eddie shucked his clothes. "You were screwing with me."

"Not yet but I plan on it very soon." Eddie kicked out of his pants and boxers and then grabbed Janet's legs, spread them apart and speared inside of her.

"Oh my God." They both moaned at the feeling of being one again. Janet wrapped her legs around Eddie and he leaned forward and he just kissed her until she started moving her hips against him. Eddie unwrapped her legs, bent them until her feet were sitting on top of the counter. He rested his palms on her knees and pounded furiously in and out of his beloved wife. Janet desperately clung to Eddie as her lower back was being jammed against the faucet but hat didn't stop her from matching his every thrust.

"Oh…Ohhhh….ahhh…"Janet groaned. "Eddie…Eddie…I…" With a final moan that seemed to come from deep within her Janet was bucking against his body as she shook from her orgasm. Watching Janet fall apart in front of him was all he needed to topple over the edge himself. Eddie's head fell onto Janet's shoulder and Janet wrapped her arms around his back and they just held each other while their breathing returned to normal.

"Do you still want that bath?" He mumbled.

"No way in hell."

"Good because I'm not even close to being done with you."

"I should be really pissed at you for messing with me."

"But you're not are you?"

"No and only because the sex that we just had was so amazing."

"You ain't seen nothing yet." Eddie lifted Janet from the sink and carried her to their bed.

"I love you Eddie." Janet whispered tenderly as Eddie loomed above her.

"I've missed you. God, it was horrible to watch you suffer."

"I'm sorry that I put you through all that."

"It wasn't your fault. I'm just glad that you are getting better."

"I love you." She repeated as a tear slipped from her eye. "I am so lucky to have you. Anyone else would have left me." Eddie kissed her tear away.

"I'm never going anywhere. I love you Janet, very much." He lowered herself on top of her and kissed her passionately.

Joshua woke up three and a half hours later and Janet and Eddie had made love twice more/ They were trying to make up for lost time but more importantly they were just savoring the time that they were spending together as lovers, something that had been missing from their lives for the last six months. As Eddie held Janet in his arms, after their final orgasm of the night Janet couldn't believe that he didn't give up on her. She knew that if it would have been anyone else in her life, that man would have left her but not Eddie. If he would have left her she wouldn't have faulted him; she treated him like crap and she didn't deserve him but he didn't walk away. He fought for their love and their family but more importantly, he fought for her. He fought to help her heal and he fought because he loved her, a fact that still amazed Janet Latekka. The man in her arms loved her more than anything and she loved him just as much and if the time ever came that Eddie needed her to fight for him, she was ready. She hoped that time would never come but if it did, she would fight with everything she had for the man she loved.


	29. Chapter 29

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

_**Five years later**_

"Daddy. Wake up." Eddie was roused out of a nice peaceful sleep when he heard the sound of one his boys' voices. He braced himself for the tackle he knew was coming and a second later one of his five year olds' jumped onto his chest and that's when he opened his eyes.

"You're killing me Jax." Eddie told him knowing that it wasn't Jackson that was sitting on top of him.

"I'm not Jackson." Jackson and Jacob were the identical twins that were a mixture between both of their parents and Joshua was the lone triplet that was a miniature Eddie Latekka.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes daddy. I'm sure that I am Jake."

"Okay little man. I'm going to trust you." Eddie pulled him down and hugged him tightly. "Happy Birthday Jakey."

"Come on daddy. Mommy said to get up cause we are ready to go to breakfast." Every year since they were two Eddie and Janet took the boys out to breakfast on their birthday and it was a tradition that they had all come to love. Eddie looked at the bedside clock and saw that it was nine o'clock. He was surprised that the birthday boys let him sleep that long.

"How can I get up when you are on top of me?" Jacob climbed off of his father and Eddie slowly sat up. "Tell mommy I will be down in a few minutes. " Eddie knew that there was no way that they boys would be able to wait for him to shower.

As soon as Jacob bounded out of the room Eddie climbed out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. After he used the bathroom and brushed his teeth he ran some water through his bed hair and then dug through the medicine cabinet for a pain reliever. Even though it had been seven years since the tumor had been removed from his brain every year he had to go and get an MRI and follow up with Dr. Turner. After he had his MRI's he always developed a headache and Dr. Turner had given him a prescription for Vicodin. He usually took one pill, max two and his headache went away. Yesterday he had his yearly MRI, he took two Vicodin and his headache never went away. He took another couple of pills before he went to bed, which is probably why he slept so late, and he still had the headache and to top it off, he was nauseated and dizzy. He kept telling himself that is was just a normal headache, that would go away but deep down he knew it wasn't just another normal headache. He knew that his tumor had returned. He found his Vicodin, swallowed the pill and returned to the bedroom to get ready for breakfast.

"Happy Birthday boys." Eddie greeted when he walked into the living room.

"Thank you daddy." The three of them responded.

"Who is ready for a birthday breakfast?"

"Me." The three of them shouted.

"Well then let's go. " Janet announced joining her boys and in an instant the boys were gone so Janet took the opportunity to kiss her husband. "Good morning."

"Morning sweetheart."

"How is your headache?" Eddie knew Janet was worried about him and he wanted to ease her mind but he wasn't sure if he could since he himself was convinced that it wasn't good news.

"It's better."

"Please don't lie to me Eddie. I can see the pain in your eyes."

"It's no big deal. It will go away."

"Did you take a Vicodin?"

"Yes dear I did."

"If it gets worse, you'll tell me?"

"I'll tell you." At that moment Jackson returned to the living room.

"Come on." He grabbed one of each of his parent's hands and proceeded to drag them out to the garage.

After the initial rough patch after the boys were born, life in the Latekka household has been filled with happiness and testosterone. Just like Eddie had always known, Janet was a wonderful mother. She adored her boys and loved them with all that she had and the feeling was mutual because Jackson, Jacob and Joshua adored their mother. Eddie was a great father as well. When the weather was nice, he could be found outside in the backyard playing with the boys for hours on end. He wasn't afraid to show his affection for his children and he was stern when he needed to be. They were the true definition of a happy family.

The best thing about being parents of three boys that were the same age was watching them grow and become their own person. Jackson was the oldest and he acted like it even though Eddie and Janet never came out and told him that he was the oldest. He bossed his brothers around but his parents rarely let him get away with it. Jackson's personality matched his father's. He loved to roughhouse with his brothers and especially his father and more often than not left one of his brothers crying. Jacob's personality was a mixture of both Eddie and Janet. He could be mischievous like his father and sweet and caring like his mother.

Now the youngest of three was Joshua and his personality was just like Janet's and the two of them were very close. Joshua was small for his age, something his pediatrician said was normal for a premature baby. He had horrible vision and had been wearing glasses since he was eighteen months old. Eddie and Janet find themselves sometimes being over protective of Joshua since he was so small and sickly. He has had breathing problems since he was born and his constant companion is an inhaler. At his young age he had had many respiratory diseases, RSV, croup, colds, flu and even pneumonia. Jackson and Jacob sensed that Joshua struggled with the fact that he couldn't always run around and play with them and Janet and Eddie were so proud when their two older boys adjusted their game so Joshua could join them.

Over the years, business at Best Friend Windows had increased. They had so much business that they now employ ten other guys full time and the company was making an incredible profit and just because Eddie was half owner, he still worked just as hard, if not harder than his employees but he was home every night with his family. Due to the great business that BFW was doing Janet was still able to stay home with boys, something she knew many mothers wished that they could do and something that she never took for granted. She treasured every day that she was with them. She still sold candles to bring in extra money for her family a couple nights a week and usually on Saturday afternoons. It was nice to get out of the house those few days and be with grownups but nothing measured up to the love she felt at home when she was with her boys, including Eddie. Janet was the center of their lives and they showed it every day when they showered her with their love.

Even though neither though it was possible, their marriage has grown stronger, more solid over the years. Janet thought that Eddie was the best husband. Without Eddie's support and faith in her Janet didn't know if she would have made it through the depression without him. With him, she was able to be the mother that she had always dreamed that she could be. Their lives were very full taking care of their boys. In fact, it seemed that their entire existence revolved around the triplets and they wouldn't have it any other way but Eddie always made sure Janet felt like a woman and not just a mother. Besides their anniversary when he sent flowers, he would either send flowers or bring flowers home for no reason except to tell her he loved her. He always made a point to tell her how beautiful she was, even if she was just in an old pair of sweats and a tee shirt. He made a point to have a date night every week, his parents came over to spend time with their grandson's and Eddie and Janet were able to spend time together as a couple and Eddie always made sex a priority for them. It was one way that he knew for sure that he could remind Janet how much he loved her.

While Janet though that Eddie was the best husband a woman could ask for he thought the same thing. He knew he was the luckiest man in the world simply because he was married to the best woman who was an amazing wife to him and mother to his boys. She made their house a home. She put him and their children first, most of the time depriving herself of things that she wanted but she wouldn't have things any other way and she loved them with all of her heart. Eddie couldn't wait to come at the end of the day to see her; to see her smile; to see the way her eyes light up when she told him of her day with the boys. It was the perfect life.

But not everything had been easy. Along with dealing with Josh's constant health problems Janet had to worry about Eddie. Since the triplets had been born, he had two more tumors removed from his brain, one when t he boys were a year and a half and the second was when they were four. Dr. Turner told them that the tumors were benign but that didn't stop Janet from worrying every time Dr. Turner opened Eddie's skull to remove them and then his recovery from the surgeries was never easy and then Janet ended up taking care of an additional person but never once did she complain because she knew, it could always be worse.

Later that day Eddie was in the living room setting up some extra chairs for the boys' birthday party when his cell phone rang. "Hello?"

"Eddie, its Dr. Turner. I'm so sorry to call you on a Saturday but I got your MRI results and…"

"I don't want to hear them." Eddie's gut feeling had just been right. His results were bad because why else would his doctor call him on a weekend.

"Eddie it's serious."

"Look, today is my kids' birthday and I'm setting up for their party now and I'm not ruining this day for them or for Janet. I've obviously got another tumor. You can give me the results at my follow up appointment on Monday." Eddie had been Dr. Turner's patient long enough for Dr. Turner to know that it would be pointless to argue with him.

"I hope your boys have a great birthday." Dr. Turner conceded.

"So far they have and they will. I'll see you Monday. Thanks for calling."

"Hey who was that? Is someone cancelling?" Janet asked as Eddie slipped his phone back in his pocket.

"It's a work thing. Jason had to check on a job and he was calling with an update." He hated lying to her but like he told his doctor, he wasn't going to ruin this day for her.

"How's your headache baby?" He had been trying to hide his pain but Janet knew him so well.

"It's tolerable."

"This headache, it's different than you're normal post MRI headache."

"Later. We'll talk later."

"But I…" Eddie reached out and cupped her cheek, halting her response.

"Later Janet." When he saw her mouth open to presumably argue with him, Eddie bent down and kissed her, ending the conversation.

"Grr…ooooo…ssss" The boys called, causing their parents to pull apart.

"Kissing your mother is so not gross." Eddie informed them.

"Is it time for our party yet?" The always impatient Jackson asked.

"Not yet Jax. " Eddie answered.

"When?"

"Soon."

"When is soon?" Jackson wasn't relenting.

"Relax kiddo." Eddie told him.

"Mommy can I have one of the balloons please?" Jacob asked. Janet had decorated the living room with streamers, birthday signs and balloons.

"I suppose." Janet looked at the other two. "Do you two want one?"

"Yes please." Jackson and Joshua answered together. With a smile Janet gave the boys each a balloon and then disappeared into the kitchen.

"Wanna scare mom?" The boys' eyes lit up with excitement and they nodded. Eddie leaned down and whispered his plan and then the four of them snuck to the entrance of the kitchen. As quietly as he could he couldn't to three and the boys all popped their balloons causing Janet to jump and scream and the boys to holler with laughter.

"That was not funny." Janet told them when her heart rate returned to normal. "Whose idea was it?"

"Daddy." The boys turned on their father in an instant.

"It was not. It was their idea." Eddie defended himself by blaming his innocent children.

"Daddy's lying." Joshua yelled.

"Yes I know he is." Janet knew eventually the triplets would come up with those ideas on their own but right now she knew this was all Eddie.

"Is dad in trouble?" Jackson asked with a grin. He loved the idea of his dad getting into trouble.

"Yes you're father is in trouble, big trouble. " The triplets laughed and before anything could be said the doorbell rang and the boys cheered.

"Party." They shouted and raced to the door.

"I guess you're punishment will have to wait." Janet said with a wink.

"I can hardly wait."

* * *

"I am amazed that you managed to put together this great party with three kids. I can barely put together dinner and I just have Lexi. How do you do it?" Hannah asked as the two of them were cleaning up.

"It's not that hard especially since the boys are in preschool. They are only there for three days a week and I find myself so bored when they are gone so I go crazy. I think that I may have to find a part time job when the boys start school or I am going to lose my mind." Janet told her friend.

"You've got your candles. Isn't that enough to keep idle hands busy?"

"It's fine for now. I spend all day with the boys and then a couple nights a week I take off but once they are in school they will be gone all day and I want to be there for them when they get home from school. Being there for them, it's something that Eddie and I decided that we wanted for our boys."

"I may have a solution to your job problem if you are willing to start before the boys start school." Nick stated. Janet didn't even realize that Nick had joined them.

"And what might that be?"

"Sherri, our secretary just put in her notice. You can take her place."

"That's a great idea Janet." Hannah said.

"I don't know." Janet mumbled.

"Don't know what?" Eddie asked walking into the kitchen.

"Janet was talking about getting a job once the boys go back to school." Nick told him.

"My lovely wife has been very lonely since the boys started preschool and therefore she's been going crazy. "

"Well I suggested that Janet come in and take over for Sherri."

"Our Sherri?" Eddie asked and Nick nodded. "I like it."

"I don't know baby if us working together is a good idea."

"Are you afraid that you won't be able to handle me being your boss?" Eddie winked at her. "You're the boss at home and you're not willing to give up control."

"I am the boss here and no matter where I am, no matter what the situation, I will always be your boss."

"Take the job sweetheart and we'll see who the boss is."

"You're on." The couple joked with each other. In their relationship there was no boss. Their marriage was an equal partnership.

"Mommy, I want to go swimming." Joshua announced joining them in the kitchen. Every year since they were three when Sharon and husband Mike came to town for the boys' birthday they rented a hotel room at a hotel with a great swimming pool and waterslides and after their party Sharon and Mike took the boys back with them for a night filled with fun and swimming.

"Janet honey, the boys are ready to go." Janet's mom Sharon told them.

"I've got their bags ready." Janet walked out of the kitchen to the dining room where the boys' bags were packed and ready. She reached into one of the bags and pulled out a bag of medication. "This is Josh's medicine. The inhaler in here is the one that he uses four times a day, two puffs at a time. I usually hold it in his mouth and spray after the count of three and then he knows the drill. I have already attached the spacer. It works best with it. The pills are his Singular. They are chewable and he gets it every morning." Janet reached in her pocket and pulled another inhaler out and handed it to her mom. "This is his emergency inhaler. If he has an attack he needs to puffs and then he has to rest. He can use another two puffs every five minutes until his symptoms subside. He gets scared when he has an attack so make sure if it happens, you hold him and calm him down as quickly as you can because the more upset he is, the worse his breathing is and mom, please call me if…"

"I'll call." Janet nodded. "I'll take good care of him."

"I know you will mom. It's not you. I just worry about him no matter who he is with."

"It's because you are a good mother." Janet hugged her mom.

"Thanks for taking them for the night. You're going to have your hands full."

"I'm looking forward to spending time with my grandsons."

"Let me know how you feel about that tomorrow."

"Is it time to go Grandma?" The boys were all standing in the dining room, looking very eager to go swimming.

"We can go as soon as you kiss your mom and dad goodbye. " The boys threw themselves into their mother's arms.

"Bye mommy." They told her.

"Be good for Grandma and Grandpa. You listen to them and when they tell you it's time to get out of the pool then you better get out of the pool or else you won't play with your new bikes when you get home. Do you understand me?" Janet and Eddie had splurged and bought them all new bikes for their birthday. Even though it was the beginning of March, the basement that Eddie had converted into a play room for the three of them was big enough for them to ride their bikes in.

"Yes ma'am."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

Fifteen minutes after the triplets left the Latekka home the remaining stragglers headed out leaving Janet and Eddie alone, for the first time in a long time. "Okay. This is just too weird. It's too quiet." Eddie commented once they had the house cleaned up and settled on the couch.

"It's nice. I love those boys but it's nice when they aren't here. I can actually hear myself think."

"What are you thinking about hon?" Janet stretched out on the couch and placed her feet on Eddie's lap and he immediately began to massage them, a treat that Janet loved.

"I'm thinking about a few things. "

"Spill baby."

"Are you really okay with me working again and me working with or for you since we agreed that I would be a stay at home mom?"

"You've been a stay at home mom for five years Janet and I get that you want to return to work. My main concern was that I wanted you to be there for our boys, which you have been and working with me, having me as your boss, it's to our advantage because I have some say over your schedule. You can come in after the boys are at school and leave in time to be home for the boys."

"But what about this summer? Sherri is leaving in a couple of weeks."

"Well I have been thinking about that and I'm sure that mom will watch the boys. She's already watching Amanda for Katie and Ikey and she is always offering to watch the boys, if you go back to work."

"Don't get me wrong. I love staying home with them but sometimes, I just need some adult time."

"I hear you. " Eddie moved to her other foot. "So what else is on your mind?"

"Your headache."

"I lied to you Janet."

"You're headaches are worse then you are telling me aren't they?" Eddie nodded.

"They are but that's not what I lied to you about. Telling you that my headache isn't so bad when it is and you worrying about me…that's the normal thing that we do."

"What did you lie to me about Eddie?"

"That phone call that I got before the party, it wasn't work."

"Who was it?"

"Dr. Turner."

"You should have told me. Why did you lie to me?"

"I'm telling you now." Janet glared at her husband. "I know. I should have told you when I hung up but I didn't want to ruin today for you or the boys."

"What did he say? Is it bad?"

"He didn't. I didn't give him a chance but I figured that it can't be good if he is calling me on a Saturday."

"Then why in the hell didn't you let him give you your results." Janet pulled her feet out of his lap and sat up.

"I already told you. I wasn't ruining today for you guys and besides, I obviously have another tumor and two more days isn't going to make a damn bit of difference."

"You don't know that Eddie."

"We've been through this before Janet. Dr. Turner will tell me that I have another tumor and then he'll crack my skull open, pull it out and we'll continue to live normally for another few years until my over-zealous brain cells decide to grow another tumor and then we will have this same conversation."

"We've been through similar situations but Dr. Turner has never called us at home on a weekend before. He usually waits until your follow up appointment. Something's not right."

"See that's why I didn't want to tell you. Now you are all worried and there isn't anything that we can do about it." Eddie snapped.

"If you would have just taken the damn call then maybe there is something that we could be doing and I wouldn't worry so much." Janet snapped back. "You infuriate me."

"You know I'm trying to be positive but you're making it really hard."

"You're worried aren't you and don't you lie to me." Eddie sighed and looked away but Janet wasn't having it. She moved from her seat and onto his lap so she could look into his eyes. "Look at me baby." Eddie slowly lifted his head.

"I'm worried." He admitted laying his head on his wife's shoulder.

"Whatever the results are, good or bad, you and I, we're in this together."

"Thanks Janet and I'm sorry that I lied to you." Janet kissed his lips.

"Don't let it happen again."

"Yes ma'am." Eddie leaned back against the couch and pulled Janet with him. It was nice for the two of them to just be able to sit and cuddle without constant interruption.

After a few minutes of watching television, Janet began to feel a little frisky so she began to place soft kisses and nibbles on Eddie's neck while rubbing a free hand up and down his thigh and Eddie was in heaven. He just laid back, closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation of Janet's hand and lips on his body. "How is your headache?" She whispered in his ear, causing goose bumps to rise on his arms.

"Still hurts." He mumbled.

"Awe. That's a shame." Without warning she pulled herself off of his lap.

"What? Why is that a shame?"

"Well if your head was feeling better I was going to show you who the boss in this relationship is." She began to walk away. "Oh well. I guess we'll just have to wait until it's better but by the time that it is better, the boys will probably be home so…" She never got to finish her sentence.

"It doesn't hurt that bad." Eddie jumped up and grabbed her hand, practically dragging her upstairs to their bedroom. "And I'm going to show you who is boss." Janet giggled as she was being drug up the stairs. "Now strip." Eddie demanded when they reached the room.

"I'm a little chilly."

"Strip. Now." Very rarely did they act out the dominate fantasies but when they did, especially when Eddie was the dominate sexual partner, it really turned Janet on. With shaking hands, due to excitement, Janet quickly began to unbutton her shirt. "Slow. Take it off slow."

"I'm sorry." Fighting the urge to just rip her shirt off, she slowly unbuttoned it and slid it off her shoulders, to the floor. She reached behind her to unhook her bra but Eddie reached out to stop her.

"Leave it on. Pants next." Janet followed his instructions. "Now take my shirt and pants off."

"Yes sir."

"Do you like what you see?" Eddie asked once his shirt was tossed on the floor.

"Very much." Janet carefully removed his jeans taking extreme care not to touch the raging erection in front of her.

"Now you may remove your bra." The second her bra fell from her body, Eddie had his hands all over her breasts, savoring the feel of the soft skin under his rough hands. Janet moaned and threw her head back in delight and when he finally pulled away she whimpered in despair. "Get on your knees." He told her huskily and Janet immediately obliged. "Take my underwear off and suck me." Without argument Janet removed his boxers and took him in her mouth. "Son of a bitch Janet." Eddie groaned when Janet began to move over him. He reached down and wrapped his fingers in her curls. He didn't force her, he would never do that. Feeling her head moving added to the pleasure he was feeling from Janet's mouth on him and her hand caressing and pinching his ass. "Enough." Eddie growled pulling Janet away from him with a pop.

"Didn't you like it?" She asked from her knees, batting her eyes. Eddie pulled her to her feet.

"I loved it but it's not what I want right now." If she would have continued he would have cum and he wasn't ready for that yet. "Get on the bed on all fours."

"What about…" She hooked her thumbs in her underwear.

"I said get on the bed." With a grin Janet climbed on the bed on her hands and knees. Eddie climbed on the bed behind Janet and took a moment to admire her ass. After running his hands over her panty-clad butt he pulled them down to mid-thigh, spread her legs and inserted two fingers inside her wet, warm center.

"Oh…God…" Janet cried, pushing down onto his fingers. She was already so close that it only took a couple of thrusts and she was orgasming. Watching Janet achieve her first climax, Eddie couldn't wait to be inside of her. Due to his impatience he ripped her underwear from her thighs.

"Eddie…what the hell?"

"Did I tell you that you could talk?" Not given her a chance to respond he thrust himself inside of her, eliciting a scream of pleasure from Janet.

Eddie was ruthless. He pounded into Janet with reckless abandon and she loved every minute of it. She met him thrust for thrust and her words, moans and groans just encouraged him. He managed to give her two more orgasms before he finally exploded inside of his wife, shouting out her name.

"Did I hurt you?" Eddie asked. They had collapsed in on top of each other, sweaty, breathless, exhausted, completely stated and spent.

"Of course not. It was amazing. I love it when you take control."

"I'll admit that I like taking control…sometimes." Janet giggled, turned on her side and kissed Eddie softly until they both heard an annoying beeping sound.

"What the hell is that?" Eddie grumbled, slightly irritated that he had to stop kissing Janet.

"It sounds like…Oh my God." Janet jumped out of bed and grabbed her robe.

"What?"

"It's the smoke alarm." Eddie was out of bed in an instant searching for his pants. "I put a pie in the oven and I forgot about it."

Rushing downstairs they encountered a small amount of smoke but when they got to the kitchen it was full of black smoke. Eddie grabbed two towels, one to hold over his face and one to open the oven with and when he opened the oven smoke came billowing out. Janet opened windows while Eddie struggled to find the burnt pie.

"Can you please turn the alarm off?" Janet shouted.

"I wouldn't have to if you hadn't forgotten that there was a pie in the oven" He shouted with a smirk.

"I got distracted." After the smoke alarm was turned off the couple went into the living room to open the front door and some more windows to air out the house. "Would you like a piece of pie?" Janet cracked and the two of them burst out laughing, and for a few minutes, they weren't thinking about Eddie's possible tumors and their unknown future. They were just living in the moment.


	30. Chapter 30

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Good morning Eddie, Janet." Dr. Turner greeted them when he walked into the exam room. "How are the boys?"

"They are wonderful. They are getting so big." Janet answered.

"They just turned five, right?"

"They did. You have a great memory. We had their birthday party this past weekend. We got them bikes. They haven't come out of the basement since their party."

"So Eddie, how are you feeling?"

"I've have a constant headache for the past month and it's just getting worse every day. Besides that, I feel great."

"Well there is a reason for that." Dr. Turner put Eddie's MRI scans up on the lighted board and Eddie and Janet immediately saw the all too familiar white spot on Eddie's brain that indicated another tumor. It was bigger than any of his previous tumors.

"Wow. That's a biggin." Eddie said and Janet glared at him through her tear-filled eyes.

"Yes Eddie. It's a big tumor."

"Is it cancer?" Janet asked.

"It may be big and scary looking but it's not cancer."

"Thank God."

"So when do we cut my head open again to take it out?"

"We don't."

"Excuse me?"

"Why in the hell not?" Eddie snapped.

"The placement of this tumor, I can't get to it surgically." Eddie was silent.

"So what do we do?" Janet finally asked.

"The only thing we can do. Treat the symptoms."

"What kind of symptoms will he have?"

"Headaches. Some days they may be tolerable, some days not. Probably light sensitivity with the bad headaches. Eventually, there is the possibility of seizures if the tumor gets bigger and depending how deep the tumor infiltrates the brain tissue will depend on other symptoms."

"Am I going to die? Is this massive son of a bitch going to kill me?" Eddie finally asked.

"I can't answer that. You can die from this tomorrow, in a month, a year or you can live for another fifty years. It just depends on if the tumor grows anymore and if it does, then it depends what part of the brain it affects."

"So what you're telling me is that you have no idea if and when it will kill me? You don't know if it will get bigger and you don't know how bad I'll get. What in the hell do you know?"

"Quit being so damn rude." Janet snapped. "It's not his fault that you have another brain tumor."

"Excuse me. I've got to go to the bathroom." Eddie stood from the bed and stormed out of the exam room and into the bathroom down the hall. By the time he shut the bathroom door he had tears streaming down his face. He couldn't believe that this was happening. He couldn't believe that he was going to have to spend the rest of his life in pain and not knowing when it was going to kill him. He would much rather have been told that he has cancer and he has a month to live. At least then he would feel like he had some control over his demise. With his current diagnosis he had no control over anything and that's what he hated the most. If he was going to die, he wanted to be able to say goodbye to his friends, family, his precious boys and Janet. They deserved some closure but he knew if he tried to say goodbye now, the only thing it would accomplish would be upsetting everyone and what would be the point if he lived for another fifty years.

He angrily wiped the tears off of his face. He was angry at the world right now and if he was at home, he very well may have punched a hole into a wall but since he wasn't at home, he just threw some water on his face and scrubbed it with his hands. Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, he dried his face off with a paper towel and returned to his exam room. "Where is Dr. Turner?" He asked.

"He had other patients who actually stay in the room to see."

"Lay the hell off Janet. You have no idea what I'm going through." Eddie snapped.

"I was sitting in this room too. I heard what Dr. Turner said. You aren't dying."

"Not at this particular moment but you heard him. This damn thing could kill me tomorrow, in a week or in a month."

"And so could anything else. We could get into a car accident and die on the way home or in a week or a month. "

"But at least if that happens, I'm not going to be in constant pain until it happens."

"But you'll be alive."

"What kind of life will it be Janet? You have no idea, no idea how bad these headaches are and now that pain, that's what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life, however long or short that may be. You don't have a freaking clue."

"There is pain medicine for that Eddie."

"Yeah because spending my life zonked out on pain medication is the way to live."

"Would you rather be dying?" Before Eddie could answer Dr. Turner walked back in the room.

"Are you okay Eddie?"

"I'm fine. I'm sorry that I walked out." The remainder of the visit was spent with Dr. Turner going over Eddie's treatment options and discussing all of the medication he was going to put him on. Thirty minutes later, Eddie and Janet left the office in silence and the silence continued until Eddie pulled into their driveway.

"Aren't you going into work?" Janet asked.

"No. I have a headache."

"Your head didn't seem to hurt bad enough to keep you from driving home."

"Well it hurts now."

"Of course it does."

"What the hell does that mean?" Janet sighed.

"Nothing. It means nothing." The two of them got out of his truck. "I need to go to the grocery store."

"Fine."

"The boys will be done with preschool in an hour. Can you get them?"

"No. I'm going to take a nap."

"Sleep well." She snapped.

"What the hell Janet?"

"Nothing. I gotta go." Without another word Eddie walked into house and Janet got into the van and drove away.

* * *

"Jacob get back over here." He was running down the aisle. "Jackson don't eat the grapes." Jackson was sitting in the cart eating the grapes Janet had put in there. "Joshua don't you dare open that bag of cookies. Put it back right now." This is why Janet hated grocery shopping by herself with the boys. Usually she came by herself or Eddie came with her to help keep the boys in line but after she left the house she stopped at the pharmacy to get Eddie's prescriptions filled it was time to pick up the boys from school and since she was out she decided to stop at the grocery store and now she regretting it.

"Jacob and Joshua hold on to the cart and don't let go." The boys just ignored her. "Jake and Josh, NOW." The boys knew that tone of voice and they latched themselves onto the cart. "Now, let's finish." And an hour later and multiple "I want this" later Janet was pushing the cart out into the parking lot.

Eddie was sitting in the living room, the same place he had been since Janet left a cou

* * *

ple of hours ago, holding his beer in his hand, the beer that long ago turned warm. As soon as Janet left he grabbed a beer and sat on the couch. He had a headache but it was one that he could tolerate. He needed the time to think alone, without Janet or the boys. He had a lot to process. He had to figure out how he wanted to live the rest of his life, however long or short it may be. By the time Janet and boys pulled into the garage, his mind was much clearer. When he heard his family return, he went to the kitchen, dumped his untouched beer and went to the garage.

"Daddy." He heard the squeal from inside the van.

"Feeling better?" Janet asked coming around the side.

"Yeah I am." He reached out and took her hand. "I'm sorry." Janet pulled her hand out of his.

"Later. There are groceries that need to be brought in." She walked away from him and to the back of the van.

"Daddy. Look what I made in school." Josh said when Eddie opened the van door. He shoved a picture at Eddie.

"Good job Ace. We'll put it on the fridge. Come on guys. Let's help mommy bring in the groceries." The boys climbed out of the van and went to help their mother.

* * *

Eddie walked into the boys' room to let them know that it was time for bed but the three of them were already sound asleep. Every night when Janet and Eddie put the boys in bed they turned on a movie for them so they could relax. In the half hour that they left the television on it gave them time to relax and usually, they were asleep when the television was turned off. He straightened the blankets, turned off the television and then made himself comfortable in the rocking chair that still sat in their room.

As he looked back and forth between the three boys that he and Janet had created, sleeping peacefully, his heart was filled with love and that love cemented the decision that he had made earlier. He was going to live whatever life he had left to the fullest, muddle through the pain, and have no regrets when his death finally occurs.

"What are you doing?" Janet whispered, walking into the dark room.

"Watching the boys."

"Are they okay?"

"They're fine. I was just watching them sleep."

"Come on. Let's talk." Janet walked out of the room and into her bedroom and Eddie slowly got up out of the rocking chair, walked over and kissed each of his boys. After whispering his love to them, he went and joined Janet in their room, shutting the door behind him.

"I brought beer. Thought you could use one."

"Thanks." Eddie said as he reached out and took the cold beer from his wife.

"I figured you can enjoy this one before you start your new medication since you can't mix alcohol with most of your meds that is, if you are planning on taking your medication."

"I'm sorry about how I acted today. It was immature and stupid."

"Yes it was and I was tempted to point it out to you, numerous times today."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I knew that you had to come to realize that for yourself and you did." Eddie grinned.

"I got scared Janet. I got so damn scared."

"What scared you sweetheart?"

"There were so many unknowns. Dr. Turner, he couldn't give me any definite answers and I don't do well with the unknown. He couldn't tell me for sure if this damn tumor in my head is going to kill me. Knowing that this thing might kill me at anytime, it scares the hell out of me. The only thing I could think of is dying suddenly and not being able to say goodbye to you and our boys. What would be your last memory? Would you guys know how I felt about you?" Tears began to fall from Eddie's eyes.

"We know how much you love us. You show us everyday how much you love us and you were to die tomorrow there would be no doubt in our minds of your love for us."

"This pisses me off. I want to see our boys grow up, get married and have their own families. I want to grow old with you. I want to see your hair turn gray."

"Look closely. You can see the gray if you want." Eddie managed to smile.

"I don't know how I should live. Should I squeeze in everything that I have ever wanted our family to do in the next few months? Do I write letters to you and the boys? Do I make videos? What in the hell do I do?"

"I think that you should live your life normally, as if you weren't dying."

"Nick's mom, she knew that she was going to die and she never told him or Ronnie and he never got to say goodbye. Nick regrets that more than anything. I don't want the boys having that same kind of regret."

"Right now, the boys are five. They won't understand. They're too young. If it will make you feel better write letters to the boys and when they get older we can explain your situation to them."

"I want to do that. I want to leave the boys with some sort of closure." Janet nodded.

"When Dr. Turner told us that you could basically day at any moment the first thing I thought of was moving our trip to Disney World from this summer to now, in case you weren't around to take them but then I heard him say that you could live another fifty years and I decided that we didn't need to do that. I want to live as normally as we can for as long as we can and take that trip this summer like we had planned. I don't want to spend whatever time that we have left thinking about your possible death that may not occur for another fifty years. I want to spend that time loving you and I want you to spend that time loving me and the boys. Can you do that Eddie? Will you do that for me and the boys?"

"I will Janet. I want that too."

* * *

"Hey mom. I'm home." Janet called as she walked into the backyard. She heard the boys' laughter coming from the backyard when she got out of the van. Janet's mom and husband, Tom came into town for the boys' pre-school graduation. Since Janet was working at Best Friend Windows Sharon was watching the boys while Janet worked.

"Hey sweetheart," Sharon greeted.

"Hi Janet. How was work?" Tom asked.

"Good. I miss the boys but it's nice to be working again."

"Hi mama." Jackson called. "We're swimming."

"I see that." The boys were playing in the pool that Eddie and Janet had bought for them.

"Have you boys been good for grandma and grandpa?"

"Yeah." All three boys answered. Janet looked at her mother for confirmation and Sharon nodded.

"It was a great idea buying this pool. They are like fish. They love to swim."

"As soon as we got back from school they asked to come out here and…"

"Jacob Edward don't you dare." Janet interrupted her mother to yell at her son. Janet saw Jacob come up behind Joshua with a bucket full of water. "Jacob I mean it." Janet stared down her son until he dropped the bucket but the second Janet turned away from Jacob to talk to her mom, Jacob dumped the water over his brother's head and Josh began to wail and while he cried he inhaled some of the water which led him to start choking. Janet rushed over to her son and picked him up.

"Jacob, out right now." Janet yelled as she carried her crying boy over to the picnic table. Jacob slowly got out of the pool and followed his mother. "You are done swimming. Go have a seat on the deck." Janet told Jacob who immediately began crying.

"But…"

"Go. Now." Jacob sobbed his way to the deck and Janet began to comfort Joshua.

"Joshie, you have to calm down. "

"Jake…water…head…"

"I know but you're okay. Stop crying." Josh tried to calm himself down and as usual whenever he was upset and crying he ended up having an asthma attack. Janet quickly grabbed Josh's inhaler that was always nearby. "Okay baby. You know the drill." Janet placed the inhaler in Josh's mouth. "On three sweetheart. One. Two. Three." Like a pro, Josh inhaled his medication and a few minutes later Josh's breathing returned to normal.

"Can I go back in the pool?" Joshua sniffed ten minutes later. He was now breathing normally.

"As long as you take it easy."

"I will mommy." Once Josh was back in the pool, Janet went up onto the deck to deal with Jacob.

"Can I go swimming?" Jacob asked.

"Nope. You are done."

"I'm sorry I dumped the water on Josh."

"I'm glad you are sorry but you didn't listen to me so have to have a consequence."

"Please mommy. I will be good."

"You should have been good when I asked you not to pour the water over your brother. Now you sit here and watch your brothers play in the pool." Josh started crying and Janet walked away from him.

"You broke his heart." Sharon said.

"He'll get over it. Have you heard anything from Eddie?" Sharon shook her head. "I'm going to go check on him. If I'm not back out here in fifteen minutes will you get the boys out of the pool?"

"Of course."

Since Eddie's diagnosed inoperable tumor things have been pretty good. He lived with a constant headache but most days he could tolerate them. During the last month he has had a couple of severe headaches that landed him in the emergency room. Janet told him not to let the pain get ahead of him; take a pill when it starts to hurt but he didn't listen. He waited until the pain got unbearable and by that point the pain medication he had didn't work and he ended up in the hospital. After the hospital visits Eddie decided to listen to his wife and not let the pain get ahead of him.

He came home from work today after only working for an hour because his headache was getting bad and he needed some pain medication. Janet hadn't heard from him all day so she figured that he was pretty miserable. Opening the bedroom door as quietly as she could in case he was sleeping, Janet crossed the threshold and immediately heard Eddie puking in the bathroom. Janet turned and quickly went downstairs to the kitchen to grab one of suppositories for nausea and vomiting that had to be kept refrigerated and then returned upstairs to the master bathroom.

"Hey baby." Janet whispered. "How long has this been going on?"

"Depends what time…" He couldn't finish his sentence because he had to bury his head in the toilet again.

"I brought you something." Janet told him when he stopped vomiting. She held out the suppository.

"Thank you." Unlike his dream, Eddie had no problems using a suppository. He didn't care what it took; he just wanted to stop throwing up. Janet left him alone to take care of his business and fifteen minutes later he returned to their bed in the darkened bedroom.

"Feeling better?" Janet asked as he climbed back into bed.

"Yeah. I wanted to go get the suppository but I couldn't leave the damn toilet." Janet went into the bathroom, wet a washcloth and returned, laying it on his head. "How much time do I have before we have to leave?"

"An hour and a half but baby you don't have to come. I'll record it and you can watch it when you feel better." Eddie adamantly shook his head.

"The boys will only graduate from preschool once and I'm going to be there."

"Sweetheart…"

"No Janet. I'll be fine. I just need a little more rest. Will you wake me in an hour?"

"Of course."

During the next hour Janet had to get herself and the boys ready, which proved to be no easy suit. Rarely did she dress the three boys alike but for their graduation ceremony, she did. She put all three of them in khaki dress shorts and a button down shirt and then she put a different color clip-on tie on each of them and they looked so handsome. She couldn't wait for Eddie to see them.

"Daddy!" Jacob yelled when his father walked into the living room. The three of them jumped up and raced over to their beloved father but Tom stepped in to stop them at the last second to stop from attacking him with love.

"Easy there boys. Remember, daddy isn't feeling good." Tom reminded them. "Go easy on your dad." The boys slowly walked over and hugged their dad.

"You guys look great." Eddie told them.

"We're grabuating daddy." Josh told him.

"I know."

"Why are you wearing your sunglasses in the house?" Jackson asked him.

"My head hurts champ and light makes it hurt worse so the sunglasses help." Eddie explained.

"Can I wear my sunglasses?" Jacob asked.

"Sorry sport but it's not happening."

"That's not fair." Jake grumbled.

"What's not fair is you dumping water all over your brother's head." A look of surprise crossed Jacob's face. "Yep. Your mom told me what you did. Why didn't you listen to her Jake?"

"I dunno."

"Not a good answer. Look sport, I need you to listen to your mom. Can you do that?"

"Yes sir."

"Is everybody ready to graduate?" Janet asked walking into the living room.

"Yes." The boys yelled and Eddie flinched.

"Remember guys, no yelling in the house." Janet chastised gently. She knew their loud voices didn't help his headache. "Okay, let's go."

The Latekka family headed out to the garage and piled into the van. The boys never fought over seats because they always alternated seats. Every day the boys were assigned a seat and they went to their assigned seat without argument. Since Eddie was still pretty doped up on pain medication, Janet drove the short distance to the community center where the graduation was being held. By the time that the van pulled into the preschool parking lot, the boys were excited.

"Come on guys. Let's go." Janet told her four boys and they all got out. "Hands." Jacob and Josh each grabbed one of her hands while Jackson held onto Josh's other hand. It was a requirement that the boys were well aware of whenever they were in a parking lot. Janet's mom and Tom followed them to the preschool and met them at the door. "Hey can you guys go in with Eddie and grab us some seats while I take the boys in?" Sharon and Tom nodded.

"How many seats do we need babe?" Eddie asked. He knew Janet had told him who was coming but he was in too much pain to think.

"Including us ten."

"Who in the hell is coming?"

"Me, you, Mom, Tom, your parents, Ikey, Katie, Nick and Hannah."

"Okay, Ten seats. Got it." Janet had to bite her lip to keep from crying as she watched Eddie shuffle into the community center.

* * *

The clapping was killing him and his three year old niece who was sitting, not so still in his lap was not helping either. Ashton adored her Uncle Eddie and Eddie adored his sister's daughter so any other day, he would have loved having her on his lap, but today, with every movement that she made, it just seemed to make his head hurt worse. Katie and Ikey tried to take her but she refused so Eddie was just dealing with it.

"Here they come. I see them." Janet whispered excitedly to her husband and when Eddie saw the triplets walking down the main aisle, looking so damn cute with their cardboard hats and tassels, the pain didn't seem to matter. All that mattered was he was watching his boys graduate from preschool. He smiled and laughed as the preschooler's sang a couple of songs. He waved back when Joshua found them and waved. When it was time for their names to be called, Janet went to the front so she could get pictures of the boys accepting their diplomas. Once they had their diplomas in hand they walked through a cut out schoolhouse door they raised both of their hands in victory and it was the cutest thing ever.

After the graduation was over and Janet had taken dozens of pictures the group decided to take a trip to McDonalds to celebrate, it was the best option for such a large group. Eddie was going to go but it was obvious to everyone, except his children how much pain he was in so Janet Eddie's parents graciously offered to take the boys with them so Janet could take Eddie home and even though he wanted to be with his family, he agreed to go home.

"Do you need anything baby? Are you hungry?" Janet asked once they got home and Eddie settled on the couch.

"No I can't eat."

"Have you ate anything since breakfast?" He shook his head. "You need to eat. I'll make you a couple pieces of toast."

"Thanks." Eddie mumbled with closed eyes. Janet kissed his head and went to make him some toast. Once she was alone in the kitchen she let the few tears that she had been holding back fall. It broke her heart to see him in such physical and emotional pain. The physical pain was caused by his headache but the emotional pain was due to the fact that he didn't enjoy the graduation as much as he would have had he not had a headache and she knew that made him feel like less of a father even though he wasn't.

"Here you go." Janet handed him a plate with two pieces of toast and a glass of iced tea and Eddie forced the toast down. "Do you want to take another pill and go to bed?"

"Soon. I just want to sit for awhile. Will you sit with me?"

"Of course." Janet snuggled next to Eddie and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

"I can't wait until this headache goes away and I can watch the tape of the graduation and really enjoy it."

"I know the boys were glad that you were there and so was I."

"In my dream, I missed our wedding night and the birth of our baby because of the tumor. I told you that I am not going to let a headache keep me from missing my life, my boys' life, and our life. I'm not letting it happen." His coma dream happened seven years ago but it was ever present in his mind.

"I know." Janet said softly.

"There is something that I want to talk to you about."

"Sure."

"Janet I want another baby."

**Thanks for reading. Reviews are always appreciated. **


	31. Chapter 31

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"Janet I want a baby." Eddie told her and for a minute, Janet didn't say anything. She was in shock. "Janet?"

"Are you insane?"

"No I'm not."

"Your headache must be getting to you."

"It's not my headache talking. I want another baby, a baby girl."

"Why?"

"Holding Ashton tonight at the graduation, it made me realize that I want a little girl. I love the boys and wouldn't trade them for anything but there is just something about girls. Keeping with the tradition, we can name her Jocelyn Edith."

"You're crazy. Eddie. Even if I wanted another baby, which I don't, there is no guarantee that it would be a girl."

"You don't want a baby?" Eddie was actually acting surprised.

"No I don't want a baby."

"Why?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?"

"Yes. I am seriously asking you that."

"Well the main reason is the fact that I can't get pregnant. Remember? It took a lot of money and doctors for me to get pregnant. We just paid the loan off that we got for the boys."

"Since that loan is paid off we can get another loan to do it again."

"That's true but basically, I don't want to get pregnant again. In case you have forgotten I did not have the most pleasant pregnancy. I was miserable and I had a lot of complications. I don't want to go through that again."

"You don't know that another pregnancy will be like the first one."

"Okay maybe not but one thing I know for sure is IVF can result in multiple pregnancies. Jake, Josh and Jax are proof of that."

"So what is wrong with that?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?"

"Yes. I am seriously asking you that."

"For crying out loud Eddie. First of all we don't have room. "

"We can add on."

"With what money Eddie? We are doing fine financially now. We have enough money to take care of our family and do nice things for them. We can't afford another child or children. This summer we are going to have to start buying school supplies and clothes and we will continue to do that for the next thirteen years. School clothes and supplies are not cheap and to add to everything else we have we now have your medical bills."

"No one ever waits until they can afford it Janet."

"I do not want to struggle financially to raise our children. It's not fair to them."

"It won't be a struggle. We would find a way. We always do." Janet sighed in irritation.

"Let me give you a reason that you will understand. Since your tumor came back you haven't exactly been a real hands-on dad. You're headaches get so bad and you are down for the count for days leaving me with the boys. The boys hardly see you anymore so why bring another child into the world who may not…" Janet stopped speaking. She never intended for the conversation to go this far.

"Who may not know her dad?" Eddie finished for her.

"Yeah. Why in the hell would I want to bring a child into the world who may not know its father? How is that fair to any of us?" Janet wanted to cry and tears filled her eyes but she refused to let them fall.

"So you think that I'm going to die?"

"Most days no, but there are some days that I do." She told him. "And you think it too. That's why you are suddenly pushing for a baby."

"Wow. Thanks for the support."

"It's not about support. You have my never-ending support. This is about the facts Eddie. My God, I don't want you to die but lately, you're so miserable. I'm so scared, everyday wondering…"

"Wondering if it will be the day that I die?"

"Yes. Now can you understand why I don't want to bring another child into the world?"

"Dr. Turner said I could live another fifty years with this damn tumor."

"I am very optimistic Eddie. I want you to live at least another fifty and even if that is the case, I still don't want another child."

"You know, I didn't fight you when you wanted to get pregnant so why are you fighting me?"

"Oh my God." She yelled and he flinched. "We agreed to have a baby. It was something that we both wanted unless of course, you never wanted a baby or three for that matter."

"Of course I wanted the boys. Getting pregnant was the best decision that I or we ever made, besides marrying you of course." Janet sighed and sat next to Eddie.

"I'm sorry babe. I didn't mean to insinuate that you didn't want the boys. I just…"

"I know but you should know that I don't want another baby just because I might be dying. You are an amazing mother Janet and you deserve to have a little girl."

"I am perfectly happy with my three boys. Aren't you?"

"Yeah Janet I am. I guess all of these pain meds are getting to me." He leaned over and kissed her softly. "I think that I'm going to take some more and hit the sack."

"Don't go to bed angry."

"I'm not mad. My head just hurts."

"I love you."

"I love you too." Janet kissed her husband and then watched as he slowly shuffled upstairs.

Once he was in his room he went to the closest and pulled out their video camera and set it up. He heard the boys return and he knew he would have a few hours to do what he needed to do. He wanted to videotape a goodbye to his wife and children, in case he didn't make it fifty more years.

"Hi Jax, Josh and Jake. It's me, your dad and if you are watching this than I'm not around anymore." Eddie began tearfully.

* * *

"Tonight is Joshie's turn to pick out a bedtime book." Janet told her three angels.

"I know exactly which one I want." Josh exclaimed, jumping out of bed and running over to their bookcase. Janet also knew which book he would pick. He was obsessed with a Lion King book. Jacob and Jackson always picked a different book but Josh always picked the same book, or at least he has for the past couple of months.

"Not again." Jacob whined.

"Hush your mouth."

"He picks the same book every single night." Jackson informed her.

"It's his choice. He gets to pick whatever he wants just like you do on your night."

"Here mommy." Josh handed her the book.

"All right boys. Under the covers." The boys climbed under the blankets and Janet made herself in the rocking chair and began to read about the Lion King.

"Do the voices mommy." Josh requested. "Like daddy does."

"I'm not good at making the voices."

"Come on mom. Please." Janet sighed but couldn't say no to the puppy dog looks on her boys' faces so she attempted to talk like a lion and all three boys, burst out laughing, which caused Janet to start laughing. She really did sound pathetic.

"What's so funny in here?" Eddie asked from the doorway.

"Mama." Jackson managed to get out while laughing.

"Apparently I don't do a very good lion voice." She explained to her husband.

"Will you do it daddy?" Jacob asked or begged.

"If your mom doesn't mind, I would love to." Janet nodded.

"It's perfectly okay with me." She vacated the rocking chair and Eddie took it. As Janet began to walk away, Eddie reached out, grabbed her hand and pulled her down onto his lap.

"Stay." He whispered and she simply smiled in agreement. "Okay boys. Where did mom leave off?"

"Start over." The three boys yelled at the same time.

"Okay. I guess that I am starting over." Janet wrapped an arm around his shoulder and Eddie began to read. He really was great at making different voices and the boys loved it.

After the story, Eddie and Janet tucked the boys in bed, turned on their movie and then headed downstairs to the living room. "The boys really enjoyed their story." Janet commented as they settled onto the couch.

"It's just a story."

"You are a wonderful father Eddie. Maybe to you it's just a story but to them, it's a memory. They will remember their daddy reading them a story with funny voices and one day, when they have their own kids, and they are reading them a story, using funny voices they will remember the stories you read."

"I hope so." He said quietly.

"How is your headache?"

"Okay."

"Did you get some sleep?"

"No."

"No?" Eddie figured that he night as well tell her what he was doing. He didn't want to keep anything from her.

"I was making a video for the boys, in case…"

"Oh sweetheart."

"I'm not planning on dying anytime soon."

"Then why?"

"If I do die, unexpectedly, then I want the boys to have closure. I want them to…I want to be able to say goodbye to them. I want to give them one last memory."

"Baby, you've given them a lifetime of memories already."

"Kids don't remember much from their age. I know I don't. I just don't want to take any chances. I don't want them to forget me."

"They will never forget you Eddie Latekka. I would never let that happen, never."

"I'm counting on that." Eddie leaned over and gently kissed his wife. "I still would love to have another baby Janet but I also know the reasons why you don't and those reasons make sense to me. I'm sorry I pushed you."

"I understand you're reasons as well. I wish I felt differently but I don't. You know that I love you so much that I would do most anything for you but having another baby is not one of them."

"I..I…"

"Eddie? Babe? What's wrong?" He was staring off into space, not answering her. "EDDIE!" Janet she said loudly. She reached out and the second that her hand was on his deltoid muscle his body began to shake and Janet froze. Dr. Turner warned her that seizures may occur and what to do if and when they occurred but she couldn't remember at this moment.

"Mommy?" Janet looked away from Eddie and saw a terrified Jackson standing there.

"Jackson go to your room."

"Our movie stopped." His voice was shaking and Eddie began to jerk more violently.

"Go to your room." Janet was trying to hold Eddie so he didn't fall.

"Mommy what's wrong with daddy?" Jackson was crying now.

"Jackson, GO." Janet yelled and he turned around and ran back upstairs. She knew he was scared and confused but right now, she had to concentrate on Eddie.

"Ow." Eddie jerked and elbowed her in the face. She lost her grip on him and he fell to the floor. She remembered the doctor told her to move anything out of the way that could hurt him so she moved the end table and sat their helplessly as tears streamed down her face until he finally stopped shaking. She moved to floor and cradled his head in her lap.

"Eddie, sweetheart, are you okay?" She asked when he began to groan.

"What happened?"

"You had a seizure."

"My tongue hurts."

"Let me see." Eddie stuck out his tongue.

"It looks like you bit it babe." Eddie looked confused.

"Why am I on the floor?"

"You fell. Are you okay? Are you hurt at all, besides your tongue?"

"I'm tired." Since he was okay, Janet needed to get him upstairs to bed so she could check on her scared little boys.

"How about I help you upstairs to bed?" He nodded and sat up and then swayed a bit. "Whoa. I'm a little dizzy."

"Let's move slow." Janet stood and pulled Eddie to his feet. She wrapped an arm around his waist and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and together, they slowly shuffled upstairs.

"The boys. Why are they crying?" He had just got settled into bed and he heard the boys when they got to the top of the stairs.

"I'm not sure. I'll go check on them." She hated lying to him, but she didn't want him to know that Jackson walked in on a seizure. He would be devastated. "Do you need anything?"

"Sleep. I'm so tired."

"Yell if you need anything sweetheart." He nodded, closing his eyes. "I love you."

"Me too." He mumbled sleepily. Janet kissed his head and then walked across the hall, leaving their bedroom door open in case he needed her.

"Mommy." The three boys sobbed when she walked in. Janet shut the door, sat on Jacob's bed and the three of them walked into her open arms.

"Jax said something is wrong with daddy."Josh cried.

"What's wrong with daddy?" Jacob asked through his tears.

"He was shaking. You were crying." Jackson said.

"Daddy is sick." Janet told her children. They had been trying to keep Eddie's tumor from the boys because they are so young, but after what Jackson saw tonight, she knew that they could no longer keep it from them.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked.

"There is a bump in daddy's head that makes his head hurt." She figured a bump was the best way to explain a brain tumor to three five year olds.

"Why was he shaking? It scared me." Jackson told his mother.

"Show me where your brains are." Janet requested and the three boys pointed to their heads. "Do you understand that your brains tell us what to do? It's our brains that tell us when we are hungry, thirsty, tired or when we have to pee." The boys giggled. "It's our brains that tell us to move our arms and legs. The bump in daddy's head, it's on his brain and it's pressing on the part of the brain that tells his body to shake and that's why daddy was shaking."

"Why does daddy have a bump in his brain?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know."

"Can't the doctor take it out?" Josh inquired.

"No baby, they can't."

"Is daddy going to shake again?" Janet pulled her boys closer.

"Yes he might."

"It scared me." Jackson admitted tearfully.

"I know that it looks scary but it's not. Daddy doesn't remember it."

"Does it hurt?" Jacob whispered.

"No sweetheart. It doesn't hurt. Look guys, I need you to promise me something." The three of them nodded. "If you see daddy shaking and I'm not around you need to come and get me. Don't try to help him."

"Okay." They whispered.

"Why can't we help daddy?" Josh asked.

"When daddy is shaking, he doesn't realize what he is doing and you may get hurt. Just come and get me."

"Is daddy going to get better?" Although Jackson was the one who asked the question, all three boys wanted to hear the answer.

"The bump in daddy's head will never go away. Some days, he will be fine and other days his head will hurt."

"I don't want daddy to be sick."

"Me either Josh. All right boys, in bed."

"But…"

"No buts. It's late." The boys slowly climbed into their own beds where Janet kissed each of them. "I love you guys, very much." Janet told them from the doorway.

"I love you too." The boys answered together.

"Good night my sweet boys." She shut their door to calls of goodnight.

Janet crossed the hallway to her bedroom and found Eddie sound asleep in the same position that she left him in. Seeing the video camera on the dresser she went over and grabbed it along with the two tapes sitting next to it. She quietly shut the door and went downstairs.

She knew she shouldn't watch the video he made for the boys but she needed to. She plugged the charger in, sat on couch and popped the first tape in the camcorder. Tears filled her eyes as soon as Eddie uttered his first sentence and she just sobbed throughout the video. She knew he needed to make this video for the boys but he needed to do it more for himself. He needed to feel that he will give closure to the boys if, God, forbid, he died.

Watching this video, it made Janet's heart break. The thought of losing Eddie, it was a thought that she didn't want to have but unfortunately, it was a thought that was always present. Curious about what was on the second video she popped it in the camcorder. She guessed that it was one of the numerous videos of the boys that they had but she was shocked when Eddie came onto the tiny screen.

"Hiya sweetheart. If you are watching this then I'm gone but I hope that you are seeing this fifty years after I made this. I need to tell you…" Janet shut the camcorder off. She couldn't watch this. She hoped like hell, she never had to watch this. After placing the camcorder on the floor she laid on the couch, buried her head in a pillow and sobbed. Since learning about Eddie's tumor, Janet had been putting on a brave face around her boys. She couldn't or wouldn't cry around them. They needed her to be strong so since they were all in bed, she had the cry that she needed.

* * *

Janet was roused from her sleep with soft kisses on her face. She slowly pried her eyes opened and smiled when she looked into her husband's hazel eyes. "Good morning." She mumbled.

"Good morning." Eddie responded, kissing her softly.

"What time is it?" Janet asked when Eddie broke the kiss.

"7:30."

"Really Eddie? It's Saturday and you woke me up at 7:30?"

"I woke up and couldn't sleep and I got lonely." Janet couldn't help but smile.

"Well I guess I can't be mad can I?"

"Nope." Eddie lifted his hand to her cheek and ran his finger around her eye and cheek. "What happened? You have a bruise." Janet reached up and touched the spot that Eddie's finger was tracing and flinched at the tenderness.

"One of the boys must have hit me."

"Janet what happened?" She was a horrible liar and he knew she was lying to him.

"You planted your elbow in my face during your seizure."

"Oh God, Janet I am so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault babe. You didn't know what you were doing and you had no control over your actions. Make-up will cover it up and it will be all good." Janet lifted her head and kissed him. "No worries Eddie." She assured him as she settled her head on his bare chest.

"Why were the boys crying last night?" Janet knew she couldn't lie to him.

"Jackson came downstairs during your seizure."

"Oh my God. I scared him didn't I?"

"You didn't scare him Eddie. It was the seizure that scared him. They are very scary to watch. I couldn't explain to him what was going on. I just yelled at him to go to his room. He was scared and confused and I'm sure that he told Josh and Jake what he saw and they got freaked out as well."

"What did you tell them about what was or is happening to me?"

"I was an honest with them as I could be. We discussed what our brains do, everything, and then I told them that you had a bump inside your head that made your head hurt."

"What about the seizure?"

"I told them that the bump sometimes will press against the part of your brain that makes your body shake and when it does that you will shake."

"Thanks Janet."

"For what?"

"For being honest with them and explaining what's going on. I just don't want them to be afraid of me."

"They're not and no matter what happens the future, as long as we are honest with them, then they will have no reason to be scared."

"I'm scared." Eddie admitted.

"Of what?" Janet asked, although she knew the answer.

"Of what is happening to me and what will happen to me." Tears filled his eyes. "I'm not ready to die."

"We're not ready for that either baby. I guess the only thing that we can do is live everyday to its fullest and treasure the time that we have left." She reached up and wiped the single tear off of his cheek that had fallen.

"I really, really love you Janet. You know that, right?"

"I have never doubted that." Eddie suddenly pulled away from Janet, got out of bed and walked over and locked their bedroom door. "Mr. Latekka why are you locking the door?"

"We have some time before the boys wake up so I thought that I would show you just how much I love you." Since Eddie started stripping on his way back to bed Janet sat up in bed and did the same.

"You know you don't have to show me. I know how much you love me." Eddie climbed in the bed, on top of his wife.

"I know but it is nice to be reminded once in awhile isn't it?"

"It sure is." With a tender smile and a face full of love Eddie closed the distance and with a kiss he began to show his wife, how very much he loved her.


	32. Chapter 32

**I own none of the characters of October Road**

"You have got to be kidding me!" Eddie snapped at his doctor.

"I'm sorry Eddie but that's the law. You can't have your driver's license as long as you are experiencing active seizures." Dr. Turner explained.

"That is such crap. Now, I'm going to have to rely on other people to take me where I need to go. I have a job for crying out loud."

"Think about it Eddie. What will happen if you are out on the road, driving with your boys in the car and you have a seizure? You would lose control of the car, crash and possibly kill yourself and your children. Is that a risk you are willing to take Eddie?"

"No sir."

"So you see why this has to be done." Eddie nodded sadly.

"How long will my license be gone?"

"Until you go a year without a seizure. I have already faxed the information to the DMV so by the end of business today you will no longer be a licensed driver. They will send you an official notice."

"It won't be that bad babe. We work at the same place." Janet told him and he didn't respond.

"Now Eddie, you have a physical job correct?"

"Please tell me that you aren't going to make me quit working. I need to work. I have a family to support."

"No I'm not going to tell you to quit work. How much you do, what tools you use that's going to be your call. Just be smart about what you do but one thing I will tell you not to do is climb on a ladder. Maybe more paperwork would be a good idea."

"I hate paperwork." He mumbled.

"If I am unable to get your seizures under control then I will only let you do paperwork, if you're lucky and don't try to hide them from me."

"I won't."

"Now when was the last time you had a seizure?"

"I had two yesterday." He admitted.

"How bad were they?"

"I don't remember."

"Janet?" Dr. Turner asked.

"I don't what is considered a bad seizure."

"How long did they last?"

"Not very long at all even though they felt like forever." Janet went on to tell the doctor the specifics of the four seizures that Eddie had.

The rest of the visit was spent discussing Eddie's seizures, precautions to take during the seizures and actions to take following a seizure. Dr. Turner suggested that Eddie get as much rest as possible because studies have shown that fatigue can trigger seizures. By the end of the visit Eddie had a new prescription for his headaches and for his seizures to hopefully prevent them but it wouldn't start working with the first dose so Dr. Turner warned the couple to watch out for seizures for the next week.

"So maybe you should take this week off of work." Janet suggested on their way home.

"No." Eddie simply replied.

"I think that it's a good idea to let your body get used to the medication before you start working."

"We can't afford it."

"We can't afford you having a seizure at work and getting hurt."

"I have to work Janet."

"Eddie, we're fine."

"It's not because of the money. I have to work. I have to do something. I can't just sit at home and wait for the next seizure to happen." Janet understood where he was coming from but she was terrified that he would push himself, possibly up on a ladder and have a seizure.

"What about just hanging out with me at the office and work on some paperwork?" She suggested.

"I am not the kind of person who can sit behind a desk. That's not me."

"But why can't it be you for just a few days? There are customers waiting on their estimates to be written up. Its good customer service to get them done quickly and I can't do that."

"I own half the damn company. I have to put in my share of the work instead of just sitting on my ass."

"You aren't just sitting on your ass Eddie. You will be working just not like you are used to. You're sick Eddie and you need to take it easy so things don't get worse. Once things are back to normal, you can put up windows and climb ladders from dusk till dawn." Eddie was silent for a few minutes. "Babe?"

"I hate this Janet. I freaking hate this."

"I know."

"No Janet. You don't know. You don't know what it's like to lose control of your life."

"I meant that I know that you hate it. I don't know what you are going through. I don't know how you are feeling but I can understand if you tell me."

"I feel like I have no control over anything in my life right now. I can no longer drive. I'm being told that I shouldn't work the way that I want to work. I feel like I have a babysitter. I am terrified to be left alone with the boys in case something happens. I'm tired of being in pain with my freaking headaches. I'm tired of being sick. I feel like a ticking time bomb and I'm just waiting to see what the next thing will be to go wrong. I just want to feel normal again." He admitted softly.

"Sweetheart I will do whatever I need to do to help you feel like you have control. Hopefully, these new medicines will work and things won't be so bad."

"If they don't work Janet, I don't know how much more of this I can take." Janet suddenly felt sick to her stomach and she pulled over. Putting the van in park she took a deep breath, unbuckled her seat belt and turned to face her husband. He was staring out the window. She reached out and turned his face towards her and when she saw him and the tears streaming down his face, her heart broke for him.

"Please Eddie, don't talk like that." Janet begged tearfully. "I know you are hurting all the time and I know you are scared but please don't talk like that. When you do I start to think that you are giving up. You absolutely cannot give up. You have to fight for our family; for your three sons; for me. We all love you so damn much Eddie. I can't promise that things are going to get better but if they don't all four us are going to be right beside you. Do you hear me?" He nodded. "You are a born fighter Eddie so don't stop now. Don't give up."

"I won't."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

"Mommy, daddy, its Disneyworld day." Joshua shouted as he, Jackson and Jacob jumped on top of their parent's bed. Today was the day that they along with Laura, Jack, Sharon, Tom, Katie, Ikey and Ashton were leaving for their family vacation at Disneyworld.

"Ummph." Eddie and Janet grunted.

"Get up. Get up" Jackson demanded.

"Time?" Eddie managed to get out and Janet glanced at the clock.

"5:03." Janet answered and Eddie groaned. "Guys, you are up way to early."

"But you said when we wake up we will go to Disneyworld." Jacob told them.

"Well you woke up too early. It's not time to go. It's still dark out so you have two options." Eddie began. "You can go back to your room and either sit quietly or go back to sleep or you can stay in bed with me and mom."

"Stay here." The three boys shouted.

"If you stay here with us then you have to lay still and be quiet. Can you do that?"

"Yes sir." The triplets said and Eddie grinned.

"All right get up here with us." Eddie and Janet each scooted to the far end of the bed and the three boys scrambled up and settled under the covers in between their parents. Eddie and Janet knew that if the boys returned to their room, they would just talk and play. If they stayed with them and were forced to be quiet then they would fall back asleep for a few more hours of much needed sleep.

"How long do we…" Jackson began.

"Hey. What did your dad say?" Janet interrupted.

"Be quiet and lay still."

"Then I suggest you do it."

"Yes ma'am."

It took about a half an hour for the boys to stop tossing and turning before they finally fell back asleep. Once Eddie and Janet recognized the sound of their even breathing, they reached across the bodies of their three children, linked hands and smiled, sleepily at each other, treasuring this moment until Eddie's eyes drifted closed and he fell back asleep.

Janet didn't fall back asleep right away. She lay on her side and just watched all four of her boys sleep. Over the past month Eddie had been doing really well. It took his body a couple of weeks before his seizure medication seemed to start working and those couple of weeks seemed so very long. He had anywhere from two to four seizures a day for the first week and by the beginning of the second week he was down to one a day and they seemed to be gone by the end of the week and since then he had only had two seizures and they were minor. He still got headaches and the new pain medication seemed to slightly dull the pain but they were still constant but Eddie just sucked it up and dealt with the constant pain.

After his breakdown in the van Eddie reluctantly agreed to spend the next week in the office working on paperwork and it was a good thing he did because he suffered the majority of seizures during that week while at work. Besides the seizures, the week wasn't so bad mainly because he and Janet got to spend the week together during the day without the boys. Janet had been working at Best Friend Windows for a few months by that time and had really turned their office around. It was running much more efficiently than it had ever before. Most of the time while together at the office, Eddie and Janet maintained a professional working relationship. In fact, he actually told her that while working she needed to refer to him as Mr. Latekka and she promptly snorted and refused. Occasionally, when no one was around they would steal kisses and when Eddie returned to "the field" as he liked to call it, he would always kiss his wife, regardless of who was there before leaving and returning.

Janet thought about that terrifying conversation in the van every day since it happened and she watched him like a hawk for any signs of depression or hopelessness but he was doing a very good job of hiding his fears but Janet knew him too well and she knew that he still struggled with those feelings on a daily basis. As long as he was putting forth the effort to remain positive and upbeat than Janet wasn't go to say anything but her heart continued to break for him when she saw the pain in his eyes on a daily basis from his headaches. Even with his headaches, Eddie spent as much time with his boys and Janet as he could squeeze into a day. He was well aware of the fact that one day he would probably be gone from their lives so he was making every day that he had with them count which was why he was really looking forward to their Disneyworld vacation. He was planning on making some memories that would last his family a lifetime.

Janet and Eddie managed to get about another hour and a half worth of sleep before the excited boys woke up. It was quite amusing to their parents who woke up the instant the boys began to stir, at their effort to remain quiet. Once they woke, they couldn't lay still and when they tried to move carefully the whole bed ended up moving and someone always ended up getting kicked and they couldn't whisper if their life depended on it. Their parents decided to torture them for a few minutes and they pretended like they were sleeping but it was hard not to smile as they listened to their boys "whisper" about how excited they were about Disneyworld.

"Look, daddy's awake." Jackson exclaimed. "Is mommy awake?"

"Nope."Josh answered.

"I think you guys need to wake her up." Eddie suggested.

"I'm up." She was not about to let the boys jump and shake her.

"Is it time to go and get on the plane?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah and go to Disneyworld." Jackson added.

"Not yet."

"When?" The three boys whined.

"When we say it is." Janet told them. "Now go and get dressed. I laid your clothes out for you. When that's done then get your teeth brushed and then you can watch television until it's time to go."

"But…"Josh started to complain but Eddie stopped him.

"Listen to your mother." He demanded nicely. He knew that they were excited and so he wasn't going to be mean dad unless he absolutely had to be. The boys slowly started to climb off of their parent's bed.

"Hey aren't you forgetting something?" Janet asked them before they were off of the bed.

"No." Jackson and Jacob answered.

"Mommy's kiss." Joshua, their sweet and sensitive child answered. He scrambled over to his mother, before his brothers got to her and he gave her one big smooch. "Morning mommy."

"Good morning Joshie." Josh's two brother's quickly followed the youngest's lead.

"Hey what am I? Chopped liver?" Eddie asked once the boys were done greeting their mother and were heading to their room. The boys instantly started giggling. "Why don't I get a morning kiss?"

"You're not chopped liver." Jacob told him.

"You're chopped farts." Jackson informed his father.

"JACKSON." Janet chastised with a smile. She knew very well that farts and boys go hand in hand. Eddie sent his son wink as the boys jumped back on the bed to give him his morning kiss.

Once the boys finally left the room Eddie rolled over to face Janet. She scooted over next to him and he wrapped her tightly in his arms so that their bodies were pressing against each other. "Do you think I'm chopped farts who doesn't deserve a morning kiss?" He mumbled softly.

"You most definitely are not chopped farts." With a soft smile the couple pressed their lips to each other and shared a long, sweet kiss that left them both breathless. "Good morning Eddie." Janet whispered.

"Morning Janet." He began to nuzzle her exposed neck. "Can we just stay like this all day?"

"Hmmm. I wish we could but we have three very excited boys."

"You're right. They won't give us a moment of peace."

"How are you feeling this morning? How is your head?" The night before, Janet made sure that Eddie had gotten plenty of sleep because she didn't want to risk a seizure. She sent him to bed and she stayed up packing for the four of them.

"It hurts but it always hurts. It's no worse than normal." Before Janet could respond they heard fighting coming from the boys' bathroom. Janet sighed and began to pull away from Eddie but he reached out to stop her. "I got this. You just relax." He kissed her once more and then rolled out of bed to deal with the triplets.

The Latekka family began their vacation with breakfast in Boston near the airport. They met both sets of their parents along with Katie, Ikey and Ashton. Since Ikey and Katie married Ikey and Eddie had grown closer. Ikey had proved to be a wonderful husband and father. After an enjoyable and hectic breakfast the gang made their way to the airport. With three boys everything they did was chaotic and boarding an airplane was no different. Janet had dressed the boys in matching outfits which drew a lot of attention. They were stopped numerous times so the boys could be given compliments. Once they were on the plane things didn't go any more smoothly. The boys didn't want to be separated so there was some minor chaos when the boys found out about their seat assignments. Josh sat next to Laura. Jacob sat next to Sharon and Jackson ended up with his Uncle Ikey, which thrilled him. All three boys practically worshiped their Uncle Ikey. Katie sat with Ashton. Tom and Jack were seat mates as were Janet and Eddie. The boys and Ashton got the biggest kick out of flying. The giggled as the plane took off and for most of flight the kids had their faces glued to the window and then more giggle when the plane landed. They loved it.

Once they landed in Florida they rented a couple of cars and went to their hotel. Each family got their own room. Eddie and Janet's room was a simple room with two double beds: one bed for the boys to share and for their parents to share. It was going to be a tight squeeze for five people but they wouldn't be spending a lot of time in the room and the rest of the family all had rooms on the same floor so the boys would have the option to go annoy other members of their family besides their parents.

When booking the hotel, the one thing that it had to have was a pool which they took advantage of. The obviously weren't going to Disneyworld the first day and they needed something to entertain four excited kids and the pool was the perfect thing to keep them entertained. Janet also knew that the boys would wear themselves out and go to sleep early because they would need their sleep for the coming days.

* * *

"Eddie please be careful." Janet called to her husband. He was in the pool throwing the boys around. Janet had been up in their room unpacking and had just joined them out at the pool.

"It's all good babe." With that being said Eddie threw Jackson up in the air and he landed with a big splash.

"Come in mommy." Joshua called.

"In a few minutes bud." Janet sat back down in between her mother and Eddie's mother. "I swear, I was not meant to be a mother to boys. Some of the things that they do scare me to death while they show no fear and they are only five. I'm going to have a heart attack before they hit puberty." Janet told her mother in law.

"You'll get used to it. Growing up, Eddie gave me a few minor heart attacks." Laura informed her.

"Great." Janet mumbled.

"That's why I had a girl. Not nearly as much trouble. Janet you should have had girls." Sharon said.

"Yeah mom because I had total control of choosing the sex of my babies." The three women laughed. "I love those boys, all four of them, more than anything and I wouldn't change one thing about my life." Janet whispered softly as she watched her family in the in the pool but she lied. There was one thing that she would change. If she could, she would take away his brain tumors but sadly, she knew she didn't have the power to make her husband better. The only thing she had was love and all the love in the world wouldn't take away his tumor and pain.

"Mama, come swim with me." Josh had come up to his mother. He had been sitting on the steps watching his brothers. Joshua was their cautious child and he was afraid of the water unless an adult was with him. Not long ago, he and his brothers were swimming and he got pushed under and had gotten really scared which led to crying which ultimately led to an asthma attack and since then he has been iffy about swimming.

"Yeah baby. I'll come with you." Janet stood, removed her cover, took Josh's hand and the two of them walked into the pool together.

"Mommy watch daddy throw me." Jacob called.

"I'm watching Jake." Janet cringed slightly as Jacob was tossed into the water and she didn't relax until he returned to the surface.

"Mom, watch me swim." Jackson demanded. They were in the shallow area and his floaties were off. And Janet watched as her oldest boy dove under the water and swam to her. "Did you see me?" He asked once he surfaced.

"I did. When did you learn to do that?" Janet asked him.

"Umm nine minutes ago."

"Wow. Nine minutes ago. That's impressive Jax."

"Come on. Let's go down the slide." Jacob had doggie paddled over to them followed by Eddie.

"I don't wanna go." Josh told them.

"Come on ya big scaredey cat." Jacob taunted him.

"Jacob Edward. You do not call your brother names." Eddie scolded.

"Josh is a scardey cat." Jackson informed them.

"Jackson, Jacob enough. Just because Josh doesn't want to go down the slide, it doesn't mean that he is a scaredey cat. It just means that Josh doesn't want to go down the slide."

"Because he's …"

"Jackson Elliott." Eddie warned and Jackson quickly closed his mouth. "Good choice. Now as long as you two are nice we will go to the sliding board."

"Yeah." Jacob and Josh cheered as the three of them swam away.

"I think you should give the slide a try." Janet told her youngest.

"I'm scared mama."

"I'll be waiting at the bottom to catch you."

"What if you miss me?"

"I won't. I promise." Josh shook his head. "What about if daddy goes down the slide with you and holds you real tight?" Josh thought about his mother's offer and then than he slowly nodded. The two of them swam over to the slide and met Eddie. "Josh wants to go down the slide." Janet told her husband.

"With you daddy."

"I told Josh that you would go down the slide with him and hold on to him."

"Real tight. You have to hold me real tight daddy."

"That I can do bubba."

Once Joshua made his first trip down the slide with his dad holding him tightly he was hooked and that's where he and his brother spent the rest of the day. The first few dozen times he rode with Eddie or Janet and then he got brave and went down by himself as long as his mom or dad were at the bottom to catch him and eventually he was going down without anyone at the bottom to catch him.

Their first official day of vacation was a success. Everyone had a blast at the pool, especially the kids. The boys loved the loved the time that they spent with their grandparents, cousin, aunt, uncle, their mom and especially their dad. By the end of the day everyone was exhausted and that night when Janet's boys, the little ones and the big one, they were all sound asleep minutes after their heads hit the pillow.

The next three days were spent at Disneyworld and it truly was the most magical place on earth. Everyone was amazed by everything that they saw and experienced. The boys got so excited by the characters that they saw and their favorite movies were coming to life before their eyes. The boys rode every ride they could. They were actually big enough to ride most rides by themselves which made Janet a nervous wreck but seeing the smiles on the boys' faces made her willing to accept the nerves so her boys could have this once in a lifetime experience. The third and final Disneyworld day began with breakfast with the Disney characters and ended the day with the parade down Main Street. Janet and Eddie knew the boys were exhausted but they were wide awake, watching in awe at the magic marching in front of them.

The fourth day was spent at SeaWorld, a place that Janet had always wanted to visit. She was worried that the boys would be bored and whiny but it turned out they, like their mother, loved the sea life. They were fascinated by everything that they saw and their favorite part was the shows where the animals did tricks and talked. Once they left the park the grandparents offered to take the kids for a game of putt-putt golf and dinner so their parents could have a few hours of alone time which was an offer that wasn't turned down. Although Eddie was exhausted and had a horrible headache, he wasn't about to pass up an opportunity to make love to his wife. It was killing him to be so close to Janet and being unable to do anything about it so he and Janet took full advantage of their time alone.

Their final day was spent in the Atlantic Ocean. Eddie and Janet wanted to take the boys to the ocean. That morning, Eddie woke up with one of his bad, really bad headaches and Janet suggested that he just hang out in their hotel room and get some sleep but Eddie refused. He promised himself and Janet that he wasn't going to let his tumor keep him from missing out on his life with Janet and the boys and he wasn't going to let today's headache keep him from witnessing the triplets first experience in the ocean. Their vacation has been perfect up until now and he planned to keep it that way.

The boys thoroughly enjoyed their day at the beach. They laughed and ran away from the waves as they crashed onto the shore. They laughed as they ran into the water and the waves crashed on them, splashing them. They all built sandcastles together, buried each other in the sand and looked for and collected seashells. It really was the perfect day and the perfect ending to a vacation that made lots of wonderful memories that would last a lifetime.

* * *

Janet was indulging in a cat nap on the plane ride home when she felt a sudden movement beside her. As her eyes fluttered opened she was kicked in the shins by her seat mate. "Eddie." She gasped. He was in the midst of a seizure and unfortunately, Janet was expecting this because he had one the night before and that morning as they were packing up the hotel room. She had hoped another one wouldn't occur and he even took some extra medication in hopes of preventing it but apparently, it didn't work. Janet tried desperately to hold him still but her efforts proved to be futile when his head bounced off the window. His violent jerking quickly brought the flight attendants over to their seats.

"Ma'am? Is everything okay?" Eddie's seizure seemed to cease.

"I think so now." Janet answered softly. "Do you have a first aid kit?" She noticed a trail of blood coming down his head.

"I'll be right back."

"Janet." Eddie groaned.

"I'm right here baby."

"My head…"

"You banged it on the window."

"Seizure?"

"Yeah."

"Dammit." The flight attendant returned with a first aid kit and as Janet was cleaning up the wound Eddie began to seize again.

"Ma'am. Do you need a doctor?"

"Uh…no. It should stop." Janet hoped she was right but she was wrong. This seizure was not stopping.

"I'm going to see if there is a doctor." The attendant said after Eddie's head banged against the window again and Janet just nodded as tears slid down her cheeks. From a distance she heard her boys crying and as much as she wanted to go to them, she couldn't.

"Come on Eddie, hang in there." Janet whispered softly.

"Excuse me ma'am. I'm Dr. Weber. Has your husband had seizures before?" Janet nodded miserably, not taking her eyes off of Eddie while trying to hold him. The doctor turned to the flight attendant. "Do you have emergency medication on board?" She nodded. "Bring it to me." Dr. Webber turned his attention back to Janet and Eddie. "I'm going to give him an injection to stop the seizures temporarily." The flight attendant returned with the captain. They handed Dr. Weber the box with the medication in it. He quickly found what he needed, ushered Janet out of the way, took her seat and gave a seizing Eddie a shot and within seconds, Eddie's body went still.

"Thank you so much." Janet whispered tearfully. "What did you give him?"

"A central nervous system depressant. He'll be asleep for a while."

"I've notified the authorities and when we land there will be an ambulance waiting to take him to a hospital."

"That's not necessary." Janet told the pilot.

"It's policy. Whenever there is a medical emergency during a flight the passenger must be transported to the local hospital for evaluation." The pilot explained and Janet nodded. "When we land everyone will remain in their seats until the passenger is removed by paramedics." The pilot looked at the doctor. "If you need anything else please, let me know."

"Does your husband have a seizure disorder?" Dr. Webber asked.

"He has an inoperable, benign brain tumor."

"I see and he has seizures?"

"He did but he's on some medication that has stabilized them and he only gets them if he is really tired; fatigue seems to trigger them and we are returning from a vacation in Florida." Dr. Webber nodded.

"I'm going to grab one of these empty seats so I'll be nearby in case your husband needs anything."

"Thank you again for helping him." Dr. Webber nodded and grabbed a seat nearby.

Laura came and sat with her son while Janet moved about the plane comforting her scared children until the plane landed. Knowing that she was going to the hospital with Eddie, Janet made arrangements for the triplets to stay with their grandparents until she and Eddie could come home. The boys weren't happy about it and it took a lot for Janet to convince them that their daddy had to go to the hospital to get better and finally, they reluctantly agreed to go with their grandparents. Once they were safely on the ground the paramedics came on the plane and loaded a semi-comatose Eddie onto a stretcher then off the plane and off to Boston Memorial Hospital with Janet by his side.

* * *

"When can we get the hell out of here?" Eddie grumbled four hours later.

"Soon, I hope." Eddie hadn't had another seizure since his last one on the plane and even though Janet told the doctors about Eddie's medical condition, they still insisted on doing all kinds of tests.

"I was tired. That's why I had those seizures."

"You had two within a minute of each other." Janet informed him and the two of them sat silently until the curtain to Eddie's cubicle was pulled back and Dr. Weber walked in. "Dr. Weber." Janet said in surprise. "Eddie, this is the doctor who helped you on the plane."

"Hi Mr. Latekka. How do you feel?"

"Tired. My head hurts. Thanks for your help."

"I'm a neurosurgeon here on staff and I had been involved in your case since you arrived and I think that I can help you."

"Really?" Eddie asked.

"There is an experimental surgery that I have been performing…"Eddie wouldn't let the doctor finish.

"Yes." He told the doctor.

"Eddie you haven't even heard what the surgery entails." Janet said.

"I don't care. If there is a chance that it will help then I want it done. Yes Dr. Weber. You can experiment on my brain."

**_Thank you for reading. _**


	33. Chapter 33

"Yes Dr. Weber. You can experiment on my brain."

"Eddie, please. You just can't agree to something as serious as an experimental surgery." Janet gasped. The thought of someone experimenting on his brain, terrified her.

"I would have to agree with your wife. Before you agree to anything, you should hear everything about the surgery that you are blindly giving me permission to perform. "

"Okay. I'm listening."

Dr. Weber nodded and then began telling Eddie what he wants to do to his brain. He wants to put some medication into his brain to basically freeze the tumors and then once frozen remove them stem and all which is the tricky part. It was dangerous to remove anything in the brain tissue because if he touched anything that wasn't tumor then the results would be catastrophic.

"How many of these experimental surgeries have you preformed?" Janet asked.

"Five."

"How many do you have to do before it's considered non-experimental?"

"It doesn't matter how many I do. It's the success rate that matters."

"What is your success rate Dr. Weber?"

"Janet!" Eddie hissed. "I apologize for my wife doctor." Eddie said and Janet just glared at him.

"There is no need to apologize. That is not an offensive question. If my spouse was thinking about this kind of surgery, I would want to know the success rate as well."

"Thank you."

"I have done four surgeries and two of them have been successful. The patients are living normal, tumor-free lives."

"That's a fifty percent success rate." Eddie informed the room.

"What about the other two?" That's what she really wanted to know.

"One patient has died and one patient is in a coma."

"But one of them is still alive so technically you are sitting at seventy five percent."

"There are lots of risks involved Eddie." Dr. Weber began. "You could end up paralyzed, you could lose some of your brain function such as the ability to speak, your memory may be impaired, you may have trouble completing normal everyday tasks, you may have tremors and that all depends on if any of your brain becomes damaged. You could end up in a coma or you may die. You need to understand these risks."

"I understand the risks and I want the surgery." Eddie told the doctor. Dr. Weber saw in Janet's face that she didn't agree with her husband's decision so he decided to give them some time alone.

"I'm going to leave information with you about the surgery so you two can really talk about it. When you have made your decision have the nurse page me."

"I have made my decision."

"I understand that but I think that you really need to talk to your wife about it. You're going to need her support." Dr. Weber handed each of them information on the surgery and then excused himself.

Janet and Eddie spent the next thirty minutes going over all of the information that they were giving. Each had their own opinion on why or why not to have the surgery done. Now, they just had to figure out a way to come together on this decision.

"Janet, I am getting the surgery." Eddie finally said, tossing his information packet onto the bed.

"No matter what I say or want."

"It's my body Janet not yours. I am a grown man who doesn't need your permission to have the surgery

"Did you read the risks Eddie?"

"The benefits outweigh the risks."

"Oh really? Are you kidding me? Eddie you could die. Do you understand that?" Tears were falling from Janet's eyes. "Are you willing to risk dying and leaving me and the boys alone? I need you. Jacob, Jackson and Josh need you."

"I can't do this anymore Janet." He was looking at his lap and Janet could barely hear him.

"Do what?" She whispered.

"I can't live like this anymore."

"Eddie…please…don't talk like that." She begged tearfully and when he finally looked up, he had tears of his own falling.

"I'm sorry but I can't. Janet…I am in so much pain all the time."

"Eddie…"

"I try to hide it from you and the boys as much as I can, but it's too much. There isn't a day, an hour, a minute that goes by that I don't hurt and it's not just an annoying pain. My head hurts so damn bad that it feels like it's going to explode. The pain is so bad that every time I move, I want to puke and I can't keep pretending that it doesn't."

"You don't have to pretend with us Eddie. "

"Yes I do." He practically shouted and then flinched from the pain the shouting caused. "If I don't pretend then I would never get out of bed. Do you know how hard it was for me to spend time with you guys at Disneyworld and the beach? I couldn't ride with the boys on any of the rides because it would have hurt too bad. I couldn't even enjoy the joy on their faces because the sun hurt my eyes. I want to cringe any time you or the boys touch my head I want to cry."

"I knew you hurt but I never realized that it was this bad."

"We rarely make love anymore because whenever I am in bed all I want to do is sleep. When we were in Florida and we made love you did most of the work. I couldn't because I was in so much pain."

"I…I don't mind." By this point they were both sobbing softly. Janet never realized how much pain he was in constantly. She knew he hurt but she didn't know how much. He did a hell of a job hiding it.

"I do Janet. I do." His sobbing increased so Janet climbed onto his little bed and cradled his head to her chest.

"I'm so sorry babe. I am so sorry that this has happened to you." Janet held him until his tears subsided.

"I can't live like this anymore. I can't be the father or husband I want to be with pain like this." He finally whispered.

"Eddie I may be selfish but I don't want you to die and you could die during this surgery."

"I'm not living anymore Janet. There is only a small part of the man left that I was. I hurt all the damn time. I never get any peace and this surgery can give me the peace that I need. If it's successful then my head won't hurt anymore and if it doesn't work and I die then I won't be in pain anymore and sweetheart, that's all I want. I don't want to hurt anymore." Janet could hear the desperation in his voice. "I'm having this surgery Janet, with or without your support but I really want it."

"You have my support Eddie." It killed her to say that, knowing that he could die but she agreed for two reasons. The first was that she knew that determined tone of voice and she knew that he was going to have this surgery and in her mind she thought that he would fight to live if she was in his corner. The second reason was simple. She didn't want to see him in pain anymore. She knew he hurt and it broke her heart to see how miserable he was. She wanted her Eddie, her healthy, loving life Eddie back. She couldn't stomach the thought of losing him but if there was a chance that he could be healed, then she had to support him.

"Thank you." Eddie whispered softly.

* * *

"Daddy!" The Latekka triplets shouted running into their father's hospital room.

"Hush boys. I told you that you had to be quiet." Janet scolded her three young boys.

"Hey guys." Eddie slowly opened his eyes. "Come on up here."

"Please be gentle." Janet begged.

"We will mommy." Jackson informed her.

It has been one week since Eddie had agreed to have the experimental surgery on his brain. During the week Dr. Weber had been running lots of tests on him so he would know what to expect when he opened Eddie's head up but as he told them, there was still a lot he didn't and would know until he was in there since the tests could only show so much.

It was a good thing that Eddie was in the hospital because the medication he got on the plane wore off and he began seizing again; over and over. It took a lot but Dr. Weber finally got them under some moderate control. The fact that Eddie was still having a lot seizures helped solidify their decision to go ahead with the surgery. Eddie couldn't live like this.

Janet spent the week home, driving the forty five minutes each way to the hospital daily to see him. She had wanted to stay but they decided that she needed to be home, with the boys and now that he was going to be out of commission for who knows how long, she needed to work. They couldn't afford not to have any money coming in. It had been very hard on all of them, especially the boys having Eddie in the hospital. Even though their daddy hadn't been a very good father to them lately because he was in bed most of the time if he wasn't struggling through work, at least according to Eddie, the triplets missed him. Since Eddie's surgery was the next day and since neither Eddie nor Janet couldn't guarantee the outcome they decided to bring the boys to see him and explain what was going on.

"Daddy when are you coming home?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know. Hopefully soon."

"Why can't you come home?"

"I can't come home until the doctor fixes my head Josh."

"When they fix it will you play football with us?"

"Absolutely. That is the first thing that I will do." The three identical grins that crossed the triplets' faces was priceless.

"Hey guys, I need you to listen to me okay?" Jax, Josh and Jake nodded solemnly. Even they sensed the seriousness of this conversation. "I don't know how long I am going to be stuck in this place so until I come home, you all need to listen to everything your mom tells you. She is going to need your help since I'm not home so I am counting on you guys to help mommy out okay."

"Yes daddy." Tears filled Janet's eyes.

"Now there may be sometimes that mommy will get lonely because I am not home so you guys have to love her extra hard; love her for me since I won't be home to love her." There was no use in trying to continue not to cry. Unbeknown to the boys Eddie was instructing them to take of her if doesn't make it home.

"Why are you crying mommy?" Josh asked.

"I'm sad because I just miss daddy."

"I miss him too."

"I know you do sweetheart. We all do."

"There is one more important thing that I need to tell you guys. I love you guys more than anything. Your mom and I wanted you guys so bad and when you were born, we were so happy. Being your dad has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you boys so much and no matter what happens, I will always love you. Do you understand me?" His voice had taken on a very serious tone.

"Eddie you are scaring the boys."

"They need to understand Janet. They need to know that I am always going to love them, no matter what." He was becoming agitated. Janet walked over placed a soothing hand on his arm.

"They know Eddie. They know." Janet understood that Eddie needed the boys to know how much he loved them if he didn't make it home again. "You know daddy loves you don't you?"

"We know daddy." Jackson, the oldest spoke for the three of them.

"Why don't you guys give daddy a hug?" Janet suggested since she could see Eddie trying not to cry and scare the boys and knowing that if he tried to speak them dam would break. The boys quickly complied with her request and when that happened a few tears slipped from Eddie's eyes.

* * *

"Now you guys listen to Aunt Katie and Uncle Ikey and be good." Janet instructed her children.

"I don't wanna go. I wanna stay with daddy." Jacob whined.

"Me too." Jax and Josh added.

"Daddy wishes you could stay too but you can't but you are going to have lots of fun with Aunt Katie and Uncle Ikey."

"No." They all said at the same time.

"Please guys. I need you to go home with Katie and Ikey." Janet decided to play the "dad" card. " Daddy wants you to go with Katie and Ikey. Can you do it for daddy?"

"Ok." They sniffed and Janet pulled the three of them into her arms, kissing each of them. "I love you guys and I will see you tomorrow." She promised as she stood. "Be good."

"You'll…"Katie whispered.

"I'll call as soon as I know something." Janet promised.

"Okay guys lets go." Joshua and Jacob each grabbed one of Ashton's hands, said goodbye to their mother and slowly walked to the elevator.

Once the elevator doors shut Janet rushed to the bathroom so no one see the tears that were falling. She locked herself in a stall and softly sobbed. Her heart was breaking for her children. She was terrified that today was the last time that they would see their father alive. She was grateful that they were only five years old and didn't understand how serious the situation was but at the same time she wished that the boys were older so they could understand what could possibly happen to Eddie and they could make the most of today.

"Janet sweetheart, is that you?" Janet blew her nose and stepped out of the stall and came face to face with Laura, Eddie's mom.

"Is Eddie okay?"

"His headache is getting worse."

"I should go." Laura reached out to stop her.

"Jack and a nurse are with him. She is giving him a shot."

"But I should…"

"You should stay here and let me hug you."

"I..I…" Laura didn't give her a choice. She pulled Janet into her arms. At first Janet resisted but after a minute she finally relaxed into her mother in law's embrace and the tears soon followed. Laura simply held Janet and let her cry. "I'm…I'm…so…scared."

"I know. I am too." Janet pulled away and looked at Laura, fear evident all over her face.

"What if he doesn't make it out of surgery? What if the boys lose their father tomorrow? What if I lose my husband? I can't…I…"

"Sweetheart, you can't think about what if?"

"How can I not? There is a big possibility that Eddie will die in surgery tomorrow. I don't want to lose him. I can't lose him."

"Eddie is the strongest man I know. He is not going down without a fight. He has so much to live for. He wants to see the boys grow into men and have families of their own. He wants to grow old with you. He will come out of this surgery and its love for you, Jacob, Jackson and Joshua that will get him through surgery."

"I want to believe that. I really do but I know that sometimes love just isn't enough." Janet said miserably.

"It will be this time."

"I hope so." Janet wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and went to the sink to wash her face so hopefully when she returned to Eddie's room he wouldn't know she had been crying.

When she returned to Eddie's room Jack was just exiting. He informed her that he was sleeping due to the shot of pain medicine that he just got. Laura and Jack promised to return in the morning, hugged and kissed Janet goodnight and left her alone. Once they were gone Janet entered the dark hospital room and returned to the chair next to his bed that she had been occupying all week. She looked at h is face and it was peaceful and pain free. The only time lately he looked peaceful and pain free was when he was shot full of drugs. She kissed his unresponsive lips and laid her head on his abdomen.

It had been a mentally exhausting day. She took the day off from running the office of Best Friend Windows so she could spend the entire day with Eddie. If it was the last day that they would ever spend together she wanted to spend as much time with the man she loved as she could. She only left for two hours so she could pick up and bring the boys down. In the early evening hours their friends and family started coming to the hospital to see their friend, brother, and son. At that point Janet took the boys for a long dinner in the cafeteria. She didn't want the boys to see how upset everyone was and Janet couldn't stand to be in the room while everyone said goodbye without actually saying goodbye. It was just too hard for her. She drifted off to sleep, holding his hand.

* * *

"Janet?" Eddie whispered in the dark, placing his hand on her head. When he woke up, he felt her sleeping on his stomach.

"Are you okay?" She asked sleepily,

"Hurts." Janet reached over and pressed the call button.

"We'll get you some medicine sweetheart." Janet reached up and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Oww." Janet instantly removed her hand and tears filled his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Not your fault."

"Is everything okay?" The nurse asked.

"He needs more pain medication."

"I'll be right back."

"Janet I want it to stop hurting."

"It will. As soon as you get your medicine it will stop hurting." Janet kissed his cheek and he began to cry from the pain. "Shhh. Honey." Janet whispered soothingly like she does when the boys are hurt or scared until the nurse returned and injected medication into his IV. "Now you should start feeling better." Hoping to calm him down she began sing softly until his breathing evened out. "I hope this surgery works." She whispered to his sleeping form. "I can't stand to see you in so much pain anymore."

* * *

"Do you have any questions Eddie?" Dr. Weber asked the next morning at twenty after six. Eddie simply shook his head. Dr. Weber saw the terror on his patients face and he placed a reassuring hand on his arm. "They'll be in to take you down shortly. I'll see you in the OR."

"I'm scared Janet." Eddie whispered once the door to his room closed. "I'm so scared."

"You'll be fine. Everything will be fine." Janet responded with more confidence than felt. She leaned over and kissed him softly.

"I love you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You have made me so happy Janet, so very happy."

"You've made me just as happy and we have many more happy years ahead of us."

"If I don't make it, I want you to fall in love again. I want…"

"Shut up Eddie." She refused to listen to him talk like that.

"I made videos for you and the boys. They are…"

"I know where they are and we will not need them. Now stop talking like this."

"But you need to know…"

"I already know and you will come out of this surgery fine and I won't need a damn video of you telling me how you feel. Do you understand me?" He nodded.

"Time to go ." An orderly announced walking in Eddie's room.

"One more minute." Janet told him without ever turning away from her husband. "Listen to me Eddie. You are so loved. I love and adore you and so do our three children. Can you feel that love sweetheart?" Eddie nodded. "Hold on to that feeling during your surgery. Remember that and come back to us tumor free. Do you understand me Eddie Latekka?"

"I hold on with all my strength."

"Promise me." Eddie had never broken a promise that he had made to her and there was a small part of her that was convinced that if promised her that he would fight than he would come back from surgery, alive and well.

"I promise Janet." She leaned over and kissed him, her tears mixing with his.

"I love you my sweet man and I will see you in a few hours."

"I love you too."

"And?"

"And I'll see you soon." Janet turned to the orderly. "You can take him now. He's ready."

Eddie's surgery was scheduled to take anywhere from eight to ten hours which Janet spent in the surgical waiting room. She refused to leave in case something happened and Dr. Weber needed something from her to save his life.

Janet spent ten hours and thirty eight long minutes in the surgical waiting room. When she knew her boys were awake she called to tell them good morning and tell them that she loved them. She drank probably a gallon of really bad coffee. She paced the waiting room. She sat and stared at the television that was on, not seeing a thing. She participated in small talk with Jack and Laura. She flipped aimlessly through magazines. She took a few fifteen to twenty minute cat naps, waking up every time the door to the waiting room opened but mostly, she thought of Eddie.

For what fell like the hundredth time that day the door to the waiting room opened and Janet looked over and this time, Dr. Weber was the doctor who walked through. Janet immediately jumped up and went over to meet him along with Jack and Laura.

"He made it through surgery." Dr. Weber told them and Janet breathed a sigh of relief. "But there was a complication."

"What kind of complication?" Janet's heart was beating furiously.

"During the procedure he had a stroke."

"He is thirty eight years old. How in the hell could he have a stroke?" Laura asked.

"Eddie had a lot going on in his brain. During the surgery, he had multiple seizures which resulted in a stroke."

"Is he okay?" Janet whispered.

"He has been out of surgery for an hour and a half and has not woken up. The anesthesia is officially out of his system so he should have woken up by now. I'm sorry Janet but he is in a coma." Janet could hear Laura crying quietly behind her but Janet stayed strong and tried to think positive.

"How long? How long will he be in the coma?" She asked.

"I wish I had a definite answer for you. It would make everything so much easier if I could answer that question but I can't. Comas are unpredictable. He could wake tomorrow, next week, next month, next…"

"I get it." Janet interrupted. "No one knows when Eddie will wake up but he will. I promise you that he will wake up."


	34. Chapter 34

"The tumor. Were you able to get the tumor?" Janet asked Dr. Weber.

"Every piece of them."

"Them?" Laura asked.

"Your son had multiple tumors that morphed into one giant tumor but I got it all and there aren't any bits or pieces left in his brain."

"So when he wakes up he will be pain free?" Jack asked.

"That is correct."

"Will the tumors return?" Janet inquired. She had been through this before. The tumors are removed but they return worse than they were before.

"I can't guarantee that they won't but Eddie is going to get a medication everyday to inhibit tumor growth. My other patients that have had this surgery and medication, it's been five years and no tumors have returned." Janet nodded. It wasn't the answer that she really wanted. The answer that she wanted was a guarantee that his tumors would not come back but since she couldn't get the answer she wanted this one would have to do.

"When can we see him?"

"He is ready for visitors any time. I would recommend talking to him. Studies show that comatose patients can hear you."

"Thank you Dr. Weber." Laura and Jack returned to Eddie's room while Janet went outside to make phone calls to update everyone on Eddie's condition and she just needed a few minutes alone to digest everything Dr. Weber told her.

She was thankful that Eddie wasn't dead. As confident as she acted around Eddie prior to the surgery she was actually terrified that he wasn't going to make it through but he did and that is a good thing. Sure, he is in a coma but he wasn't dead and that what was something she could work with because she knew without a doubt that he would wake up. He would wake up for their boys and for her. He would fight his way out of the darkness because he loved and promised he would and Eddie Latekka had never broken a promise to her.

Jack and Laura left soon after Janet returned to Eddie's room. Once she was alone with her husband she gently ran her hand over his peaceful face. She leaned over and kissed him softly, hoping for a reaction. In her mind she was thinking of Snow White. She had hoped that when she kissed him her kiss would bring him back like the Prince's kiss brought Sleeping Beauty back but Eddie remained motionless beneath her. Sighing, Janet pulled a chair next to his bed and grabbed his hand.

"Eddie, I know that these past few months have been hard on you. I realize that that you need time to recuperate so I'm not going to fight you on this coma. Take the time that you need to rest and get better so you can return to our family tumor free and healthy. That's what is important. Just make it quick okay?" Janet laughed. "I told you in one breath to take the time you need and in the second breath I told you to make it quick. Just get better as soon as you can. Don't take any time that you don't need." Janet lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed it softly. "As much as I want to stay next to your bed every minute that you are in this coma, I can't. The boys need me to be home with them and I need to work since apparently you are taking an unscheduled vacation. I promise that the boys and I will be here every day to see you and when you wake up, if I am not here I will be as soon as I can."

"Eddie, you promised me that you would come back to me and the boys and I am holding you to that promise. You have never broken a promise to me before so don't you dare start now. Jackson, Jacob and Josh love you so very much Eddie as do I. Focus on that love and come back to us." Janet leaned over and kissed him again, her tears landing on his cheeks. "I love you and I will see you tomorrow." She truly did not want to leave him, alone but the way she saw it she didn't have a choice. What good would she do here? She had three boys at home that needed their mother and right now that trumped sitting next to Eddie's bed, waiting for who knows how long for him to wake up.

* * *

"Mommy." Three boys yelled as they ran to her.

"Hey guys." Janet hugged and kissed each of her precious angels.

"Where is daddy?" Josh asked.

"Is he in the car?" That came from Jackson.

"Did the doctor fix daddy's head?" Jacob asked the last question. On her drive home, Janet thought long and hard about how to explain Eddie's situation to her three five year old boys.

"The doctor did fix daddy's head but he is still in the hospital."

"Why?" Came the soft little voice of Joshua.

"Well daddy is sleeping right now."

"Will he come home in the morning when he wakes up?"

"No Jax. Daddy won't be home in the morning. Listen guys come and sit down with me in the living room." The boys followed their mother into the living room. Jacob and Jackson sat on either side of their mother while Josh crawled onto her lap. "Daddy is having a hard time waking up so he is going to be sleeping for awhile. I don't know for how long he will be sleeping. He could wake up tomorrow or on your next birthday."

"Why?" Jacob wondered.

"I don't know sweetheart."

"Is he going to sleep forever?" Jax asked his mother.

"No honey. He won't. Daddy promised me that he was going to wake up and daddy always keeps his promises doesn't he?" The three boys nodded.

"Okay, let's get you ready for your bath. Go on up stairs and I'll be there in a few minutes." The three boys ran upstairs and Janet smiled softly after them.

After thanking Katie and Ikey for watching the boys for the day Janet put on her happiest face and followed the boys upstairs to bathe them. Bathing three boys is never an easy or quick task but it always went faster when Eddie was there helping her but Eddie wasn't there to help her and she had no idea when he would return and as she fought with the boys to quit splashing she couldn't help but think this was going to be her life for an unknown period of time.

Once the boys were cleaned and in fresh pajamas Janet splurged and gave the boys some ice cream as a bedtime snack. Normally she gave them yogurt or cheese and crackers but tonight she felt that they deserved some comfort food and it just so happened that ice cream was their father's favorite food. After they finished their ice cream Janet got them into bed and read them Jackson's story choice.

"Good night my little princes. Mommy and daddy love you very much." Janet told them after she tucked them in and kissed them goodnight.

"I wanna sleep with you mama." Josh spoke up from his bed.

"Me too." Jackson and Jacob piped up. Of course, what one does the others will follow.

"You guys have your bed and I have my bed."

"But you will be lonely without daddy." Jacob informed her.

"You won't be lonely with us." Jackson added.

"Please mommy. Pretty please." All three boys were sitting up in their beds, looking at her with big puppy dog eyes and she couldn't say no.

"Come on." The boys jumped from their beds and scrambled across the hall into their parents' bed with their mother following behind them. "All right guys. I need to get a shower. While I'm in the shower I need you to lay in here and go to sleep. No talking. No wrestling and keep your hands to yourselves. If I come out of the shower and you guys aren't following the rules then you will go back to your own bed. Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am." Janet watched as the boys made themselves comfortable. Jax and Jake on Eddie's side of the bed and Josh took the spot in the middle. "Night mommy." The three of them told her.

"Goodnight boys." Janet grabbed some pajamas and went to shower in the bathroom connected to her bedroom.

Standing under the hot water Janet's resolve finally broke. She had been holding her emotions together for the sake of her children but now that she was alone in the shower she was overwhelmed with her thoughts and fear about Eddie and she was overwhelmed with the sudden change in her parenting status. She was now a single parent of three boys and that absolutely terrified her. Jacob, Joshua and Jackson needed their father. They needed him in a way that she could never fulfill and her heart broke over the fact that their father wouldn't be there for them or for her. She slid to the floor of the shower, pulled her knees up to her chest, her hand over her mouth and sobbed. She cried for Eddie, herself and her children.

When she was done with her shower she dressed and then called the hospital from the bathroom to check on Eddie only to learn there had been no change in his condition. Wiping away the few stray tears Janet climbed into bed next to Josh. In his sleep Joshua rolled over and took his mother's hand in his small one and Janet smiled. With her boys by her side she knew they would be fine until Eddie returned to them.

* * *

Although she knew it was a long shot Janet hoped that Eddie would wake from his coma the following day but he didn't nor did he wake the following day or even the day after that and eventually the days that Eddie was not with his family turned into weeks and as it must, life moved on.

Janet came up with a monotonous daily schedule that allowed Janet to work and spend time with the boys and Eddie. During the week every morning Janet got her and the boys up and ready and then she took them to work with her at Best Friend Windows. Thankfully, Nick let Janet bring the boys with her to work because he knew that Eddie would do the same for him. Janet made sure to bring toys, books and movies to keep the boys occupies in the back room while she worked. After work Janet took the boys home, fed them dinner and then they four of them drove to Boston to spend an hour with Eddie.

At first the boys were a little freaked out at seeing their father lying motionless on the bed but Janet assured them that he wasn't in any pain and he could hear them when they talked to him so every night they climbed up on the bed with him and told him about their day which usually only lasted about fifteen minutes before they got bored at which point Janet would turn cartoons on for them while she would talk to Eddie and exercise his legs.

Well that plan worked for about a week and a half before the boys got bored playing in the back room of their father's office and then it became a battle to get them up and to the office in the mornings and once they were there they complained and Janet knew she had to come up with a different plan and that's when Sharon, her mother showed up.

When Sharon learned that Eddie was in a coma she made a decision that she had been considering for quite some time. Sharon and Michael had been talking about moving to the Ridge. Sharon wanted to be closer to Janet and the boys. When Janet called and told her that Eddie was in a coma Michael and Sharon's decision was made instantly. Her daughter needed her. She practically abandoned her after she graduated from high school and she wasn't going to do it again. Janet and her grandson's needed her. She put notice in at her job used all of her vacation days and showed up at Janet's house two weeks after Eddie went into his coma while Michael stayed behind to sell their home. When Janet opened her front door and saw her mother standing there, she fell into her mother's arms and cried.

Once Sharon arrived she came over every morning to stay with the boys while Janet went to work. Like she did prior to Sharon coming Janet took the boys to the hospital after dinner to see Eddie. She was not going to give that up. She needed the visits and so did her sons.

* * *

"Oh God." Janet groaned over the toilet.

"Mommy what's wrong?" Jackson asked, walking into the bathroom.

"I'm sorry baby. Did I wake you up?" It has been a month since Eddie fell into his coma and the triplets had spent every night in bed with their mother. Janet knew that she should send them back to their own bed but if she was honest with herself, she liked having them close to her. She liked not being alone at night because it was at night, when the boys were sleeping and she had yet to fall asleep that was when she would think about what her life had become without Eddie and how bad she wanted him back.

"Yeah. Are you sick again?" The past few days Janet woke up nauseated and stayed nauseated all day but she didn't throw up, although she thought she was going to. Again this morning she woke up nauseated but this time she threw up.

"A little. I will be fine. Are your brothers awake yet?"

"Not yet." Before Janet could respond she was throwing up again.

"Mommy?"

"I'm fine honey. Just a little tummy ache. Why don't you go downstairs and watch some television and I'll be down soon."

"Okay."

"Love you buddy."

"Love you too mommy."

"Shut the door behind you." She didn't want t wake the other two boys.

Twenty minutes later, Janet finally stopped throwing up and managed to make her way downstairs where she found all three boys wide awake waiting for their breakfast. "Good morning mommy." Joshua yelled as soon as he saw her.

"Morning honey. Are you guys hungry?"

"Yes."

"Come on to the table and I'll get you some cereal." Jackson ran up and grabbed her hand.

"Do you feel better mommy?" He whispered loudly.

"Yeah baby. I do." And she did. She was still slightly nauseated but she didn't have the urge to throw up.

The boys took their seats at the table and Janet quickly got them their cereal. Just as she finished pouring the last glass of juice her mother's voice rang through the house. "In the kitchen." Janet called.

"Good morning." Sharon said to her daughter and grandsons as she kissed the boys' heads.

"You're early." Janet commented

"No. You are just running late." Janet finally looked at the clock in the kitchen and saw that her mother was right.

"Oh crap." She gasped.

"Awww. Mommy said a bad word." Jacob informed everyone and the boys laughed.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" Sharon asked.

"Mommy is sick." Jackson ratted her out.

"Jackson…"Janet warned but he missed the warning.

"She was throwing up."

"Sweetheart?"

"I'm fine mom. I must have eaten something that didn't agree with me. I need to go get ready for work." Janet pushed passed her mom to go upstairs but Sharon followed her.

"Janet honey, maybe you should take the day off and get some rest." Sharon suggested. "You look so tired."

"Of course I'm tired. I am raising three kids on my own." Janet snapped and then she sighed. "I'm sorry mom. I just can't afford to take any time off of work. I just ate some bad food. I am fine."

"Maybe it's not bad food." Janet gave her mother a confused look.

"Okay then. It's the stomach flu."

"I don't think it's the stomach flu."

"What are you saying?"

"Maybe you are pregnant." Janet snorted. "You have been sick to your stomach every morning which makes me think morning sickness and you're tired, a common occurrence in the first trimester.

"I can't get pregnant. Remember? The only reason that I have the boys is because they were made in a Petri dish."

"Janet you have ovaries, fallopian tubes and a uterus. You still ovulate once a month so technically you can get pregnant."

"I am not pregnant." Janet stated empathically. "Now, if you don't mind, I need to get ready for work." Janet turned and went upstairs.

As she got ready for work her mother's words wouldn't leave her be. Could she be pregnant? She and Eddie have been making love for over five years without any protection and she has never once thought that she was pregnant. Every month for sixty four months she got a period; every month except for this month. She hadn't had a period since before their trip to Disney World and she didn't realize it until just now. Could she be pregnant? Janet stripped and stood in front of the mirror so she could examine her body. Her breasts did look a little bit bigger and when she thought about it, her bras seemed to be a little tight.

She placed her hand on her belly but of course she couldn't feel anything. Could she be pregnant? Shaking her head, she put on her work clothes. She did not want to be pregnant. She was too old to be pregnant again. After her previous pregnancy from hell, she had absolutely no desire to go through another pregnancy. She did not want to have another baby without Eddie. She shook her head again. "No. I am not pregnant." She said out loud to her empty bedroom.

* * *

"Congratulations Janet. You are pregnant." Dr. Howard, her OB/GYN told her the next day.

"How?" Janet whispered in shock.

The day before after her mother's suggestion Janet stopped and bought a twin pack of pregnancy tests and took both of them in the bathroom at Best Friend Windows and they both came up positive. Those four pink lines left no room for doubt but she still doubted it. She called and made an appointment with her OB/GYN to confirm.

"Amazing things can happen when you least expect them." Janet rolled her eyes. She wasn't in the mood.

"Eddie and I tried for over a year to get pregnant and then I only got pregnant with IVF and we haven't used protection in years. Everyone told me that my endometriosis was too bad to ever get pregnant so how in the hell did I end up pregnant?"

"It's a simple answer. A sperm managed to make its way through your endometriosis to meet with your egg. You aren't the first woman to become pregnant with endometriosis and you won't be the last." Tears began to fall from Janet's eyes. "Janet is this pregnancy not a good thing?"

"No it's not. My husband had a stroke and is in a coma."

"Janet, I didn't know. Are you going to terminate the pregnancy?"

"No." She cried. "I can't do that. Eddie would kill me when he wakes up. It's a part of Eddie and I could never terminate it."

"I'm glad to hear that. Now because of your age and previous pregnancy complications I am considering this pregnancy to be high risk. You need to start on prenatal vitamins and I want you in here every two weeks so I can monitor you."

The remainder of the appointment was spent with Dr. Howard telling her everything she already knew about pregnancy. Gave her the lists of dos and don'ts and he determined her due date. The only thing she could think of was the fact that she was pregnant and Eddie wasn't with her.

After she finished with her appointment she drove directly to the hospital to see Eddie. After two weeks of driving to Boston every day Janet made a request of Dr. Weber. She asked/begged him to transfer Eddie home to The Ridge. It was too much driving back and forth every day. Since The Ridge Hospital had everything that Eddie needed, nurses, MRI machines, Dr. Weber agreed. He had another neurosurgeon monitor Eddie and he came to town once a week to cheek on his patient.

"Good afternoon Janet. You're early." Maggie, one of Eddie's regular nurses said as Janet passed by the nurses' station. "Where are those handsome boys of yours?" The triplets were always a huge hit on the sixth floor of the hospital.

"They are at home with my mom. I needed some alone time with my husband." Janet smiled and continued walking to the end of the hall. The door to his room was opened so Janet walked right in and shut the door behind her.

"All right Eddie. Enough is enough. Wake up. We have to talk." Janet demanded sitting next to him. "Dammit Eddie, I am not joking wake up." She wished, she prayed that her harsh tone would rouse him from his slumber but it didn't. "Eddie, please baby. Wake up. I need you now, more than ever."Janet took his hand.

"I hope Dr. Weber is right. I hope you can hear me because you need to hear this. I'm pregnant Eddie." She watched him closely but there was no response and she found that infuriated her. "Did you hear me Eddie? I am pregnant so wake your ass up and so this baby can know who you are." Again when she got no response, she pushed her chair back and walked to the window and stared out at the town below her as she fought back her tears and thought about the day this baby was conceived. It was six weeks ago during their trip to Disney World.

"_Finally. Alone at last." Eddie mumbled as they entered their hotel room. Thanks to their parents they had a few hours of uninterrupted time. "I love our boys and I have loved this vacation but they have been underfoot for days. I can't even pee without one of the boys following me into the bathroom. I need, we need some time alone." Eddie crawled into bed and closed his eyes. "Yeah. This is nice." He patted the spot next to him. "Come on over here and join me." _

"_Do you want a pill baby?" _

"_No sweetheart. I don't want a pill. I want you on this bed with me, preferably naked." _

"_You have a headache. Maybe you should take this kid-free opportunity to take a pill and a nap and maybe your head will feel better." Eddie sat up and removed his shirt. _

"_Nah. I would rather take this kid free opportunity to make love to my wife. It's been too long." _

"_But your head…" _

"_What about it?" Eddie was wiggling out of his pants and boxers. _

"_You have a headache. A bad one. You need your rest." _

"_Making love to you will help my headache. So what do you say? How about helping my head feel better?" The smile he gave her was so tender and full of love that she could not resist. She stripped out of her clothes and joined Eddie on the bed, straddling his hips. _

"_Are you sure about this?" He reached up and cupped her breasts, drawing a small moan from her. _

"_Oh yeah. I am sure." _

_With a sigh, Janet sank down on Eddie's erection and he groaned. She pumped herself over his shaft alternating with rotating her hips, putting Eddie in heaven. Since Eddie's head was hurting he wasn't really doing too much work. He was leaving that to Janet and she didn't mind because that left his hands and arms free to touch her, everywhere. She couldn't take her eyes off of his face. He was lying on his back with his eye closed with a small smile playing on his lips. Janet knew he was enjoying this as much as she was. She moved fast and she moved slowly until they were both crying out in pleasure._

"_That was amazing babe. Just what I needed." Eddie told her when she settled into his arms beneath the blankets. "Was it as good for you as it was for me?" _

"_It was." _

"_Look honey, I'm sorry that I haven't been the best…me lately." _

"_You're always the best you." _

"_No. It's just that my head has been hurting and all I want to do is sleep until the pain goes away but I know that you need me. I know that the boys need me so I suck the pain up and deal with it but when I do that, you and the boys get the shitty end of the stick and for that I'm sorry babe." _

"_You're doing the best you can and we'll get through it. We always do." _

"_Right now, my best isn't good enough._

"_Your best is exactly what we need." Janet leaned forward and kissed her husband and that's how they spent the remainder of their time together; lying next to each other kissing softly_

"Do you ever listen Eddie?" Janet snapped returning to his bed from the window. "Did you hear me when I said that I didn't want another baby? Apparently you didn't because you went and knocked me up. How could you? How could you get me pregnant and then go into a coma? How dare you Eddie. How dare you." Tears streamed from her eyes as she collapsed into the chair next to his bed. She took his hand in hers. "I'm sorry babe. I didn't mean to snap. I just…Eddie I need you. I'm scared Eddie. I am so damn scared. You were my rock when I was pregnant with the boys. I don't think that I can get through this without you so please babe, please wake up." She laid her head on his abdomen and cried softly.


	35. Chapter 35

"Janet, honey what's wrong?" Janet lifted her head off of Eddie's abdomen and looked at Laura, who had come to visit her son. "Is it Eddie? Is something wrong with him?" Janet shook her head and wiped her eyes.

"No. He is fine, well as fine as someone in a coma can be." Janet reached on to Eddie's beside table, grabbed a Kleenex and blew her nose.

"Why are you crying?" Laura pulled up a chair beside Janet and took her hand.

"I'm pregnant." Tears fell from Janet's eyes. "I'm pregnant and my husband, this baby's father is in a coma."

"But how? Were you getting IVF again?" Janet shook her head.

"It happened the normal way while we were at Disneyworld. I don't understand it. Before the boys, we tried and tried and tried and I never got pregnant. We haven't used protection since before we started trying to get pregnant for the first time. Eddie had been talking about wanting another baby but I didn't want this. It was him and now, it happened and he…he's not here."

"You're not going to…."

"No. Absolutely not. It may not have been planned but I love it. It was made from love and its part of Eddie. I'm just…I'm just emotionally overwhelmed right now."

"Jack and I will be there for you until Eddie wakes up."

"I know and I appreciate it." Laura gazed lovingly at her comatose son.

"He is going to be so happy when he wakes up."

"He wants a little girl. Probably to spoil her rotten."

"He has always had a soft spot for girls." Janet laughed.

"That's true." Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Dr. Weber walked in.

"Hi Janet. Hi Mrs. Latekka. How is our patient today?"

"The same."

"Well let's take a look." Laura and Janet moved away to give him some room. "I will have to agree with you Janet. Eddie is the same. Have you noticed any movements: eye blinking, movement of his arms, legs, hands or feet?"

"No. Is that bad?"

"No. It's not bad. If we would see any spontaneous movements that can be an indication that he is waking up."

"Can be?"

"Sometimes people in comas will have spontaneous movement but they don't wake up. In other cases, it leads to them waking up."

"So if Eddie begins moving which way will it go for him?" Laura asked.

"I can't say for certain but I believe in Eddie's case it will mean he is waking up." The women nodded, "Mrs. Latekka, could you excuse us for a minute? I need to discuss something with Janet, in private."

"She can stay. She is Eddie's mother and anything you have to say about Eddie can be said in front of Laura."

"Eddie is stable. He's in no immediate danger. The hospital policy regarding comatose patients is that if they are in need of medical attention that can only be given here than the patients can stay. Eddie doesn't fall into that category. He is breathing on his own."

"What are you saying?"

"Eddie needs to be moved to a nursing home. The medication that he is getting can be given at the nursing home along with his feeding tube."

"But what if…what if something happens to him and he needs medical care?"

"Then he will be transferred back here by ambulance. There is a nursing in the next town over, Mission Flats I believe which I have been told is only a short drive from here." Janet nodded. Her mind was whirling. Dr. Weber handed her a piece of paper. "This is the name of the nursing home and the administrator. She is expecting your call. She wants to meet with you to show you around and discuss the financial aspects."

"Have you seen this place? Is it a good place? Will he be taken care of?"

"I haven't personally been there but when this came up, I spoke with the doctors here and it was highly recommended. As soon as you decide that's where you want Eddie to go then I will pay them a visit."

"And if I don't like it?"

"Then we will work together to find the right place for your husband; a place that you are confident in."

"Will you continue to be his doctor?"

"Yes Janet. I am with Eddie until he is awake and given a clean bill of health. Now, I won't be able to drive down everyday like I do now but he will see me once a week and when I am not around I have arranged for another physician to take care of Eddie."

"And he's good?"

"As good as I am." Janet nodded and stood.

"Thank you for the information. Since I already have taken the day off I am going to see if I can take care of this today. I can't really afford to take any more time off, especially now." She gave Laura a hug.

"Let me come with you sweetheart." Laura knew that Janet was thinking about the money and how she could afford for Eddie to go into a nursing home. She saw the look in her daughter in law's eyes when Dr. Weber mentioned the financial aspect. Laura's mind was also working. She was thinking of ways to help.

"No. I should handle this on my own. I'm his wife. It's my responsibility. I will call you later." Janet shook Dr. Weber's hand. "Thank you for everything. Thank you for taking such good care of my husband."

* * *

"This is a very nice facility." Janet told the director of the nursing home.

"Thank you. We take pride in our jobs. We have an excellent record and quite a few accommodations. Is this a place that you can see your husband in?"

"Honestly, I never thought about my husband being in a place like this. I don't want him to be here. I want him home with me and our children but I know that I don't have a choice. He needs to be in a nursing home and this seems like a good place."

"We will take good care of your husband."

"Will I be able to bring our children here to see him?"

"Absolutely." Janet nodded.

"So how much is this going to cost me?"

Mrs. Lynch began to explain the financial policy of the nursing home. Their insurance would cover half of the cost and Janet would be responsible for the other half and the number was big. She knew she couldn't afford that payment and take care of her family with the way things were right now. She was going to have to come up with some other alternatives.

"I need some time to figure some things out. Can I get back to you in a couple of days?"

"That's fine." Both women stood and shook hands. "Mrs. Latekka, I am so very sorry that you are in this situation but I promise you that your husband will be in excellent hands."

"I believe that."

* * *

"Mommy." The Latekka triplets yelled when Janet walked in the house.

"Hey guys." Janet squatted down and hugged all three of them tightly.

"Is daddy awake yet?" Jacob asked.

"No sweetie. He's still sleeping."

"I miss him." Jackson told her.

"So do I Jax. So do I."

"Hey boys, why don't you go upstairs and play?" Sharon suggested, coming into the living room.

"Mommy are you okay? Is your belly hurting again?" Josh had obviously picked up on the stress she was feeling.

"I'm just tired and hungry.

"Grandma made getti." Josh told her.

"That sounds good."

"Go on upstairs guys."

"Can we watch a movie?" Jackson asked.

"Sure. Let me get mommy some dinner than I will come up and put in a movie." The boys ran upstairs. "Come on sweetheart. You look like hell." Sharon led Janet to the kitchen and got her a plate of spaghetti. "Eat up honey." Sharon kissed Janet and ran upstairs to put a movie in for the boys. When she got back down to the kitchen Janet had pushed her plate away and was staring at the table. Sharon pushed it back.

"I'm not hungry mom."

"You need to eat honey." Janet looked at her mom with tears rolling down her face.

"I…I…can't."

"What did they doctor say?"

"I'm pregnant." Janet lay her head on the table and sobbed. Between her unexpected pregnancy and the unexpected nursing home bill she felt like her whole life was spiraling out of control. Sharon just sat there and let her daughter cry. She knew that she needed to get it out of her system and she would talk when she was ready.

"I'm scared mom." Janet finally admitted when she calmed herself down. "I am so scared. My last pregnancy was pure hell. I had one complication after another but Eddie was there for me. He held my hand through it all and now…now he's not he's not here. He wanted this baby and now he isn't here. How am I going to get through this pregnancy without him?"

"I'll be here. Tom will be here and so will Jack and Laura. We all will be here for you, the boys and this baby until Eddie wakes up." Janet nodded but there was something more weighing on her mind.

"After the boys were born I had post partum depression. I couldn't take care of or love my boys. I didn't realize what was going on but Eddie did. He kept the boys safe from me. What if…what if that happens again? What if I can't love this baby?"

"We are all going to be here for you. We are going to support you, the boys and this baby, whatever you need." Janet's tears increased.

"I'm sorry mom. I guess it's all the hormones raging through me. I am so overwhelmed right now. I have no idea where I am going to put her."

"Her? Isn't it a little too soon to know what you are having?"

"Eddie wanted a girl so I know that it's a girl."

"I think that you need a little more estrogen in this house."

"There is no room for her. I can keep her in my room but eventually that's not going to work. What am I going to do?" Janet sobbed.

"You don't have to decide that now." Janet was silent for a few minutes as she tried to get herself under control. She didn't want the boys walking in and see her crying.

"The boys are without their father and now the hospital is kicking Eddie out." Janet said after a few minutes.

"What?"

"He has to go to a nursing home. I went to see the one that Dr. Weber recommended and it's really nice. It's really nice and really expensive. Our insurance will pay for half and I am responsible for the other half and it's really expensive. I went…I…" Janet's bottom lip began to quiver. "The bank won't approve a second mortgage on the house because they had to go on my income alone because the profits from the company aren't a guarantee. I applied for a loan but I was turned down for the same reason. "Her tears were flowing again. "I…we have enough money in our savings account to cover the first six months or so but after that, I don't have a clue what I'm going to do." Sharon took her crying daughter in her arms, soothing her until she calmed down.

"There is a lot to figure out but it doesn't have to be done tonight or tomorrow or even in a week. All of this stress isn't good for the baby."

"Thanks mom." Janet sniffed.

"Look honey, why don't you go on up to your room and rest. You look exhausted. I'll handle the boys for the night."

"No. They are my children and I can't ask you to stay and take care of them."

"You aren't asking. I am your mother and you need my help. Now go to your room young lady." Janet smiled.

"Thanks mom." She stood and hugged her mother. "Thank you so much. I love you."

Janet went upstairs, kissed the boys and climbed into bed. She turned on the television not to watch it but to drown out the sound of her crying. She ended up crying herself to sleep and woke only briefly when the triplets climbed into bed with her.

* * *

"What is going on? What is everyone doing here and who are these people?" Janet asked the following night. She walked into her house after work and found her mother, stepfather, in-laws and a few guys she didn't know. Tom was shaking their hands. "And where are my children?" Normally, the second she walked in the door after work the boys were there greeting her.

"Hi honey." Laura came over and kissed her. "The boys are with Katie and Ikey at the park."

"What is going on?" She asked again.

"Why don't you sit down?" Janet allowed herself to be led to the couch when a horrible thought suddenly crossed her mind.

"Is Eddie…?"

"He's fine as far as I know." Tom showed the strange men out of her house and then Sharon, Tom and Jack came in, hugged her and then they all sat around the living room.

"How are you feeling dear?" Sharon asked.

"Fine. Tired but fine."

"With this pregnancy and Eddie's move to the nursing home, we want you to know that us, all of us are here to help you." Jack told her.

"Thank you."

"With that being said, Jack and I are going to pay the monthly bill for the nursing home that your insurance doesn't cover. " Janet was shocked.

"The men that were here when you got home are contractors." Tom explained. "They were here giving me an estimate."

"An estimate? I don't understand."

"An estimate for an addition; for a bedroom for you."

"I…I can't afford something like that."

"No you can't but I can. Now it's totally your call but they can add a bedroom down here for you and you can give the baby your room upstairs now." While Janet appreciated what everyone was offering her pride was not letting her accept it.

"I really don't know how to thank you. I can't tell you what this all means to me but I can't accept it. I will figure something out and I will take care of my husband and children."

"Janet we know you can take care of your family but you are forgetting one thing Janet. You, Eddie, the boys and this new baby are our family too and we all take care of our family." Sharon told her daughter.

"Eddie will be furious with all of us if instead of helping you we stood by and let you struggle. Before the surgery he made us promise that if anything happened to him during surgery that we, that all of us would make sure that his wife and boys were taken care of and right now we are keeping that promise. Let us keep that promise." Laura explained.

"Damn him." Janet was furious. "He was so concerned about not making it through surgery that maybe if he would have concentrated on making it through then we wouldn't be having this conversation." Janet was tired of crying but she couldn't stop herself. "Maybe…maybe…"

"Janet, honey he had a stroke, something he had no control over. He wanted to come back to you and the boys, healthy and pain free. He wanted that more than anything but he was realistic. He knew that there was a possibility that he wouldn't survive the surgery and that was his biggest fear. I think by getting promises from all of us to take care of you and the boys made it easier for him to go into surgery and fight. He knew that if anything happened you and the boys would be taken care of so he could put all of his energy into making it through the surgery."

"I miss him so much."

"He's going to wake up Janet."

"But when? Tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Next year? Five years from now; ten; twenty?"

"I hope its tomorrow for everybody's sake but do I think that's going to happen? No I don't." Jack told her. "But until he does wake up we are going to keep living and planning for that baby. It's what he wants." Janet nodded and wiped her tears.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry sweetheart. It's understandable."

"I will pay all of you back. I will go to the bank and pull money out of our savings account. It won't be the entire amount but it will…"

"We don't want your money Janet." Tom spoke and everyone nodded.

"But I…" Again, Janet's pride was leading the way.

"Once Eddie wakes up and gets back to work, we'll talk about paying us back okay?" Sharon knew none of them had any intention of letting Janet pay them back. They all had the money to help out and that's what they want to do.

"Thank you. Thank you all so much."

"We're family. It's what we do." At that moment Janet knew her and her boys would be okay until Eddie woke up.

* * *

"This is your new home Eddie. I hope you like it." Janet said to the motionless man lying on the bed. She had brought things from home, lots of pictures and some of his favorite little trinkets and set them throughout the room. She hoped when he woke up and saw them it would soothe him.

"I'm done with my picture." Jacob told her. Janet wanted the boys to color some pictures so she could hang them up.

"Why don't you show daddy?"

"He's sleeping mommy. He can't see it."

"You're right. He can't. Why don't you tell him about the picture?"

"Tell him what?"

"Tell him what you colored and maybe what color you colored it."

"Can he hear me?"

"Yeah baby. I think he can."

"Okay." Janet smiled as Jacob went into great detail about the picture of the castle he colored and then Jackson and Jacob followed suit. When they were done Janet gave them each a piece of tape and allowed them to hang up their pictures.

"We haven't had much time to talk these last few days because you have been one popular man." Janet began as she sat next to the bed and took Eddie's hand. She had gotten the boys set up with some toys to keep them occupied. "You wouldn't believe, well actually you probably would but your parents, my mom and Tom are being so generous. This home that you are in, it's a really nice place which makes it expensive. Our insurance will only pay for half and my half is pretty steep so your parents stepped in and they are paying the bill. Eddie I tried to get a second mortgage and a loan but the bank said no. We have enough in our savings to pay for a few months but your parents insisted on paying this bill and I am so thankful because things would have been, really, really tight for me and the boys."

"Now with this baby coming, I have been very overwhelmed. One reason is where are we going to put her? I thought that until I figured things out, she could bunk in our room but that can only last for so long so mom and Tom took pity on my and are paying for an addition of a master bedroom downstairs. Can you believe that Eddie? We are so lucky to have such an amazing family. I told them that we will pay them back and we will when you wake up and go back to work." Janet glanced over to check on the boys who were engrossed in their toys.

"Speaking of our baby, besides your parents, my mom and Tom I haven't told anyone about my pregnancy. I'm not ashamed about it at all. I just want to wait until I get through the first trimester. I'm old Eddie and the doctor told me that my chances for a miscarriage are increased just because of my age and if something happens then I won't have much explaining to do. Another thing I am nervous about is everyone knows that you are in a coma and I am afraid that their first thought will be that I cheated on you." Janet lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed it softly. "Baby, I did not cheat on you. This is your baby. We made her during our vacation to Disneyland. Do you remember that day? Our parents watched the kids so we could have a little grown up time and we made excellent use of that grownup time didn't we? I keep calling this baby a girl but I can't prove it. I haven't had an ultrasound yet but I know it's a girl. You wanted a little girl so I know that's what we are having. She will be so lucky to have you for her daddy so why don't you wake up so she can know her wonderful dad."

"Mommy I gotta pee." Janet looked away from Eddie.

"Daddy's bathroom is right over there." Janet pointed and Jackson ran into it.

"Why does daddy have a bathroom if he is sleeping?" Joshua asked.

"So when we visit we have a place to go to the bathroom.

"So how does daddy go pee since he isn't waking up? Does he pee the bed?" Jacob now entered the conversation.

"There is a tube that collects daddy's pee and puts it in a bag." Janet explained the best she could.

"Where is the tube? Is it in his pee pee?" Jacob sounded amazed.

"Yes it is."

"Can I see it?" Josh asked, heading for the bed but Janet reached out and stopped him.

"No way."

"But I wanna…"

"I said no. Now go back and play."

"I gotta pee." He whispered.

"When your brother is done then you can go."

"Fine." With an irritated sigh he began to walk away

"Knock off the attitude mister." Josh turned and looked at her. "Do you hear me?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes ma'am." At that moment Jackson came out of the bathroom and Josh ran past him into the bathroom.

"Ya know babe, I could really use your help with these guys. They keep me hoping." Janet watched his face but Eddie didn't respond. "I hope that I am doing okay with them. It's hard without you. Since your surgery the boys have been sleeping with me every night. I know that I shouldn't have let them but they didn't want me to be lonely and if I'm honest with myself, I enjoyed having them next to me but I know that I have to send them back to their own beds, something I am doing tonight. I have given them warning but I don't think that it is going to be easy. Eddie I am doing the best that I can with them but I know that it's not enough; I'm not enough. They need their father. They need you Eddie so please, please wake up as soon as you can. The boys and I miss you so much." Of course he didn't respond so she stood and kissed him. "I love you Eddie." She whispered in his ear.

* * *

"All right boys. Settle down." Janet had just finished their story and they had the giggles. "Lay down." Janet walked over to Jackson and kissed him. "Goodnight Jax. Me and daddy love you very much." From Jackson's bed she moved to Josh and finally Jake and repeated those words to both of them.

"I want to sleep with you."

"Jake, we talked about this. You guys are sleeping in your beds tonight."

"You'll be lonely mommy."

"'I will be fine Joshy. I'm a big girl."

"I'm scared."

"Jax there is nothing to be afraid of. You have your night light and I am right across the hall." Janet kissed each of her boys again and tucked them in. "Good night boys. I love you." Janet shut the door with the sounds of their cries ringing in her ears.

She went into her room and sat on the bed, biting her lip to keep from crying. In case the boys didn't stay in their room she didn't want them walking in and see her crying. It would scare them. She had to remain strong for her children.

After three attempts to crawl into their mother's bed the triplets finally fell asleep. Janet snuck into their room, made sure they were all tucked in and holding their favorite stuffed animal, courtesy of their father. They didn't start sleeping with those animals until Eddie fell into his coma. Janet figured that by holding the stuffed animals that their father gave them made them feel closer to him. In fact they woke up every morning, telling her about a dream they all had about their dad. It was the same dream but Janet assumed that one of the boys had a dream and the other two added to it with their own story.

After kissing them she returned to her bedroom, showered and climbed into her big empty bed. It only took a few minutes before she was overwhelmed with loneliness. It was really the first time since Eddie fell into his coma that she has had to sleep in her bed alone and she hated it. She missed Eddie so much. She grabbed his pillow that in a moment of nostalgia earlier she put some of his cologne on it. She held it close to her, inhaling his scent and like her boys, she cried herself to sleep.

* * *

"_Daddy." Jacob, Jackson and Joshua yelled as soon as they saw their dad. _

"_Hey guys. Come here and give me a hug." The boys eagerly hugged their dad. _

"_What are we doing today daddy?" Josh asked._

"_I was thinking about going to the beach." _

"_Yeah." The triplets cheered. The four of them walked to the beach that suddenly appeared. _

"_So how is mommy?"_

"_She's sad." Jackson answered. _

"_She cries a lot." Jake told his dad. "She misses you daddy." _

"_I miss her too." _

"_Why can't you wake up then?" _

"_I don't know Jax. I'm trying to wake up but I just can't." _

"_That's silly."_

"_Yep Jake. It is. Now when you boys wake up in the morning make sure you tell mommy that I love her." _

"_We will." They arrived at the beach. _

"_All right boys. Let's swim." The four Latekka boys ran into the water, laughing. _


	36. Chapter 36

Janet's life soon became very monotonous. She woke up every morning, fed the boys breakfast, kissed them goodbye and left them in the care of her mother while she went off to work at Best Friend Windows. During her eight to nine hour working days, she answered the phone, filed paperwork, created and sent out bills, and handled walk in customers. She was very good at her job. She ran the office like a well oiled machine. Hiring Janet was the one of the best moves that Nick made.

Business at Best Friend Windows continued to increase every day and Nick had no choice but to hire more guys. When he hired more guys he realized that he needed Janet to handle payroll and human resources issues so the company paid for her to take a semester long class at The Duf on Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoons from two until four and during those class times, Nick continued to pay Janet her hourly rate because she was after all taking the class for the company and once she completed the class with an "A" she was given more work to do and a raise.

When her work day was over she went home, fed the boys and herself dinner and then she drove them over to the nursing home in Mission Flats to see Eddie where they spent an hour visiting. The boys spent about ten to fifteen minutes telling their unconscious father about their day and then they went and played. Janet kept toys in Eddie's room for the boys so they could entertain themselves while she spent the next forty five minutes talking to Eddie and working out his legs. Her days usually ended with a short visit to the park so the boys could run off their energy, home for a bath, story and finally bed so they could all get up and do it again the next day.

The weekend consisted of Janet spending all day Saturday with her boys, making up for the time she spent away from them during the week. She began a Saturday morning breakfast in bed tradition. Janet would make breakfast for them and the four of them would climb into her bed, eat it and watch television. After breakfast the four of them would participate in a family activity, usually a cheap one. After dinner she would take the boys to Eddie's parents for the night and she went to stay the night at the nursing home with her husband. The hour a day she got to spend with him wasn't enough. Even though he was unconscious she needed to be with him. On Sundays she woke up next to Eddie and they spent a few more hours together before she went to go get their boys so they could spend the rest of the day together before the following week started.

Yes, Janet Latekka's life had become a boring routine. She worked too much but she had no choice. The boys were getting older and more expensive. She had to support herself, her upcoming baby and her three children. She felt like a horrible mother because she felt like she wasn't spending nearly enough time with the boys and the time would be even shorter once the baby was born but she had no choice. She was doing what she had to do until Eddie woke up.

She missed Eddie and every day that went by she missed him even more than the previous day. Every day that passed without her husband made her long for him. She longed for his touch; she longed to see his smile; hear his voice; look into his eyes again and her longing became more every morning the boys would tell her about the dreams that they had about their dad. According to the boys, they always did something really fun with Eddie and then they would pass on a message from Eddie. The messages at first were casual like "Daddy loves you." "Daddy is trying really hard to wake up." "Daddy misses you so much." but then the messages became more specific. On Janet and Eddie's seventh anniversary the boys told her "Daddy says Happy Anniversary." or when it was time to get an oil change the boys told her "Daddy says it's time to change the oil in our van and don't forget." Janet attributed those specific messages to one of three sets of ears with great hearing overhearing her talking about her anniversary and the fact that the oil had to be changed. She was happy the triplets had their dreams because those dreams gave them back their father when they were sleeping.

Janet's pregnancy was progressing normally. She was considered high risk because of her age and all of the complications in her last pregnancy so she had to see her OB every two weeks. Once the first trimester passed safely, Janet then began to tell her friends and because Knights Ridge is such a small town, word spread quickly. Janet thought that some people, the people that didn't really know her would think that she cheated on her comatose husband but if anyone thought that Janet didn't hear about it. The only responses she got from people was happiness, excitement, support and quite a lot of sympathy.

The happiness, excitement, and support was appreciated by Janet. It reminded her that even though she felt alone she knew she wasn't and with everyone else being excited about the newest addition to the Latekka family some of Janet's stress and anxiety began to fade and was replaced by excitement about the new baby, a girl that was confirmed with an ultrasound when Janet hit her twenty week mark.

It was the sympathy that bothered Janet. No one came out and said that they felt sorry for her but she saw it in the looks on their faces and heard it in the words that they didn't say. They felt sorry for the poor woman who is pregnant, raising three boys by herself while her husband is lying helpless in coma but the sympathy proved to be a good thing for Janet and her family because the citizens of Knights Ridge were good people who looked out for their own. People began bringing over things for the baby like a stroller, highchair, crib, bassinet, bouncy seats, clothes and toys and there were also food that showed up at her house, gift cards for the grocery store, for a toy store. Those gifts were anonymous so Janet had no one to thank for their generosity. As much as she hated people feeling sorry for her, she was thankful for what their sympathy led them to do; help take care of her family.

* * *

Before she knew, it, the first day of school for the triplets had arrived. Her boys were starting kindergarten and she could hardly believe it. It was a bittersweet day. As a mother, it was hard to let her children go and embark on a new adventure without her by their side and the worst part of this momentous occasion was the fact that their father was not there to see it.

"Are you guys excited to go to kindergarten?" Janet asked as the four of them were having breakfast.

"Yep." Jake answered.

"I guess." Jackson replied.

"I'm scared." Josh admitted.

"Why are you scared?" Janet asked her youngest son.

"I dunno. I just am."

"Don't be scared Joshy. Jax and I will be there with you." Jake encouraged his brother.

"Yeah. If anyone is mean to you I will punch them in the face." Jax informed them.

"No you will not young man. If someone is mean to either of your brothers you will go to the teacher. Do you understand me?"

"Yes ma'am. " Jax answered sadly.

"All right guys, time to go get dressed." Janet had their clothes laid out for them. She chose jean shorts and polo shirts for them.

"Mommy, daddy said to tell you that we shouldn't wear matching outfits today." Josh told her and Janet was shocked and then she smiled. It really did sound like Eddie. Janet had put the three of them in matching outfits through much of their lives and it drove Eddie crazy.

"_Really Janet? What is the point?" Eddie asked, motioning to the three two year old boys standing in front of him in identical outfits. If he didn't know them so well he wouldn't be able to tell them apart._

"_Don't they look cute?" _

"_Yeah sure but I don't get it." _

"_Get what?"_

"_They are getting their two year old pictures today and you dressed them the same." _

"_So? They are triplets. They should be dressed the same." _

"_You might as well just take picture of one of them and copy it three times."_

"_What?"_

"_Come on honey. In one year, five or ten years and you look at those pictures are you going to be able to tell them apart?" _

"_Of course I can. I am their mother and I will always know who is who." _

"_When they are standing in front of you of course you can but looking at a picture you may not be able to tell them apart." _

"_So what are you saying?" _

"_I know how much you love dressing the boys alike and I probably won't be able to stop you most of the time but the boys, they are each their own person and they should wear their own clothes especially when they are having pictures done." _

"_I guess I really didn't think of it like that." _

"_If you want to dress the boys alike every now and then, I am good with that but not all the time and especially not for pictures. I want our boys to be their own man and not clones of each other." _

"_Will you help me change two of them?" _

"_I sure will." Eddie scooped up Jackson and Jacob, one under each arm and carried them to their room like a sack of potatoes, their giggles echoing throughout the house. _

Janet knew that the boys were right. Their father wouldn't want them in identical outfits for their first day of school. At school they were going to really begin becoming their own man and matching outfits would impede that.

"Come on guys. Let's go find you some new clothes." The boys ran up the stairs talking about what they wanted to wear.

It didn't take long to the boys ready for school. Joshua wore an outfit that his mother laid out. He was so easygoing and would wear whatever his mom told him too. Jacob and Jackson knew exactly what they wanted to wear. Jake wore a pair of jean shorts and a tee shirt with Sponge Bob on it and Jackson wore a pair of jeans a polo shirt and at that moment, in their own outfits, Janet saw exactly what Eddie had been saying. The triplets really were their own little man; Joshua, the easy going kid who would do whatever made his mom happy; Jacob, the kid who loved to have fun and Jackson, was just like his father; keeping it casual but looking good at the same time. Tears filled Janet's eyes. She really wished Eddie was here to see this.

Fifteen minutes before the bus was due to pull up in front of the Latekka home, Janet's mom, Tom, Jack, Laura and Janet were all out on the porch waiting for the bus with a video camera so when Eddie woke up, he will be able to see his boy's first day of school.

"Now Jacob, when the teacher is talking you have to be quiet." Janet told him. Jacob was the talker of the three boys.

"I know mom. Daddy already told me." Everyone but Janet looked at Jacob in surprise. Janet was used to this by now.

"When did your daddy tell you this?" Laura asked.

"Last night in my dream. He told me to sit down and don't talk unless the teacher asks me a question."

"I think you should listen to your daddy." Jack told his grandson.

"Daddy told me to be brave."Josh whispered.

"And daddy told me to watch out for Josh and help him to be brave." Jackson proudly told the group.

"Why don't you guys go get your lunches?" Janet suggested, fighting back tears. "They are on the table with your names on them."

"Okay mommy." The three boys rushed into the house.

"What is this about these dreams?" Tom asked when they were alone.

"Every morning they wake up and tell me about a dream they had. In this dreams, they always do something fun with Eddie and they always have messages for me from Eddie."

"It sounds like the boys found a way to deal with Eddie being gone." Jack observed.

"Yeah that's what I thought but lately his messages to me are really specific. Like this morning they told me that he didn't want them wearing matching outfits. The boys have never cared about that but Eddie never liked it and it would be something that he would say not the boys so honestly, I don't know what to think."

"I'm not sure if you will ever know sweetheart." Sharon told her. "The mind is capable of amazing things."

"You're probably right." Janet mumbled but she wasn't buying it. She was convinced that something more was going on because the messages were too specific, things a grown man would advise not a five year old child but Janet knew that there would probably never be an explanation. She was just glad the boys had their father, if only in their dreams.

"All ready for school mommy." Josh announced running out on the porch.

A few minutes later the big yellow school bus came to pick up the Latekka triplets for their first day of kindergarten with the video camera rolling the entire time. Jackson and Jake eagerly climbed aboard but Josh did not. He clung to his mother, who was holding back her tears which was an accomplishment considering Josh was crying. Finally, Jackson and Jacob, being the good brothers that are came off of the bus and coaxed Josh on it with them and once the bus was out of sight, Janet burst into tears.

"Eddie should be here." She cried and no one on the porch disagreed with her.

* * *

Once the boys started school time seemed to move even faster. Every morning Janet would get the boys on the bus and then go to work. After school, her mom was there to get them off the bus and when Janet was off of work, like during the summer, she would come home, hear about their day, feed them supper and go to the nursing home to see Eddie. Now, his walls were covered with projects that the boys had done at school.

Holidays were rough simply because Eddie wasn't there with them. He missed Halloween when Josh dressed up as a puppy dog; Jackson dressed up as a cowboy and Jacob as Sponge Bob. He missed them trick or treating. Eddie missed Thanksgiving where the triplets sat in the living room with Jack and Tom watching the football game. The boys didn't have a clue what was going on but when their grandfathers cheered they cheered right along with them.

After Thanksgiving it was time for Christmas. Janet was really emotional during Christmas. She struggled with whether or not to buy Eddie any gifts. He was in a coma and couldn't open them but she wanted him to know that he was a part of Christmas so in the end she decided to buy him a gift and she had the boys pick him out a gift for him as well; one from each of them. As she wrapped the presents for the boys she sobbed because Eddie should have been there especially when she was trying to put together all of the toys she bought for them; a job that Eddie had done since they were born. On Christmas morning Janet filmed the boys opening their presents as silent tears fell from her cheeks.

Once Janet started to show she told the boys about their baby sister and they did not take it well. They cried and told her that they didn't want a stupid sister. Janet knew that they were only five and their reaction was expected but she still cried herself to sleep and wished Eddie was there. The next morning the three of them woke up and apologized to her and promised to be good big brothers and Janet had to wonder if Eddie gave them a hard time in their dream during the night.

This pregnancy was different then the last one. First of all, her belly wasn't anywhere as big as it was with the triplets. She could actually move around on her own, she could breathe easily and she could see her feet and shave her own legs. Secondly, she has had fewer complications. The baby girl inside of her was growing exactly as she should be. Janet's blood pressure was higher than it normally is when she isn't pregnant but it wasn't dangerously high and her obstetrician was keeping a close eye on it.

The hardest thing for Janet in regards to her pregnancy was what was hard for her every day; Eddie wasn't there. The first time she felt their daughter really move inside of her she burst into tears. She remembered the first time the boys really moved. They were sitting together on the couch when one of them started kicking and it wasn't long before the other two started kicking. Janet's belly was moving like crazy and Eddie was there to feel every kick. He placed his hands on her belly with a look of pure amazement and joy and then told Janet her belly looked like there was an alien inside of her. She missed the kisses to her belly and she missed the soft caresses and whispers he gave her belly.

Physically the worst thing about the pregnancy was her exhaustion. She was tired when she was pregnant with the triplets but with the boys, she spent most of her time in the hospital and when she wasn't in the hospital, she didn't have three five year old boys to chase after…alone. She would put the boys to bed around eight thirty and after a shower she followed their example and slept hard until her alarm went off the following morning. During one of her overnight visits at the nursing home, she was exhausted. She came into Eddie's room, yelled at him because he wasn't waking up and because she was pregnant and exhausted. When he didn't respond she laid her head on his abdomen and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

"Hey Nick?" Janet was a work and had been waiting for Nick to finish his phone call. "I'm going to have to take the rest of the day off." Nick never cared if Janet took of early on occasion because she only left early because of the boys but it was ten in the morning and she never leaves this early.

"Is one of the boys sick?" Janet shook her head.

"No it's me. I'm in labor and I need to go to the hospital." Nick dropped the file he was holding.

"What? Are you serious? You aren't due yet." Janet was three weeks away from her due date.

"Babies come early Nick."

"How long have you been in labor?"

"I started feeling the contractions about six this morning but they were irregular. They just became regular during the last hour and they are about 5 and a half to six minutes apart." Nick couldn't believe how calm Janet was. "Now the payroll is already to go. You just have to enter the information into the computer like I showed you. I left…" Janet paused when her belly contracted and continued once the contraction passed. "I left you instructions in case you forgot and if you have any problems you can call me."

"Janet forget about payroll. We need to get you to the hospital."

"I can get myself to the hospital Nick." Janet took her purse out of her desk drawer.

"Over my dead body are you driving yourself to the hospital. Eddie would never forgive me if I let his pregnant wife drive herself to the hospital."

"Nick it's really not necessary."

"Don't argue with me Janet Latekka. I am taking you to the hospital." Nick grabbed her coat and walked over to her desk. Janet let him help her into her coat.

"But my van. What about my van?"

"I'll make sure your van gets to your mom. Now come on. I have no idea how to deliver a baby." Janet laughed and allowed Nick to lead her to his car.

Fifteen minutes after they left Best Friend Windows Nick and Janet arrived at the hospital. Since she was a woman in labor, she was taken straight back to labor and delivery. Nick waited outside while Janet changed and was examined. Twenty minutes after they arrived, Nick was ushered into Janet's room.

"So what goes on?" Janet was lying on the bed hooked up to a fetal monitor.

"I'm five and a half centimeters dilated."

"So she's coming today?"

"She is coming today." Nick and Janet looked at each other and Janet smiled. "This is awkward isn't it?"

"A little bit. Eddie should be here; not me." Janet was overcome with sadness.

"No offense Nick, but I agree with you but he would be glad that you are here."

"He's my best friend and since he can't be here, I will fill in until Hannah gets here of course."

"Thank you Nick."

"No problem Janet."

Four hours later, Janet still had not had the baby, and had only dilated a half a centimeter while her contractions continued. The contractions were still coming in regular five minute intervals but they hadn't increased in severity. Janet was in pain but it wasn't severe pain so at this point she was taking some pain medication.

"The boys. They will be home from school in an hour and I…"

"Honey Tom will be there when the boys get off of the bus." Sharon told her.

"As soon as Jack gets off of work he will be over to help out." Laura added.

"And Nick is available for back up along with Ikey and Katie." Hannah informed Janet.

"Make sure that they know that I am okay. They might be scared if they know that I am in the hospital. The only thing they know about hospitals is that their father came into one and didn't come home. I don't want them to worry."

"We'll tell them honey. We'll make sure that know that it's a good thing that you are in the hospital."

"And I don't want them here until after she is born. I don't want them to see me in pain." At that minute another contraction, five minutes after her last one hit Janet. "I…I…didn't pack a bag." Janet told her mom breathlessly. "And the baby…I didn't pack a bag for the baby."

"Don't worry. I'll pack a bag for you and the baby."

"How can I not worry? She's early and I'm not ready for her."

"Honey…" Laura began but Janet interrupted her.

"I'm not ready. I'm not ready to do this on my own without Eddie." Tears began to fall from Janet's eyes. "I can't do this without Eddie. I want Eddie here." Janet rolled over on her side, cradled her belly in her hands and sobbed.

* * *

Twelve hours after she was admitted at ten thirty at night, she had barely dilated. She was a smidge over six centimeters so the doctor decided to break her water to move things along. He suggested that she get an epidural because the pain would get worse and Janet was all for that especially since her pain has steadily increased.

"I'm going to kill him." Janet groaned after another contraction hit her. It was going on eight in the morning and Janet had been labor for twenty six long hours and at this point she was miserable. Her contractions had become unbearable in the last two hours and she was dilating slowly. The last time she was checked she was nine and a half centimeters.

"Eddie?" Hannah asked.

"Yes Eddie. When he wakes up from his coma I am going to kill him. He did this to me and he's not here to suffer the agony of his actions."

"What would you do if he was here?"

"I would be yelling at him; maybe pulling his hair or squeezing his hand until it falls off when a contraction hits."

"You can do all that to me."

"It's not the same."

"Here comes another one sweetie." Hannah warned, watching the fetal monitor. Janet cried out in pain.

"Hannah, I feel like I need to push." Janet gasped.

"No. Don't push Janet." Hannah hit Janet's call button and told them of the latest development. In less than a minute a nurse was in there, checking Janet's cervix.

"Okay Mrs. Latekka. She is finally ready." The nurse called in some assistance to get the room ready.

"Hannah, my mom and Laura."

"I'll have them paged." Sharon and Laura took a break and went down to the cafeteria for breakfast.

"Thanks…Ohh…."

"Do not push Mrs. Latekka."

"But I…"

"A few more minutes."

"I don't think I can wait that long." Janet groaned again. Her contractions were non-stop.

"Well I see someone decided to get this party started."

"She's coming doctor. I want to push."

"Go ahead Janet. Push for me." The doctor stood in between Janet's legs and watched her push as a nurse got him gloved and gowned. "Great job. On the next contraction push again."

It took thirty more minutes before Eddie and Janet's daughter was pushed out into the world. Laura had the video camera ready and rolling when the doctor held up the screaming girl for all to see so when Eddie woke up he would be able to see his daughter's birth. Janet was crying right along with the baby as she was laid on her mother's chest. Janet immediately noticed that she was the spitting image of her father and that made her cry harder.

"Hello baby girl." Janet finally managed to say once her crying subsided. "You are such a beautiful little girl. You look just like your daddy." Janet turned her daughter to the video camera. "Eddie, this is your daughter Jocelyn Edith." Laura zoomed in and got close ups of mom and baby. "I gave her the name you wanted her to have. She's perfect Eddie and I know she can't wait to meet you." Janet wished, more than anything that Eddie was here to meet his daughter. Janet kissed her daughter's head. A nurse cut the umbilical cord and took Jocelyn away from her mother to get cleaned and checked out. Seeing, a nurse and not Eddie cut the cord pushed Janet over the edge. She watched her daughter and cried silently.

* * *

"_What did mommy name your new sister?" Eddie asked his boys, as they ate ice cream cones._

"_Josh-Lynn. Like me." Josh answered proudly. _

"_No bud. It's not Josh-Lynn. It's Jocelyn." _

"_How do you know? You asked us what her name was." Jackson asked. _

"_Because mommy and I talked about it before…"_

"_Before you went to sleep and didn't wake up?" Jacob accused. _

"_Yeah Jake. We talked about it before I went to sleep and didn't wake up." The boys and their father were silent for a few minutes, eating their ice cream." So what do you guys think of your new sister?" _

"_She's boring." _

"_All she does is sleep and cry." _

"_Look guys, she is a baby and babies need a lot of attention but she will grow up real quick and then she will do more than sleep and cry.. She won't be boring. Now I need a promise from you guys." _

"_What daddy?" _

"_Promise me that you are going to be the best big brothers that you can be to her. Can you do that?" _

"_Yes sir."_

"_Help your mom out too. Keep your room clean and listen to your mom. Don't make her ask you to do something twice. Since I'm not there she needs you guys more than ever. Do you understand?" Three boys nodded._

"_Daddy when are you coming back?" _

"_I don't know. I just can't wake up." _

"_Everybody misses you."_

" '_Specially mommy." _

"_She is so sad all of the time. She cries a lot. 'Specially when she looks at Josh-Lynn." Tears filled Eddie's eyes. He had to find his way back to his family._

"_Tell mommy not be sad and enjoy Jocelyn. Can you tell her that?" _

"_Yes sir." _


	37. Chapter 37

Janet was in the hospital for two days following Jocelyn's birth. She spent most of the first day catching up on sleep while Jocelyn was in the nursery in between visitors. After school, the boys were brought over to meet their sister. They didn't seem too excited and they only held her because they really weren't given a choice and as soon as they could, they passed her along and climbed up on their mother's hospital bed. They really missed their mother and when Sharon and Tom took them home they cried.

On the second day after Janet woke up and Jocelyn was placed in her arms she began to cry and couldn't stop. She was overcome with such emotion; heartbreak; anger and sadness. She was cradling a miracle baby in her arms; a baby she never thought she would have; a baby she never wanted until she came to be; the baby girl that Eddie desired and now he wasn't here to enjoy or love this precious little miracle. Janet saw so much of Eddie in Jocelyn that it was just proving to be too much and with her pregnancy hormones on overdrive it pushed her over the edge. The doctor ended up giving her a sedative to calm her down. When she came out of the sedation, she thought felt better but as soon as she saw Jocelyn she teared up again so her doctor prescribed her a strong anti-depressant. Considering that her husband had been in a coma for the last nine months; she had been working like crazy to support her growing family; she had been raising three young boys on her own and that number just changed to four; she was overwhelmed; lonely; stressed out both emotionally and physically so postpartum depression was no surprise and no one wanted to take a chance so just to be safe, Janet swallowed the pills.

* * *

As soon as Janet was released, she had her mom drive her to Eddie's nursing home so he could meet his daughter. For every mile that passed to Mission Flats tears fell to match them. Like every time she visited Eddie, there was a small part of her that hoped he would be awake but she knew he wouldn't be but maybe, just maybe, having Jocelyn in his arms might be what it takes to wake him up or at least she hoped with everything she had that would be the case.

Once they arrived at the nursing home, it took Janet twenty minutes to make it to Eddie's room because all of the nurses, who had been with Janet through most of her pregnancy, wanted to see and hold the newest bundle of Latekka joy. By the time Janet and Jocelyn got to Eddie's room, with Sharon trailing behind carrying the carrier and diaper bag and Jocelyn was crying because she was hungry.

"I'll be back in a couple of hours with the boys okay sweetheart?" Sharon was going to go to the grocery store and when the boys got off the bus, she was going to bring them to see their dad. Since Janet had been in the hospital the boys hadn't been to the nursing home and even though they hadn't asked to come by, they always asked about their dad.

"Thanks mom."

"Is there anything you want or need from the store?"

"Nursing pads please."

"Of course." Sharon kissed Janet and her granddaughter. "Enjoy your visit."

Janet walked over to her husband and kissed him softly. Tears filled her eyes when he didn't respond to her kiss. She just wanted him to wake up and smile at her. With a sigh, she pulled a chair up next to Eddie's bed, lifted her shirt and pulled a swollen breast out and helped Jocelyn attach so she could eat. For a few minutes, Janet stared at her daughter with tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Sorry, I haven't been by to visit the last couple of days but I was otherwise occupied giving birth to our daughter; the daughter that you wanted. I was in labor for twenty six hours; twenty six very long hours and you weren't there. I needed you Eddie and you weren't there." Some of Janet's sadness was dissipating only to be replaced with anger.

"Every morning the boys wake up, share the adventure that they had with you while they were sleeping and then they give me some message from you. At first, I blew it off, thinking it was just the boys' way of dealing with their loss but now, I believe that somehow, you have found a way to communicate with our children. So if you can do that, why in the hell aren't you communicating with me? Dammit, Eddie, I need you. I need communication from you. I just need you." Jocelyn stopped eating and Janet moved her to her shoulder to burp her.

"Yesterday, I couldn't stop crying. I just couldn't stop thinking that you weren't here for her or me. Eddie when I learned about this pregnancy I had a lot of fear but one of my biggest fears was postpartum depression. With the boys, it was you that realized something was wrong and then you were there for me as I got better. You took care of me and the boys until I could do it myself. I hate to imagine what would have happened had you not been there. I was terrified that it would come back with this pregnancy and guess what Eddie? It's back and it has a lot to do with you. Maybe if you were here I wouldn't be feeling like I am feeling; I wouldn't be crying constantly. Now, I am on a really strong anti-depressant and my mom is going to have to move in for the next couple of weeks to make sure I don't hurt myself or our children. I am a grown woman whose mom has to move in and babysit me. It should be you Eddie. It should be you taking care of me." Janet wiped her tears.

"I suppose you want to meet your daughter." Sniffing, she stood and placed the baby in between his arm and the side of his body. "Eddie, this is your daughter Jocelyn Edith. She really wants to meet you so please, Eddie, please wake up." Janet stared at Eddie, looking for some reaction but there was none. Janet sat back on her chair and took his hand in hers.

"I am so mad at you and at the same time, I miss you so damn much. It's hard Eddie. It's so hard and I don't know how much longer I can do this without you. I hope you can hear me because I need you. I need you so much." Janet wiped away her falling tears and picked up her daughter. "Well baby girl, I hope you didn't anticipate too much from your father cause it looks like this is all we're going to get. "

* * *

Janet took three weeks of maternity leave from Best Friend Windows instead of the normal six weeks because Janet knew her family couldn't afford any more time off; three weeks was pushing it financially as it was. The first week home, it took everything she had to get out of bed every morning but knowing that she was experiencing postpartum depression she made an effort to get up and help get the boys off to school but once they were gone and in between Jocelyn's crying spells she was in bed alternating between crying and sleeping.

During the second week of her maternity leave, her medication really began to take effect and she felt better. She had more energy; spent less time in bed and more time out of bed; she became more affectionate with the boys and she didn't cry every time she looked at her daughter. Sharon noticed theses changes as well and spent periods of times away from the house, leaving Janet alone, increasing the alone time every time Sharon left the house and each time Janet handled things fine.

On her third and final week of maternity leave Janet was completely on her own but Sharon and Laura were just a phone call away. The first day Janet awoke early, thinking she would have plenty of time to get the boys up and ready for school but she didn't count on Jackson dragging his feet; Josh spilling his orange juice down the front of him and having to change his clothes; Jacob falling back asleep in front of the television while Janet thought he was getting dressed and Jocelyn just crying. Because of all of those combining factors, the boys missed the school bus and Janet ended up dropping them off an hour late.

The second day Janet woke up earlier than the previous day and the boys just barely made it to the bus. It was that day Janet decided to do whatever it takes to make her life as a single mother of four children easier so she and Jocelyn made a trip to the salon where Janet cut nine inches of curls off which resulted in her hair coming to rest right below her ears. She knew Eddie would hate it when he woke up; he loved running his fingers through her curls but at this point she was going for convenience and short hair was going to make her life easier for her and it worked. The next morning the boys were ready in plenty of time for the bus and the rest of the week went relatively smoothly.

The night before Janet was to return to work Jocelyn, decided that she wasn't going to sleep well. Janet had just fallen asleep when Jocelyn woke up screaming. Janet tried to feed her but she wasn't having anything to do with eating. Janet gave Jocelyn her binky but she just spit it out so finally Janet just walked her screaming daughter around while patting her back and butt and she finally calmed down but as soon as she was laid back in her bassinet, she started screaming again so Janet spent the night walking and catching some sleep in the rocking chair until Jocelyn began crying again. The next morning, Janet was exhausted but she went to work and no one had any idea.

Once Janet returned to work, little changed in her daily routine that she had before Jocelyn was born. She got up in the mornings, got the boys ready for school and left them with her mom to get them off to school and then during the day her mom stayed with Jocelyn. After work, Janet came home, fed her children, cleaned up and then went to the nursing home for an hour. After their visit, the five of them came home; the boys got their baths while Janet packed their lunches. After bath time was over, the boys had their television time while Janet bathed herself and Jocelyn and then finally Janet read the boys their story, kissed them goodnight, fed Jocelyn and she put the two of them to bed. Every night, Janet slept hard until her daughter woke her up for food and then she slept hard again until her alarm went off.

During the weekends Jack and Laura kept all of their grandchildren and like she did before she spent the night at the nursing home but this time she just crawled in bed next to him and caught up on all of her sleep that she missed out on during the week. On Sunday mornings, over her breakfast of bagels and Eddie's IV breakfast Janet talked to him about the past week; about the upcoming week and about her feelings and when she was mentally exhausted, she kissed him goodbye and with a heavy heart she left him to start another week without him.

When Jocelyn was six weeks old she developed colic and the next two months were miserable for Janet and the boys. Jocelyn barely slept. She cried all of the time and nothing would make her happy. Everyone thought that maybe Jocelyn was reacting to the stress in her mother's life but she was colicky with everyone so life became miserable for Janet and the boys. Janet was exhausted and irritable and at times she took it out on the boys.

* * *

"I'm gonna get you." Jackson yelled as he chased his squealing brothers through the living room. Janet jumped up and grabbed the three boys.

"Enough."

"We're playing cops and robbers." Jacob told her. "Me and Josh are the robbers and Jax is the cop trying to get us."

"Not right now you're not. I just got your sister asleep so you need to be quiet."

"But we're playing." Josh whined.

"Well play quietly. Read a book or play your candy land game."

"We don't wanna play candy land. We wanna play cops and robbers." Now Jackson was whining.

"I don't care what you want. You are not playing cops and robbers right now. You can play when Jocelyn wakes up."

"You are so mean." Jacob accused.

"Yeah. You're so mean." Josh echoed his brother. Before Janet could respond the triplets ran up stairs, not quietly, and slammed their bedroom door shut. Janet closed her eyes, hoping that Jocelyn slept through that but after a few seconds of silence Jocelyn's cries through the baby monitor filled the room. Fighting back tears of frustration, Janet headed upstairs to her crying daughter.

"Do you hear what you did?" Janet opened the boys' bedroom door and snapped at them. "You woke up your sister."

"I hate our sister." Jacob yelled.

"She's always crying." Josh said.

"We always have to be quiet and can't have any fun anymore." Jackson added and Janet began to cry.

"You don't hate your sister. You are her big brothers. You love your sister." Josh walked over to his mother and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Don't cry mommy. Daddy says that…"

"Stop Joshua. Stop all of you. I don't want to hear anymore about what your dad says. Your dad is not here. "

"But he…" Jackson began but Janet stopped him.

"No. I mean it. I don't want to hear any more of daddy's messages." Janet had reached her breaking point. Today was the one year anniversary that Eddie fell into his coma and Janet was overwhelmed with emotion. "Now since you can't follow my instructions and you were loud and woke your sister up you will sit on your beds and think about what you did wrong."

"But mommy…" The three boys cried.

"No buts. On your beds." The boys stood there and cried. "NOW." Once the boys were on their beds, Janet walked out of their room and across the hall to her daughter's room, to her crib and she lifted her into the room.

"Shhh baby girl. Mommy's here." Janet whispered as she settled into the rocking chair. Janet rocked back and forth, rubbed Jocelyn's back as her tears fell. She felt like the world's worst mother.

Jocelyn ended up falling asleep for about an hour on her mother's chest. Janet didn't hear anything from the room across the hall and she knew the boys had fallen asleep which made her feel worse. She should have taken this time, to take a cat nap since all four of her children were sleeping but her mind wouldn't shut down so instead of resting she spent the next hour, with Jocelyn sleeping on her chest missing her husband and wishing things were differently.

A few hours later, Janet had ordered the boys' favorite dinner; pizza. She had some coupons and extra money saved and after the rough afternoon they all had, they deserved their favorite dinner. Pizza was the one and only meal that all three of them loved.

"Boys, I am really sorry for yelling at you earlier today."

"It's okay mommy." Jacob told her.

"No baby, it's not okay. Jocelyn has been sick and crying all of the time and mommy is just so tired."

"Daddy told us that we should have been quiet when Jocelyn was asleep." Josh explained. "Ow." He suddenly yelped. "Mommy, Jax kicked me." Tears filled his eyes.

"Jackson, you do not kick your brother. Tell him you're sorry."

"You told us not to tell you anything else that daddy says and Josh told you. I kicked him to stop cause I didn't want you to cry again."

"Oh baby, I shouldn't have said that. I was just upset. I am glad that you boys get to talk to daddy. Whenever you tell me something that daddy says it just makes me sad and miss daddy more when I you tell me about your dreams with daddy but don't stop. I want you to keep telling me about them." The boys nodded. "So what did daddy tell you this time?"

"He told us that we should have listened to you and been quiet so we wouldn't wake up Jocelyn." Janet nodded.

"He said that we should never ever say that we hate our sister. He said that was very bad." Josh said tearfully.

"It was bad but I understand why you said it and I know you didn't mean it."

"We're really sorry mommy." Jackson told her.

"And Jocelyn. We are sorry that we said we hated her. We don't hate her."

"I always knew that." Janet walked around to each chair and kissed each one of her boys. "I love you boys so much and I promise, things will get better."

"Yeah cause daddy is going to wake up soon." Jacob informed his mother.

"Did daddy tell you that?" The three boys nodded solemnly. "I hope your daddy is right."

"He is." The three of them told her confidently. Janet realized that if she didn't change the subject soon, she would start crying again.

"Okay boys, after you eat your pizza all gone, there is ice cream for dessert."

"Yay!" The boys began shoveling their pizza into their mouths.

* * *

"Hey guys, I'm home." Janet called walking into her house. Jocelyn was now four and half months old and the boys were six and out of school for summer break.

Jocelyn's colic disappeared when she was three and a half months old and after two very long months with a miserable baby things once again became tolerable. Jocelyn was only waking up one to two times at night for a feeding and once her belly was full, she fell right back asleep as did her mother. Since Janet was getting more sleep, she was less irritable with the boys. Since Jocelyn was getting more sleep and wasn't screaming constantly the boys actually hung around her. They loved to make her smile and laugh and whenever she laughed, they laughed right along with her. For the first time in months, everyone was happy in the Latekka household, or as happy as they could be without Eddie.

"Hey sweetheart." Sharon greeted her daughter.

"Hey mom. Where are the boys and Jocelyn?" Janet was used to the boys running up and hugging her if they weren't outside playing.

"Jocelyn is napping and the boys are laying in the living room."

"Are they sick?" Janet knew her boys never just laid around if they could be outside playing.

"They woke up with stuffy and runny noses and pretty much have just laid around all day. They actually napped for a couple of hours today."

"They are sick. My boys never nap. Any fevers?"

"I checked after they woke up from their naps and there wasn't any but they all have a cough which they didn't have before they fell asleep."

"What about Jake? Is his asthma acting up?" Jacob's asthma was always a concern whenever he was sick.

"He's been fine but I have his inhaler ready to go."

"What about Jocey?"

"She's fine."

"Well that's something at least." Janet put her purse down and went into the living room. She found Jackson in the recliner; Jacob on the love seat and Joshua on the couch. "Hey guys." She kissed each of their heads and they felt warm but not fever warm. Their cheeks were red so she knew a fever was forthcoming.

"I don't feel good mama." Josh told her.

"My throat hurts." Jacob added.

"I'm coughing." Jackson informed his mother.

"I know. I'm sorry that you don't feel good. How about a popsicle?" The three of them nodded and told her what color they wanted.

* * *

Since the boys were sick Janet decided to forgo the visit to the nursing home for the night. Instead, she, Jocelyn and the boys cuddled up on the couch and watched some movies. By the time the boys fell asleep for the night they all were coughing; Jacob and Jackson had a fever and Josh was wheezing so bad that Janet had to give him two breathing treatments.

The boys fell asleep early and in between coughing spells Janet actually enjoyed a relatively peaceful, night; something she rarely had anymore. She decided that since the boys' cough was worse when they were lying down, they were going to camp out in the living room. Occasionally, she and the boys would build tents out of blankets and camp out in the living room and they loved it but this night, they just wanted to sleep.

The next morning, the boys woke up feeling worse than they did the night before. If they were sick with a cold or sore throat, they were perfectly content staying home with Sharon but when they are really sick, the only person they want is their mom so Janet made three doctor's appointments and called off of work, something Nick was fine with. He had always encouraged her to stay home if the boys needed her. Thankfully, Jocelyn was fine and Janet was hoping that she would stay that way.

By eleven that morning Janet was back home with three sick boys diagnosed with bronchitis and a sinus infection. She had three prescriptions for antibiotics and cough syrup and another inhaler for Joshua and since it was Friday and they were going to spend the rest of the weekend vegging out in the living room, Janet stopped and rented them plenty of movies to keep them entertained. Janet wanted her boys to be as comfortable as possible so they could get better.

Like any good mother would, Janet waited on her boys every need. As a mother, she felt that by waiting on them when they were sick, she was contributing to them eventually getting better and the boys didn't take advantage of that. There were times over the weekend that they would ask for something but the other times, when they would attempt to fend for themselves, Janet jumped up and took care of it. On Saturday evening Laura and Jack offered to come over and hang out with boys so she could go to the nursing home for a couple of hours but she declined. Her boys were sick and she was staying with them; Eddie would not know if she was or wasn't there so she opted to say with the boys who needed her and thankfully by the time Monday rolled around, everyone was better.

Two weeks after the boys got sick the microorganism made its way over to and invaded Janet's body. She did go to the doctor and unlike the boys' bronchitis that was bacterial hers was viral and antibiotics wouldn't work. Her doctor recommended taking a few days and resting but Janet being the stubborn woman she was didn't take any time for herself to heal. She justified it to herself by telling herself she couldn't afford it. The boys had begged and begged and begged their mother to go to the local day camp because of their friends were going and even though it was going to cost her an arm and a leg, she relented; they deserved to have a little bit of fun. It wasn't a cheap experience and Janet had been saving for months and still had a hundred dollars to go so she needed to work. She wouldn't ask anyone for help because her family; Eddie's family and friends had already done so much and she had no intention of letting her children down.

Every day Janet showed up at work dosed up on cough syrup, sinus medication, decongestant, and cough drops in between doses of the cough syrup. Anytime someone would ask her how she was feeling, she lied and said that she was feeling better when she wasn't. She never told anyone that she could hardly sleep because she was coughing so badly or that whenever she coughed she wanted to cry because it hurt so bad or that whenever she moved to fast she had trouble breathing. She kept all of these things to herself but she wasn't fooling anyone. Nick tried to talk her into going back to the doctor; he hated to see her looking and feeling so miserable but she refused so he finally had enough. He called in reinforcements; Hannah.

"What are you doing here?" Janet asked with a cough when Hannah walked into Best Friend Windows. "Nick is out…at a site."

"I'm here to take you to the hospital."

"What? Why?"

"You are sicker than a dog Janet."

"I'll take a nap when I get off."

"You are way past a nap."Hannah had to pause while Janet coughed and when she finally stopped she had trouble catching her breath. "Honey, you can hardly breathe, and I can hear you wheezing from over here."

"I just can't leave work. I have a job to do."

"You absolutely can leave work. Nick knows I am here and what my intention is. Now you have two choices Janet."

"I am not a child Hannah." Janet wheezed and Hannah ignored her.

"Choice number one; you can come with me willingly. Choice number two; I can call Nick, Owen, Ikey, Tom and Jack to come over here and we will drag you to the hospital. Now what's it going to be?" Janet knew that Hannah was not kidding and even though Hannah had given her two choices she knew she really only had one.

"Fine. I will go willingly."

"Good girl."

An hour and a half later Janet was in a semi-private hospital room diagnosed with pneumonia. After arriving at the emergency room Janet was taken right back and immediately given two back to back breathing treatments. From there blood was drawn and a chest x-ray was done. It took no time at all for the radiologist to spot the pneumonia and once the blood work came back, Janet was admitted and started on IV antibiotics.

"This is really isn't necessary." Janet mumbled.

"Yes it is necessary Janet. You need to get healthy for your boys and Jocelyn. For over a year you have been playing mother and father while working a full time job, growing a baby and taking care of a colicky newborn. You have practically worked yourself to death taking care of your family but you forgot to take care of yourself." Tears began to fall from Janet's eyes.

"I know. You're right." Janet didn't even bother to argue. "I've done a really crappy job taking care of myself because the only thing I can think of are my children. They lost Eddie. I'm the only parent they have left and it's my responsibility to take of them."

"People love you and want to help."

"I've already taken too much charity. Eddie's parents are paying for the nursing home. My mom and Tom paid for an addition to the house and the remodeling of my old bedroom into a bedroom for Jocelyn."

"It's not charity Janet. It's family helping out family and you know damn well if the situation was reversed you would do the exact same thing."

"They boys want to go to the day camp. Do you have any idea how much it costs to send three boys to day camp? It's one fifty per child but I get a twenty five dollar discount for each additional child so it's costing me four hundred dollars to give my boys something they want. I have been saving every penny. Because of my maternity leave I don't have any more time off and that's why I have been working so hard. I need the money Hannah. I'm on food stamps so I can feed my family."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm ashamed."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are doing what is necessary to take care of your family." Janet nodded.

"Speaking of taking care of my family, I need to make arrangements for the kids since I can't get out of this place."

"Already done. Nick and I are taking Jocelyn. Ikey and Katie are taking Jacob. Your mom and Tom will have Jackson and Jack and Laura will have Josh and then we are going to rotate them. It will be fun and they boys will love it."

"Thank you." Janet whispered tearfully and Hannah leaned down and hugged her best friend. "Get some sleep while you can cause we will be bringing the boys back to visit." The patient nodded and closed her eyes. She really was exhausted.

* * *

Janet was in the hospital for five days which included the weekend. When she was released she had specific instructions to rest so Laura camped out to make sure her daughter in law followed all of the doctor's orders. Janet was so glad to be home. She was not a fan of hospitals. She has spent way too much time in her young life in the hospital as a patient when she was pregnant with the boys and Jocelyn and as a visitor with Eddie and even if that wasn't the case she wanted to be home because she missed her children.

"Hi Mrs. Latekka." Melissa, one of the nurses at the nursing home greeted when Janet walked into Eddie's room. She hadn't been to visit Eddie since she was in the hospital and since her family wanted her out of the house visiting Eddie gave her the perfect excuse to leave. Today was her birthday and the boys with the help of their grandparents were setting up a "surprise" birthday party. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes I am thank you." Janet's eyes drifted over to the bed. "How is our patient today?"

"Same as always." Janet bit her lip and nodded. "I was just getting ready for his sponge bath but I can come back later so you can visit."

"Actually, can I give it?" Usually Eddie has had his bath by the time she arrived for her visit.

"Absolutely. I've already taken care of his hair but haven't gotten around to shaving him yet."

"I can do it. Thank you."

"Yell if you need anything."

"I will."

Once the door was closed, Janet gathered all of the shaving supplies, sat on the side of the bed lifted his bed up to a semi-upright position, lathered him up and carefully shaved his three day old beard. Once his face was clean and smooth she removed his gown and lovingly washed his body with her hands lingering. It had been so long she has touched him so intimately and she missed the feel of his body under her hands. By the time she was done bathing him, she felt that some of emptiness that has been ever present wasn't as empty.

After discarding the bath water she put some of his cologne on, leaned forward, and cupped his cheeks in her hands. "I love you so much." She whispered before she gently pressed her lips to his. Just as she was getting ready to pull away she swore she felt his lips move against her. Gasping she pulled back, opened her eyes and found she was looking directly into the brown eyes that she hasn't seen in fifteen very long months.


	38. Chapter 38

Janet couldn't believe it. While kissing her comatose husband she felt movement beneath her own lips. She pulled back and looked into the brown eyes of her husband; brown eyes she hadn't seen in fifteen months. Dr. Weber had told her that there may be a sporadic movement that could include spontaneous eye movement and that's what Janet thought she was seeing because his eyes fell closed again and her own filled with tears. For a brief instant she thought he was awake. She reached out and cupped his cheek and his eyes opened again.

"Eddie? Eddie are you awake?" Janet whispered. He blinked and tried to speak but only a small sound escaped. "Oh baby, you're awake. You are finally awake." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his and kissed him again and his lips moved under hers; barely but there was movement. She pulled back and looked into those brown eyes again and she saw confusion.

"Baby, do you know who I am?" He gave a slight nod. Okay, that was a good thing. "Do you know where you are at?" He shook his head. "Do you remember that you had an experimental surgery for your brain tumor?" Nod. "There was a complication. During the surgery you had a stroke and have been in a coma ever since." He tried to speak again but only a gurgle came out. "We had to move you from the hospital to a nursing home and you've been here for fourteen months and unconscious for fifteen months." He shook his head again. "I'm going to go get a nurse." Janet stood from the bed, squeezed his hand and rushed from the room.

Eddie was confused. He heard what Janet had told him and it made sense to him but at the same time it didn't. The last thing he remembered was kissing her goodbye before he was wheeled into surgery. To him, it felt like it just happened yesterday; not fifteen months ago but he knew more than a day had passed. He saw it when he looked at Janet. She was different. She had changed. Besides the fact that her long curls were gone she looked older and sadder. She looked like a woman who has been through a lot. He wanted to talk to her. He had so many questions but he couldn't make his voice work. He wanted to touch her but his arms like every part of his body was so heavy and he couldn't lift them and he didn't understand why.

"Eddie it's good to see those eyes open." Melissa, the nurse greeted her patient.

"He can't talk. Is that because of the stroke?" Janet anxiously asked.

"I can't say for sure but it probably has to do with the coma. He hasn't used his voice box in fifteen months so Eddie you need to keep trying and you should be able to talk again soon." He nodded his head against the bed. "Now let's check you out." Melissa did a quick exam. She checked his pupils which were fine; she checked his reflexes which not present and then finally she checked his muscle tone in his arms and legs which was really lacking.

"Eddie things look good." Eddie tried to say something but it didn't work so he lifted his arm as high as he could which wasn't very far. "Along with your voice box you haven't used your muscles so the muscle tone has deteriorated. We worked your arms and legs and it helped but it wasn't enough. It's going to take some time and work, but eventually will get those muscles strong again."

"So he's okay?" Janet asked.

"Yes. He's fine. Now if you will excuse me I'm going to page Dr. Weber. I'll be right back."

"And I'm going to call your mom." Janet took a step and Eddie cried out and Janet rushed over to him. "What's wrong?" He darted his eyes towards the door and shook his head. "You don't me to go?" He shook his head. "I wasn't leaving you. I just needed to get my phone." Janet pointed to her purse. "It's right over there okay?" He nodded.

Janet stepped away from her husband and over to her purse. She grabbed her cell phone and called Laura's cell phone. "Hi honey." Laura greeted.

"He's awake." Janet said into the phone and the line became silent. "Hello?"

"Did you say he's awake?" Laura finally asked. "Eddie's awake?"

"He is."

"We are on our way."

"See you soon." Janet disconnected the call and returned to Eddie's bedside. She sat down and took his hand and for the first time in fifteen months Eddie held her hand back. "Your parents are coming with the kids."

Suddenly, Eddie had a flash or memory of his boys. They were swimming, fishing, riding roller coasters, playing at the park and many other activities. He remembered talking to them; telling them that he was trying to wake up and giving them messages for Janet. "Booo…?" He managed to get out.

"The boys?" He nodded. "The boys are perfect. They really have missed their dad. Every day they asked me if you were going to wake up. They are going to be so happy to see you awake." Eddie saw tears fill Janet's eyes and at that moment Eddie something else came into Eddie's mind.

"Baa…" He cleared his throat and tried again. "J…Jo…"

"Jocelyn?" Janet asked and Eddie nodded eagerly. "You know about Jocelyn?" He sent her a questioning look. He looked confused. "I had a baby Eddie; our baby. We have a daughter Jocelyn." Eddie squinted his eyes and Janet knew he didn't understand. "Do you remember our trip to Disneyworld?" He nodded. "Do you remember the alone time we had?" He nodded and this time he smiled. "We made a baby. We made the daughter you wanted." Tears fell from Janet's eyes. "You told me that if we had a girl you wanted her to be named Jocelyn Edith. She is six months old. She's beautiful Eddie. She looks just like you and I know she can't wait to finally meet you." Janet grabbed her phone and pulled up a picture of Jocelyn and showed Eddie his daughter for the first time and his tears fell.

"Are you okay Eddie?" Melissa asked walking back into the room. He answered her by darting his eyes towards Janet's phone. Melissa took a peek and smiled. "Oh yeah. She is a cutie but let me tell you, that picture doesn't do her justice. She is even more beautiful in person." Eddie smiled proudly through his tears. "And speaking of kids, your boys are also the cutest thing; absolutely adorable." Eddie looked at Janet's phone again and she knew he wanted to see a picture of the boys. Janet scrolled through her phone and found a great one of the boys. Janet held the phone up and Eddie gazed lovingly at the picture.

"They'll be here soon Eddie." He nodded.

"Dr. Weber is on his way. He is very excited that you are awake." She handed him a glass of water. "I know your throat is sore so drink this will help. Drink it nice and slow okay." Eddie nodded. Slowly and painfully he lifted the glass to his mouth. His arm was shaking so badly that he spilled half of it down his gown but he managed to get it to his mouth and sip some of the liquid and he grimaced in pain as he did so. "It hurts I know, but it will get better." He nodded. "Okay, I'm going to give you two some privacy. Let me know if you need anything."

"We will. Thank you."

As Melissa was walking out of the door, Janet began to fill Eddie in on the boys and Jocelyn. He was intently taking everything in. He was realizing how much he had missed and it was breaking his heart. He missed his boys' first day of school; his daughter's birth; things he would never get back but according to Janet she had lots of videos of his children's lives so since he wasn't there to experience it with them at least he could see it. Just from listening to Janet, Eddie knew Janet had been a great mom to their children in his absence. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"It's probably your parents and the kids. I'm going to go distract them for a few minutes so your mom and dad can see you."

"Noo." There was another knock at the door.

"Just a minute." Janet called and then she turned back to Eddie. "I know you want to see the kids but once they get in here no one else will have a chance to get to you and your mom and dad need to see you. Okay?" He slowly nodded. As badly as he wanted to see his children he knew Janet was right. "I'll be back soon." She quickly kissed him and went to the door. Before opening it she turned back to her husband. "I love you Eddie." He nodded in response and Janet knew that was his way, right now of telling her he loved her.

Janet stepped out into the hall and found Jack and Laura waiting anxiously. "Where are the kids?"

"Your mom and Tom are behind us. They should be here anytime."

"Did you call Katie?"

"We did. She, Ikey and Ashton are on their way."

"Go on in." Janet told her in-laws. "He's waiting."

"Thank you." Laura whispered tearfully and she and Jack walked into their son's room.

While waiting for the kids, her mom and Tom she called Hannah with the news. Of course, courtesy of Ikey she already knew and she was making sure that Eddie's friends would give Eddie, Janet and the kids' time together today and they would come and see him the next day. Janet thanked her and just as she hung up the boys ran up to her.

"Hey guys." Janet kissed each of the boys. "Let's go in the lounge and watch some cartoons." She told them.

"Nana said we were going to see daddy." Jacob said.

"We are but grandma and grandpa are visiting him now. We'll go see him in a little while okay?"

"Okay." Jackson answered for them and Janet ushered them into the lounge.

"We didn't tell them about Eddie waking up." Sharon whispered once they were settled. "Tom and I wanted you to be the one to tell them that their father is awake."

"Thanks for that. I figured you didn't tell them because if so, we wouldn't be sitting here right now."

"How is he?"

"Okay I guess considering he has been unconscious for the last fifteen months. He can hardly use his muscles and he is having trouble talking because his voice box has been unused for so long." Janet was silent for a minute, lost in her thoughts.

"Honey?"

"Mom, he knew about Jocelyn. He almost said baby and the first syllable of her name. Do you think the dreams the boys had about Eddie were true?"

"Maybe or maybe he heard you talking. They say that comatose people can hear those visiting them."

"I hope not because I said some pretty horrible things to him a few times."

"He won't remember that."

Five minutes later Katie and Ikey showed up. After depositing Ashton in the lounge with her cousins they went to join her parents. Fifteen minutes later, Dr. Weber showed up and Janet followed him into Eddie's room.

"Eddie it's been a long time. How are you feeling?" Dr. Weber asked his patient. Eddie nodded in response. "Well let's take a look." Everyone backed away from Eddie so Dr. Weber could examine him. Ten minutes later he came to the same conclusion as Melissa, the nurse did.

"Everything looks good. Now I am sure that you have some questions and I am going to do the best I can to answer them. During your surgery you had a stroke which in your condition wasn't a surprise. I injected you with a blood thinner right after the stroke occurred and the clot dissolved immediately so there shouldn't be any effects from the stroke. Do you understand everything so far?" Another nod. "Now as far as your brain tumors they are gone. You haven't had another one. Your history shows that within six months of removal your tumors returned and that hasn't happened so, medically, you are cured of your brain tumors." Everyone in the room smiled. "Now Eddie, do you have any questions?"

"H…h…home?" His voice was slowly coming back. Right now, he sounded as if he had a really bad case of laryngitis and was only speaking one word at a time.

"It's going to be awhile before that happens." Eddie looked crestfallen.

"Why? I thought he was okay." Janet spoke up.

"As far as the brain tumors he is fine but we need to get his muscles strengthened and for that to happen Eddie, you are going to need a lot of physical therapy. Tomorrow you're going to be moved up to the 3rd floor, the physical therapy floor. One of the therapists will be down shortly to discuss a plan that he or she will put together for you."

"How long?" Janet asked. "How much longer will he have to be here?"

"His therapist could tell you for sure but I would say at least another month." Janet nodded, afraid that if she spoke she would start crying. "Any other questions; any of you?" No one had any. "Okay Eddie, I will see you tomorrow."

A few minutes later, one of the physical therapists from upstairs came to talk to Eddie and the family. He laid out his very intensive plan of physical therapy. He estimated that it would take approximately six to eight weeks before Eddie would be able to come home. Eddie looked at Janet and saw the heartbreak all over her face and he felt horrible knowing he was the cause.

After the physical therapist left, Jack, Laura, Katie and Ikey said their goodbyes to their son, promising to return the next day, because they knew that Eddie, Janet and the boys needed to spend some quality time together as a family.

* * *

"Eddie, are you ready to meet your daughter?" Janet asked softly as she reentered her husband's room with Jocelyn after saying goodbye to Eddie's parents. Since Janet wanted Eddie's first meeting with his daughter to be just the three of them, Sharon and Tom were hanging out with the boys in the lounge.

"Yes." Janet walked over to the bed with six month old Jocelyn on her hip. Eddie's eyes widened the closer his wife and daughter got to him. "Eddie, say hello to your daughter, Jocelyn Edith." Janet set Jocelyn on Eddie's lap and she immediately laid her head on her father's chest. Painfully, Eddie lifted his hand and placed it on his little girl's head. Eddie looked at Janet with tears rolling down his face and he smiled.

"Beautiful."

"Yes she is. She looks just like her father." Eddie's gaze fell back onto his daughter who was watching him.

"Hi..." Eddie painfully swallowed. "Baby…girl." Jocelyn smiled at him and Eddie cried harder. He couldn't believe that he was looking at his daughter; a daughter he thought he would never have and instantly his heart filled with love for his precious baby girl.

"She…knows...me…" He sounded amazed.

"Of course she does. I have been bringing her here to see you practically every day since she has been born."

"Thank…you…" Now tears filled Janet's eyes.

"You are so welcome." Janet sniffed and wiped her eyes. "Now how about the boys? Are you ready to see them?"

"Please."

"Do you want me to leave her with you?" Eddie nodded. "Okay. Hang tight."

Janet returned to the lounge where she found the boys growing restless and she couldn't blame them. They had been told that they were coming to see their dad and so far that hadn't happened. She sent her mom and Tom in to see Eddie for a few minutes and she took the boys down to the cafeteria for a treat for being so good.

She decided to surprise the boys and she didn't tell them that he was awake. After they ate their treats, she took them back to their father's room. She opened the door and let them go in first but she was right behind them. She wasn't going to miss their reaction. Janet watched as Josh's eyes traveled to his father's bed. His eyes widened and then he froze but only for an instant.

"DADDY!" Josh yelled happily racing over to the bed followed by his brothers. "Daddy you are awake." He cried, throwing his arms around Eddie's neck. Jackson and Jacob inserted themselves next to Josh so they too, could hug their father. Even though, the pain was unbearable, Eddie lifted his practically useless arms and weakly hugged the three of them back while Sharon, Tom and Janet stood behind them with tears falling down their faces. It was the long awaited reunion that they had been waiting so long for.

"I'll call you tomorrow sweetheart. Enjoy your night." Sharon whispered handing Jocelyn, who she had taken away from Eddie right before the boys pounced.

"Thanks for everything mom." Janet kissed her and Tom and the two of them slipped unnoticed out of the room.

"You woke up daddy; just like you said you would." Jacob said.

"Hi…guys…" Eddie finally managed when the boys pulled back slightly.

"What's wrong with your voice?" Josh asked his voice full of concern for her father.

"Daddy hasn't talked in a long time…"

"Cause he was sleeping." Jacob inserted.

"Right so because he was sleeping he didn't talk and he lost his voice."

"Daddy you were sleeping for a really, really, really long time." Jackson finally spoke.

"I…know…"

"We really missed you." Josh quietly told Eddie.

"We were good and helped mommy just like you told us too."

"My…good…boys…" Eddie was so proud of his boys and it showed on his face.

Eddie couldn't be happier. Jocelyn was sleeping on his lap. The triplets were surrounding him and they were filling him on everything that had happened over the past fifteen months that their six year old minds could remember and between the three of them it was quite a lot.

Janet sat back observing her husband and children. Did she want time with Eddie herself? Of course she did but right now it wasn't about her. Her boys needed their father. She was adult and she would wait her turn for time with her husband and at this moment; seeing her boys happier than they have been in fifteen months was all that she wanted at that moment.

* * *

"All right boys. It's time to say goodbye to daddy." Janet had just returned from changing Jocelyn's diaper.

"Nooo." Three boys cried.

"Sorry guys but it's time to go."

"I don't wanna go." Jacob whined.

"It's almost your bedtime and you need to get your baths."

"We got our baths yesterday." Jackson whined.

"Listen…mom…" Eddie told them.

"Say goodbye to daddy." With sad faces the triplets hugged and kissed their father goodbye.

"We will see him in the morning." Janet reminded them.

"You will wake up in the morning?" Josh asked

"Yes."

"Promise?" Eddie nodded.

"Bye…boys." Janet saw Eddie swallow. "Love…you guys…"

"Love you too daddy." They told him and Janet shooed them off of the bed so she could say goodbye herself. She sat on the edge of the bed and took his hand.

"I am so happy that you are awake. I have missed you so much." Janet whispered and Eddie smiled. "Tomorrow is going to be a big day for you with lots of visitors so you need to get some rest."

"Not…tired….slept…too long." With a grin, Janet leaned forward and kissed him softly, relishing in the fact that this kiss was reciprocated.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She told him when they broke their embrace.

"I love…you." Tears filled Janet's eyes when she heard those precious words.

"I love you too."

* * *

By the time she got home, the boys were sound asleep in the van while Jocelyn just cooed happily. Once Janet got the baby in the house she made three separate trips out to the garage to carry the sleeping triplets in and up to bed, still fully clothed. She didn't have the energy to change them into their pajamas so she simply pulled their pants off and tucked them in bed. Once the boys were settled Janet changed and fed Jocelyn and then put her to bed as well.

Janet changed into her pajamas and went to lock up. She couldn't help but notice the partial decorations that were supposed to be for her birthday party. The dining room table was covered with crayons, construction paper, scissors and stickers and that's where she found the homemade birthday cards. With a sad smile Janet picked up and read the three cards from her boys. She loved the simple "Happy Birthday Mommy" and "I love you" along with the pictures. They were the best cards she had ever received.

She left the cards where they were so the boys could give them to her tomorrow and headed to bed herself; she was exhausted which was in part to her pneumonia. Janet knew that her birthday was forgotten because Eddie woke up and if there was a reason for her family and friends to forget about her birthday Eddie waking up is the best reason and she knew that if he knew the date, he would have wished her a happy birthday.

Exhausted, Janet climbed into bed knowing that in another two months her husband would be lying beside her again with his arms wrapped around her. She never considered the physical therapy that Eddie would have to endure and just assumed that he would be home soon after he woke up so learning that he wouldn't be home for another eight weeks broke her heart but after it had sunk in it wasn't as bad as she thought. He was awake andcoming home and that's all that mattered.


	39. Chapter 39

Eddie's heart ached as he watched his family walk out of the door to his room. He just got them back and wasn't ready to let them go. He was confused which is to be expected. He had been told that he had been in a coma for fifteen months but it felt and still feels like he was just taken into surgery. To him, it felt like yesterday not fifteen months ago. He remembers promising to play football when he got home; saying goodbye to the boys; telling them to be good; to take care of their mother when she got lonely and from what he was able to witness tonight the boys did as he had asked. He was so proud of them.

Jocelyn; his daughter. When he went into surgery he was the father of three boys. Today he woke up from surgery the father of three boys and one little six month old baby girl and he has missed everything. He missed the pregnancy; feeling her kick and move inside of her mother, something that he treasured with the boys. He missed her birth; her first cry. He missed out on the overnight feedings; her first smile, laugh, and tooth. He missed so much and even though Janet had pictures and video, he would never experience it first hand and that broke his heart. He vowed right then and there to do everything he could to make up for lost time. He owed his children that much.

Now Janet on the other hand, he wasn't sure if he could ever make up for lost time with Janet. He hated himself for checking out and leaving Janet on her own to raise and support their family. Underneath the happiness that he saw, she looked exhausted and he was sure she was. He couldn't imagine what it has been like for her raising their four children by herself. He wondered about her pregnancy. Her pregnancy with the boys was so bad and she had so many complications. He hoped that Jocelyn went easy on her and if she did have complications he hoped she had help. It should have been him. He should have been the one to help her.

As much as he loved his boys and as much as he wanted to get to know his daughter he wanted and needed to spend time with Janet. He wanted a chance to talk to her or let her talk to him. He wanted to know everything; the good, the bad and the ugly. He knew she was in desperate need of some one on one adult time with him. He wanted her to have a chance to vent if need be and simply relax in his arms. She looked as if she needed it and even though it felt like he just saw her yesterday, he was aching for her.

"Eddie would you like something to sleep?" His night nurse asked.

"No thanks. I think that I have slept enough to last a lifetime."

"You may think that but you need your rest so your body can heal."

"I'll try to sleep but I don't want a pill."

"I think that's a good idea. Do you need anything?"

"Can you lay my bed back?"

"That I can do." The nurse laid his bed back. "Welcome back Eddie and sleep well. Sweet dreams."

Sweet dreams. With those words his mind began to work again. He remembered having dreams about the boys; dreams where they were doing things together. During those dreams the boys would tell him about what was going on in their lives; in their mother's life. He clearly remembers the boys telling him about their first day of school, Christmas morning and their birthday. He remembers them telling him about their mom having a baby and then that they were going to have a sister, something none of them were happy about and finally he remembered being told that they hated their sister and didn't want her and what broke his heart the most was he remembered the boys begging him to wake up because they missed him so much and how miserable Janet was without him; she cried all of the time.

Lying in his bed, alone he wondered what those dreams were. He didn't think that they were actual dreams. Today when they boys were talking to him, they kept referring to what he remembered from those dreams and he knew things that had happened while he was in his coma like the fact that Janet wanted to dress the boys alike on their first day of school and he remembered telling them to tell her not to do it and according to the triplets that really happened. And Jocelyn; he knew about his daughter that no one knew existed when he had his surgery. It was something he couldn't explain and didn't know if he would ever be able to explain and at this point, the only thing that information was doing for him was breaking his heart and he cried himself to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Janet, the boys and Jocelyn were at the rehab center by eleven. Janet called when she woke up and was told that Eddie was being moved to his new room and wouldn't be ready until then. The boys were anxious and driving her crazy and since the entire house was up at eight it proved to be a long morning.

"Boys don't run." Janet had to jog with Jocelyn in her arms to stop the boys. "I said don't run. You know better than that."

"Sorry mommy." They mumbled.

"Now you stand right here and let me talk to the nurse to find out where daddy's new room is. You three stand here quietly and don't move. If you don't follow my directions you will be in time out. Do you understand me?"

"Yes ma'am." With one last serious look she turned to the nurse's desk.

"Can I help you?"

"My husband, Eddie Latekka was moved up here this morning and I don't know his room number."

"Sure. Eddie. Nice guy. He is in room three twenty four; the last room on the left."

"Thank you."

"But before you go, I need you to fill out some paperwork. Eddie is unable to do so." Janet shifted Jocelyn to her other hip and glanced at the boys who were losing fidgeting.

"Can I drop the boys off in his room and then come back. They are about to lose their minds."

"We have to have it submitted in the next fifteen minutes. How about I take the boys and your daughter down to see their dad while you fill out this paperwork?" Janet sighed. She realized that she didn't have a choice.

"Okay." Janet turned back to the boys. "You guys are going to go with Nurse Ashley to see daddy while I fill out some papers. You will walk quietly and listen to her and then to daddy okay?"

"Yes mommy." Janet handed Jocelyn over to Ashley.

"Thank you. Will you tell Eddie I will be down shortly?"

"I sure will. Come on guys." Janet turned to the paperwork in front of her and began to fill it out. After a few lines Janet was frowning because she swore she had just filled this out a couple of weeks ago but she was so exhausted she figured that she had it confused with another of the thousands of forms she had filled out for Eddie.

"All done." Janet told Ashley a few minutes later.

"Let me make sure we have everything we need." Ashley took the form from Janet and slowly looked over it. "Okay. Looks good. Thanks for doing this."

"Sure. No problem." With a smile, Janet walked to Eddie's new room. She was anxious to see him; to touch and talk to him.

"SURPRISE!" Janet had just opened the door and jumped back in surprise. Standing in front of her was her mom, Tom, Eddie's parents, the boys, Jocelyn and Eddie wearing big grins. The room was filled with birthday decorations.

"Happy Birthday yesterday Mommy." Jacob told her as he ran up to hug her followed by his brothers.

"We were so excited about Eddie waking up that your birthday was forgotten during the excitement." Laura told her daughter in law. "And that shouldn't have happened."

"It's okay."

"No sweetheart. It's not okay." Sharon said, kissing her.

"We are having a surprise party for you in daddy's room." Josh told her.

"It's wonderful."

"Did we trick you mommy?" Jackson asked.

"Yes you did. You really surprised me." Janet looked at the adults in the room. "I didn't need to fill out any paperwork did I?" Everyone shook their heads. "Well done." Janet hugged everyone leaving Eddie for last. She sat on the edge of his bed and he took her hand.

"I am so, so sorry that I didn't realize yesterday was your birthday." He looked utterly devastated.

"It's really okay Eddie. You waking up was first of all the best birthday gift I could have ever gotten and secondly, you woke up after fifteen months. Nothing is more important than that."

"Not true. You are important Janet and after what you have been through, without me for these last fifteen months, you deserve to be celebrated." Tears filled Janet's eyes and one fell. "Come here." She leaned forwards; he reached out and wiped it away. "Happy Birthday my love." He closed the distance between them and kissed her softly.

The kiss didn't last as long as either of them would have liked because there were three anxious boys waiting for their mom to open her presents from them. The Latekka boys loved getting presents but their parents had instilled in them that giving gifts was just as important and now because of that the boys were always just as excited about giving gifts as getting them and right now, they wanted their mom to open her presents that they had worked so hard on for her.

"Here mommy. Open your present. "Janet had just finished opening up the pictures with macaroni noodles, and anything else that they could get their hands on glued to the pictures. They were the best works of art Janet had ever seen.

"Okay Jax. Who is this from?"

"It's from all of us." Jacob answered.

"Who is all of us?"

"Me, Jax, Jake and Jocelyn."

"Well I wonder what we have here. It's really big." Janet slowly unwrapped a framed professional photograph of the boys and Jocelyn. The boys were all wearing jean shorts. Jackson was wearing a blue shirt, Josh was in green and Jacob was in red while Jocelyn was in a cute little jean dress with a purple shirt underneath it and all four of them had perfect smiles and of course, it brought tears to Janet's eyes.

"Do you like it mommy?" Josh asked.

"I love it sweetheart." Janet sniffed.

"Then why on earth on you crying?" Jacob asked and the room laughed.

"I'm crying because I am very happy."

"Then you should smile not cry." He informed her.

"You right Jakey. I should smile." She smiled and then looked at her mom, Tom, Jack and Laura. "I'm not sure who is responsible for this but thank you so very much."

"It was purely selfish." Laura told her with a grin. "We also got these pictures for our houses." Janet stood and hugged all of them.

"Thank you."

Next Janet was given a gift from their parents. They all went together and got her a day pass for two for a spa. The only requirement was that she is supposed to take Hannah with her. Of course she argued with them; telling them it was too much but as usual they insisted that it wasn't and Janet finally gave in. Once that was settled Jack slipped out into the hall and returned with flowers.

"These are for you Janet." He handed her the bouquet of Lilies.

"They are beautiful." She whispered. She hadn't gotten flowers in a very long time not since before Eddie fell into his coma and she missed the surprise bouquets.

"It's the best I could do on short notice." Eddie spoke up.

"They are from you?" Of course they were from him. He knew how much she loved Lilies. He nodded. "Thank you so much." She had tears in her eyes. "I've missed getting flowers from you." She set the flowers down on the table next to his bed, leaned over and kissed him.

"Now that I am back, you'll get flowers again." He told her when they broke apart.

"I don't need flowers now that I have you back."

"You'll get flowers."

"We'll see." As much as she loved the thought she couldn't help but thinking how expensive flowers would be.

"Cake mommy. Can we have birthday cake now?" Jackson asked.

"Sure baby. We'll have cake." Sharon lit the candles; the room sang happy birthday to the strongest woman they knew and the triplets blew out her candles.

* * *

By the time late afternoon rolled around the boys were going stir crazy and Jocelyn was cranky. The boys had been inside too long and had become antsy and since Eddie had so many visitors the boys didn't have Eddie's undivided attention didn't help the situation so Janet decided to give the boys a break and if she was honest with herself, she was tired of sitting and watching everyone else except her spend time with Eddie so feeding the boys was the perfect excuse not to watch anymore.

Even though Eddie didn't want Janet and the kids to leave it was a good thing because it gave him a chance to talk with his parents and friends about how things really have been for Janet. He hasn't really had any time alone with her so they could really talk and he needed to talk with her. Regardless of what she said he knew things hadn't been easy for her; he could see it in her body language and he wanted to know everything and he also knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't be honest with him. She wouldn't lie to be mean. She would lie to protect him.

"So now that she is gone, tell me how Janet really is doing?" Eddie asked the room.

"Better now that you are awake." Owen answered.

"How were things for her while I out?" Eddie noticed the looks that passed between his parents, Owen, Nick, Hannah, Phil, Ikey and Katie. Finally, Laura spoke.

"It was hard but you know your wife; she did what had to be done and she did it well." Eddie knew that his mom was being honest but she was sugarcoating it.

"She is different."

"Of course she is son." Jack told him. "She has been without you for the last fifteen months so she had no choice but to change."

"The sparkle is gone from her eyes." The first thing he noticed when he woke up was that her long beautiful curls were gone. The second thing he immediately noticed was her eyes. He remembered her blue eyes were always bright and shinning with love and happiness. Now when he looks into her eyes they are dark and sad. "I know these last fifteen months have been hard on her and she will never tell me what really went on so I need you guys for that. I need to know." The room was silent. They knew he Eddie was right; Janet would never tell him how much she struggled; she wouldn't want him to know how hard these last fifteen months had been for her but they also knew that Eddie did need to know and he wouldn't relent until he knew everything.

"It was really, really hard for her Eddie." Hannah finally spoke. "She was devastated, heartbroken, pregnant and alone with three confused and heartbroken boys but she did what she does best. She stepped up to the plate and did whatever it took to take of you and her family."

Over the next hour Eddie's family and friends told Eddie about the last fifteen months had been like for Janet and the kids. Hearing how much Janet struggled emotionally, physically and financially broke his heart again. Even though he had no control of falling into a coma he felt guilty and vowed to do whatever it took to make it up to his family.

* * *

"Be good. Do you hear me?" Janet asked the triplets. Unknown to Janet Eddie had asked/begged his parents to take the boys home for the night so he and Janet could finally spend some time alone together. Of course, Eddie didn't have to beg, Jack and Laura loved having their grandchildren. So when Janet returned they offered to take them for the night.

"Yes ma'am." They replied in unison.

"That's mommy's good boys. Now give me a hug." Janet squatted down and the three boys and then walked over to her in-laws. "You guys don't have to take the kids."

"We want to. For over a year every Saturday night we have had the kids so you could be alone with Eddie so why should that change just because he is awake and besides honey, you are the only one that hasn't spent any alone time with Eddie."

"It's okay. I know that he is a popular guy right now."

"You and Eddie need some alone time together." Jack insisted.

"Do you guys have enough breast milk, diapers and clean clothes?"

"We have plenty of everything." Janet thanked them and went to retrieve Jocelyn from her father's arms. She kissed her and handed her to Laura.

"Bye baby girl. Momma loves you." Janet said kissing her daughter's fuzzy head. After a chorus of goodbyes, the door to Eddie's room shut and the kids were gone.

"Alone at last." Eddie quipped and Janet grinned.

"Do you need anything? Are you hungry; thirsty?"

"What I need is my wife over here with me and not across the room." Eddie had the sense that Janet was nervous being alone with him.

"I can do that." Janet walked over, grabbed a chair, sat next to his bed and grabbed the remote. "I think that there is a Sox's game on. There are quite a few new additions since you last saw a game. So far this season they are two games back and they have a very…"

"Janet." He interrupted. "I don't want to watch the game."

"Ummm okay. We can watch something else. What sounds good?"

"I don't want to watch television. I want to talk. I've been awake for two days and we have hardly talked."

"That's not true. We have talked a lot."

"About the kids. I want to talk about you."

"I am the most boring topic of conversation." She knew he wanted to know about her life while he was unconscious and she wanted to tell him. She wanted him to know everything she went through, the tears, the loneliness, the exhaustion; everything but she couldn't tell him. She couldn't put that on him. He would feel incredibly guilty and she didn't want that. She wanted his recovery to be as guilt free as possible. She wanted him to put all of his energy into becoming mobile again so he could come home.

"I don't think so. " Eddie struggled to push himself to the side of the bed. "Come." He requested, patting the empty side of the bed but she didn't move. "Janet look at me." She slowly turned her eyes to Eddie. "You have been on the backburner since I woke up. We are finally alone and I want to take advantage of this time."

"I don't think you are physically ready for that Mr. Latekka." Janet told him with a grin.

"Unfortunately, you are right about that. God, I wish we could have sex right now but that's going to have to wait. What I want to do is talk. I want to hear from you about your life; not the kids' lives but your life over these last fifteen months so please…join me."

"I've already told you about the past fifteen months."

"Yeah. You have told me about what our kids did over the last fifteen months. I want to hear about you; what you went through and how you felt."

"There is nothing to tell Eddie. I missed you like hell. It was hard to raise our kids without you but I did it and you are back and everything will eventually return to the way it used to be."

"No baby. When I come home it won't be the same. Neither of us is the same person we were fifteen months ago. I lost that time; a huge chunk of time in your life and the boys' life; I missed my daughter's birth. I will never be the same man and you…for fifteen months not only were you the mother and wife but you had to be a father and husband so you will never be the same." Finally Janet moved but instead of joining him on the bed she went to the window. "Why won't you talk to me?"

"It's in the past Eddie." She mumbled. "I am so happy that you are finally back with us and I want that feeling to last." Eddie decided to get straight to the point.

"I know what you went through after my surgery." Janet didn't turn. She didn't want Eddie to the tears filling her eyes.

"No I don't think you really do."

"Yes I do. While you took the boys home for dinner, I asked how things were for you and I was told."

"Since you know then why are you asking me?"

"Because I want to hear it from you sweetheart."

"Why Eddie?" Janet snapped whirling around. "Why do you want to hear how sad and miserable I was when Dr. Weber told me that you were in a coma?

"Because I love you and I want to hear it from your mouth what it was like."

"Fine. You want to know. I will tell you." She snapped through her tears. "When I found out you weren't going to wake up, I was terrified because I needed you. I needed my husband and our boys needed their father. I didn't think I could do it without you."

"But you did and Janet you did a hell of a job."

"When I found out that I was pregnant;" Janet sighed. "I was really, really pissed off at you."

"Why? Because I wasn't here?"

"That but the main reason was I never wanted another baby. I told you that. It was you that wanted another baby and suddenly I was pregnant with a child that I did not want." Janet saw a look of horror cross Eddie's face. "That look on your face is why I didn't want to tell you." She told him with tears rolling down her cheeks. She knew her husband would hate her for speaking those words; having those thoughts.

"I knew that's how you felt; mom and Hannah told me. I'm sorry. I guess knowing and hearing are two different things."

"That feeling didn't last long and I got over it quickly but I was scared. The only thing going through my mind was my pregnancy with the boys. It was so hard. There were so many complications. I couldn't have gotten through it without you. You were in a coma so I didn't know if I could do it without you and then I started thinking about the post partum depression I had with the boys. You were the one who saw it; not me. I was terrified that it would happen again and no one would know it."

"Janet, baby, come over here." He told his crying wife. This time she didn't argue. She wanted to be comforted by him. She had held these feelings in way to long. She climbed up on the bed next to him, buried her head in the crook of his shoulder and cried. Eddie simply ran his fingers through her short curls as she cried it out.

"I'm sorry." She sniffed when she finally calmed down. "You don't need this."

"Stop it." He chastised. "For the last fifteen months you have been the strong woman taking care of four kids. It's time that you let someone; me take care of you."

"I was so overwhelmed." She admitted. Hearing that he wanted to take care of her was all she needed to let it all out. "Besides all my fears about the pregnancy in general I was worried about the money or lack of. I had just found out that I was pregnant and then Dr. Weber told me that you couldn't stay in the hospital; that I had to move you here. Our insurance would only cover half of it and my half was pretty pricey." Janet's tears began to fall again. "I didn't know how I would pay for it; everyday necessitates and then to top it off I had another baby coming and nowhere to put her."

"I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you." He and Janet were a lot alike in the sense that they felt responsible for taking care of their family and they both had trouble accepting help.

"Without our families, I couldn't have done it. Your parents paid for you to stay here and my mom and Tom remodeled our house so Jocelyn would have a room."

"That's what families do Janet. They take care of each other."

"And they did. They really took care of me. I did end up with post partum depression again but it was a given considering the situation and this time it was obvious to everyone. When Jocelyn was two days old she was placed into my arms and I started crying and couldn't stop. I missed you so much and you were missing so much. You should have been there and you weren't. I was alone with a newborn and terrified."

"Did the medicine help you like it did the last time?"

"The first week home was rough. I was exhausted. It took everything I had to get out of bed and not cry. By the second week I was much better and I was practically normal. The next week I was on my own and after some adjustments, I was able to manage things on my own."

"And then you went right back to work."

"Yes I did."

"Three weeks sweetheart? You only took three weeks off?"

"Do you think that I wanted to do that Eddie? Do you think that I wanted to leave my…our newborn baby girl? I didn't have a choice. I couldn't afford to take any more time off of work. Our children depended on me. I had to work."

"I didn't realize how bad things were for you." He mumbled, instantly feeling guilty.

"Things were fine before…"

"Before I checked out."

"Yeah; before you checked out. We had three kids, my paycheck, your paycheck and your profit check. Then you were gone along with your paycheck and I was pregnant. I had medical bills and then the boys started school. I had to buy school clothes, school supplies. Once Jocelyn was born, I had more expenses; diapers, baby clothes all of the time because she is growing so fast, baby food and then there was food in general. You have no idea how much food three boys can eat. I had to start getting food stamps Eddie." Eddie knew the look that Janet was wearing.

"Baby, you have nothing to be ashamed of. "

"I know that in my mind but heart tells me different. I ignored my heart and I did what I had to do to make sure our children had want they needed and most of what they wanted. Your profit check wasn't a guaranteed amount of money; some months were small and others were decent but it wasn't enough. Our utilities all went up; our property taxes were increased, hell baby, everything has gotten more expensive. Gas is ridiculous and I am using more gas than before driving out to see you every night so I worked. I worked as much as could. I did it for our children."

"So much so that you put yourself in the hospital with pneumonia?"

"Is there anything that you weren't told?"

"I don't think so."

"Normally when the boys were sick with something simple they and me were okay with them staying home with mom but they all got pneumonia so I had to stay home with them and I had no vacation time so when I got sick, I took an afternoon and went to the doctor. I was diagnosed with viral pneumonia that antibiotics wouldn't help. He told me that I needed to stay home and rest until I got better. "

"But you didn't because you didn't have any paid time off left."

"Exactly. I had our family to support."

"You are always taking care of everyone else but yourself."

"I ended up in the hospital and then home to recuperate."

"And you ended up in the hospital only after being forced to go by Hannah." Janet nodded miserably. "Oh baby why did you let it get so bad? I hate the thought of you in the hospital."

"I've told you. I couldn't afford to take time off. The boys want to go to day camp; they want to go so bad and it's four hundred dollars. I had to come up with the money. They have wanted so many things over these past fifteen months that I haven't been able to give them so I had to give them camp. I have let them down so much and I couldn't bear to do it again." Eddie lifted Janet's heartbroken, tearstained face up to his.

"You have been the best possible mother to them. Don't think that you haven't been."

"You haven't been here. How would you know?"

"Because I know you Janet and I know that you are the best mother that our children could ask for and Nick, Hannah, Mom, Dad, your mom and Tom all told me the exact same thing but they didn't have to. I know you sweetheart."

"I just feel like I haven't been there for the kids as much as I should have been. I'm not there when the boys get home from school. Jocelyn is with my mom all day and then our evenings are spent here with you."

"Was there ever a time that the boys of Jocelyn needed you and you weren't there for them?" Janet shook her head. "That's what counts. The kids won't remember that you were not there to greet them at the door when they got home from school. They will remember that you were there when they needed you. For example, I can guarantee that they will always remember the week they are going to spend at day camp that you worked so hard to make happen for them. That fact right there Janet is what makes you a great mom." He just told her the same thing that everyone had been telling her over the past fifteen months but hearing from Eddie made her finally believe it.

"I've missed you so much Eddie."

"I know baby. I know." He reached out and softly caressed her cheek. "I'm so sorry for leaving."

"You didn't have a choice. You…" He placed a finger in front of her lips.

"I will make it up to you. Every minute that I was gone, I will make it up to you. I promise you that." Eddie took his finger, traced her lips and then slowly brought his own lips to hers. They shared a long overdue passionate kiss until they could no longer breathe.

"I've missed that." Janet whispered as she settled herself against him.

"I want a list from you tomorrow."

"What kind of list?"

"A list of everything that I missed during these last fifteen months."

"That can be a very long list." Janet said with a smile.

"I don't care how long it is. I just want a list of what I missed; things that you wish I was there for."

"Why?"

"I told you, I have a lot of things to make up for."

"You don't have to make up for anything. You just need to concentrate on getting stronger so you can come home."

"I'm going to get stronger. I promise you that. Just make the list for me okay?"

"Okay."

"Are you going to stay the night?" He could see that she was exhausted.

"I would like that. I've missed sleeping in your arms." Eddie reached out, grabbed the blanket and tucked it around Janet.

"Sleep my sweet Janet." He kissed the top of her head. "I love you."

"I love you too." She mumbled and five minutes later she was sound asleep, wrapped in her beloved husband's embrace.


	40. Chapter 40

Eddie woke up first the next morning. Janet was still sleeping soundly with her head on his chest and an arm wrapped around his abdomen. She was snoring softly and there was a damp spot on his shirt from drool and he loved it. He thought the snoring and drool was adorable. Gazing down at his sleeping wife he thought everything about her was adorable. This morning was the first time since he had awakened from him coma that he has seen his wife look perfectly relaxed. He wished that he could watch her sleep all day and he hated to wake her from her relaxed, peaceful state but his bladder had other ideas and if he didn't empty his bladder soon, it would empty all over the bed and Janet.

Eddie leaned over and pressed his lips to Janet's forehead. She sighed and snuggled closer to him but never opened her eyes. Gently he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and ran a finger across her cheek. "Sweetheart, it's time to wake up." He mumbled softly. Her eyes fluttered open and focused on him. "Good morning beautiful." He watched as tears filled her eyes. "Janet, what is it?"

"It's been so long since I have woken up in your arms. It's been so long since your smiling handsome face was the first I saw. I have missed it so much." She sniffed as a few tears slid down her cheeks. Janet lifted her head, and pressed her lips to her husbands'. "Yes. I have missed waking up this way." She told him when they broke apart.

"Put that on your list."

"You were serious about that list?"

"Dead serious. I want you to make a list of everything that you missed while I was comatose and everything I missed."

"It's going to be a very long list."

"Make the list. The sooner the better."

"If you insist."

"Now as much as I love lying here with you I have to pee."

"I'm sorry." Janet climbed out of bed. "Let me get your nurse."

"Nah. Just hand me the urinal thing on the counter please." Janet did as he asked.

"While you take care of your business, I will take care of mine."

"Hurry back."

"I love you." Janet told him from the bathroom door.

"I love you too." More tears fell as she shut the door. It was so good to hear those three words from him again.

An hour later, they had just finished breakfast. After calling and checking on the kids and making sure they were fine the two of them were talking, cuddling and kissing on Eddie's hospital bed. They had about forty-five minutes until Eddie's physical therapist came down to begin his morning exercises.

"Did you sleep well?" Eddie asked once Janet settled back into his arms.

"I haven't slept that good in a very long time."

"I'm glad."

"I had the best dream. I dreamt that you were home."

"Soon baby. Soon. I promise." Eddie kissed the top of her head. "Speaking of dreams I think that I had some very realistic crazy dreams when I was in my coma. I mean, I think that they were dreams but they were so real. I remember spending time with the boys doing everything that they love. They told me everything that was going on with them and with you. I remember telling them things to tell you. I told them to remind you to change the oil in the van and not to dress them the same on their first day of school."

"This makes no sense Eddie but they weren't dreams."

"I figured that I must have just imagined it."

"No baby. I don't think that you did. I can't explain it but somehow you and the boys shared these dreams. They would wake up in the morning and tell me about what you guys did and they would give me your messages. On their first day of school, I dressed the boys identically and they told me that you didn't want them dressed alike so I changed them."

"Really? Are you serious?"

"Every single day."

"They must be how I knew about Jocelyn." Eddie began to nod his head. "Yeah, I remember. At first the boys were not pleased but I told them what an important job big brother's have; they have to protect their little sister and they loved that. Did Josh call her Josh-Lynn?"

"He did. He thought they had the same name. He loved it and it took weeks to get him to say Jocelyn instead of Josh-Lynn."

"Wow."

"I think it really helped the boys. They felt connected to you while you were in your coma."

"I…I don't remember any "dream" with you." He admitted sadly.

"Neither do I and honestly, I was jealous of the boys. They were so excited to go to sleep every night because they knew that they were going to see you and I wished, just once, that I would get to spend a night with you in my dreams."

"I'm sorry baby."

"It's not like you had any control of it and most of the time, I loved hearing about their adventures with you."

"Most of the time?"

"One day, the one year anniversary of your coma, I was sad, very tired and short on patience. Jocelyn was a colicky baby and I had been up most of the night with her. I had just gotten her to sleep and the boys were playing like little boys should play. They were yelling and running around. I told them to keep it down or they would wake their sister. I suggested Candy Land and that didn't go over so well. The stormed upstairs, slammed the door and woke her up. I was so frustrated. I yelled at them and started crying. They told me not to cry and then started to tell me something you told them during one of your dreams and I told them that I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want any more messages from you." Janet's voice was shaking.

"Honey, your reaction is understandable."

"We all took a nap and when we woke up I splurged and ordered pizza, apologized and took back what I said. I wanted to hear about their time with you. They were so happy whenever they told me about their dreams and I couldn't take that away from them. I wanted them to be happy."

"And they wanted you to be happy."

"Sometimes, it was just so hard." She admitted softly. "Especially when Jocey was colicky. Even though I was exhausted and I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for days I couldn't. I just had to keep going for our family."

"How long did the colic last?"

"Three very long months."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you."

"Baby, quit apologizing. It's not like you had a choice in the matter."

"I…missed so much." Janet sat up.

"I brought Jocelyn's DVD."

"Jocelyn's DVD? Our six month old daughter has her own DVD?"

"She sure does. She is the perfect little star." Janet climbed out of bed and pulled the DVD from her purse and held it up. "Wanna watch your daughter make her entrance into the world?"

"My daughter?"

"She was very stubborn during her birth so that makes her your daughter."

"Prove it because I don't buy for a second that our sweet precious baby girl is stubborn." Janet popped the DVD in and then climbed back in bed next to Eddie.

"Just watch."

Jocelyn's DVD began with Janet's second visit to her OBGYN and ever other visit after. Janet recorded both of her ultrasounds and her baby shower that she didn't ask for. After the shower, they watched the very long labor that Janet had to endure. Janet was embarrassed that Hannah had caught her threatening Eddie.

"Really? You were going to beat me back into a coma when I woke up?" He asked with a grin.

"I was in pain and it was your fault. You knocked me up."

"Is the time right on the video?"

"It's exactly right."

"Then you at this point you have been in labor for eighteen hours."

"Twenty six hours total."

"No wonder you wanted to beat me back into a coma."

"What did I say? She is stubborn just like her daddy."

"Do you still want to beat me back into a coma?"

"Nah. I got over it."

"I'm glad." They resumed watching the DVD and when they saw Jocelyn born Eddie had tears rolling down his cheeks.

"She looks like the boys did." Eddie commented.

"I see you. The only thing she has from me are her blue eyes. She looks so much like you; more than any of the boys do and that was the hardest thing for me. Every time I looked at her all I could see was you and you weren't here." Eddie wrapped an arm around Janet and held her tightly.

The end of the DVD included most of Jocelyn's first; her first dirty diaper; her trip home from the hospital; first bath; first doctor's appointment; first shots; first story that her mom read to her; and any other first that Jocelyn experienced.

"Thank you for this Janet. It helps that I was able to see the important moments of Jocey's life."

"I did it for me as much as you. By taping, well most everything, I had to believe that you were going to wake up." By this time, they both had tears falling down their faces. They looked up at each other and wiped the other's tears away and then shared a slow, sweet kiss until there was a knock at the door and they reluctantly pulled apart.

"Sorry to interrupt." Alan, Eddie's physical therapist said as he walked into the room.

"It's okay." A slight blush rose on Janet's cheeks and she climbed out of Eddie's embrace and the bed.

"Are you ready to get started Eddie?"

"Let's do this so I can get home to my family."

"I'm going to run home to shower and grab a change of clothes while you do your exercises."

"Stay please." Eddie requested.

"I need a shower."

"No you don't. You look perfect just the way you are." Eddie's brown eyes were pleading. "Please baby, I'm not ready for you to leave yet."

"Okay. I will stay but you can't complain if I start smelling bad." It was impossible to resist those brown eyes.

"Thank you." Alan noticed a tender look pass between the couple. "And while I am working, you have your own work to do."

"I do?"

"You have a list to put together."

"Yes sir."

Two hours later Janet completed the requested list and Eddie was an exhausted sweaty mess. They had really worked his legs in an attempt to build up the muscle and it was a lot of hard work since he hasn't moved his legs in over a year.

"I could really use a shower right now." Eddie grumbled, wiping the sweat from his forehead once Alan left. Eddie had avoided any grumbling while in the presence of his physical therapist because Alan wouldn't put up with it. "I am so sweaty. It's nasty."

"Since you are no longer in a coma you can give yourself a sponge bath." Janet informed him.

"Or maybe you can give me one."

"Why would I do that? You are perfectly capable of doing it yourself."

"I'm not sure how to do it. I think I need you to show me."

"Well I have become very proficient in giving you sponge baths over the last year."

"See? I need your expertise."

"I would rather it be me giving you pointers then one of the beautiful nurses."

"Were you the only one to bathe me during my coma?"

"No but you were unresponsive then. Now, not so much."

"There is no woman here that is more beautiful than you are meaning that you are the only woman that I will respond to."

"I will give you a sponge bath on one condition."

"And that would be what?"

"That from now on either you bath yourself or I do. No one else can have their hands on your naked body."

"Deal." Eddie agreed with a mischievous grin. That deal benefited him on every level.

After letting the nurse know her plan, Janet locked the door, found and filled a basin with warm water and set it on his tray along with his shaving supplies and clean towels and washcloths. Eddie sat up as far as he could go and while Janet raised the bed to support his back. "Do you require a shave sir?"

"Yes Ma'am I believe I do." He ran his hand over his two day old beard. Slowly and gently, Janet lathered his handsome face up with shaving cream. "Be careful. Don't cut me."

"This ain't my first rodeo cowboy."

"Oh really? How many other men have you shaved?"

"Only you baby; lots over the past year but it was a lot easier when you weren't flapping your jaw. Now hush!" Eddie obediently shut his mouth and allowed Janet to remove him of his facial hair.

"Nice job." He said, checking his clean shaven face out in a small handheld mirror.

"I'm glad that approve. Now take off your shirt."

"Aren't you at least going to buy me dinner first?" Without any warning, she yanked his shirt up over his head. "I'll take that as a no." With a wink, Janet wet the washcloth down, soaped it up and slowly began rubbing in over his upper body, taking in every hitch of breath and every reaction that came out of him.

"I bathed you two days ago and you didn't respond at all. Today is different. I can feel you responding under my fingers."

"I am definitely responding. I love the way your hands feel on me. I always have."

"I've missed your hands on me."

"Is that on your list?" She nodded.

"All done."

"No you're not. My lower half needs bathed." Janet's eyes dropped to his waist where his ever growing erection was present and accounted for.

"I guess you're right. Am I going to have to remove your shorts?"

"I would appreciate that. I am not very coordinated yet."

"Lift your butt for me." Using his forearms he lifted his butt up and carefully, pulled his shorts off. This time as Janet washed his legs she massaged them as well. "How does that feel?" She asked when he groaned.

"Amazing."

"Looks like I have one more body part to wash."

"Hmmm." Eddie's eyes were closed and he was resting his head against the bed. Gently, she washed his manhood, smiling as Eddie let out a small moan. Deciding to take advantage of his vulnerable state, she returned the washcloth to the basin and replaced it with her hand. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

Their mouths opened and their tongues sought out and found the other and made up for lost time. As their tongues stroked each other, Janet began to stroke Eddie's desire for her. Eddie increased the intensity of the kiss and pushed his hips up into her hand. Her hand on him felt so good and he wanted her to feel good too so he surprised her and slipped a hand up her shirt to cup an aching breast. She pulled back in surprise, smiled softly at him before returning her mouth to his where they continued to stroke and caress each other until Eddie's body suddenly jerked and stilled at the height of his release. Reluctantly, he pulled his hand out of her shirt, cupped both her cheeks and continued their kiss.

"Thank you." He whispered breathlessly when they finally broke their kiss.

"It was my pleasure." She answered.

"No it wasn't. I think I was the only one who got any pleasure out of that."

"I made you happy. That is always pleasurable for me." Eddie reached out and grabbed the hand that she was using to clean him and her up with. Since they were clean, he put the washcloth back in the basin.

"I promise you that when we get home, I am going to make you happy over and over and over again."

"I like the sound of that." They shared another kiss. "I learned something from this experiment today." She told him as she got out of bed and found him some clean clothes.

"What's that?" He caught his clothes in mid air.

"Seeing and experiencing you r reaction I learned that no one except you can give you your sponge bath."

"You. You can give me my bath."

"No I can't. Giving you your bath has left me all hot and bothered. Trust me, if you weren't here right now I would be having my way with you so you are on your own buster."

"Janet I am…"

Stop." She interrupted. "Don't say you are sorry. I don't want to hear it. You have nothing to apologize for. Now get dressed. The kids will be here soon."

"You've gotten really bossy."

"I'm a mom. That's what we do." With a wink, she disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Eddie alone to dress.

"Care to give me a hand?" He asked when she returned a few minutes later. He had his tee shirt on and was struggling to get his shorts and boxers on.

"I already did that." With a smile she returned to his bedside and assisted him. Once he was dressed, Janet climbed up in bed beside him and turned on the television and found a baseball game. They didn't talk and Eddie absentmindly toyed with her short curls so Janet knew he had something on his mind. After a few innings she muted the television and turned to look at him. "What's wrong baby?"

"Janet what about if my tumors come back? What if my surgery, my coma, the time lost was for nothing?"

"I don't think that they will. Like Dr. Weber said, your tumors were always back within six months. This time we have gone fifteen months tumor free. I don't think that they are coming back."

"I can't do it again. I can't live like I did before my surgery. I was so much pain all of the time. I was miserable. That was no way to live. I wasn't a husband or a father. I was just existing, waiting for the pain to stop."

"Baby, I don't think that you will have to do it again. I think that your tumors are behind you; behind us."

"But what if they aren't? What if they come back and I…?"

"Then we will deal with it like we did before.'

"You shouldn't have to deal with my brain tumors."

"What part of in sickness and health that we promised each other in our vows was unclear to you Latekka?" He smiled sheepishly. "We can't live with "what if" Eddie. That will do no one any good. I've always known that life is short and you never know when it will end for you or someone you love. With your tumors and coma, it really hit home that I could lose you or anyone at any time so whether you die next week or fifty years from now I want to live everyday to the fullest and living with "what if" won't accomplish that. Does that make sense?"

"It makes perfect sense." The couple gazed into each other's tear filled eyes. "Every day to the fullest. It sounds perfect." Eddie leaned over and kissed his wife.

"Mommy! Daddy!" The door to Eddie's room burst open and the triplets ran in ending their tender moment. They broke apart as the boys climbed up on the bed, knowing their alone time was now over. It was time to focus on their family.

* * *

"Goodnight. I love you." Eddie whispered into the phone.

"Goodnight. Sleep well baby. We will see you tomorrow night. I love you too." Sadly, he hung up the phone.

Janet and the kids left a few hours ago and he had been overcome with loneliness since and he wouldn't see them again until the next evening since they had to return to their lives. Janet had to go back to work, the boys were starting their summer day camp and Sharon was going to watch Jocelyn. He knew that Janet had to work. He knew that the boys had to start the camp that Janet worked so hard to make sure that they could go but knowing all of that didn't make it suck any less. He missed his family and wanted, more than anything to be home with them.

Replacing the phone in its cradle he noticed the folded piece of paper that Janet had set there earlier; her list. He had forgotten all about it. Turning on the bedside lamp, he reached for the paper and opened it.

_Things I missed about you  
__YOU  
Your smile  
Your touch  
Sparkle in your eyes  
Your eyes  
Your Voice  
Waking up & falling asleep in your arms  
Conversation  
Kissing  
Making love _

_Things you missed  
__Jocelyn – pregnancy, birth, first six months  
Triplet's 6__th__ birthday  
Our anniversary  
Christmas  
The boys' first lost tooth  
The boys' first day of school  
The boys' Christmas & Spring school programs  
Kindergarten graduation  
Night time feedings  
Three months of colic  
Diaper changes  
Bottle feedings  
Bathing the kids  
Reading bedtime stories to the kids  
Getting the kids ready in the morning  
Saturday morning breakfast in bed with the kids  
So much more that I can't even think of…_

Eddie vowed to himself to make up to Janet everything that she missed about him when he was gone and he vowed to somehow experience everything that he missed in his kids' lives…one way or another. He owed his family that.


	41. Chapter 41

Over the next six weeks, Janet, the boys and Jocelyn returned to their normal routine before Eddie woke up from his coma with a few small changes. Janet went to work every day and her mom came over and stayed with the kids. After work and dinner Janet loaded the four kids up in the van and drove to Mission Flats to spend a couple of hours with Eddie. Now that he was awake they ended each night with Eddie reading a story to the kids; something they really missed. When the triplets started school Eddie called them every morning before they got on the bus to tell them good morning and wish them a good day and when they got home from school, they called and told their dad about their day.

While his family went about their normal day Eddie remained at the rehab facility doing his physical therapy. He spent three hours in the morning and three hours in the afternoon working on rebuilding his muscles and when he wasn't in the physical therapy room, he was in his room doing exercises on his own. The only time he wasn't working his muscles was when his family was visiting him. He was working himself as hard as he could so he could get home to his wife and kids.

The closer he got to the six week mark of returning home, the more everyone got excited and the more determined Eddie got. He wanted to be walking when he went home. Janet had spent over a year taking care of everyone but herself. Now, it was time for her to be taken care of by him and it was time to for him to take care of his kids and give his wife a well deserved break and honestly, he missed the domestic life. He couldn't wait to be a dad and husband again.

* * *

"Hey baby." Janet greeted walking into Eddie's room. He turned around and smiled.

"Well hello there sweetheart." Grabbing his cane, he walked over to his wife and kissed her softly.

"How is the packing going?" Eddie was finally going home today and had been packing up the last of his things since he returned from his physical therapy appointment.

"Not bad considering you have been packing all week."

"What can I say? I'm excited to get you home."

"I can't wait to come home." Eddie wrapped an arm around Janet's waist and kissed her long and hard until they were both breathless.

"Yeah, I can't wait to get you home." Janet mumbled. Eddie laughed and pulled away from her while he still could.

"Where are the kids? Does your mom have them?"

"The boys are in school and Jocelyn is with my mom."

"Why did you send the boys to school?"

"Because I want some time alone with my husband in our home." Eddie grinned.

"What exactly do you have in mind?"

"You have no idea how horny I am." She whispered. Eddie's eyes widened in shock at her statement but before he could respond Dr. Weber knocked and walked into the room.

"Eddie, how are you?"

"Good. Anxious to get home."

"I'm sure you are."

"You have no idea." Eddie said, glancing at Janet.

"Let me do one more final exam so you can get out of here. Have a seat." Eddie went and sat on his bed and Dr. Weber did his final exam. "Any more headaches?"

"Not since my last one a few weeks ago that ibuprofen took care of."

"Like, I told you then, it was most likely a normal every day headache. Your MRI from last week came back clean. No tumors. We will continue to do an MRI every six months just to make sure that no tumors have resurfaced."

"What is the chance of that happening?"

"Janet, I can't answer that for you. I have no idea but I am very optimistic. It's been almost two years since I removed the tumors and none have resurfaced."

"So it's just a wait and see game?"

"Unfortunately, yes but I believe that it's a game that we are going to win." Janet breathed a sigh of relief. "Now, Eddie you are going to need continue to take the medication that you have been getting here twice a day. I will send you home with a prescription."

"Got it."

"Call my office on Monday to set up an appointment for a month. I want to see you once a month. If you have any problems between now and then don't hesitate to call me; either of you." The couple nodded. "Do either of you have any questions?"

"What about if I get another headache? How do I know that it's not another tumor? Should I call if I get another one?"

"In the past when you had your tumors what were those headaches like?"

"Horrible. Unbearable."

"Did ibuprofen work?"

"Never even touched it."

"Can you tell the difference between the headache you had a few weeks ago and your tumor headaches?"

"Yeah. There is a big difference between the two."

"That's how you know. If you get what you think is a tumor headache call me right away and we'll get you an MRI."

"Okay."

"Well everything looks good. I will sign your discharge papers and you can go home." Eddie stood and shook Dr. Weber's hand.

"Thank you for saving my life."

"Thank you for allowing me to perform surgery on you. Because of that, many people with tumors similar to yours are going to live so thank you Eddie."

Dr. Weber signed the discharge papers right away but it took another half an hour before they were able to leave. Eddie was a very popular patient so he had to say goodbye to all of the nurses and Janet wanted to stop on the first floor, where he had spent fifteen months unconscious and say goodbye and thank those wonderful nurses. They took such good care of him and they were good to her and the kids that Janet just couldn't leave without hugs.

"Are you hungry?" Janet asked once they were in the van on the way home.

"Starving. The food there leaves something to be desired. It sure isn't your cooking."

"I didn't have time to cook this morning so will Sully's work?"

"Sully's sounds great." Janet reached over and took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "I have been dying for a bacon cheeseburger and onion rings."

"You always have a craving for bacon cheeseburgers and onion rings."

"Give me a break. I haven't had Sully's in a very long time. I deserve it."

"Of course you do." Janet told him with a laugh.

They ended up spending a couple of hours at Sully's. Everyone was thrilled to see him return to his old stomping ground. Everyone came over to their table to talk and catch up with Eddie. Even Sully stepped away from the bar to come and sit with his favorite former bartender and favorite patron. Their food got cold because of all of the talking and laughing that they did but the cold burgers and onion rings was worth it because to Eddie and Janet it meant that their lives were complete again.

* * *

"Welcome home baby." Janet said when she pulled the van into the garage. She looked over at Eddie and tears filled her eyes. "I am so glad that I finally got to say those words." Eddie leaned over and wiped her tears away.

"I'm home Janet and I am never leaving again."

"Promise?"

"Yeah baby, I promise." Eddie confirmed his promise with a kiss.

"Come on. Let's go inside."

When they got in the house, Eddie walked slowly just taking everything in. Everything was the same yet at the same time things were different. He stopped at the fridge and examined the drawings and pictures that hung there. The boys' drawings were better than they were before his coma; he could actually tell what they were supposed to be as opposed to the ones before his coma, they were hard to figure out. Among the handmade drawings there were pictures scattered throughout. There were the boys' school pictures from last year; Jocelyn's six month pictures; pictures of the boys and Jocelyn together and separately that Janet had taken. It just reminded him just how much he missed.

"We didn't have these baby toys in the living room last time I was in here." He commented when he entered the living room.

"We didn't have a baby when you were last in here."

"Technically we did. We just didn't know it."

"You're right."

"Speaking of the baby, where is Jocelyn?"

"After I got the boys off to school, I took her to my mom and Tom's house. She is going to bring her home when the boys get home from school."

"How did you manage to get them to school today? I assumed that they would have been home."

"They didn't know that you were coming home today. All I told them if was you were coming home soon. If I would have given them an exact date, they would have driven me nuts! I never would have gotten them to school today and I really wanted some alone time with you. So speaking of alone time, would you like to see our bedroom?"

"Oh yeah." Janet took him by the hand and led him to their bedroom which wasn't here before his coma. He walked in and whistled.

"This is nice." He commented as he took in the large, airy room. It was beautiful and totally Janet. He knew it was decorated to suit her tastes. His favorite part of the room was the small gas fireplace. "I can't wait to put that to use this winter."

"We have our own bathroom too with a Jacuzzi tub that I haven't put to use yet."

"We will definitely have to change that. Won't we?"

"I'm planning on it."

"Okay, maybe it's my coma or stroke talking but I don't remember our bed being that big."

"It wasn't. Once the room was done, Mom decided that our bed was too small for this big room so she fixed it with a king size bed."

"Nice."

"Do you like it?" She asked, motioning to the room.

"I do. Do you?"

"I love it. Now, I think it's time that we see what this bed is capable of?" Janet began to unbutton her shirt.

"You really horny aren't you?" Eddie dropped his cane on the ground and took off his tee shirt. He was just as horny as she was.

"The last time I had sex was when I got pregnant with Jocelyn so yeah, I'm horny." She slid her shirt off her shoulders and on to the floor. Her jeans quickly followed. "Need some help with those jeans Mr. Latekka?" Without waiting for an answer, she strutted over, removed his jeans and showed no shame as she ran her eyes over his naked body. He wasn't nearly as muscular as he was before his coma but he still looked mighty fine.

"See something you like?" Janet licked her lips.

"Yes. Definite liking." She pulled him down to her and kissed him soundly while rubbing her hands over his nakedness.

"No fair." He groaned pulling away from her. "Allow me to help with this." He slipped his arms behind her back and quickly unhooked her bra. His eyes widened in pleasure as her breasts tumbled free from their confines. With a grin he reached out and began to caress them. Janet's eyes closed in response.

"They are bigger than I remember."

"Milk." She explained.

"Right." He leaned down and placed kisses on them and Janet was lost in the wonder sensation. She placed her hands on his head to hold him there.

"Bed." She managed to whisper after a few minutes. She grabbed a hand, led him over to the bed and gently pushed him down. "Back against the headboard." She demanded and he quickly complied. She slipped off her underwear and climbed in after him.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered. Janet straddled his thighs and cupped both of his cheeks in her hands.

"I love you." She told him just before her lips pressed to his. Before she broke the kiss, she sank down onto his erection.

"Oh…God." Eddie groaned. "So tight."

"It's been a long time." Janet rocked her hips and Eddie groaned.

"Just so you know, this is all about me and what I want which is you."

"Have at it baby. Whatever you want…take it. You deserve it."

Janet didn't need to be told twice. She placed her hands on his shoulders as his hands drifted down to cup her butt. Staring into his eyes she began to move. She began slow but it didn't take long before slow just wasn't cutting it. She needed more; she needed to feel more of him inside of her so she increased her pace. It had been so long that she has been intimate with him that she was desperate. She didn't need or want any foreplay at this point. She just wanted him and she was getting exactly what she needed. She and Eddie moved frantically until she tightened and cried out in pleasure with Eddie following right behind her.

"Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?" Eddie asked the woman who was snuggled up next to him. He leaned over and gently kissed her lips.

"Have I mentioned how happy I am that you are home?"

"I think I realize that." Janet laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes. Eddie began to run his fingers through her short curls.

"I have missed this. I have missed what we just did…a lot."

"I'm starting to think that you only missed my penis and what it does for you instead of me." He joked.

"I'll admit it. I really missed your penis." Eddie burst out laughing.

"I knew it."

"More importantly, I missed you too. I don't want you to think that I only missed the sex."

"I know sweetheart."

"Can I tell you something?" She asked softly, running her fingers through his chest hair.

"Of course you can."

"There were times; a lot of the time, I would be lying alone in bed thinking that you weren't coming back to us. I thought that you would either never wake up and the kids and I would live in limbo or I was terrified that I was going to get a call that you had a massive stroke and died. I didn't want to be without you. I knew I would never be the same if I lost you but I'm an adult and eventually would have adjusted. What scared me the most was our kids being without you. I know what it's like to lose a dad and I didn't want that for them."

"That was my biggest fear; leaving you and the kids. Thank God, I was only gone for fifteen months instead of the rest of your lives."

"It was the longest fifteen months of my life but I would do it as many times as necessary as long as it meant that you were here." Janet sniffed.

"I need to ask you something." He told her.

"Okay."

"Please be honest with me."

"You know I will."

"No matter what you say, I won't get mad okay?" She nodded against his chest. "I know you were lonely and horny while I was in my coma; you have told me as much" He felt Janet smile against his chest and he took a deep breath. "Was there…did you want to see anybody else; someone to take care of you?"

"Never." Janet answered immediately, without hesitation.

"Come on Janet. There had to have been some long lonely nights where the thought of someone else crossed your mind?" He was only half joking.

"Not once. Sure there were so many long lonely nights but the only person I thought about; ached for was you. You may not have been physically with me but you were still my husband in every way that counts. On our wedding day I made a promise to love and honor you through sickness and health. Your coma was a sickness and I kept my promise."

"I'm sorry I asked. I just needed to know."

"Don't be sorry. There is something else you should know."

"What's that?"

"Even if you were in a coma for fifteen years or if you would have died nothing would have changed. There never would have been anyone else. My heart, soul and body belongs to you…always."

Eddie adjusted his body, slightly rolling to the side and pushing Janet onto her back. He covered her body with his and hovered over her. "I love you." He whispered tenderly as he lowered his face to kiss her.

When he finally broke their kiss his lips traveled down to her neck where he placed soft, feather like kisses there that made her giggle softly. He inhaled her scent; the scent of Janet and nothing that ever hit his nose smelled as sweet. He missed that smell of his wife. His lips continued to travel down to her collar bone, breast bone and continued until they found her breasts. Janet moaned softly as his lips and hands caressed her breasts. She had missed his hands on her; his rough hands from years of manual labor against her soft skin created an amazing sensation that drove her wild.

Eventually and reluctantly, Eddie moved his lips lower. As much as he was enjoying her wife's breasts there was something else he wanted to enjoy. He moved to her belly and paid special attention to her bully button. He knew all of her sweet spots and hoped they hadn't changed since his coma. The instant his tongue darted into her belly button, Janet gasped and began to laugh; just the reaction he was hoping for. Her belly button was one of her most ticklish spots and whenever he teased or tickled near or around it no matter how sensual they were being, she would burst out laughing and this time, after fifteen plus months was no different.

"Stop." She gasped through her laughter.

"This doesn't feel good?" He darted his tongue in her belly button which made her laugh harder.

"Eddie." She giggled, pushing his head away from her stomach.

"Okay. I understand what you want."

With a grin Eddie continued his journey down to Janet's most intimate part. She gasped when he made contact; first it was just with his finger but he soon added the oral stimulation she was craving and she very quickly came to an orgasm which was too fast for Eddie's liking. Janet deserved more and he was going to make sure she had everything she deserved and more. He continued to pleasure her until she came apart with a cry of joy.

"Oh baby." She mumbled as Eddie kissed her way back up her body. "I've missed that."

"So have I." He told her with a kiss. "Roll over on your side." He rolled off of her and onto his side and she did the same.

Knowing what he had in mind Janet placed her leg behind his lower back and he pushed into her. Eddie stilled for a minute and looked deeply into Janet's blue eyes and then with a tender smile he pressed his lips to hers. One hand went around to the back of her head so he could hold her close to him while the other hand went down and cupped her butt. One of Janet's hand mimicked Eddie's and she curled it into his hair and her other hand ran over his back as they shared slow kisses.

Eddie began to move slowly inside of Janet. His thrusts matched the tone of the slow tender yet passionate kisses that they were sharing. Earlier when they made love it was about pure need now it was about being as close to each other as they could be. Janet's breasts were crushed up against Eddie's chest which just added to their pleasure. The couple clung to each other as they slowly worked their way to ecstasy. The closer they came to their goal, slow wasn't enough. Janet whispered for Eddie to go faster and he eagerly complied. Janet dug nails into his back; Eddie dug his fingers into her butt so hard he was afraid that he was that he was going to leave bruises on her but he couldn't help himself. Suddenly, Janet cried out his name and tightened around him and that sent him over the edge. He grunted, cried out and spilled himself inside of his wife.

As they came down from their orgasmic high, the laid next to each other, shared some soft, sweet, tender kisses and words of love. Eventually, Eddie slipped out of Janet and rolled over onto his back, taking her with him so she was lying on top of him.

"Welcome home." Janet whispered softly.

"That was one hell of a welcome home."

"The first of many."

"I know that it's a little late to be concerned with this but should I have used a condom?" Janet giggled onto his chest.

"Yeah it is a little late."

"Is there a chance you could get pregnant again?"

"My OB/GYN is still flabbergasted by the fact that I got pregnant with Jocelyn. My endometriosis was and still is really bad. My last appointment before we went to Florida was a check for my endometriosis and my fallopian tubes were full of endometriosis. He actually wanted to schedule another D & C to clean me out when we got home but I never got around to it and then found out I was pregnant so there is no rational explanation for how one of your sperm managed to make its way up my fallopian tube to find my egg. You must be the owner of super sperm."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"To answer your question soon after you woke up in anticipation of this moment, I went and had an IUD put in. Four children is quite enough." Eddie was silent and Janet suddenly panicked. She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry baby. I guess I should have talked to you about birth control."

"It's okay. I understand. You were very adamant about not having any more kids after the boys and I knocked you up and then fell into a coma and left you alone to go through your pregnancy and the first six months of our daughter's life. Our family is perfect exactly the way it is."

"Do you mean that because if you wanted another baby, I would consider it?"

"Be honest with me Janet, do you want another baby?"

"Honestly, no." She answered without hesitation. "I love our four children but four is a lot and since there are four of them and it's so hard to give them the time and attention they all deserve. Another reason is the money. I have struggled so much finically over the last fifteen months and had to deny the kids some simple pleasures and if we had another child to the mix then we won't be able to give our kids what they need and probably not be able to provide fun things that they want."

"You just said that you would consider it if I wanted another baby?"

"And I would. If it's something that you really want I would consider it."

"Thank you for that baby."

"Do you want another baby?"

"No I don't. Like you I am perfectly happy with the way things are right now." Janet smiled her beautiful smile at him.

"Right now is perfect but in an hour, things are going to get crazy when our four children get home. Are you ready for it?"

"Bring it on. I'm ready. I can't wait."

"Before that happens, I need a shower. Care to join me?"

"I think I can manage that."


	42. Chapter 42

"What would you like for your first meal home?" Janet asked Eddie who was sitting in the living room with Jocelyn on his lap. Sharon had dropped her off fifteen minutes ago and she went straight to her daddy's arms.

"That's a loaded question. There are so many delicious meals that you make that I want to eat."

"All in good time babe." Janet sat on the arm of the chair next to Eddie. "In anticipation of your return, I have the makings of most of your favorite meals so pick one and slowly but surely, we will get through everything you want."

"What do you think little one?" Eddie asked his daughter. "What does daddy want for his first dinner home?" Jocelyn cooed, giggled and smiled at her dad. "Really? That sounds good to you?" More cooing. "Okay bay girl. I'll tell her." Eddie looked at Janet. "Jocey recommends tacos."

"Tacos. Really?" That was the last requested meal she expected. "Why tacos?"

"I haven't had a good taco in a long time and besides the boys love them don't they? Do they still like tacos?" At that moment Janet knew why Eddie chose tacos. It was one of the boys' favorite meals and he wanted them to enjoy his first meal home as much as he was going to.

"Yes. The boys still like tacos. In fact, they love tacos."

"Good. Can we have tacos?"

"I believe that can be arranged."Janet leaned down and pressed her lips to his until she heard the sound of the boys' bus outside the house. "The boys are here." She stood up and took Jocelyn and walked towards the door. "Prepare yourself." Thirty seconds later the door flew open and the boys raced inside.

"Hi mom." That was Jackson.

"Hi mama." That greeting came from Jake.

"Hi mommy." And the last greeting came from Josh.

"Hi boys. Go put you backpacks away and I'll get your snack."

"Yes ma'am." They replied and ran upstairs. Eddie was impressed on how well the triplets behaved.

"They didn't even see me."

"They will. It's nothing personal. As far as they are concerned you are still in the hospital. They had no reason to look around here. Why don't you come into the dining room in a few minutes while they are having their snack?"Eddie grinned.

"Count on it."

"I'm glad you're home."

"Me too babe."

A couple of minutes later the boys bounded back down the steps and into the dining room where Jocelyn was strapped into her highchair and there were three glasses of milk set out with a Twinkie next to each glass. Every day after school Janet allowed them a "junk food" treat; either a Little Debbie snack or Twinkies with the latter being a favorite.

"Yipee. Twinkies." Jacob cheered. The boys found their seats.

"Excuse me but isn't there something you need to say?" She asked as they were opening their treats.

"Thank you." They said at the same time.

"You are very welcome." At that moment Eddie walked into the dining room.

"DADDY!" Josh was the first one to see his father Jackson and Jacob looked up from their milk and Twinkies and the surprised look on their faces was priceless. Twinkies were quickly forgotten as the boys ran over to Eddie.

"You're home."

"I sure am Josh."

"I'm Jake."

"I knew that." Eddie smiled at his son so he would know that he was being teased but Janet knew, by the look on his face that he had actually mixed up the two boys up which is actually easy to do considering she did it herself often. Eddie glanced at her and she sent him an encouraging smile, letting him know it was all good.

"Do you have to go back to the hospital?" Jackson asked.

"Nope. I am home for good." Six arms were wrapped around his legs and Eddie ruffled the tops of each of their heads. "I'm home boys." Janet wiped her eyes at the site before her. Their lives were finally complete again. Daddy was home.

* * *

"Hi boys. I'm home." Janet called walking into the kitchen from the garage. She didn't have everything for the tacos so she had to run out to the store and left the kids with Eddie. It was so nice to be able to leave the kids home and go to the store in peace. She actually enjoyed her trip to the grocery store.

Setting the groceries down she glanced out the window and saw Jocelyn sitting on the deck in her bouncy seat and Eddie and the boys were in the yard tossing a football around or more accurately, Eddie was standing in one spot while the boys threw him the ball. They all looked like they are having a blast.

"Hi guys." She walked out on the deck.

"Hi mommy."

"Hi honey."

"We're playing football."

"I see that. Are you having fun?"

"Yeah." Just then, Janet noticed the clothes the boys were wearing.

"Why are you still wearing your school clothes?" The boys froze and looked at the ground. "Well?" They didn't answer her because they knew better than to play outside in their school clothes. "Get inside and put on your play clothes and you better hope your school clothes aren't ruined."

"Sorry mommy."

"Go." They ran past of her into the house.

"What's the big deal about play clothes?" Eddie asked.

"They ruin every pair of clothes they own with food, mud and grass stains or ripping them. They are rough on their clothes and I can't afford to replace their ruined clothes and I will not have our boys going to school looking like scrubs."

"I'm sorry Janet. I should have made them change."

"You didn't know. Last time you played outside with the boys they weren't in school."

"Now I do know and I promise that it won't happen again." Janet walked out into the yard and wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest. He immediately wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on top of hers.

"You being home have made the boys so happy." She mumbled.

"How about you?"

"It has made me very happy. Grocery shopping was so great."

"Really? Grocery shopping was great?"

"Yes because I was alone." She lifted her head and looked at him. "You have no idea what a pain it is to shop with four kids. Today, it was peaceful." Eddie lowered his head and kissed her softly.

"Ewww. Gross." The boys cried and their parents pulled away from each other.

"See what I mean? Peaceful." Eddie laughed as Janet returned to the deck and Jocelyn. "Jocey and I are going to cook dinner."

"Jocelyn is too little to cook dinner." Josh informed her.

"I know. She is going to keep me company. You boys have fun."

"We will." Eddie assured her with a grin. "Come on boys. Let's throw the football."

* * *

Janet was in heaven. She was actually in the living room and all of them expect for Jocelyn who was in her swing napping, were playing on the WII and they were having fun. Because Eddie helped her with the after dinner cleanup it went much faster than it normally did. When she was without Eddie, the after dinner cleanup took forever because she had to stop every few minutes because one of her children needed her for something. Tonight when one of the kids needed something she wasn't the one who had to stop and take care of whatever it was and if she did then Eddie could continue to work on kitchen cleanup and it got done quickly and now, she was relaxing and enjoying her children, something she hadn't been able to do in a very long time.

"We won. We won." Jackson taunted his parents. "We beat the pants off of you."

"You have had more practice than I have."

"Let's do it again." Jacob said.

"Janet." Eddie hollered from their bedroom. "Come here please."

"You boys play the next game. I'll be right back." Janet left the boys and went into their bedroom. "Eddie?"

"I'm in here." He answered from the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" She walked into the bathroom and gasped. There were glowing candles everywhere and the bathtub was full of bubbles.

"I'm fine." He told her with a grin.

"What is all of this?"

"I know you haven't had a lot, well actually any time for yourself and now that I am home, that is going to change. I have made up a bath for you and it's time for you to relax and do a little homemade pampering."

"This is so thoughtful."

"You deserve it. The kids and I are going to hang out while you just relax."

"The boys need their bathes."

"I can handle that."

"Are you sure?"

"I got it babe. Now let's get you in the tub before the water gets cold." He reached out, pulled her to him and shut the door to keep out any unwanted intruders. Janet reached for her shirt but Eddie stopped her. "Allow me." With a tender smile, Eddie slowly removed Janet's clothes and then helped her into the tub.

"Ahh. This is wonderful; just perfect."

"I'm glad you like it." She motioned Eddie down to her and willingly complied with her request.

"I love it and I love you. Thank you so much." She sat up out of her wonderful bath, closed the short distance and kissed him softly. "I have the best husband in the world."

"That you do." He grinned proudly and turned to the bathroom counter grabbing a book. "I took this from your night stand." He told her, handing her the book. "It doesn't look like you have gotten very far." Her book mark was placed in the beginning of the book.

"I haven't. Every time I try to read it, I just ended up falling asleep."

"Well read now and don't fall asleep."

"I won't."

"Mommy, Daddy, Jackson isn't letting me have a turn." Jacob whined from the other side of the door.

"I will take care of that. You enjoy yourself sweetheart."

"I'm planning on it." Eddie turned on the jets, turned on the music and left her in peace and quit to relax; she deserved it.

An hour and a half later, Janet finally got out of the tub and wrapped herself up in her big fluffy rub. She was thoroughly relaxed and not once did she worry about the kids. She knew they were in excellent hands; they were with their dad.

Heading upstairs Janet could hear Jocelyn crying. It was her bedtime and she was tired. When she got tired, she cried. Before rescuing Eddie went into the boys' bathroom to check on them.

"Having fun?" They all nodded. They still loved bathing together but they were getting bigger and probably wouldn't fit in the tub together for much longer. "Ready to get out?"

"No." Janet reached into the water.

"Tough. The water is cold. It's time to get out." Reluctantly the boys climbed out of the tub. "Now please, go put your jammies on."

As the boys went to the room to dress Jocelyn's cries increased in intensity. She followed the cries into Jocelyn's bedroom where Eddie was struggling to dress her on the changing table.

"Need some help?"

"She is squirmy and mad at me. I forgot how hard it can be to dress an unhappy baby."

"Welcome to my life." She walked over to the changing table. "Allow me." Eddie gratefully stepped aside and watched in awe as Janet easily diapered and dressed their daughter.

"Wow."

"You'll get the hang of it again."

"Or this is a sign of things yet to come." He smiled. "Maybe this is the first of many battles between our daughter and me." Janet laughed.

"Good point." Janet picked up Jocelyn. "Shhh. I know you are hungry. Mommy will feed you." Janet positioned herself in the rocking chair and removed a breast from her robe. Jocelyn eagerly latched on.

"That's amazing." Eddie whispered.

"It really is. This is my favorite time of day to nurse her. I love it when she falls asleep in my arms." Eddie leaned down and kissed Jocelyn's head.

"You are such a great mom."

'You're not such a bad dad yourself."

"Well in that case, I better go wrangle the boys in bed."

"Tell them I will be in to tuck them in." Eddie walked out of Jocelyn's room and then paused outside to listen as Janet sang a lullaby to their daughter. It was a beautiful sound.

"Are you okay?" Eddie was limping down the stairs after everyone was tucked in and sound asleep and Janet was concerned.

"My legs are killing me." He grunted his way down the steps. "The physical therapists said this would happen." He explained once he collapsed on the couch. "I haven't been on my legs this much since I woke up and that's why they hurt. The more I walk, the less the pain I will have. I'm still building my muscles back."

"What can I do?"

"Honestly, I'm exhausted. I just want to take one of my anti-inflammatories and go to bed." Janet could tell he was tired so she went and got him his medicine. He gratefully accepted it. "I will be so glad when I don't have to take medicine anymore."

"I don't think that's going to happen."

"Yeah. I know." Dr. Weber had told them that Eddie would have to be on the medication for the rest of his life to inhibit the tumor growth. If he didn't want brain tumors he would have to stay on the medication.

"I know you that you are tired but…" Janet straddled Eddie's thighs; hovering over them because she didn't want to add to his pain by sitting on his lap.

"But what?" He asked with a grin.

"Well, I was wondering if you had the energy to make out for a little while?"

"I think I can muster up the energy." As Janet leaned down to kiss him Eddie reached behind her and slid his hands under her shirt. Kissing her while he ran his hands over her soft skin was pure perfection.

"I love you." She whispered just before her lips met his in the first of many kisses.

* * *

Janet and Eddie were curled up together sound asleep when a cry came through the baby monitor. Jumping Janet sat straight up. "What?" Eddie grumbled sleepily. "What's wrong?"

"It's one of the boys." She quickly untangled herself from Eddie and climbed out of bed. "I'll be back.

Before Eddie could respond she was rushing out of the room to their crying son. Janet knew all of her kids' cries very well and the cry coming from the boys' room was a scared cry. Someone is having a nightmare. Entering the room, she found Jackson, her toughest little man, sobbing on his bed.

"Mommy." He cried. Janet rushed over to his bed and pulled him into her arms.

"Did you have a bad dream?" He nodded into her chest. "Do you want to tell me about it?" He shook his head. "Okay honey. It's okay. Mommy's here."

"I…want…daddy."

"I'm here Jackson." Eddie couldn't just stay in bed and listen to Jackson cry. He thought of all the nightmares he had probably missed during the last fifteen months and he couldn't miss another.

"Daddy." Jackson broke away from Janet and threw himself into his father's arms.

"Mommy?" Came a voice from the other side of the room. Janet left Jackson and Eddie and crossed the room.

"It's okay Joshie. Go back to sleep." Janet whispered, kissing his head.

"What happened?"

"He had a bad dream. Go back to sleep honey." She tucked him in. "Good night baby."

"Night mama." He whispered sleepily. After another kiss, she went over and fixed Jacob's blanket while Jackson and Eddie whispered quietly. Seeing Jackson talking to Eddie about his dream when he wouldn't talk to her about it sparked a surge of jealously. Shaking it off, she kissed Jacob and left room to tend to her little angel who had just woken up for an overnight snack.

* * *

The next morning, Janet was awakened again by the sound of crying coming through the baby monitor. Jocelyn was up and hungry which meant that even though she was exhausted, it was time to begin her day. Her children didn't care that after they got Jackson and Jocelyn back to sleep she was the one who couldn't fall back asleep. She wasn't comfortable with the jealousy she was feeling towards Eddie and the boys and that kept her awake for hours.

"You stay and sleep. I'll get her." Eddie told her as she began to sit up.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. After we came back to bed, you spent the rest of the night tossing and turning so I know you must be tired."

"I am."

"So you sleep. Jocey and I will hang out together."

"There is breast milk in the freezer."

"Don't worry. We'll be fine. You sleep in."

"I won't argue." She lay back down and buried herself under the covers. Eddie kissed her softly.

"Sleep well."

Four hours later, a little after ten Janet was standing in the doorway of the living room watching her family. Eddie was seated in the middle of the couch with the boys on all sides of him and Jocelyn in his lap watching cartoons in their pajamas. They all looked so happy without her.

"Morning honey." Eddie smiled when he saw her.

"Good morning." She walked over and kissed her daughter and all of her boys, saving the biggest one for last.

"Are you hungry? I saved you some pancakes."

"And bacon." Josh added.

"Wow. You made pancakes and bacon?" Janet was impressed.

"You sound surprised."

"It was the bestest breakfast ever." Jacob informed her and for the second time in two days a flash of jealousy rose within her but she quickly pushed it away. She was being ridiculous.

"I guess I need to try the bestest breakfast ever." Eddie stood and placed Jocelyn in her swing and then led Janet to the dining room.

"Please darling, have a seat and I will be right in with your breakfast." Smiling, Janet did as Eddie requested and he returned a few minutes later with her pancakes, bacon, a glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee.

"Now I am impressed. It's been awhile since I have been served breakfast."

"You deserve it." Eddie kissed her and then sat down next her, anxiously awaiting her verdict as she took a bite of the pancakes. "Well?"

"It's really good." Eddie smiled proudly.

"I'm glad you like it."

"I do."

"So how did you sleep?"

"Better. Thanks for letting me sleep in."

"Anytime."

"Daddy. Sponge Bob is back on. You are missing it." Jackson had come into the dining room.

"I'll be in there in a few minutes." With his head hung Jackson slowly walked back into the living room. "Those boys are pros at the pouty face. How do you manage not to give in to everyone of their requests?"

"Lots of practice. As much I wanted to say yes to their every request and give them everything that they have ever wanted, I couldn't so I learned to harden myself to their pouty looks."

"Ow. Give it back. It's mine." They heard Josh yell at one of his brothers. Automatically, because it was habit Janet started to stand but Eddie stopped her.

"I got it. You stay and enjoy your breakfast."

Eddie went into the living room and dealt with the fighting boys. It was quickly handled and it wasn't long before Janet heard laughter from all of them. She wasn't used to this. Saturday morning was her cuddle time with the kids. The five of them always enjoyed breakfast in her bed and now the Eddie was back it had changed. They were having another good ol' time without again and she didn't like the way it made her feel and that bad feeling didn't sit well with her. She was so happy Eddie was awake and home but she felt like she was losing her kids to him and losing him to the kids. She was so confused. What kind of person did that make her? What kind of person is jealous of her husband's relationship with their children? Apparently, she was that kind of person.


	43. Chapter 43

"Grandma, we're here for the party." Jackson shouted as the Latekka family walked into Jack and Laura's house. They had decided to throw Eddie a welcome home party.

"I see that." Laura greeted her grandchildren, son and daughter in law with a smile. "Grandpa is already outside. Why don't you guys go out and see him."

"YAY!" The three boys yelled running out the back door. They absolutely loved playing outside.

"Now what's wrong with this little angel?" Laura asked of Jocelyn who was crying in her father's arms.

"Naptime." Eddie answered. "I'm going to put her down." Laura kissed Jocelyn and Eddie went to put her in her crib.

"So do you need any help?" Janet asked.

"Of course I do. Follow me." The two women walked into the kitchen where Laura had lots of food laid out that needed to be transported outside.

A half an hour later the food was out, the kids were playing in the yard with cousins and the party was in full swing. Jack was manning the grill, turning out a ton of burgers. Laura couldn't sit still. She was flitting around making sure every one of her guests had everything that could need. Janet was standing on the deck looking out at everyone when Eddie came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"You look deep in thought. Whatcha' thinking about?" He asked.

"This scene is very familiar. Does it remind you of anything?"

"Our wedding."

"That's exactly what I was thinking."

"You know, that remains one of the best days of my life."

"Mine too." Eddie turned his wife towards him and gently kissed her until the guys began to yell for him. "Your fans await." She told him with a grin when they pulled away.

"I am one popular guy."

"You were missed. Go visit."

Janet smiled softly as she watched Eddie walk over to a table with Nick, Owen, Phil and Ikey. Seeing how many people were here to welcome him home reinforced how loved and cherished he was in this town and she felt silly about her feelings of jealousy that had been present over the past couple of days. The boys had missed their father so much so of course, they wanted all of his attention and they deserved it. She decided that her feelings were just silly womanly hormones and wasn't going to give it another thought.

The "Welcome Home Eddie" party was a rousing success. Everyone was had a blast. The triplets were entertained with all of the cousins so they played nonstop and pretty much left their mother alone which meant that Janet was able to have a practically uninterrupted visit with Katie which both women thoroughly enjoyed.

Since awakening from his coma, Eddie had been concentrating on getting muscle back so he could return home so he really hasn't had a chance to sit down with his friends and really just talk. He was able to catch up on everything that has happened in their lives and he was finally able to thank his best friends for looking after and helping Janet and the kids while he was unable to take care of his family. He knew he would never be able to ever repay them for what considered a simple act of friendship but to him, it was much more.

* * *

"Hey babe, the guys are heading to Sully's to hang out and invited me. Do you care if I go?" Eddie asked, early in the evening once the party finally closed down.

"You can't drink alcohol with your medication." Janet reminded him.

"I know that but it doesn't mean that I can't hang out and drink soda."

"Go ahead. Have fun."

"Will you be all right with the kids?" Eddie asked innocently, but when Janet heard those words, anger surged through her. She took a breath before answering.

"I think I can manage."He saw her face change but decided not to question it at this time.

"I'm going to go say goodbye to the kids."

"I wouldn't."

"What? Why?"

"Do you really think that they will let you just leave without them?"

"It will be fine." Eddie kissed Janet quickly and before she could protest any more he left her side and went to the boys.

Just as Janet figured the boys did not let Eddie just go. They cried and begged him to stay. Janet rescued him from the clutches of their three boys with ice cream. The triplets loved ice cream and ice cream could distract them from most anything so as soon as she brought out three ice cream sandwiches, they reluctantly said goodbye to their dad and joined their mom for their ice cream treat.

"Thanks for everything mom." Eddie said after he kissed her. "It was great."

"Where are you off to?"

"The guys and I are headed to Sully's. "

"Aren't you going to help Janet get the boys home?"

"She said that she can handle it."

"She can, but don't you think you should?"

"The guys are going now and they are my ride. Since I can't drive, I can't very well go home with Janet and then have her turn around and take me to Sully's. That makes no sense."

"Well have fun sweetheart." Laura kissed her son and went over to help Janet.

* * *

At eleven thirty Janet was woken up by a knock on the front door. After she got the kids in bed, she set herself up in the living room with a book and ended up dozing off.

"What happened?" Janet asked when she opened the door and found Eddie leaning against Nick.

"His legs hurt." Nick explained as the two of them made their way into the house.

"He's drunk."

"I had one beer and I'm buzzed; not drunk."

"Come on pal. Let's get you to bed." Nick helped Eddie to bed with Janet following behind.

"Janet, babe can you get me my pills?" Eddie groaned.

"Yeah sure."

"I'll see myself out." Nick held out his hand to Eddie and the two men shook hands. "I'll see you at work on Monday."

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Nick thanks for getting him home in one piece."

"No problem Janet." Eddie watched as his best friend and wife share a hug that ended with Janet receiving a kiss on the cheek which he did not like at all.

"How often has Nick seen himself out of our house?" Eddie mumbled once Nick had left their bedroom.

"What?"

"Never mind." Janet shrugged and went into their bathroom to grab the pills. When she returned Eddie was struggling to take his pants off.

"Let me help." Eddie didn't argue. She handed him his pills and then pulled his jeans off.

"Thanks." He grunted, lying back on the bed, wincing as he underused leg muscles cramped. Janet reached out and began to massage his leg like the physical therapist taught her."That feels so good. Thank you."

"You are very welcome. Did you have fun tonight?"

"Yeah. It was just like old times being back at Sully's with the boys. "

"Hopefully not too much like old times."

"No. We didn't pick up any women."

"You better not have."

"Why would I when I know I have a wonderful woman waiting for me at home?"

"Good answer." Janet adjusted her position and began to massage the other leg.

"Look I know you are pissed off at me because I drank."

"I'm not pissed off at you. You are an adult who can make your own decisions. I just worry about you."

"Dr. Weber told me that I could occasionally have one drink. He just warned me that it could affect me more than it would have before without the medicine."

"It looks like it did."

"Oh yeah."

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better. Thank you so much."

"You are very welcome."

"Why were you irritated with me when I left mom's house?" Janet sighed. "Talk to me."

"You asked me if I could handle getting the kids home on my own."

"Yeah."

"You seem to have forgotten that I have been handling the kids on my own for quite some time. It sounded so condescending that it pissed me off."

"I'm sorry. I didn't think."

"I shouldn't take it so personal. I guess I am overly hormonal."

"Are you PMSing?" He asked with a glare and she glared at him. "I will take that as a yes."

"Maybe."

"Well if it makes you feel better, I think I am a little overly hormonal but it's because I am buzzed not PMSing."

"What are you hormonal about?"

"You and Nick seem really close."

"What are you talking about?"

"When he left, he kissed you."

"My cheek Eddie."

"I didn't like it." Janet reached out for his hand.

"Yes Nick and I did get close; he was the one who took me to the hospital when I was in labor and sat with me until Hannah, your mom and my mom arrived. I work closely with him every day and as a result he became a very good friend but that's all he is and ever will be. He is happily married to Hannah and I am happily married to the big goof lying here."

"Big goof huh?"

"The biggest." She told him with a grin.

"Come to bed." He requested.

"In a minute. I need to lock up."

Janet's one minute turned into around ten minutes by the time she locked the house up, went upstairs and checked on the kids, retucking them in (she can never go to bed without checking on them), washed her face, brushed her teeth and changed into her pajamas and by the time she joined Eddie in bed, he was sound asleep, snoring softly. She rolled next to him and laid her head on his chest which woke him up and he wrapped an arm around her and kissed her head.

"G'night." He mumbled.

"Good night."

The next morning Janet began her day with the wonderful sound of their daughter cooing in her crib. For only the second time since her birth, Jocelyn had slept through the night. Eddie barely budged so Janet let him sleep and got up with Jocelyn.

"Morning baby girl." Jocelyn grinned at her mother and Janet's heart soared. "You slept all night for me. What's the occasion?" Janet lifted her out of her crib. "You must be starving." Jocelyn answered her by pulling her hair. "Okay little one, let's change you and get your belly full."

Janet had a very enjoyable morning. She and Jocelyn spent a couple of hours together playing until the boys woke up. After she made and they ate their breakfast they all settled in the living room playing together and watching television. By the time Eddie woke up around ten Janet had decided that they all should spend the day in their pajamas. It was raining; the perfect day for a pajama day but she failed to tell Eddie her plans.

"I think since the weather is so crappy, we should go to the movies today. What do you guys think?" Eddie asked them, out of the blue without discussing his idea with his wife.

"Yeah." The three boys cheered.

"Can we get popcorn daddy?" Jacob asked.

"Of course we can."

"I want to see the alien movie." Josh yelled.

"Me too, I want to see the alien movie." Jackson agreed.

"That sounds great."

"When can we go?" Josh asked. Now that they knew the plan, they wouldn't stop talking about it until they were seated in the movie theater.

"Let's go check." The boys ran over to the computer leaving their parents.

"I guess I will be getting a shower." Janet told Eddie.

"What's wrong?" He knew by her tone she was irritated.

"I…nothing." She answered shaking her head.

"You have never been a very good liar."

"I don't want to talk about it right now."

"So you are irritated with me?"

"Yes. As a matter of fact I am."

"What did I do?"

"It's what you didn't do is the problem."

"Excuse me?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it right now."

"But we will talk?"

"Later. Jocey needs changed." She turned and walked back to their bedroom without another word.

Janet spent a few extra minutes in the shower, calming herself down. She did not want to fight with Eddie; especially in front of the boys. She understood why he suggested a movie; today was the perfect day to spend at the movies, if they had the money which they didn't and once a movie was suggested there was no way that she could say no because they were six years old and were so excited so she would have to bust into her Christmas money. Movies were not cheap and that fact hasn't changed in fifteen months but Eddie seemed to have forgotten that as well as speaking with her about any plans before discussing them with the kids. She was so frustrated with him because he didn't seem to understand how hard things were and still are for them financially for them.

As expected the movie venture cost them a small fortune. Thankfully, they went to a matinee and they weren't charged for Jocelyn but for all of them, it still cost them around forty dollars. The movie theater got another twenty dollars from with the purchase of popcorn, candy and drinks for the boys and Eddie and a drink for Janet and when the movie was over, they went out for a late lunch at the new pizza place which cost them another thirty dollars. It was not a cheap day at all.

During her shower Janet put all of her frustrations in the back of her mind so she and her family could enjoy the day together; she would worry about the money later and it was the best decision that she could have made because it was a fun day. The boys had an absolute blast. They loved the movie and behaved like champs. Jocelyn made it about forty five minutes sitting on her mother's lap until she fell asleep. There was only one small argument between the boys over who was going to sick next to daddy. Once Janet managed to talk Josh into sitting next to her and Jocelyn the argument ended and everyone was able to enjoy the movie.

Later that night, after they had been home Hannah had called and invited Janet to go with her to go to the high school's fall musical, which Sam had a major role in. As he has gotten older Sam had become quite the good actor and Janet has never missed one of his shows. Eddie knew she was still irritated with him and he still wasn't quite sure what he did so he wanted to stay on her good side so he encouraged her to go and leave him with the kids. He lived by the code "A happy wife equals a happy life."

"Okay, so the boys need to be in bed by eight thirty. They also need their baths so I usually start the bathing process between seven and seven thirty usually closer to seven if they want to play in the tub and if they do play, don't let them stay in the tub so long that the water gets cold because I don't want the boys to get sick."

"Got it."

"And if you have a chance, Jocey could use a bath too." Eddie nodded. "Now if you guys get hungry, there are leftover tacos in the fridge."

"Relax Janet. I've got. You just go and have a fun evening."

"Thanks I will." She quickly kissed his lips. "I will see you later." When she said goodbye to the boys, they simply waved and said goodbye; no tears or begging her to stay like they did when Eddie left the day before.

* * *

"What on earth is going on in here?" Janet had just gotten home, a few minutes after nine and found that the living room was a mess, the kitchen was a mess and the boys and Eddie were at the dining room table putting together a puzzle.

"Hey honey. What are you doing home so soon?"

"It's not soon Eddie. It's five after nine."

"What? No it's not." He glanced at his watch. "Wow. It really is. I'm sorry honey." He knew he really screwed up.

"Come on boys. Upstairs so we can get baths." Janet told them, not acknowledging Eddie's apology.

"I can do that." Eddie insisted.

"No thanks. I will do it. You can take care of the mess you guys made down here and get Jocey ready for bed." She instructed. "Let's go guys." The boys and Eddie knew by Janet's tone that they should do exactly as she told them, which they did.

Janet and the boys went upstairs. She started the bath water and while the tub was filling up she picked out their school clothes for the next day. To move things along quickly, she bathed each one of the boys separately. She chose to bathe Josh first since he looked exhausted. Within thirty minutes all three boys were clean and in their beds. Josh had fallen asleep soon after his bath and the other two were hanging on by a thread.

"Good night boys, I love you." She told them, after she kissed them.

"What about Harry Potter?" The boys had seen a Harry Potter movie over at Jack and Laura's house and they fell in love with the movie so Janet had been reading a chapter a night from the Harry Potter books and they loved it.

"Not tonight Jax. It's too late."

"You are so mean." He spat.

"Good night sweetheart." Janet stepped out of the room as Eddie and Jocelyn came out of her room.

"She's all ready for bed. Do you want to feed her?"

"Yes please." Eddie handed their daughter over to her mother. When Janet went into Jocelyn's room, he went into the boys' room. He had heard Jax's comment to his mother and he wasn't happy.

"Jax you should not have told your mother that she is mean."

"She is. She won't read us our story."

""It's my fault. I kept you guys up to late so there is no story. If you are going to be mad at anyone, you should be made at me."

"I'm not mad at you."

"Well you shouldn't be mad at your mommy so you need to go and tell her that you are sorry for calling her mean."

"Fine."

"She is in Jocey's room feeding her." With his head hanging, Jax walked across the hall into his sister's room.

"Jackson, you should be in bed." Janet told him.

"Daddy told me to come over and tell you that I am sorry."

"For what?"

"For telling you that you are mean."

"Well are you?"

"What?"

"Are you sorry?"

"Yes."

"Maybe you should say it." Jackson sighed.

"I'm sorry for calling you mean. You aren't mean."

"Thank you. Now give me a kiss and go back to bed." He did as he was asked.

"Night mommy."

"Good night Jackson."

When Jocelyn was fed and asleep Janet went to the kitchen so she could make the boys' lunches. Eddie was in the living room cleaning up from their evening activities. Janet had to pass through the living room to get to the kitchen which she did while ignoring him. He knew it was going to be a fun night.

"Need any help? I got everything cleaned up out there." Eddie asked softly."

"No thanks. I got it under control. I've been doing things on my own for over a year." She snapped.

"Look Janet, I know I screwed up tonight and I am sorry."

"There is a schedule that the boys need to follow."

"I said I was sorry."

"I know how much you missed the boys and I know how much they missed you but they need you to be their father and not a friend."

"What in the hell does that mean?"

"It means that I end up being the bad guy and you end up being the good guy. I have been the bad guy for so long, I am ready for someone else to take that job over. Tonight, you had fun with the boys and then I had to come home, be the bad guy and end it." Janet walked over and placed the completed lunches in the fridge. "And today with the movies, you were their big hero"

"What's the big deal about the movies? It was a fun days and the boys had fun."

"The big deal is we couldn't afford it."

"Obviously we did."

"Because I had to break into my stash of Christmas money."

"What?"

"It cost us almost one hundred dollars today and now, that's almost one hundred dollars less that the boys will have for Christmas." Tears filled her eyes. "They want the hand held Nintendo for Christmas. Do you have any idea how much those cost?" Eddie shook his head. "They are about one hundred dollars apiece and then the games are expensive too. Now, I am afraid that I won't be able to afford to get the boys what they want and if I can't afford to get one for each boy then I can't get it for any of them."

"You keep saying I. You aren't alone any more. I'm back. I am starting back at work tomorrow."

"Only for half days." She sniffed.

"But that's more money than you have had right? Together we can make up what we spent today."

"What if we can't? What if we can't give them the Christmas they deserve?" Janet sat at the kitchen table and put her head in hands. "Last Christmas, the only reason the boys had a good Christmas was because your parents, my mom and Tom chipped in. I am a failure. I couldn't provide for our children."

"That's not true sweetheart. You did the best you could do for them in the circumstances. There is no shame in accepting help."

"I wanted to say no to the movies today because all I could think about was the money it was going to cost and where I was going to get it. I was so mad because you didn't ask me before you told the boys and they were so excited that I couldn't say no and be the bad guy."

"You are not the bad guy Janet."

"I am. They like you more than me."

"What are you talking about? They love you."

"Maybe but they like you more."

"You are being ridiculous."

"When I left today, I just got a bye and when you left yesterday, they cried and begged you to stay."

"You can't take that personally."

"When Jax had his nightmare, he asked for you not me and then he wouldn't tell me about his dream but he told you."

"He dreamt that I was gone again and he didn't want to tell you because he didn't want to make you sad again." Janet began to cry. Eddie moved next to her. "Don't cry sweetheart."

"I am such a horrible person. I have been jealous of you?"

"Of me? Why?"

"Since your coma, every Saturday the kids and I would have breakfast in our bed and watch cartoons. Yesterday you and the kids had breakfast together and watched television without me and I was so jealous. I feel like,…the boys want you more than me and I hate it." Eddie pulled Janet into his arms. "What kind of woman is jealous of the relationship between her kids and husband?"

"I think it's natural."

"How?"

"You've been on your own for so long and now I am here putting a kink in your routine."

"You're their dad, not a kink." Janet sat up and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry Eddie."

"So am I. You are right. I have been acting more as a friend than a dad. It's just that I know how much they needed me when I was gone and I guess I am trying to make up for that."

"They did miss you."

"From now on, I am going to be their dad first and friend second."

"I think that's a good idea."

"I want to know the traditions and routines that you and the kids have now and I would like to be a part of them."

"I would like that too."

"And I am promising you right now babe that our boys, Jocelyn and you are going to have the Christmas you guys deserve. Each of the boys will open the Nintendo thingy that they want."

"I don't care about me. I just want the kids to be happy."

"You may not care about you but I care about you." Eddie pulled Janet towards him and kissed her softly.

"I'm sorry for the way I have been acting."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I over stepped a lot lately and for that, I am sorry."

"Tomorrow is a new day Eddie and we can start over."

"Come on babe. Let's go to bed so I can take care of you."

"I like the sound of that." Eddie pulled Janet to her feet and to his chest. "Even though I have been acting like a crazy woman and I was mad at you, I do love you."

"I know and even though you have been acting like a crazy woman who is ticked off at me, I love you too." The couple laughed and pressed their lips to each other, kissing slowly and tenderly.


End file.
